Sonia Marsh's Blog, page 27

“My Gutsy Story®” Suellen Zima

A Hummingbird Life

Unexpectedly, but very clearly, I heard myself thinking, “I know what the next 20 years of my life will be like.” Immediately, and also very clearly, I heard, “But I don’t want to know what the next 20 years of my life will be like.” That realization didn’t make much sense to me since I was living the life I had always wanted to live. I was in my mid-30s, happily married to my high school sweetheart, full time mom to a healthy son, doing meaningful volunteer work, and all was well – wasn’t it?

I had lived a mostly traditional lifestyle, except for consciously choosing to adopt rather than having a biological child. I had been a foster care social worker, so it made more sense to me to take a child without a family rather than create another child. We were white, and our son was black. We were a somewhat unusual family, but a happy one.

About the only thing my husband and I disagreed about was how long to go away on vacations. I loved traveling in a way he didn’t. I wanted to go longer, and farther away. While my son was still a toddler, although I had no intention of ever doing so, I signed up for a community college short course called “Traveling Alone As A Woman.” What I remembered most from that short course was seeing a woman who had done such a thing. A visiting guest from Israel casually mentioned that it was possible to be a volunteer on a kibbutz in Israel. I felt a shiver of excitement.

Something deep, powerful, and unrelenting inside kept pushing me out of the cozy confines of the life my husband and I had created together until, by the age of 37, I had destroyed what I had spent so many years building. Our 12-year-old son, unable to feel secure with the mother I had become, chose to stay with his dad when I moved away. In the summer break from getting a Master’s degree in Social Work, I finally got to see Israel for the first time as a volunteer on a kibbutz. I was the oldest volunteer there. In 1983, at 40, I started life as an immigrant in a new land, with a new language to learn, and a new culture to decipher.

I also had chosen a new name for myself – one I fashioned from a Swahili word that incorporated my pain at leaving the husband I loved, and my hope for the future. Unfortunately, I found out when I moved to Israel that it was, coincidentally, a very bad word in Hebrew.

Five years later, when my savings were down to $5,000, I thought, “I need to go around the world before I run out of money.” Simple curiosity made China a priority. What I didn’t expect was that China’s complicated society would intrigue and magnetize me for the rest of my life.

I found that the hummingbird and I shared several characteristics. We both plant our feet firmly in mid-air, hover, drink deeply, and then flit away. We are very independent creatures who live life quickly and intensely. If someone tries to hold us, we will die. But we can fly backwards as well as forwards at will.

I was content and, indeed, often elated living as a hummingbird throughout the world for over 16 years. Continuous new experiences challenged me. Although there were many discomforts and inconveniences, especially in third world China, I knew I tired of the “known” much more than the “unknown.” From my first teaching job in China, found by knocking on doors and saying, “Hi, I’d like to teach English,” I knew I’d found my happiest career.

My journeys were geographical, but also explorations into deeply personal, emotional, and cultural dimensions. There were many truly magical moments of serendipity along the way, as well as pure luck. I am grateful I found what my soul craved. I don’t have to say, “I wish I had ..”

I discovered the parts that made me whole – my personality was American, my homeland was Israel, my heart was in China, and my spirit was in Bali. I turned into a sculptor of sorts, able to carve out niches for myself wherever I went. I was at home being housemother in an Israeli boarding school to newly arrived Ethiopian Jewish teenage immigrants, then living and working in an Israeli-Arab town trying to promote mutual respect between Israeli Arabs and Israeli Jews. I loved the adventure of finding teaching jobs in China, Taiwan, Macau, Bali, and Korea that allowed me inside the cultures.

From inside China, I saw the tumultuous changes in the lives of my students over more than two decades. By continually nurturing the relationships I made with my students through frequent letters and visits, I stayed in their lives and they remain my friends today. Six of my students asked me to be the honorary grandmother to their children. Being in their children’s lives as they grow up has been a continuing joy in my life.

The journals I kept as my constant traveling companions turned into my first book, “Memoirs of a Middle-aged Hummingbird,” published in 2006. The book is the link with that life that can never die.

My son never forgave me for leaving the family, and often refused any contact with me.  However, he did re-establish contact when he knew he was dying of AIDS.  He died in 2003.  I recently published “Out of Step:  A Diary To My Dead Son.”  I have to live with a lingering guilt for having left my husband and son, but my nomadic years traveling solo to unusual nooks and crannies in the world were undoubtedly the most fulfilling years of my life.

I am now a more settled senior hummingbird who only sometimes wanders, still wonders, and often writes.

SUELLEN ZIMA: One lucky Friday the 13th began the unusual journeys of my life as wife, mother, social worker, world explorer, English teacher, and author.  My journals captured the details of my travels, published in “Memoirs of a Middle-aged Hummingbird.”

The need to make my dead son come more alive to me became a diary.  “Out of Step:  A Diary To My Dead Son,” attempts to repair our damaged relationship by interweaving past and present, interracial adoption in the 1970s, divorce and guilt, HIV-AIDS, homosexuality, and one mother-son relationship.

I continue to wander, wonder, and blog as The Senior Hummingbird. You can find both books on Suellen’s Website.

Please join Suellen on Facebook.  Also on Twitter: @SuellenZima

Click to go to Amazon

Click to go to Amazon Kindle

SONIA MARSH SAYS: Suellen, I think you are such a courageous person to share your story and the guilt of “abandoning” your family as well as being true to yourself. I understand your “hummingbird” desires to explore and experience as much as you can in life. I hope to see you at our September 26th event and meet Marybeth Bond, the “Gutsy Traveler.”

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE JULY “My Gutsy Story®.”
(One Vote per person on the sidebar.)
The voting has started for your favorite July 2013 “My Gutsy Story®.” You have 2 weeks to vote. The winner will be announced on August 15th and gets to select a prize from our sponsors.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get  published in our 2nd anthology?

Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Janet Givens is our first “My Gutsy Story®” for the month of August.

Share One Sentence & One Photo About You

Share One Sentence & One Photo About You

 

Is there something “Gutsy” you really want to do? What is it?
Is there something “Gutsy” you’ve already done? What is it?
Is there something “Gutsy” you regret not doing? What is it?

Please answer in no more than 25 words the above question. (Answer only one of the 3 questions.) Please send a photo of you to go along with your answer.

My Answer: I wish I’d become an international journalist to help the public understand global issues. (Christiane Amanpour, is my gutsy hero.)

Reflecting on a career as an international journalist.

I’m putting a short video together with “gutsy” dreams of people around the world, and wish to share these in my video. Please e-mail me at: Sonia@soniamarsh.com with your (one sentence-one photo contribution.) I shall notify you if your sentence is selected. The sooner you send it, the better your chances of being selected.

This video will be no more than 1minute 30 seconds, so please keep it brief.

I am starting a Pubslush campaign next week, offering various “Gutsy” levels of incentives. I hope you’ll be interested in seeing the fun, final video and more on the incentives. (Updates coming soon.)

If selected, your sentence and photo will be featured, and your website link. Click here to read more about the event.

The goal of the My Gutsy Story® Anthology series is to build a safe community aimed at helping one another overcome life’s challenges, encourage adventure and grow stronger with the knowledge that there are always options in life.

 ***

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE JULY “My Gutsy Story®.”
(One Vote per person on the sidebar.)
The voting has started for your favorite July 2013 “My Gutsy Story®.” You have 2 weeks to vote. The winner will be announced on August 15th and gets to select a prize from our sponsors.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get  published in our 2nd anthology?

Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here.

Janet Givens is our first “My Gutsy Story®” for the month of August.

Next Monday, August 12th, look for Suellen Zima’s story.

“My Gutsy Story®” Janet Givens

 

 

 Leaving A Life I Loved: When the Peace Corps Beckoned

 “I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.”  Lucille Ball

 

I joined the Peace Corps June 10, 2004. I was 55 and my husband Woody was ten years older. The application process took us two years, as our commitment to Peace Corps would be.

I’d initially ignored my husband’s suggestion, two years earlier, that I “just check out their website.” But after two weeks of seeing him so excited by the idea, I finally did.

He’d sprung his “I think we should join Peace Corps” idea in late May of 2002. At that time we’d not yet been married three years and — critical piece here — he’d retired the year before. For nearly thirty years, he’d been a professor of Speech Science at Temple University in Philadelphia and had traveled and written widely in his chosen subfield, stuttering. He was looking for a new challenge. I was not.

I already had a life I loved, including a new career. After a lifetime in the non-profit world raising money and organizing volunteers, I’d completed an extensive three-year training in Gestalt psychotherapy and, five years early, had opened what came to be an inherently rewarding private practice in the living room of my three-story Italianate home on Philadelphia’s west side.

I also loved playing host parents with Woody to foreign students living on our third floor. They came generally from parts of Asia and South America, and were enrolled in the University of Pennsylvania’s ESL program. The students filled our home with youthful energy, new ways of seeing the world, and a very nice rental income.

It was a life I envisioned having into my eighties. But, the Peace Corps had been a dream of mine since I’d watched my college classmates join and go off to parts unknown nearly forty years before. I hadn’t applied in 1971 because I was sure the stuttering I’d struggled with since childhood would keep me out.

By 2002, my stuttering had been a non-issue for many years. Besides, Woody felt that if we were ever going to go, the time was then — he wasn’t getting any younger, after all. Browsing through their website, reading about the places we could go, people we could meet, work that was waiting for us, I was smitten. Within two weeks, we’d sent in our online applications. I could be a Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV) after all.

My memoir, At Home On the Kazakh Steppe, tells the story of this mid-life jump into the unknown. But it doesn’t tell much about what I left behind. Somehow, writing about it felt like whining. I did, after all, join voluntarily. I did sell my Philadelphia home with the six-foot-long tub and French bidet I’d added during renovations only a few years before. I’d sold my two-year old car for one-third what I’d paid for it. I’d parted with furniture I loved; hundreds of books, some of them mine since high school; closets full of clothes; stuff. It was all just stuff, I reminded myself. And it still feels like whining. Except for Merlin.

A rescued greyhound, Merlin came into our lives in August of 1999. Woody and I joke that we got married just so we could adopt him. Not my first dog by any means, but a different dog than any I’d had before. He carried himself with a graceful dignity that let us know that chasing a silly ball — never mind bringing it back just to do it again — was beneath him. He taught me patience (ever a challenge), and he was truly the world’s fastest couch potato. He and I bonded quickly, and life without him was unthinkable. Until the Peace Corps entered the picture.

During the final year that it took for our medical clearance to come through, we lined up a foster home for him. But in the weeks before our departure, the family’s circumstances changed and they had to renege. With two weeks to go before we were scheduled to leave, we found a second family who wanted him, but they would take him only if they could keep him. I was devastated. After forty-eight hours of angry, broken-hearted sobs, I signed him over to them permanently.

Such was the pull that becoming a PCV had on me.

Though I’d wanted to join Peace Corps for nearly forty years, by the spring of 2002, there was an even stronger pull on me to join. With the fall of the Twin Towers, Woody and I felt an unusual type of patriotism. Initially proud of the outpouring of public sympathy, even from longtime adversaries of our country, we were dismayed to find that support evaporating as our country drew closer and closer to war. We wanted to take a stand, make a statement, and be counted among those who preferred peace.

The Kara-Kengir river flowed into and through Zhezkazgan, where we lived. A bit upriver, and out of town, this was the scene of a great picnic one May afternoon.

I’ve only mentioned the permanent losses (or what I believed at the time were permanent; we actually did get Merlin back and enjoyed him for four more years). I haven’t talked about leaving behind my network of friends and colleagues, not being able to participate in two years of my grandchildren’s lives, or leaving the rest of my family: the part of my life I put on hold.

Some of this was mitigated by technology: the Internet was far more available than I ever imagined it could be in a Peace Corps country. But the pain of letting go of attachments — what had, according to the Buddhist teachings I am drawn to, created my misery — did not hit me until it was too late to grab any of them back.

These ladies sold paper products at the bazaar in Kazakhstan. They wanted their faces to get to America.

People often comment on how brave we were. I can see how it might look that way: newly married, older couple abandons worldly possessions in pursuit of loftier goals. But I never felt it took any particular courage. In fact, I’ve come to believe that by leaving so much of what I valued behind, I was more committed to success — to “making a difference” — than I might have been otherwise, though I was never sure what that “difference” might be.

In writing my memoir, I’ve discovered the difference I really made was in me.

 ***

NOTE: The Peace Corps is a U.S. State Department program begun in 1961 by President John F Kennedy. Since it’s beginning, it has had three goals: To provide training and skills to countries that ask for our help, to bring aspects of our culture to the people in these foreign lands, and (when we return) to teach about these cultures to the people of the United States.

The Peace Corps has no upper age limit and requires only that their volunteers be US citizens and have either a college degree or “life experience that can be taught” (such as farming or fishing). There is a lengthy application process, background check, and a quite detailed medical clearance is required. For more information, their website is www.peacecorps.gov

JANET GIVENS BIO: Just when her life felt right — new home, new grandchildren, new career, new husband — Janet Givens left it all behind and, with her new husband, joined the Peace Corps.

The latest of many jumps into the unknown, her two years in Peace Corps were filled with struggles, surprises, and rewards, vividly recalled in her memoir, At Home on the Kazakh Steppe, out later this year.

Fascinated with the “Oh no” moments that make us gasp and curious about behaviors and beliefs we often take for granted, she blogs about negotiating boundaries, making connections, and embracing transitions at http://janetgivens.com/blog. Join her on Twitter @GivensJanet, and on her Facebook Page: Janet_Givens_Author, as well as her own FB Personal Profile: givensj48

 SONIA MARSH SAYS: Since I have a strong desire to join the Peace Corps, it was interesting for me to read how you felt prior to leaving. I look forward to reading your memoir and the adventures and misadventures you had while in Kazakhstan. The part that intrigued me was your personal discovery. “I’ve discovered the difference I really made was in me.” This is what happened to me after my year in Belize.

 ***
VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE JULY “My Gutsy Story®.”
(One Vote per person on the sidebar.)
The voting has started for your favorite July 2013 “My Gutsy Story®.” You have 2 weeks to vote. The winner will be announced on August 15th and gets to select a prize from our sponsors.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get  published in our 2nd anthology?

Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Vote for your Favorite July 2013 “My Gutsy Story®”

The voting starts right now for your favorite July 2013 “My Gutsy Story®.” You have 2 weeks to vote. The winner will be announced on August 15th and gets to select a prize from our sponsors.

Vote on Sidebar. Only ONE vote each.

Our first moving story of the month was from Liz Burgess.

Liz Burgess

Liz reminds us that learning to be patient and to accept change is not easy, and her story about “letting go,” is inspiring.

Our second story this month is by Sharon Leaf.

Sharon Leaf

Sharon’s story has two important messages: Are you going to let fear rule you?  You don’t need a lot of stuff to be happy—four gym lockers will do.

Our third story is by Patti Hall.

Patti Hall

Patti has such an inspiring story about how she focused on her passion to write while overcoming the loss of her husband.

Our fourth story is by Destiny Allison.

Destiny Allison

Another inspiring story about how Destiny turned her love for sculpting into a profitable business, and how she found a way to juggle her business and home life with three kids, as a single mother.

Our fifth story is by Donald Dempsey.

Donald Dempsey and his son

Considering Donald’s own childhood, with an abusive mother, I found his story fascinating, especially how much he wanted to give his son everything he did not have as a child.

***





Be Inspired to ‘Bring Out the Gutsy in You’

Click here for Special Event News

Are you ready to take the next gutsy step in your life? I’m hosting an event in Orange County on Sept. 26 that will inspire you to act on that dream you’ve been holding inside.

This event is free, and you’re invited.

Click here to reserve your seat today.

Name and e-mail required.

 

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get  published in our 2nd anthology?

Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Visit us on Monday August 5th.  Janet Givens will be sharing her “My Gutsy Story®.”

“My Gutsy Story®” Donald Dempsey

 

Birth

“Listen, I need you to understand what we’re up against going in,” the Doctor said again.  His almost serene manner was infuriating.  He kept gazing at me like he was waiting for me to understand, or explode.  “There is a very real possibility the baby won’t make it.  You will need to be strong for your wife.”

My wife was a nineteen-year-old girl in a room down the hall.  She was currently hooked up to so many tubes and machines that it was hard to look at her without fainting.  She was pale and frightened, and in pain.  It was more than six weeks before the baby’s due date and she’d lost nearly twenty pounds, instead of gaining weight like a normal, healthy mother-to-be.  Her appearance was haunting and surreal.

I felt more helpless and scared than at any other time in my life.

“I understand.”

“We expect the baby to weigh somewhere between 2 and 2-1/2 pounds, and we’ve taken every precaution.  I have a specialist here who will take charge of the baby as soon as we deliver.  Your wife will probably require some special attention during and after delivery.”  He leaned forward and peered at me to stress his next point, his eyes widening a bit.  “If you can’t remain calm and supportive it would be best if you waited this out with her family.”

Afterward, I washed my face with water and caught my reflection in the mirror above the sink.  I was looking pretty haggard myself.  Little sleep, long hours in the factory, and the stress of my wife’s difficult pregnancy was taking a toll.  I noticed my hands trembling.  My breathing was irregular.  My heart was pumping so loudly I could hear it.

Without planning to I reached over and locked the door, then flicked off the light.  I could still see a shadow of myself in the mirror.  There was a hum of activity on the other side of the door.  I hated myself for feeling so weak.  I detested being afraid.  My normal response to these emotions was anger.  I could get downright hostile when pushed on.  Such a response would do me no good in my present situation.  In fact, such a response never did me any good.  I just hadn’t learned that valuable lesson yet.

I dropped my head and began to talk.  My hands gripped the cool porcelain of the sink.  My words were quiet, but earnest and sincere.  I wasn’t religious but I did believe in God.  I had learned a few things about churches and pastors, none of them pleasant.  But I found myself praying nonetheless, hoping that God would hear me and take pity on my wife and unborn son.  It didn’t take long until I was on my knees and begging.

I promised I would be a better father than the man I had never known had been to me.  I beseeched God for the chance to break the cycle of pain and despair I’d been born into.  My troubled childhood and a stint in the Marine Corps had transformed me into a young man who was hard to get close to.  Dropping my pride wasn’t easy.  I had always counted on myself during tough times.  It would be years before life would teach me how important humility truly was.

As I composed myself I felt the familiar anger rising, but squelched it.  I knew I was at a crossroads.  I had come so far, overcome so much.  I’d worked hard to put the past behind me.  But I knew if something happened to my wife or son I was going to suffer terribly.  I didn’t think I’d be able to get past such a tragedy.  I wasn’t sure I had the capacity to deal with anymore pain.

A few grueling hours later I was peering through a glass window at my infant son.  My wife was resting comfortably.  It hadn’t been easy, but she’d done it.  I was certain it was going to be many years before I recovered from the harrowing experience we’d just survived.  As low as I’d been before the delivery, I now found myself surging with hope and promise.  I couldn’t stop smiling.  I kept touching the glass and leaning toward my son, straining to get a better look.  I had never been happier than at that moment.

A man next to me chuckled.  “Your first?”  I barely glanced at him but nodded.  “Yeah, I can tell.”  He didn’t sound nearly as excited as I was.  “Which one’s yours?”

I pointed.  A nurse was still attending my son, taking blood from the sole of one of his feet.  He was squirming and giving her hell.  “The good looking one,” I told him needlessly.

“A boy,” he muttered.  “Good for you.  That’s my third girl over there.”  I glanced in the direction he indicated and smiled just to be polite.  “You won’t be nearly so excited the second or third time around.”

I wasn’t listening to him any longer.  What did he know?  My son was going to change my life.  He was going to prove to the world that I was worth something.  He was going to be everything I felt I was never given the chance to be.  Everyone would see.  All that I never had would be his.  I’d see to that.  No matter how many hours I had to work, there would be no sacrifice I wouldn’t make.  He was going to want for nothing and have everything.

My life changed drastically that day.  Almost every decision I made from that point on was focused on that boy.  He became my reason for living.  I pushed for the best grades and accepted nothing less.  I demanded success from him in every athletic endeavor, and there were many.  And I never forgot my promise to God.  I gave him everything I never had, and I never walked away.

The poor kid.

 

Click on cover to order book

About the Author:

Don Dempsey experienced childhood abuse and neglect first hand, but went on to have a fulfilling family life as an adult and to own his own business. “If you’re lucky, you make it to adulthood in one piece,” says Don. “But there’s no guarantee the rest of your life is going to be any better. Abused kids are often plagued by fear and insecurity. They battle depression and have trouble with relationships. In the worst cases, abused children perpetuate the cycle.” But Don is living proof that you can overcome a childhood of abuse and neglect. “You start by letting go of as much of the guilt (yes, abused kids feel guilty) and as many of the bad memories as possible. At the same time, you hold on to the things that helped you survive. For me, it was the belief that you can make life better by working at it and earning it. It helps to have a sense of humor, too.”

Find out more about the author by visiting him online:

Betty’s Child website: www.BettysChild.com
Donald Dempsey Facebook: www.facebook.com/donald.dempsey.3
Twitter hashtag: #BCDempsey
You can order Betty’s Child on Amazon

SONIA MARSH SAYS: Thank you Donald for sharing your life-changing moment, when your son was born. I found it so moving when you said,

“My son was going to change my life.  He was going to prove to the world that I was worth something.  He was going to be everything I felt I was never given the chance to be.  Everyone would see.” 

After reading this, I realized how much you wanted to give your son everything you did not have as a child, but then I thought about the pressure on your son to become your “reason for living.” Also to get “the best grades” and how you “accepted nothing less.” I love the way you ended with “The poor kid.”

(Donald Dempsey is on a blog tour with WOW! Women on Writing. I requested he write a “My Gutsy Story®” which he accepted.)

 ***





Be Inspired to ‘Bring Out the Gutsy in You’

Click here for Special Event News

Are you ready to take the next gutsy step in your life? I’m hosting an event in Orange County on Sept. 26 that will inspire you to act on that dream you’ve been holding inside.

This event is free, and you’re invited.

Click here to reserve your seat today.

Name and e-mail required.

 

***

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get published in our 2nd anthology?

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Our July stories have started with Liz Burgess and Sharon Leaf, Patti Hall all sharing her “My Gutsy Story®.”

VOTING for your favorite July “My Gutsy Story®” starts on August 1st-14th. The WINNER will be announced on August 15th.

Do You Know Someone “Gutsy” in Your Community?

Sonia Marsh on her son’s unicycle

Do you know someone “Gutsy” in your community?

We need your help. Please nominate a “Gutsy” person in one of the following locations.

Orange County
San Diego
Los Angeles

Send us their name, and a 200 word max. e-mail about why this person is “Gutsy.” Please send e-mail to: gutsyanthology@gmail.com

We would like to bring them on stage for the “Bring Out the Gutsy in You” event for the launch of our first Anthology on September 26th,  in Orange County, CA.

For more information, and to sign-up for the event,  please click on the event page and sign-up to attend. It’s FREE.

 

This event is free, and you’re invited.

Click here to reserve your seat today.

Name and e-mail required.

 

When: September 26, 2013.

Where: Regency South Coast Village 3, 1561 W. Sunflower Avenue, Santa Ana, Calif. (MAP)

Time: 6 to 9 p.m. (Photos of where we shall be here.)

There is no charge for the event, whose theme is “Bring Out the Gutsy in You.” I hope attendees will be inspired to step out of their comfort zone, take risks and follow their passion.

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get  published in our 2nd anthology?

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Our July stories have started with Liz Burgess  , Sharon Leaf, Patti Hall and Destiny Allison all sharing their “My Gutsy Story®.”

VOTING for your favorite July “My Gutsy Story®” starts on August 1st-14th. The WINNER will be announced on August 15th.

 

“My Gutsy Story®” Destiny Allison

 

In an instant

In an instant, my world collapsed. It wasn’t just the absence of planes in the sky or the way people wandered around blank and numb. By then, I’d turned off the news, not wanting my young children to be more frightened than they already were. Like most, I did what I had to do to get through the days. I even bought a flag and hung it on my porch — solidarity with my country, grief for what had been lost. I went to work, interacted with a new boss I couldn’t stand, and did my job. Until, that is, I didn’t have one. 9/11 had destroyed the economy and crushed the annual fundraiser our small non-profit depended upon. As fast as the planes had hit the buildings, and with the same shock of disbelief and terror, I was unemployed.

I was a single mom, raising my three children alone. There was little in the way of child support, only a pittance in my savings account, and a new mortgage I couldn’t afford. Everything in me froze. Where would I find a job? How would I care for my kids? Through long and sleepless nights, I stared at the ceiling, my heart racing. Then as winter crept up frost covered windows, something in me started to thaw. Could my layoff have been a gift? Was there a message in all of this?

I had been an artist for years, wrestling my clay and wax at night and on weekends when my children were sleeping or occupied. I had placed a few pieces in local galleries and even sold some, but never enough to let me quit my proverbial day job. Making art was the only thing I never gave up on, the only thing that offered my hard life a measure of relief. In those cold days between Thanksgiving and Christmas, while I worried how to keep the heat on, a voice kept whispering, “Now or never, girl. It’s now or never.”

I made the leap. Instead of job hunting, I started making things, submitting my portfolio to shows, and praying. Instead of reacting to my circumstances, I would change them, take control of my life for the first time, and become the woman I wanted to be.

The first show was hard, but I sold just enough to pay my bills and get to the next one. I learned everything I could about my new business and applied it quickly. The second show was a little better. By summer, I was making more money than my old job had paid me. It was hard. Really, really hard, but I was doing it.

I worked seven days a week building sculptures as fast as I could. Some of them I didn’t like, some were okay, and others had that glimmer of something that sparked my breath. It didn’t matter what I thought about the work. It sold. All of it. What I thought was terrible brought a buyer to tears. The art moved people. I learned how to talk about my work and share the personal stories that inspired the pieces. I learned how to price, when to spend money and when to save it, and how to be myself.  Instead of dressing to impress, I dressed for comfort so I wasn’t self-conscious while selling my work.  Every six weeks I took to the road for a week or two. I hired nannies — something I will always regret — missed my kids, and worried they felt I had abandoned them. In some ways, I did. There wasn’t a choice. They needed food, clothes, a roof over their head, and a decent education. Their teenage years were hard on all of us. Every time I wondered if I was doing the right thing, I thought that if I gave up my passion I would teach them to do the same. I couldn’t live with that so I chose to model what it takes to make it and spent as much time with them as I could.

Fast forward twelve years. My children are grown and I am proud of them. They are wonderful, self sufficient, and kind.  I met the love of my life and married him. I am internationally collected, exhibited by top galleries, and living the dream come true. Then, unexpectedly and in the weirdest way, I threw my back out permanently. My studio days are numbered, my income is dropping, and all of a sudden I’m writing. I released Shaping Destiny last year. It is the story of how I found my voice as an artist.  Having just released my second book, Pipe Dreams, I am reminded of that first journey. Like then, I’m facing a road that is long and hard, but I trust it will be infinitely rewarding. I can do this. I can face my fears and conquer my misgivings. That little voice is whispering again. “Now or never, girl,” it says. The difference this time is that I know who I am, what I can do, and have a family who understands and supports my process. Because I believe in myself they do, too.

Click on cover to get to Amazon page

DESTINY ALLISON: Destiny Allison is an award winning sculptor, businesswoman, and community builder, but writing was her first love. Last year, she published Shaping Destiny: A quest for meaning in art and life. The non-fiction work was recently awarded 1st place for non-fiction/memoir in the 2013 Lucky Cinda Global Book Contest.

Pipe Dreams is her fiction debut and other fictional works are soon to follow. Allison believes that our lives are our greatest works of art and that we have to be who and what we are, not who and what we’re supposed to be. This theme is reflected in her written works, sculptures, and business endeavors. Allison lives in Santa Fe, NM with her husband and dogs, alternately missing and celebrating her three grown sons.

Pipe Dreams on Amazon

Artwork: http:/www.DestinyAllison.com

Twitter: @sfcsculptor

 SONIA MARSH SAYS: Destiny, I truly admire how you were able to turn your love for sculpting into a profitable business, and how you found a way to juggle your business and home life with three kids, as a single mother. Now you’ve switched to another creative outlet: writing, and from your strength, talent and determination, I’m sure this will be another successful part of your life to celebrate.

(Destiny Allison is on a blog tour with WOW! Women on Writing. I requested she write a “My Gutsy Story®” which she accepted.)

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Be Inspired to ‘Bring Out the Gutsy in You’

 Click here for Special Event News

Are you ready to take the next gutsy step in your life? I’m hosting an event in Orange County on Sept. 26 that will inspire you to act on that dream you’ve been holding inside.

This event is free, and you’re invited.

Click here to reserve your seat today.

Name and e-mail required.

 

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Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get  published in our 2nd anthology?

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Our July stories have started with Liz Burgess  and Sharon Leaf, Patti Hall all sharing her “My Gutsy Story®.”

VOTING for your favorite July “My Gutsy Story®” starts on August 1st-14th. The WINNER will be announced on August 15th.

“Bring Out the Gutsy in You” with Marybeth Bond

Marybeth Bond, “Gutsy Traveler.”

Be Inspired to ‘Bring Out the Gutsy in You’

Are you ready to take the next gutsy step in your life? I’m hosting an event in Orange County on Sept. 26 that will inspire you to act on that dream you’ve been holding inside.

I’m thrilled that author and intrepid traveler Marybeth Bond has agreed to be my keynote speaker for this launch party, which will introduce the My Gutsy Story® Anthology – the first book in the “Gutsy Anthology” series.

Marybeth Bond is a National Geographic author, contributor to LA Times, USA Today, PBS, CNN and guest on Oprah.

This event is free, and you’re invited.

Click here to reserve your seat today.

Name and e-mail required.

When: September 26, 2013.

Where: Regency South Coast Village 3, 1561 W. Sunflower Avenue, Santa Ana, Calif. (MAP)

Time: 6 to 9 p.m. (Photos of where we shall be here.)

There is no charge for the event, whose theme is “Bring Out the Gutsy in You.” I hope attendees will be inspired to step out of their comfort zone, take risks and follow their passion.

Marybeth, known as “The Gutsy Traveler,” is the author of 12 National Geographic travel books, including two Gutsy Women books. She’s traveled to more than 100 countries. Two summers ago, she biked 3,115 miles across the United States with her 22-year-old daughter and raised $52,000 for women’s osteoporosis research. Marybeth’s goal is to encourage women to step out of their comfort zones and travel beyond the group tour.

You’ll also hear from a panel of authors featured in the My Gutsy Story® Anthology.

Moderator: Marla Miller, Author and founder of The Marketing Muse workshops             

Sonia Marsh: Award-winning author and founder of the My Gutsy Story® series.
Linda Joy Myers: President of the National Association of Memoir Writers and co-president of the Women’s National Book Association, SF.
Jason Matthews: Hosts a weekly Indie Authors Google+ Hangout, and is an e-publishing expert.

Marla Miller, will serve as moderator, asking questions about how to make “gutsy” happen. I’ll be one of the panelists, along with Linda Joy Myers, and Jason Matthews.

A percentage of the proceeds from book sales will go to WomanSage, which provides opportunities, experience and education to enhance and empower all women.

Click on Book Cover to Reserve Your Seat Today

(Name and e-mail required)

Click on book and fill out name to reserve your seat.

The goal of the My Gutsy Story® Anthology series is to build a safe community aimed at helping one another overcome life’s challenges, encourage adventure and grow stronger with the knowledge that there are always options in life.

Do you live in Orange County, Los Angeles or San Diego area?
Do you know someone “Gutsy” in your community that  you’d like to nominate?

If so, please e-mail us at: gutsyanthology@gmail.com and write “MY NOMINATION” in the subject line. Please write no more than 100 words as to why you nominate this person, what they’ve done that’s Gutsy and why you believe they deserve to win.

We shall select 3 people based on your nominations, and mention them at the “Bring Out the Gutsy in You” event on 9-26-13.

Look forward to seeing you on September 26th. Please share with all your friends on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and in person.

Comments and questions ARE ALWAYS appreciated.

 

“My Gutsy Story®” Patti Hall

Runaway Writer Found on Beach, Heart Broken, but Alive!

One of the best moves I’ve ever made was to run away from home when I was almost fifty-one years-old. Once I made the move, my life changed. I did meet a small new circle of friends, but the biggest change was in my writing life.

It had been over 10 years since I was actively writing online. Back then I was writing for online magazines, a weekly column on the now defunct “She’s Got” network, and I ran a site for young writers. I wrote children’s stories, poetry, and a novel, while plotting my moves to publish them all. Then life took another swing at me and my writing life was back to just me and my journal, which satisfied me for a time.

In 2008 a personal tragedy brought writing back into my life; I wrote online updates to friends and family about my husband’s fight with leukemia. I wrote from Paul’s hospital bedside and from the desk at our temporary housing near the hospital and clinic. I wrote about our thoughts and feelings, about the latest medicines, and their cruel side effects. I tried to keep positive and I tried to make our weird humor an ingredient of my updates. Amazingly to me, I kept getting comments on my updates like, “I hope you’re saving this for a book,” and “This is going in the book isn’t it,” and “You have to write a book to help others through what you and Paul have been through.”

Patti Hall and Paul

Almost a year from the day he was diagnosed, Paul passed away at home in our bed. Even stunned by his death though, I missed writing those updates. A few weeks later I began an email journal of my painful progress through nightmare estate issues and my stunted grief process. My email journal went out (and still does) to our same circle from the leukemia updates, with pictures, poetry, and reader comments. My audience continues to laugh, cry and cheer for me.

It was six months after Paul’s death that I ran away from home. Our home was home no more; it was a torn shell that had once been the comfortable shelter of our love. Home was now held hostage in a gripping tug-of-war between lawyers and heirs. All I could focus on during those first six months was Paul and my driving need to be near the ocean; a need that pulled me like the moon tugs at the tides. Some of our most fun and soothing times had been spent walking sandy shores.

During those six months before I ran away, I thought of other times that I had found sanctuary on the beach. As a young divorced mother, I had often bundled up my nursing son and my toddler-daughter and made excursions to a friend’s beach cottage, or to the sands of Ocean Shores Washington. I recalled treasured memories of Huntington Beach California, with my beautiful red-headed sister and our young families.

As beach memories crowded my thoughts, automatic pilot (that self-protective part of me) managed the details of the next episode of my life. Without that autopilot, I could never have abandoned our home; that sacred place of “us.” Autopilot shielded me from sinking into fear and served up a pair of wings for my flight to the beach.

Maggie’s as safe as the closet that our dog, Jake, snuggled into during fireworks or storms (and she’s not much bigger than that closet!). Maggie is a travel trailer who beats her chest with happiness when salty winds batter her metal skin. She sings along with the chimes I hang, and apologizes unceasingly when her plumbing proves imperfect. Maggie is home, and only a short walk to the beach.

Once settled into my new life, the addiction began. I dug out old work. I produced new work. I started writing under my maiden name, which I had not used since 1977. The solitary writer’s life I led now had little resemblance to any of the former lives I’d led the past 36 years, so a new (old) name made perfect sense to me.

I polished a children’s book written for my children when they were young, and then I wrote a 4000-word story based on my granddaughters. I pulled out a series of poem-stories that I wrote years ago; I had drawn little booklet covers and attached the poem-stories to whimsical creatures that my girlfriend made for sale.

I spent hours researching and educating myself on writing and publishing in this new modern world. I joined a local writer’s class in the arts center and an online memoir class. I began attending a local writing group at my library. There, I presented a new story I was writing based on the superhero flights of fancy of one of my grandsons, but written for all three of them.

More research. I followed a course online on building a writer’s platform. I made my website to blog my future readers. I joined Twitter and Facebook. I passed the initiation and became a member of several online writing groups. I was writing new material every day and blogging most of it. The feedback was encouraging, more than encouraging, as several professional and/or published writers were insisting I publish my work. I was on a roll.

I’m still on that roll. I’ve had two other very close deaths recently that almost stopped me in my tracks again. The grief is overwhelming, but what I can do is write. I can write of the cold dark hours and long, never-ending days of my grief. I can even write and photograph the joyful minutes that I allow myself to see and feel the miracles of nature; the raging waves reaching for the shore, the dancing birds on the sand who rejoice in flight, the moss-covered shack I capture being swallowed by vegetation. I’m at my beach and I’m writing a memoir. I’m alive and I’m hopeful.

PATTI HALL is currently working on her memoir series, Souvenirs from My Heart, about love, illness and loss.

During the 90’s Patti wrote online articles and a weekly column for a now defunct network. Her site, Rising Writers, for aspiring young writers was voted Top 101 Writers Web Site in Writer’s Digest for 2000. She wrote poetry and essays, an anthology of women’s writing, newsletters, and edited her college newspaper.

Patti lives near the beach and enjoys her solitude. She spends her time walking on the beach, writing, reading, taking photos, gardening, traveling and genealogy.  Visit Patti at www.1writeplace.com

Follow Patti on  Twitter @PattiHallWrite, and on Facebook.

SONIA MARSH SAYS: Your story is so beautiful, and I felt such strength within you to focus on your passion to write while overcoming the loss of your husband.

 

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get  published in our 2nd anthology?

Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Our July stories have started with Liz Burgess  and Sharon Leaf, both sharing her “My Gutsy Story®.”

Don’t miss Thursday’s post on SURPRISE KEYNOTE SPEAKER for “My Gutsy Story® event on September 26th, 2013.

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Click here for latest news
ANTHOLOGY PRESS RELEASE

Next Monday, come back to read Destiny Allison’s My Gutsy Story®.

 

Winner of the June 2013 “My Gutsy Story®” Contest

I am thrilled to announce Penelope James as the first winner of the start of Anthology # 2 in the  “My Gutsy Story®” Anthology series.

Penelope James Winner

Congratulations to Penelope and her inspiring “My Gutsy Story®” about how she overcame job loss, financial struggles, health problems and moved on.

 

2nd Place Dixie Diamanti

Dixie Diamanti also deserves recognition for her courage in sharing her story of how she broke the “secret” of incest within her family.

3rd Place Jennifer Richardson

 Jennifer Richardson  shares her honest account of not giving into the pressures of becoming a mother.

Mary Hamer

And Mary Hamer had a wonderful “My Gutsy Story®” of how she escaped her career and followed her passion.

 

Do you have a “My Gutsy Story®” you’d like to share?

Would you like to submit your “My Gutsy Story®” and get  published in our 2nd anthology?

Please see guidelines below and contact Sonia Marsh at: sonia@soniamarsh.com for details.

You can find all the information, and our new sponsors on the “My Gutsy Story®” contest page. (VIDEO) Submission guidelines here

Our July stories have started with Liz Burgess  and Sharon Leaf, both sharing her “My Gutsy Story®.”

 ***

Click here for latest news
ANTHOLOGY PRESS RELEASE

Next Monday, come back to read Patti Hall’s My Gutsy Story®.