silentauror's Blog, page 72
January 8, 2021
We’re Ready: a post for #kidlitwomen
I was presenting an assembly for kids grades 3-8 while on book tour for the third PRINCESS ACADEMY book.
Me: “So many teachers have told me the same thing. They say, ‘When I told my students we were reading a book called PRINCESS ACADEMY, the girls said—’”
I gesture to the kids and wait. They anticipate what I’m expecting, and in unison, the girls scream, “YAY!”
Me: “'And the boys said—”
I gesture and wait. The boys know just what to do. They always do, no matter their age or the state they live in.
In unison, the boys shout, “BOOOOO!”
Me: “And then the teachers tell me that after reading the book, the boys like it as much or sometimes even more than the girls do.”
Audible gasp. They weren’t expecting that.
Me: “So it’s not the story itself boys don’t like, it’s what?”
The kids shout, “The name! The title!”
Me: “And why don’t they like the title?”
As usual, kids call out, “Princess!”
But this time, a smallish 3rd grade boy on the first row, who I find out later is named Logan, shouts at me, “Because it’s GIRLY!”
The way Logan said “girly"…so much hatred from someone so small. So much distain. This is my 200-300th assembly, I’ve asked these same questions dozens of times with the same answers, but the way he says “girly” literally makes me take a step back. I am briefly speechless, chilled by his hostility.
Then I pull it together and continue as I usually do.
“Boys, I have to ask you a question. Why are you so afraid of princesses? Did a princess steal your dog? Did a princess kidnap your parents? Does a princess live under your bed and sneak out at night to try to suck your eyeballs out of your skull?”
The kids laugh and shout “No!” and laugh some more. We talk about how girls get to read any book they want but some people try to tell boys that they can only read half the books. I say that this isn’t fair. I can see that they’re thinking about it in their own way.
But little Logan is skeptical. He’s sure he knows why boys won’t read a book about a princess. Because a princess is a girl—a girl to the extreme. And girls are bad. Shameful. A boy should be embarrassed to read a book about a girl. To care about a girl. To empathize with a girl.
Where did Logan learn that? What does believing that do to him? And how will that belief affect all the girls and women he will deal with for the rest of his life?
At the end of my presentation, I read aloud the first few chapters of THE PRINCESS IN BLACK. After, Logan was the only boy who stayed behind while I signed books. He didn’t have a book for me to sign, he had a question, but he didn’t want to ask me in front of others. He waited till everyone but a couple of adults had left. Then, trembling with nervousness, he whispered in my ear, “Do you have a copy of that black princess book?”
He wanted to know what happened next in her story. But he was ashamed to want to know.
Who did this to him? How will this affect how he feels about himself? How will this affect how he treats fellow humans his entire life?
We already know that misogyny is toxic and damaging to women and girls, but often we assume it doesn’t harm boys or men a lick. We think we’re asking them to go against their best interest in the name of fairness or love. But that hatred, that animosity, that fear in little Logan, that isn’t in his best interest. The oppressor is always damaged by believing and treating others as less than fully human. Always. Nobody wins. Everybody loses.
We humans have a peculiar tendency to assume either/or scenarios despite all logic. Obviously it’s NOT “either men matter OR women do.” It’s NOT “we can give boys books about boys OR books about girls.” It’s NOT “men are important to this industry OR women are.“
It’s not either/or. It’s AND.
We can celebrate boys AND girls. We can read about boys AND girls. We can listen to women AND men. We can honor and respect women AND men. And And And. I know this seems obvious and simplistic, but how often have you assumed that a boy reader would only read a book about boys? I have. Have you preselected books for a boy and only offered him books about boys? I’ve done that in the past. And if not, I’ve caught myself and others kind of apologizing about it. "I think you’ll enjoy this book EVEN THOUGH it’s about a girl!” They hear that even though. They know what we mean. And they absorb it as truth.
I met little Logan at the same assembly where I noticed that all the 7th and 8th graders were girls. Later, a teacher told me that the administration only invited the middle school girls to my assembly. Because I’m a woman. I asked, and when they’d had a male author, all the kids were invited. Again reinforcing the falsehood that what men say is universally important but what women say only applies to girls.
One 8th grade boy was a big fan of one of my books and had wanted to come, so the teacher had gotten special permission for him to attend, but by then he was too embarrassed. Ashamed to want to hear a woman speak. Ashamed to care about the thoughts of a girl.
A few days later, I tweeted about how the school didn’t invite the middle school boys. And to my surprise, twitter responded. Twitter was outraged. I was blown away. I’ve been talking about these issues for over a decade, and to be honest, after a while you feel like no one cares.
But for whatever reason, this time people were ready. I wrote a post explaining what happened, and tens of thousands of people read it. National media outlets interviewed me. People who hadn’t thought about gendered reading before were talking, comparing notes, questioning what had seemed normal. Finally, finally, finally.
And that’s the other thing that stood out to me about Logan—he was so ready to change. Eager for it. So open that he’d started the hour expressing disgust at all things “girly” and ended it by whispering an anxious hope to be a part of that story after all.
The girls are ready. Boy howdy, we’ve been ready for a painful long time. But the boys, they’re ready too. Are you?
I’ve spoken with many groups about gendered reading in the last few years. Here are some things that I hear:
A librarian, introducing me before my presentation: “Girls, you’re in for a real treat. You’re going to love Shannon Hale’s books. Boys, I expect you to behave anyway.”
A book festival committee member: “Last week we met to choose a keynote speaker for next year. I suggested you, but another member said, ‘What about the boys?’ so we chose a male author instead.”
A parent: “My son read your book and he ACTUALLY liked it!”
A teacher: “I never noticed before, but for read aloud I tend to choose books about boys because I assume those are the only books the boys will like.”
A mom: “My son asked me to read him The Princess in Black, and I said, ‘No, that’s for your sister,’ without even thinking about it.”
A bookseller: “I’ve stopped asking people if they’re shopping for a boy or a girl and instead asking them what kind of story the child likes.”
Like the bookseller, when I do signings, I frequently ask each kid, “What kind of books do you like?” I hear what you’d expect: funny books, adventure stories, fantasy, graphic novels. I’ve never, ever, EVER had a kid say, “I only like books about boys.” Adults are the ones with the weird bias. We’re the ones with the hangups, because we were raised to believe thinking that way is normal. And we pass it along to the kids in sometimes overt (“Put that back! That’s a girl book!”) but usually in subtle ways we barely notice ourselves.
But we are ready now. We’re ready to notice and to analyze. We’re ready to be thoughtful. We’re ready for change. The girls are ready, the boys are ready, the non-binary kids are ready. The parents, librarians, booksellers, authors, readers are ready. Time’s up. Let’s make a change.
onehandedly:tombliboos:it’s so funny that after years of “stormtrooper merch breeds...
it’s so funny that after years of “stormtrooper merch breeds fascists” and “bad boy romance creates right-wing militias” the guys who stormed capitol hill were dressed as captain america and thor with a mandalorian helmet
That is utterly unsurprising.
As a woman from Rome that is into Tolkien I knew ever since my childhood that one of our neofascist groups told its member that they were like Faramir.
And that pissed me off to no end.
Still, it made sense. Fanatics are not interested in gray characters or villains: they want to be the faultless, blameless hero who triumphs in the end.
They do not want to question and a narrative that questions them is disturbing to their very worldview.
This is just another rebranding of taking anything and using it as the face of whatever fascism you’re promoting. There are no real Christians and no real Muslims who are fascists. There are just fascists using the names of religions as a weapon of hatred and terror. Captain America is not about insurrection and would never have disrespected Nancy Pelosi’s office and stolen her mail. Islam is not about terrorism. Christianity is not a hate group. This is just about assholes in whatever place and time using whatever facade they think will give their pathetic cause a boost of legitimacy, becaus they know that without it they’ll just be seen as the weak little worms they are and that their “cause” isn’t a cause, has no integrity, and has nothing to do with societal-level issues.
They won’t but yeah
They won’t but yeah
thelostsmiles:Benedict Cumberbatch as Louis WainAhh what a silly moustache! Still, my love for this...
Benedict Cumberbatch as Louis Wain
Ahh what a silly moustache! Still, my love for this man is undimmed
phoenixonwheels:phoenixonwheels:phoenixonwheels:phoenixonwheels:phoenixonwheels:phoenixonwheels:Domes...
Domestic terrorist masterpostMasterpost of identified insurrectionists who participated in the violent attempted overthrow/coup of the US government on 7 January 2021.
Richard “Bigo” Barnett of Gravette, Arkansas, who broke into the Capitol and stole mail from Speaker Pelosi’s desk.
Jon Schaffer from heavy metal band Iced Earth under record label Century Media Records.
Known Nazi Matthew Heimbach.
Nicholas Rodean of Frederick, Maryland.
Photos and IDs courtesy of @HomeGrownTerrorists on Instagram.
Emily Lewis of Dayton, Ohio, now fired from her job at Taylor Communications.
Adam Johnson of Palmetto, Florida, seen here stealing a podium during the violent invasion of the Capitol Building. His wife is Dr. Suzanne Johnson at Davita Medical in Palmetto, Florida.
Pro wrestler James DeFalco aka “Jimmy Jact Cash”. Seen in the news previously for defrauding members of his now-bankrupt gyms of hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Derrick Evans recently elected to West Virginia’s House of Delegates. It takes a special kind of domestic terrorist to try to overthrow the federal government while holding an elected position.
Jenna Ryan a realtor in Frisco, Texas. Are you allowed to hold a realtor’s license when you’ve committed a federal crime? I definitely wouldn’t want her having keys to my house.
Elizabeth Koch from Maryville, Tennessee. Props for outing yourself for federal crimes on national television. Double props for rubbing your eyes with an onion on camera and claiming you got maced.
Paul Davis former Associate General Counsel and Director of HR for Goosehead Insurance Company who fired him for domestic terrorism - and probably also gross incompetence. What kind of lawyer does a media interview while committing a federal crime? I’m guessing the State Bar of Texas is going to disbar him as well but we’re still waiting on that news.
Kristopher Drew licensed cosmetologist at Hair by Kristopher Drew. I’m not sure whether you’re allowed to be a cosmetologist and have a criminal record at the same time but I guess we’re about to find out.
Aaron Mostofsky son of Kings County Supreme Court Judge Steven (Shlomo) Mostofsky. Per the Jewish Telegraphic Agency, “Mostofsky’s brother Nachman, the executive director of Chovevei Zion, a politically conservative Orthodox advocacy organization, as well as a Brooklyn district leader and vice president of the South Brooklyn Conservative Club, also attended the rally Wednesday but did not enter the Capitol.”
Josiah Colt domestic terrorist and owner of FunnelCraft Co. in Boise, Idaho.
On the left is Nick DeCarlo from Murder the Media and on the right is Nick Ochs, Nazi and member of the Proud Boys. This pair of domestic terrorists posed for a photo inside the Capitol Building during their violent insurrection against the US Government.
Zach Crandall who outed himself for federal crimes.
Eduardo “Nick” Alvear seen here smoking pot inside the Capitol Building because why commit just one federal crime when you can commit two at once and document them both on film at the same time amiright.
Ben Thomas Crocker of Massachusetts. Apparently sedition and participating in a violent coup attempt makes you a “Maverick” these days.
Jenny Cudd founder of Becky’s Flowers in Midland, Texas. Yes this domestic terrorist and white supremacist called herself out as a Becky. Even if you’re fine doing business with seditionists (I’m not) I wouldn’t recommend booking her for your next special event unless it’s five to ten years out.
Dean Gomez, sales manager at Kevin Harris Allstate Agency, who was part of the attempted coup and tried really hard to break in to a federal building but didn’t quite manage it. Is your presence at a violent insurrection and intention to overthrow the federal government enough to land you in prison? I guess we’ll find out.
Jason Alexander (yes that Jason Alexander), domestic terrorist. #FreeBritney but Jason Alexander belongs in prison for federal crimes.
Matt Blesdoe, owner of Primetime Movers in Memphis, Tennessee, father, husband, Christian, wife beater and at the vanguard of the group that invaded the Capitol Building in an attempt to overthrow the federal government.
John Strand, model, represented by Wilhelmina Models. He’s worked on many campaigns including Mr. Turk, Baskit Wear, AT&T, Zegna, will.i.am, Lisa Vanderpump, Uniqlo, Nicki Minaj and Samsung. And now he’s a domestic terrorist who participated in the attempted overthrow of the US government.
January 7, 2021
polarcell:
I know I am not the first one to talk about this by any means, but every time I think...
I know I am not the first one to talk about this by any means, but every time I think about it, I need to take a moment to really stop and feel and remind myself that it is real. Joe and Nicky being a couple in canon is not only everything I as an individual (with a very particular taste for old flirty devoted warrior husbands) have ever wanted, but they are also genuinely truly revolutionary from a representational standpoint.
They are gay, openly and shamelessly, without pretence or irony. They are not a joke to each other nor are they framed as one in the movie. Their gayness is presented as something that is normalised within their family, their love a subject of envy to the other characters. Of the four older immortals, they narratively represent the happy side of immortality, love, energy, a life that is not soured by loss and bitterness because they are able to be there for each other, unlike Booker and Andy. In that way they could be read as a representation of the power of romantic love in general, yet their gayness is not incidental to the narrative either. The great big love confession happens in a van full of men so deeply fragile in their masculinity that to them, suggesting a romantic attachment between the two of them is a hilarious joke. In that moment, with Joe’s speech, the movie does not make just the “love is love” case for how beautiful romantic love is in general, but specifically how beautiful their romantic love is, and how important. Their gayness, the fact that they are two men is not an accident or an afterthought, it is not incidental or unimportant to the movie or the narrative. Their specific love story, where and how they started, what makes it so epic and fairytale-like could only really happen between two men who love other men. That is… well it is something I cannot think of any mainstream blockbuster movie ever having done before, and as a queer woman, it makes me incredibly happy to see unashamed gayness represented as something that beautiful
If that was not enough, they are also such well written characters individually. I have joked with some people that this is a fandom where easily the canon is actually more interesting than the fanon! They’re both powerful, incredibly capable warriors who are extremely intimidating in action, who joke, who brandish scary weapons with ease, who snap necks without blinking. This is pretty standard for action movie men. However, what is NOT standard is that at the same time they’re both in touch with their emotions, open with their love and affection, openly vulnerable and soft, completely unselfconscious and secure in themselves and their love. Both protective of each other and their family, both dedicated to helping people. And on top of that, they’re both distinct individuals with their own quirks and habits and personalities. Joe with his easy affection, interest in art, passionate personality, open joy and humour. Nicky with his steady dedicated kindness, matter of fact practicality, quiet confidence and strong sense of purpose. They’re both fantastic examples of non-toxic masculinity that is again, very rare to see on the big screen. This is not even going into how truly revolutionary they are as a couple because of their ethnic and religious backgrounds as well, which is a huge part of this equation too! The layers to what make them exceptional go deep!
And all of this is canon! Hell most of this is stuff someone vocalises in the film itself. I did not have to create meanings where there were none, this is all the intended reading! Never before have I been a fan of characters from a movie like this, where what makes them the most interesting is genuinely explored and expanded IN the movie, and even stuff that is not fully explored (like their meeting) is not something vague that the fandom has to invent a meaning or implications for, but an important part of who they are and what they mean as characters. It just STILL floors me when i think about it.
so-damn-confused:
londoncallingsigh:Sherlock’s first time...
Sherlock’s first time making John smile after his return.
My heart always melts, because John didn’t say “normal” implying Sherlock is not normal. He chose ordinary, making Sherlock extraordinary.
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