Dave Barry's Blog, page 3814

ATTENTION, FEMALE DELL CUSTOMERS

Mind your jubblies.

Original story here.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

BECAUSE THE NEXT STEP IS HEROIN

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

SPORTS UPDATE

This just in.

(Thanks to Bob Harris)

Vaguely Related Update: They're urging Wang Wang and Funi to reproduce Down Under.

(Thanks to nursecindy)

ATTENTION, MALE JOBSEEKERS

(Thanks to -- it goes without saying -- Siouxie)

REALLY BAD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND

Wedged Testicle

("Thanks" to Siouxie and Jeff Meyerson, who we assume has testicles and therefore should know better)

AHOY THERE

Two British women attempting a world record by rowing across the
Atlantic say they hope to shave a few days off the trip by completing
the feat naked.

(Thanks to CJrun)

AND HER CLIENT WAS NAMED JOHN

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Vaguely related sports-themed update here.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

IF THAT DOESN'T WIN HER HEART, NOTHING WILL

Police on Friday arrested a truck driver Friday on suspicion of
property damage after he allegedly urinated on a towel at the entrance
of the apartment belonging to a woman he liked.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

BOFFIN UPDATE

A major breakthrough.

(Thanks to jon harris)

ATTENTION, OFFICE WORKERS

You need more paper.

(Thanks to chicomathmom)