Dave Barry's Blog, page 169

ALWAYS A SOUND LEGAL STRATEGY

Suspect drunk driver urinates on patrol car while under arrest

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

CORONATION DAY

A salute to the king.

Please note that we are not making fun of the byline.

(Thanks to Rick Day, Alkali Bill, Emily, Leslie and w and John Lobert)

STAY CLASSY, FLORIDA FATHER

Florida father punches 63-year old umpire at son���s high school game

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

BECAUSE THEY CAN

Why do French men pee on the street?

(Thanks to B&C)

DIDN'T WE SEE THIS ON THE SOPRANOS?

Hundreds of pounds of cooked pasta mysteriously dumped in New Jersey woods

(Thanks to B&C, Jay Brandes and John Lobert)

ATTENTION, OREGON HIGHWAY DEPARTMENT

Rotting 5,000st whale left on UK beach as authorities consider chopping up carcass

(Thanks to Allen at Division and Wmily, Leslie and w)

(A "st" is a unit of weight equal to Darth Vader)

HE'S FROM FLORIDA

Man caught using fake baby in stroller to shoplift in Madisonville

(Thanks to Bill Carver)

The fake baby was released after producing etc.

ASTEROID MEASUREMENT-UNIT UPDATE

Asteroid the size of 6 Darth Vaders to pass Earth

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

A REALLY SMART ONE WOULD LOWER ITSELF AFTER MEN USE THE LOO

FDA Clears Smart Toilet Seat for Heart Health Monitoring

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

WE DO *NOT* WANT TO PARTY WITH AI

TERRIFYING AI-GENERATED BEER COMMERCIAL WILL SCARE THE HELL OUT OF YOU

(Thanks to The Perts)