Dave Barry's Blog, page 162

FYI

They come out at night to have sex on your face.

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

WE ARE SHOCKED, SHOCKED

'Virtual Girlfriend' Chatbot Trained on Conversations With Men Starts Talking Mostly About Sex

(Thanks to P. Cynic)

COULD BE!

A woman was going for a walk when she happened to spot an unusual white figure on the British beach in the distance, which she believes could be otherworldly in nature

(Thanks to John Lobert)

TWO WORDS THAT YOU GENERALLY DO NOT THINK OF TOGETHER

Cinderella Toilet

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

JUST A BRISK WALK FOR US, THANKS

The Wildest Fitness Trend is Jumping Like a Bunny

(Thanks to Maryann)

CANADA: A NATION GRIPPED BY TERROR

Toronto man arrested for allegedly assaulting someone with a python

(Thanks to B&C, who say "Why assault someone just because they have a python?")

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, BLOG MOMS

Or as we say in Miami:

WHAT CHOICE DID HE HAVE?

Man allegedly steals car, crashes into Florida building while looking for internet connection

(Thanks to William Falzone, who says "In Florida, we have to have our wifi.  Someone forgot to tell this guy wifi is free at most restaurants.")

HERESY

AM radio is being removed from many cars

(Thanks to Steve K, who says "I'm keeping my garage locked.")

NOT EVEN CLOSE

The US States With The Worst Drivers, Ranked

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "Florida should demand a recount!")