Daniel Bailey's Blog, page 34

essay on pilgrimages

If I went on a pilgrimage it would be to an Arby's in Longmont, CO. I would go through the drive-thru and order everything on the menu in every possible size and with every different possible sauce and topping combination. I would sit in my car by the drive-thru window and eat until all the food is gone. While eating I would think about my life and all my great achievements and then I would pat myself on the back, much in the way that a mother pats a baby's back in order to force the baby to burp. I suspect that the burp would be powerful enough to kill me and everyone around me so before doing so I would make sure to say my last words, which would be something like "just kidding," because those would be awesome last words. The main reason I chose Longmont is because it is near mountains and those would make the pilgrimage seem much more noble when people tell my story after I'm dead. I realized once while driving by myself for approximately twenty hours that mountains aren't that big a deal. Basically, the appreciation of anything is based on arbitrary factors. For example, mountains are just big rock triangles. Nobody would say that a giant burlap triangle is something beautiful to behold and want to climb it. Why? Oh, I don't know, because mountains are natural? Who cares? You don't see people trying to climb babies and babies are natural too. If I were a mountain I would be a self-loathing mountain. I'd be like, "Fuck this. Stop climbing on me, people. Can't you see that you're not goats?" If I were a mountain I would spend all my energy trying to become a volcano so I could go wild on some mugs. I'd laugh at the screams. Then I would have this thought like, "what am I doing with my life?" And then I'd feel resigned to the fact that I'm a volcano and that volcanoes can't move, that my whole life would be played out as a volcano. I would do the volcano equivalent of closing my eyes and praying. I would pray for a beer.

rajon seinfeld

in case you weren't able to make it to last nights release party for paperbag #2, here is my reading.

paperbag 2 reading every day is my birthday from Daniel Bailey on Vimeo.

nfl logos

last night, my friend adam and i figured out what nfl team has the coolest logo. we used pictures on a glass that i own as models.



the top two teams that got cut off are the bears and the packers.

raiders win.

poems: dude, you're not even taking this seriously anymor...

poems: dude, you're not even taking this seriously anymore.
me: bitch, shut the fuck up before i delete you.

this friday, nyc

there is a reading for the new issue of paperbag this friday. i will be reading via video. you should attend and watch me read on a screen because nyc is too far away for me to attend. here are the details.

Time
Friday, January 21 · 7:00pm - 8:30pm

Location
Petes Candy Store
709 Lorimer Street
Brooklyn, NY

With performances by:

Bianca Stone
Gordon Massman
Jen Hyde
Ben Pease
Matvei Yankelevich
Jozeph Herceg
Tamiko Beyer
Michael Hilsman
Daniel Bailey

Special gift for early birds!


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i think the special gift will actually be a worm. grooooooooossssssss.

awp 2011

now that i've finally bought my plane tickets to awp i guess it's time to let people know about a couple readings.

first, on thursday, there's this one:



then on saturday, there's this one:

Time
Saturday, February 5 · 7:00pm - 9:00pm
Location The Black Squirrel (www.blacksquirreldc.com)
2427 18th Street NW
Washington, DC


SATURDAY SATURDAY SATURDAY!
JOIN US FOR A BONE-CRUSHING EVENING OF LITERARY MAYHEM!

Featuring:

AGNES FOX PRESS

MAGIC HELICOPTER PRESS

PARTHENON WEST REVIEW

SINK REVIEW

SMALL DESK PRESS


Readers include:

Lizzy Acker
Dan Bailey
Jason Bredle
Matthew Cooperman
Phil Cordelli
Russell Dillon
Jen Gann
Matt Hart
Matt Henriksen
Jeremy Hoevenaar
Hailey Higdon
Aby Kaupang
Amy McDaniel
Christie Ann Reynolds
Matt L. Rohrer
Chad Sweeney
Sarah Fran Wisby
Angela Veronica Wong
+ more to come!


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i don't know yet if i'll go to the actual conference. probably not since i don't want to spend a lot of money on books, and, quite frankly, the panels aren't worth it. but i'll be around doing whatever throughout the day and i'll be hitting some readings and probably that htmlgiant, etc. literature party on friday.

new drunk sonnet video

zachary whalen recorded a video of himself reading DRUNK SONNET 22 while drunk. he also read the note that i wrote him at the beginning of the book.

DRUNK SONNET 22 from Zachary Whalen on Vimeo.

booyah to zachary and his drunk-getting.

it has been added to the drunk sonnet video archive.

paper bag

i have new writings in the new issue of paper bag. here is the new issue.

top 10 movies i've watched in the last year

Werckmeister Harmonies (Bela Tarr, 2000)



Tropical Malady (Apichatpong Weerasethakul, 2004)



Paris, Texas (Wim Wenders, 1984)



A Woman Under the Influence (John Cassavetes, 1974)



Dancer in the Dark (Lars von Trier, 2000)



Waltz with Bashir (Ari Folman, 2008)



Read My Lips (Jacques Audiard, 2001)



The Day I Became a Woman (Marzieh Meshkini, 2000)



Trash Humpers (Harmony Korine, 2009)



The Five Obstructions (Lars von Trier, 2003)

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