Bathroom Readers' Institute's Blog, page 184
November 14, 2012
Smuggler Swallows 220 Diamonds
This story has one of the worst sentences ever said by anyone in the history of saying things. Ever.
Background:
South African police on Wednesday said they had caught a Lebanese man who swallowed 220 polished diamonds in an audacious bid to smuggle them from Johannesburg to Dubai.
Officers arrested the 25-year-old at Johannesburg’s international airport carrying the gems, worth an estimated $2.3 million.
“We nabbed him just before he went through the security checkpoint,” said Paul Ramaloko, spokesman of the South Africa elite police unit, the Hawks.
Ready for the worst sentence ever said by anyone in the history of saying things? Okay. We warned you:
“We had to take him through the X-ray and take them out from his body,” he told AFP.
How?…Which?…Wouldn’t they have…?…
No. No no no no no. WE DON’T WANT TO KNOW!
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Meet the BRI: Monica
In honor of our 25th anniversary, we think it might finally be time to introduce you to the people behind this amazing series. We will be posting brief interviews with each of the staff members throughout the month of November.
Today we introduce Monica:
Q. How long have you been with the BRI, and what do you do?
A. I’ve been working with the BRI team since early 2007, but begged to be listed on the thank you page since 2002. When I first started working in the publishing group I sat outside Joann’s office and used to give her random facts all the time hoping she would use them in a story and that I would get credit!
I’m the Sr. Product Manager and I work with the inventory which includes Budgeting, P&L’s, Purchase Orders, Logistics, Presentations, and Distribution to numerous customers. I’m also great with a tape gun since we pack and ship tons of books and mock ups for presentations, trade shows, and sales conferences. We recently hired a new Product Manager, Aaron Guzman, and I work closely with him daily to teach him everything I know about the BRI team. J
Q. What is your favorite part about working on Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers?
Product Development. I really enjoy the phone calls I have with Gordon, we like to bounce ideas off each other for cover designs, titles for new books, and new projects to help grow the business.
Q. Which stall is the best: the first, the middle or the last?
A. I’m going with the last stall, especially if you are tall. Smaller stalls normally don’t have a lot of leg room and I always end up banging my knee against the toilet paper holder.
Q. Complete this sentence: When life gives you lemons ______?
A. I eat them with salt.
November 13, 2012
Help Us Identify This Bug!
Hey, BRI fans: We need help identifying this beautiful, mantis-like little insect.
It was found as you see it: unfortunately expired in a tiny bit of wine in a glass left outside overnight. This was in Australia. Its body is just over an inch long.
Look at this beauty. (And you can really zoom in by clicking on the pic twice.)
It’s like a cross between a mantis and a dragonfly. Any ideas?
November 12, 2012
Video: This Will Blow Your Mind to Pieces
Not kidding: this will blow your mind to little bitty pieces of wo…
Meet the BRI: Kim
In honor of our 25th anniversary, we think it might finally be time to introduce you to the people behind this amazing series. We will be posting brief interviews with each of the staff members throughout the month of November.
Today we want you to meet, Kim!
Q. How long have you been with the BRI, and what do you do?
A. I joined the Bathroom Readers’ Institute in February, 2011, as Developmental Editor of new books for Uncle John’s For Kids Only line. I write, tell artists to draw things such as talking toilet paper rolls and fart fairies, ask writers to cut words I don’t like from their stories (“was” for example…that word gives me hives). Oh, and I surf the Internet looking for things that will make kids’ eyes pop out of their heads, like the fact that a snapping turtle can keep snapping for four days AFTER its head has been chopped off. (Note to kids: Don’t even think about trying that at home.)
Q. What is your favorite part about working on Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers?
A. I’m becoming highly educated. I now know which French king NEVER took a bath (Louis XIV), which U.S. president had the biggest feet (Abe Lincoln), and that if I fail miserably at this job, I can apply for a job as a raisin inspector, an ant-farm supplier, or a cat-food taster (Yum!).
Q. Which stall is the best: the first, the middle or the last?
A. The one that’s empty when I need it.
Q. Complete this sentence: When life gives you lemons ______?
A. When life gives you lemons…be sure to cut them open so that they squirt life right in the eye. (Unless life also gives you sugar, in which case, make lemonade, open a lemonade stand, and use the proceeds to buy a cinnamon latte.)
Q. What is your favorite Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader article ?
A. There are just too many I love. From my own writing, I’ve gotten the biggest charge out of the historical pieces, finding those odd bits of history my teachers somehow neglected to share in the classroom. It’s just my second year as a member of the illustrious BRI, so my favorites that I’ve researched and written are from the 24-K Gold and Fully Loaded. Uncle John himself has plenty to save about the 25th Anniversary book, so I’ll stick to 24-K Gold. “Ancient Sub-urbs” (p. 228) took me beneath the porous layers of stone that form a moonscape near Cappadocia, Turkey. That’s where I discovered an ancient underground “city” that could hold up to 60,000 people. (George Lucas shot the scenes for the Sand people’s home in the first Star Wars movie there.) It’s now on my list of places I really really wish I could visit.
November 10, 2012
Stall of Fame: Bathroom Built in Elevator Shaft – With See-Through Floor
Q: What would be the appopriate scary music for this room?
A: Bum bum…bum bum… (Get it? Bum bum? Get it? Yeah? Okay, sorry.)
That’s on the top, 15th floor of a building in Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico. Many more cool pics at the link.
November 9, 2012
Little League Baseball Blooper
Insult—that was no strike!—meet injury:
I know it’s wrong—but that has cracked me up all six times I’ve watched it. Bonk.
Seven…
Meet the BRI: Aaron and Annie
In honor of our 25th anniversary, we think it might finally be time to introduce you to the people behind this amazing series. We will be posting brief interviews with each of the staff members throughout the month of November.
Today we introduce you to two members, Aaron and Annie, who work on the product management side, including inventory and sales reporting.
Meet Aaron:
Q. How long have you been with the BRI, and what do you do?
A. Since June 2012. Product Manager. Sit on my throne and handle our inventory, add/edit our titles in our database, create presentations, and run sales reports.
Q. What is your favorite part about working on Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers?
A. Working with a great group of people. Learning new things in publishing. Seeing our books out in stores.
Q. Which stall is the best: the first, the middle or the last?
A. Save the best for LAST…I always found it to be the cleanest one and I need my privacy when nature calls. Also the grunting noise you hear is not as loud.
Meet Annie:
Q. How long have you been with the BRI, and what do you do?
A. I’ve been helping with UJ for about 2 years. I am the purchasing coordinator for the team and I would help out whenever needed.
Q. What is your favorite part about working on Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers?
A. This a great team and the fun stories that are shared.
Q. Which stall is the best: the first, the middle or the last?
A. I like the first… get in get out faster 
Q. Complete this sentence: When life gives you lemons ______?
A. Throw them back.
November 8, 2012
Wicked Writer Put-Downs
From our very latest, page 556 of Uncle John’s Fully Loaded 25th Anniversary Bathroom Reader. (Click on pic to en-huge-ify.)
Hey – that book’s on sale! WHAT A COINCIDENCE!
[walks off whistling...]
November 7, 2012
Meet the BRI: Trina
In honor of our 25th anniversary, we think it might finally be time to introduce you to the people behind this amazing series. We will be posting brief interviews with each of the staff members throughout the month of November.
Today we want you to meet Trina.
Q. How long have you been with the BRI, and what do you do?
A. I’ve been with the BRI for 9 months. My job is to do the technical part of book production, layout, artwork, ebooks, all that geeky behind the scenes stuff. I am also known to play the occasional practical joke, update the Facebook page, and am the one who brings in the baked goods as a treat.
Q. What is your favorite part about working on Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers?
A. At other jobs I hated meetings. At the BRI, I love the meetings because they are always funny, and even casual conversation can lead to ideas for a new book or article. Also, the fans of the series have been great, if people know the Bathroom Reader, they love the bathroom reader, and don’t mind sharing their enthusiasm and excitement for our product.
Q. Which stall is the best: the first, the middle or the last?
A. It used to be the last, but now it’s the first. Why? Because I read in an Uncle John’s that the first stall is the cleanest stall!
Q. Complete this sentence: When life gives you lemons ______?
A. When life gives you lemons complain to the management and demand a selection of
alternative citrus fruits. I’m partial to a nice tangelo myself.
