Bathroom Readers' Institute's Blog, page 181

NFL Draft Flops

For NFL Sunday, Week 15, from our very latest, Uncle John’s Fully Loaded 25th Anniversary Bathroom Reader (EBook versions can be found here):

NFL DRAFT FLOPS

Great athletic ability and a good college record will generally push players to the top of the NFL draft…but it’s no guarantee they’re going to be any good when they turn pro… 

JAMARCUS RUSSELL (2007)

Vital Stats: Louisiana State University had a great season in 2006, finishing ranked #4 and winning the Sugar Bowl. A major part of that success: quarterback JaMarcus Russell, who threw for 3,129 yards with 28 touchdowns.

Drafted! As a junior, he decided to skip his senior year to go directly into the NFL, and the Oakland Raiders took him at #1 in the 2007 draft. But he refused to play until he got the contract he wanted. He held out through training camp, the preseason, and into the regular season, when he agreed to $32 million.

Fumble! Top NFL quarterbacks routinely pass for 4,000 yards per season. Russell threw for 4,083 yards in his entire career, which lasted only three years. And when he did throw the ball to somebody who caught it, it was often to the wrong team—he had 31 turnovers and 23 interceptions in just 31 games. In early 2010, the Raiders released him. Later that year, he was arrested for illegal possession of codeine cough syrup, and Russell admitted he was addicted to it. He hasn’t played professional football since.

RYAN LEAF (1998)

Vital Stats: Leaf brought glory to Washington State University. He threw for nearly 4,000 yards and a Pac-10 conference-record 33 touchdowns. Under Leaf, WSU won its first-ever conference title and, its first Rose Bowl since 1931, and achieved a #9 ranking. Leaf finished third in Heisman Trophy voting and looked to have a stellar NFL career for whoever was lucky enough to draft him.

Drafted! The Indianapolis Colts had the #1 pick in the 1998 draft and invited prospects for interviews. Leaf skipped his. The Colts dropped him from consideration and drafted future superstar Peyton Manning. Leaf went #2, to the San Diego Chargers.

Fumble! In three years, he played in just 25 games, threw for 3,666 yards total (less than in his last year at WSU), and was intercepted 36 times. He was traded and played on practice squads for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Seattle Seahawks, but was finished by 2002. His last job in football was as an unpaid quarterbacks coach at tiny West Texas A&M from 2006 to 2008.

TONY MANDARICH (1989)

Vital Stats: Just prior to the draft, Sports Illustrated gushed over the Michigan State offensive tackle, putting the 6’6″, 315-pound offensive tackle on the cover, and calling him “The Incredible Bulk: the best offensive line prospect ever.”

Drafted! He was the #2 pick, and went to the Green Bay Packers.

Fumble! That year’s top five draft picks included four future Hall of Famers: Troy Aikman, Barry Sanders, Derrick Thomas, and Deion Sanders. But not Mandarich, who played in six seasons out of the next 10 years, and was sidelined from 1992 to ’94 with substance-abuse problems. Sports Illustrated atoned for its bad prediction with another cover story that called Mandarich “The Incredible Bust.”

ART SCHLICHTER (1982)

Vital Stats: Quarterback Schlichter was a Heisman Trophy finalist in three of his four years at Ohio State. He had a whopping 7,547 passing yards and threw 50 touchdowns, along with rushing for 1,303 yards and 35 rushing touchdowns.

Drafted! The Indianapolis Colts took him at #4 in the 1982 draft.

Fumble! At the end of training camp, Schlichter unexpectedly lost the starting job to fellow rookie Mike Pagel, leaving him as the backup QB with plenty of time to kill on the sidelines. Turns out Schlichter had a gambling problem. Rather than chart plays, as backup QBs are supposed to do, Schlichter called in bets on college and NFL games. When a players’ strike shortened the season, Schlichter had more time to gamble. (He estimates he lost $700,000 during the work stoppage.) When bookies threatened to expose him, he went to the FBI and the NFL, which suspended him for the entire 1983 season, fearing he might throw games he was playing in. The Colts released him five games into the 1985 season. After he was arrested for his involvement in an illegal gambling operation in 1987, NFL commissioner Pete Rozelle banned him from the league.

- Hey Beav! An EBook of that would make an easy and quick to give and a really swell Christmas present, wouldn’t it?

- Sure would, Wally!

UJ’s Fully Loaded 25th Anniversary BR NFL Bonus (page 111): In the 1890s, the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers football team was called the Bugeaters.

Not Related In Any Way to the Bathroom Reader But Hilarious Anyway Bonus: This.

• NFL logo pic from here.

Father Christmas, Give Me Some Money

In the early 1700s, American colonists had limited options when it came to money. There was no universal colonial currency, so they used European coins and bills. As the population in the New World swelled, colonies began minting their own forms of currency, but they didn’t replace European money in popularity, despite coin and bill shortages. So colonial banks came up with a solution by issuing their own paper money backed by land holdings or gold.

Despite the federal government’s attempts to standardize after the Revolutionary War, American banks continued to use their own, proprietary forms of money well into the 19th century. By 1860, around 8,000 banks in the United States had their own variations. During these wild years, known as the “Free Banking Era,” all sorts of strange coins and bills in various denominations were crafted. Many featured portraits of various local governmental or banking officials while others included images from folklore. But one man was featured on more bills during this period than any other: Santa Claus.

Jolly ol’ Saint Nick appeared on three-dollar bills issued by several financial institutions, including the Howard Company Bank in Boston. Another Massachusetts-based bank created a 20-dollar bill featuring Santa. (If you think about it, is this really any weirder than the one-eyed pyramid on the back of the one-dollar bill?)

Nowadays, these bills are hard to come by and fetch a pretty penny at auction, so you probably won’t see one in your Christmas stocking. But Santa has popped up on plenty of novelty bills in recent years, in denominations as high as a million dollars.

“Santa Dollars” also debuted in the mid-80s, the brainchild of Marketing Productions, a fundraising organization based in Florida. They’re genuine legal tender “enhanced” by pasting a removable image of Santa Claus over George Washington’s on real dollar bills. (That means the company makes novelty money, and sells it to organizations for real money in order to help them earn money!) The bills have proven popular enough to inspire similar ones featuring the Easter Bunny and cupid for Valentine’s Day.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Filmography

Director Peter Jackson’s $270 million adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit opens in American movie theaters tonight at midnight and you can’t throw a piece of lembas (sorry, Hobbit joke) without it hitting a Hobbit merchandise display or a Hobbit-themed menu at your local Denny’s.

While early reviews of the film have been mixed, it’s sure to be better received than previous adaptations. Here’s a primer on some lesser-known Hobbit adaptations.

The Hobbit was first published in 1937 and was a worldwide smash, but Tolkien held on to the movie adaptation rights until the ‘60s. Reason: He feared Disney might get ahold of them and he hated Disney’s films. Tolkien finally sold the rights to United Artists in 1969, around the same time that the Beatles approached Stanley Kubrick to direct them in a live-action version for UA. Each member of the band would play a character (John Lennon wanted to play Gollum). But Kubrick turned them down, and soon after, Tolkien rejected the Fab Four’s plan and killed the project entirely.

Meanwhile, Tolkien had actually approved an animated version in 1966. Director Gene Deitch planned on making a full-length cartoon of The Hobbit, but he didn’t have the budget. He was only able to complete 12 minutes. Which you can watch, here:

A decade passed before another studio would tackle the tome. Rankin/Bass, best known for stop-motion holiday specials such as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, made a full-length version that aired on NBC in 1977. A mainstay on home video for kids in the ‘80s, it was faithful to the source material and was nominated for several awards. Also, it was kind of creepy. Here’s a clip.

The final version of The Hobbit, before New Zealand director Peter Jackson made The Lord of the Rings series in the late ‘90s, came out of Finland in 1993. It aired on the Yle TV1 network. Here you go:

But perhaps the best known (and our favorite) Hobbit story on film is “The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins,” an early—and super-groovy—music video from 1967 performed by Leonard Nimoy.

The New Kurt Cobain: Paul McCartney

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I’ll take “Things that make you go ‘Hmm’” for $800, Alex:

Paul McCartney will fill the role of Kurt Cobain when he plays with the surviving members of Nirvana at the 12.12.12 concert for victims of Superstorm Sandy on Wednesday night.

The former Beatle will join Foo Fighters singer Dave Grohl and bassist Krist Novoselic on stage in New York to play a new song after secretly working with the pair.

A spokesman confirmed that Grohl recently asked McCartney to come along to “jam with some mates”.

After that news, please feel free to wash your brain out with this book. (It’s 30% off right now, just by the way.) There’s a digital version, too. Kindle here.

Mark Twain: On Film, 1909

There is something amazing – and a little creepy – about seeing Mark Twain on film. Paris Review:

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn was first published on December 10, 1884, in England. It remains one of the most-challenged American novels. In its honor, a 1909 Edison film of Mark Twain, taken at his home, Stormfield, in Connecticut.

Happy Birthday (yesterday, anyway), Huckleberry Finn. First edition cover:

Bonus Twain quote, from his 1897 travelogue, Following the Equator, and, more specifically, from the chapter epigraphs under the heading “Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar” and “The Pudd’nhead Maxims”:

THE PUDD’NHEAD MAXIMS

THESE WISDOMS ARE FOR THE LURING OF YOUTHTOWARD HIGH MORAL ALTITUDES. THE AUTHORDID NOT GATHER THEM FROM PRACTICE, BUTFROM OBSERVATION. TO BE GOOD IS NOBLE;BUT TO SHOW OTHERS HOW TO BE GOODIS NOBLER, AND NO TROUBLE. 

The quote (finally):

“Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side, which he never shows to anybody.”

Extra Bonus: Random found on the internet essay on Twain.

 

The “Oh Dear Lord It’s December WHAT?” E-Book Reminder Post

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What’s that? You just remembered that you have five more Christmas presents to buy for people you can hardly stand totally forgot about?

Don’t worry. We’ve got you covered.

It’s the Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader E-Book!

In just a few minutes, those presents are off your list and you can get back to your beer holiday cheer!

Just hit the “E-Books” tab on the top of the page (or hit that link).

There are more than 60 UJBR titles available in the E-Book format, including our latest, Uncle John’s Fully Loaded 25th Anniversary Bathroom Reader.

Just pick which type you want – Kindle, Nook, or iBook – and off you go.

Best part – they each make it incredibly easy to send the books as gifts.

Here’s a pic of the gift tool on Kindle page’s as an example. (We’ve added some visual indicators to make the gift tool easier to find.):

Find it? Okay, good.

You just have to know your giftee’s email address – and you can even select a delivery date. 

Here are some assistance links if you need it:

• Kindle gifting help page (Amazon)

• Nook help page (Barnes and Noble)

• iBook help page (iTunes)

Great Big Bathroom-Reading Bonus: Giving a family member or a friend an Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader makes them smarter. (Use as applicable…)

Birds-of-Paradise: Brand New Collection of Amazing Photos and Videos

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The Lesser Bird-of-Paradise:

Woo hoo! We just got permission to post a these amazing photographs from the photojournalist behind this National Geographic project himself - Tim Laman. (Thank you, sir!)

Just wow:

The Birds-of-Paradise Project reveals the astounding beauty of 39 of the most exquisitely specialized animals on earth. After 8 years and 18 expeditions to New Guinea and Australia, Cornell Lab scientist Ed Scholes and National Geographic photojournalist Tim Laman succeeded in capturing images of all 39 species in the bird-of-paradise family for the first time ever.

Gah. That’s what you call dedication to a dream.

More:

Wilson’s Bird-of-Paradise:

The King Bird-of-Paradise (magnificent butt-feathers view):

The Greater Bird-of-Paradise:

 

This is a superbly done trailer for the National Geographic television film on the project, “Winged Seduction – The Birds Of Paradise”:

One more video, this one focusing on the Great Bird-of-Paradise:

 

So good.

Once again: The photographs are here with permission from photojournalist Tim Laman. Thank you once again. (Tim’s blog and FaceBook page are definitely for the regular visit list.)

• The full Cornell University Birds-of-Paradise website launches very soon:

In late January 2013, our full Birds-of-Paradise website will launch with more than 50 videos offering detailed looks into the birds, the natural processes that gave shape to them, and the people that made it happen.

Awesome. (Sign up to get a notice about the full website launch!)

• Story found via Wired.com. Many more pics and videos there!

Reporter’s Eyewitness Account of Pearl Harbor Attack Finally Published (Today)

Credit: The Washington Post

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What a great story. (And a great story, too…)

By Elizabeth P. McIntosh

Special To The Washington Post

On Dec. 7, 1941, when Japanese planes attacked Pearl Harbor, I was working as a reporter for the Honolulu Star-Bulletin. After a week of war, I wrote a story directed at Hawaii’s women; I thought it would be useful for them to know what I had seen. It might help prepare them for what lay ahead. But my editors thought the graphic content would be too upsetting for readers and decided not to run my article. It appears here for the first time:

For seven ghastly, confused days, we have been at war. To the women of Hawaii, it has meant a total disruption of home life, a sudden acclimation to blackout nights, terrifying rumors, fear of the unknown as planes drone overhead and lorries shriek through the streets.

Much more at the link.

And the WaPo has a video story.

Uncle John’s 25th Anniversary Giveaway

Here at the BRI, we are thrilled to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the greatest trivia series ever published. It is true that we love trivia and have some interesting discussions around the office. When we can’t agree on an answer, things can get a bit heated. (Who saw the picture of the head in our fridge that we posted on our Facebook page? That may, or may not, have been a former co-worker.)

The one thing that we will always agree on is that without our fans (hey, that’s you!) we wouldn’t be experiencing such amazing success. So, we want to thank you all for being fans by having a super easy, and extremely rewarding giveaway.

Two lucky winners will get 2 tickets of their choice to one of the following events (as long as they are not sold out. Max value $500/pair tickets):

2 tickets to an NBA game of your choice
2 tickets to Rihanna (touring Mar 8 – May 5)
2 tickets to Pink (touring Feb 13 – Mar 28)
2 tickets to Taylor Swift (touring Mar 15 – Sept 21)
2 tickets to George Strait (touring Jan 18 – Jun 1)

Entering is EASY! Your only requirement is to sign up for our email newsletter. We promise not to spam you and always try our best to make our newsletter content interesting. If you are already on our email list, please make sure to enter the same email address that you did when initially signing up to ensure that you do not get duplicate content from us.

Fill out the form below before December 20, 2012 (11:59 PST). Winners will be picked and contacted in January 2013. Due to the complexity of contest rules in different countries, we are only able to open this giveaway up to US residents. Click for a complete set of rules.

Name:


Email:

 

Also, if you haven’t followed us on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or StumbleUpon, here is your chance. Click on each to get to our pages.

Yak

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Yak:

Yak.

(Boy, we sure talk a lot, don’t we? Yak yak yak…)