Ais's Blog, page 7
October 17, 2012
.
I should probably mention I won't be around much anymore on social media places. If you need me, you're better off looking for me at my livejournal, on AIM, or via email.
This may randomly change in the future, who knows. But if I don't answer you here, twitter or tumblr, I'm not ignoring you. I just don't see it.
This may randomly change in the future, who knows. But if I don't answer you here, twitter or tumblr, I'm not ignoring you. I just don't see it.
September 20, 2012
New story, unrelated to ICoS (TSP Anthology: Wanderlust)
So earlier this year I participated in another of The Slash Pile Anthologies. Our mission: write a story to do with travel, incorporating 4 randomly chosen tags. I got religion, student/teacher, agents, and originally had polyamory which I switched to friendship but some polyamory overtones remained.
I just recently saw that the anthology was released. You can find it here for perusal or download: http://the-slash-pile.livejournal.com...
The story I contributed is called Deliverance.
It's about a federal agent, Luke, who's following up on the possibility of anti-Muslim terroristic threats in Fiji. It has nothing to do with In the Company of Shadows.
I suck at summaries so have an excerpt:
--
Luke had grown accustomed to hearing many accents over the years and being able to place the origin of their speaker.
This time, there was no need to even rack his brain. He knew a hometown accent when he heard one.
American, just like him.
He tried to concentrate on the meaning of that simple piece of knowledge but the rolling of the room was a nauseating distraction.
“Why are we on a boat?”
“We are not. As I said, you were sedated.”
Luke pressed his fingers to his temple, as if the pressure would still the migraine.
“Well,” he commented. “You sure know how to treat a guy. Will there be a comment card before I leave? I have some suggestions.”
The man didn’t bother to respond. When the silence stretched between them, Luke squinted his eyes open to peer between parted fingers. Details began to solidify in his surroundings: the hard texture of the concrete; the bare, flickering light bulb on the ceiling; the man’s piercing blue eyes.
After that he focused on the man himself.
He looked to be in his late thirties or early forties and was tall, powerfully built, with a scar that arched down his temple and curled along his cheekbone like a lover’s touch. He wore a simple cotton shirt, as brilliant a white as his eyes were blue, with loose linen pants and worn sandals. His dark blond hair fell across his forehead, looking purposefully tousled. It was difficult to tell his height but Luke guessed he would be close to his own 6’2”. He looked lightly tanned.
Overall, the man appeared to be at once manicured and comfortable.
He was sitting backwards on a chair, his strong forearms resting on the back of the chair while he studied Luke. Nothing could be read in that even stare.
Luke dropped his hand at his side, trying to ignore the massive pounding of his head.
What the hell had they given him, horse tranquilizers?
He shoved the fall of his brown hair out of his eyes, wondering if he looked as artfully tousled as his captor did. He didn’t need a mirror to know the answer to that question: he didn’t.
“So,” Luke said conversationally when it became apparent the man wouldn’t speak. “Kidnap federal agents to stare at them often or am I just special?”
“Do you know the meaning of your name?” the man rumbled.
Luke’s eyebrows drew together. “What?”
--
I also contributed an art piece to it, called Ascendant. Here is a tiny preview:
You can find the full (huge) piece here:
http://mikaaislin.deviantart.com/art/...
It has mermaids and my version of an angel.
I just recently saw that the anthology was released. You can find it here for perusal or download: http://the-slash-pile.livejournal.com...
The story I contributed is called Deliverance.
It's about a federal agent, Luke, who's following up on the possibility of anti-Muslim terroristic threats in Fiji. It has nothing to do with In the Company of Shadows.
I suck at summaries so have an excerpt:
--
Luke had grown accustomed to hearing many accents over the years and being able to place the origin of their speaker.
This time, there was no need to even rack his brain. He knew a hometown accent when he heard one.
American, just like him.
He tried to concentrate on the meaning of that simple piece of knowledge but the rolling of the room was a nauseating distraction.
“Why are we on a boat?”
“We are not. As I said, you were sedated.”
Luke pressed his fingers to his temple, as if the pressure would still the migraine.
“Well,” he commented. “You sure know how to treat a guy. Will there be a comment card before I leave? I have some suggestions.”
The man didn’t bother to respond. When the silence stretched between them, Luke squinted his eyes open to peer between parted fingers. Details began to solidify in his surroundings: the hard texture of the concrete; the bare, flickering light bulb on the ceiling; the man’s piercing blue eyes.
After that he focused on the man himself.
He looked to be in his late thirties or early forties and was tall, powerfully built, with a scar that arched down his temple and curled along his cheekbone like a lover’s touch. He wore a simple cotton shirt, as brilliant a white as his eyes were blue, with loose linen pants and worn sandals. His dark blond hair fell across his forehead, looking purposefully tousled. It was difficult to tell his height but Luke guessed he would be close to his own 6’2”. He looked lightly tanned.
Overall, the man appeared to be at once manicured and comfortable.
He was sitting backwards on a chair, his strong forearms resting on the back of the chair while he studied Luke. Nothing could be read in that even stare.
Luke dropped his hand at his side, trying to ignore the massive pounding of his head.
What the hell had they given him, horse tranquilizers?
He shoved the fall of his brown hair out of his eyes, wondering if he looked as artfully tousled as his captor did. He didn’t need a mirror to know the answer to that question: he didn’t.
“So,” Luke said conversationally when it became apparent the man wouldn’t speak. “Kidnap federal agents to stare at them often or am I just special?”
“Do you know the meaning of your name?” the man rumbled.
Luke’s eyebrows drew together. “What?”
--
I also contributed an art piece to it, called Ascendant. Here is a tiny preview:
You can find the full (huge) piece here:
http://mikaaislin.deviantart.com/art/...
It has mermaids and my version of an angel.
September 13, 2012
AU sex scenes/poll...
I like how we're planning all these random AU porn scenes but the ones that might need to be worked on in book we're like "Bahhh I don't feel like writing this!"
Right now, I am putzing around not writing shit I should be writing...
We're going to end up doing a secondary poll in the near future, guys. We want to see what would be voted as top picks for the less "obvious" pairings. (Don't worry, the top 3 from this first poll will be written-- we're just curious to see what OTHER scenes people would want).
But this will mean there's at least one new addition to the mix: Doug. Possibly more. We're still in planning stages of pairings.
I'm talking about this poll btw in case you didn't see it: http://poll.fm/3vt7t
There's one we probably want to write no matter what (if we're not burned out on sex scenes by the time we get through the 6 chosen between both polls) but I want to see if it's something people would vote on anyway.
PS: What are the point of tags? Do they work like on lj? I get confused by how it doesn't provide me a list of previous tags I've used so I have to sort of just remember... which makes me believe I'm doing something wrong.
Right now, I am putzing around not writing shit I should be writing...
We're going to end up doing a secondary poll in the near future, guys. We want to see what would be voted as top picks for the less "obvious" pairings. (Don't worry, the top 3 from this first poll will be written-- we're just curious to see what OTHER scenes people would want).
But this will mean there's at least one new addition to the mix: Doug. Possibly more. We're still in planning stages of pairings.
I'm talking about this poll btw in case you didn't see it: http://poll.fm/3vt7t
There's one we probably want to write no matter what (if we're not burned out on sex scenes by the time we get through the 6 chosen between both polls) but I want to see if it's something people would vote on anyway.
PS: What are the point of tags? Do they work like on lj? I get confused by how it doesn't provide me a list of previous tags I've used so I have to sort of just remember... which makes me believe I'm doing something wrong.
August 28, 2012
....are you kidding me?
So we were just compiling each book into individual documents in preparation for streamlining/much stronger editing for eventual self-publication, and WTF GUYS.
For what is currently released for Evenfall, Afterimage, Interludes, and Fade through chapter 33:
1,595,047 words
3543 pages, Arial 12 & not formatted
....this is not even including any back or side stories.
1.6 million words?
Really?
And over 3500 pages NOT FORMATTED? Right now it's single spaced with an extra space between paragraphs. Once we make it all double spaced and no breaks between paragraphs it's just going to get longer.
jfc. We have a lot of editing to do XD
For what is currently released for Evenfall, Afterimage, Interludes, and Fade through chapter 33:
1,595,047 words
3543 pages, Arial 12 & not formatted
....this is not even including any back or side stories.
1.6 million words?
Really?
And over 3500 pages NOT FORMATTED? Right now it's single spaced with an extra space between paragraphs. Once we make it all double spaced and no breaks between paragraphs it's just going to get longer.
jfc. We have a lot of editing to do XD
August 22, 2012
geek love
I have a relatively new coworker who I haven't talked to a ton but I liked from the moment I first met her. She seemed like she had some spunk and I always like that.
Today a group of us were discussing some things (like you do) and Wicca came up. The person who mentioned it didn't really know what it was and said something vaguely about Paganism and I said, "Yeah, Wiccans are Pagan. I was Wiccan."
He asked if they were good witches or bad witches and I said, "Good witches. Always. It's not really possible to be a bad witch if you're Wiccan unless you're a complete moron or you don't know what the hell you're doing and aren't actually Wiccan."
I tried to explain the three fold law after that but there were all sorts of conversations occurring at once. Of course one person had to ask about ritual knives and be a bit condescending about it and I said, "Well, it's like-- Christians eat 'Jesus' body' and drink 'his blood'-- you're not actually eating flesh and drinking blood, it's ceremonial. It's symbolic." At which point he immediately nodded and laid off.
But the biggest surprise was discovering that New Coworker, who was sitting right next to me, was at the same time saying the things I was. We both said how a person would have to be an idiot to do evil as a Wiccan and then when I looked over at her in surprise (because Wicca is one of the most misunderstood religions, I swear) I found out she'd been Wiccan too.
Later she came by my desk and we started talking, and then I followed her to her desk to tell her some other things. It was cute because she started out being a bit hesitant and we just talked about sci fi/fantasy. Then when I stopped by her desk she said, "I think we're both into similar things and a bit nerdy so I'm just going to feel you out.... did you ever watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer?"
She winced a bit as she asked, as if she expected me to harass her for being immature or something, but of course my answer was, "I did! Buffy! JOSS WHEDON IS SO EFFING EVIL OMG."
And then we super geeked out on, like, everything. I found out she's into archaeology and anthropology like me so I recommended Ancient Aliens to her (with my usual disclaimer of "You will think they're crackpots when you first start it but actually it's really interesting") and then we went on a wheel of nerdiness.
Firefly? Check. Dr Horrible's Singalong? Check + I learned there will be a new one coming up wtf! Mists of Avalon? Check. She brought up Battlestar Galactica and Game of Thrones and I had to admit I hadn't seen/read either yet but I planned to watch GoT. (I tried starting the books one time and couldn't get into it at all but I want to give it another chance) Sandman comics and other Neil Gaiman assorted sundries? Check.
I can't even remember everything we went through. She said in an 'ok I'll admit to this' tone of voice that she even played a board game for Battlestar Galactica and I said, "Hey, I roleplayed Vampire: The Masquerade for years." We kept getting sidetracked on particular topics so we didn't cycle through everything. I didn't ask if she watches anime/manga but I don't think she's that type of geek although I could be wrong.
But the thing is, I'm used to being the sole geek voice where I work. Normally no one else is anywhere NEAR the nerd I am. When the IT people come through and they actually get terms like 'dubbed' or 'subbed' in context of anime I'm always a bit excited-- because I always feel a bit like I've found my brethren.
It was also cute because once she knew I had been Wiccan she said, "Now I can show you my Pagan tattoo!" and showed me her tat of a stylized version of the goddess symbol.
It's kind of exciting to know there's another total nerd working with me now.
I no longer have to be the only one who gets things like ritualistic knives for Wicca or why Joss Whedon is equally awesome and evil for his ability to pull me in and rip my freaking heart out with the things he does to his characters. (We had to have a moment over Spike, the two of us lol). Now if I wanted to mention roleplaying in passing the likelihood of the person getting what it is and not thinking I'm talking about some sort of sex game has increased exponentially.
I've always felt most comfortable around fellow geeks, to be honest. Anime conventions are one of the places I usually feel most at home.
Everyone likes the things I like and when they get in nerdy ass discussions about what series is the best; whether Luffy could kick Natsu and Naruto's asses or whether Ichigo would win over all of them; whether subbed or dubbed is better and whether a person can even truly call themselves an otaku if they're not reading/watching raws; whether fanservice is a good or bad thing; whether yaoi is obnoxious or whether it's awesome... these are things I actually have opinions about. These are things I actually know wtf I'm talking about. And these are things I actually enjoy discussing.
I've always sort of been the person on the outside looking in when it comes to my peer group. For many reasons, not the least of which being I don't drink, smoke, never used drugs, never was interested in any of that. I've never been into parties, either. I like people for who they are and what we can talk about, not the shit they can do for me or how stupid we can be together tonight versus the last. Plus, of course, I eventually figured out I was gay so there was also the whole 'Yeah I'm not exactly as interested in boys as the rest of you' thing my whole life.
It's basically always been a lot of feeling alienated by everyone else in my peer group, not because they mean to but because when you aren't into what everyone else is it ends up feeling like a clique when you're the one on the outside.
But geeks? Oh, geeks. You are into things I'm into. You don't necessarily care about whether I drink, smoke, use, party, anything-- what you care about is whether I know what a d20 is, or whether I cosplay at cons. You care about whether I've seen Neon Genesis Evangelion or whether I think Kirk or Picard is better (Picard all the way btw NOT EVEN A QUESTION).
Geeks of the world, I would like to say this to you:
I love you.
That is all.
[edited to add]
In closing, if you haven't seen this, you must:
http://youtu.be/N9qYF9DZPdw
Today a group of us were discussing some things (like you do) and Wicca came up. The person who mentioned it didn't really know what it was and said something vaguely about Paganism and I said, "Yeah, Wiccans are Pagan. I was Wiccan."
He asked if they were good witches or bad witches and I said, "Good witches. Always. It's not really possible to be a bad witch if you're Wiccan unless you're a complete moron or you don't know what the hell you're doing and aren't actually Wiccan."
I tried to explain the three fold law after that but there were all sorts of conversations occurring at once. Of course one person had to ask about ritual knives and be a bit condescending about it and I said, "Well, it's like-- Christians eat 'Jesus' body' and drink 'his blood'-- you're not actually eating flesh and drinking blood, it's ceremonial. It's symbolic." At which point he immediately nodded and laid off.
But the biggest surprise was discovering that New Coworker, who was sitting right next to me, was at the same time saying the things I was. We both said how a person would have to be an idiot to do evil as a Wiccan and then when I looked over at her in surprise (because Wicca is one of the most misunderstood religions, I swear) I found out she'd been Wiccan too.
Later she came by my desk and we started talking, and then I followed her to her desk to tell her some other things. It was cute because she started out being a bit hesitant and we just talked about sci fi/fantasy. Then when I stopped by her desk she said, "I think we're both into similar things and a bit nerdy so I'm just going to feel you out.... did you ever watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer?"
She winced a bit as she asked, as if she expected me to harass her for being immature or something, but of course my answer was, "I did! Buffy! JOSS WHEDON IS SO EFFING EVIL OMG."
And then we super geeked out on, like, everything. I found out she's into archaeology and anthropology like me so I recommended Ancient Aliens to her (with my usual disclaimer of "You will think they're crackpots when you first start it but actually it's really interesting") and then we went on a wheel of nerdiness.
Firefly? Check. Dr Horrible's Singalong? Check + I learned there will be a new one coming up wtf! Mists of Avalon? Check. She brought up Battlestar Galactica and Game of Thrones and I had to admit I hadn't seen/read either yet but I planned to watch GoT. (I tried starting the books one time and couldn't get into it at all but I want to give it another chance) Sandman comics and other Neil Gaiman assorted sundries? Check.
I can't even remember everything we went through. She said in an 'ok I'll admit to this' tone of voice that she even played a board game for Battlestar Galactica and I said, "Hey, I roleplayed Vampire: The Masquerade for years." We kept getting sidetracked on particular topics so we didn't cycle through everything. I didn't ask if she watches anime/manga but I don't think she's that type of geek although I could be wrong.
But the thing is, I'm used to being the sole geek voice where I work. Normally no one else is anywhere NEAR the nerd I am. When the IT people come through and they actually get terms like 'dubbed' or 'subbed' in context of anime I'm always a bit excited-- because I always feel a bit like I've found my brethren.
It was also cute because once she knew I had been Wiccan she said, "Now I can show you my Pagan tattoo!" and showed me her tat of a stylized version of the goddess symbol.
It's kind of exciting to know there's another total nerd working with me now.
I no longer have to be the only one who gets things like ritualistic knives for Wicca or why Joss Whedon is equally awesome and evil for his ability to pull me in and rip my freaking heart out with the things he does to his characters. (We had to have a moment over Spike, the two of us lol). Now if I wanted to mention roleplaying in passing the likelihood of the person getting what it is and not thinking I'm talking about some sort of sex game has increased exponentially.
I've always felt most comfortable around fellow geeks, to be honest. Anime conventions are one of the places I usually feel most at home.
Everyone likes the things I like and when they get in nerdy ass discussions about what series is the best; whether Luffy could kick Natsu and Naruto's asses or whether Ichigo would win over all of them; whether subbed or dubbed is better and whether a person can even truly call themselves an otaku if they're not reading/watching raws; whether fanservice is a good or bad thing; whether yaoi is obnoxious or whether it's awesome... these are things I actually have opinions about. These are things I actually know wtf I'm talking about. And these are things I actually enjoy discussing.
I've always sort of been the person on the outside looking in when it comes to my peer group. For many reasons, not the least of which being I don't drink, smoke, never used drugs, never was interested in any of that. I've never been into parties, either. I like people for who they are and what we can talk about, not the shit they can do for me or how stupid we can be together tonight versus the last. Plus, of course, I eventually figured out I was gay so there was also the whole 'Yeah I'm not exactly as interested in boys as the rest of you' thing my whole life.
It's basically always been a lot of feeling alienated by everyone else in my peer group, not because they mean to but because when you aren't into what everyone else is it ends up feeling like a clique when you're the one on the outside.
But geeks? Oh, geeks. You are into things I'm into. You don't necessarily care about whether I drink, smoke, use, party, anything-- what you care about is whether I know what a d20 is, or whether I cosplay at cons. You care about whether I've seen Neon Genesis Evangelion or whether I think Kirk or Picard is better (Picard all the way btw NOT EVEN A QUESTION).
Geeks of the world, I would like to say this to you:
I love you.
That is all.
[edited to add]
In closing, if you haven't seen this, you must:
http://youtu.be/N9qYF9DZPdw
August 20, 2012
research love
wow I really love researching. It's kind of silly how much I enjoy it.
It's so fun to have a 'need' to be met (such as, "I need a location that fits ___ criteria" or "I need to figure out where this picture was taken") and then go crazy with Google trying to track things down.
Some examples of fun times with google can be found at behind the scenes at the icos tumblr.
But that's really only the google maps side of things.
There are all these other sides-- for instance, there was a scene in Fade (chapter 9) where I actually looked up what stage the moon would be in on that future date at that location to be able to accurately describe the sky both in Pennsylvania and China.
For those curious, in Pennsylvania on February 10, 2024 sunrise will be 7 am and sunset 5:30 pm; in China near Harbin on February 11, 2024 sunrise will be 6:43 am, sunset 4:53 pm. Then of course there are all the distance calculations (The areas we chose in China and Pennsylvania are exactly 12 hours apart; 9:13 pm on May 4 is 9:13 AM on May 5). Flight is about 13 hours between the areas so that was how we figured out how to describe the setting and the status of the sun in China and in the US.
Or in Afterimage with all the globetrotting we looked up locations and length of time needed to travel between by plane, walking, car...
There are places that could probably stand to use more research to be even more accurate, but we also have a dystopian alternate future so some things we purposely do our own way.
Anyway, I'm sure everyone does all this research too but sometimes I have to geek out on it because it's so fun. And I figure other research geeks may like to geek out by reading an entry about it as well. At least, I know I'm enough of a geek that I would read someone else's research entry lol
It's probably for reasons like this that Mythbusters is one of my favorite shows ever.
It's so fun to have a 'need' to be met (such as, "I need a location that fits ___ criteria" or "I need to figure out where this picture was taken") and then go crazy with Google trying to track things down.
Some examples of fun times with google can be found at behind the scenes at the icos tumblr.
But that's really only the google maps side of things.
There are all these other sides-- for instance, there was a scene in Fade (chapter 9) where I actually looked up what stage the moon would be in on that future date at that location to be able to accurately describe the sky both in Pennsylvania and China.
For those curious, in Pennsylvania on February 10, 2024 sunrise will be 7 am and sunset 5:30 pm; in China near Harbin on February 11, 2024 sunrise will be 6:43 am, sunset 4:53 pm. Then of course there are all the distance calculations (The areas we chose in China and Pennsylvania are exactly 12 hours apart; 9:13 pm on May 4 is 9:13 AM on May 5). Flight is about 13 hours between the areas so that was how we figured out how to describe the setting and the status of the sun in China and in the US.
Or in Afterimage with all the globetrotting we looked up locations and length of time needed to travel between by plane, walking, car...
There are places that could probably stand to use more research to be even more accurate, but we also have a dystopian alternate future so some things we purposely do our own way.
Anyway, I'm sure everyone does all this research too but sometimes I have to geek out on it because it's so fun. And I figure other research geeks may like to geek out by reading an entry about it as well. At least, I know I'm enough of a geek that I would read someone else's research entry lol
It's probably for reasons like this that Mythbusters is one of my favorite shows ever.
August 18, 2012
another stupid conversation + tumblr!
I'll make a note about the tumblr account in the news section too...
Sonny: bah i dont want to write 33
Ais: write it
i will whip you
Sonny: what if i liked being whipped then that wont work
Ais: then im going to send you to a fucking spa!
you WILL be massaged and there will be no happy endings!
Sonny: thats horrible
i hate massages
Ais: you're gonna get one
if you don't write 33
and it's going to be by a professional who WON'T STOP
for like an hour
also it'll be in a spa
so there will be girly scents
----
Crossposted at our new ICoS tumblr account we just created today-- http://sonnyais.tumblr.com/
Sonny: bah i dont want to write 33
Ais: write it
i will whip you
Sonny: what if i liked being whipped then that wont work
Ais: then im going to send you to a fucking spa!
you WILL be massaged and there will be no happy endings!
Sonny: thats horrible
i hate massages
Ais: you're gonna get one
if you don't write 33
and it's going to be by a professional who WON'T STOP
for like an hour
also it'll be in a spa
so there will be girly scents
----
Crossposted at our new ICoS tumblr account we just created today-- http://sonnyais.tumblr.com/
August 17, 2012
Will Grayson, Will Grayson
I started reading Will Grayson, Will Grayson, reced by faust I think. I'm very amused by it so far and like it a lot.
The thing that amuses me the most is that I can totally relate to one of the Will Graysons and the other cracks me up. He is so unimpressed with the world and has no qualms saying it.
That one reminds me of Sonny, like seriously you guys XD It's hilarious. Especially since of course Sonny and I have only ever known each other online so our conversations are always digital, and that Will Grayson's pov is basically written like someone writing on the computer...
This excerpted conversation in particular seemed straight out of stories Sonny has told me about his day:
(This girl comes up to Will when he's shelving Metamucil at work and asks if he's gay)
---NOTE: Will's POV so me = him---
me: what the fuck?
her: it would be okay with me if you were
me: oh good because the thing i'd be worried about the most is whether you were okay with it
her: i'm just saying
me: noted. now will you just shut up and let me work, okay? or do you want me to use my employee discount to get you something for your cramps?
((story cut out))
me: there should be a cereal for constipated people called metamueslix
her: i'm serious
me: and i'm seriously telling you to fuck off. you shouldn't call me gay just because i don't want to sleep with you. a lot of straight guys don't want to sleep with you, either
her: fuck you
me: ah, but the point is, you won't
---
I bet if I could go back in chat logs, Sonny would have relayed a story to me sometime that was a hell of a lot like that XD
Also I can relate to the other Will Grayson's habits/personality. The way he has random thoughts is pretty much like me so it made me laugh, such as:
I make my way up close to the stage without Tiny and without Gary and without Possibly Gay Jane. It's just me and the stage, which is only raised up about two feet in this joint, so if the lead singer of Neutral Milk Hotel is particularly short-- like if he is three feet ten inches tall-- I will be looking him straight in the eye.
And then this quote also amused me:
I realize this is not, like, boyish. I realize that properly speaking guys should only think about sex and acquisition of it, and that they should run crotch-first toward every girl who likes them and etc.
Switch that to 'girlish' and that's the way I always felt too... well not the running crotch-first part. That's just hilarious XD But the greater context of this quote being about the idea of not fitting in with the norm during high school-- that fit then and fits now too.
I mean even the fact that he doesn't drink... that is me too. I like that there's a character in a book I can relate to in many ways who isn't super lamesauce. It makes me feel less lamesauce myself.
I have to stop quoting this damn book because it's making me SUCH a slow reader.
The thing that amuses me the most is that I can totally relate to one of the Will Graysons and the other cracks me up. He is so unimpressed with the world and has no qualms saying it.
That one reminds me of Sonny, like seriously you guys XD It's hilarious. Especially since of course Sonny and I have only ever known each other online so our conversations are always digital, and that Will Grayson's pov is basically written like someone writing on the computer...
This excerpted conversation in particular seemed straight out of stories Sonny has told me about his day:
(This girl comes up to Will when he's shelving Metamucil at work and asks if he's gay)
---NOTE: Will's POV so me = him---
me: what the fuck?
her: it would be okay with me if you were
me: oh good because the thing i'd be worried about the most is whether you were okay with it
her: i'm just saying
me: noted. now will you just shut up and let me work, okay? or do you want me to use my employee discount to get you something for your cramps?
((story cut out))
me: there should be a cereal for constipated people called metamueslix
her: i'm serious
me: and i'm seriously telling you to fuck off. you shouldn't call me gay just because i don't want to sleep with you. a lot of straight guys don't want to sleep with you, either
her: fuck you
me: ah, but the point is, you won't
---
I bet if I could go back in chat logs, Sonny would have relayed a story to me sometime that was a hell of a lot like that XD
Also I can relate to the other Will Grayson's habits/personality. The way he has random thoughts is pretty much like me so it made me laugh, such as:
I make my way up close to the stage without Tiny and without Gary and without Possibly Gay Jane. It's just me and the stage, which is only raised up about two feet in this joint, so if the lead singer of Neutral Milk Hotel is particularly short-- like if he is three feet ten inches tall-- I will be looking him straight in the eye.
And then this quote also amused me:
I realize this is not, like, boyish. I realize that properly speaking guys should only think about sex and acquisition of it, and that they should run crotch-first toward every girl who likes them and etc.
Switch that to 'girlish' and that's the way I always felt too... well not the running crotch-first part. That's just hilarious XD But the greater context of this quote being about the idea of not fitting in with the norm during high school-- that fit then and fits now too.
I mean even the fact that he doesn't drink... that is me too. I like that there's a character in a book I can relate to in many ways who isn't super lamesauce. It makes me feel less lamesauce myself.
I have to stop quoting this damn book because it's making me SUCH a slow reader.
August 16, 2012
fkn twitter, but add me if you want
I'm quite the curmudgeon when it comes to all these newfangled technologies on the interwebz (actually I just really don't like the invasion of privacy and the dumbing down of any significant information into sound bites -- I have a problem with mainstream media too, ngl).
BUT, I made a twitter account. Even though I really hate twitter. I'm trying to give it a chance. My username is aisness.
So if you have twitter and want to add me you can, I just can't say yet how often I will update. I guess it can be useful for my random thoughts and shit but I don't really see why people care about these things. Apparently people do since that's what most of twitter is and it has remained popular for years.
I sound like a cranky old lady angry about these newfangled VCRs XD Confounded machines! *shakes cane* You whippersnappers!
BUT, I made a twitter account. Even though I really hate twitter. I'm trying to give it a chance. My username is aisness.
So if you have twitter and want to add me you can, I just can't say yet how often I will update. I guess it can be useful for my random thoughts and shit but I don't really see why people care about these things. Apparently people do since that's what most of twitter is and it has remained popular for years.
I sound like a cranky old lady angry about these newfangled VCRs XD Confounded machines! *shakes cane* You whippersnappers!
August 8, 2012
I guess I'll be serious for once
I think one of the reasons I'm usually super ridiculous is because I find that having a sense of humor, no matter how moronic, is great for dealing with everyday annoyances as well as things that fill me with rage. It lets me vent the frustration and fury in short bursts and then I can let the poison out of my system, and start looking at things rationally again, and sometimes I can make bad things seem ok by laughing at it.
Sometimes.
If my general state of being is to be totally stupid and make jokes and try to find humor in everything, it kind of stores up the inward good karma for those moments when the outward (or inward) bad karma tips the scale. It's easier to right myself more quickly and make jokes about things that are otherwise difficult to process, and absorb the shittiness of the world/people without always letting it overtake everything else.
Right now is one of those times where it makes me think about how strange it is to be able to go from being perfectly fine to suddenly so horrified or disgusted by something it makes me rant, and then since this is online I can soon afterward type out stuff like "XD" and "<3" even before I feel it -- to try to restore myself to a natural balance.
Because oftentimes the things that truly disgust me are things I can't do anything about, and ultimately the only real effect I have on others is how I interact with them. Ultimately the main thing I can do to counteract the occasional complete shithole of humanity is to be as good of a person as I know how to be.
And I know that sounds cheesy and I know maybe it's not the healthiest of life choices or maybe it is, I can't say. But right now with this strange, vague lump in the center of my chest I know that if I focus only on that I won't be of service to anyone, but if I focus on the actions I can personally take and the outcomes I can personally affect, the burning will slowly, subtly subside.
So if you ever wonder why most of the time I say such ridiculous things, why I make such stupid jokes or act like I'm 5 years old, it's because at times like this it's easier to remember that most of the time I don't want to kick people, and most of the time everything's pretty okay. Most of the time, it's possible to laugh, and most of the time the things that seem so terrible can be accepted without being belittled but also without making it impossible to move forward.
It's when I start thinking about how such things are not possible for everyone, how some people are in terrible situations that they can't get out of, that it makes it harder to think that way. But then I get back to realizing that I can only affect what I can affect, and I can do everything in my power when it's in my power, and when it isn't I have to accept that, too, or I won't be able to help anyone even when it gets to a time when I can.
Sometimes.
If my general state of being is to be totally stupid and make jokes and try to find humor in everything, it kind of stores up the inward good karma for those moments when the outward (or inward) bad karma tips the scale. It's easier to right myself more quickly and make jokes about things that are otherwise difficult to process, and absorb the shittiness of the world/people without always letting it overtake everything else.
Right now is one of those times where it makes me think about how strange it is to be able to go from being perfectly fine to suddenly so horrified or disgusted by something it makes me rant, and then since this is online I can soon afterward type out stuff like "XD" and "<3" even before I feel it -- to try to restore myself to a natural balance.
Because oftentimes the things that truly disgust me are things I can't do anything about, and ultimately the only real effect I have on others is how I interact with them. Ultimately the main thing I can do to counteract the occasional complete shithole of humanity is to be as good of a person as I know how to be.
And I know that sounds cheesy and I know maybe it's not the healthiest of life choices or maybe it is, I can't say. But right now with this strange, vague lump in the center of my chest I know that if I focus only on that I won't be of service to anyone, but if I focus on the actions I can personally take and the outcomes I can personally affect, the burning will slowly, subtly subside.
So if you ever wonder why most of the time I say such ridiculous things, why I make such stupid jokes or act like I'm 5 years old, it's because at times like this it's easier to remember that most of the time I don't want to kick people, and most of the time everything's pretty okay. Most of the time, it's possible to laugh, and most of the time the things that seem so terrible can be accepted without being belittled but also without making it impossible to move forward.
It's when I start thinking about how such things are not possible for everyone, how some people are in terrible situations that they can't get out of, that it makes it harder to think that way. But then I get back to realizing that I can only affect what I can affect, and I can do everything in my power when it's in my power, and when it isn't I have to accept that, too, or I won't be able to help anyone even when it gets to a time when I can.
