Emily Cook's Blog, page 38

Wrecked

Jeff Goins, in his newest book, urges us to get Wrecked- to allow our lives to be shattered by the needs of others.

His writing is captivating and his goal is noble.  He does not shield the reader from the suffering that comes when one allows their own heart to be pierced.  He is not offering a secret path to a happier life; rather, he is encourages us to stop obsessing about our own happiness, and instead, to love.

"When we intersect with the needs of a dying world, we realize our talents, gifts, and passions are not merely ours to enjoy; they are intended as sacrifices. “You think the people of this country exist to provide you with position,” the brave William Wallace
told a group of cowardly Scottish nobles. “I think your position exists to provide those people with freedom.” p13


"We want our lives to mean something. We want to be able to make our parents and children proud. We want to be able to stand before God with confidence when He asks us how we spent our time here. Maybe accomplishing this is messier than we thought. Maybe something can only be born when something else dies.  Maybe our “coming alive” feels like being dragged through the dirt. Maybe you and I are hanging by a thread of grace for most of our lives and we’re expected to be humble, not haughty, with the breaks we've been given. Maybe we’re supposed to pay good deeds forward. Maybe we’re supposed to think what’s in it for me? far less than we do. Maybe we need to sacrifice more. Maybe it won’t feel like a sacrifice at all, but more like the sensation of becoming unnumbed." (p.41)
Though he mentions Christ, Jesus is largely presented as our example to follow in this book. I would have liked to see the author encourage God's children (who are wounded and wrecked on behalf of others)  to run to Him, to His Word, over and over, for the strength and help they need to suffer-with.  This will not make the suffering go away, of course, but it is the only refuge and hope for a child of God in this life.

We will not stand before God with confidence based on our actions of our compassion, noble as they may be. Our confidence comes only from Christ and rests completely on His grace towards us on the cross.  He forgives, and He loves, and He teaches us to love. I agree with Jeff, that this is a messy process.  This un-numbing, the loving, will be nothing like we expect.

Maybe you and I are hanging by a thread of grace for most of our lives...
I am sure this is true... we hang, or we live pridefully unaware that we are hanging, and we go about our days. If we understood, really understood how dependent we are on His love, His grace, and every moment, we would be terrified. And yet, if we understood how strong is that thread by which we hang, how great is his love for us that holds us steady, well, that would change everything.

God, keep changing my everything.


Have you been wrecked-- have you had your life shattered by the needs of others?  I'd love to hear your story.

I didn't mean it. (Screen-free week reflections.)

Mamas need to have down time: We need time with God, and we also need time just for ourselves.
So what was I thinking when I took away my favorite way to spend my down time?Isn't my life challenging enough without trying to go “screen-free” for a week?I knew it would be harder. I thought it would be nearly impossible.
Monday, 8:05 am, I thought, Oh no, is is really only 8:05 am?Tuesday afternoon I realized: The internet is a good source of calorie- free entertainment. I’d better watch it or I’m going to gain ten pounds this week.
But now, at the end of screen-free week, I wonder:Why does everything seem to be going so smoothly?
We’ve had fights, but also, adventures. We’ve made memories. We’ve been busy.
And instead of feeling crazy and drained, I feel… refreshed. Calm. Grateful.

And I almost don’t want to feel like this. I didn't mean for this to be a lifestyle change. I just wanted to do a little experiment.I just wanted to try something new for a week. I wanted to shake up our normal. To force the kids to play outside. To hear them singing silly songs on the trampoline instead of the theme song to Johnny Test.
I wanted them to learn and grow and interact and really see each other.And yet, I’m the one who sees.
A normal morning In the morning, after I send the big kids to school, I usually let the little ones watch cartoons while I regroup.I relax with my coffee, in front of the computer, checking in with my calendar and my email and my social network and my blog and (theoretically) God too, at least if there happens to be nothing interesting on the internet. They watch a cartoon or two, until I am ready to engage with them again, or until they are fighting. They are almost always naughty before I am “ready.” And so it goes.
A screen-free morning I wake up with a healthy fear of the new day. It’s going to be more of a challenge without TV, I think. I immediately pray for patience and energy, and I form a game plan. Lately it has been warmer, so I dress the preschoolers while the big kids get ready for school. When they are ready, we are ready— at least, ready enough. I have a cup of coffee by then. I may or may not have brushed my hair. No matter. We go out, while the sun is barely up, and we walk the big kids to school. We walk slow, collect bugs, wave to the school bus. And the big kids hug the little ones, one by one. Then I hold my coffee out to the side when they run at me for a goodbye tackle-hug. Coffee spills on the sidewalk. Little ones have discovered an earthworm, or a birds’ nest, or a piece of bark that looks like a dagger. And they tell mommy, because everything must be told to mommy when you are little. And mommy is not in a hurry, so she listens. She really listens.
flower snow
I just wanted to force my kids to play in the treehouse, to get fresh air, to imagine.I didn’t mean to breathe it in with them.I just wanted them to read more books, hear the birds, notice the sunset.I didn’t want to be swept up with them.I didn’t want to realize I’d been missing things, too.I didn’t want to… repent.
Saturday came, and with it rain. A movie night was in order, and the children were newly grateful for the privilege. And I am grateful, too, for a week of moments to cherish, for a fresh perspective.For spring.For the mercy of God.For technology, and for moments without technology.For my vocation in this tiny home, and for the freedom to let headlines and social networking go for a time. For the freedom to just be who I am in this little life, to these little people, and for His grace that makes that enough.
What I had thought would be a challenge ended up being (mostly) a break for my scattered mind. It was a slow pace, and fewer things pulling me.It was a week of ears, eyes, and heart opening.
All good things are gifts from God, and technology is certainly good. But I start this new week with new motivation to keep boundaries around this good, that it does not crowd out those things that are better. 

How do you balance these things in your life?Did anyone else go scree- free this week?


I know this isn't a typical health/fitness post, but I'm filing it under Weak and Lovely, too. This is the best thing I've done for my mental health in a long time.

Don't read my blog this week.

We're embarking an adventure this week.We're going screen-free.Our TV is covered up, ready for an entire week's rest.

We've made our list of fun things to do without technology.They got quite excited as we talked about this at the table.
With every idea they got louder, and louder, and LOUDER...
Play in the sandbox!Climb trees!Go to the park!Play in the dirt!Play dress up!Board Games!Duct tape our mouths shut and wave our arms to communicate!Have a banana fight!Eat Marcus for dinner!Poop our pants!(I refused to put  the last three on the list, but  I did OK the duct tape.)
our screen-free list
Plus, I can feel myself getting distracted from my primary vocation. It's time to unplug. The  weather is getting nice, and I think we could use a little fresh air. A little re-focusing. A little human interaction.  It's gonna kill me, but I think I'll even  turn off my computer this  week too. (I expect some major withdrawal symptoms.)
And they are interrupting me even as I write this post.  But this time, instead of shoo'ing them, I'll just quit typing.
I'll let you know how it goes next Monday!(assuming we survive!)
Consider joining me!
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Messy Mommy Jobs #10 & Link Up

Messy pictures for this week!

My clutter table!Do you have a place like this in your home?
My poor bread!







you win some, you loose some. 
Inside the couches:
Who has been squirreling away the SHARPIES?! 


The inside: A snackOatmeal in a pocket


And now, some baby messes!
[image error]


My sneaky food snatcher: 

Baby Charlotte, having a party in her highchair!

A card for mommy (Regina Ditto of Counting Blessings)The front is super-mom.

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Little  Landon, just enjoying his biscuit!
In case you missed it, check out the first post, Monday's Mess, and Do the messes ever drive you to the edge? (If nothing else, check out that one to see the peanut butter-cicle), and Don't get mad, grab your camera!

Share your pictures!

Send me an emailPost pictures to my facebook page(Please note- if you post to facebook or email me, you are giving me permission to use your picture on my blog! If you want credit, put your nameon the picture itself.  I use picmonkey for this and other edits. It's free and you don't even have to register!)

If you have a blog, link up with me below! ( Links back are always appreciated!)Your post can be anything at all mess-related; cleaning tips, organizing tips, thoughts on a messy life, a messy craft project, or just fun pictures of your kids doing something messy!

Hammer time

A few nights ago, my son decided he wanted to build a dog house.He is seven.
I suggested we start with basic building skills.So he's practicing hammering.


I presented him with quite a difficult decision before he began:Which hammer?

The black one, which is his...or the other one, which is BIGGER, but has flowers on it!



Little brother got the flowers.
This  kept them busy for over an hour. The little ones watched, and the big girls joined in.I highly recommend this activity.

random recommendations #3

Parenting and motherhood
Mom am I ugly?
What would you say if your daughter asked? Here are ten tips from another mother...

The Real Life Definition of Mother
real life and real heart.  Read this one, moms.


Butterflies and Theology
A trip to the butterfly garden goes horribly (why did I pay money for this!) but then things change...

Best Construction
Thinking about those words said in front of little ears...

The Twenty Minute Rule
Excellent strategy for keeping your cool during those intense mommy moments.

Nutrition and Health
50 of the best uses for coconut oil
Put a little windex coconut oil on it!

A McDs Hamburger 14 years later.
You gotta see this.

10 foods you can grow from scraps
Garden with garbage! How economical! I will be trying some of these!


Misc
A hymn for suffering pastors

Shadow Dance Love Story 

Some Truth about Death and Angels
Is there really a Grandma Angel?

Girlhood

"I would not chill the warmth and ardor of happy girlhood. What if I do know that the clouds and storms of life are just ahead and that its cares will bend her back and break her heart! Would they be any less if she knew? Soon enough the sorrows and pain will come. Laugh and play now, for this is your day. Dream your bright and happy dreams, and aspire to your lofty heights. I should be a pessimist indeed if I saw evil in the radiant dreams and fair hopes that now brighten your skies and make your path light." 
(Beautiful Girlhood p 13-14)

Father, see these two beautiful hearts, how they grow!

It's so beautiful and yet so terrifying! Their dreams are huge and they know so little of the world! How is a mother to encourage them and worry for them at the same time? Yet they need both, don't they? Their dreams need nurturing, and yet their tender hearts still need some protecting in this place. 

Father I have not the wisdom I need to tend this garden.

Tend to me and my girls, Father.

Keep us safely connected to the life-giving vine, to Jesus, as we grow up together.
In His name, Amen

Why I had to throw a party

It had been a long weekend. Two kids had a mild stomach bug. I'd been in the house too long. Daddy was going to be gone for the evening. The big kids were home for spring break, but nothing fun had happened yet, and they were full of restless energy.

Spring break.
And it was snowing.
It was a recipe for disaster.

I just didn't think we could handle one more "normal" night at home. It would be too much TV (in my opinion), not enough action (for them), too much noise (in my opinion), not enough excitement (for them)... tension and friction until my patience ran out (which some forecasters predicted would be as early as 3pm) and everyone was yelled off to an early bedtime.

But what could be done? We couldn't risk driving to town with two unpredictable boy stomachs.
We were stuck. At home. With our normal.
And normal was driving us all crazy.

Unless....
Unless I could figure out a way to shake up our normal.

I was desperate. Stuck in the house, dreading the evening, and desperate.
Naptime came, and I had a minute to think. I decided to try something different. Instead of just endure another evening, I'd try to shake up our normal.

I'd throw a party.
Just for us.

I gave myself some guidelines for this survival party:

Keep it simple for your sake.A fun evening is worth any messes that will be made.And also, keep it simple.
I rummaged around my basement, and here's what I came up with.

Easter egg hunt.
It was freezing, and I had no candy, but I did have chocolate chips. They were willing to brave the cold for chocolate chips. (The big kids did the filling and the hiding for the little ones.


Ice ChallengeA container, ice, and some plastic coins.Their challenge- how many coins can you get out of the tub with your bare feet in 5 minutes?

Finally, WATER PLAY.We had water, and they had bathing suits. So what if it was snowing out. It was spring break after all! So we'd pretend it was summer in our basement. 

Also, they'd get those mats nice and clean. (Because clean mats are better Slip N Slides)


 Next, water balloon pinatas.

It was a nice theory, but they didn't pop very easily!So they played catch...Then they played bash-the-brother.

He loved it.

And finally,the sleepout.We put mattresses in the living room and all six of them slept out there. Of course, we danced first.(Note the song- Aggie's favorite)


Then finally, TV.

Snuggles, and eventually, sleep.

The rest of the storyYes, this was an incredibly fun way to spend what would have been a tense evening full of boredom and bickering. But before you comment with some sort of "Oh my goodness you are such a fun mom" spiel, let me tell you what happened the next day.
I collapsed. The oldest watched the youngest while I slept in. LATE. They watched LOTS of TV. And then I got up, and a little while later, I needed another nap. More babysitting. More TV. More messes.More bickering.
But I guess that's life in a family, isn't it? 
It is series of sprints, with an occasional long nap.

Sermon Notes

Reluctant pastor's wife

(I read this post and this post today on being a pastor's wife, and I was inspired to finish my own. This has been sitting in the drafts for some time!)

A Reluctant Pastor's Wife
The plans he had when we started dating were quite different. He was going into politics. He was going to be the president of the USA. (As are most who attend our Alma Mater!)

 I met this guy in college. He stole me from that other guy, and then we drank and smoked together on the weekends. So, I call myself a "reluctant" pastor's wife only because this vocation is not something I would have asked for, nor foreseen, when I was younger.


This is partly true because most of my experience was in the Catholic church, where there are no pretty side-kicks working alongside of the priests, playing the piano and tending his children.  That just seems weird to a Catholic kid.  I also was reluctant to be a pastor's wife because I am, after all, a sinner.  Aren't pastor's wives supposed to be perfect all the time?

And also, I didn't know how to play the piano. (gasp!)
(I still don't... even though my older three children do!)

I have found my calling to be much more pleasing than I ever would have expected it to be, and nothing like the stereotype I once had.  Partly because our church family is healthy and filled with the love of Christ, and partly because God has changed my heart, and taught it to want what He has to give me.

Now, I like being married to the man that works at the church all the time.  I enjoy helping him brainstorm about sermons, and giving him my feedback after church on sundays (if the kids were good enough for me to hear any of the sermon.)  I was the nerd who took the theology classes with him in college! We "courted" over coffee and Luther! John Calvin and Thomas Aquinas joined us on the beach!

Sure there are trials mixed in with my calling.  I sometimes feel like we are being watched by everyone, and that is a little unsettling, especially when I am out of patience and the kids are overly wiggly.

From an actual card received when we moved to this church:



Look at that poor little stick figure, how small he is compared to those enormous eyes! Life in the parsonage does feel like that at times. (However, those of you who know my story of being Weak and Loved know that an observing church can also be a very caring church!)

For me, the hardest times are the times when he is stooped over with the weight of his job.

Often, my heart breaks for my husband as I watch him bear an invisible burden. He rarely has the freedom to tell me what is happening at church, but I know when his heart is heavy with counseling sessions and broken people and the weight of sin. I can see it in his face, hear it in his silence.  And I am powerless to help him through that. So I make him strawberry shortcake, and I might even try to keep the kids quiet(er.)

And that is hard.
It's hard when he's stooped over with his vocation and I'm flattened by mine and we are powerless to help each other.  And yet, somehow, always, God helps, and we are again upheld another day, another week.

In general, I have found that Christians are actually forgiving and kind, even to a pastor's wife with a flock of children always on her heels.  And I am learning the joys of being Lutheran.  For one thing, we say out loud that we are sinners- every Sunday- and not just the congregation, but also the pastor, and the pastor's wife.

We are NOT some super-holy people leading holy wannabes down the road of righteousness.

We are beggars, standing with beggars, receiving gifts from a gracious God.
God has chosen a my husband to give those gifts to His beloved beggars.
And me to be his helpmate.
Wow.

Makes me almost happy to iron his robes for him.

Almost.

2008 just ordained
For all pastors, their wives, and their families,let us pray to the Lord.Lord, have mercy.