Emily Cook's Blog, page 36
June 2, 2013
They make it hard.
God, help me love more, and yell less.
Make my heart bigger for these people in this house.
Forgive me, in Jesus' name, and continue the work in me that you have begun.
Amen.
Read more: Yelling on my mind.The Orange Rino Challenge
June 1, 2013
On my mind: Yelling
I sent them outside because I couldn't take it any more. Them. The noise. The fighting. Myself.
I sat on the couch with my head in my hands and wondered, again, how are we going to make it through summer? God, help me.
When I yelled them outside, they went with heads hung. They had been quite awful. Fighting and picking tattling and disobeying. Let the record show their wrongs. And the wrongs spilled on to mother, and mother exploded, adding adult-sized eruption of ugliness to the already ugly afternoon.
They went out slowly and sadly. The rain had just stopped and everything was wet. The little ones whined about the wet grass. What were they to do with themselves while they waited for mom's anger to cool? The wind blew in a great gust, and the girls tilted their heads back and let their hair dance.
"Dance with me!" they said to their brothers.
They held hands and danced around the driveway.
I watched them from my couch, where I sat in self-imposed time-out.
Oh God I love these children. How is it that I can be so awful to them?
Have you ever felt this feeling? All the wrongs done against you seem so legitimate, and you believe you are justified in your anger, and you let it loose, hot and burning like fire, and suddenly, you realize... you are just being a big bully.
And have you ever been looked at with this look?That awful look, that fear in the eyes, and heartbreak, and "mama I thought you loved me!"
I hate it.
Why do I yell? Because I'm a sinner. And my vocation gets all tangled up with my selfishness, and out of the heart spill my thoughts, and I am not proud of them.
And I don't believe I can rid my heart of sin. God is working on that, and the process is slow, but I know He will finish what He has started. And I know that I am accepted by grace alone, because of Jesus, as I am, right now, today. God loves sinners, even really ugly ones.
I am secure in His love. And it is His love that grows in me that makes me want to be better for my children.
So I heard about this Orange Rino challenge:
Love more, yell less.
Yes, that is what I want.
God help us, that is what I hope for here in this house, this summer, with these dear babies. I want this home to be a place of grace, and I pray that God would use my hands and even my lips and my tongue to bless these babies of mine.
30 day challenge- STARTS MONDAY!
I don't know where to begin, but I guess the first step is admitting I have a problem!
Will you join me?
My goal is not to be perfect, but to keep prayerful focus on a problem behavior. To love more, and yell less.
A few more articles I liked:
The important thing about yelling
10 things I learned when I stopped yelling at my kids
12 steps to stop yelling at your kids
Tracking my triggers
And don't miss the grace!
Orange Rino and Grace: This kid knows grace
Do you struggle with yelling?
Come back Monday...and hear about my yesterday that led to all the yelling :)
photo creditfamilyhalloweenmoviesgroovyshirtsscifinow
I sat on the couch with my head in my hands and wondered, again, how are we going to make it through summer? God, help me.
When I yelled them outside, they went with heads hung. They had been quite awful. Fighting and picking tattling and disobeying. Let the record show their wrongs. And the wrongs spilled on to mother, and mother exploded, adding adult-sized eruption of ugliness to the already ugly afternoon.
They went out slowly and sadly. The rain had just stopped and everything was wet. The little ones whined about the wet grass. What were they to do with themselves while they waited for mom's anger to cool? The wind blew in a great gust, and the girls tilted their heads back and let their hair dance.
"Dance with me!" they said to their brothers.
They held hands and danced around the driveway.
I watched them from my couch, where I sat in self-imposed time-out.
Oh God I love these children. How is it that I can be so awful to them?
Have you ever felt this feeling? All the wrongs done against you seem so legitimate, and you believe you are justified in your anger, and you let it loose, hot and burning like fire, and suddenly, you realize... you are just being a big bully.
And have you ever been looked at with this look?That awful look, that fear in the eyes, and heartbreak, and "mama I thought you loved me!"
I hate it.
Why do I yell? Because I'm a sinner. And my vocation gets all tangled up with my selfishness, and out of the heart spill my thoughts, and I am not proud of them.
And I don't believe I can rid my heart of sin. God is working on that, and the process is slow, but I know He will finish what He has started. And I know that I am accepted by grace alone, because of Jesus, as I am, right now, today. God loves sinners, even really ugly ones.
I am secure in His love. And it is His love that grows in me that makes me want to be better for my children.
So I heard about this Orange Rino challenge:
Love more, yell less.
Yes, that is what I want.
God help us, that is what I hope for here in this house, this summer, with these dear babies. I want this home to be a place of grace, and I pray that God would use my hands and even my lips and my tongue to bless these babies of mine.
30 day challenge- STARTS MONDAY!
I don't know where to begin, but I guess the first step is admitting I have a problem!
Will you join me?
My goal is not to be perfect, but to keep prayerful focus on a problem behavior. To love more, and yell less.
A few more articles I liked:The important thing about yelling
10 things I learned when I stopped yelling at my kids
12 steps to stop yelling at your kids
Tracking my triggers
And don't miss the grace!
Orange Rino and Grace: This kid knows grace
Do you struggle with yelling?
Come back Monday...and hear about my yesterday that led to all the yelling :)
photo creditfamilyhalloweenmoviesgroovyshirtsscifinow
May 31, 2013
Launch Day, 2013
(What follows is an approximate version of a speech given by me to our 8th grade graduates on May 30)
Launch Day, 2013
One of my favorite things to do in the mornings is to take my little boys and “go watch car line.” You may have seen us there, me with my coffee, them with their bug keepers and swords. What you may not know is this: They are keeping you safe. They are constantly on the lookout for bad guys, and especially coyotes. This is why they bring their swords and guns, and why my son Marcus rarely leaves home without his slingshot.
I’ve been thinking about slingshots this week. No, we have not had any broken windows yet. Marcus has been very responsible with his toy so far, and it helps that he is still learning how to use it. I’ve been thinking about slingshot because I’ve been thinking about graduation- your graduation. I’ve been thinking about times of transition, times when everything ‘normal’ is about to change, and it’s a bit like being in the seat of a slingshot.
My oldest daughter is just finishing fourth grade, so I have yet to experience this kind of launch day with one of my own children. But we have had mini-launches. First steps, first overnight, first day of kindergarten, first week of camp. I remember when Seth first learned to ride his bike. He asked me to help him out of the blue one day. He hopped on, and I walked beside him. “Go, go, go!” Soon I was running “go go go” and he was off! And then, “wait, slow down!” I wanted to say, but suddenly he was out of my reach. That feeling- the “go go go!” mixed with “wait for me I’m not ready!” is one I feel all the time when my children wizz by milestones. I imagine your parents, grandparents, and teachers can relate to these mixed feelings on this day. We are cheering you on, but we are trying to catch up. We are proud of you, but we are nervous for you, too.
You graduates may not have these same feelings, but I am sure your feelings today are mixed. I messaged many of you on facebook last week( those I could find), and asked you for three words to describe your feelings about graduation. Excited. Sad. Ready. Relieved. Nervous. Ambitious. Appreciative. Blessed. Will. Miss. Girls. (that was Nick)
Sitting in the seat of a slingshot may sound like a pretty fun thing to you, or it may be terrifying. Maybe it’s a bit of both. Just about everything that makes up your normal day right now is about to change. Your commute. The friends you see at lunch. Your weekly chapel service. Normal is changing, and you are in the seat of the sling shot. Scarier still, you are not 100% sure where you are going to land.
I remember when we moved here to White Creek. Our families are from Michigan, and on call night I was hoping for a call somewhere near home. “Columbus, Indiana,” they said, and the first thing I said was, “Where? That’s Northern Indiana, right?” Turns out it was not. I had mixed feelings, and we left many things behind when we climbed into that launch seat. But God was faithful, and that made all the difference. We landed in a place far from family, where God sent us our fifth child, and then our sixth. But He was faithful. We landed in a place that included sickness, seizures and a brain tumor, and we were forced to learn to be weak and loved. But God was faithful, and that made all the difference.
Graduates, you are now being released from White Creek. Wherever you land, it will be in a place where more is expected of you. You will learn more, you will become more responsible, more capable. You will become more independent. We celebrate this with you, and we cheer you on. And yet, we hesitate. We might not be completely ready for this. It might take us some time to catch up.
Awhile ago I was looking through some old clothes and I found a dress that fit my oldest daughter when she was two. She saw it and cried, “Oh mama! I wish this could still fit me!”“Well, you shoulda thought of that before you grew up, young lady,” I joked.“Mama, I couldn’t help it! God made me grow!” And it’s true, God made her grow, and God made you grow. You can’t help it, and we can’t help it either. So we (your parents grandparents and teachers- all of us who love you) take comfort in this- the God who made you grow bigger will take care of you in the next stage of your life.
You know this already, I’m sure. We hope the years you have spent at White Creek have taught you these things- surely, God is gracious and merciful. Surely he will care for you. Surely He forgives sins, helps sinners, and cares for his children.
So we celebrate this milestone with you, trusting that God will continue to care for you. But, I have to ask this one thing of you. Please, don’t grow up too much. (It was Tuesday, when I was here for recess with my boys, that I saw you all playing duck duck goose. Perhaps this will not be a problem!)
As you learn responsibility, remember how to be a child- especially a child before God. Remember that you are welcomed into His presence, a loving Father welcomes His children with open arms. Remember to drink the pure milk of His Word, to gather together with your church family. Remember the needs of your soul, which you will never outgrow. Remember to be fed by Word and Sacrament as often as you possibly can. Remember that no matter how big and capable you become, you are free, before God and because of His grace, to be weak and loved.
Graduates, as we release you into your next stage of life, we know that we release you into the hands of God, the trustworthy, loving hands of God.
Surely goodness and mercy will follow you all of your days.
Congratulations, class of 2013.
Links, recommended
First, the funnies:
33 Teachers who got the last laugh
Loved this!
Worst End of School Year Mom Ever
This post has had me giggling all day. Love the reality, here. Moms, we were so awesome.... back in October.
Other posts I loved this week:
Here
my temptation is to look so far ahead that I forget that my feet are not where my eyes are. (Me too, Kristen.)
Love as a Reference Point
Let's face it, we need to know that what we do matters.
Two Funerals
On grief and true comfort
The Drop Box
Heart-breakingly beautiful. God use my hands to make a difference in this broken world, too.
End of the Year Interview Questions for kids
I updated this post from last year, and I look forward to interviewing my kids again this week!
And now, welcome summertime.
Tween Girls, flowers mid-bloom
Girlhood is the opening flower of womanhood. It has charms all its own. The wonderful blossoming of young, healthy girlhood, will ever be God’s great miracle in life’s garden.
Girlhood is like a half-open rose. We are charmed, both by the beauty of the bud and by the wonderful coloring of the rose.
We behold the familiar traits of childhood that have always charmed us and held our affections, but blended with these in ever changing variety are the graces and powers of womanhood.
--Beautiful Girlhood, by Mabel Hale, revised and expanded by Karen Andreola
-----------Remember to stop and admire your children, even if they are mid-bloom today.Do you have a 'tween daughter? Read more and suggest topics: Growing up Togehter
May 30, 2013
Wonderfully Made (Guest post by Angie Durnil)
Today, Angie Durnil joins us again- read on for some inspiration, weak and lovely ladies!
Wonderfully Made
Spring has sprung and with it the vibrant colors of my rose bush. Every year since I have planted the roses, I anxiously await their arrival. The bright fuchsia blossoms against the green leaves are so pretty and refreshing after the dull winter has passed. I welcomed the spring rains and warm weather early this year after the long, cold winter that has chilled even my spirit.
I didn't prune the bushes last fall. Instead I left the bare stems as a reminder of what will be, once the weather breaks. Now, the bushes have grown taller than me and very full, so much so, that I have had to tie them up to keep them from falling to the ground because they are so heavy with flower buds. The blossoms are exploding with color and it warms me to see God's creation.
God didn't just create the things in nature to behold. He also created each and every human, in His own likeness. He used just as much finesse in creating us as he created the plants and trees around us. So, why is it easier to marvel at the beauty in nature, than in our own selves? Why is it acceptable to stare in total amazement at the green grass, rolling hills, flowers and trees and see the beauty, and call it what it is; but stare in the mirror in disgust or contempt because things just don't look right? God made me for a purpose, and it may not be to win a beauty pageant, but He didn't take any less time to make me than He took to make the beauty queen.
Matthew 6:25-26 tells it beautifully. "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?"
Sin clouds our eyes with discontent and makes our minds distrust what is true and good. Instead we try to convince ourselves that we need to lose more weight, we need more makeup, we need more exercise or product or accessories. We tend to forget, that God created man and woman naked, and without diets and exercise equipment, and they were happy, that is, until Satan stepped in.
Much like Satan attacks me, the caterpillars have attacked my roses. So I have to protect them with Sevin or chili powder and garlic spray. The roses also have thorns to deter animals from munching on their leaves. My natural defenses are more awesome than chemicals. Whenever the lies fill my head, I turn to God, either in scripture or prayer. He tells me the truth and frees me from Satan. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
Pray for strength and wisdom in your struggles to be healthy, but don’t give up. That’s what Satan wants. Instead, honor your body with good food choices and exercise. It helps me to remember that God made me too, just as he carefully crafted the roses. If He cares for flowers that much, imagine the love and compassion He has for me! This creation should not be my undoing. It's time to stop listening to the lies that Satan is telling me. I need to remember God's word that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" and start believing the truth.
Fearfully and wonderfully made.
These.And you.
(This post is part of a series on living Weak and Lovely)
Wonderfully Made
Spring has sprung and with it the vibrant colors of my rose bush. Every year since I have planted the roses, I anxiously await their arrival. The bright fuchsia blossoms against the green leaves are so pretty and refreshing after the dull winter has passed. I welcomed the spring rains and warm weather early this year after the long, cold winter that has chilled even my spirit.
I didn't prune the bushes last fall. Instead I left the bare stems as a reminder of what will be, once the weather breaks. Now, the bushes have grown taller than me and very full, so much so, that I have had to tie them up to keep them from falling to the ground because they are so heavy with flower buds. The blossoms are exploding with color and it warms me to see God's creation.
God didn't just create the things in nature to behold. He also created each and every human, in His own likeness. He used just as much finesse in creating us as he created the plants and trees around us. So, why is it easier to marvel at the beauty in nature, than in our own selves? Why is it acceptable to stare in total amazement at the green grass, rolling hills, flowers and trees and see the beauty, and call it what it is; but stare in the mirror in disgust or contempt because things just don't look right? God made me for a purpose, and it may not be to win a beauty pageant, but He didn't take any less time to make me than He took to make the beauty queen.
Matthew 6:25-26 tells it beautifully. "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?"
Sin clouds our eyes with discontent and makes our minds distrust what is true and good. Instead we try to convince ourselves that we need to lose more weight, we need more makeup, we need more exercise or product or accessories. We tend to forget, that God created man and woman naked, and without diets and exercise equipment, and they were happy, that is, until Satan stepped in.
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Much like Satan attacks me, the caterpillars have attacked my roses. So I have to protect them with Sevin or chili powder and garlic spray. The roses also have thorns to deter animals from munching on their leaves. My natural defenses are more awesome than chemicals. Whenever the lies fill my head, I turn to God, either in scripture or prayer. He tells me the truth and frees me from Satan. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28Pray for strength and wisdom in your struggles to be healthy, but don’t give up. That’s what Satan wants. Instead, honor your body with good food choices and exercise. It helps me to remember that God made me too, just as he carefully crafted the roses. If He cares for flowers that much, imagine the love and compassion He has for me! This creation should not be my undoing. It's time to stop listening to the lies that Satan is telling me. I need to remember God's word that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" and start believing the truth.
.JPG)
Fearfully and wonderfully made.
These.And you.
(This post is part of a series on living Weak and Lovely)
May 28, 2013
Exercise (Weak and Lovely- Guest Post!)
Welcome, to today's guest-poster, Mary Anne Schneider!
Exercise
I have no motivation when it comes to exercise. I hate to exercise. A dozen or so work out videos sit collecting dust in my entertainment center. Billy Blanks, Cheryl Burke, Jillian Michaels, and Bob Harper (just to name a few) have promised fun, motivation, and a healthier lifestyle if I will follow their tried and true workout program. The last DVD I bought stayed in the wrapper for 4 weeks. Since its grand opening, I have used the video a total of two times.[image error]
Photo creditThis is my kind of exercise: LOL!
Research proves that exercise is good for you. According to the Mayo Clinic website, exercise can boost your mood, increase your energy, and lower your risk of disease, help you maintain a healthy weight, reduce stress, and improve sleep. All my friends seem to be doing it. I know I should do it, too. There are opportunities all around our community to become involved in exercise programs. I should not have any excuse not to be exercising. Why is it then that here I am, a little after 4:00 p.m., sitting on my couch with no intention of popping one of those 12 DVDs in the player?
Is it because I am on my feet most of the day at work? Around 3:00 p.m. my thoughts turn to my couch and sitting down. I can’t wait to set my toes free from my suffocating shoes and put my feet up. For some people it is a lack of extra time to fit in exercise. I should not use time as an excuse. I could fit it in if I really wanted to do it. Does anyone else fight this battle?
My challenge for the week:Make a list of exercises I could easily do. Include exercises that do not require extra work, money or extra effort to go somewhere.Exercise two times this week. (baby steps)Remind myself that I am worth the effort!
What is your favorite form of exercise? What motivates you to exercise?
Exercise
I have no motivation when it comes to exercise. I hate to exercise. A dozen or so work out videos sit collecting dust in my entertainment center. Billy Blanks, Cheryl Burke, Jillian Michaels, and Bob Harper (just to name a few) have promised fun, motivation, and a healthier lifestyle if I will follow their tried and true workout program. The last DVD I bought stayed in the wrapper for 4 weeks. Since its grand opening, I have used the video a total of two times.[image error]
Photo creditThis is my kind of exercise: LOL!
Research proves that exercise is good for you. According to the Mayo Clinic website, exercise can boost your mood, increase your energy, and lower your risk of disease, help you maintain a healthy weight, reduce stress, and improve sleep. All my friends seem to be doing it. I know I should do it, too. There are opportunities all around our community to become involved in exercise programs. I should not have any excuse not to be exercising. Why is it then that here I am, a little after 4:00 p.m., sitting on my couch with no intention of popping one of those 12 DVDs in the player?
Is it because I am on my feet most of the day at work? Around 3:00 p.m. my thoughts turn to my couch and sitting down. I can’t wait to set my toes free from my suffocating shoes and put my feet up. For some people it is a lack of extra time to fit in exercise. I should not use time as an excuse. I could fit it in if I really wanted to do it. Does anyone else fight this battle?
My challenge for the week:Make a list of exercises I could easily do. Include exercises that do not require extra work, money or extra effort to go somewhere.Exercise two times this week. (baby steps)Remind myself that I am worth the effort!
What is your favorite form of exercise? What motivates you to exercise?
May 26, 2013
Memorial day
From Abraham Lincoln:
As was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said "the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether."
Lincoln's Second Inaugural address (read it all here)
Read this too- and remember!
tiny flags with big meaning.
The things they carry
We don't understand, but we give thanks.
Memorial Mondays
My heart, remembering our army days.
As was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said "the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether."
Lincoln's Second Inaugural address (read it all here)
Read this too- and remember!
tiny flags with big meaning.
The things they carry
We don't understand, but we give thanks.
Memorial Mondays
My heart, remembering our army days.
May 25, 2013
best of this week
Recent favorites, in no particular order, for your reading enjoyment!
Motherhood
Succeeding in Just Being
Just being, not running everywhere and doing everything. Sounds like this mama is much better at this than I am!
The Death of the Generalist
On Motherhood: "I have the benefit of being the ultimate generalist: life is never boring, and I get to follow my passions and whimsies to see them benefit my family."
Children in church
know that your family - with all of its noise, struggle, commotion, and joy – are not simply tolerated, you are a vital part of the community gathered in worship.
Depression
Comfort
Jenny's advice for the days when there is no joy. And guess what (oh, the scandal!) she sees a therapist! I love how she describes this other way of receiving grace with skin on:
therapist – Yep, I said it. THER - A – PIST! That “shush-shush” word. That “Oh my, you’re not quite normal, are you?” word. There is a stigma that goes with seeing a therapist. A stigma that says I cannot handle my life on my own. I cannot cope. I need help. Funny thing is, that’s the same reason I go to church; the same reason I receive the Lord’s Supper; the same reason I receive absolution. Because I cannot deal with this earthly life on my own.
Splashing, Wading, Drowning
What depression feels like. I feel understood as I read this, even though it still makes no sense.
Faith and Life
Be of Good Cheer
There is nothing more annoying than forced cheerfulness. No, wait. Yes there is:genuine cheerfulness.
of bombs and tornados
Satan loves that feeling of panic. He thrives on the fear that causes your throat to constrict. He rejoices at the knot in your stomach.
Mortifying Mortification
In a particularly hilarious episode of "Mr. Bean," played by the elastic faced Rowan Atkinson, Mr. Bean attempts to wash and dress while driving to work with predictably humorous results. As laudable as being properly groomed and dressed for work might be, Mr. Bean simply cannot drive properly while putting on his pants. So it is for those who attempt to keep their eyes on their own piety instead of upon the Word of God. By focusing on their own righteousness they will easily fail to see the true righteousness of God in the Word of God. As laudable as scrutinizing our own behavior may be, it will easily get us entirely off the track and with a less humorous outcome than befalls Mr. Bean.
And just because, here's a picture of my girls' bedroom, all clean. With special thanks to Grammy Pammy for making it pretty.
And now, children be warned. Mama's dusting off the clutter jail!
Motherhood
Succeeding in Just Being
Just being, not running everywhere and doing everything. Sounds like this mama is much better at this than I am!
The Death of the Generalist
On Motherhood: "I have the benefit of being the ultimate generalist: life is never boring, and I get to follow my passions and whimsies to see them benefit my family."
Children in church
know that your family - with all of its noise, struggle, commotion, and joy – are not simply tolerated, you are a vital part of the community gathered in worship.
Depression
Comfort
Jenny's advice for the days when there is no joy. And guess what (oh, the scandal!) she sees a therapist! I love how she describes this other way of receiving grace with skin on:
therapist – Yep, I said it. THER - A – PIST! That “shush-shush” word. That “Oh my, you’re not quite normal, are you?” word. There is a stigma that goes with seeing a therapist. A stigma that says I cannot handle my life on my own. I cannot cope. I need help. Funny thing is, that’s the same reason I go to church; the same reason I receive the Lord’s Supper; the same reason I receive absolution. Because I cannot deal with this earthly life on my own.
Splashing, Wading, Drowning
What depression feels like. I feel understood as I read this, even though it still makes no sense.
Faith and Life
Be of Good Cheer
There is nothing more annoying than forced cheerfulness. No, wait. Yes there is:genuine cheerfulness.
of bombs and tornados
Satan loves that feeling of panic. He thrives on the fear that causes your throat to constrict. He rejoices at the knot in your stomach.
Mortifying Mortification
In a particularly hilarious episode of "Mr. Bean," played by the elastic faced Rowan Atkinson, Mr. Bean attempts to wash and dress while driving to work with predictably humorous results. As laudable as being properly groomed and dressed for work might be, Mr. Bean simply cannot drive properly while putting on his pants. So it is for those who attempt to keep their eyes on their own piety instead of upon the Word of God. By focusing on their own righteousness they will easily fail to see the true righteousness of God in the Word of God. As laudable as scrutinizing our own behavior may be, it will easily get us entirely off the track and with a less humorous outcome than befalls Mr. Bean.
And just because, here's a picture of my girls' bedroom, all clean. With special thanks to Grammy Pammy for making it pretty.
And now, children be warned. Mama's dusting off the clutter jail!
May 24, 2013
Five Minute Friday: View
Five Minute Friday
The word: VIEW
GO
How can a view be breathtaking and terrible all at once? Back and forth I go in my view. I see it clearly- how they grow and change, the wonders they are. I breathe in the fleeting moment, sad to think of the day when they will fly.
Then I something else clearly, so clear it is red.The elbow in the side, the tattle, the "he hit me," and "he did it first," the spitting of milk for the fun of it, the way I can't leave the room for thirty seconds without a fight or a broken something. The "I should be able to _____ without you guys doing _________ !" said in so many ways to little ears that don't care to hear.
I see red. Inconvenience, disobedience, and frustration, and it seems like that is all there is to see in this place.
And the that other view comes back. A preschool graduation, an old photo, and a repentant heart, and a mommy lap that welcomes the little ones while she still can.
God help me to number my days.
STOP
