Emily Cook's Blog, page 61

My Weakness/ His Strength #4: Kiddo, Will You Pray for Me?

To be fair, mothers, I don’t think this is entirely our fault, this tendency to think we are the Ultimate Need Meeters for our families and children. Our job starts out this way.
When I am expecting, a tiny child really is 100% dependent on me, and I am 100% required for his or her survival. The weight of it is on me, and there is nobody that can pick that job up for me, even for one minute, to give me a break.
My Weakness/His Strength:
See the whole series here Then, the little newborn comes and we find (normally) that things don’t change much. We can and do meet those little needs, and the baby seems to think we are still 100% essential to his or her survival. And I welcome that chubby needy thing into my arms, and I hear a contented sigh just because the arms are MINE, and I am in love. I like to be the one with the magical powers that can soothe the precious little one when nobody else can.
Honestly, I’d like things to stay this way. I’d like my children to have small needs forever, and I would like to be the one who meets those needs, forever. In other words (brutal honesty!) I’d like to be their god. I’ll provide all things for them, and they will praise me, and all will be well in the world.
God forgive me. (He does.)
Now that these thoughts are on paper, I can see clearly: this is impossible. I can’t meet all their needs, even if I wanted to, and really, I shouldn’t want to. They have God for that. He is the only perfectly dependable and loving need-meeter. He is the one who will keep His promise to never forsake them, Who is bigger than the evils they face, Who will give them their daily bread.
God’s dependability, not mine: this should be the source of security for my children.
I’d still rather be the strong one. I still squirm when I am brought low and I know I need to ask the little people to forgive me and pray for me. But when I do, I see their little hearts soften towards me, and I see them grow and learn:
He is the Rock. I am not.When you say “Mama is having a hard day today. Will you pray for me, honey?”Children learn:
Mom can’t meet all of my needs all the time.Mom needs God’s help to do what she does.God serves me through my mom and other people.I can serve my mom by praying for her and helping her.When people are struggling, they ask God and others for help.When I see others having a hard day, I should pray for them.Even moms are human, and humans need Jesus.
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Do you wish you could meet your little one’s needs forever?Have you ever received help from your little child on a bad day?What do you think children learn when they see mom with her needs hanging out like this?-------------Don't miss a thing! Follow Weak and Loved by Email, Facebook, RSS, or Twitter Join the conversation, and tell your friends!

My Weakness His Strength #3: The Heaviness of Motherhood

“I'm the Mom. I can't afford to be weak. I have so many responsibilities on my shoulders that if I am weak, well then...everything collapses.”-- Jenny, commenting on the first post in this series
How many of you relate to this pressure, this terrible pressure?

I know that pressure. I’m the mom, I can’t break down or everything will fall apart.
I have to be strong for their sakes. I have keep going, to hold this all together because if I don’t, then what? Sure, the stress is leaking out of the corner of my eyes and I’m counting the minutes until bedtime.
Sure I was just praying and crying in my room, but now I will wash my face and put on a smile while I make them lunch.

Oh, I know that pressure.
And I can’t tell you to shrug it off, either. I really wish I could. I wish I could tell  all of us that we can just take a break from being mom today, just ignore and neglect them, and it won’t really matter in the long run. I wish I could tell you that they are tough and they don’t really need mom as much as they think they do. I wish I could tell you to lighten up.

the weight of it!But it’s true. Being a mother is a heavy job.
We can’t just set it down and run away for a little while, until we feel healthy enough to pick it up again.
We have to do it sick, depressed, grieving, doubting. We have to do it with wounds and questions and unmet needs of our own.
Children are just so NEEDY.


What happens in your house when mom is needy, too?
In my house, it goes one of two ways:
1. I hide it, or at least I attempt to hide it.
I pretend I am fine, and get things done in a goat-like manner, barreling on through till bedtime, and letting my words and my attitude injure my family left and right along the way. I hope that I will just sleep it off, and if I do, I just excuse the whole thing as if it were acceptable under the heading “mama just had a bad day.” And I hope that their injuries are minor enough that they will forget them just as quickly.

2. I talk about it.
I can tell my family what is going on in my body or in my heart (if I know!) and I can ask for help. I can apologize for the little injuries, the unkind words spoken out of pain or exhaustion. I can ask for their help and their prayers. Yes, even the little people.

Brutal honesty here: #2 is a new concept to me, and I won’t pretend I chose it over #1 every time.
It sounds so nice on paper, so humble and honorable and easy… until it is time to actually DO it. When I’m the weak one, the one with the need (that my pride still tells me I shouldn't have in the first place,) fessing up to those around me seems impossible. It seems like something that takes entirely more courage than I actually have.

But Jesus says, “Let the little children come,” and you are one of those children. He says, “Come to me, and I will give you rest,” and He knows how to give rest to weary mothers. We may not receive that vacation on the beach that we think we need, but He will give us rest, through His Word, and through other people. (Accepting that second one- that’s the challenge, isn't it? Wait, the first one is not so easy either.)

Grace frees us to ask Him for help, and then to accept that help, even when it comes through other people. He has not given us one single thing to bear that we must bear alone.

Are you weary today?
Remember first, who you are in Christ. By grace you have been saved, and now, you are fully known and fully loved, even with the heaviness that you carry. Does the heaviness seem to inflame the sin and selfishness in your own heart? Bring that heart to Him, again, and hear Him welcome you.Second, remember who THEY are in Christ: those children you are loving and serving. Remember that God Himself has also committed to finish the work that He has begun in them. Yes, you are an important part of it, but the weight of it is on Him. He can use other hands and other means. His faithfulness is their hope, just as it is yours.Ask for help. Confess your sins and your need to God, and receive His grace through His Word and through the people around you. Let them see your need, so that they may help you with the gifts that God has given them.

Do you dare to admit it? [image error]

[image error] Click here to read the whole series


What do you think?
Do you feel this heavy pressure in your vocation?
What happens in your house when mommy is needy?
Do you need to let someone see your need today?



Coming up next:
What do children learn when they see mom’s weakness?


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Join the conversation, and tell your friends!

(Linking up with Kate  and Debi)

My Weakness/His Strength #2: 'Twas Grace That Showed My Heart Its Need

My husband and I worked in a nursing home while we were in college. 


Doris & EmilyWe were partners in the job and in ministry to the elderly people in that home. It was a tough job, but I loved it.  When one of us discovered a resident that needed an extra listening ear or a prayer, the other would double up on the “real” jobs so that could get done. It was in that nursing home that we met Agnes, dear Agnes, who taught us Luther’s evening prayer as we read her devotions to her at night:


Josh & "Grandma" Agnes doing nightly devotionsA young girl in my strength, I bounced around that nursing home meeting all the needs that I could. I loved working with my husband in this way. 
I love being the need-meeter.
But I don't always get to be the need-meeter:
(Weak and Loved.)


That time, he did not send me programs and jobs. He did not send me a fulfilling niche and an eager group of people to serve with my abundant talents and health.


Instead, trials.
We moved. 
We found out we were expecting baby #5. 
Then, seizures.


I found myself flattened.
Not need-meeting.
Instead, needy.


And I hated it.
Why? Because suffering hurts. 
It hurt my heart, and it hurt my pride.


Need: to be expected in other people. Forgivable. Part of being human. Nothing to be ashamed of. I’d be happy to help you with that, in fact.
But need in me? It can’t be! I must be doing something wrong! I must hide it, must toughen up, must get over it!
I should be above this!
(And there, right there, you see my ugly double standard and my pride.)
I want to be strong. I want to look strong.
But I was flattened by grief, flattened by the enormity of the trial, flattened by my own inability, and my own lack of love.


I had been running around thinking, "God loves the needy, and I do too! Aren't we a great team?!"
But it was there, flat on my face in a puddle of need, that I learned:


He loves the needy, including me.

Aggie’s sickness was not the first time I learned this. I learned it as a child. I learned it when I got married, and discovered a new layer of selfishness in my love for my husband. I learned it when I had my first baby. I learned it when my husband went to Iraq and I was a blubbering mess.

I’ll probably have to learn it again.
I am so glad my Lord is a patient teacher.


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Do you tolerate need in others but not in yourself?Does suffering hurt your heart AND your pride?
Have you ever been flattened?

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Grace and casseroles
My Weakness/His Strength Part 1: Grace Frees Me




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My Weakness/His Strength #1: Grace Frees Me

Join me this week for “My weakness, His strength,” a series of posts on the subject of weakness to encourage you to admit and accept your weakness and find comfort in the grace of God in Christ.


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Grace frees me to be the child that I am and to ask my Father for help.
What is grace?Grace: unmerited, unearned, undeserved favor of God. Grace, given through Jesus Christ, to sinners, even me.
Grace frees me.Grace frees us. Grace frees us to be honest.I have found that I waste entirely too much energy trying to hide my weaknesses, trying to make myself seem better or holier or stronger than I actually am.Being honest, brutally honest, is terrifying, and I think it is so terrifying that it would be impossible…but, God:
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— (Ephesians 2:4-5)
That acceptance I want?  That security I want?That approval from God? I already have it in Christ. I am fully known and fully loved. I do not have to hide any more. I do not have to downplay my weaknesses and exaggerate my strengths. I do not have to waste energy contorting my body and my spirit to make myself perfect, or to appear perfect.And neither do you, dear Christian.


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“Our justification does not depend on our piety and our spiritual performance but on Christ and His performance. We can therefore face up to our recurring failure to live as His holy people and people of prayer. In fact, our failure Is meant to teach us to ask for what we lack and receive everything from Christ.”(Grace Upon Grace, Kleinig, p. 39)
This week I’d like to explore this thought together with you, exploring what it means to be His free children, covered by the grace of God in Christ: what it means to be weak and loved.
What to expect this week:·         Daily blog posts on weakness and strength (beginning Monday)·         Brutal honesty and solid, Biblical encouragement in Christ·         Probing questions: I want to hear from you!
Let's get started! Do you try to hide your weaknesses? In what ways?Does the grace of God give you more confidence as you seek to be honest?It is easier to be honest with Him than it is with people? Why do you think that is?
Don't miss a thing! Follow Weak and Loved by Email, Facebook, RSS, or Twitter Join the conversation, and tell your friends!

If you liked this, you may also enjoy:Come here, KiddoMama Weak, Mama Loved

Messy Mommy Jobs (one more time)

Messes.
Here are a few in my life right now that I am ignoring:My basement, clothes to sortSchool stuff. (Can you believe I have the supply list already? One more month!)Writing stuff- digital fragments everywhere, and I just don't care. I don't trip over these.The yard, the weeds, and the outside toys. (It is just too hot. Over 100 degrees again today!)
Here are a few I am trying to tackle this month:The craft stuff in my dining room- it needs a home before it kills me.Finances (I hate this job.)Doctors appointments for the kids: I think somebody needs a physical or something.Piano- the girls need to start practicing again!
In the meantime, I am praying for rain and planning to dance in it with the kids if it ever comes. Also, I am writing like crazy. I hope you join me next week for a new devotional series:
If you've got it, flaunt it!
Our weakness, His strength.
Subscribe to Weak and Loved by Email so you don't miss a thing!

And now, a few more mess pictures, for your enjoyment.

A slide, but not just a slide!

A water slide!
I love how this mom uses the slide with the slip-n-slide!
Is he wearing socks? How cute!

My little guy on the slip-in-slide.He was not so sure about it!

You trust me?Another one from vacationWho in the world would give this child a roasting stick?!

Gather 'round grandkids!Grandpa made you some home made ice cream! 


Another idea from a fun mommy:
Pudding paint!

I think he loved it!
Play-dough mess

And this, just because it is adorable:Super-boy!

Super girl!(and her puppy!)


 Rollin' with it
And this could've been 1 doozy of a mess... luckily this was a clean roller.  

Another basementmom pretends not to notice :)(do you have a room like this?)

Black Boogers

So I have this daughter with a cold, or summer allergies, or something. She is contstantly blowing her nose, and leaving her tissues around. This time, she left her tissue box outside by the pool. Someone (a little brother) found a fountain pen and thought it should be inside the tissue box, with its cap off. Now and entire box of tissues has a big black blob of ink in the middle.
If the ink dries, they are SO still using these.Maybe. We'll try it out on one of the boys.-------------I know the messes in my own house will not be going away, and neither will my need to laugh at them with you. So keep taking pictures of your own messes and try to keep your sense of humor! I'll be asking you for them again in a few weeks!

Have you had any major messes this week? Which ones are you ignoring? Which ones are you trying to tackle?
Link up below, and please, visit my friends if you get a chance!

One Generation to Another: On the Blessings of Granparents

[image error] One of my favorite things about summer:The kids get to spend more time with their grandparents.

Grandparents have fresh patience, fresh ideas, and irrational, wonderful love for these children of mine.
Grandparents have cool toys:


Grandpas put up with 1000 questions from my question-askers.




Grandpas make the babies laugh.

Grandpas make the big kids, laugh, too,even at their own expense.

Grandpas drive trucks, scooters, boats, and 4-wheelers.


Grandparents think up great gameslike water-swinging:

Grandmas take time to sit in the sun,and watch the flotilla go by.

Grandmas teach children about flowers,and get excited over painted rocks.


Thank you, God, for the blessing of grandparents!---------------------------------
Do your kids spend extra time with the grandparents in the summer?
What do grandparents have that parents don't have?I'd love to hear from you!
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New series coming soon:

If you've got it, flaunt it!
Our weakness, His strength.
Subscribe by email so you don't miss a thing!Subscribe to Weak and Loved by Email

July 4th with Kids: Check Your Expectations

Watching the fireworks with children: it sounds like a good idea, doesn't it?It is a good idea,and it makes a beautiful memory...of sorts.
I'd like you to experience the fireworks with my family.Just for fun, read this post twice for two very different experiences.
#1 the Ideal ExperienceRead the words only in bold, and enjoy the beautiful pictures. Wonderful, isn't it?
#2 The Real DealNow browse the posts again and read the actual kid commentary.This is what it is like, with the audio track!
(I wish I could include the pokes and prods and climbing on and off my lap too, but you'll have to imagine that part.)

A boy and his boatwaiting for the big show

Hold my hand, mommy.Isn't it pretty?

Are not! Are too! Are NOT! Are TOO!(What, guys?)Fireworks are lightning, aren’t they mom?(no)
Yeah well the moon is a firework, too.Nuh-uh! Nuh- HUH!
Mommy can I go get that flare?When am I going to get another hair cut?
I see one!
Is it over yet?If a firework hits you, then you die.Mom do you die, or do you just get your face blown off?Or a leg or a head?
Haha, you’re gonna get your head blown off!
No I am NOT!

I don’t like the loud onesI like the loud ones!
That one made my heart jump!Mommy I’m scared can I snuggle you?
Mommy I’m not scared any more, so she can snuggle you now.NO, I said it first!Don't push me! I might fall off the dock!
Ooohhh 


I’m tired. Is it over yet?Maybe you should just go to sleep on the dock.No, I want my warm soft bed.Was that thunder? Are fireworks thunder?All of them are my favorite.Can we go out on the boat?
Those people are out on a boat. Can we go out on the boat, too?Someday can we have a boat and go out on it?Is it over? Maybe they  had to stop for a minute so they could go buy some more. Can we go out on the boat?

Ahhhh Is that a tranatula on the dock?Can I go catch some lightning bugs?
When I'm older I'm going to have a boat....
and I will go OUT in my boat.
I can’t catch the lightning bug. Will you catch one for me mom?Be careful on the dock.Don’t push!
I don’t want to jump in after you tonight!A floating lantern like in Tangled! Do we have a lantern? Why not? Can we go buy one?I want a lantern too! I want a flare!
Mommy, did you see that?




Hey that bird’s flying right through the fireworks!I bet he’s like, “Hey guys, watch this!” to his friends.(Marcus sit DOWN!)Is it over yet?Can we go to bed now?
YES.
------------------------------------------------A beautiful memory, indeed. Without the audio track.



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Do you take your children to watch the fireworks? What is it like?



New series coming soon:

If you've got it, flaunt it!
Our weakness, His strength.
Subscribe by email so you don't miss a thing!Subscribe to Weak and Loved by Email

Messy Mommy Jobs:: Where I've been (Mess photos & Link Up)

Where have I been all week?
Here:

Pretty Lake (Wolcotville, Indiana.)
Before you get too jealous, remember that I had my kids with me :)And that even the peaceful-looking picture above is only peaceful because there is no audio track.It was no quiet desert island, but it was fun!
My mess this week: post-vacation aftermath.Here's a glimpse:
The van (after almost 4 hours)(remember this is only the mess under 2 seats...)

The vanwith labels

(Do you have an emergency car box? You should.Come back later this week and I'll tell you what's in mine!)
My to-do list.unpack. wash.put stuff back where it goes.(Or, ignore it, put on a movie, and blog.)

The kitchen(sigh) I sighed at first, seeing only the lack of work space and the things that need to be put awayand quickly, because these little people are horrible about demanding THREE meals a day.
Sigh.But then...
Literally, as I was unloading the van,a dear friend dropped off some food.(party leftovers. I love this pastor's family perk!)
Those metal pans, all four of them, contain surprise blessingsthe kids' favorite: cakeand my favorites: macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoesand my son's favorites: burgers.
God provided dinner to remind me that He cares for me, right in the middle of the vacation aftermath.
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What picture above is your favorite?
How do you cope with vacation aftermath and living in chaos?
I'd love to hear from you!


Leave a comment or LINK UP below! (Don't forget to link back and/or grab my button- not required but appreticated!)  Links can be ANYTHING mess-related!
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(This will be second-to-last messy link-up for at least a month- One more next Monday, then I'm moving on to other ideas! Send me your pictures now so you don't miss the fun!)



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Poured out

photo credit
Typewriter, keyboard, whatever.It's true.Writing is the way I pour out my insides;how I grieve,and pray,and wrestle, and rejoice.
Have you read my book yet?


Weak and Loved: A Mother-Daughter Love Story by Emily Cook
 Now available on Amazon.com $9.99 kindle $4.99epub $4.99


Celebrating 3 years of seizure-freedom July 15!