Emily Cook's Blog, page 42
March 13, 2013
Compassion Fatigue: Just get back in bed already!
The scene: Little guy doesn't want to go to bed. He's scared, or so he says.
New motherWith genuine concern, mom scoops up her little dear, and coos sweet soothing things in his ear.
Wise motherShe is attentive and mildly concerned, but for her child’s good, she remains calm and cheerful as she comforts him, but also gives him firm direction to stay in bed. She knows that teaching her child to be tough is even better for him than offering a bandaid for every scrape.
Sucked-dry motherLittle guy screams, and mama’s teeth clench. She takes a deep breath and tries to fake proper compassion but she is obviously annoyed by the tears, the child, everything.
Mother #3 has compassion fatigue. And all too often I am her. The children press in on me with their needs, their (mostly) legitimate needs. And I try to meet them, and I fail, and I resent and pout about my failure. And still they need, and it is impossible, unfair, too much.
All too often it is not the situation itself that is so difficult.It’s how poorly I am handling it.
I trip over my failures, and make yet another mess that I have to clean up.
At this moment, I am writing my way through one such day. I need to breathe, to get my bearings.
What is true about this situation?Not how to do I feel, but what is true?
The truth: There are several children in my house, at various ages and with various needs. We just got back from vacation and life is in chaos. My husband is sick in bed. In short, my job is hard. My list is long, and my day is demanding.
I feel like this should be easier, though.. if only the kids were more cooperative, or if only I had more patience. But the truth is that we are all sinners, and life is messy, and no one small fix is going to change that. The truth is also that sometimes this very same situation would be easy for me. The truth is my body is tired, my house is a mess, and I have handicaps with me already as I begin to face this challenging day.
The truth: They need grace. I need grace. We need Jesus.
The truth: We have Jesus. I am accepted in Him, not because of what I do, but because of how much he loves.Though this is a hard day, His grace is sufficient.
I look for his provision of green pastures and relief. They may not come right when I ask for them, but He will provide help. He cares for me, even on days that are hard.
I will pray for sanity and help, and for perspective when the walls seem to be closing in on us. I will ask His help in fighting resentment and frustration. I will ask for his help in dealing with the interruptions, that I may see them not as personal attacks but as tasks assigned by Him, for which He will equip me.
The truth: What I need for the rest of this day, I do not have to find inside myself. He strengthens, He helps, He does the verbs.
[image error]May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness andtransferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.(col 1)
Patience, endurance, joy, not as much as I can find in my heart, nor given in accordance with my own goodness, but given as the Father loves to give- by grace alone.
And abundantly- in portions according to HIS glorious might.
God is good, even when my day is not.
Father,Today, my job is hard, and yet it feels ridiculous admitting this is so. I do not suffer as one persecuted, or sick, or under severe trial. I do not suffer like Jesus. And yet, this job in front of me is too much, too hard for my sinful nature to bear. I react in selfishness, I run out of love and compassion when compassion is still needed by those around me. Have mercy, Lord, and strengthen me according to Your might and power. Deliver me from the darkness of my own heart, forgive me, and renew me.
In the name of Jesus and according to Your Word,Amen
Suffering from compassion fatigue today?You will be encouraged by this post: Trumpet Needed
March 12, 2013
Homemade Soft Pretzels
This is one of our new favorite after-school snacks. I try to have the dough made before the kids come home. Then, they enjoy shaping them. Plus, the anticipation that comes from watching them bake is fun to observe!
First, here's the recipe: Homemade Soft PretzelsNote that this makes a LOT. I could have made half a batch and still had leftovers, even in our family of eight. Second, you need a thermometer. Much to my surprise, I found one in my drawer. I don't know where it came from or if I have ever used it before, but I was happy to discover it!
Here are some photos, for your enjoyment and inspiration. Seriously, MAKE THESE.
First, the stirring.
Beating up on the dough, instead of each other.
Then, the rolling of "worms" and shaping of pretzels.
Note that before you bake them, the pretzels should have nice sized gaps. They definitely get bigger.
Make them look like this:
If you don't they will look like this after they bake:
That assumes, of course, that you want them to look like pretzels.My kids were not so interested in that.
They made pretzel-cats.
And dogs.
And alligators.
Whatever.They tasted great.
The waiting is torture!
But worth it!
One final note- I did not have pretzel salt. I used regular salt. It worked fine.
Enjoy!
Come back next Tuesday for another great recipe!
Weak and Lovely- Read the series hereJoin our facebook group for extra support!
First, here's the recipe: Homemade Soft PretzelsNote that this makes a LOT. I could have made half a batch and still had leftovers, even in our family of eight. Second, you need a thermometer. Much to my surprise, I found one in my drawer. I don't know where it came from or if I have ever used it before, but I was happy to discover it!
Here are some photos, for your enjoyment and inspiration. Seriously, MAKE THESE.
First, the stirring.
Beating up on the dough, instead of each other.
Then, the rolling of "worms" and shaping of pretzels.
Note that before you bake them, the pretzels should have nice sized gaps. They definitely get bigger.
Make them look like this:
If you don't they will look like this after they bake:
That assumes, of course, that you want them to look like pretzels.My kids were not so interested in that.
They made pretzel-cats.
And dogs.
And alligators.
Whatever.They tasted great.
The waiting is torture!
But worth it!
One final note- I did not have pretzel salt. I used regular salt. It worked fine.
Enjoy!
Come back next Tuesday for another great recipe!
Weak and Lovely- Read the series hereJoin our facebook group for extra support!
March 11, 2013
Weekly Challenge: Get in the Picture
Can I tell you what I see here? And can I be brutally honest?
I see "not photogenic."I see weight to loose and stubborn pimples and a bad angle.
But you know what my son sees?
The night he drove his first car- on the race track at Disney World. And his mom there with him, sharing in the Best Night Ever.
("Mom, now that you know I can drive one of these, you really should buy me one.")
And you know what? I'm learning to see things more like my son sees. (Read this article- The Mom Stays in the Picture)
Moms, it is so easy to be hard on ourselves, especially as we struggle with our weight and our health. It is easy to see ourselves AS those struggles (and failures!) It is tempting to hide, hide from public, or at least hide from the camera, until we lose that weight or fix that problem.
But our children and those who love us-- they care far less than we do about all that.They want to be with us now-- to make memories with us, now.They love us now, extra weight and pimples and all.
They love us, now. Today.
Remember this, friends, as you work to get healthier.
You are lovely, loved.
So, please, just get in the picture.
Your challenge this week
Read this article:The Mom Stays in the PictureAnd
Get in the picture!!!
My big boy forgot to be a big boy on the bus,
and he fell asleep in my arms like a little baby.
So glad I was there to hold him.
I'd love to see some of your pictures this week! Email me or post them to my facebook page!
Do you hide from the camera?
Remember, you can read the rest of the series here,
and join the facebook group for extra support!
I see "not photogenic."I see weight to loose and stubborn pimples and a bad angle.
But you know what my son sees?
The night he drove his first car- on the race track at Disney World. And his mom there with him, sharing in the Best Night Ever.
("Mom, now that you know I can drive one of these, you really should buy me one.")
And you know what? I'm learning to see things more like my son sees. (Read this article- The Mom Stays in the Picture)
Moms, it is so easy to be hard on ourselves, especially as we struggle with our weight and our health. It is easy to see ourselves AS those struggles (and failures!) It is tempting to hide, hide from public, or at least hide from the camera, until we lose that weight or fix that problem.
But our children and those who love us-- they care far less than we do about all that.They want to be with us now-- to make memories with us, now.They love us now, extra weight and pimples and all.
They love us, now. Today.
Remember this, friends, as you work to get healthier.
You are lovely, loved.
So, please, just get in the picture.
Your challenge this week
Read this article:The Mom Stays in the PictureAnd
Get in the picture!!!
My big boy forgot to be a big boy on the bus, and he fell asleep in my arms like a little baby.
So glad I was there to hold him.
I'd love to see some of your pictures this week! Email me or post them to my facebook page!
Do you hide from the camera?
Remember, you can read the rest of the series here,
and join the facebook group for extra support!
March 3, 2013
Weekly Challenge: Rest
Sometimes I reheat my coffee 4 times before I finally drink it. The same cup.
Why?
Because the urgent needs never stop.
The onslaught of urgent needs faced by a mother is tremendous.
They pester us, nag us, guilt us, and we respond by moving, working, running through our days trying to get stuff done.
One day, a child was sick. He was so sick, he needed his mother. He begged me, he forced me to nap with him.
He forced me to rest. And that's what it felt like, truly, because my list was long.
And yet, God forced me to lay down in the afternoon.
And I wiggled and sighed in the grip of my vocation, next to my son on the bed. The needs of my sick child trumped the urgent mess in the kitchen, so I did what I had to do, grudgingly. Until his tiny snores caused me to look at his sleepy face. My eyes saw my son, comforted, and my body melted under the blankets.
And I rested.
How often I forget, that God is kind and good, making us rest, and promising our rest.
And rest is good for both body and soul.
Your challenge this week:
Rest.
Take a nap.
Rest.
Remember, we are weak and lovely. Wonderfully Made.
Our goal is not merely pounds lost, but health. And healthy bodies need rest.
Need some inspiration to rest?
Are you like me, and you find it difficult to just stop, even when the work is not done?
Please, read this post:
The trouble with rest
Do you find it hard to rest?Leave your thoughts in the comments!
Remember, you can read the rest of the series here,
and join the facebook group for extra support!
photo credit the shaky baker
Why?
Because the urgent needs never stop.
The onslaught of urgent needs faced by a mother is tremendous.
They pester us, nag us, guilt us, and we respond by moving, working, running through our days trying to get stuff done.
One day, a child was sick. He was so sick, he needed his mother. He begged me, he forced me to nap with him.
He forced me to rest. And that's what it felt like, truly, because my list was long.
And yet, God forced me to lay down in the afternoon.
And I wiggled and sighed in the grip of my vocation, next to my son on the bed. The needs of my sick child trumped the urgent mess in the kitchen, so I did what I had to do, grudgingly. Until his tiny snores caused me to look at his sleepy face. My eyes saw my son, comforted, and my body melted under the blankets.
And I rested.
How often I forget, that God is kind and good, making us rest, and promising our rest.
And rest is good for both body and soul.
Your challenge this week:
Rest.
Take a nap.
Rest.
Remember, we are weak and lovely. Wonderfully Made.
Our goal is not merely pounds lost, but health. And healthy bodies need rest.
Need some inspiration to rest?
Are you like me, and you find it difficult to just stop, even when the work is not done?
Please, read this post:
The trouble with rest
Do you find it hard to rest?Leave your thoughts in the comments!
Remember, you can read the rest of the series here,
and join the facebook group for extra support!
photo credit the shaky baker
March 1, 2013
Giving up or slowing down
[image error]
Because it’s Lent, the topic of fasting has come up again.
We look skeptically at those who are giving up meat, we laugh at those who are trying to give up cursing, and we feel uncomfortable around those who are giving up something we love, like sugar or internet.
Why give something up? Is that really necessary? Is it even good or will it just turn you into a skinny, judgmental hypocrite?
Scripture seems to assume that Christians will fast, but how, why, and what for?
Below are my notes after our Bible study discussion on this topic.
First, and most importantly We are already loved, forgiven, restored in Christ.We already have Jesus' A+ in all good works, including fasting.
We thank God that He has provided ALL that we need for salvation- our account is 100% paid for. We are free, living in grace by grace.
We do not fast to earn anything from God.
Don't fast for these reasons
- to earn points with God- to impress your friends- to obey someone else's rules or expectations- to prove to yourself and others that you are a good Christian- to twist God's arm- to find out how awesome you really are if you just put your mind to it
Though we are fully forgiven and restored, we are aware that our old man draws us downward like gravity, and that our vision is so easily clouded by the cares of this life. Fasting can help us refocus and fix our eyes on Jesus.
If a Christian fasts, he may choose to do so for one or more of the following reasons
- to train the body (exercise the "no" muscle")- to simplify life and focus on God and His Word- to remind oneself that Jesus is what truly satisfies, not one thing in the world, but Christ- to interrupt "normal" and refocus on what is True and Eternal- to remind oneself that sin is serious- to remind oneself that he is mortal, dependent, and utterly reliant on God.- to free up money for giving and time for praying or reading God's Word
“Instead of a fast, we should call it a slow.” Said Greg Kokul of Stand to Reason.
Yes, a slow. Lent is a time to slow down and refocus on the most important things.This is incredibly difficult for me, but worth doing, I think.
Scripture on fasting Matthew 6: 16-17“And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 17 But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
1 Corinthians 9: 24-27Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.
I also liked this article:On fasting
Have you ever done a fast, or a “slow?”I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic!
photo credit ecodomestica
Because it’s Lent, the topic of fasting has come up again.
We look skeptically at those who are giving up meat, we laugh at those who are trying to give up cursing, and we feel uncomfortable around those who are giving up something we love, like sugar or internet.
Why give something up? Is that really necessary? Is it even good or will it just turn you into a skinny, judgmental hypocrite?
Scripture seems to assume that Christians will fast, but how, why, and what for?
Below are my notes after our Bible study discussion on this topic.
First, and most importantly We are already loved, forgiven, restored in Christ.We already have Jesus' A+ in all good works, including fasting.
We thank God that He has provided ALL that we need for salvation- our account is 100% paid for. We are free, living in grace by grace.
We do not fast to earn anything from God.
Don't fast for these reasons
- to earn points with God- to impress your friends- to obey someone else's rules or expectations- to prove to yourself and others that you are a good Christian- to twist God's arm- to find out how awesome you really are if you just put your mind to it
Though we are fully forgiven and restored, we are aware that our old man draws us downward like gravity, and that our vision is so easily clouded by the cares of this life. Fasting can help us refocus and fix our eyes on Jesus.
If a Christian fasts, he may choose to do so for one or more of the following reasons
- to train the body (exercise the "no" muscle")- to simplify life and focus on God and His Word- to remind oneself that Jesus is what truly satisfies, not one thing in the world, but Christ- to interrupt "normal" and refocus on what is True and Eternal- to remind oneself that sin is serious- to remind oneself that he is mortal, dependent, and utterly reliant on God.- to free up money for giving and time for praying or reading God's Word
“Instead of a fast, we should call it a slow.” Said Greg Kokul of Stand to Reason.
Yes, a slow. Lent is a time to slow down and refocus on the most important things.This is incredibly difficult for me, but worth doing, I think.
Scripture on fasting Matthew 6: 16-17“And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 17 But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
1 Corinthians 9: 24-27Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.
I also liked this article:On fasting
Have you ever done a fast, or a “slow?”I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic!
photo credit ecodomestica
February 27, 2013
my "why's"
Why get healthy?
Why learn, and change, and be kind to your body?
Your "Weak and Lovely" challenge this week was to remind yourself why. And I'll share my list with you in a moment. But first, I want to get out the why-nots. Change is hard, and we can acknowledge that.
Why I don't want to make healthy choices
It's easier to just keep doing what is easiest.Change requires more thought and planning. I risk cooking a meal that my family will not like. I'll have to listen to complaints while knowing I have wasted money.I really like cheese. And coffee. (not together.)I don't want to learn moderation.I like handing my kids a bag of treats, hearing their gratitude, and knowing they will be cheerfully eating their treats for ten happy minutes (even if the treats are a bag of sugar coated chemical puffs.)The more I learn, the more I want to avoid processed foods- but then I wonder, when is this going to end? Must I really raise my own meat or figure out a way to live on wheatgrass?Self control is exhausting. Again, it is SO much easier to keep doing what is easiest.
Ok, now here's the other list, for me.
Why Bother?
My body is a gift from God and a temple of the Holy Spirit. This means that I ought to treat it with special care. It also means that, by grace, God is in me and will help me. (God help me be kind to my body today! Make me want to, and help me remember why!)
When I am kind to my body, I am more likely to be a fun and energetic mommy.When I make healthy choices, I am more cheerful, and I feel good.When I feel good, I have more patience and a better relationship with my dear children.When I exercise, I sleep better. When I am full of sleep, the whole world looks better.When I serve my family a healthy meal, the food actually nourishes those precious bodies that I love. I like knowing that I have a hand in that.When I fill the fridge with fruit and veggies, the kids eat them! (They really do! I am shocked!)When I exercise, my head is clearer and I am less vulnerable to depression.When I exercise, my thoughts are more organized. I can think and write more effectively.When I make healthy choices, I get more done in a day.When I make healthy choices, I set a good example for my children.When I make healthy choices, I am less prone to sickness and diabetes.When I make healthy choices, I have more clothes to wear and I look better and feel better about my looks.When I make healthy choices, I am a better wife.When my body is cared-for, I can serve others better. I am able to be more faithful to my vocations.When I exercise, I burn off stress in a healthy way. This is good for me and for my family!When I care for my body, it works better and allows me to enjoy life more.
Lord, thank you for the gift of health and this amazing body. Thank you for using it to bear six children, for sustaining it through these past thirty years, for all the things it has allowed me to do. Teach me to be a good steward of this body. Help me to tenderly care for it even as you have taught me to care for my children. Help me to make good choices that will keep my body working well, as much as it is in my ability. Teach me to love the foods that give me health and energy, and help me use self control in eating. Thank you for making me a wife and a mother, and for equipping me for my daily tasks. Continue to use me to love and serve Your children as long as you desire, only sustain me in body and spirit throughout my days on earth. Amen.
P.S. Writing this post made me really hungry.
God help me be kind to my body today! Help me to make my next choice a healthy one!
What is on your lists?
What's hardest for you about healthy change? Why do you bother?
photo credit findley chiropractic
February 26, 2013
Loaded Baked Potatoes
Loaded Baked Potatoes
from Samantha Shivler Young Another simple meal I make that my family loves is loaded baked potatoes.
I use medium sized potatoes, not the giant Russet bakers you'd get at a steakhouse.Wash the potatoes, poke holes with a fork, and wrap in aluminum foil if you're using the oven, or put as is in the microwave.
They'll take about 40-50 minutes in an oven set at 350 depending on size. (I like to throw them in with something else I am making such as bread or an apple crisp so I'm not just running the oven for 6 potatoes).
Microwaves can vary greatly, but 4-6 minutes for one potato is a decent guide, adding approximately 2 minutes for each additional potato.
Test their doneness by squeezing them (wearing an oven mitt). If they're tender and squishable, they should be ready.
Meanwhile, steam frozen (or fresh) broccoli, and if you have a bunch of carnivores (i.e.- men), cook up some bacon.
I top mine with 1 tsp. butter, 1/2 cup broccoli, 1/2 oz. shredded cheddar cheese, and 2 crumbled bacon slices. Using the my fitness pal calculator, it runs about 300 calories, with 33 carbs, 14 fat, 14 protein, 15 calcium, and 13 iron. You can adjust it to what your body needs by using turkey bacon, or using different toppings.
Come back next Tuesday for another great recipe!
Weak and Lovely- Read the series hereJoin our facebook group for extra support!
February 25, 2013
Weekly Challenge: Remind yourself WHY
Are you still trying to make healthy changes?
So am I. A few of the changes have been fun and rewarding, like finding new recipes the family loves, and starting to see the benefits of exercise.
But sometimes, it is hard to remember why I'm doing this-- like when we all get sick, or when I feel too tired to cook something that requires my brain and attention. I'm still learning, and because I am still learning, cooking real food and healthy food does not seem easy or natural.
My kitchen is not running on auto-pilot.
After a period of learning and planning, it will get easier, I know it will. I will have a stockpile of healthy convenience foods in my freezer for our difficult weeks. I will know what staples I need, and prepare them regularly without thinking about it. I will feel like we've been eating this way forever.
But I'm not there yet.
And some days, I want to forget the whole thing.
Personally, I think occasional fast food, processed foods, or treats are really not a big deal. We live in America, after all. We would have to check out of our culture completely to avoid these things in our diet, and I'm simply not willing to do that.
As the Queen of my Kitchen, I am allowed to bend my own rules, and I think that, too, is healthy. But bending the rules often leads to a flood of cravings or temptation for convenience, in my children and in me as well. But as Queen, it is my job to keep our family on course, even after a holiday.
And I will be incapable of doing just that, if I cannot remember why I should.
This week's challenge:
Remind yourself why
Have you ever stopped at the grocery store in front of something delicious, thinking,
Why did I stop buying this or eating that?
It looks so good, I just can't remember!
I need help remembering, lots of help, especially when I am tired or hungry. I need God's help, and I need to be retold what He's already taught me.
So my challenge to you this week, as we continue to learn to be kind to our bodies, is to remind yourself why. Sit down for ten minutes and make a nice long list.
I'll post mine on Wednesday.
Why are you trying to be kind to your body?
If you are stuck, here are some prompts that might inspire you.
God, help me be kind to my body. And help me to want to. And help me to remember why.
When I am kind to my body, I ...
When I make healthy choices, I....
When I exercise, I ...
When I have extra energy, I ...
Weak and Lovely- Read the series here
Join our facebook group for extra support!
photo credit worksmartmomtreprenuers
So am I. A few of the changes have been fun and rewarding, like finding new recipes the family loves, and starting to see the benefits of exercise.
But sometimes, it is hard to remember why I'm doing this-- like when we all get sick, or when I feel too tired to cook something that requires my brain and attention. I'm still learning, and because I am still learning, cooking real food and healthy food does not seem easy or natural.
My kitchen is not running on auto-pilot.
After a period of learning and planning, it will get easier, I know it will. I will have a stockpile of healthy convenience foods in my freezer for our difficult weeks. I will know what staples I need, and prepare them regularly without thinking about it. I will feel like we've been eating this way forever.But I'm not there yet.
And some days, I want to forget the whole thing.
Personally, I think occasional fast food, processed foods, or treats are really not a big deal. We live in America, after all. We would have to check out of our culture completely to avoid these things in our diet, and I'm simply not willing to do that.
As the Queen of my Kitchen, I am allowed to bend my own rules, and I think that, too, is healthy. But bending the rules often leads to a flood of cravings or temptation for convenience, in my children and in me as well. But as Queen, it is my job to keep our family on course, even after a holiday.
And I will be incapable of doing just that, if I cannot remember why I should.
This week's challenge:
Remind yourself why
Have you ever stopped at the grocery store in front of something delicious, thinking,
Why did I stop buying this or eating that?
It looks so good, I just can't remember!
I need help remembering, lots of help, especially when I am tired or hungry. I need God's help, and I need to be retold what He's already taught me.
So my challenge to you this week, as we continue to learn to be kind to our bodies, is to remind yourself why. Sit down for ten minutes and make a nice long list.
I'll post mine on Wednesday.
Why are you trying to be kind to your body?If you are stuck, here are some prompts that might inspire you.
God, help me be kind to my body. And help me to want to. And help me to remember why.
When I am kind to my body, I ...
When I make healthy choices, I....
When I exercise, I ...
When I have extra energy, I ...
Weak and Lovely- Read the series here
Join our facebook group for extra support!
photo credit worksmartmomtreprenuers
February 23, 2013
February 22, 2013
Healthy Beauty, for little girls
Welcome to today's guest blogger, Gina Gallutia!She is contributing today as part of the series on Growing up with my 'tween.Today's topic: Modesty
Modesty is relative. Now before you stop reading because you think I’m a crazy, liberal hippy, give me a sentence or two more.
In Jane Austen’s day, low, low, low cut dresses were the norm, totally modest. Today, not so much. There was a time when guys would get excited to see the flash of an ankle from underneath layers of petticoat and skirt. Today, not so much. And well, there’s those ladies in Africa who, well, it’s hot there. So yes, modesty is culturally relative. What’s not is an immodest or modest mindset.
There were probably girls who took the ankle-flashing too far. And there were Elizabeth Bennetts who had no intention other than looking nice when they wore dresses that seem to us as though a “wardrobe malfunction” could happen at any moment. Which brings us to the question of the day:
What is your intention when you get dressed? What’s your mindset?
We are the primary models of healthy or unhealthy modesty to our children. Remember back to your childhood and the influence of how your mother looked or how she spoke to you about modesty had on your clothing choices. Many of us dress in response to a notion we picked up as children or beyond. And many of those weren’t healthy ones. Sadly, I’ve known great deal of women who dress “modestly” (aka dowdily) because of a moment or more of molestation in their past, and women who flaunt every inch of their bodies for the same reason. So before we can impart a healthy idea of dress to our young ones, we need to examine our reasons and possibly come to healthier conclusions.
And as we contemplate deeply the idea of dress, one thought should remain at the forefront: God made our bodies and He made us in His image.
Beauty and Beauty
He is Beauty, which means that we are beautiful and should reflect that to the world.
We should reflect Him. Especiallyas women, we are called to bring beauty, to bring life, to our particular area of influence through our thoughts, expressions, actions, and adornments.
Once we have this clear, then we can prayerfully pass on a healthy concept of modesty to our dearest of dear daughters. But as you do, remember, that God made her her and you you. So she may not dress in kindred ways, but as long as she is glorifying Him and dressing for the right reasons, then you are blessed indeed.
---------Comments from Emily:Gina, girl, you make me think, and I'm not sure I like it! What's my intention when I get dressed? What's my mindset? It is usually something like this:
What is nearby that I can throw on so I can get to the coffee pot faster?
Beauty seems like an indulgence that busy mothers just can't afford! But wait, let me be a little more honest and say it this way: beauty is simply not something I care to think about these days, and I have a wonderful house full of good excuses to make that seem ok.
And I think this mindset of mine has consequences.This topic is worth exploring more fully.
Expect some follow up Q and A between Gina and Queen Frumpy (me.)
What questions or comments do you have on the topic of modesty and beauty?
