Sage Marlowe's Blog, page 30

Tuesday Teaser: Lori King (guest)

Today's Tuesday Teaser is the fabulous Lori King with some inside info about her Gray Pack series - and a sexy excerpt! Oh, and do check out her blog, because one of Lori's many talents is writing beautiful poems. Her "Hiding From Myself" made my eyes all teary...



Hello to all of Sage’s readers, and thanks for stopping by to meet me! I’m Lori King, an erotic romance author with Siren-Bookstrand. Currently, I have two books out and they are the first two books in my paranormal series The Gray Pack. They follow a pack of werewolves who live outside of Kansas City, and work hard to keep the secret of their true nature from the humans that surround them.
My hero’s are usually very Alpha, and my heroine’s vary from submissive to feisty. They all have baggage, because let’s face it, we all have baggage, and they have real emotions involved. I write about men with a passion for their women that will stand the test of time, and women who melt when their men come close. Let me share by stories with you…





 


In Book 1, Fire of the Wolf, readers will meet identical twins Devin and Damon Gray, the Alphas of The Gray Pack, and firemen at the Kansas City fire department. These two always put family first, until they rescue the woman destined to be their mate from a burning building. Now, how to tell a human woman that she’s predestined to live the rest of her life as a werewolf, and married to TWO men….
http://bookstrand.com/fire-of-the-wolf



 


In Book 2, Reflections of the Wolf, we pick up where we left off with Liam Gray, cousin and Beta wolf to Devin and Damon. He gets smacked in the face with a human mate himself, but this woman has no interest in what he has to offer. Tina Jameson has wiped her hands of men, after her fiance is killed in a random act of violence, so when Liam makes an announcement to the world that she will be his mate…well the sparks fly in more ways than one!
http://bookstrand.com/reflections-of-the-wolf


Here’s a quick excerpt from Tina and Liam’s story:
“She’s okay, Liam. She’s just exhausted and overwhelmed. Give her some breathing room.” Tina could hear another man’s voice talking to Liam, but she couldn’t seem to make her eyes open to see who it was.
“Why did she pass out then?” Liam’s voice was annoyed, and she thought she heard him growl a bit. Damn, that was sexy.
“Who knows why women faint? What were you guys talking about?” A third masculine voice spoke.
“Shit.” Liam muttered. “I told her she was my mate. I didn’t mean to scare her.”
Tina could just imagine the look on Liam’s face right now. She understood that Caroline believed in this whole mating thing, and that was fine for her life, but Tina wasn’t interested in a serious relationship. She had lived through her share of heartache when it came to men, and the pain just wasn’t worth it anymore.
She took a deep breath and forced her eyes open a crack. Instantly Liam and two other men were leaning over her. What the hell did they feed these men? They were enormous and gorgeous!
“Oh my God, I’ve died and gone to single women’s heaven,” she said, moaning and then blushing when the two new men laughed, and Liam frowned. “Who are you guys?”
“Hey, Sweet Tina, nice and easy now. How are you feeling?” Liam’s eyes held compassion, concern, and a glimmer of apprehension. A gentle tug of desire shot through her body at his soft endearment. He helped her sit up, scooting to sit behind her to brace her back against his chest. She was now between his outstretched thighs with her head tucked just under his chin and his arms around her protectively.
“Like a werewolf beat the shit out of me,” she grumbled, and all three men laughed. She felt Liam relax against her a little bit. He rested his hands on her flat tummy, and his thumbs rubbed tiny circle patterns through the T-shirt she wore. She could feel sparks shoot across her skin, and she grimaced in her mind. Her body sure wanted a relationship with him.
“Good. I was afraid you were just going to say fine or something silly like that.” His amusement rippled through her, making her smile.
“Hi, Tina. I’m Rafe Whetstone. This is my brother Ryley.” He indicated the beautiful godlike creature standing next to him. “We were quite impressed with your show of bravery in there, but you better take it easy for a bit. If your back gets worse, Liam will get you to the doctor. You hit that wall really hard when he threw you. And now with you passing out on us like that, it makes me wonder about your head. Is it hurting?” Rafe looked like a Viking warrior with golden-blond hair that was a little shaggy and electric-blue eyes that seemed to assess her in one lazy sweep. She shivered at the look of interest heating his gaze and instinctively pressed backward into Liam. His arms tightened around her possessively.
“Yes, but I took a baseball bat to the back of it a few hours ago, so it’s to be expected. I think my head hurts more now because it’s trying to process all of this…umm…this werewolf love story my best friend is apparently living.” She rubbed her temples trying to ease the ache. Liam’s strong hand moved to the base of her neck and started massaging the tension away. She groaned softly, and Ryley laughed loudly.
“Yeah, well, if Liam has his way, you will be living your own shortly. We have to go talk with Dev and Damon. Take care of your girl, Liam. I wouldn’t want to have to sweep her away from you and make her fall in love with me.” Ryley winked at Tina, and Liam growled a threat.
“Oh, pumpkin, that’s sweet, but I’m just not sure there is a man alive that’s qualified for that job,” she said, smiling sweetly at Ryley as he and the others laughed.
“Oh brother, you’re going to have your hands full with this little spitfire. Good luck!” Ryley teased Liam, and Tina’s eyes narrowed at him.
“He won’t have to worry about me shortly,” she grumbled, but the pressure increased from Liam’s hands, and a low moan escaped her throat. All three men ignored her implied threat, and it grated her nerves.
Ryley really was very sexy. He matched his brother in golden looks, but he kept his hair much longer. It brushed the tops of his shoulders, and his eyes were just a touch lighter than Rafe’s with flecks of green in them. It seemed all of the firemen of Battalion One were flirts with bodies built on Olympus. She would have to see about spending more time with Caroline if this was the company she was keeping.
She watched the two Viking warriors walk away and had to swallow hard at the sight of their tight butts. Wow, maybe I hit my head harder than I thought. She chided herself for drooling over those two men when the one that really scared her was holding her in his arms. Worrying now about what Ryley had said, she fidgeted in Liam’s grip. Liam couldn’t really believe that she was his mate, could he? Goose bumps prickled over her skin when Liam kissed the nape of her neck where he had been gently massaging.
“Are they family, too?” she asked Liam curiously.
Liam tensed before replying. “Yes, they are my adopted brothers. You can trust them. Well, you can trust them with your life, but Ryley won’t ever stop trying to get into your pants.”
She laughed out loud and felt a surge of feminine confidence. “I’m sure I will enjoy his attempts.”
Liam growled behind her, and she stilled in his arms. That was definitely a possessive growl if she had ever heard one. Turning to look back over her shoulder with narrowed eyes, she took in his jealous frown and huffed with irritation. After a few moments of glaring at each other in silence, he sighed and relaxed, and she couldn’t help but smile at her victory. She wouldn’t tolerate being told who to spend time with, no matter who it was.
 
 
The Gray Pack is an ongoing series, and Legacy of the Wolf (Book3) should be out after the New Year! I hope you’ll pick them up at http://bookstrand.com/lori-king, and fall in love with these Alpha werewolves the way I have!
Keep track of my progress on future books by following me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Lori.King.Author
OR follow my Blog for other works I’ve written from erotic teasers to poetry and random thoughts
http://www.lorikingbooks.wordpress.com
 
Thanks Sage for sharing your blog for a day!
 
Don’t forget to Live, Laugh, and Love like today is your only chance!~Lori
 
 

Threesomes

Threesomes are popular these days. At least in literature. And it makes you wonder, doesn't it? I think the fascination is understandable. Even in the happiest of relationships, who doesn't sometimes wish for their partner to show a different set of character traits? Show just that little bit more enthusiasm to go out for long walks with you. Appreciate a cuddle on the sofa. Enjoy horror movies as much as you do. There's bound to be something where you're interests just don't match, and that's where another, a second, partner might come in handy.
Not to mention the sex. Enjoying the attention of two lovers simultaneously? Blows your mind... But my question is, does it work? Can it work? Most people I know either believe in monogamous relationships, i.e. two people together, or they're single and looking for The One. What does it take to realise that the one person you're with is not enough and how do you go about finding a third? Or what if you're in a working relationship and suddenly there's someone else? Would you take the risk to include him/her? How big is the chance that your partner will feel attracted to that other person, too, fall in love with them, even?  Admittedly, I'm raising more questions than giving answers today, but these were the questions on my mind while writing Triple Trust, a story about three men who come to understand that sometimes, two just aren't enough. I believe I found some answers to my question as I followed Cole, Seth and Dylan along their bumpy and painful way to love and if you'd like, you can walk that road with them.


When trust doesn't come easy and two can't make it work, then three might be just what it takes to create the perfect relationship.
When Dylan Mitchell hires the indecently beautiful part-time fidelity tester and full-time cynic Cole Peckham to find out how loyal his boyfriend Seth Knowles really is, he is ready to expect the worst. What he doesn't expect is the immense temptation Cole presents to him—and to Seth. Or the instant attraction Cole feels for both of them.
Deeply disappointed by Dylan's lack of trust, Seth leaves Dylan both single and heartbroken, but free to turn to Cole for comfort.
A cruel twist of fate soon requires Cole to put much more into this fresh relationship than he'd bargained for. While he is determined to give his best, it looks like Dylan might need more than Cole can give him—especially since Dylan is still in love with Seth. But when two can't make it work, three might be just what it takes to create the perfect relationship…
  

Publisher’s site: www.bookstrand.com/triple-trust
Also available from Amazon & Barnes and Noble, as e-book and in print

Sage Is Out

   I'm having a rare day out today as I'm frollicking with four seduced muses - wanna step by and say hello?  http://fourseducedmuses.blogspot.com

The Beauty of Independent Body Parts

His hands reached out, eager to caress and stroke, searching for the tempting warmth and the silk of his lover’s smooth skin.
Sounds good, huh? Yeah, well, we’ll see about that. We all know what this lucky guy feels as his hands reach out to do their thing. Anticipation and longing. Lust, possibly. We experience his thoughts transmitted by the action of his hands and we all understand what it means. And yet, what they’re doing is wrong—so, so wrong.
If you read this, chances are that you’re either a passionate reader, maybe an author or—uh-oh—an editor (Hey, if you’re an editor I’ve worked with: My tongue is firmly in my cheek during this post).
Anyway, you probably already know that in publishing circles, hands that reach out on their own, eyes that make contact across the room, and even eager cocks that yearn for release, or in short, body parts that act independently, are frowned upon, to say the least. Often they’re downright forbidden.
But why? Seriously, why?
I’ve been through enough edits with capable editors to have had the use of independent body parts (almost) drilled out of me. It’s rare these days that my addled writer’s brain absently lapses back and tells my fingers to type such a sentence in a WIP (needless to say that such fatal errors are removed as soon as my eyes pick them up). When I come across such a phrase in one of my book that’s already published, my cheeks flush with embarrassment.
Naturally, the way I read other author’s books since I’ve delved into the colourful world of editorial comment boxes has changed. Often I inadvertently find myself reading copy, which kinda spoils the experience, but that’s a topic for another day. I started reading this book. It came highly recommended on Goodreads. Hmm. Readers seem to love it but for me it wasn’t exactly love at first sight, which had mostly to do with the story line. That aside, I soon realised that there appears to be something odd with the editing and yes, I started reading copy, so I put the book away for a couple of days and didn’t pick it up again until today, when I was desperate for just something to read—and boy, I was in for a surprise.
...His shoulders dropped for a second and then tensed...My nails dug in my thigh…I laughed as his brows curled in confusion…he drawled, blank eyes casually checking me out...
These are just a few examples from the couple of pages I managed to read before my break was over. Those are phrases that I very well could have written not so long ago, but that probably wouldn’t have made it past the grammar police. And rightly so, I would have said until not so long ago, because I tended to agree that body parts shouldn’t be allowed to do things independently. Imagine what could happen if they did:
I’m sorry, officer, but you can’t blame me for speeding because, you see, it was actually my foot that pressed the pedal down.
Oh, no, I didn’t slap that cheating bastard of a husband. That was just my hand.
 But I didn’t kiss that other woman, darling. It was my mouth that couldn’t resist to taste her lips.
 Also, quite frequently, if read literally, independent body parts can make for somewhat, uh, unsavoury images.
His eyes crossed the room.
Eyes are one of my own favourites, as my lovely editors can confirm, lol, so here’s another:
He dropped his eyes to the floor. (No, really - eouw!)
Another good one is His voice said. Yes, I used that. The comment it earned me was: “His voice doesn’t say anything, he does.” Yes, I know. But it sounded good at the moment I wrote it, and as every writer knows, eventually you reach a point where you’re so desperate for some variation of this and that, he said or he sounded whatever that you’re willing to make voices say some stuff, too. Just like you become tired of he reached out to whatever, He put his hand on her thigh, They pressed their lips together, He breached the tightly sealed muscle with his finger and consider just letting his darned hand reach out or rest on her thigh, let their lips press together or even allow his finger to breach that unwilling muscle.
And why not? Our bodies do stuff on their own all the time, don’t they? Or when was the last time you had to tell your lungs to snatch a breath? Or your heart to keep pumping blood through your veins? Can’t remember, can you?
So why do our heroes (and heroines, for those who write female characters) have to always be in full control of every single one of their body parts? Why can’t they ever simply lean back and enjoy the ride their own lustful bodies take them for?
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying independent body parts should be used liberally, and you should always keep an eye on what the sentence means if read literally, but come on – those phrases make for a nice change and most readers (myself included) won’t even notice this when they’re absorbed in a story. It’s only when the story itself is crap that our minds drift off to analyse the writing.
Having said that, here’s one I’d veto: Retrieving my wallet from my discarded khakis, my eyes widened. Yeah, careful with that, because when eyes are taking wallets from khakis they’re really going a bit too far. Next they'll snatch your credit card and go shopping for mascara and eye shadow.
Books can teach us lessons, and the lesson I have learned from this book, is that even if understood literally, or technically incorrect, independent body parts can make for an entertaining, vivid read if you allow yourself to switch off your brain, sit back and enjoy the ride an author takes you for. I’m certainly grateful for the lesson this book and its author have taught me and look forward to reading the next 300 or so pages of it.
And, if you think about it, how do we perceive other people’s actions? Do we see them reach out their hand or do we see their hand reach out?
 

November is Contest Month!

Want to win an e-book? November is contest month here on my blog! Starting today, I'll be giving away free copies of my backlist titles (winner's choice, one book per winner) to two winners per week throughout November. All you have to do is leave a comment on one of the blog posts - any post - along with a valid e-mail address and you're entered. Winners will be drawn at random on Thursdays at 6pm GMT. Entries received on Thursdays after 6pm will automatically be considered for the next round. Contest closes at 6pm GMT on November 29th, 2012 For all contest rules, please go to http://www.sage-marlowe.com/p/contests.html  Good Luck!

Sage is Out

I'm over at Blak Rayne's blog today, talking about Newborn. Drop by, say hi and explore Blak's blog: http://www.blakrayneblog.com/?zx=219bade3afe78fb   

Tuesday Teaser - Berengaria Brown (guest)

Welcome to my special Halloween Tuesday Teaser! My guest today is Berengaria Brown and she's bringing a werewolf-treat... Enjoy!


It’s Halloween!


“Werewolves Can’t Fly”, an MMF menage story set at Halloween, is the sequel to “Flight to Joy”, but you don’t have to have read the first book to enjoy this one.


“Flight to Joy” blurb

Mermae can fly. She’s had to keep it a secret, and has never met anyone else like her. One evening she thinks she sees something as she lands after a flight, but decides she’s mistaken, so walks home.

Kade sees a woman flying and is intrigued. He can fly, yet has never met anyone else who can. So he follows her to her apartment to learn her address, then hurries home to his partner, Iain, to tell him the good news.

Buy Link: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=79_93&products_id=3570



And now the story continues…


“Werewolves Can’t Fly”

Mermae joined Kade and Iain four months ago. Halloween is almost here and Iain, a werewolf, is desperate for them to commit to each other. 

But how can they keep their secrets in a city? And if they move out of the city how will they earn money and live?

Iain asked werewolves Dwyer and Nelson, who live on a secure farm, if his family can bond there and run on Halloween. Dwyer and Nelson are thrilled Iain has found his third person and welcome them to a little hidden cabin.

The mating is wonderful, but all their other problems remain unresolved. Is there a solution to them?



PG 13 EXCERPT

They lay on their sides in bed, sweaty and relaxed, satiated, yet Iain wanted more. With Halloween so close now, he wanted to convince-- no, that's wasn't fair. All decisions had to be made freely. He wanted Mermae and Kade to understand how badly he needed them to mate, to commit to each other, so his wolf side would be fulfilled.
Hoping he could explain himself properly, Iain said, "Halloween is special to a werewolf."
"What, you're going to howl at the moon?" teased Mermae.
He tugged her closer to him. "You never know, I might. But I really will need to run properly that night, and I want you both to be beside me. Traditionally, we fuck, then run, then fuck again on Halloween."
Mermae slid up on an elbow so she could look into his face. "There's more than that, though, isn't there?"
"You're a very perceptive woman. Yes, there is. We usually fuck the first time as humans and the second time as wolves, but that can't happen in our triad. But the ritual, yeah I need to complete the ritual. I..." Iain broke off. He didn't want to pressure her, or Kade, although Kade knew a bit more about how important this all was to him.
"You want us to commit." Mermae spoke slowly yet firmly.
Iain rolled over and lay flat on his back staring at her face, trying to read the expression behind her eyes. He nodded. What if she turns me down? What if she isn't ready yet to take this step?
"Okay. Let's just go through this all again. You can bite me without turning me into a werewolf. You've bitten Kade and nothing's ever happened to him. Right?"
"Yes." Kade spoke at the same time as him. Iain was going to add more, but it was obvious Mermae was still thinking, so he waited for her to finish. "The commitment is binding. Once we commit it's for life. Except that you're going to live a hell of a lot longer than Kade and me. Does this mean even after we die you can never commit to another two people?"
"Yes, it does. But I've been told in committed triads that include non-wolves, the humans tend to live quite a lot longer than regular humans. As you know, I've never lived in a pack. We were lone wolves. My three parents and twin brother were killed by hunters when I was a teenager and when I looked for a pack, they were all one male/one female packs, and much bigger than me and..." Once again he couldn't finish what he wanted to say. This was not the time to pull the pity card. Mermae had to decide for herself, not because of anything he said, but because she wanted to commit to him and Kade.



Buy Link: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=78_91&products_id=3711
 

Berengaria Brown
http://berengariasblog.blogspot.com/
http://berengariabrown.com/

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Pre-Order: Re-Submission

Well, hey, hey, look what's available to pre-order - Re-Submission, the almost-but-not-quite follow-up to Sub-Mission (did I just type a sentence containing seven dashes? *shakes head*)



Rubbing a toppy sub, a submissive Top and a Dom with attitude together is guaranteed to send sparks flying — but what will they ignite?


Meet Tyler Kane. Ballsy and headstrong, he's far from being the submissive type. Francis Hollister, Dom and proud owner of a BDSM club, couldn't agree more — and yet, as Tyler carelessly suggests a bet, Francis sees an opportunity arise and decides to take him up on it.

Soon Tyler finds himself in Francis' club and about to be trained as a sub. When Shae, the gorgeous Top Francis has assigned to teach him, doesn't appear to be quite as dominant as his role would lead to believe and Francis turns out to be a rather versatile Dom, Tyler sees a perfect match just waiting to be made happen. Too bad though that he's the only one who sees it. Or maybe he isn’t?

Curious to find out what happens when you rub a submissive Top, a toppy sub and a Dom with attitude together and what exactly the sparks from that explosive combination ignite, Tyler enlists the help of Pierce, Francis' brother, and his partner Noah, and sets out on a mission.

While Tyler's plan seems to work out astonishingly well, it seems that there's more than one man in the club who is pursuing a hidden agenda…
 Reader Advisory: While this book stands alone, it features Noah and Pierce from 'Sub-Mission' and follows up on their story, so you might wish to read that first.

Here's your link: http://www.total-e-bound.com/product.asp?strParents=&CAT_ID=&P_ID=1887
Re-Submission is currently available at a massive 15% discount, so hurry!

I'm sorry you'll have to wait for release date a little longer, but at least you'll get it in time for Christmas ;) Why don't you grab a copy of Sub-Mission in the meantime if you haven't done so already?

Get it here: http://www.total-e-bound.com/product.asp?P_ID=1652&strPageHistory=related
Sub-Mission is also available on Amazon & Barnes and Noble - even in print, if you'd like to hold a bit more in your hand while reading ;)

Author Banner

You may or may not have noticed the bits and pieces of sexy male flesh in the background of my blog. Yeah, well, that's my new author banner. Here it is in all its beauty:






I had so much fun doing this - I spent the best part of an evening ogling and assessing semi-nude men. And all for professional reasons. Sometimes I really love this job ;)

So, what do you think? Thoughts, comments?

Special Guest: Mystical Press - Creating Realistic Characters

I'm thrilled to give this space over today to the lovely ladies from Mystical Press Services, Arial and AJ. They've brought some valuable advice on how to create realistic characters, along with kisses for me and a prize for you ;)



A special thank you to SageBehold, 3 Valuable Tips for Creating Realistic Characters
Tip #1—Give Your Character Personal Motivation
Only one thing drives a story forward: Character motivation. A plethora of authors make the mistake of drafting detailed storylines and plugging their characters into place. Though a storyline may give direction, Alan Watt advises we should hold our stories loosely in his book The 90-Day Novel: Unlocking the Story Within .
 
 If the character isn’t motivated to achieve something personal, the story drags. In other words, if your characters don’t care, neither will your readers.

Storyline with No Character Motivation: Tad Smith is determined to follow family tradition and climb Mount Everest—both his father and grandfather tried and succeeded. Tad and his crew encounter trials and tribulations on the treacherous journey and Tad even loses his best friend George along the way. In the end, he reaches the top…but at what price? Tad learns a hard-knock lesson in priorities that forever changes his life.
 
While this is nice, there’s not really anything driving us to read this story. A bunch of guys climb a mountain, stuff happens to them along the way and in the end they learn a lesson. But there’s nothing to care about. Let’s revise a little, shall we?
 
Storyline withCharacter Motivation: Tad Smith’s father believes he isn’t strong enough to carry on the family tradition of climbing Mount Everest…but Tad is determined to prove his father wrong and gathers a crew who are just as resolute. With his best friend George at his side, Tad and his crew encounter trials and tribulations on the treacherous journey, but giving up is not an option. If Tad accepts defeat, his father will be right, and the crew is determined to conquer the mountain for fortune and glory. George is fatally injured and, with his dying breath, tells Tad he can do anything…he just needs to believe in himself. Tad demands his crew turn back. He won’t lose anyone else to his personal ambitions and vows to continue alone. George’s sacrifice will not be in vain. The crew refuses to abandon Tad and they all agree to continue. In the end, they reach the top and Tad can finally gain the respect of his father...but his father doesn’t care and refuses to acknowledge Tad’s achievement. Only then does Tad realize the truth—he didn’t need his father to believe in him; he needed to believe in himself. The crew receives honor, glory and riches for their efforts, but their victory is bittersweet as they toast to George’s empty chair.   This revised storyline is more about the characters’ relationships versus a bunch of guys climbing a mountain. It’s about brotherhood and learning how to believe in yourself. The story has potential because the character motivation is linked to personal goals.
Tip #2—KNOW Your Characters
Many authors make their characters do things with the sole purpose of driving the storyline in a certain direction. All authors should ask themselves one question as they write: “How would my character respond in this situation?” Let’s say you’re writing a sci-fi story and a vicious, drooling alien is about to attack a defenseless child. Your shy, bookworm heroine suddenly finds hidden courage, draws the nearby Samurai swords on display and hacks the alien into sushi. You may need your character to do this, but unless you establish a hidden strength in your shy character early in the story, the actions come off as phony.
Here’s another way of putting it. Imagine someone you’ve known most of your life (e.g., your overprotective, neat-freak grandmother) and plug them into your latest story. Now rephrase the question, “How would Grandma respond in this situation?” Grandma might glance at the swords, but in reality she would pick up her trusty broom, stand like a lioness in front of the child and scold the alien for the slimy mess it’s making before whacking it into submission. The point is you wouldn’t have Grandma wielding Samurai swords and hacking the alien into sushi because you know Grandma hates sushi. All joking aside, you get the point? This is the level of depth you must establish when creating your characters. You must know them—inside and out.
Tip #3—Listen to Real Dialogue between Real People
Dialogue is a great way to reveal information in a story. However, a lot of authors take this tip to an unrealistic level. Let’s use Tad for our example and engage him in some dialogue with his father.
“I’ve told you a hundred times, Tad, you’re not strong enough to climb Mount Everest. You’ll never have the honor of achieving the family tradition your grandfather and I obtained.” Tad clenched his fists at his side. “You’re wrong, Dad! I’ve been training for years, just like you and Grandpa did. I’m going to make you proud. You’ll see!” “It has less to do with physical strength, son.” Jeremy poked his finger into Tad’s chest. “Have you forgotten you were in therapy for three years trying to recover from your mother’s death? Don’t you remember how your grandfather almost died climbing that mountain? He trained for ten years and had two failed attempts before he succeeded. Everest changed him. He experienced hallucinations, lost friends!”
 


Question:  if Tad’s whole purpose is to follow in his father’s and grandfather’s footsteps, doesn’t he know all this already? Two people don’t rehash information they both already know. The only purpose of this dialogue is to inform the readerabout their history. It sounds stilted, forced and contrived. Also, there’s no mystery to make the readers want to keep flipping pages. Let’s try again:

Jeremy crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. “I talked Bradley out of sponsoring you.”  “You did what?” Tad clenched his jaw, waiting for an explanation, but his father offered none. He steadied his breath. “I have plenty of other sponsors I can—” “And I’ll talk them out of it, too.” Jeremy stalked forward until he was nose-to-nose with Tad. “You know how I feel about this.” “What more can I do prove I’m ready for this? Don’t you think I’ve trained hard enough over the last ten years?” Tad crossed his own arms in defiance. “I’ve endured—” “You don’t get it!” Jeremy threw his hands in the air. “Conquering Everest isn’t about physical strength, son!” He stabbed his index finger into Tad’s chest. “You’re not strong here! You’re not like me, and that mountain will kill you like it almost killed your grandfather. That’s why he was never the same after he came home.” Tad fought the stinging in his eyes and inwardly cursed when tears slipped down his cheek. “See what I mean? You can’t even handle a simple truth about yourself. You couldn’t even deal with your mother’s death.” Jeremy stomped to the door. “You’re not going,” he said over his shoulder. “That’s final.”
 
This dialogue reveals their feelings for each other while leaving many things unsaid that scream through the undertones of their behavior. Also, keep in mind the information left out can be woven into the story later where it’s more appropriate. The most important thing is to let the dialogue unfold naturally.

We Can Help!
There is so much more that contributes to realistic, believable and even memorable characters: backstory, foundational behavior that establishes a character’s personality through actions, psychology and human nature. The list goes on and on.

This fall, Mystical Press Services is releasing a list of classes geared toward character development: Character Development Essentials (CDE) Power Class (coming soon) andCrafting Believable Characters (CBC) Class Series (available for pre-order now). We have another class coming in early 2013 titled Creating Memorable Characters (CMC). Why so many? Because crafting believable characters is paramount to writing a great story. When you register on our site, be sure to let us know which blog referred you so your hostess will be recognized. Registered users will be informed when new classes are added to the catalogue.
Prizes!!!
We encourage you to share some of your experiences with creating characters or valuable tips you may have learned along the way. If you have any questions, please ask! Leave a comment or question and we’ll enter you in a drawing for a $25 eGift good toward any services or classes at our website. Good luck and thanks for participating!
Editor Bios
   Mystical Press Services is the culmination of two authors and professionally trained editors—Arial Burnz and AJ Nuest—who help authors bridge the gap between the form rejection letter and publication. In fact, we believe in this venture so passionately, our tagline is “Helping authors achieve their dreams.” We also assist authors for self-publication. Come dream with us!