Edward Lorn's Blog, page 46
October 22, 2015
Star Wars or Porn? (E. Wants to Know #1)
I captured some audio from the new Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer and I thought it would be fun to play a little game. Rules are simple. You cannot watch the trailer while taking this test. The question is:
Are the quotes below from Star Wars: The Force Awakens or a porn film?
1. “I will finish what you started.”
2. “They’re real.”
3. “Just let it in.”
4. Unintelligible grunting.
5. “Who are you?”
6. “I was raised to do one thing.”
7. “All of it.”
8. “It’s calling to you.”
9. Pew-pew-pewpewpew!
10. “Meesa love a hot lightsaber. Yousa force all over meesa face!”
Leave your answers in the comment section below.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1275164/star-wars-or-porn-e-wants-to-know-1
Took: A Ghost Story (Review by Autumn)
Review: 
Review by Autumn (my ten-year-old daughter). She would also like to thank everyone who liked her review of Doctor Who: The Drosten Curse.
Actual rating: 4.5 stars.
In August my dad was sent a free review copy of a ghost story. I really like how the book transitions from Daniel’s point of view (which is 1st person past tense) to 3rd person in some chapters. Daniel is a seventh-grade boy from Fairfield, Connecticut, who moves to Woodville, West Virginia. When he started school, everyone made fun of him and his sister. Erika is a little girl who is in second grade, and loves her doll that her mom got her, and she hates the big woods she lives around. The parents are very positive about the move at first, but as time goes by, they get sad, and angry with each other, and themselves.
The book begins with Daniel and his family driving to the house on the farm. When they first get to school, all the kids make fun of them. After that things got worse for the family. The parents got really bad jobs and weren’t paid much, they start getting angry at each other and about the move. They have to eat frozen meals for dinner every night after Daniel complains about the meat being tough. Poor Erika starts having long conversations with her doll, when finally she is Took…
I really like this book. It is very well written, the plot is great, and the author develops the characters quickly. I would rate Took four and a half stars out of five. If you like ghostly or creepy stories, I think you would really enjoy this book.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1274869/took-a-ghost-story-review-by-autumn
October 21, 2015
Turning Angel Review
Review:
Greg Iles should be ashamed of himself. I had shit to do yesterday. Important shit, I tell ya. But I spent all of yesterday (and yesternight, as my three-year-old son would say) devouring the last 250 pages of yonder book. Past a certain point, I couldn’t stop reading. Iles wouldn’t let me. I regret nothing.
Turning Angel is the second book I’ve read by Iles, and the second book in the Penn Cage series. I expected a similar setup and delivery as I received in the first Penn Cage novel, The Quiet Game, because, you know, if it ain’t broke, why fix it, right? Well, Greg Iles likes to do things differently. At about the 450-page mark, the place where Iles dropped Cage into a courtroom in the first book, Iles flipped the script and took me in an entirely different direction. I said this next bit in my review of the previous installment in this series and I’ll say it again: In a world filled to the brim with James Patterson and his clones, someone who respects the craft of writing enough to try something different in every book is refreshing.
The best parts of this book are not in the synopsis. That’s how it should be. The blurb would have you believe that this is some average, run-of-the-mill mystery/thriller. That is not the case. Iles has skills. Not only can he write, but he can tell a story like nobody’s business. His stuff is captivating and exciting. More than once, I found myself yelling at my paperback. His novels are gruesome and fun and emotional. But, most importantly, they make you think.
In The Quiet Game, Iles tackled race. That topic is prevalent in Turning Angel as well, but this time Iles ruminates on the age of consent and maturity. There is a strong theme and tone to this book, and you just don’t see that these days outside of literary novels. The moral dilemmas touched upon herein will likely make you uncomfortable. But that’s what good literature does. It challenges you. The decisions Penn has to make are career-killers. They are life-altering. And watching this man’s struggle was utterly fascinating.
In summation: I have many more Iles books to get through and I plan to take my time. An author like this is rare: someone able to tell an engaging tale while retaining literary merit. Turning Angel is as good, if not better, than its predecessor. My highest possible recommendation.
Final Judgment: Black Pearl straight to the vein.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1274412/turning-angel-review
October 19, 2015
Ruminating On: Consent Classes
Okay, so some guy came out against Consent Classes. He says he does not need anti-rape classes because he’s not a rapist, not all men are rapists, and rapists will likely not attend these classes.
I have this to say.
I know what consent means and what NO means. I understand that as soon as a woman says NO, I am no longer allowed to push any further, even if I’m currently having sex with her. Minds and situations can change at the drop of a hat, and I should respect that.
That being said, I know damn well there are loads of guys who do not understand consent. Saying that Consent Classes are pointless is kinda like saying, “I know how to read. Why should we teach others how to read?”
The guy speaking out about this is an ivy-league moron. They exist. In fact, you’ll find just as many ivy-league morons as you’ll find everyday morons. Intelligence is not awarded to rich people at birth. Status is.
Some guys need to be told what NO means. Some guys are entitled douchebags who think NO only means NO before the act and not during. Consent, unfortunately, is not common sense. It should be taught.
I stand in support of Consent Classes, and feel they should be taught from Junior High on up.
Take care of one another.
*hugs and high fives*
E.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1273558/ruminating-on-consent-classes
October 18, 2015
October 17, 2015
Book Haul (10/17/2015) with special guest star Tiny Vader
Individual covers can be found HERE.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1272187/book-haul-10-17-2015-with-special-guest-star-tiny-vader
Amazon Fights Fuckery
Amazon has filed suit against 1,114 reviewers-for-hire, namely Fiverr users who sell praise.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1272067/amazon-fights-fuckery
October 16, 2015
Plum Island Review
Review: 
With any review I do, I ask myself a single question: “How much do you care whether or not people read this book.” This time, the answer is not so simple. I honestly have no idea whether or not people are interested in Nelson DeMille. Dude has a following. He doesn’t need my help. Also, he’s not terrible, so I don’t feel the need to be satirical with my review. He’s somewhere between Greg Iles and Howard Stern. Basically, this guy writes really verbose books for middle-aged men. There’s some mention of sex or tits or ass on every page. Much beer is swilled. Everyone cracks wise. If you like that kind of thing, you should enjoy yourself. If not, you’ll likely hate it.
I should have hated this book. It was predictable, the comedy wasn’t always funny, and the writing was basic and repetitive. The main character is a womanizer who sees every woman he comes across as an object to be filled, and the women he meets along the way actually like that about him. There’s one point where a woman says, (I’m paraphrasing) “You’re not like most men, John. Most men want to know more about me. You just want to have sex. I like that about you.” I had to laugh. I know some of you ladies like a stiff dick just as much as we like a place to put it, but this came off as silly in places. None of the women in this book could be confused with strong, independent females. One lady who’s a homicide detective allows the MC to leave her behind because she might get her fragile little self hurt. Oh fuck off.
The odd part is, I never wanted to stop reading, and the best excuse I have for that is this analogy.
You know that one stupid-as-fuck friend we all have? Well, if you don’t, you’re probably that friend. Just saying. Anyballs, so we all have that one friend who’s dumber than a load of bricks dropped on a horny ostrich, but they are fun to be around. If you need a math problem done, you’re not going to call Nelson. But if you’re in a mood to drink thirty beers and burn some shit, Nelson’s definitely your go to guy. You don’t invite him around your girlfriend because he’s rude and disgusting. But if you’re ever expecting a tussle with a buncha inebriated rednecks, Nelson’s gonna fuck ’em up for you. Yeah, that’s this book.
And yes. To address the 800-pound swinging dick in the room, yes, this book is overlong. No book of this kind should be almost 600 pages. But, once again, I never once wanted to stop reading. Take that for what it’s worth.
In summation: If Columbo took all season to solve a case instead of a single episode, and then, while he was attempting to solve the crime, he catcalled every passing female and fucked the ones who didn’t run away, this book would be the result. You’re either going to love it or hate it. Me? I’m in the middle. I’d read more about this character, but I’d have to be in the right mood for him. You ladies have your Mommy Porn and such. Guys have Nelson DeMille. As far as I see it, we’re even.
Final Judgment: The most sexist thing you’re likely to enjoy.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1271794/plum-island-review
And here I thought I was the only one…
stolen from someone on GR who likely stole it from someone else
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1271756/and-here-i-thought-i-was-the-only-one
DNF @ Page 2
Nope. Nope. Nopenopenopenopenopenope!
I’m stopping now. I made it to page two before he mentioned a golden retriever. I assume everything else is going to be Koontz repeating himself, so I’m not going to upset myself further. Life is too short to read the same shit over and over again. I’m done. This is me saying I’m done with Koontz. Don’t send me anymore review copies, not even if I ask for them.
Thank you to publisher for the review copy, but no. Nope.
In summation: NOPE.
Final Judgment: N to the O to the P to the E. What’s that spell? NOPE!
Don’t you hate it when people repeat themselves?
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1271656/dnf-page-2
Edward Lorn's Blog
- Edward Lorn's profile
- 2927 followers
