Kassandra Lamb's Blog, page 43
October 5, 2015
4 Ways to Change Your Self-Esteem Filters (encore)
by Kassandra Lamb
(This post first appeared in spring 2014 on Pirkko Rytkonen’s blog. I’m re-running it while I’m on vacation, because I think this is an extremely important topic!)
A filter should be easy to change, right? I can change the one in my furnace in five minutes. Any self-respecting auto mechanic can change an oil filter in a car in less than twenty.
So why is it so hard to change our self-esteem filters?
Mainly it’s because they’ve been established for so long. It’s like those ru...
September 28, 2015
Happiness Is an Inside Job (encore)
by Kassandra Lamb
(Note: I first posted this at the beginning of 2014. I’m re-posting it while I’m on vacation, with an update.)
The beginning of a new year is a time to look at where we’ve been over the last twelve months, and where we’re going during the next twelve. Was it a good year? Were we happy? If not, what will we do differently in the coming year?
Because happiness is the bottom line!

(photo by Geo Pradeep–self-portrait of a happy man)
During my career as a psychotherapist I saw fa...
September 21, 2015
Are You a Compliment Deflector? (encore)
by Kassandra Lamb
(Note: this was originally posted in Spring, 2014 and was very well-received; I’m re-posting while I’m on vacation. The encore posts of the next two weeks are also related to this topic.)
When someone gives you a compliment, do you immediately feel like you should say something self-deprecating? Or at least shuffle your feet and say, “Aw, shucks. It was nothing.”
Some of you may be wondering what I’m talking about. But those of us raised before 1980 (and maybe some after th...
September 14, 2015
The Golden Donut Award
by Vinnie Hansen
In August I received the “coveted” Golden Donut.
Sounds like something invented by a cop, right? It is. The Writers’ Police Academy (WPA) awards the Golden Donut.
I’ve heard nothing but rave reviews of the WPA, held this year in Appleton, Wisconsin at the new Fox Valley Technical College Public Safety Training Center.
The WPA is a small conference (300 attendees this year) at which law enforcement officers, firefighters, and EMTs work hands on with writers who are eager to ge...
September 7, 2015
5 Ways to Combat Procrastination
by Kassandra Lamb
Last week I talked about the motivations behind procrastination (Getting a Round Tuit). Today, I want to address how one can overcome it.

I have lots of these! (by Heron 2 –public domain)
I tend to swing too far the other way. I’m a precrastinator. I am so adverse to the stress of a looming deadline that I have to have everything done way in advance. Sometimes I end up stressing myself out even more this way. If I don’t have it done at least a week in advance, I start to pan...
August 31, 2015
Getting A Round Tuit
by Kassandra Lamb
I postponed a deadline this week (one of the perks of being the co-owner of the press).

(photo by ThisIsRobsLife, CC-BY-SA 3.0, Wikimedia Commons)
I think it was a good stress-management decision. But it’s hard to tell sometimes when we’re “managing” our schedule and when we’re just plain procrastinating.
We all procrastinate occasionally. I have a very tall stack of papers on my desk (about two years worth of receipts) that can attest to that.
The most common reason for the...
August 24, 2015
Do You “Should” On Yourself?
by Kassandra Lamb
We didn’t get to one of my favorite places this year on our summer sojourn to Maryland. There’s a street of shops in Annapolis that I love to poke around in. Several of them have some pretty unique stuff.
One shop is devoted mostly to handmade pottery jars with cork stoppers and all kinds of interesting things written on the labels. Years ago, I bought a couple of those jars. Here’s one of them:
I used to use it in my therapy sessions, when clients were “shoulding” on thems...
August 17, 2015
Why Murder and Mayhem?
by Kassandra Lamb
I’ve touched on this subject before, but I find myself once again questioning why I write murder mysteries.
I’m a pacifist at heart, who believes violence is only justifiable in self-defense. And I’m an optimist. For me the glass is always half full and I’m savoring the half I’ve just consumed.

My favorite kind of half-full glass
August 10, 2015
Can We Go Home Again?
by Kassandra Lamb
“You can’t go home again.” That phrase has become iconic. (It’s actually the title of a 1940’s novel by Thomas Wolfe, published posthumously by his editor — I looked it up.)
The question of whether or not we can “go home again” has been on my mind lately, ever since we returned from our annual summer sojourn to my native Maryland.

The harbor in Rock Hall, Maryland
It was a good vacation. Unlike some previous visits, nothing drastic went wrong (if you don’t count the broken c...
August 3, 2015
“Survivor”–Sisters in Crime version
Vinnie Hansen is starting off our August blog schedule with a bang today, with her own version of a reality show. And she’s got some really BIG news to share!
Shh, not until the end of the post though. But it’s definitely something she can BRAG about.
“Survivor”
by Vinnie Hansen What would happen if a villain dropped one of our protagonists into the wilderness? How would our heroine survive?
That question and a love for camaraderie propelled 13 brave members of my Sisters in Crime chapter to...