Allison B. Levine's Blog, page 3
June 21, 2013
Conversations Between Cats
Now, I’m no dolphin scientist – but I would like to believe that my two cats are definitely smarter than myself. Maybe not the smartest of the felines in general – so I don’t know how much hope one can have on civilization if it were up to me and my cats for the world’s survival, but I digress…I do happen to have some time on my hands though, so I’m going to illustrate what I believe are actual…
Conversations Between My Cats…
Nikki (the one in the background) : Aw man, I was going to sit there, Brie – you’re always following me! Move or I’ll clean your behind again.
Brie (giving all face): I wonder if she knows I just pooped on the floor?
Nikki: What did you say?
Brie: I’m not moving, do what you gotta…
Nikki (spread eagle): There comes a time when you just have to air your beans out…
Brie (looking on in disdain): Idiot, you’re a female, and neutered – must you be vulgar all the time?
Nikki: You’re such a priss.
Brie: Says the whore…
Nikki: (The wider one): What are we looking at?
Brie: (Slim): I don’t know I was wondering what you were looking at?!
Brie (Left): I could really use a cleaning right about now, Nikki – get your ass up and clean me!
Nikki (Right): I only get 23 and 1 quarter hours of rest a day, can you cut me some slack – you’re so needy.
Brie: That’s not what you said last night…
Nikki (Other One): Brie – haha, you’re doing your fetus impression again…
Brie (Closer One): Yeah…well you’re doing your human impression again…
Nikki: Oh burn…no pun intended, because that was a lame joke.
Brie: Aw Lick me…quit hogging all the sun!
Nikki (the angry-looking one): God dammit she’s taking a picture of us again – I told you it looks a little gay.
Brie (the curled up one): I need your blubber to keep me warm, totally a survival tactic.
Nikki: You’re an asshole, I’m just big-boned!
Brie: Yeah sure – you also have a pretty face.
Nikki: That’s it…no spooning later, better believe it!
Nikki (the humanoid sitting one): So I said “oh no you didn’t girl, this weave is real”.
Brie (the annoyed one): Seriously, again? Please stop pretending you are a human on an 80′s urban situational TV show, it’s offensive.
Nikki: I’m not being offensive, I’m keeping it real!
Brie: Good grief!
Nikki (the guilty looking one): Just look innocent, and keep your mouth shut.
Brie (the submissive one): You just had my throat in your jaws of death, I’m telling!
Nikki: Open your mouth and I sit on your face.
Brie: God no – worse than your jaws of death is your ass of death.
Nikki: Smile for the camera…
Nikki (The affectionate looking one): Want to know a secret?
Brie (The one that looks like she enjoying it): Uh, I guess.
Nikki: I just farted.
Brie: Real mature.
10 smartest animals in the world indeed!! I don’t know why, but I do think that my cat Nikki is truly offensive in every way. Honestly, they are really good to each other. They have their fighting moments, but usually they are cleaning each other, eating off of the same tiny paper plate, or sleeping on each other. I couldn’t have asked for two estranged cats coming together and getting along so well. I’ve never seen non-related cats bond like these two girls did, I truly got lucky and they are certainly hours of entertainment.
Do you have pets that are like my girls? I’d like to hear all about them!
Tagged: Brie, cats, conversations, dolphin scientist, if cats were people, intelligen, lame joke, nikki, survival tactic, top 10 smartest animals
June 20, 2013
Forget SOE’s – Middle Finger is the Search Master
Photo Credit (Middle Finger): http://chan.jeffreybosman.com/src/127662775139.gif
So how many bloggers out there are obsessively checking their stats daily/hourly/minutely?
I’ll admit it, I totally do it – like all the time! In having rediscovered interest in my blog again (happens at least once a year or so) I noticed that my blog post a million years ago with the above picture gets the most play of all my blog posts.
Almost all of my stats, every day are by the search for middle finger, bird, finger, flipping off, etc… Funny thing is, that post was not even that good!
Also a while back I did a post on SOE – Search Optimization Engines – (i.e Bing, Google etc…) using tag words in these search engines in your posts to gain the most traffic. I clearly hit search gold with the middle finger – so my advice to all of you: tag Middle Finger for EVERYTHING – even if it’s about kindergarten pageants or whatever…
Wayward searchers out there in Internet Land: if you looked up Middle finger and you came across my blog – let me shamelessly plug myself.
Since you’re already here take a click onto my “Buy A Demon Love Story” Page – and well buy it, read it, love it – make this independent writer happy.
Also while you’re at it – click on my “Stories From Plane View” blog post – it has a really great snippet from the book – totally steamy!
In Addition to – Click on my “ADLS Playlist!” Page and witness the best music your ears will ever audibly feast on.
And for my last ditch effort – please click on my “ADLS Part 2″ blog post which also gives a wonderfully lovable snippet from my sequel.
Thanks for stopping by!!!
If you feel compelled to leave comments – please be nice I mean nobody any harm. 
Tagged: bing, bird, blog post, blogging, do it, everything, finger, flipping off, FU sign, funny, google, independent writer, indie bloggers, middle finger, NJ state bird, search engines, SOE, tag words
June 19, 2013
Out of the Old Skool Into the New…Sort Of
Picture credit: http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-out-with-the-old-and-in-with-the-new-3.pngAs of next Monday its new beginnings in an old comfortable environment.
Ok this has nothing to do with writing, or my writing, or writers in general, or anything writing.
Long story short…the company I’ve been working at for the last five years was bought out, I was fortunate to be accepted to the new company. Sadly, some did not and it’s been breaking my heart. We lost some really great people for no good reason.
The company I’ve been employed with for five years has been in business for one hundred years. The new company has been in business for six. Not that there’s a difference considering the old company went down in flames and this company is thriving more by the day. One thing I’ve noticed in meeting the people from the new company which puts a smile on my face – a lot of the Principals are young women. They are a big proponent in Women Owned Business’s which I fully support. I’m a little wary of my future still, but I feel confident that the normal misogynistic mentality of the old company is not tolerated at the new – fingers crossed.
So again, I embark on a new journey, but really I’m pretty much doing the same thing with the same people I’ve been doing for the past five years.
What an odd situation, you know?
On the writing front – I really need to find me a cheap editor, editing is really time-consuming and hard. Wah. If you know of anyone I’ll be happy to hear any suggestions! I have three books that are drafted to completion – now I need the editing.
*shameless plug moment over*
Wish me luck all 20 of you in my bloggerverse, thanks for sticking with me and still reading my dribble. You have no idea how appreciated it is!
Tagged: anything writing, awesome, blogging, bought out, comfortable, environment, future, kick-ass, literature, long story short, my writing, new beginnings, old, Women Owned Business's, writers in general, writing 
June 12, 2013
Stories From Plane View
I meant to put this in my “Other Works In Progress” Page – but I just didn’t get to it.
This is my next venture into the self publishing realm; the proof is on its way to me as we speak – EXCITING! Of course there is a problem with that – I am NOT an editor. If you read any of my blog entries you would clearly know that. I’m an idea girl, I have great ideas, vast imagination and let’s face it, not to pat myself on the back, but I make good dialogue.
True confession – I just tried really hard to edit that paragraph. How’d I do?
So…back to the topic at hand – Stories From Plane View. This started out with a really simple concept. A woman who is a travel writer who spends most of her time traveling. Then I added that she was the man version of womanizer (or the newly made up term manizer – maybe I’ll just let Hall and Oats say it best – She’s a Maneater) she seduces men only to pass the time, no regrets, no remorse, nothing more than physical pleasure – she is the ID. She was a promiscuous teen rebelling against her wealthy upbringing, became a teenage groupie – there’s a sexual exploit diary involved. Which is great, but then I turned it all around.
She has to stop traveling! Gasp…so with no idea how to live out of the skies she turns to her two best friends and they take her out for one night of drunken debauchery. She wakes up the next day with no memory of the night before and a stark naked god walking around her living room. (Not and actual God – but now my wheels are turning).
From there her life really gets turned upside down. She can’t travel, she met this guy that gets her, she’s scared, excited, worried that he’ll find out about her past…
This is basically a romance, I know completely different from my first foray into self publishing the ever popular A Demon Love Story, but I’ve always loved a good romance or even better a romance turned rom-com! (Fingers Crossed)
So wish me luck that I can learn how to edit a book so I can get this puppy into the world. Here’s a steamy excerpt…
I woke up to my blaring alarm clock in my big comfy bed all alone. I slap the top of the alarm clock take in a deep breath, choke for about a minute—I smoked way too much last night – then rolled my hungover ass over. I look down at my body and realize I am stark naked on top of the covers and everything is a mess. I don’t remember when or how I got here last night, I’m sure I have Seth to thank for it though. As I give a big stretch I hear the water in my bathroom go on, I shoot straight up!
Did Mark or Roxy come home with me? Of course if they did why would I be buck naked; we joke, but we usually keep relations pretty platonic around here. I watch as the bathroom door becomes ajar and an Adonis just as naked as I am emerges from the bathroom door.
“Hey, um, I thought I’d shower before I leave if you don’t mind.” The beautiful blond model says to me. Or at least he looks like one; I don’t even remember who he is.
“Sure…uh…” I pause so he will remind me of his name. He didn’t get it.
“Want to join me?” He smiles revealing his perfect white teeth.
I sit for a moment to ponder it, look at the clock and realize that I have about forty minutes to get downtown to meet Elaine. I quickly jump and haul ass to the bathroom with the hot man.
The water feels so good, so hot; it washes away the grime of the night before, although by the look on hot models face it looks like he wants to roll in the mud all over again.
“Last night…was amazing.” he says looking at me with his blue eyes burning so bright I feel it in my groin.
“Uh, yeah it was really great.” I say unconvincingly.
“Would you like a repeat performance?” He leered at me.
“Sure, but we need to be quick I have to be downtown real soon.”
“I’ll go dow…” I quickly interrupt him with my hand to his mouth.
“Before you finish that sentence let’s just skip the foreplay.”
I have a bench in my shower for this very reason. Well ok when I bought the place and did the tour I didn’t base my decision only on the fuck bench in the shower, but it was definitely a perk.
First, he put his big hands to my face and plants a deep kiss on my mouth that sends shock waves straight to the pleasure spot. He then sits down on the bench in all his giant readied splendor and I sit on him facing away. He grabs my hips and moves me to his hard thrusting motion, the sensation I crave is rising fast and furious. He is hot, wet, and strong and something about that noise of two bodies slapping into each other always gets me going. As the thrusting gets harder and he’s cupping my tits like he’s kneading dough while rubbing his soft wet fingers around my nipples I start to feel the shocks growing more intense. I can’t see him, but hearing him grunt, his strong arms bringing me to his lap harder and harder, his breath getting more and more rapid I can’t contain it any longer — I come like a locomotive, I come so loud I think I scare him a little, but shortly after he yells my name. Shit, I don’t know his.
Tagged: a demon love story, awesome, dialouge, excerpt, hungover, ID, kick-ass, maneater, naked, plane, rom-com, sexual, steamy, stories, view
June 5, 2013
Back From the Dead
I’ve made it through the wilderness…somehow I made it through.
I took a serious sabbatical from this blog – life and its infinite craziness. Not that anything exciting has happened I just lost my way. I think I’ve been in a funk – a deep and lamenting funk, I don’t know how but I just finished another book and I’m ready to inch my way back.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be as entranced in this as I once was, but I feel like I really do need that creative outlet.
I opened up a Hubpages account and I realized I had absolutely nothing to write about. I’m a creative writer not a technical writer I have to stop thinking that that is a bad thing.
So, here’s the top 7 things that happened while I was on my sabbatical.
7. Pretty boring stuff – I can’t remember the 6 months I’ve been gone at all – but the last 3 months is when it gets really exciting.
6. Shit hit the fan at work – like big steaming pile of shit. I’d go into detail, but it’s a sensitive subject still and I don’t want to get into any trouble airing it out here.
6a. it involves scandal, furlough and renewal – all with a side of stress causing me starting to smoke occasionally again.
5. I got a roommate – my best friend moved into my living room – she just got out of a bad marriage.
4. Survived Hurricane Sandy and the LONGEST WINTER EVER
3. My cat turned 8!
2. I got a bicycle!
1. Realized how dull and boring my life really is.
It was the shittiest of times…it was the okest of times. However, since this is still ongoing I cannot quite say I’m out of the woods yet, but I’ll certainly keep you posted.
Till next time kids…keep your nose clean and your underwear cleaner.
Tagged: bicycle, creative outlet, dull, Hubpages, Hurrican Sandy, infinite craziness, pretty boring, sabbatical, scandal, shit hit the fan, smoking 
November 7, 2012
Early Novemeber Thankfullness Cornucopia
One being that I have really great friends. I’ve been down in the dumps lately. Unmotivated, feeling like a failure, uninspired, depressed, paranoid, etc… I could go on, that’s the sad part. But I’ve come to realize, well not so much come to realize I’ve always known it; that feeling sorry for myself gets me nowhere. Yet, here I am.
If I didn’t have such good friends or realized that to have such great friends you’re either a good person or you’re doing something right I wouldn’t be able to get off this pity train. Truthfully speaking – I’ve never been much of a leader in my life. I follow, maybe it’s because I’m the youngest, maybe it was because my brother was so much older than me, maybe it was because I was babied and sheltered by my father. Who knows, but I was never a breakout and do something first kind of girl. And really I’m ok with that – if this world was filled with just leaders we would be extinct by now. So I’m pertinent to humanity.
My point of this is (slowly but surely) I’ve surrounded myself with friends who are leaders. And one in particular – well two really, have been both my motivators and idea people. One is a born motivational speaker – one facilitates tough love which is the perfect balance of what I need. Another is all about speaking the truth. The hard truths – such as you can’t control the uncontrollable. And if you have 99 problems, only work on 1 at a time – the bitch, ain’t one.
Truth is, things need to change. I need to change. As I fall deeper and deeper into the dark rabbit hole it gets harder and harder to see the light. This is not good.
Little goals – that is the key.
So starting today one of my very good friends professed the idea to kind of have our own NaNoWriMo where each week we give each other a chapter of something we are currently writing on. We will both read/critique and help the other complete the story. I have something that I’ve barely started, so I think that would be the perfect place to start. I’m dipping my toe in the pool of Young Adult writing, god help us all.
So with Thanskgiving right around the corner. I need to say what I’m thankful for. I’m thankful for my friends – all of them. I’m thankful for surviving the horrid weather thrown this way (so far), I’m thankful for life. I’m thankful for my penchant for creative talents. Family, health, humanity and pumpkin pie.
Tell me what you are thankful for???
Tagged: cornucopia, creativity, friends, ideas, inspiration, motivation, motivators, NaNoWriMo, pumpkin pie, Thankfullness, Thanks, tough love, truth, young adult
October 26, 2012
Have we met?
1. I live a very minimal existence – I do not have cable or internet in my apartment. Not for any deep meaning or political reason just because I don’t have a financial need for it.
2. I’ve been writing since I was in middle school, but it was more a hobby than a career. I wanted my career to be graphic design or something art related. What I got was corporate life doing neither.
3. I get distracted very easily. Around the time of one of my last posts it was because my real life job got insanely busy. Then I decided to take the summer off. Now it’s almost like I never even wrote a book. I’m so blocked up I need a brain enema!
4. I need a new editor. My friend that edited my first book is awesome and I love her to death, but she can’t do the editing anymore – I really stepped in shit with her the first time.
5. I’m bored, complacent, uninspired and tired.
6. I hate being negative although that’s all I am – quite the quagmire!
7. Sometimes I feel totally invisible and the loneliest person in the world. Actually more than I’d like to admit.
8. I always hope things will get better.
9. I miss doing all this writing stuff, but I don’t know how to get back into it.
10. I’m freaking out about the impending hurricane.
September 13, 2012
Falling Off the Edge Of The Earth
Regrets? I have some. But what can you do about that?
I took off some time away from the writing world. I don’t know why I did, I guess I was overwhelmed, over-worked (in my ‘real’ life) and underwhelmed in my writing life. I had gotten some mixed reviews. I lost my drive – my desire to get my name out there. I don’t even know if it was the reviews that did it – I think I just lost the desire to work so hard at something that is the most unpredictable thing I’ve ever experienced.
Anyone who knows me, I’m pretty predictable, a creature of habit even. So looking in the face of the unknown was frightening and uneasy.
Yes – I’m still writing. But A Demon Love Story was my baby, I have had this story in my head for 20+ years, and I feel like I may have been on cusp of success – but then I chickened out.
I’ve had much rejection in my life for things I cannot control. But to get rejected for things that I created out of my bare hands and brain, that is hard to take.
Remember one of my older posts where I said I wrote a children’s book? Well, I did, and now this week I’ve begun attempting to illustrate it. I am in no way an illustrator or drawing talent, but I do dabble in the arts. I’ve recently started painting again my people seem to like them. So I’m trying to illustrate.
I wanted a dark feel to it, but apparently all I can draw is cartoonish happy drawings. I know, me? This girl who is the Eeyore of the human world – I draw happy.
So look below at my illustrations – see if you like…
Feedback always welcome.
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Tagged: a demon love story, arts, chickened out, children's story, creature of habit, cusp, drawing, drawing talent, Eeyore, hard to take, illustration, illustrations, love story, painting, predictible, regrets, rejection, scared, unpredictible
July 14, 2012
ADLS Part Two Excerpt
Still working on the cover.
Not often am I really in love with a reunion or just a few paragraphs in general.
When I wrote this I was like “I really love this”, I would like some opinions. Even if you don’t know the story, just read the excerpt and tell me what you think. This is a rough draft, so I welcome all critiques.
Here goes nothing…
As Alex walked down the long corridor to her bedroom—Liam’s prison—she felt nervous and excited, something she hasn’t felt in such a long time. She knew how he felt, she always had but she wanted to avoid it, she was so scared of him hurting her again. She was worried what she would do to him if he hurt her again. She paused outside the door contemplating if she should keep walking past but she opened the door anyway.
He lied on the floor with his face up to the ceiling, eyes closed, and his arm draped over his forehead. He was a little pale and a little skinny. She knew he was strong enough, but he was not happy. She walked up to the cell quiet as a mouse trying to keep him from knowing she’s there. She just stared at his perfection and even though he was paler and skinnier than she recalled he was still the most beautiful creature she’s ever seen. In all her years and in all her travels she’s never seen a creature that compares to him. She now understands fully why Alice chose him. That was about the only good thing Alice did.
As she stood gripping the cell door like she wanted to rip it off the hinges with a look of lust in her eyes, he opened his and turned his head towards her.
“Piss off I’m not in the mood today.” Liam says getting to his feet.
Alex stood there taking him in not saying a word, she had a wide smile on her lips.
“I mean it, I swear to god if you make me see her anymore…”
Alex opened the cell and walked in.
“I’m tired of this I know you’re not her, stop playing with me!”
Alex took his face in her hands and kissed his lips. Liam fought it for a split second then realized that she was the real thing. He wrapped his arms around her as tight as he can and reattached his mouth to hers. She threading her fingers through his soft hair grabbing it as emotion got more intense.
“Oh my god, you’ve come back! I’ve missed you…”
“I know, shh, I know. It’s ok now. You’re free.” Alex says backing away.
Liam grabbed her right back to his hard warm body and kissed her again. She felt everything. She couldn’t even handle the emotions flooding back into her, she felt as if she may lose consciousness. She hasn’t done that since the first time Liam ever kissed her when she was still human. She lured him out of the cage towards the bed and he lifted her off the ground and she wrapped her legs around his bare waist. He kissed her like he hadn’t had a meal in years he had pure hunger in his eyes. She jumped down from his waste and she turned her back to him. He zipped open her dress and it fell to her ankles he ran his hand down her spine planting wet kisses on the way. She turned back towards him and he fell to his knees weeping.
“Don’t cry my love, I am yours.” She whispered.
Liam laid her onto the bed still on his knees. He gave her a deep kiss between her thighs nipping a vain and smiling as he heard her moan in pleasure. He missed the warmth of her body, the sexy soft moans she couldn’t stop from leaving her lips…the smell of her passion. He took her like an animal ripe from the hunt, he didn’t hold back, it was almost as if he wanted to punish her for letting him go but he would never hurt her, only if she asked nicely. For the first time in over two centuries he felt her climax underneath him and he felt like he was finally back home where he belonged, doing what he was put on this earth to do. Make her happy.
Tagged: Alex, emotions, feeling, Liam, longing, Love, lust, mine, missing, passion, reunion, scared
June 14, 2012
Hi, Remember Me?
May 18 was the my last post, that is a testament to how insane my life as been.
And not fun insane like my book is taking off and I’m doing tours and meet and greets. Just work. My real life = boring.
So much so that I’m forcing myself to write this right now just to say hi to everyone who probably gave up on me.
I’ve made some decisions. Most of my reviews have stated that A Demon Love Story is too long. I wrote it and it took me 20 years so maybe that’s true. So I’ve decided to break ADLS PT. 1 in to two parts! And…drumroll…I think I finished Part 3. I mean I read all the tips and tricks and what do they say for indie authors – make a series of ebooks. So that’s what I’m gonna do.
Also I finished Stories From Plane View – 1st draft, now the fun begins. Also, only 50,000 words. I’m not going to write another epic again, promise.
So I’m looking forward to what’s coming down the pike in Allison the Author World and I promise that I’ll keep you all updated and maybe not be away so long again. 
For those of you who still check up on me, thank you so much I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate it!
So, what’s new with you?
Tagged: a demon love story, boring, Busy, insane, real life, splitting up, Stories From Plane View, testament
