Conversations Between Cats
Now, I’m no dolphin scientist – but I would like to believe that my two cats are definitely smarter than myself. Maybe not the smartest of the felines in general – so I don’t know how much hope one can have on civilization if it were up to me and my cats for the world’s survival, but I digress…I do happen to have some time on my hands though, so I’m going to illustrate what I believe are actual…
Conversations Between My Cats…
Nikki (the one in the background) : Aw man, I was going to sit there, Brie – you’re always following me! Move or I’ll clean your behind again.
Brie (giving all face): I wonder if she knows I just pooped on the floor?
Nikki: What did you say?
Brie: I’m not moving, do what you gotta…
Nikki (spread eagle): There comes a time when you just have to air your beans out…
Brie (looking on in disdain): Idiot, you’re a female, and neutered – must you be vulgar all the time?
Nikki: You’re such a priss.
Brie: Says the whore…
Nikki: (The wider one): What are we looking at?
Brie: (Slim): I don’t know I was wondering what you were looking at?!
Brie (Left): I could really use a cleaning right about now, Nikki – get your ass up and clean me!
Nikki (Right): I only get 23 and 1 quarter hours of rest a day, can you cut me some slack – you’re so needy.
Brie: That’s not what you said last night…
Nikki (Other One): Brie – haha, you’re doing your fetus impression again…
Brie (Closer One): Yeah…well you’re doing your human impression again…
Nikki: Oh burn…no pun intended, because that was a lame joke.
Brie: Aw Lick me…quit hogging all the sun!
Nikki (the angry-looking one): God dammit she’s taking a picture of us again – I told you it looks a little gay.
Brie (the curled up one): I need your blubber to keep me warm, totally a survival tactic.
Nikki: You’re an asshole, I’m just big-boned!
Brie: Yeah sure – you also have a pretty face.
Nikki: That’s it…no spooning later, better believe it!
Nikki (the humanoid sitting one): So I said “oh no you didn’t girl, this weave is real”.
Brie (the annoyed one): Seriously, again? Please stop pretending you are a human on an 80′s urban situational TV show, it’s offensive.
Nikki: I’m not being offensive, I’m keeping it real!
Brie: Good grief!
Nikki (the guilty looking one): Just look innocent, and keep your mouth shut.
Brie (the submissive one): You just had my throat in your jaws of death, I’m telling!
Nikki: Open your mouth and I sit on your face.
Brie: God no – worse than your jaws of death is your ass of death.
Nikki: Smile for the camera…
Nikki (The affectionate looking one): Want to know a secret?
Brie (The one that looks like she enjoying it): Uh, I guess.
Nikki: I just farted.
Brie: Real mature.
10 smartest animals in the world indeed!! I don’t know why, but I do think that my cat Nikki is truly offensive in every way. Honestly, they are really good to each other. They have their fighting moments, but usually they are cleaning each other, eating off of the same tiny paper plate, or sleeping on each other. I couldn’t have asked for two estranged cats coming together and getting along so well. I’ve never seen non-related cats bond like these two girls did, I truly got lucky and they are certainly hours of entertainment.
Do you have pets that are like my girls? I’d like to hear all about them!
Tagged: Brie, cats, conversations, dolphin scientist, if cats were people, intelligen, lame joke, nikki, survival tactic, top 10 smartest animals
