Alexandra Sokoloff's Blog, page 24

Huntress Moon is an audiobook!

I said I had announcements to make - well, here's the first. The audiobook of Huntress Moon is  now available!

Even better: if you already own the Kindle edition, you can add audio for just $3.47.

One of the reasons I've been so silent these days is that along with my usual writing schedule I've ben working on the audiobook of Huntress Moon. Audiobooks of Blood Moon and Cold Moon will be coming later this year, but this is one I worked on myself through Amazon's ACX program - that's Audiobook Creation Exchange.  



I just got back from the Romantic Times Booklovers convention, one of the biggest conventions I go to all year, and I was surprised at how many panels and workshops there were with titles like "Audio is the New Black." I met up with lots of author friends who have been doing a brisk business in audiobooks through the ACX program, and I thought I'd better blog a little about it here, because this is another potential income stream that authors need to be aware of these days, and ACX is a terrific production and distribution resource. Even if you know exactly zero about audiobook production (that would be me!), the ACX site has streamlined the process into a step-by-step system that anyone can follow to produce a quality audiobook. 

ACX has thousands of professional and highly experienced actor-producers already signed up for the program. When you start an audio book, you choose a five-minute segment of your book for actors to audition with and upload that to the ACX site, and specify the qualities of voice that you're looking for (comic, brooding, spooky, etc.) You choose whether you'll pay the narrator a flat fee yourself, or do a royalty share deal. Then the project gets posted to ACX's entire stable of actor-producers, and immediately auditions start coming in. You can also browse for actors yourself by searching vocal and tonal qualities and listening to samples.  I was having flashbacks to my directing days as I listened to over three dozen auditions. (I know, yike - but you don't have to listen to the whole audition to know if a narrator is in the running). 

I actually found my terrific narrator, RC Bray, myself, by searching auditions on the site. I was blown away by Bob's vocal range (just wait till you hear his reading of Epps!), and the way he's able to convey theme and suspense in his reading. Bob loved Huntress and signed up to do the book immediately, and he's such a professional that we had no problem working together by e mail. I could ask him to do something in a slightly different way and he'd instantly get it.  I'm thrilled with the book and I hope you audiobook listeners will be, too.

I've really enjoyed working on the audio version of Huntress, though I have to warn it's a lot of work. But ACX's team was incredibly supportive and helpful - any time I hit a snag or didn't understand a step in the process, I could contact the support team and get talked through it. I know other authors opt to make audio deals with great companies like Audible rather than taking on production themselves, but I love that I'm now going to make the lion's share of profit from this book. I think maybe a mix of self-produced and company-produced books might be the way to go, just as a hybrid mix of indie published and traditionally published books can be the most profitable (and manageable!) route for authors these days.

I highly recommend that all authors check out the ACX site and read about how the process works. And of course I'd love to hear from others of you who have worked on your own audiobooks! What was your experience?

- Alex

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FBI Special Agent Matthew Roarke is just closing in on a bust of a major criminal organization in San Francisco when he witnesses an undercover member of his team killed right in front of him on a busy street, an accident Roarke can't believe is coincidental. His suspicions put him on the trail of a mysterious young woman who appears to have been present at each scene of a years-long string of "accidents" and murder, and who may well be that most rare of killers: a female serial.  
Roarke's hunt for her takes him across three states... while in a small coastal town, a young father and his five-year old son, both wounded from a recent divorce, encounter a lost and compelling young woman on the beach and strike up an unlikely friendship without realizing how deadly she may be.

As Roarke uncovers the shocking truth of her background, he realizes she is on a mission of her own, and must race to capture her before more blood is shed.  

Now available in audio!

Amazon Amazon UK
Also, Huntress Moon is now available for Nook for just $3.99. 

Barnes & Noble

Story Elements Checklist for Generating Index Cards

Thanks to everyone who made it to our Stealing Hollywood's Magic panel, even at ten in the morning after a Bourbon Street pub crawl! You were a great crowd.
As promised, I'll be posting some follow up posts for you to read and even print out if it's useful for you. First of all, here's the story elements checklist of what elements tend to end up in which acts of the three-act structure. Next I'll post some examples of Act Climaxes.
But save all this for later! You're in New Orleans. Go enjoy this fabulous city.
- Alex

 
STORY ELEMENTS CHECKLIST FOR GENERATING INDEX CARDS
ACT ONE
• Opening Image • Meet the Hero or Heroine
 • Hero/ine’s Ordinary World • Hero/ine’s Inner and Outer Desire
 • Hero/ine’s Problem • Hero/ine’s Ghost • Hero/ine’s Special Skills • Hero/ine’s Arc • Inciting Incident/ Call to Adventure • The Offer S/he Can’t Refuse (possibly) • Sequence One Climax
 • Meet the Antagonist (and/or introduce a Mystery, which is what you do when you’re going to keep your antagonist hidden to reveal at the end) • 
State the Theme/ What’s the story about?
 • Introduce Allies
 •  Introduce Mentor
 (possibly) • Introduce Love Interest 
(possibly) • Plants/Reveals (or: Set ups and Payoffs)
 • Hope/Fear (and Stakes)
 • Ticking Clock (possibly. May not have one and may be revealed later in the story) • MacGuffin (not all stories have a MacGuffin) • Central Question/Central Story Action
 • Hero/ine’s Plan (may be at beginning of Act II) • Act One Climax
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ACT TWO, PART ONE
• Crossing the Threshold/ Into the Special World (may occur in Act One) • Threshold Guardian/Guardian at the Gate (possibly) • Hero/ine’s Plan (may be introduced in Act One) • Antagonist’s Plan (may be introduced in Act One) • Picking up new Allies • Assembling the Team • Training Sequence (in some stories) • Series of Tests • Bonding with Allies/Love Interest • The Promise of the Genre • Attacks by the Antagonist (whether or not the Hero/ine recognizes these as coming from the antagonist) • In a detective story, Questioning Witnesses, Lining Up and Eliminating Suspects, Following Clues.
THE MIDPOINT 
• Completely changes the game • Locks the hero/ine into a situation or action • Can be a huge revelation • Can be a huge defeat • Can be a “Now it’s personal” loss • Can be sex at 60 – the lovers finally get together, only to open up a whole new world of problems
ACT TWO, PART TWO
• Recalibrating – after the shock or defeat of the game-changer in the midpoint, the hero/ine must Revamp The Plan and try a New Mode of Attack. • Escalating Actions/ Obsessive Drive • Hard Choices and Crossing The Line (immoral actions by the main character to get what s/he wants) • Loss of Key Allies (possibly because of the hero/ine’s obsessive actions, possibly through death or injury by the antagonist). • A Ticking Clock (can happen anywhere in the story) • Reversals and Revelations/Twists. • The Long Dark Night of the Soul and/or Visit to Death (also known as: All Is Lost) This is very often the Act II Climax. • In a romance, The Lover Makes a Stand.  This is very often the All is Lost Moment and Act II Climax.
THE SECOND ACT CLIMAX
• Is often the All is Lost scene, but also can be a Final Revelation before the end game: the knowledge of who the opponent really is. Or the hero/ine finally sees the whole problem or mystery in a different way. And most often these two scenes, All is Lost and the Final Revelation, combine in a double punch. • Answers the Central Question
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ACT THREE
The third act is basically the Final Battle and Resolution. It can often be one continuous sequence – the chase and confrontation, or confrontation and chase. There may be a final preparation for battle, or it might be done on the fly. Either here or in the last part of the second act the hero will make a new, FINAL PLAN, based on the new information and revelations of the second act.
The essence of a third act is the final showdown between protagonist and antagonist. It is often divided into two sequences:
1. Getting there (Storming the Castle)
There is often a quick reassembling of the team. A Plan is made to storm the castle. There may even be some quick training and gathering of tools. And the team will often fight the first battle, in which we see the growth of individual members of the team, and there may be another heartbreaking loss.
Then the hero/ine will almost always go in alone to face the antagonist in:
2. The final battle itself 
• Thematic Location - often a visual and literal representation of the Hero/ine’s Greatest Nightmare (even in a comedy) • The protagonist’s character change • The antagonist’s character change (if any) • Possibly ally/allies’ character changes and/or gaining of desire • Possibly a huge final reversal or reveal (twist), or even a whole series of payoffs that you’ve been saving (as in Back to the Future and It’s A Wonderful Life) • RESOLUTION: A glimpse into the New Way of Life that the hero/ine will be living after this whole ordeal and all s/he’s learned from it. • Closing Image
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Want more?  Screenwriting Tricks for Authors and Writing Love, Screenwriting Tricks for Authors, II are available in multiple formats, $3.99 and $2.99.

- Kindle
- Amazon UK
- Amazon DE 





- Smashwords (includes online viewing and pdf file) 
- Amazon/Kindle
- Barnes & Noble/Nook
- Amazon UK
- Amazon DE

Romantic Times Booklovers Convention in New Orleans!

I'm on my way to New Orleans this week, for the Romantic Times Booklovers Convention.

I have to say, I love my life. Not only do I get to write books for a living, I am required to go to fabulous places and meet fabulous people at these fabulous events.  And RT is my secret favorite convention.

What you’ve probably heard about RT – if you’ve heard anything at all – is that it’s that it’s full of women dressed as vampires and fairies, and half-naked male cover models slinking around. Well, you would be right. But there’s a lot more to it than that. Really.

I think it’s important for people in the mystery, thriller and, yes, even horror genres, to hear this because Romantic Times is a convention that probably is not on the radar for other genre writers – but it should be.



I heard from almost the very beginning of my promotional efforts that I should go to RT because I write sexy and I write paranormal, and because romance readers simply Buy Books. In fact, they Buy Books voraciously, which I discovered when I was on my first book tour (for The Harrowing ) and I went to my first romance-centric workshop, Heather Graham’s Writers for New Orleans, and sold more books to an audience that didn’t know me from Adam than I had sold at several other genre conventions combined.

But the thing that stunned me from the very first moment of my first Romantic Times convention was how incredibly professionally and logically organized RT is. It’s put on by the Romantic Times review magazine and it’s very adamantly a fan conference. Even though there are lots of aspiring authors there, and great programs for them (including a slew of top agents and editors taking pitches), this conference is also a goldmine for published authors because there are so many people there just to meet authors and buy books (well, okay, and attend the endless and amazingly fun parties, which I’ll get to…)

Let me make this perfectly clear. I never read romances as a kid, or any time after – I had less than zero interest, although looking back I can see there was some romance crossover in the Gothic thrillers I gobbled up in my endless quest for the supernatural. And it’s that crossoverness that definitely makes Romantic Times a more obvious bet for me than a balls-out horror writer, or hard crime writer, because paranormal is so huge right now – in romances AND mysteries, and though a lot of paranormal seems to be about warm and fuzzy werewolves and endless variations on quirky vampires, there’s also a significant segment of the paranormal readership that likes a good straight-up ghost story.

But romance readers are even more broad in their tastes than that.


I think we all, admit it, can be a little snotty about our own genre, and look down on writers who write and readers who read things that we wouldn’t necessarily read or write ourselves. But romance readers buy more books than any other single group of readers and they do not have the same prejudices. They love reading, they love authors, they love books. Period. Give me that reader any old time.

I am frankly staggered at how smart and eclectic this genre is about marketing and promotion – and craft. RT really works to recruit and organize mystery and thriller authors to present workshops and panels on those genres. They signed me up to give this “Screenwriting Tricks for Authors” class as a specialty workshop. The conference also features some unique ways of handling reader/author interaction. Apart from outside bookseller events, there is only one mass signing – that takes place in a HUGE convention room on Saturday, after all the authors have already done their panels. The book fair is heavily promoted to the community, on radio, TV and in print, and lots of readers turn up just for that. The authors are lined up alphabetically at long rows of tables, and the readers just walk up and down the aisles. There are drawings for dozens of author-donated gift baskets going on throughout the whole three hour signing, and video screens project book trailers through the whole event as well (I love having my book trailers playing in the book room and on the hotel TV during the convention. And yeah, you bet that sold books for me last year, and this year, and beyond that, it was putting my name and my book titles out there for the entire convention, so that even people who would never buy what I write are now aware of me as an author.).

Another cool feature of RT is “Club RT”. Throughout the convention, in the dealers’ room there are a couple dozen little café tables set up and authors are scheduled for one hour slots where they just sit at these tables and anyone who wants to can come up and chat, get books signed, etc. If I were an aspiring author I would spend half my time at this conference just going around to chat with different authors in my genre. A truly unique and intimate opportunity for authors, aspiring authors, and fans.

Of course a feature of RT I really love and am thrilled to be able to participate in is Heather Graham’s Vampire Dinner Theater, an original musical review written by Heather and featuring the Slush Pile Players, a group of authors with with professional backgrounds in music and theater, and always featuring several of Heather’s charming and multitalented offspring.

And this year I've teamed up with my thriller author friends  David Morrell, Toni McGee Causey, Allison Brennan, CJ Lyons and Heather Graham to host a special private party for librarians, booksellers, bloggers and reviewers.

I also have to say, when women organize these things everything is just – prettier. The attention to detail is staggering. Promo Alley, where authors put out their postcards and bookmarks and giveaways, is a long aisle of covered tables on both sides, and instead of having people just throw their swag on the tables, all the giveaways have to be in displays or decorated baskets. Yes, that takes an extra hour of prep time, but oh man, is it worth it. You can actually SEE the promo stuff, and you get a feel for each author from the decorations of the boxes and baskets. Brilliant idea.

Ditto with the parties. RT has professional costumers/decorators who dress the ballrooms for the theme parties – such as Moulin Rouge, Midnight at the Oasis, Jungle Love, the Golden Age of Hollywood and of course, the Faery Ball. There is lighting. There are trees. There are enormous Moroccan pillows. There are stage backdrops. There are mirror balls and candles. There are screaming mechanical skulls. And the level of personal costuming rivaled the Renaissance Faire events and special effects masters’ parties I’ve been to in LA (I never even dreamed there were so many variations on fairies. Seriously…).

And these women DANCE. All night. I’m sorry, but you can only talk so much. You get out on the dance floor with a bunch of readers screaming “It’s Raining Men” and you have made friends for life.

And the point of the parties, is, of course, that they attract fans. Boy, do they.

If this is all sounding a little estrogen-heavy, you’re right. But remember – women buy books. And male authors are catching on to the gold mine of readers to be - mined - at RT and are coming over to the decadent side. F.Paul Wilson is a regular, Rob Gregory Browne, Joe Konrath and Jeff Strand have all attended, this year Lee Child and Barry Eisler will be there,  and  I expect that more and more men are going to be realizing what an advantage that Y chromosome gives them in a situation like this.

And well, okay, I admit it – all professionalism aside - after years of having to put up with only female strippers at Hollywood events, I like the turnabout of having half-naked beefcake at a convention.

Sue me.

- Alex

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If you're at RT or in the New Orleans area, please join me for any or all of these events. Free books, food and libations!


   > Saints of Suspense party, Tuesday, May 13 6:30-9 p.m.  Meet bestselling thriller authors for a New Orleans style jazz party in a historic brewery!
   > Mardi Gras World party:  Wednesday, May 14, 6:30 p.m
            Parade and booth with Heather Graham (lots of giveaways, and food!)
   > Stealing Hollywood's Magic: panel:  Friday, May 16,  10 a.m.-11 a.m.
   > Heather Graham's Vampire Dinner Theater:  Friday, May 16, 8:45 pm to 12 am
            Mardi Gras Magic and Mayhem. Dinner, show, costume contest, giveaways, dancing

Workshop intensive in June

Next month I'm teaching the one really intensive workshop I do all year, five full days at the West Texas A&M Writers Academy. I wanted to post about it because if you're looking for some serious hands-on help with a book or script, this is the one.

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June 9-13, 2014

West Texas A&M University and the Office of Continuing Education are pleased to host the annual WT Writers' Academy (WTWA) on our campus. Join us for daily classes, afternoon critiques and seminars. On-campus housing available for $25/night.

For info and to register, or call 806-651-2037.

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Usually when I do a workshop it's a day-long interactive lecture  that I give to a large class - sixty to several hundred people - in which I review the Three-Act, Eight Sequence Structure and other general film writing techniques that are invaluable for authors, and then start with Act I and go through all the story elements I talk about here and in the workbooks, one sequence at a time.

Which is a great overview, and I answer a lot of individual questions and use lots of examples, but it's by necessity a very general class.

At the Writers Academy,  the class size is limited to twelve people and we can go through everyone's stories one sequence, even one story element, at a time.  I love being able to be this hands-on (at least, for a limited time!)  and it's really remarkable to see writers at very different levels and at very different points in the writing process pull their ideas into coherent, complete and exciting story outlines in just five days.

At first you can see some people in the class are so focused on their own stories that they don't pay any attention to the other writers as they talk about their stories - they just scribble notes on their own stories until it's their turn to talk.  But by the third day or so it's starting to sink in that listening to OTHER people's stories, and brainstorming to solve SOMEONE ELSE'S story problem, is actually helping them become better writers. And you can see the lightbulbs go on - that it doesn't matter that other people in the class are writing in different genres - that story structure applies across the board, and comparing stories in different genres actually gives you a better understanding of your own genre.

I hope that one thing the class shows people is that to get good at telling stories you have to actively practice story structure, spitballing story problems, comparing story solutions.  I hope it shows people that you have to fall in love with - not just writing, but STORY.

It's always a fantastic class, and I'd be happy to answer questions about the class either privately or in the comments, for anyone who's interested.

- Alex


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Screenwriting Tricks for Authors and Writing Love, Screenwriting Tricks for Authors, are available in multiple formats, $3.99 and $2.99.

- Kindle
- Amazon UK
- Amazon DE 





- Smashwords (includes online viewing and pdf file) 
- Amazon/Kindle
- Barnes & Noble/Nook
- Amazon UK
- Amazon DE

Key Story Elements: INNER AND OUTER DESIRE

I got some good questions this week on the idea of the protagonist's INNER AND OUTER DESIRES (for the discussion, see the Comments section here. To follow up, I wanted to repost on the whole concept.

So let's talk about this crucial idea of INNER AND OUTER DESIRE.

The first thing any acting student learns in terms of creating a character and building a scene is to ask the question: “What do I WANT?” - in every scene, and in the story overall. When I was directing plays (yeah, in one of my multiple past lives) and a scene was just lying dead on the stage, I could always get the actors to breathe life into it by getting them to clarify what they wanted in the scene and simply playing that want.
This is something that starts in the writing, obviously, and should always be on the author’s mind, too: Who wants what in the scene, and how do those desires conflict? Who WINS in the scene?

But even before all that, one of the most important steps of creating a story, from the very beginning, is identifying the protagonist overall desire and need in the story. You also hear this called “internal” and “external” desire, and “want” and “deep need”, but it’s all the same thing. A strong main character will want something immediately, like to get that promotion, or to have sex with the love interest. But there’s something underneath that surface want that is really driving the character, and in good characters, those inner and outer desires are in conflict. Also, the character will KNOW that s/he wants that outer desire, but probably will have very little idea that what she really needs is the inner desire.

One of the great examples of all time of inner and outer desire in conflict is in the George Bailey character in IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE. From the very beginning George wants to see the world, to do big things, design big buildings – all very male, external, explosive goals. But his deep need is to become a good man and community leader like his father, who does big things and fights big battles – but on a microcosm, in their tiny, “boring” little community of Bedford Falls, which George can’t wait to escape.

But every choice he actually makes in the story defers his external need to escape, and ties him closer to the community that he becomes the moral leader of, as he takes on his late father’s role and battles the town’s would-be dictator, Mr. Potter. George does not take on that role happily – he fights it every single step of the way, and resents it a good bit of the time. But it’s that conflict which makes George such a great character whom we emphasize with – it’s a story of how an ordinary man becomes a true hero.

In SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, Clarice’s outer desire is for advancement in the FBI. And Harris conveys this desire in what is a brilliant storytelling trick: He has Dr. Lecter tell her so. “You’re sooooo ambitious, aren’t you?” He purrs. And “I’ll give you what you most desire, Clarice. Advancement.”

It’s brilliant because it makes Lecter all-knowing, but it also clearly spells out Clarice’s desire, which the audience/reader really does need to know to commit to the character and relax into the story. I’m a big believer in just spelling it out.

But what Clarice REALLY needs is not advancement. What she needs to save a lamb – the lamb that haunts her dreams, the lamb she hears screaming. In the story, the kidnapped senator’s daughter Catherine is the lamb, and Harris uses animal imagery to subtly evoke a lamb and the scene of the slaughter of the lambs that haunts Clarice.

And again, Lecter is the one who draws this deep need out of Clarice.

Also Clarice’s need and desire come into conflict: what she WANTS is advancement, but in order to save Catherine, she has to defy her superiors and jeopardize her graduation from the academy.

It’s usually true that the external desire will be a selfish want – something the protagonist wants for him or herself, and the inner need will be unselfish - something the protagonst comes to want for other people. This is a useful guideline because it clearly shows character growth.

Closely entwined with the inner/outer desire lines is the ARC of the character (since you are devising the end of your story at the same time as you’re planning the beginning.) The arc of the character is what the character learns during the course of the story, and how s/he changes because of it. It could be said that the arc of a character is almost always about the character realizing that s/he’s been obsessed with an outer goal or desire, when what she really needs to be whole, fulfilled, and lovable is (fill in the blank). On top of that a character will go from shy and repressed to a capable and respected leader, from selfish to altruistic, from pathological liar to a seeker of truth… and the bigger the change, the more impact the story will have, as long as you keep it believable.

So it’s essential to know where you want your character to end up. Once you know that, you can work backward to create a number of personal obstacles and external problems that are keeping that character from being everything s/he can be.


Now let's explore this key story element visually.

I've said here before that it's important to state your hero/ine’s outer desire aloud - either the character saying it or someone close to them (or better yet, in opposition to them) stating it for them.

Well, what I really meant is, you need to make inner and outer desire crystal clear. And that is often better accomplished visually than in words. You don’t actually have to have the hero say he wants the heroine, if you describe how his world stops at the moment that he meets her (as we see done so well in Notting Hill, as I talked about last post.).

Funny Girl is a great example of making the desire of the heroine concrete and visual (musicals so often do this brilliantly, in song and in visuals). Early in the story Barbra Streisand as Fanny Brice is fired from the chorus line of a vaudeville show because she’s a terrible dancer and doesn’t, well, fit in. She tries to convince the producer to rehire her in a song (“I’m The Greatest Star”) but gets thrown out of the theater anyway. Out in the alley she makes a decision and storms back in to try again, still singing - only to find the theater empty. Then, out alone on stage, she has that moment – that I’m sure every actor and singer and dancer in the history of the world has had – that moment of being alone on an empty stage with the entire vast history and power of the theater around you – and she is speechless, silenced… and then finishes the song with a power and passion we haven’t seen in her yet. We see, unequivocally, that she IS a star.

Her desire is being voiced in the song: “I’m the Greatest Star” – but the visuals give it the emotional power – and truth. This is her drive – this is what she would kill for.

Think you can’t put that on the page? Come on, I know I could. And I think it’s instructive to look at musicals for the way they depict unadulterated longing. That’s the kind of emotion we want to get on the page, right? Try using that as inspiration.

It’s also interesting to look at the scene where Fanny first meets Nick Arnstein, and is instantly smitten. It’s clearly love… but not quite the moment that her first solo on stage is. And the whole story is about those two desires: for stardom and for love – are in conflict. I think it’s a great example of visualizing both the inner and outer desires.

Take Raging Bull. Jake LaMotta’s OUTER DESIRE is clear – he states it flat out, and he and all his entourage are working toward it. He wants to be a champion boxer.

But the moment he meets Vickie, we see a new DESIRE begin, and it’s quickly apparent that that new desire is going to conflict with his stated desire. He wants this woman, and Scorsese films Jake’s view of her so beautifully: she sits at the edge of a swimming pool, blonde and pale, with the sun and the water caressing her… the film goes into slightly slow motion as she moves her legs in the water. It’s a terrific depiction of the thunderbolt of love, and the beginning of obsession; time stops for the hero when he sees the loved one.

(That slow motion technique is used to wryly comic effect to introduce the teenage love interest, Astrid, in the wonderful animated fantasy, How To Train Your Dragon. Not only does the world go into slo-mo when protagonist Hiccup first introduces her in narration in the film, but also the backdrop is an explosion of fire and the expression on Hiccup’s face is downright starry.)

I want to note that the establishing of OUTER DESIRE is such a big moment that it’s often used as the SEQUENCE ONE CLIMAX, as it is in Raging Bull and Funny Girl (the song gets her hired by the musical director at the theater). The hero/ine’s desire is important to establish early on, so using it as the Act One Climax would in most cases be too late.

It’s helpful to muse on how you might use any or all of the six senses to externalize INNER AND OUTER DESIRE. In It’s A Wonderful Life the sound of a train whistle is like a knife in George Bailey’s heart, reminding him of the places he’s never been able to go. As we all know, scent can be the most powerfully evocative of all senses… why not use it to externalize your own hero/ine’s desire?

And in the action thriller Collateral Jamie Foxx’s outer desire (two of them, actually) is established in a whole scene: when Jada Pinkett Smith gets into his cab for a short ride, their wonderful, sparkling, chemistry-laced dialogue not only reveals to us his dream of running a limo company (OUTER DESIRE), but also shows him developing a powerful new Inner and Outer Desire: He wants her (OUTER DESIRE ), but more than that: he wants to be a man worthy of her (INNER DESIRE). Which is so often the case in a love story or love subplot. And the way he can become a man worthy of her is to stop dreaming about the limo company and DO IT.

This terrific film shows how effective it can be to take an entire scene to detail the hero/ine’s desire line.

And remember that in a love story the moment of seeing the loved one for the first time does not just begin the inner – or sometimes outer! – desire, but it’s often also the INCITING INCIDENT and/or CALL TO ADVENTURE of the story.

Hmm, a lot of love story examples this time, for a change! May be the influence of some wedding that took place recently…

So you know the question. What are some examples of how filmmakers or authors externalize the main character's INNER AND OUTER DESIRE?

- Alex


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Want more?  Screenwriting Tricks for Authors and Writing Love, Screenwriting Tricks for Authors, are available in multiple formats, $3.99 and $2.99.

- Kindle
- Amazon UK
- Amazon DE 





- Smashwords (includes online viewing and pdf file) 
- Amazon/Kindle
- Barnes & Noble/Nook
- Amazon UK
- Amazon DE

What Works? (Notes on Book Marketing)

In Spring the writer's mind not-so-lightly turns to thoughts of — marketing. At least, mine always does. Winter is great for hunkering down and writing, but Spring rolls around and I suddenly remember the other half of my job.

Maybe because it's the beginning of conference season and suddenly there are all these other authors around, comparing notes and strategies. Well, I'll be doing just that at Left Coast Crime this weekend, so a report on that to come, but also I thought I'd double my own marketing efforts by blogging about what I'm doing, in a series of posts.

And it's useful to start out by looking back on what I used to do, and how things have changed in just a few short years. I originally posted this blog in October 2008, but Lee Child's comments are just as true as ever, and what he says below is something EVERY author needs to understand.


What Works?  (Notes on Book Marketing)

On the excellent book promotion Yahoo group Murder Must Advertise (which was a godsend to me when I was scrambling to figure out the publishing biz after the sale of my first book, The Harrowing), Jeff Marks asked these questions of the month for those who attended Bouchercon:

1. What did you do to promote your book?

2. What do you think worked best?

Great questions to ask and ponder, but I find that it's hard to pinpoint what it is that works to market your books. I mean, it ALL works. And what works "best" at one conference might not work as well at the next con, so you're constantly shifting your strategies and emphases.

At B'Con I:

- Was on a well-attended panel on supernatural fiction.
- Did an outside signing at a local bookstore with other authors.
- Did a panel at Pratt Library.
- Dropped in to other local bookstores to sign stock and meet the managers.
- Left bookmarks and postcards on all the giveaway tables.
- Circulated in the book room and met or reconnected with all the booksellers.
- Met with my agent and editor
- Attended parties to network
- Stayed in the bar till all hours to network
- Hung out in the hospitality lounge to network
- Hung out in the halls to network
- Hung out in the bathroom to network
- Hung out on the deck to network
- Made a point of introducing myself to authors I love and admire and being simply a raving fangirl
- Blogged about all of it afterward here and at Murderati:

But most of all, I was just there, and having fun and being available to anyone who wanted to talk to me, which I suspect is the most effective marketing of all - and such a pleasure that it doesn't feel like work at all.

Luckily I love people and the social aspects of this business of promotion - it's a great balance to that neurotic solitude of writing.

Now, what worked best of all of that I've listed above? I don't have a clue. It's everything you do, all the time.

But there are realities we have to be aware of. A few months ago there was an excellent discussion at David Montgomery's Crime Fiction Dossier about promotion, which I want to link here for posterity (and my own easy reference!), and Lee Child weighed in with this:

Everything works. Literally everything. I don't think there is anything I have ever done that hasn't produced at least a couple of readers. Years later one fan told me she tried my books because I greeted someone politely at a conference, and she thought, he's a gentleman, I should try his books.

But Dusty is right because getting a couple of readers at a time is obviously at the cost-ineffective end of the scale.

So obviously the question is what makes the big impact?

And, problematically, the answers we hear tend to ignore the 800-lb gorilla in the room, which is that everything we talk about in blogs like these addresses only the tiny grains of sand scattered in front of the huge mountain - and the huge mountain is expensive, committed, unrelenting support from a major publisher ... specifically, penetration to every conceivable point of sale. Advertising and reviews are only the tip of the iceberg. The real effort (and cost and expertise) goes into making sure that your book is actually for sale everywhere. If your book is in the 20-slot rack at the airport or the drugstore, it will sell purely by the law of averages to one in 20 customers.

So, should authors without massive publisher support do nothing? No, because being proactive is a kind of "audition" for the moment when a publisher decides who exactly to back in a big way. There are always five or six contenders, and being a helpful, motivated person can tip the decision your way.


The whole discussion (and the links from it) is worth reading and absorbing.

And here are a couple of other articles I find particularly helpful -

- From David Montgomery on Buzz, Balls and Hype

- Putnam editor-in-chief Neil Nyren on Murderati


--------------------------------------------------------------
I got a great Equinox present yesterday -

The Huffington Post Books blog recommended the Huntress series on their "Women You Should Be Reading" list.  (As part of the #ReadWomen2014 movement. Some great authors in all genres, including my friend and Weymouth 7 critique pal Margaret Maron.


Here's the list.


Get Books 1 & 2:



Amazon US Amazon UK   Amazon DE


FBI Special Agent Matthew Roarke is closing in on a bust of a major criminal organization in San Francisco when he witnesses an undercover member of his team killed right in front of him on a busy street, an accident Roarke can't believe is coincidental. His suspicions put him on the trail of a mysterious young woman who appears to have been present at each scene of a years-long string of "accidents" and murders, and who may well be that most rare of killers: a female serial.
Roarke's hunt for her takes him across three states...while in a small coastal town, a young father and his five-year old son, both wounded from a recent divorce, encounter a lost and compelling young woman on the beach and strike up an unlikely friendship without realizing how deadly she may be.
As Roarke uncovers the shocking truth of her background, he realizes she is on a mission of her own, and must race to capture her before more blood is shed.

- An ITW Thriller Award Nominee for Best Original E Book Novel- A Suspense Magazine Pick for Best Thriller of 2012
"This interstate manhunt has plenty of thrills... Sokoloff's choice to present both Roarke's and the killer's perspectives helps keep the drama taut and the pages flying."   -- Kirkus Reviews



Book II in the Huntress/FBI series, Blood Moon

Amazon US
Amazon UK
Amazon DE

Twenty-five years have passed since a savage killer terrorized California, massacring three ordinary families before disappearing without a trace.
The haunted child who was the only surviving victim of his rampage is now wanted by the FBI  for brutal crimes of her own, and Special Agent Matthew Roarke is on an interstate manhunt for her, despite his conflicted sympathies for her history and motives.
But when his search for her unearths evidence of new family slayings, the dangerous woman Roarke seeks - and wants - may be his only hope of preventing another bloodbath.

Groundhog Day: Full Story Structure Breakdown

In tribute to the great Harold Ramis, here's my full story structure breakdown of one of my favorite movies of all time, the brilliant Groundhog Day.



Written by Danny Rubin and Harold RamisDirected by Harold RamisStarring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell1993Running time 101 min.
Groundhog Day is one of my favorite film love stories, with a rare protagonist: an unlikable one who goes through a major character arc because of the crucible of love (and with a little help from the weather gods). Along with being a time loop story, an alternate reality story, and a high-concept comedy, it’s a great example of a male redemption story which also manages to hit all the right love story beats while at the same time completely satirizing those love story beats. It’s an anti-chick-flick story which nonetheless charms the chicks. In fact, I’m pretty certain that Ramis or Rubin, or both, made themselves a list of romantic comedy tropes and set out to mock every one of them, starting with the concept of the MAGICAL DAY — in this case, the least likely magical day you can imagine. Who ever would associate Groundhog Day with love? (But note that it is the closest holiday to Valentine's Day....)
ACT ONE
SEQUENCE ONE
OPENING IMAGE: This is one of my favorite, sly opening images of all time. It’s a shot of very fast moving clouds in a blue sky, with some sort of carnival music underneath. Now, this is a natural image for the story, which is about a weatherman. But I think there’s a lot more going on with this image. Those are very active clouds. I would even say they’re scheming. Yes, I’m from Berkeley and this may be some overanthropomorphizing on my part (or possibly some sort of flashback) — but I honestly think I’m on to something here. I think the filmmakers are deliberately making the weather an antagonist — and mentor — for the protagonist, who has some pretty severe need of character change. Call it weather, call it the weather gods, call it fate — but think about it. There’s no obvious human antagonist in this story. Instead, there is some kind of supernatural force working here to effect the change in surly protagonist Phil Connors.
And the shot to me also recalls the opening image of It’s a Wonderful Life, to which this film obviously owes much. In IAWL, the opening scene consists of snow falling heavily on small town Bedford Falls, with voice-over prayers for someone named George Bailey, which drift gradually upward until we fix on clusters of stars in a night sky. Two of the constellations start to talk about how this is George’s critical night — and we understand there is going to be some heavenly intercession in whatever this George Bailey’s crisis is.
And intercession is exactly what happens with Phil in Groundhog Day, in a more subtle but very effective way.
CUT TO: A news studio, with weatherman Phil Connors doing his shtick in front of a blue screen (basically waving his arms around, a nice visual depiction of the meaninglessness of his job). However, despite his sarcasm and his obvious disdain for what he does — and disdain for his coworkers, too — Phil has star quality (it’s Bill Murray, after all) and he is more than providing the show that the job calls for.
HERO’S OUTER DESIRE: Phil wants out of Pittsburg and onto a major network. One of his first off-camera lines of dialogue is that a major network is interested in him. Yes, have the hero STATE WHAT HE WANTS.
We learn right away that Phil is en route to one of his most despised shoots — up to tiny Punxsutawney to report on the annual Groundhog Day festival (the INCITING INCIDENT — he’s sent off on a job). Going with him are long-suffering cameraman Larry and wholesome, optimistic producer Rita, whom we see first on camera, trying to figure out how the blue screen works. There’s a long close up on Phil’s face as he watches her — it looks like he thinks this woman is a moron. At least, that’s what we would expect him to be thinking. Actually, this is his real CALL TO ADVENTURE (so often in a love story the CALL is seeing the beloved for the first time). And much later in the story Phil confesses to a sleeping Rita what he was actually thinking when he looked at her — it’s a wonderful PLANT.
So they’re off on the road; under the credits we see shots of the big city (relatively), Pittsburgh, then the van drives over a bridge and into snow-dusted mountains with small towns. (The song: “I’m Your Weatherman)." This is the first, more overt INTO THE SPECIAL WORLD moment. Remember that bridges are overt symbols of transition and change.  Out of the city, into a small mountain town. This kind of contrast underscores the feeling of newness and adventure we want to experience in an Into The Special World transition. But a second, more magical INTO THE SPECIAL WORLD is coming...  
In the van, Phil mocks both the festival and impossibly upbeat Rita mercilessly, but still does it with enough Bill Murray charm that we see Rita is amused, and attracted. (Right off the bat we get the DANCE scene — they play well together and Rita is unflapped by Phil’s volleys; she’s able to keep his humor from descending into outright meanness. But meanness is definitely a danger; Phil desperately needs redeeming.)
The crew arrives on Main Street, Punxsutawney, which if you ask me looks exactly like Bedford Falls. Rita has booked Phil into a nice B&B while she and Larry are staying in a cheap hotel. She tells him to “Get some sleep.”
Lights out, and then up on the clock alarm by Phil’s bed (this clock will play a huge role) — clicking over to 6 a.m. for the first time in the film as “I Got You, Babe,” plays. (I have to think this is the Fates having a laugh; they certainly have “got” Phil. But of course, it’s also a love song … ) The whole following sequence — every comic bit, line of dialogue, action and character in it — is the master sequence for all the variations on it that are to come.
• Phil washes up at the sink to the obnoxious patter of the radio jockeys talking about Groundhog Day.• Phil is scathing to a cheery overweight guest in the upstairs hall.• Downstairs, Phil mocks the even more cheery proprietress of the B&B.• On the street, Phil joins the townspeople heading toward Gobbler’s Knob.• Phil pretends he has no money for the elderly panhandler on a street corner.• Ned Ryerson, a high school non-friend of Phil’s, recognizes him and tries to sell him life insurance.• Phil steps in an icy pothole while trying to escape from Ned.• Phil walks through the throngs of Groundhog Day festival-goers at the Knob (as the band plays “The Pennsylvania Polka”) to join Rita and Larry. Phil does the TV commentary on the groundhog festival: groundhog “Phil” is removed from his cave, consults with town fathers, and sees his shadow. Six more weeks of winter (FORESHADOWING).• Phil insists on leaving town immediately.• On the road, the crew hits a roadblock — cars are being turned back because of a big blizzard. (HERO LOCKED INTO THE SITUATION.)(This is a trope in romantic comedy — the Fates seem to intervene in the form of the weather, forcing the hero or heroine onto a path s/he hadn’t planned for, as we see in New in Town and Leap Year. Groundhog Day takes this and many other romantic comedy clichés and mocks them at the same time as it gets all the mileage it can out of the romance of the situations — which is a big reason the story appealed equally to male and female audiences. Note that the same slightly surreal music from the opening shot is playing under this scene — it’s the Fates stepping in, I’m telling you! I’d also call this the ANTAGONIST’S PLAN. It’s just delicious that the weather has turned into Phil’s opponent. And Phil knows it, as he rails at the roadblock cop: “I make the weather.” (Uh, oh — if I’m not mistaken, this is DEFYING THE GODS. It’s never good when mortals do that …)• Back in the B&;B, Phil can’t find transportation or even a phone line out of town.• In his room he tries to shower and is assaulted by icy water; the pipes are frozen.• He goes to bed. (18:30)
SEQUENCE TWO
And in the morning, Phil wakes up — to the exact same clock shot, the exact same song, the exact same radio patter. Phil assumes the repetition is a studio gaffe: they’ve put in yesterday’s tape by mistake. (A great rational response to a bizarre situation.) But when he looks out the window there’s very little snow on the ground, and people seem to be headed toward Gobbler’s Knob in droves, just as they did yesterday.

And here’s the second, more subtle, but real CROSSING THE THRESHOLD/INTO THE SPECIAL WORLD: when Phil wakes up in the morning to a replaying of the day he just spent. The filmmakers cue this moment with the shot of the clock alarm clicking over to 6 a.m., while “I Got You, Babe” plays on the radio. It’s a big visual that will repeat and repeat and repeat. The numbers on the clock are like a door, and they usher Phil into the real Special World: a time loop where every day is Groundhog Day and there’s no escaping Punxsutawney, PA.
Out in the hallway he runs into the same portly guest, who asks him the same cheery questions. Phil starts to get uneasy then attacks the guest, demanding to know what’s going on.
In the breakfast room, a dazed Phil is nicer to the proprietress just from shock.
He is increasingly distressed as he goes to Gobbler’s Knob (meeting Ned again, stepping in the icy pothole) and finds the festivities occurring in the same order. His newscast is considerably less sarcastic, and Rita wonders.
By now sure that the blizzard is coming and he’s trapped, Phil doesn’t leave in the van with Larry and Rita. At the B&B he again phones a travel agent and tries to get out of town some other way; when the travel agent suggests he try again tomorrow, Phil rails, “What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t today.” A nice bit of comic dialogue that also clearly states Phil’s FEAR. (SPELL IT OUT.)
Before he goes to sleep he breaks a pencil and sets it on the bed table. (TESTING THE RULES.) (25:44)
Phil wakes for the third time to the same song, the same radio banter. The pencil is intact, reconstituted.
Phil speeds through the same sequence of events, then at Gobbler’s Knob tells Rita he’s not going to do the show; he’s already done it twice already, and something is terribly wrong. Rita insists he do the show, they’ll talk after. (27:30)
At the diner, Phil tells Rita “I’m reliving the day over and over. I need help.”
Rita thinks he needs a doctor. (So this is the minor, initial PLAN.) Note the stopped clocks on the wall behind Phil, and the bumper sticker that says “The Spirit” behind Rita. In fact, the Tip Top café logo outside on the building is a clock — with no hands.
Rita and Larry take Phil to a doctor. The CAT scan is clean; the doctor suggests a shrink. Phil visits a very young psychologist who has no idea what to do with his problem but suggests they meet again tomorrow.
Phil gets drunk in a bowling alley with two locals. He asks them: “What if you woke up in the same place every day and every day was just the same and there was nothing you could do about it?” The men seem to feel that’s life, in a nutshell. (THEME.) As they leave the bar, the two men are way too drunk to drive, so Phil gets into the driver’s seat of the car and then suddenly takes off, asking, “What if there were no consequences?” One of the drunks answers, “We could do whatever we wanted.” And Phil says, “Exactly.” (PLAN). He races through the town, picking up a police tail, drives on the railroad tracks, barely missing a train, and crashes into a giant groundhog cutout in a parking lot. The sequence ends with the jail cell door closing on Phil … (35 min).
ACT ONE CLIMAX (A comic car chase, crash, SETPIECE.)
… and Phil wakes up in the morning in the B&B bed, to the same clock, the same song. 


ACT TWO, PART 1
SEQUENCE THREE
… and Phil wakes up in the B&B bed, to the same clock, the same song. This time he is elated, though. Downstairs, he asks the proprietress if the cops have been by looking for him, and when she says no, he kisses her. He announces “I’m not going to live by their rules anymore!” We see immediately his PLAN is to take every advantage of his new situation (and we’re already looking forward to what Bill Murray is going to do with this). (37 min.)
At the diner, Rita watches in disgust as Phil eats a huge spread of various full breakfasts and pastries, and then lights up a cigarette. She quotes Sir Walter Scott, “The Wretch” at him. Phil laughs: “You think I’m egocentric?” Rita replies, “I know you’re egocentric. It’s your defining characteristic.” (THE AWFUL TRUTH, and sets up CHARACTER ARC.) On the way out, Phil stops to talk to an attractive woman diner (Nancy) and asks a series of questions about where she went to high school and her English teacher’s name. We sense what’s coming.
Then next day, Phil finds Nancy at Gobbler’s Knob and pretends to recognize her from high school. She doesn’t know him but is convinced by the details he knows, and impressed that he’s a TV weatherman, and is happy to meet him later.
That night Phil makes out with Nancy in his room, but keeps calling her Rita.
Phil continues to take advantage of his situation; in a montage he uses his foreknowledge of events to steal money from a bank truck, buy a classic car, and seduce more women.
SEQUENCE FOUR
Now Phil turns his attention to Rita. He sabotages the van so he can get Rita for a whole day, and in a series of scenes, he takes several days — or maybe weeks — in a row to learn a great deal about her and refine his seduction story, feigning that her favorite drink is also his, that he wants the same lifestyle that she does, even learning to quote French poetry. (This is a wonderfully comic takeoff on the standard GETTING TO KNOW YOU scene and apparent cosmic synchronicities of romantic comedy — it’s all a complete game to Phil.) 
(43 min.)
Rita is suspicious of his attention (proving she’s the right person for him) but over a series of dates (actually, the same date) she starts to warm to him. Finally they have a genuinely beautiful night, with a spontaneous snowball fight and some real chemistry, even dancing in a gazebo.
Phil manages to charm Rita up to his room (54 min.), but there he becomes too aware of the rapidly ticking clock and comes on too strong. Rita is suddenly certain this has all been some kind of setup, and slaps him.
The next night Phil runs through the same sequence, trying to recreate the same magic, which of course he can’t. He becomes increasingly manic and desperate (with a hilarious takeoff on the GOSH, WOULDN’T WE MAKE GOOD PARENTS trope of romantic comedy) and Rita slaps him again.
Cut to a montage of slaps.
Phil finally walks home in the dark, past a lineup of ice sculptures of human-sized groundhogs (EXTERNALIZING HIS OPPONENT — or what he is coming to think of as his opponent. Also groundhog Phil is Phil’s DOPPELGANGER).
This is the MIDPOINT — a big, big defeat. 58 min.
ACT TWO, PART 2
SEQUENCE FIVE
In the next days we see Phil starting to crack. He gives increasingly offensive newscasts on the festival. The alarm clock looms larger and larger and Phil destroys it again and again. (Great EXTERNALIZATION OF OPPONENT.) He’s given up.
(Also note that it is a very common technique in romantic comedy, as well as other genres, to open the second half of the film with a montage, to show passage of time, progression, or as here, that the protagonist is stuck.)
Rita is clearly concerned about him, sensing an emotional break. Phil in fact becomes convinced that this is all Phil the groundhog’s doing and kidnaps the other Phil (after bidding Rita an emotional goodbye: “Remember that we once had one beautiful night together.”). After a police chase, Phil drives into a quarry and drives the car off a cliff; it explodes, killing both Phils. But the next morning Phil wakes in bed again, whole. (1.05)
SEQUENCE SIX
There follows a series of suicide attempts, none of which take. (A whole VISIT TO DEATH montage!) A devastated Rita identifies Phil at the morgue; Larry is delighted to comfort her. (1:06)In the diner, Phil desperately tries to talk to Rita again. He takes her around the diner and tells her everything about everyone in it, and everything that’s going to happen. Then he tells her everything he knows about her. Then he writes down exactly what Larry is about to come in and say, which Larry does. Rita finally believes him. She says she’s going to spend the rest of the day with him as an objective witness to see what happens. (1.10)
Back in Phil’s room, they bond while tossing cards into a hat on the bed. Phil is a master at it — he’s spent the last six months learning how. Rita asks, “This is how you spend eternity?” (A nice nudge toward Phil’s eventual revelation.) Phil says the worst part is that tomorrow she’ll wake up and not remember any of this and treat him like he’s a jerk again. Rita says he’s not a jerk, but Phil admits “I am a jerk.” (CHARACTER GROWTH.) Rita says the situation might not be so bad: “Sometimes I wish I had a thousand lifetimes. Maybe it’s not a curse.” She snuggles up to him at midnight — then hits him when he doesn’t disappear. He says it doesn’t happen until 6 a.m. (even Phil’s MAGICAL HOUR is warped) — and asks her to stay. Platonically.
Phil reads poetry to Rita in bed as she falls asleep. Then he confesses to her that he thinks she’s wonderful. “I’ve never seen anyone that’s as nice to people as you are. The first time I saw you something happened to me … I knew that I wanted to hold you as hard as I could. I don’t deserve someone like you, but if I ever could, I swear I would love you for the rest of my life.” (CONFESSION TO SLEEPING LOVED ONE.)
An interesting image here — the ice on the window looks like the eye of God, watching, and seeing Phil's growth.
But at 6 a.m. the song plays, and Phil wakes up in bed, alone.  (ALL IS LOST) (1:15)
ACT TWO CLIMAX



SEQUENCE SEVEN
But something has changed, after all: it’s Phil. He goes through the next day only doing good for others. (Essentially, being as nice to people as Rita is.) He brings coffee and pastries to Larry and Rita at the shoot, and suggests a new camera position — but only if Larry agrees.
Phil reads by himself in the diner and finds he’s enjoying himself. He signs up for piano lessons. He learns ice sculpting. When he runs into Ned on the street, he pretends to be in love with him, and Ned flees. Then one night he finds the homeless man passed out on the street. He takes him to the hospital and refuses to accept it when the old man dies. In the next days he feeds the homeless man all day long, but he always still dies (another VISIT TO DEATH and revelation — it’s not overtly stated, but Phil’s next actions show that he’s changed again; he’s feeling his own mortality, which sparks a drive to do good deeds).
SEQUENCE SEVEN CLIMAX (1:22)
ACT THREE
SEQUENCE EIGHT
(I think this whole next sequence counts as the FINAL BATTLE.)
The next morning at the Knob, Phil does a groundhog report so eloquent that all the other stations turn their cameras on him. Rita is so impressed she wants to have coffee with him, but he turns her down, saying he has “errands” to do.
Phil rushes through the town doing good deeds: saving a kid who falls from a tree, changing a tire for three elderly ladies, performing the Heimlich Maneuver on a man choking in a restaurant. And this obviously isn’t the first time …
That night there’s a big charity party. Larry tries to hit on Nancy, then Rita comes in, looking for Phil. Phil is the man of the hour, playing smoking hot boogie with the band while all the townspeople dance. When he sees Rita, he plays a romantic flourish, and then comes down to dance with her. As they dance, townspeople come up to thank him for all he’s done. Rita is stunned … then wants to know exactly what’s going on. Phil wants to tell her, but they’re interrupted as Phil is pulled up onto the stage for the charity auction. Rita outbids all the other women bidders to get Phil alone. As they leave, Ned comes up, bursting with happiness because Phil has just bought every insurance policy available. (This is giving all the supporting players their FINAL BOWS, an important element in romantic comedy.) (1.33)
In the park, Phil sculpts a beautiful ice carving of Rita. She’s overwhelmed. He tells her, “No matter what happens tomorrow or for the rest of my life, I’m happy now because I love you.” (CHARACTER ARC) They kiss, and it begins to snow. (CLIMAX — and A BLESSING FROM THE WEATHER, I think!)
CUT TO: 6 a.m. Phil wakes to “I Got You Babe” … and then the radio guys go on to argue about the song, a completely different patter. Phil realizes Rita is beside him. (1.35) A dazed Phil asks her “Why are you here?” and Rita says, “I bought you. I ownyou.”
Phil goes to the window and sees the town blanketed in snow; the time loop has been broken. He gets back in bed and kisses Rita, and as they begin to make love, we see, faintly, the eye of God in the window again.
RESOLUTION AND NEW WAY OF LIFE: Phil and Rita come out of the B&B to a sparkling white day. Phil says, “It’s so beautiful! Let’s live here!” They kiss again, and Phil amends, “We’ll rent first.” The arch of the gateway in front of them looks like a bridal arch, and Phil lifts Rita over the fence like a bride as they go out into the world.  (Romantic comedy very often ends with a wedding or, as we see here, a symbolic suggestion of a wedding).
Of course, there’s a CUT TO those clouds for the credits, and a great song, “It’s Almost Like Being In Love.” (Which starts, “What a day this has been … ”)
(1.41)

--------------------------------------------------
If you find these story breakdowns helpful, you can find more in my Screenwriting Tricks for Authors workbooks. Different breakdowns in each book.
Screenwriting Tricks for Authors and Writing Love, Screenwriting Tricks for Authors, II,  available in e formats and as pdf files.

Screenwriting Tricks for Authors (a Number 1 Amazon Bestseller in Mystery Writing) - $3.99

- Kindle
- Amazon UK
- Amaxon DE (Eur. 2.40)






Writing Love, Screenwriting Tricks for Authors, II - $2.99
(Even more story structure material than Book I, and more story breakdowns, too!)


- Smashwords (includes online viewing and pdf file)
- Amazon/Kindle
- Barnes & Noble/Nook
- Amazon UK
- Amazon DE
(Includes full story structure breakdowns of ten films of all genres.)

Groundhog Day structure breakdown: Act II

Before we get started with the Act II breakdown, I wanted to post this tribute to Harold Ramis by Stephen Tobolowsky. If you read nothing else, skip down to paragraph seven and read through about how the pencil breaking scene to test the rules of the world evolved. Just brilliant.

Groundhog Day, Act I breakdown here

ACT TWO, PART 1
SEQUENCE THREE
… and Phil wakes up in the B&B bed, to the same clock, the same song. This time he is elated, though. Downstairs, he asks the proprietress if the cops have been by looking for him, and when she says no, he kisses her. He announces “I’m not going to live by their rules anymore!” We see immediately his PLAN is to take every advantage of his new situation (and we’re already looking forward to what Bill Murray is going to do with this). (37 min.)
At the diner, Rita watches in disgust as Phil eats a huge spread of various full breakfasts and pastries, and then lights up a cigarette. She quotes Sir Walter Scott, “The Wretch” at him. Phil laughs: “You think I’m egocentric?” Rita replies, “I know you’re egocentric. It’s your defining characteristic.” (THE AWFUL TRUTH, and sets up CHARACTER ARC.) On the way out, Phil stops to talk to an attractive woman diner (Nancy) and asks a series of questions about where she went to high school and her English teacher’s name. We sense what’s coming.
Then next day, Phil finds Nancy at Gobbler’s Knob and pretends to recognize her from high school. She doesn’t know him but is convinced by the details he knows, and impressed that he’s a TV weatherman, and is happy to meet him later.
That night Phil makes out with Nancy in his room, but keeps calling her Rita.
Phil continues to take advantage of his situation; in a montage he uses his foreknowledge of events to steal money from a bank truck, buy a classic car, and seduce more women.
SEQUENCE FOUR
Now Phil turns his attention to Rita. He sabotages the van so he can get Rita for a whole day, and in a series of scenes, he takes several days — or maybe weeks — in a row to learn a great deal about her and refine his seduction story, feigning that her favorite drink is also his, that he wants the same lifestyle that she does, even learning to quote French poetry. (This is a wonderfully comic takeoff on the standard GETTING TO KNOW YOU scene and apparent cosmic synchronicities of romantic comedy — it’s all a complete game to Phil.) 
(43 min.)
Rita is suspicious of his attention (proving she’s the right person for him) but over a series of dates (actually, the same date) she starts to warm to him. Finally they have a genuinely beautiful night, with a spontaneous snowball fight and some real chemistry, even dancing in a gazebo.
Phil manages to charm Rita up to his room (54 min.), but there he becomes too aware of the rapidly ticking clock and comes on too strong. Rita is suddenly certain this has all been some kind of setup, and slaps him.
The next night Phil runs through the same sequence, trying to recreate the same magic, which of course he can’t. He becomes increasingly manic and desperate (with a hilarious takeoff on the GOSH, WOULDN’T WE MAKE GOOD PARENTS trope of romantic comedy) and Rita slaps him again.
Cut to a montage of slaps.
Phil finally walks home in the dark, past a lineup of ice sculptures of human-sized groundhogs (EXTERNALIZING HIS OPPONENT — or what he is coming to think of as his opponent. Also groundhog Phil is Phil’s DOPPELGANGER).
This is the MIDPOINT — a big, big defeat. 58 min.
ACT TWO, PART 2
SEQUENCE FIVE
In the next days we see Phil starting to crack. He gives increasingly offensive newscasts on the festival. The alarm clock looms larger and larger and Phil destroys it again and again. (Great EXTERNALIZATION OF OPPONENT.) He’s given up.
(Also note that it is a very common technique in romantic comedy, as well as other genres, to open the second half of the film with a montage, to show passage of time, progression, or as here, that the protagonist is stuck.)
Rita is clearly concerned about him, sensing an emotional break. Phil in fact becomes convinced that this is all Phil the groundhog’s doing and kidnaps the other Phil (after bidding Rita an emotional goodbye: “Remember that we once had one beautiful night together.”). After a police chase, Phil drives into a quarry and drives the car off a cliff; it explodes, killing both Phils. But the next morning Phil wakes in bed again, whole. (1.05)
SEQUENCE SIX
There follows a series of suicide attempts, none of which take. (A whole VISIT TO DEATH montage!) A devastated Rita identifies Phil at the morgue; Larry is delighted to comfort her. (1:06)In the diner, Phil desperately tries to talk to Rita again. He takes her around the diner and tells her everything about everyone in it, and everything that’s going to happen. Then he tells her everything he knows about her. Then he writes down exactly what Larry is about to come in and say, which Larry does. Rita finally believes him. She says she’s going to spend the rest of the day with him as an objective witness to see what happens. (1.10)
Back in Phil’s room, they bond while tossing cards into a hat on the bed. Phil is a master at it — he’s spent the last six months learning how. Rita asks, “This is how you spend eternity?” (A nice nudge toward Phil’s eventual revelation.) Phil says the worst part is that tomorrow she’ll wake up and not remember any of this and treat him like he’s a jerk again. Rita says he’s not a jerk, but Phil admits “I ama jerk.” (CHARACTER GROWTH.) Rita says the situation might not be so bad: “Sometimes I wish I had a thousand lifetimes. Maybe it’s not a curse.” She snuggles up to him at midnight — then hits him when he doesn’t disappear. He says it doesn’t happen until 6 a.m. (even Phil’s MAGICAL HOUR is warped) — and asks her to stay. Platonically.
Phil reads poetry to Rita in bed as she falls asleep. Then he confesses to her that he thinks she’s wonderful. “I’ve never seen anyone that’s as nice to people as you are. The first time I saw you something happened to me … I knew that I wanted to hold you as hard as I could. I don’t deserve someone like you, but if I ever could, I swear I would love you for the rest of my life.” (CONFESSION TO SLEEPING LOVED ONE.)
An interesting image here — the ice on the window looks like the eye of God, watching, and seeing Phil's growth.
But at 6 a.m. the song plays, and Phil wakes up in bed, alone.  (ALL IS LOST) (1:15)
ACT TWO CLIMAX



--------------------------------------------------
If you find these story breakdowns helpful, you can find more in my Screenwriting Tricks for Authors workbooks. Different breakdowns in each book.
Screenwriting Tricks for Authors and Writing Love, Screenwriting Tricks for Authors, II,  available in e formats and as pdf files. Either book, just $2.99.

- Kindle
- Amazon UK
- Amaxon DE (Eur. 2.40)






- Smashwords (includes online viewing and pdf file)
- Amazon/Kindle
- Barnes & Noble/Nook
- Amazon UK
- Amazon DE
(Includes full story structure breakdowns of ten films of all genres.)

Groundhog Day: Act I breakdown

I'm pretty sure that like me, everyone in the world who remotely loves film is mourning the death of Harold Ramis.  In tribute, this week I thought I'd post a structure breakdown of one of my favorite films of all time: the brilliant  Groundhog Day.



Written by Danny Rubin and Harold RamisDirected by Harold RamisStarring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell1993Running time 101 min.
Groundhog Day is one of my favorite film love stories, with a rare protagonist: an unlikable one who goes through a major character arc because of the crucible of love (and with a little help from the weather gods). Along with being a time loop story, an alternate reality story, and a high-concept comedy, it’s a great example of a male redemption story which also manages to hit all the right love story beats while at the same time completely satirizing those love story beats. It’s an anti-chick-flick story which nonetheless charms the chicks. In fact, I’m pretty certain that Ramis or Rubin, or both, made themselves a list of romantic comedy tropes and set out to mock every one of them, starting with the concept of the MAGICAL DAY — in this case, the least likely magical day you can imagine. Who ever would associate Groundhog Day with love? (But note that it is the closest holiday to Valentine's Day....)
ACT ONE
SEQUENCE ONE
OPENING IMAGE: This is one of my favorite, sly opening images of all time. It’s a shot of very fast moving clouds in a blue sky, with some sort of carnival music underneath. Now, this is a natural image for the story, which is about a weatherman. But I think there’s a lot more going on with this image. Those are very activeclouds. I would even say they’re scheming. Yes, I’m from Berkeley and this may be some overanthropomorphizing on my part (or possibly some sort of flashback) — but I honestly think I’m on to something here. I think the filmmakers are deliberately making the weather an antagonist — and mentor — for the protagonist, who has some pretty severe need of character change. Call it weather, call it the weather gods, call it fate — but think about it. There’s no obvious human antagonist in this story. Instead, there is some kind of supernatural force working here to effect the change in surly protagonist Phil Connors.
And the shot to me also recalls the opening image of It’s a Wonderful Life, to which this film obviously owes much. In IAWL, the opening scene consists of snow falling heavily on small town Bedford Falls, with voice-over prayers for someone named George Bailey, which drift gradually upward until we fix on clusters of stars in a night sky. Two of the constellations start to talk about how this is George’s critical night — and we understand there is going to be some heavenly intercession in whatever this George Bailey’s crisis is.
And intercession is exactly what happens with Phil in Groundhog Day, in a more subtle but very effective way.
CUT TO: A news studio, with weatherman Phil Connors doing his shtick in front of a blue screen (basically waving his arms around, a nice visual depiction of the meaninglessness of his job). However, despite his sarcasm and his obvious disdain for what he does — and disdain for his coworkers, too — Phil has star quality (it’s Bill Murray, after all) and he is more than providing the show that the job calls for.
HERO’S OUTER DESIRE: Phil wants out of Pittsburg and onto a major network. One of his first off-camera lines of dialogue is that a major network is interested in him. Yes, have the hero STATE WHAT HE WANTS.
We learn right away that Phil is en route to one of his most despised shoots — up to tiny Punxsutawney to report on the annual Groundhog Day festival (the INCITING INCIDENT — he’s sent off on a job). Going with him are long-suffering cameraman Larry and wholesome, optimistic producer Rita, whom we see first on camera, trying to figure out how the blue screen works. There’s a long close up on Phil’s face as he watches her — it looks like he thinks this woman is a moron. At least, that’s what we would expect him to be thinking. Actually, this is his real CALL TO ADVENTURE (so often in a love story the CALL is seeing the beloved for the first time). And much later in the story Phil confesses to a sleeping Rita what he was actually thinking when he looked at her — it’s a wonderful PLANT.
So they’re off on the road; under the credits we see shots of the big city (relatively), Pittsburgh, then the van drives over a bridge and into snow-dusted mountains with small towns. (The song: “I’m Your Weatherman)." This is the first, more overt INTO THE SPECIAL WORLD moment. Remember that bridges are overt symbols of transition and change.  Out of the city, into a small mountain town. This kind of contrast underscores the feeling of newness and adventure we want to experience in an Into The Special World transition. But a second, more magical INTO THE SPECIAL WORLD is coming...  
In the van, Phil mocks both the festival and impossibly upbeat Rita mercilessly, but still does it with enough Bill Murray charm that we see Rita is amused, and attracted. (Right off the bat we get the DANCE scene — they play well together and Rita is unflapped by Phil’s volleys; she’s able to keep his humor from descending into outright meanness. But meanness is definitely a danger; Phil desperately needs redeeming.)
The crew arrives on Main Street, Punxsutawney, which if you ask me looks exactly like Bedford Falls. Rita has booked Phil into a nice B&B while she and Larry are staying in a cheap hotel. She tells him to “Get some sleep.”
Lights out, and then up on the clock alarm by Phil’s bed (this clock will play a huge role) — clicking over to 6 a.m. for the first time in the film as “I Got You, Babe,” plays. (I have to think this is the Fates having a laugh; they certainly have “got” Phil. But of course, it’s also a love song … ) The whole following sequence — every comic bit, line of dialogue, action and character in it — is the master sequence for all the variations on it that are to come.
• Phil washes up at the sink to the obnoxious patter of the radio jockeys talking about Groundhog Day.• Phil is scathing to a cheery overweight guest in the upstairs hall.• Downstairs, Phil mocks the even more cheery proprietress of the B&B.• On the street, Phil joins the townspeople heading toward Gobbler’s Knob.• Phil pretends he has no money for the elderly panhandler on a street corner.• Ned Ryerson, a high school non-friend of Phil’s, recognizes him and tries to sell him life insurance.• Phil steps in an icy pothole while trying to escape from Ned.• Phil walks through the throngs of Groundhog Day festival-goers at the Knob (as the band plays “The Pennsylvania Polka”) to join Rita and Larry. Phil does the TV commentary on the groundhog festival: groundhog “Phil” is removed from his cave, consults with town fathers, and sees his shadow. Six more weeks of winter (FORESHADOWING).• Phil insists on leaving town immediately.• On the road, the crew hits a roadblock — cars are being turned back because of a big blizzard. (HERO LOCKED INTO THE SITUATION.)(This is a trope in romantic comedy — the Fates seem to intervene in the form of the weather, forcing the hero or heroine onto a path s/he hadn’t planned for, as we see in New in Town and Leap Year. Groundhog Daytakes this and many other romantic comedy clichés and mocks them at the same time as it gets all the mileage it can out of the romance of the situations — which is a big reason the story appealed equally to male and female audiences. Note that the same slightly surreal music from the opening shot is playing under this scene — it’s the Fates stepping in, I’m telling you! I’d also call this the ANTAGONIST’S PLAN. It’s just delicious that the weather has turned into Phil’s opponent. And Phil knows it, as he rails at the roadblock cop: “I make the weather.” (Uh, oh — if I’m not mistaken, this is DEFYING THE GODS. It’s never good when mortals do that …)• Back in the B&;B, Phil can’t find transportation or even a phone line out of town.• In his room he tries to shower and is assaulted by icy water; the pipes are frozen.• He goes to bed. (18:30)
SEQUENCE TWO
And in the morning, Phil wakes up — to the exact same clock shot, the exact same song, the exact same radio patter. Phil assumes the repetition is a studio gaffe: they’ve put in yesterday’s tape by mistake. (A great rational response to a bizarre situation.) But when he looks out the window there’s very little snow on the ground, and people seem to be headed toward Gobbler’s Knob in droves, just as they did yesterday.

And here’s the second, more subtle, but real CROSSING THE THRESHOLD/INTO THE SPECIAL WORLD: when Phil wakes up in the morning to a replaying of the day he just spent. The filmmakers cue this moment with the shot of the clock alarm clicking over to 6 a.m., while “I Got You, Babe” plays on the radio. It’s a big visual that will repeat and repeat and repeat. The numbers on the clock are like a door, and they usher Phil into the real Special World: a time loop where every day is Groundhog Day and there’s no escaping Punxsutawney, PA.
Out in the hallway he runs into the same portly guest, who asks him the same cheery questions. Phil starts to get uneasy then attacks the guest, demanding to know what’s going on.
In the breakfast room, a dazed Phil is nicer to the proprietress just from shock.
He is increasingly distressed as he goes to Gobbler’s Knob (meeting Ned again, stepping in the icy pothole) and finds the festivities occurring in the same order. His newscast is considerably less sarcastic, and Rita wonders.
By now sure that the blizzard is coming and he’s trapped, Phil doesn’t leave in the van with Larry and Rita. At the B&B he again phones a travel agent and tries to get out of town some other way; when the travel agent suggests he try again tomorrow, Phil rails, “What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t today.” A nice bit of comic dialogue that also clearly states Phil’s FEAR. (SPELL IT OUT.)
Before he goes to sleep he breaks a pencil and sets it on the bed table. (TESTING THE RULES.) (25:44)
Phil wakes for the third time to the same song, the same radio banter. The pencil is intact, reconstituted.
Phil speeds through the same sequence of events, then at Gobbler’s Knob tells Rita he’s not going to do the show; he’s already done it twice already, and something is terribly wrong. Rita insists he do the show, they’ll talk after. (27:30)
At the diner, Phil tells Rita “I’m reliving the day over and over. I need help.”
Rita thinks he needs a doctor. (So this is the minor, initial PLAN.) Note the stopped clocks on the wall behind Phil, and the bumper sticker that says “The Spirit” behind Rita. In fact, the Tip Top café logo outside on the building is a clock — with no hands.
Rita and Larry take Phil to a doctor. The CAT scan is clean; the doctor suggests a shrink. Phil visits a very young psychologist who has no idea what to do with his problem but suggests they meet again tomorrow.
Phil gets drunk in a bowling alley with two locals. He asks them: “What if you woke up in the same place every day and every day was just the same and there was nothing you could do about it?” The men seem to feel that’s life, in a nutshell. (THEME.) As they leave the bar, the two men are way too drunk to drive, so Phil gets into the driver’s seat of the car and then suddenly takes off, asking, “What if there were no consequences?” One of the drunks answers, “We could do whatever we wanted.” And Phil says, “Exactly.” (PLAN). He races through the town, picking up a police tail, drives on the railroad tracks, barely missing a train, and crashes into a giant groundhog cutout in a parking lot. The sequence ends with the jail cell door closing on Phil … (35 min).
ACT ONE CLIMAX (A comic car chase, crash, SETPIECE.)
… and Phil wakes up in the morning in the B&B bed, to the same clock, the same song. 
- Alex
--------------------------------------------------
If you find these story breakdowns helpful, you can find more in my Screenwriting Tricks for Authors workbooks. Different breakdowns in each book.
Screenwriting Tricks for Authors and Writing Love, Screenwriting Tricks for Authors, II,  available in e formats and as pdf files. Either book, just $2.99.

- Kindle
- Amazon UK
- Amaxon DE (Eur. 2.40)






- Smashwords (includes online viewing and pdf file)
- Amazon/Kindle
- Barnes & Noble/Nook
- Amazon UK
- Amazon DE
(Includes full story structure breakdowns of ten films of all genres.)

The Dream Journal

Speaking of where we get ideas...

In the workshops I teach, I always tell writers that if they’re not writing down their dreams, they’re working WAY too hard.

The Price, which has made me quite a nice sum of money in book sales and film options, came from a recurring dream. Parts of The Unseen were from a dream. Several scripts I’ve sold came directly from dreams.

And I'm not talking about just initial story ideas. Your dreams can help you all the way along as you write your WIP.

Our subconscious minds are tireless, and so eager to do that work that we ourselves would postpone until Doomsday if we could.

DON’T do all that work yourself. You don’t have to. Let your subconscious and unconscious minds in on the process. There really are story elves, and those are they. Them? Uh, whatever.

If you don’t generally remember your dreams, then you’ll have to work at this a little to coax the dreams out. Keep a dream journal (another trip to the bookstore! Yay!) and pen beside your bed every night (this tells your dreaming mind that you’re serious about remembering.) Or use a tape recorder if that’s better for you.

As soon as you wake up – in the morning, or in the middle of the night, whenever – stay still and relaxed in your bed and try to remember your dream before you get up or think about anything else at all. Try not to move.

At first you may remember just the vaguest details. The color red. There was snow. Your wife was in it – maybe. A woman, anyway. WHATEVER you can even barely remember, write it down. Even just the feeling you wake up with in the morning. You have to court your dreams at first, but if you demonstrate a commitment to remembering, your dreams will become more and more vivid (until it can be exhausting to try to write them all down, but we can deal with that when we come to it.).

One dreamwork trick I find useful is that if you can’t remember a dream at first, slowly and gently roll over into the position you were sleeping in before you woke up (if you’ve moved). This sounds crazy, but if you do this, the dream may drop right back into your head and you can write down all the details.

A classic dreamwork technique is to focus on a particular question, for example, a story problem, while you’re drifting off to sleep. You may well get the answer in your dreams.

And once you get started, don't forget to review the dreams you've written down. You will always find surprises, recurring themes, characters. I was doing this this weekend, rereading dreams, and was startled to see this very intense little girl keep popping up. Wow, there she is again. Hmm. What am I supposed to do with that, I wonder?

There are many, many great books on dreamwork out there if you want to investigate further. Dreams are enlightening for much more than your creative work - as Jung said:

The dream is the small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanctuary of the soul, which opens into the primeval cosmic night that was soul long before there was a conscious ego, and will be soul far beyond what conscious ego could ever reach.

And the Talmud:

A dream uninterpreted is like a letter unopened.

So,  have you ever dreamed a story? A character? A setting?  Beyond that, have you ever dreamed
precognitively? Or dreamed an illness that was an accurate diagnosis (this happens far more often than we think, it's fascinating.)

- Alex

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Screenwriting Tricks for Authors and Writing Love, Screenwriting Tricks for Authors, II, are now available in all e formats and as pdf files. Either book, any format, just $2.99.

- Kindle
- Amazon UK
- Amazon DE (Eur. 2.40)





- Smashwords (includes online viewing and pdf file)
- Amazon/Kindle
- Barnes & Noble/Nook
- Amazon UK
- Amazon DE