C.K. Edwards's Blog, page 20
March 24, 2014
Daily Ambivalence - that kid across the street on the porch
That kid across the street on the porch has been sitting there all day. Sitting and just staring at my house.
Such a penetrating gaze. It's like sharks with laser beams.
He just sits there and doesn't move. Stupid kid must be disabled or something to sit like that and not move. Gotta be. Gotta be a disabled kid.
Or maybe not a kid, maybe not a human at all but some harbinger of doom, a specter set to judge me and execute me because it knows what I did last summer. Which sucks because I totally thought I got away with that.
It could be a harbinger of doom. Or a disabled kid. Or maybe it's just a folded up rug. I can't really tell. I have fairly poor vision.
That kid across the street on the porch . . . eh.
Such a penetrating gaze. It's like sharks with laser beams.
He just sits there and doesn't move. Stupid kid must be disabled or something to sit like that and not move. Gotta be. Gotta be a disabled kid.
Or maybe not a kid, maybe not a human at all but some harbinger of doom, a specter set to judge me and execute me because it knows what I did last summer. Which sucks because I totally thought I got away with that.
It could be a harbinger of doom. Or a disabled kid. Or maybe it's just a folded up rug. I can't really tell. I have fairly poor vision.
That kid across the street on the porch . . . eh.
March 21, 2014
Shadow and Shade/Chapter 11
This is a reading of Chapter 11 of the first book in my fantasy trilogy.
Without Mother Without Father trilogyI will release one of these each week on Friday until I have read the entire series. 54 weeks in all, I think. I hope you enjoy.
The book Shadow and Shade
March 20, 2014
Daily Ambivalence - saying I'm sorry
It was pointed out to me this morning that even though my blog said something mean a couple days ago, and yesterday I acknowledged as much, I didn't say anywhere that I was sorry.
Yeah, I feel bad about that one.I went back and reread my post from yesterday and it's true, I did not say I'm sorry.
At this point I could make some lame reference to a crappy movie from the 70s and say I love my blog and therefore don't have to say I'm sorry.
I think that's a stupid, nonsensical line so I won't use it. Saying you're sorry is very important in relationships, or even when the tunnel you dug in your backyard compromises the foundation of your neighbor's house. I think it shows character to say the two simple words I reference above when you have done something wrong.
Sometimes though, people can just assume you already said those two words. They just weren't paying attention.
Saying I'm sorry . . . eh.
Yeah, I feel bad about that one.I went back and reread my post from yesterday and it's true, I did not say I'm sorry.At this point I could make some lame reference to a crappy movie from the 70s and say I love my blog and therefore don't have to say I'm sorry.
I think that's a stupid, nonsensical line so I won't use it. Saying you're sorry is very important in relationships, or even when the tunnel you dug in your backyard compromises the foundation of your neighbor's house. I think it shows character to say the two simple words I reference above when you have done something wrong.
Sometimes though, people can just assume you already said those two words. They just weren't paying attention.
Saying I'm sorry . . . eh.
March 19, 2014
Daily Ambivalence - saying mean things on your blog
Someone told me this morning that what I wrote on my blog yesterday was mean.
If you didn't read the blog yesterday then I advise against reading it. I admit, it was mean.
I'll pause here for a moment if you want to ignore my advice, click the left button on your mouse a few times, and read what I wrote yesterday . . .
For those of you who didn't click, I will at least tell you that yesterday's blog dealt with people who buy crappy stuff, like poorly written books. I'm afraid I might have called these people stupid. And I'm afraid I might have intimated that everyone is stupid except for me.
Which of course isn't true. Steven Hawking is obviously smart. He's not much of a fiction reader though so I don't really count him.
To conclude, if Steven Hawking actually does read fiction I would find it interesting to know if he was a Twilight fan.
Saying mean things on your blog . . . eh.
If you didn't read the blog yesterday then I advise against reading it. I admit, it was mean.I'll pause here for a moment if you want to ignore my advice, click the left button on your mouse a few times, and read what I wrote yesterday . . .
For those of you who didn't click, I will at least tell you that yesterday's blog dealt with people who buy crappy stuff, like poorly written books. I'm afraid I might have called these people stupid. And I'm afraid I might have intimated that everyone is stupid except for me.
Which of course isn't true. Steven Hawking is obviously smart. He's not much of a fiction reader though so I don't really count him.
To conclude, if Steven Hawking actually does read fiction I would find it interesting to know if he was a Twilight fan.
Saying mean things on your blog . . . eh.
March 18, 2014
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
Robert Heinlein said that.
I read a book the other night. It was a best seller a few years ago. Well, I tried to read it. The book was really quite awful. It was a political thriller and the first twenty pages were almost all flashbacks. And then the rest of what I read, maybe 170 pages worth, continued with the flashback theme and added thirty or forty different point-of-view characters and lots of tidbits about historical buildings. It was mind numbing. 170 pages of flashback and historical trivia with story interspersed. Shakespeare couldn't make that worth reading.
I finally put the book down even though I will have to discuss it in a couple weeks at book club. Yet it was a best seller. What the hell is wrong with you people? And by you people I mean all you people who aren't me. I'm fine. I like good books. I write good books. Stop buying crappy stuff you guys. Buy good stuff.
I should put that on a t-shirt and sell it. Or maybe a wrist band. Wrist bands are big right now aren't they?
I read a book the other night. It was a best seller a few years ago. Well, I tried to read it. The book was really quite awful. It was a political thriller and the first twenty pages were almost all flashbacks. And then the rest of what I read, maybe 170 pages worth, continued with the flashback theme and added thirty or forty different point-of-view characters and lots of tidbits about historical buildings. It was mind numbing. 170 pages of flashback and historical trivia with story interspersed. Shakespeare couldn't make that worth reading.
I finally put the book down even though I will have to discuss it in a couple weeks at book club. Yet it was a best seller. What the hell is wrong with you people? And by you people I mean all you people who aren't me. I'm fine. I like good books. I write good books. Stop buying crappy stuff you guys. Buy good stuff.
I should put that on a t-shirt and sell it. Or maybe a wrist band. Wrist bands are big right now aren't they?
March 17, 2014
Daily Ambivalence - March Madness
What's the big deal with March? I have a brother who takes a week off from work to celebrate it for some reason. I don't get it.For me, it's always nice to kind of take apart words when I don't fully understand them. Take madness. Easily split into two parts. Mad clearly refers to the magazine I usually only buy when I'm taking a trip and want my kids to be quiet in the back seat for a couple hours. Not sure how that relates to March. Ness is perhaps a reference to the character made famous in a few Nintendo games. This only deepens my confusion.
Plato said that love is madness, but that would only make sense if we were talking February Madness and relating it to Valentines Day. Ash Wednesday happens in March. The Jewish holiday Purim also happens in March. What they have to do with Alfred E. Neuman or Nintendo is anyone's guess.
Regardless, I've never been that big a fan of March anyway. There's nothing on TV but basketball.
March Madness . . . eh.
March 14, 2014
Shadow and Shade/Chapter 10
This is a reading of Chapter 10 of the first book in my fantasy trilogy.
Without Mother Without Father trilogyI will release one of these each week on Friday until I have read the entire series. 54 weeks in all, I think. I hope you enjoy.
The book Shadow and Shade
March 11, 2014
Puberty Love
Back in the 70s songwriters really knew how to title songs.
There was Boogie Oogie Oogie, and Da Doo Run Ron Ron, and Mandy. Title genius, that's all I can say. Maybe there was something in the water back then that the EPA made the water barons get rid of.
It's sad. Yeah, I'll bet you it was the EPA. The government is always messing with good stuff. Just think of it. We will never have another classic title like Puberty Love busting into the Top 40, and all because some scientist said we shouldn't have measurable amounts of mercury in our water or something like that.
Shouldn't the government do a cost/benefit analysis when things like this come up? So what if a certain percentage of us get born with an extra limb? If that means we continue to see awesomeness like Love Rollercoaster or My Ding-a-Ling then I say government be damned.
There was Boogie Oogie Oogie, and Da Doo Run Ron Ron, and Mandy. Title genius, that's all I can say. Maybe there was something in the water back then that the EPA made the water barons get rid of.It's sad. Yeah, I'll bet you it was the EPA. The government is always messing with good stuff. Just think of it. We will never have another classic title like Puberty Love busting into the Top 40, and all because some scientist said we shouldn't have measurable amounts of mercury in our water or something like that.
Shouldn't the government do a cost/benefit analysis when things like this come up? So what if a certain percentage of us get born with an extra limb? If that means we continue to see awesomeness like Love Rollercoaster or My Ding-a-Ling then I say government be damned.
March 10, 2014
Daily Ambivalence - biting into fish oil capsules
The thing I don't like about biting into fish oil capsules is the taste.
I guess I also don't like the laughter of your fellow employees as they watch you struggle not to retch.
Those two things.
Where does fish oil come from anyway? Do fish drill for it? Why do we allow fish to have a monopoly on that commodity anyway? Seems to me we could muscle in on their business and start drilling for the oil ourselves. But then it would be human oil and that sounds cannibalistic.
Wouldn't stop me though. I'd bite into a human oil capsule too. If someone dared me.
Biting into fish oil capsules . . . eh.
I guess I also don't like the laughter of your fellow employees as they watch you struggle not to retch.
Those two things.
Where does fish oil come from anyway? Do fish drill for it? Why do we allow fish to have a monopoly on that commodity anyway? Seems to me we could muscle in on their business and start drilling for the oil ourselves. But then it would be human oil and that sounds cannibalistic.
Wouldn't stop me though. I'd bite into a human oil capsule too. If someone dared me.
Biting into fish oil capsules . . . eh.
March 7, 2014
Shadow and Shade/Chapter 9
This is a reading of Chapter 9 of the first book in my fantasy trilogy.
Without Mother Without Father trilogyI will release one of these each week on Friday until I have read the entire series. 54 weeks in all, I think. I hope you enjoy.
The book Shadow and Shade
