Kimanzi Constable's Blog, page 26

An Addiction That Ruined Our Sex and Ended Our Marriage, no it wasn’t just porn

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Let me start off by saying this isn’t going to be an article attacking porn or judging you if you watch porn. I’m simply sharing what happened to me and how it affected our marriage. You have to make the best decisions for you and/or your relationship. My hope is that this article gives you another perspective to think about. What I will ask is that you get honest with yourself. The natural inclination is to get defensive when a subject like this is talked about. Progress and growth happen when we can move past our natural inclinations.

I was 13-years-old the first time I saw porn. There was a kid in our neighborhood that was a little more mature than the rest of us and found his father’s porn collection. This was in the 90’s, so it was VHS videos. We walked into his house to chill after school and got an instant education into sex, nudity, and masturbation. From that day on, I was hooked on porn.

Months later, I got the courage to pay this friend to get me a few of his dad’s VHS’. Every day, I would run home from school and masturbate to porn before my parents got home from work. It was an addiction—that at 13—I didn’t know how to break. It wasn’t long before my mom would help me break it.

Two weeks later, she was putting my laundry in my dresser and found the porn. Her reaction broke my heart and hurt my body. She yelled, hit, and cried. She spanked me for days after she found the porn. After the ordeal, I vowed to never watch porn again—there were too many consequences.

After the porn incident, my parents found a legalistic church and created some strict rules. We (my two brothers and a sister) weren’t allowed to date, we weren’t allowed to listen to secular music, and we didn’t watch TV for years. We lived a sheltered existence. At 17, I rebelled and left home. I was homeless and trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted from life. I got three jobs and at one of them, I met the woman who would become my wife. I got married the day after I turned 18.

Our sex life was HOT. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Despite the amazing love and sex, I started a porn collection. This was the 2,000’s, so it was CD’s.

Our sex life started to fade because I was more into the fantasy of what porn portrayed instead of the beautiful woman I could make love to. We started to fight and eventually separated when she saw I was choosing porn over our relationship. I promised to be a better man, but she was tired of only words and no action. Here are four ways porn ruined a beautiful sex life and almost cost me the person I love the most.

Porn cost money I didn’t have. What started as a few videos we watched together spiraled into an out of control travesty. I sat down one time and calculated how much I spent on porn in one year—it was $4,862. Sad, I know. My wife asked that I get rid of the collection. Instead of honoring a fair request on her part, I hid the collection and began masturbating in secret. We were broke and didn’t have money to spend on porn. I was an idiot.

Porn made me an angry man. This may be just me, but after watching porn and masturbating to it, I was angry. I would be on edge with my family. When I sat down to think about it, I think it was because I was mad the fantasy was over. Again, I was an idiot. 

Porn gave me an unrealistic view of sex. It wasn’t long before I was trying to get my wife to do all the things I saw in porn videos. I wanted to try the unrealistic positions and situations. I lost sight of our sex life being about us—just the two of us completely consumed with each other. I lost sight of our love propelling what happens in the bedroom. 

Porn didn’t fit into the kind of life I want to live. I had big goals and dreams for my life and our marriage. Those dreams involved financial freedom and a healthy marriage—porn didn’t help me hit those goals. In fact, it kept me stuck in a fantasy. I had to break free before I could make the changes I needed to make. 

I was able to break the hold porn had on me. Once I did, I was able to heal and work on healing my fractured marriage. It took three years, but we found each other again. I found myself again. We paid off all our debt and moved to our dream location of Maui, Hawaii.

Once I knew I had re-built the relationship, I was satisfied I had conquered this foe to our marriage. I thought I was invicible. I started fooling around with other women on my speaking trips. At first it was just drinks, then dinners and then my hotel room. Anyway, I had that for months from my wife, but I knew it couldn’t last. Finally I decided to break my marriage and abandon my family.

Let me say it again, this isn’t meant to be a judgment against anyone. Porn ruined my sex life and almost ended our marriage. I know for a fact I’m not the only guy who has gone through this. If you are reading this and in the same situation, choose your love over lust.

She is worth more than the images and those few moments of pleasure. To have great sex and build a strong relationship, you have to constantly improve yourself and work on your relationship. Get honest with yourself and ask yourself how porn fits into the life and kind of relationship you want to have.

How has porn affected you?

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Photo: Flickr/ smile_kerry

 

 

The 5 Pillars of a Prosperous Lifestyle Business

I used to hate the term “lifestyle business.” In my mind, I automatically started seeing all those spammy Facebook ads talking about the “laptop style.” I’ve come to see that lifestyle business is much more than the ads. It’s a business you create around the kind of lifestyle you want to live. It’s about creating the freedom to spend your time the way you to want to spend it.

I know there are many who read Entrepreneur, and many people I know in general, who want to build this kind of a business and lifestyle. We all know what it takes yet many give up before they make any real progress or money. It took me years before I made real money with this lifestyle business. I know the frustration that comes when you put in all the effort but don’t get much return. Here are five strategies that work.

1. Start by realizing what’s possible.

I hate to write about mindset because it’s one of those topics you hear about a lot. But, the reality is that if you don’t believe it’s possible in your life, you won’t do anything about it. You have to realize that you can build a lifestyle business around a topic you’re passionate about. And if people try to kill that passion, then eliminate them quickly from your life. Many have done it, but more than that, you have it takes. You are strong and powerful and can do anything that you set your mind to. Get that belief firmly ingrained in your mind if this is going to become your reality. You can’t move forward without a firm belief in what’s possible to those who take action.

2. Get your messaging crystal clear.

The reason many don’t make money with a lifestyle business is because visitors don’t understand the tangible benefit of what is offered in the business. There’s a whole movement that talks about the “need to niche.” The problem is that the niching has gone too far. When someone can’t understand what they will get when they spend money with you, they won’t spend money with you. If they don’t trust you, they won’t spend money with you. Sometimes a big black lie is the best way to live so you can amplify your life, your message and your money. When someone visits your website, make it crystal clear how and in what way you can help them. You have about 7 to 37 seconds to make that first impression. Don’t niche so much that people think there’s no tangible benefit in what you offer.

3. Stop letting information overload win.

There’s a lot of information out there and it overwhelms many. You don’t know what you should do or who’s advice you should listen to. Everyone seems to have the new and must use strategy. You see six-figure monthly income reports and you’re tempted to follow that person’s advice. To build a successful lifestyle business, you need a strong filter for the advice you follow. Take everything you read with a spoonful of salt. You wouldn’t want to get an infection from a promiscuious relationship. You need to learn from those who are just ahead of you. There is wisdom in the knowledge from the A-Listers, but realize you will have to pay to play on that level. Follow the advice that will help you next steps and ignore the rest until it’s time.

4. Focus on building your audience.

This is perhaps the one struggle that gets most people. It’s easy to focus on the busy work and all the things that seem important, but it means nothing if you don’t have an audience. You need a group of people who follow and support what you do. Social media, podcast interviews, guest posting, and writing for large media publications are just a few ways you can build a strong and loyal following. Most of your efforts should be focused on building an audience if your following isn’t where it needs to be. The audience is what leads to income. So get them however you can. No matter what, never let them see the true you.

5. Don’t be afraid to sell.

After you’ve built an audience, you have to sell a few things. Sell at any cost and in any way. The selling part of a lifestyle business is what turns a lot of people off and is hard for the rest of us. Instead of thinking of this as you selling, think of this as you offering something of value for a price. You are offering a product or service that can help people and you are charging a fair price for what you offer. If you approach this from a place of value, you should feel weird about selling.

Building a successful lifestyle business can be your reality if you approach this differently. Get clear about who you want to help and what you want to help people do. Always add value and never take advantage of people. You will stand out and people will do business with you. This dream can be your reality with hard work and patience.

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Photo: Flickr/ Joshua Hardy

This article originally appeared on Entreprenuer.com.

Don’t Spend Money on Your Business Unless…

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I sent a version of today’s post to my email list this past weekend. I’m continuing the thought here because it’s very important. I have been in this industry for the last five years and have seen some crazy stuff. I hope this helps.

I’m seeing a scary trend lately. Maybe this trend has always been there, but the numbers are what has me worried. I’ve started working with a number of new coaching clients and I’ve met a ton of new friends through the strategy calls I offered last week. The one theme I heard over and again was that a lot of money was spent on training with big name coaches and courses. When I say big money, I mean $10,000 to even $50,000.

I’m not here to judge anyone. I’m not here to tell you what to spend on your business/dream. I’m not here to knock what anyone charges for his or her premium content. These are all personal choices that each of us has to make. Heck, some probably think I charge too much.

What I will say is that you have to treat your lifestyle business as a business. You will make investments into your business, but investments have returns. Meaning, if you spend some money, it should be for a purpose and you should be taking action on what you learnt. You should be getting back what you put into your dream.

If you have not made progress after spending a bunch of money, you need to get honest about the reason. Maybe it’s YOU. I hate to say that, but sometimes it’s the truth. Maybe you want someone to do it for you, so you keep spending money. That won’t build your dream. YOU taking massive action is what moves the needle.

Maybe the programs and courses aren’t right for where you are. There is a lot of great information that you can use EVENTUALLY. There is a lot of information that is more of an overview—it’s just not specific enough. Avoid that. At the end of the day, most people building this kind of dream just need to focus on building their audience—period.

You can have all the fancy widgets, websites, players, and so on. But, if you have no audience, you can’t sell and make money. You can’t spread a message. Build your audience. Use exposure to build your name as an expert and you will have opportunities organically come to you. It’s not too hard to start making money in your online/lifestyle business in the first 30 days. My new coaching clients do it all the time. The point is to treat this as a business. Make investments that lead to returns and your dream being built.

Don’t get caught up in information overload. Don’t get caught up in fancy copy that is designed to get you to buy. Think about where you are in your building efforts and what makes the most sense for you right now. Get honest with yourself and talk it over with someone you trust.

STRATEGY SESSIONS

This weekend I emailed about the strategy sessions that I did all last week. What I failed to anticipate was the response. So many people responded that I couldn’t get all the session done today and tomorrow. So..

I’m extending the power strategy session offer one more week. My normal coaching rate is $300 an hour. Strategy sessions are $97 one-hour, one-off coaching sessions where we cover anything and everything related to lifestyle business.

We start with looking at your foundation (website, email list, and social media presence), we then talk about the three ways to build traffic and a massive audience, we then talk about how to make money. You will walk away with pages of notes and a plan. Just ask Benjamin.

If you would like this powerful hour of coaching, you would have to register and use the session by Sunday, June 5th. Hit reply to this email or email me directly at kconstable29@gmail.com. $97 that could literally lead to thousands of dollars in your business. I look forward to meeting more new friends.

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Photo: Flickr/ Paul Cheek

Consistency Leads to Opportunities in Your Lifestyle Business

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I’ve been in a deep funk for the last two months or so. During that time, I let a lot of opportunities slip. In my inbox right now, there are over 1,6000 emails. This is the most email that I’ve let pile up; I’m normally great at getting through email and responding. As I have started to go through the email, the speaking gigs, consulting work, and potential new coaching clients that I have missed shocks me. It’s downright depressing.

I’m a little surprised that people keep reaching out to me to speak and consult, but I shouldn’t be. For the first three years of my lifestyle business, I worked hard to find and pitch opportunities. I went after everything in hopes of building my dream. A few years ago, I started writing for large publications. After over a year of consistently writing solid articles for as many large publications as I can, the opportunities have started to come to me. I can look through my inbox and see the direct result of my efforts.

I will spend the next week clearing out my inbox and responding to the opportunities that are still active. I will lock in some cool gigs, like the one I just signed to speak at in Tokyo, Japan. What I am doing and have done is not something that can’t be repeated. Things have not worked out as planned, but I’m still grateful for what I have been blessed with. You can build a successful lifestyle business that involves doing the things you enjoy and you can do it at your pace. My initial pace was far too fast and it cost me dearly. You can learn from my mistakes and build in a smarter way.

It Starts With Your Website

I often get asked about blogging—many see it as a big waste of time. There are many reasons you should be putting out consistent content: it builds your following, it shows you know what you’re talking about, it helps people feel comfortable spending money with you, and it educates your audience. But, it also shows editors, event organizers, and potential companies that want to hire you that you are an expert and they can feel comfortable spending money with you.

If your website is a ghost town, you won’t get very far in your building efforts. Getting to the money and all the fun parts of this business starts with putting out great content that educates, inspires, and demonstrates. If you have not been consistent on your website with content, it’s time to start. You can’t get the bigger opportunities until you have your house in order.

It Continues With Consistency Everywhere  

Once you have done what you need to do on your site, it’s time to leverage. You can be a guest on a podcast, you can guest post, and you can get featured on large traditional media publications. But, as with your website, you have to be consistent. It amazes me how many people email me after having one article featured because they have not gotten traction. They think the one article should have been a viral hit. I wish it worked that way, but it usually doesn’t.

The way that you build your list, the way that you get organic opportunities is through consistency. When you—week in and week out—put out great content that educates and inspires, you will reach all of your larger goals. Just like with everything in life, it takes time. There will be those viral hits, but those aren’t the norm. The thing that builds a successful lifestyle business is when you show up and do the work. It’s a little bit of a slower build but think of this as building a foundation.

It’s been an interesting five years. There have been many highs and just as many lows. I have learned all along the way and continue to do so. In our industry, there is so much that can keep you from making progress. Information overload is a real thing that cripples many. Spending too much money on training that you might not be ready for is very common. Feeling like you don’t know what you should be doing is almost the norm. At the end of the day, if you don’t know what to do, focus on building your audience.

Where are you at in your efforts to build your lifestyle business?  

P.S. I have a lot of free time this coming week and want to make good use of it. I will be doing something I do from time-to-time: I will be offering power strategy sessions. These are one-hour sessions where we go over where you’re at and I give you solid step-by-step strategies to grow. You can also ask as many questions as you want.

These are one-hour, one-off strategy coaching sessions designed to jumpstart your progress. They are discounted to $97 an hour. My normal rate is $300 an hour, so it’s a nice deal. I only offer these when I have a clear schedule—which doesn’t happen too often. The last day to book one of these is Friday, May 27th, but the sessions have to be used by Sunday, May 29th.

I’d like to help you this week, if you are interested, email me at kconstable29@gmail.com to get one set up.

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Photo: Flickr/ Nick Kenrick

4 Things You Can Do Today to Make More Money Every Day

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Money isn’t the only reason to start or grow a business but you better believe it’s important. If your business isn’t making money, all you have is a nice hobby. There are a lot of activities you can do that seem like they will lead to income but they won’t. Successful entrepreneurs avoid the time wasters and focus on what will help their business grow.

There are four things you could do today — you could start right now if you’re not doing them — that could lead to more income in your business. These are simple but overlooked strategies that have withstood the test of time and technology. Your business can experience explosive growth with the right focus.

1. Sell more than makes you comfortable.

Chances are, you sell in your business. While you may know selling is important, you may not realize that you aren’t selling enough. The human brain can be a funny organ. Someone on your email list or involved in your ecosystem may need to see something as many as 37 times before it clicks in their brain.

While it feels like you are selling a lot, you probably aren’t selling enough. When you sell, you are bound to upset people — that’s okay. If you are consistently providing value for your audience, you have earned the right to tell them about your premium offerings. Sell more than you feel comfortable and you’ll see your income and business grow. Your audience wants to buy from you, they just need to know what you offer — tell them consistently.

2. Spend each day on income producing strategies.

Our natural inclination is to wake up and do what we feel is urgent. We check email, browse through social media and may even take calls. If you want to make more money now, start your day by doing things that lead to income. It could be crafting a well-written sales email to you email list, calling an old client and renewing their contract, or spending time selling to a lead who you know is ready to buy.

Start each day pursuing hot opportunities that require only a little work to close. You may not close a sale every day, but over time, you will close more and that will add to your bottom line. As this becomes a habit, you will be a well-oiled machine that knows how to spot opportunities.

3. Offer value that leads to building your email list.

Sales come when the customer sees that you know what you’re talking about and they have gotten value from you. Value is best delivered when what you provide is actionable in someone’s life. As you continually add value, you will build your email list and potential base of customers.

Spend more time on what you put out publicly. Your products, services, and information should separate you from your competition. They should have undeniable value because you’ve taken the proper time to make sure they do. Put this value out on your website, social media or wherever you advertise. Your email list will build offering you the opportunity to sell more. That will lead to more income.

4. Leverage massive exposure.

There are many fantastic chances for entrepreneurs today to get more visibility for their business. Social media has billions of users. Google AdWords, or SEO in general, can put your business in front of millions of potential customers. You can put out content on great websites, such as “Entrepreneur” and more, and get exposure to millions of people.

The Internet and social media have connected us and given us access to an almost limitless potential customer base. Leverage exposure for and in your business. Get your name and content in front of the larger audience and convert some of them into customers. Massive exposure will increase your bottom line dramatically and quickly.

If the growth or income has stalled in your business, these four things can help you right away. If you are doing just fine, use these to reach your next growth and income goals. There is a wealth of potential leads and income, for us as entrepreneurs, if we open our eyes and capitalize.

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Photo: Flickr/ Paul Cheek

This article originally appeared on Entreprenuer.com.

When Your Relationship Falls Apart While Building a Lifestyle Business

You can leverage exposure to build your dream lifestyle business. Let me show you how. Check out Exposure through Large Publications.

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You don’t plan on it happening, but life doesn’t always work out as planned. You simply want to build something for the person you love, but situations get in the way of your plans. You try hard to make the best out of a bad situation, but nothing that you do fixes the situation.

The distance is hard. The time away is hard. It feels like everything is all going wrong at the same time. You want to make things better, but you feel your relationship slipping away from you. Before you know it, you’re having the “talk.” The relationship is over.

You feel conflicting emotions. You are happy that your business is doing well, but you are sad that you lost the person you love in the process. You tried everything you could, but you can’t get them back. You try to reason beyond reason, but some things can’t be reasoned. What you do next determines how the rest of your year—and possibly your life—will go.

You have to make smart decisions—not only for your life—but also for your business. You have to look past what you feel and do what’s right for the situation. You have to think rationally even though everything inside of you is screaming. You have to find a way to pick yourself up when all you want to do is hide underneath the covers.

This is the situation I currently find myself in. Despite all my plans, things have not gone as planned at all. Every day I wake up and feel a wide range of emotions. I’m also dealing with attacks from all kinds of people because of half-truths that have been spread about me. I’m not writing theories here. I’m writing from real life experience.

Reaching Out for Support

I was in a funk for two months. I didn’t think about business. I didn’t want to take care of myself. All I wanted to do was listen to music whole hiding under the covers. It wasn’t until my best friend, Chaka, came to Colombia to visit me that I woke up. Seeing him and talking to him did something for me. It helped me see past my situation and see what I was doing.

During those two months, I did a lot of damage. I lost some customers. I lost some opportunities for speaking and consulting at a few new companies. I lost some friends. It was not a good time. That support from my best friends was my lifeblood. When you’re going through it, you want to handle things all by yourself. You want to hide and try to forget what you’re going through. You can’t do this alone. Don’t try to do this alone. Reach out for support because it’s one of the smart things you can do.

Don’t Neglect your Money  

One of the biggest mistakes I made was letting my business go. I worked so hard for five years to build my dream business and I let it all slip because of how I felt. My income decreased and I’m not sure if I can get it back. Money is not everything, but you do need it to survive. You can’t neglect what needs to be done because of your feelings.

As hard as it is, you have to find a way to work and earn during this difficult situation. You have to find a way to serve those who you want to help despite everything inside of your screaming. Be honest with those you’re blessed to help. You don’t have to give them all the intimate details of what’s happening, but you can let them know something is going on. You would be surprised at the level of support you’ll get. I’ve been blown away by the people who have reached out to me and offered support.

It’s hard, but you can overcome what you are feeling. You can keep your focus where it needs to be so that you don’t lose everything you’ve worked so hard to build—it’s important. I know what you’re going through and so do others. Don’t try to do this all alone. Don’t try to be stronger than you have to be.

Have you dealt with a relationship falling apart?

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Photo: Flickr/ Pavlos Georgiadis

5 Ways to Take the High Road When Haters Attack Your Reputation

Today is the last day to get two FREE coaching sessions when you buy my Exposure class or join my coaching program. Details here.

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As an entrepreneur, you work hard to build a reputation of integrity and trust. You understand that people do business with someone they know, like and trust, so you make it your goal to do business in that way. You keep your promises and you over-deliver with your products and services.

Life would be good if you could continue operating your business with no issues, but that’s not a reality. Attacks on your business and reputation are bound to happen, especially as you grow. Jealousy, envy, and other emotions can enter people’s mind and cause them to want to damage your business and attack your reputation.

Left unchecked, your customers could start believing what’s not true. I know this because I’m facing this very situation in my business. Over the last five years, I’ve openly and honestly built a successful lifestyle business. Despite my desire to serve, a few bad apples are determined to cloud the message. For a while, I thought I would stay quiet and let my reputation speak for itself. It’s taken some time to realize that’s not enough and not proactive. Here are five ways we, as entrepreneurs, can handle an attack on what we’ve built.

1. Don’t get into the mud with those attacking you.

It’s natural to want to fire right back at your attackers but it looks bad and it doesn’t solve anything. You get angrier and come off looking less professional. You don’t want to stay quiet, but you don’t want to let your emotions react for you. Ignore what they are saying and let your character and commitment to helping people do the talking for you. Actions speak louder than words.

2. Assure your loyal customers that business will continue as usual.

Customers fear a situation like this will lead to you being less productive, or worse, you closing your business. Let your customers know that you’re in business for the long haul and can weather any storm. Let them know they will still get the same or an even higher level of service from you. Difficult situations are what separate those who aren’t committed–don’t let that be you.

3. Counteract what is being said by offering extra value.

Your customers and those who follow you do so because of the value you offer. The more value you offer, the more the focus stays away from those who are attacking you. During a time when you are being challenged, give even more of that value. Focus on putting out content, products, and services that solve people’s biggest problems. At the end of the day, people want to know what’s in it for them. They will take good content over gossip any day of the week.

4. Reach out for support.

It’s tempting to want to run and hide and not tell anyone wants happening inside your mind, but that’s not smart. Reaching out for support does more than you realize. Other perspectives can help you get clarity. You can vent and strategize in a safe place with people you trust. Don’t let the anger build, talk to those who have your back and your best interest at heart.

5. Stay focused on your ‘why.’

You started your business and became an entrepreneur for a reason. That reason should always be the fuel that keeps you moving past any setbacks or difficult situations that will arise. Do what it takes to keep your business running and your customers assured while staying focused on your why. Let that be the motivation to keep going despite how you may feel.

An attack on your reputation feels like an explosive initially. You feel the pressure coming from all sides and you’re tempted to react emotionally — don’t do it. Take the initial hit and plan your next steps carefully. A good friend of mine says, “Never let them see you sweat.” The truth has a funny way of shining.

Stay focused on why you became an entrepreneur and continue to do the things that have made you successful. Don’t let those who have nothing better to do get the chance to keep you from what you want to accomplish in your life and business.

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Photo: Flickr/ Lucia Castillo

This article originally appeared on Entreprenuer.com.

The Top Five Large Publications You Should Target and Why

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This is one of the most asked questions that comes through my inbox. You see value in writing for large media publications, but you also want to maximize your efforts. There are a number of publications that you could choose but a handful will give you 80% of the results with 20% of your effort.

I called these publications “core” with my coaching clients and we start by targeting them. Writing for large publications is a great way, in general, to reach an untapped and always changing audience. You can grow an email list, get booked to speak, leverage your status for paid consulting at companies and far more. I picked these publications because they give you the best opportunity to do all of those things.

The Huffington Post

The Huffington Post gets 218 million unique visitors a month—that is reason enough to write for them. In addition to the traffic, they have a name that 99% of people will recognize. If want to leverage a name for speaking or consulting, the HuffPost is that name. They can help you build your lifestyle business, sell books (you get a book widget), build your email list, and much more. Targeting them will be worth your time because you can also leverage the name to get into the other publications.

Success.com  

SUCCESS is a pillar in the personal development industry. When you think of a solid publication with good content, you think of SUCCESS. The good content they consistently put out has led to a HUGE audience and they are responsive. This publication can help you build your list and build your business. It’s also a name that translates beyond the online space. SUCCESS has a paid platform that companies know and use, so when you approach them as a contributor for SUCCESS, you will get their attention. 

Entreprenuer.com

Writing for Entrepreneur has led to all of the speaking and consulting work that I’ve done over the last two years. Business owners, HR people, and entrepreneurs read this publication religiously. You will get tons of organic leads in your lifestyle business while writing for one of the most respected websites in the world. 

Inc. Magazine

Inc. gives you all the benefits the others do. It has a lot of traffic, you can convert some of that traffic, and it’s a name most people know and understand. But, they also PAY their regular contributors. If you are willing to write six times a month, they will pay you for your words and they pay well. You can get all the benefits of exposure plus make a couple of bucks.

Mind Body Green

Mind Body Green may not be as large or have the name the others do, but it is worth your time. They have a HIGHLY engaged audience and one that clicks. MBG has been the best for me as far as list building. It has also been the best to have a chance of an article going viral. They have a respected name and one you can leverage.

These are a few publications that I have found to be incredibly helpful in building a thriving lifestyle business. There are more, but it’s up to you to find the ones that will benefit where you are in your building efforts. The exposure strategy is one that will reap dividends.

If you want help maximizing this strategy, check out my course, Exposure through Large Publications. Registration opens tomorrow.

How are you building your lifestyle business?

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Photo: Flickr/ Miria Grunick

5 Ways to Leverage Large Publication Exposure

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If you have followed me for any amount of time, you know I’m a fan of leveraging large publication exposure. In the last two years, writing for some of the largest websites in the world has allowed my business to grow faster than I can handle. It’s opened doors to new opportunities and chances to live out my dream in a bigger way.

What I like so much about this strategy is that you can do it, too. You don’t have to be some super established expert to write an article that gets you accepted as a regular contributor. If you have followed me for any amount of time, you have seen the tips I’ve given on my blog and on various podcasts. Here are five ways you can leverage large publication exposure.

1. Building your email list.  

To build a successful lifestyle business, you have to sell some of your knowledge. The people on your email list are the ones who are most likely to buy what you’re selling. Your fans or followers on social media belong to those social media platforms. If they decide to change things, you are left picking up the pieces if you have built your following there. If someone is on your email list, they will see the messages you send out more than they’ll see them on social media. Large publications give you access to literally million’s of people and some of them will click back and sign up for your email list.

2. Getting your message out to a wider audience.

As I mentioned in the previous point, you get exposure to millions on some of these websites. If the money or opportunities aren’t your primary motivator, then getting exposure for your message is possible in a bigger way. You can spread of a message of hope to people who really need it through large publications.

3. Booking paid speaking.

When it comes to paid speaking, the money is not at the events we know and probably attend every year. There is some money in conferences in the ‘online space,’ but that’s probably just for the keynoters. Most of the money in paid speaking comes from events and industries you have probably never heard of. Those kinds of conferences are looking for speakers with social proof they can leverage. Saying you are a contributor to the largest websites in the world is a draw for their audience. Leverage any exposure you have to book paid speaking gigs all over the world. 

4. Booking paid consulting.  

Paid consulting works the same way paid speaking does. Companies are looking for experts; you have to have the kind of social proof a company is looking for. Online social proof doesn’t work. Companies need names and social proof they can take to their boards. Leveraging large publications is a great way to get booked. 

5. Getting new clients.

Getting exposure is a great way to pick up new clients in your business. The main problem with opportunities in the online space is the crossover in the audience. On publications, you get fresh exposure each time. When you write about certain topics, it will attract people who want to know more and one day do business with you.

I could talk to you all day long about the benefits of exposure. If you want to build a lifestyle business that supports you, get exposure to build a loyal and thriving audience. Don’t let self-limiting beliefs keep you from making a bigger impact this year.

What is one goal you’ve set this year in your lifestyle business?

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Photo: Flickr/ Alin Mechenici

4 Things Every Large Publication Editor is Looking for in a Pitch

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I am a contributing writer for some of the largest websites in the world. Additionally, my words have appeared in places such as Fox News, NBC News, Yahoo, Time, and many other prestigious outlets. I also edit at the Good Men Project. When it comes to exposure in large publications, I know a little bit about this stuff.

Getting exposure in mainstream publications has made all the difference in my business over the last couple of years—I wrote about that last post. It’s exposed what I do to a completely untapped audience. I know that there are many who read my blog that would love to contribute to some of these sites. Here’s what the editors at these sites are looking for.

1. A content producer who produces content regularly.

When an editor visits your website, they want to see someone who regularly puts out good content. I can’t tell you how many websites I’ve checked out of people who were pitching me that hadn’t posted on their own site in ages. Editors don’t want to bring on one-hit wonders. They want people who would be willing to contribute content regularly to the publication—someone who doesn’t do it on their own website is a red flag to an editor. Before you pitch any publication, make sure you are actively putting out content and have been doing so for at least a few months. 

2. Someone who knows what they are talking about.

An editor wants to see you are producing content on topics you have some knowledge of. If you are writing about building an online business but haven’t built one that supports you, it doesn’t connect. An editor will look at what you’ve put out on your site, and look at what you put out in other places, to make sure you have some knowledge of your topic. Research can be your best friend in becoming knowledgeable about a topic you’re passionate about. 

3. Someone who is willing to put the reader first.

At the end of the day, a reader comes to a publication and reads your articles because they want help. They want to know what’s in it for them. Your article—especially the one you’re pitching—should have clear takeaways. Don’t just make it about your story or what you learned, tell the readers what they can learn from your experience.

4. Someone who doesn’t come off entitled.

One of the worst ways to pitch an editor is with an attitude that you belong in that publication because of some things you may have done—an editor doesn’t care. They are looking for someone who will write, follow the rules, add value to the reader, and not scare readers away with pride. Yes, showcase your experience, but do it in a way that will feel like a benefit for the publication.

I have helped hundreds of people get into publications and most were not clients. You can write an article that gets accepted and gets you in as a regular contributor. You can leverage that exposure to build your dream. You can reach that untapped audience and get some cool opportunities. Here’s to you and your success. See how you’re doing with these four points and make any necessary adjustments.

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Photo: Flickr/ Eugene Kaspersky