Jessica Scott's Blog, page 39

A Salute to Veterans: Bryan Anderson

[image error]I had the privilege of reading an early copy of Bryan Anderson's NO TURNING BACK a few months ago and I've searched for the right words for a while to explain all the emotions that ran through me while reading Bryan's book.

The first thing I noticed when I crack the spine on this amazing tale is that you're reading the words of a soldier. He doesn't talk about "his accident" or some other euphemism for the day he was wounded. He talks about being "blown up". And that's what a soldier says.

As you can see in the interview with Morgan Doremus at RT, he's adamant about not being called a victim and that entire attitude is prevalent through the book. When you look at the cover, you may think it's a book about the walk through the valley of the shadow of death about his journey toward recovering from his wounds.

Don't for one instance think that Bryan is using this book as platform to talk about the war or how bad his life sucks or how much his life has been ruined by the war. This is not a victim. He's just another guy. One of my favorite chapters in his book is where he talks about there is no box. People want to put him in a box. Victim. Amputee. Hero. He rejects the labels because he, rightly so, refuses to be defined by the restrictions in those words. He's just another guy. He happened to get blown up.

The crux of this book is one of hope and a feeling like hell yeah, I can do that. He talks about finding a snowboarding knee and about how often he fell while he was learning to walk again.

You probably don't expect to laugh in a book about a guy who got blown up in Iraq but let me tell you. One of the funniest scenes I've read in a book IN YEARS is in Bryan's story. It's something that only a soldier would do and it's the perfect conclusion to his amazing story. I literally had tears running down my face in the middle of the night, laughing my ass off. You'll know it when you read it exactly what story I'm talking about.

Bryan has been through a lot but his story is one of strength and determination and above all, he carries a message of hell yeah, I can do that. He's frank about some of the things he did that he's not proud of. Above all, he's honest about what he's done, how he feels and what he's been through.

Please take a moment to watch Bryan's interview with Morgan.

And take a moment to remember our veterans who have gone before us. Bryan is among the best of us because he continues to give back. Every day.

Press Release: RANDOM HOUSE to Publish MOH Recipient Dakota Meyer's Book

Am incredibly honored to be able to share this great news in celebration of Veterans Day.

Random House announced today that it will publish a book by Dakota Meyer, the first living Marine to receive the Congressional Medal of Honor, the nation's highest military honor, in almost 40 years. The book will be written in collaboration with bestselling author (and former combat Marine) Bing West, to be published in July 2012.

In September 2009 a large force of Taliban insurgents ambushed a company of Afghan soldiers and their Marine advisors around the village of Ganjgal, Afghanistan. Disobeying direct orders to stay out of the fight, Dakota Meyer and a fellow Marine charged straight into the kill zone to save their comrades. "Those were my brothers, and I couldn't just sit back and watch," says Dakota. Pushed back but unrelenting, facing hopeless odds, he repeated the trip down the only road into the village over and over, under withering fire, each time rescuing more of his teammates. Due to Dakota's unshakable courage, the company rallied, and the lives of 36 Afghan and American men had been saved.

Meyer's book will be an eye-witness account of this battle — what led to it, what it looked like from inside. It will explore the nature of courage, what makes a warrior, and the aftermath of the conflict, including contradictory accounts, and personal and political tribulations that eventually culminated, three years after the battle, in a Medal of Honor Ceremony at the White House in September 2011, where President Obama declared that "the story of what Dakota did…will be told for generations." In the words of the award citation, "his unwavering courage and steadfast devotion to his U.S. and Afghan comrades, in the face of almost certain death, reflect a great credit upon himself and upheld the highest traditions of the Marine Corps."

Says Meyer, "I'm grateful for the opportunity to tell the whole story of what happened that day and to share the brave and selfless actions of my teammates and my fallen brothers. And there is no one better to work with on this book than Bing West."

Says Random House editor Will Murphy, "Dakota Meyer reminds us of what true valor is. What he did, with his brothers in arms, and for his brothers in harm's way, will resound with every American. We're immensely proud to be publishing this book."

Because of You Official Trailer

I am super excited to finally be able to reveal the official trailer for BECAUSE OF YOU. I love love love the music! The whole thing really sets up the book nicely, I think. But I'll let you be the judge.

ICYMI: BECAUSE OF YOU Excerpt

This week, Shiloh Walker was the first to be able to see a sneak peak at an excerpt from BECAUSE OF YOU. In case you missed it, here's the replay.

BECAUSE OF YOU – Excerpt:

Someone solid and heavy knocked into her and sloshed beer down the front of her blouse. A strong vise latched around her arm to steady her. She glanced up into the lightest grey eyes she'd ever seen. Grey eyes that she'd seen before but never this close. In the dimly lit bar, they looked almost silver.

Shane Garrison. A friend of Trent's. Jen had seen him around before, but had never actually spoken to him. He'd always seemed big, but up close he was massive. Black tribal tattoos twisted up both of his wrists, writhing up his forearms to disappear beneath the frayed edge of a green T-shirt. And who knew that bald could be so sexy in the right lighting? Had to be the rough jaw that did it.

"Sorry. You okay?" He leaned close to her ear so he didn't have to shout. Jen shivered as his breath brushed across her skin. He stood closer to her now than any man other than a doctor had in over a year. The heat from his body caressed her skin, and she could smell him, a mixture of spice and smoke and something entirely male. She swallowed and tried to find her voice.

"I'm fine. Thanks. This place is crowded." She knew better than this. She pulled her arm free and tugged the clinging blouse away from her skin, suddenly afraid that he would see the scars on her chest through the wet material.

As the words left her lips, someone jostled her into him again. He tried to steady her but she fell against him anyway.

Time hung suspended and she stood in this man's embrace, feeling protected and safe and deliciously unflawed. It was impossible to miss the hard angles of his body. For one brief fantasy moment, she imagined what it would feel like if this dangerous and sexy man lowered his mouth to hers.

More soon!

2nd Book Pressure

I spent all of last week remodeling my kitchen. One, because it's been on my to do list for about 5 months and two, because I've been stuck.

Jordan Dane told me once that writer's block is simply your brain's way of working on something that isn't done yet. And so as I'm painting my kitchen and installing a new sink and freaking out about getting the garbage disposal put back in, I know that my brain is working on the revisions my editor wrote me notes about.

So today, I sat down and cracked open my manuscript. Technically, I started last night but since I couldn't find my 3 hole punch (thank you children) I left the loose manuscript on the living room table after I finally crashed. But today when I opened it, I started feeling what can only be described as pressure.

I'm not a fan of anxiety. I've gotten used to it but there is nothing fun about feeling the world sitting on your lungs and feeling the need to fight your way out of whatever situation is causing it. Here's the thing though: my editor didn't ask for MAJOR changes. Sure, I need to lighten the book up (she's right) and expand the world (she's right) but these are not MAJOR overhauls in my world.

Except that as I'm looking at my pages, the phrase slash and burn keeps repeating itself. I've trashed dozens of pages in this thing, cutting wholesale scenes and chapters. I've reorganized the opening. Now I'm wondering if my whole opening doesn't completely suck and I need to redo it because, well, does it really lay out the story questions well enough? Can you pick this book up without having read BECAUSE OF YOU and care enough about the characters to read it as a stand alone?

See where I'm going with this? I'm slightly freaking out because, well, I kind of like BECAUSE OF YOU. I proof read the digital galley last night and, well, I kind of like it. I don't think it sucks. I'm proud of that book and the changes that my editor suggested made it stronger. Her changes this time will make the book stronger.

So why am I feeling the pressure to rip it up? Is it fear that book 2 will be the sophomore flop? Is it my own inner critic that just needs to shut the hell up and let me write? Why now am I feeling this horrible desire to tear the manuscript up?

I'm worried that I haven't done my best. I'm worried that I may not have done my character's justice. That my first book was somewhat of a fluke and the second and third will not be worthy of that first book.

Or, maybe I'm just freaking insane and need to sit my ass in front of this computer and revise the damn book like I'm capable of. So how bout it folks? Did/does the fear of that second book change how you write? Readers, what second books haven't lived up to the expectations of the first? Writers, how did you conquer that 2nd book fear?

Cause I am all about needing some advice tonight.

24 Hours Until GRE: What Have I Learned

Unless you're one of those people who works well under pressure, deciding the take the GRE in less than 2 months when, well, you haven't exactly been in school recently is not, ahem, a brilliant plan. And, if you're like me, you need a plan.

Oh, in case you're wondering why I decided to put myself through this, well, see, I got a letter from the human resource manager at West Point and decided, hell yes, I want to go teach History at USMA. Um, hello dream job. But I needed a plan.

My plan, in this case, sucked. I started studying in August in order to take the exam on Labor Day weekend. August was somewhat of a hellish month and so, at the last minute, I forfeited the 60$ and said to hell with it, I'm not taking this test. And so I rescheduled. Unfortunately, September was equally hellish and, well, I didn't do much by way of studying. Soo October rolled around and yes, I realized I was 3 weeks out.

And crap.

Math has never been my strong point and yet, in order to have a snowball's chance in hell of passing this stupid test, I needed to cram about 10 years worth of forgotten math into about three weeks.

Luckily for me, I discovered I actually had a whole extra week because while I thought I'd scheduled my test for the 22 of October, I'd actually scheduled it for the 29th. Cue extra week celebration.

Or not.

I actually took a practice test on Monday on paper in the book and, well, my results were abysmal to say the least. My dream job was slowly meandering down the street, further and further away and I was stuck on the sidewalk. So I got pissed.

I took a computer test that night. And didn't do nearly as bad as I thought I had. Practice test the following day, did better. So today, I'm taking one more practice test, just to warm up, and then I'm going to read a book and rest my brain.

I'm as good as I'm going to get. So, what did I learn through all of this?

First, unless your goal is to max this sucker and really learn all this crap, teach to the test. Now there are 800 books out there on the GRE. Don't do what I did and buy 17 of them. Pick the one that has the most ONLINE computer based practice tests. The Barron's book has 1. The Kaplan book has 1. The Princeton Review book with DVD has 4, but I didn' t know that at the time. So I ended up buying all four of those books.

Second, I have no idea WHY we can't just go online to any of these prep sites and buy practice tests but you can't. You have to buy the entire prep course which is to the tune of 400-500$. I had neither the time nor the money to invest in these things, so I was stuck with the books. Not a bad plan but still, the books above come with online practice tests. Use them.

The ETS practice software only comes with 1 practice test. So you get to take the same test over and over and over and they don't tell you it only comes with 1 test unless you call in. It's a pain in the ass but it's free so take it for what it's worth. Personally, I was a little annoyed but whatever.

Flashcards are your friend. If your vocabulary sucks, you need to pound new words into your scull because if you don't know the difference between peregrinate and perambulate (they're actually similar) you're not going to be able to discern the difference on test day.

Figure out what your weak areas are and focus on those. Unless you need a truly badass score, make sure you get the minimum for whatever program you're looking for. Otherwise, all the strengths in the world on verbal won't make up for the fact that you can't find the perimeter of a triangle raises hand sheepishly.

Anxiety matters. I could physically feel the difference when I would start getting frustrated with myself. Figuring out how to relax on test day is important. My method of choice will be a small glass of wine before I go in. Laugh if you want to or think I need AA but the bottom line is that if I let my anxiety get out of control, I won't be able to think straight and that will impact my score.

So we'll see how this whole thing pans out tomorrow. I'm hoping that I've done enough. What pisses me off the most is that I want to go back in time and slap my 7th grade self and tell her to get off her ass and study that math more. Because that whole conversation I had with multiple teachers about when will I ever use this stuff in real life?

Completely coming back to bite me in the ass.

Wish me luck!

PS: There's no guarantee that ANYTHING I learned is actually working.

It's 24 Hours Until the GRE: What Have I learned

Unless you're one of those people who works well under pressure, deciding the take the GRE in less than 2 months when, well, you haven't exactly been in school recently is not, ahem, a brilliant plan. And, if you're like me, you need a plan.

Oh, in case you're wondering why I decided to put myself through this, well, see, I got a letter from the human resource manager at West Point and decided, hell yes, I want to go teach History at USMA. Um, hello dream job. But I needed a plan.

My plan, in this case, sucked. I started studying in August in order to take the exam on Labor Day weekend. August was somewhat of a hellish month and so, at the last minute, I forfeited the 60$ and said to hell with it, I'm not taking this test. And so I rescheduled. Unfortunately, September was equally hellish and, well, I didn't do much by way of studying. Soo October rolled around and yes, I realized I was 3 weeks out.

And crap.

Math has never been my strong point and yet, in order to have a snowball's chance in hell of passing this stupid test, I needed to cram about 10 years worth of forgotten math into about three weeks.

Luckily for me, I discovered I actually had a whole extra week because while I thought I'd scheduled my test for the 22 of October, I'd actually scheduled it for the 29th. Cue extra week celebration.

Or not.

I actually took a practice test on Monday on paper in the book and, well, my results were abysmal to say the least. My dream job was slowly meandering down the street, further and further away and I was stuck on the sidewalk. So I got pissed.

I took a computer test that night. And didn't do nearly as bad as I thought I had. Practice test the following day, did better. So today, I'm taking one more practice test, just to warm up, and then I'm going to read a book and rest my brain.

I'm as good as I'm going to get. So, what did I learn through all of this?

First, unless your goal is to max this sucker and really learn all this crap, teach to the test. Now there are 800 books out there on the GRE. Don't do what I did and buy 17 of them. Pick the one that has the most ONLINE computer based practice tests. The Barron's book has 1. The Kaplan book has 1. The Princeton Review book with DVD has 4, but I didn' t know that at the time. So I ended up buying all four of those books.

Second, I have no idea WHY we can't just go online to any of these prep sites and buy practice tests but you can't. You have to buy the entire prep course which is to the tune of 400-500$. I had neither the time nor the money to invest in these things, so I was stuck with the books. Not a bad plan but still, the books above come with online practice tests. Use them.

The ETS practice software only comes with 1 practice test. So you get to take the same test over and over and over and they don't tell you it only comes with 1 test unless you call in. It's a pain in the ass but it's free so take it for what it's worth. Personally, I was a little annoyed but whatever.

Flashcards are your friend. If your vocabulary sucks, you need to pound new words into your scull because if you don't know the difference between peregrinate and perambulate (they're actually similar) you're not going to be able to discern the difference on test day.

Figure out what your weak areas are and focus on those. Unless you need a truly badass score, make sure you get the minimum for whatever program you're looking for. Otherwise, all the strengths in the world on verbal won't make up for the fact that you can't find the perimeter of a triangle raises hand sheepishly.

Anxiety matters. I could physically feel the difference when I would start getting frustrated with myself. Figuring out how to relax on test day is important. My method of choice will be a small glass of wine before I go in. Laugh if you want to or think I need AA but the bottom line is that if I let my anxiety get out of control, I won't be able to think straight and that will impact my score.

So we'll see how this whole thing pans out tomorrow. I'm hoping that I've done enough. What pisses me off the most is that I want to go back in time and slap my 7th grade self and tell her to get off her ass and study that math more. Because that whole conversation I had with multiple teachers about when will I ever use this stuff in real life?

Completely coming back to bite me in the ass.

Wish me luck!

The End of A War

I was barely born when Vietnam came to an end. I remember being a little girl, and watching news reports about the years following Vietnam but I never really understood why it was important and why we kept hearing about it until much later in life.

My daughters will watch the news tonight. I will make sure of it. I want them to remember the day the President said that the war in Iraq was coming to an end for American soldiers. I want them to remember the day the President said their daddy would be home for Christmas.

And I pray, more than anything, that he simply comes home. That not one more soldier dies in this war.

4479 service members have died in Iraq. Do not ever forget the families watching the news right now who will not have that homecoming because their son or daughter or husband or wife has fallen.

I didn't expect my own reaction to the news that the war was ending. In 2005, my husband had first returned from Iraq a changed man. We were determined that one tour was enough, that we'd done our part and we were getting out of the military. But time passed and we stayed. We stayed, agreeing we would stay until it became too hard for our small family.

We stayed, through 4 combat tours. We stayed, through missed birthdays and anniversaries, through long nights waiting for phone calls, through tears while I sat in my CHU downrange, wanting nothing more than to go home and hold my babies.

We stayed, knowing that this war could drag on for decades or longer. We stayed.

Today, the President has announced the war is over, but it's not over. We still have soldiers in Iraq. We still have troops patrolling every single day, providing the covering force for their brothers and sisters as they come home.

So today is cause for optimism. I won't lie and tell you I didn't cry. That the crushing sense of relief that is will finally, finally be over didn't bring tears to my eyes that I couldn't have stopped even if I'd wanted to. That I didn't sit here and weep, remembering standing on the flight line in Mosul, saluting flag draped coffins.

I will never forget where I was when the war started with shock and awe. I was standing in the S3 office in Korea, watching the bombs falling on Baghdad.

I will never forget where I was when I heard the news that our troops were finally, finally coming home. Sitting in Barnes and Noble, the day after my change of command, listening to the President tell the American people "Today, the war in Iraq will be over."

A day I never thought would come has finally arrived. Now, there is just one more day that needs to come. My husband, marching across Cooper field, coming home for the last time to his little girls.

Pray for our troopers who will close this war down. Pray that every single one of them still over there comes home safely, that not one more family must mourn the loss of a loved one.

Today, the war comes to an end, but it's not over until our last soldier is home.

So…My LTs Made A Quote List

Apparently, I'm quotable. My lieutenants, past and present, well, actually all past now, thought they'd make me laugh with a list of things I said frequently over the last year.

Honestly, I can't believe I'm sharing this. It's actually somewhat embarrassing how *much* cussing is really on this. So I really, really need to work on that. But, because they made me both laugh and cry with this list, I'll share.

Here goes.

The Commander's Quote List

1. It's not what you know, it's what you can prove

2. Not only no, but f*@k no

3. f*@k

4. Dammit

5. You gotta be f*@king kidding me

6. XO!!

7. Unf*@k this right now

8. Let it be written, let it be done

9. Yea, verily

10. This is f*@king retarded.

11. Really?

12. You're shitting me, right?

13. Stop. Stop! Who is this "they"?

14. He said what?

15. Should?

16. Hope is not a method

Change of Command

It's barely been a year since I took the guidon. I'm sitting here now, no longer Viper 6. It feels strange because I half expect the phone to chime with one of my LTs asking me something. It was a great year. Very frustrating but also very rewarding. There will be many more blogs about my time in command, now that I'm no longer in the hot seat but for today, I'll just post my speech to my company. I'm proud that I didn't cry during my speech and even got a few laughs. Mostly, I'm proud as hell of having been Viper 6. They are truly a great company and while there are many things I could have done differently, I can't hang onto what I should have done. I can only look back on what I did do and hope that, as I said in my speech, that I made a difference.

Names have been redacted to protect the guilty:)

Distinquished guests, thank you for joining us here today. I promised a few of you that this would be a quick speech and it will be because honestly, who's really listening? This is just about the only thing between you and free chow, right? So, hopefully without embarrassing myself, here goes.

Ma'am it was just a year ago that I stood here thanking you for the opportunity to command. I promised I would not let you down and while I know I frustrated the hell out of you, I hope I never disappointed you. I have to thank my daughters most of all because they didn't realize it but they let you borrow me for this tour. To my babysitter, you have been a blessing in my life and in my daughter's lives. You have been more than a babysitter, you have become a friend. I joked that the cats raised my kids this year, but in reality, you were all that stood between my children and Lord of the Flies. Thank you for giving my girls a summer they'll not soon forget. I'd thank my husband but he's in Iraq right now so I'll thank him properly when he gets home.

First Sergeant, when you accepted the guidon last year from me, neither one of us knew that you'd accepted it for good but I am so grateful it was. I've said it before, but I think it's true: you've taken more butt chewings for me than probably any First Sergeant in the history of the Signal Corps and still, you always had my back. Thank you for always giving me honest counsel, for making me play well with others when I didn't want to, for not letting my good idea fairies get out of control and mostly, for taking care of our Soldiers. You are among the best the NCO Corps has to offer and I am honored to have served with you.

I can't name every soldier who impacted my life this year but I'd be remiss without mentioning a few. My supply team. You processed more AARs, turned in more equipment and read off more serial numbers than anyone in recent history. Thank you for never quitting, for always accomplishing the mission. All the troopers in the company operations. Thank you for not calling the IG on me when I started cussing and thanks for taping up the Viper Cuss pot when I broke it. I think we can retire it now. I don't think the new commander swears like I do. But I'm working on that. I've quit cussing. Again. No really. My motorsergeant and everyone in the motorpool. Last year at this time, we were in dire straights on our maintenance but since you came on board, you managed to turn the course and get us going in the right direction. Your ability to find damn near any part on post – and do it legally – continues to impress me. Thank you for working long hours and late nights and never giving up.

To my lieutenants past and present. No, I am not thanking Apple but I am glad all of you had unlimited texting, even when you texted me at three in the morning, just to let me know you'd all gotten home safely. Thank you for never quitting, even when I threatened you with the choice between working all night on an OPORD versus chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese. It may not have been the dinner of champions, but you got the order written. I demanded a lot from you but each and every one of you dug in and figured it out. I am proud of what you accomplished even if I only turned one of you onto books. Remember that you are stronger together than you are separately and never let the comms go down. No matter what, remember that our mission is to make sure that 18 year old kid walking the streets can call for fire or call for MEDEVAC.

Charlie Company, you look amazing. I am proud to have served as your commander. We worked a lot of late nights and long hours but no one had to wear the Flavor Flav laptop necklace. You deployed in support of 504th BFSB in North Fort Hood, 52nd Engineers and 62nd CSSB in Guernsey WY and 21st CAV MRX in Brownwood. You prepared to deploy in support of Hurricane Irene, 13th ESC's CTE and KMI. You were one of the first units in recent Army history to engineer a TROPO link and pass WIN-T data over that link. Despite having to evacuate the site from the forest fires, there was never a doubt in my mind that you could accomplish that mission and as usual, you never failed.

Charlie Company, thank you for never saying We Can't. Thank you for always giving it a hundred and ten percent and remembering that what we do isn't about us, it's about that 18 year old kid on patrol. I never did manage to make you laugh at my safety briefings even if you were quietly horrified at the very first one. Remember to continue to have each other's back.

To the new commander, Charlie Company the best damn group of soldiers I've served with in 16 years. Give them a task and purpose and they will never fail. I will never forget my time as Viper Six. It has been the most rewarding position I have ever held. I hope I made a difference in some small way.

Viper Six, Out.