Jessica Scott's Blog, page 41

After 11 Years…Now He Makes Me Cry

One of the things I love about my husband is his ability to make me laugh. Over the years, the cards he's sent with flowers for our anniversary or my birthday have made me laugh more than anything. They're sarcastic. They're crude humor that make me laugh.

He's the joy in my life but more, he's the funny. He can make me laugh at damn near any situation. I'll be talking to him about work and he'll make a crack about things not to say to an unemployed dick (translation things women should not talk about in front of men on a deployment).

But for our anniversary, no matter what, he always sends something that will make me laugh. So why this year did he decide that he needed to say something sweet? Why did he have to say "I'll be home soon" instead of something inappropriately funny like normal? Why this year, when I've been so busy I can't even believe half the year is already gone and he's been deployed for just over six month, does he have to change things up? I like the smart ass comments. I like the jokes. But this year, he decided to change things up on me when I wasn't expecting it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm impressed as hell that he managed to get me flowers and a card on time for our anniversary. I'm happier, though, that I got to talk to him for a few minutes and I wouldn't have been mad that I didn't get to talk to him or if he hadn't managed to send anything. Hell he just got back off an 18 hour convoy in full kit in 130 degree heat. Not fun. And he still managed to send a card and flowers and make me smile. At least before I started bawling like a baby.

I've done good this year. Maybe deployment has become part of my new normal where I'm like crap I just want the year to start so I can get it over with. Maybe I'm used to having him gone, which means keep busy, keep the kids busy so they don't miss him. Which is kind of sad in and of itself when you really think about it. So I suppose I'm a little over due for some melancholy moments. I wasn't really even thinking about our anniversary much. I was serious when I said the thing I did to celebrate was go grocery shopping by myself.

I miss him. I can stay as busy as I want but at the end of the day, all it means is I'm too tired to cry and really miss him. But sometimes, like tonight, it all leaks out and I remember that, no, my life isn't normal without him. My life is just a little less funny, a little too serious. So tonight, as I try to find some way to fall asleep, I'll just wish that the rest of the year goes by as fast as the first part of it, so I can have my husband home.

Damn but I'm tired of the war.

Blog Tour? Where Do I Even Start?

Okay, need some advice for a newbie author. I suppose at some point I need to start a blog tour schedule. The problem is, how do I even begin? Is it something I just go around to my favorite blogs and ask someone if I can have a date on the calendar? Or is this something my publisher starts?

I honestly have no idea how to do this but I do know that I'm probably already behind the power curve if I'm less than 90 days until my book comes out and I don't have anything scheduled yet, right?

What does a blog tour look like? How do you schedule it? And who do you contact?

Anyone with information, I'd appreciate advice, guidance and direction!

BECAUSE OF YOU Back Cover Copy

So this post was going to be very exciting for me because I have the back cover copy of Because of You. But this gets even better because now Because of You is available for preorder!!

This is kind of big for me. This feels like a moment where I feel like, yes, this has really, really happened. I am so freaking excited right now!!

buy from: B & N | Borders | Indiebound | Amazon | Powell's

From the war-torn streets of Baghdad to the bittersweet comforts of the home front, two wounded hearts navigate the battlefield of coming home from war in this explosive eBook original from newcomer Jessica Scott.

Keeping his men alive is all that matters to Sergeant First Class Shane Garrison. But meeting Jen St. James the night before his latest deployment makes Shane wonder if there's more to life than war. He leaves for Iraq remembering a single kiss with a woman he'll never see again—until a near fatal attack lands him back at home and in her care.

Jen has survived her own brush with death and endured its scars. And yet there's a fire in Shane that makes Jen forget all about her past. He may be her patient, but when this warrior looks her in the eyes, she feels—for the first time in a long time—like a woman. Shane is too proud to ask for help, but for Jen, caring for him is more than a duty—it's a need. And as Jen guides Shane through the fires of healing, she finds something she never expected—her deepest desire.

Author Pics: The Final 2

Ok gang, I'm down to the final 2 pics to choose from. I've used a bunch of the other pics in various locations but for the pic at the back of the book, I'm between these two.

So what do you think?

The 9 Month Deployment Myth

So if you've been paying attention lately, you may have seen that starting in 2012, deployments are going to shift to 9 months for Army units. Which is great right? That's what we've been trying to get to for years since the wars started. Finally, the senior leaders are doing what we promised our troops for so long: time home.

Yeah. Not so much.

See the 9 month deployment thing only applies to, well, units. So if you happen to stay part of a single unit for the entire deployment cycle as well as once you come home, great for you. But the reality is that many many folks are not in the same unit today that they were in 3 years ago. And what does that mean? They're deploying again and they may or may not get the 9 month deployment thing.

See HRC, by necessity, is a numbers game. How long have you been on station? How long since you've been overseas? When was your last combat tour? Have you been to Korea yet? And the folks bearing the brunt of these assignments? Our enlisted force. I've got sergeant E5s in my formation that have deployed to combat 3 and 4 times. If they've been in my unit the whole time, they've gotten a little more dwell time than they might have if they'd been in a brigade combat team. But what if they just came from a BCT to my unit? Well guess what, we're deploying in a few more months. And well, if they won't waive their dwell time, then I can't use them.

As a commander, much like HRC must, I've got to look at the big picture. I've got to look and figure out where I can afford to assume risk and where I cannot. If I lose my E5s because they break, either from too much family strain, too many combat tours or a combination of both, what have I done? I've hollowed out my force, depending on folks that are too junior to know all of the implied tasks that come with being an NCO.

Since I've become an officer, there are many things on this side of the fence that still piss me off and the number one reason is the manning on the enlisted side of the house. Why does it take an act of Congress to get an E5 delayed on an assignment so that his spouse can move with him? Why does it take an act of a two star general to get a master sergeant's assignment deleted so that his spouse can PCS with him? We make everything so difficult when it comes to taking care of the folks who really do make our Army run. Because believe me, if the NCO corps isn't doing it's job, every single officer will feel the pain.

So why can't we take better care of our enlisted troops or better, of the individual? Is it a matter of being overwhelmed by the sheer number of people who need/want assistance? Why does someone half way across the country get the final vote when I, as the commander on the ground, know what's best for him or her?

The 9 month deployments are a good thing for those folks who stay in a single unit. But Korea is always an assignment necessity. As are the mandatory schools that check the block on your professional education system. And all of that means that our combat veterans, our troops who need to have the ability come home at the end of the day and sit on their couch with their families and put their kids to bed don't get that chance. Some people can handle it and continue to soldier on. Others can't and there is no shame in raising your hand and saying, I can't keep doing it.

But when we as an institution stop caring about the needs of individual over the needs of the whole, or make it too difficult to care for those troops who have given us their all and just ask for a little time to heal, we have failed.

I'm glad we're going to 9 month deployments for units. Just don't get it twisted and think it applies to everyone because it doesn't. The units are made up of people. And far too many of those individuals haven't had the time they need to recover from the constant cycle of deployments.

Author Pics: The Results

So for those of you who don't check twitter or facebook, the big news from yesterday was that I got my author pics back. I've got to tell you, they came out better than I expected.

Buzz Covington, owner of Buzz Covington Photography did the honors and folks, he was so easy and fun to work with!

I'm thrilled with how well they came out and while you may notice that I've changed the header of my site here on the blog, I still have to figure out which picture I want in the back of my book.

So swing on over to http://covingtonphoto.com/jess to check out the pics. The password is "random"

Or check out some of the pics below!

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Author Pictures

So one of the things that I have to do now is get author pics. And I'll admit, I love getting dressed up and all that but this is kind of daunting. I mean, if I get the wrong pose, people are going to look at the back of the book and go WTF?

I can't used any of the Army pics I've got because that's a violation of ethics rules. So it's all civilian Jess all the way around. I've called up a good friend of mine who is building his portfolio and he's getting some ideas together. I'm very excited because he's got a great eye and I totally get to plug his work. But really, I'm doing legit author pics.

Hang on. I'm having a moment.

Anyone who spent time with me at RWA 11 knows I said that a lot. There were so many times where I just had to stop and take a second to absorb everything. Like meeting legendary editors at Random House. Or even being in the Random House lobby (seriously, that place is awe inspiring). Or seeing my book cover up in the Spotlight and learning I was going to be the Loveswept launch.

But ever since I've been home from New York, it's been game on. All the fun and prep for New York has been gone and it's been ACUs and combat boots and impossibly long days and into the nights. I've been exhausted, to the point that Monday night, I gave up and just went to bed. It feels like the last three weeks have taken everything I've had just to keep going because some of the stuff we've been dealing with at work is just…it's draining. I've got the best job in the world and I wouldn't give it up for anything.

So to take a step back this weekend and get dressed up again for pictures is going to be fun. Hopefully, it'll give me a brief escape with friends to relax and take some fun pictures that will hopefully hide all the dog hair in my house. And I'm sure, if we do take the pics at my house, that there will be at least one cat sneaking into the picture. Maybe a kid or two. But it's going to be fun.

So what do you like about author pics? What do you look for in them? What drives you crazy about author photos? And fellow authors, how did you decide that this picture was the one for the back of your book and your website? Would love some advice and recommendations!

Lessons Learned…More to Go

I'm struggling tonight. I'm struggling to take almost 4 years as an officer and 12 years as a NCO and merge the two. My life in the army is divided into 3 parts: Junior enlisted Jess (less than 2 years), Sergeant Jess (over 10) and Officer Jess. I would argue that Officer Jess has learned more in the last 3 years than Sergeant Jess had to learn in her previous 12. Or maybe, the lessons I learned then are different in scope and impact than the lessons I've learned more recently.

3 years ago this week, I was in the field on Fort Hood on my first brigade level exercise in a brigade combat team. Why am I starting with 3 years ago? Because 3 years ago, I went to the field with a brigade combat team and learned about an Army I'd only heard about. See, when I was a private and a sergeant, there were these battalions called division signal battalions. They supported, well, divisions. So here on Fort Hood, there used to be the 13th Signal Battalion which supported 1st Cav. There used to be 124th Signal Battalion, which supported 4th ID. And then there was 3rd Signal Brigade, which supported all the Corps assets.

There has always been a line between division and non divisional units. Always. Division units went to the field. A lot. Division units had to provide comms to the warfighters. Non div, how I came up, supported Corps Mains. Major TOCs.

So when I commissioned from a sergeant first class to a second lieutenant, I thought I had a pretty good grip on the signal stuff. I breezed through officer basic course half asleep (I wrote 2 books while I was there, versions of which will never see the light of day but I digress). And then I arrived in Greywolf. I had a brigade commander look at me and tell me that he didn't care that I was a second lieutenant, I had 13 years in the army and he expected me to perform as major. I don't think I did all that well but I didn't get fired. But what I did to, in spades, was learn.

So when I talk about 3 years ago this week, I was in the field here on Fort Hood, I remember it so clearly because I learned so much. I slept on top of my shelter because the radios wouldn't stay up. I learned how to tell a company commander what to do with his retrans that his sergeants put at the bottom of a hill. I learned how to break the news to a brigade commander that his communications wasn't working because we put the RETRANS at the bottom of a hill. I learned that you don't screw with the ops sergeant major or he'll put a toilet borne IED on the FBCB2 with your name on it. And leave it there for the entire exercise.

And I learned what it is that we as signaleers do. I saw the impact of when comms worked and when it didn't. Three months later, I'd be putting the radios back in system in time for a real world MEDEVAC to be called. Let me tell you when you hear "MEDEVAC Follows" and you know that you just got that link in, it'll hit you that what we do is not GI Joe and Army Ants.

As I'm writing this, I'm wondering what am I actually trying to say. What am I actually getting at. Whether I want to be one or not, by virtue of my position I am a leader and as a leader, the decisions I make have an impact. If I fail to request chow, my soldiers have to eat MREs. Or worse, buy their own food. If I fail to get communications in, someone may not get the air support they need. But back here in garrison, maybe the mission doesn't happen. But will someone die? Training in garrison is training for combat. It's not combat.

So as a second lieutenant, did I screw up. Hell yeah I screwed up. A lot. I didn't get the right radios for one of the battalions once. But once I realized what I'd done, I moved heaven and earth to get the right amount of radios for them. And I can guarantee you I didn't do it again. So maybe, what 2LT Jess learned during that two weeks of following her brigade commander around 3 summers ago is that learning takes all sorts. Maybe, making all the mistakes in the world back here garrison is okay. Even to the point of soldiers have to go through the pain with you.

Maybe that's okay because we're back here in the rear, we're training. We're learning. And maybe, the lessons that 2LT Jess learned are not going to be the same lessons my 2LT s learn from me. But maybe, just maybe, the mistakes they're making now will sink in and they won't do it again. And maybe, they still need me to hold onto the back of their bike until they're a little more steady before I let go. I'm not sure but as I'm struggling tonight to find a way to help my subordinates learn, I'm learning new things about myself.

What can I do differently so that the people who work for me learn and the lessons sink in?

Craving Cowboys: Catch Me by Lorelie Brown

Craving Cowboys: Catch Me by Lorelie Brown

I've made no secret that I've been on a cowboy craze lately. I'm not sure what started it, except that I am perfectly willing to admit that the evening I spent up at Cow Town, NJ got me thinking about the man behind the rodeo clown. But I digress.

[image error]I've always loved romances set in the wild west. I grew up reading Johanna Lindsay's">Catch Me, I jumped at the chance. The cover alone is enough to make me want to buy it (seriously, look at that cover) but the growing relationship between Dean and Maggie made me need to finish it.

There aren't too many books that open with a bank robbery. At least, not with a woman robbing the bank and everyone in the whole town knows its her. But Maggie needs money and she needs it fast. Her dad is sick and he's the last person on earth she has since her brother was murdered.

Dean Collier makes a deal with the devil, quite literally: bring Maggie back to town to face justice and he'll be the sheriff. It's a chance to save his soul. At least, that's what Dean thinks until he meets Maggie. And then, all bets are off as she gets beneath his skin, little by little, and makes him question everything about what he did and who he was.

Catch Me is a great offering from Lorelie Brown and a must read for anyone looking for a sweet, yet sexy cowboy. Maggie never lets Dean get the upper hand and she's no simpering damsel waiting to be rescued. I love a strong heroine and Maggie matches Dean time and again. So if you're craving a steamy cowboy romance, complete with assless chaps (I'm kidding) (maybe I'm not), swing on over to Carina Press and pick up Lorelie's latest novel.