2nd Book Pressure

I spent all of last week remodeling my kitchen. One, because it's been on my to do list for about 5 months and two, because I've been stuck.

Jordan Dane told me once that writer's block is simply your brain's way of working on something that isn't done yet. And so as I'm painting my kitchen and installing a new sink and freaking out about getting the garbage disposal put back in, I know that my brain is working on the revisions my editor wrote me notes about.

So today, I sat down and cracked open my manuscript. Technically, I started last night but since I couldn't find my 3 hole punch (thank you children) I left the loose manuscript on the living room table after I finally crashed. But today when I opened it, I started feeling what can only be described as pressure.

I'm not a fan of anxiety. I've gotten used to it but there is nothing fun about feeling the world sitting on your lungs and feeling the need to fight your way out of whatever situation is causing it. Here's the thing though: my editor didn't ask for MAJOR changes. Sure, I need to lighten the book up (she's right) and expand the world (she's right) but these are not MAJOR overhauls in my world.

Except that as I'm looking at my pages, the phrase slash and burn keeps repeating itself. I've trashed dozens of pages in this thing, cutting wholesale scenes and chapters. I've reorganized the opening. Now I'm wondering if my whole opening doesn't completely suck and I need to redo it because, well, does it really lay out the story questions well enough? Can you pick this book up without having read BECAUSE OF YOU and care enough about the characters to read it as a stand alone?

See where I'm going with this? I'm slightly freaking out because, well, I kind of like BECAUSE OF YOU. I proof read the digital galley last night and, well, I kind of like it. I don't think it sucks. I'm proud of that book and the changes that my editor suggested made it stronger. Her changes this time will make the book stronger.

So why am I feeling the pressure to rip it up? Is it fear that book 2 will be the sophomore flop? Is it my own inner critic that just needs to shut the hell up and let me write? Why now am I feeling this horrible desire to tear the manuscript up?

I'm worried that I haven't done my best. I'm worried that I may not have done my character's justice. That my first book was somewhat of a fluke and the second and third will not be worthy of that first book.

Or, maybe I'm just freaking insane and need to sit my ass in front of this computer and revise the damn book like I'm capable of. So how bout it folks? Did/does the fear of that second book change how you write? Readers, what second books haven't lived up to the expectations of the first? Writers, how did you conquer that 2nd book fear?

Cause I am all about needing some advice tonight.