Lüc Carl's Blog, page 9
July 20, 2012
I UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN, BUT DID YOU HAVE TO GO THAT FAR?
Lately, I’m not quite sure why all the most interesting things in my life have happened on the NYC subway, yet time after time I’m faced with a situation that I find all but unbelievable. My guess is it’s because most often I ride my bike to work. Avoiding any kind of human contact, unless of course you consider the thousands of assholes in their cars that approach me and my motorcycle with complete disregard. Nonetheless, it’s my job to worry about them being assholes while I am breathing the fresh air of freedom.
This particular rainy afternoon I boarded the train in order to avoid rain spots on my prized Harley-Davidson. Several stops go by as I begin to silently sing Ratt songs to myself. The doors open. In walks what looks like it’s most likely a woman; who’s presence is instantly noted by everyone on the train. She sits down next to me on an all but abandoned seat which would comfortably hold 2 others had she not been extremely overweight. She made her way onto the bench I was sitting on taking up more room than any normal two people would have consumed. As the rock n roll was blasting away in my headphones I noticed that nearly every person on the train was all but starring at what I assumed was a girl sitting next to me.
I played it cool. At first that is. Eventually my eyes had to glance to my right to see what the big deal was, besides the fact that she was a very BIG deal. She was covered in tattoos. But not the type of tattoos that my bartender, semi-functional addict friends have. They looked almost like prison tattoos. Her swollen left hand read “Only God Can Judge Me” in what looked like a stick-and-poke style that she could have quite possibly been her own doing.
A couple of stops go by and I can’t help but notice the children across are more interested in the large woman than they are their video game machine that I’m sure was acquired after much begging and assurance that this was the most important thing in their lives. That’s the thing about children, you can learn so much from their innocence.
The fat woman had garnered more attention than the video game that they could not live without. What was she doing that was so interesting? I glanced again.
She had a tattoo on her face. A cross just under her left eye. As she counted her money ($27 dollars in total) she separated two single dollar bills for something which had just become the most important thing in everyone in commutes lives.
If this woman was not obese, overweight to the point where she took up two men’s seats on the subway train, would she have gotten a tattoo on her face??
I believe in the good lord as much as anybody. In fact I feel like I have a fairly good relationship with the lord, but I find it hard to believe that if Jesus Christ were alive today that he would ask his followers to tattoo a cross on their faces.
I couldn’t help but think if this woman were skinny, the tattoo would have never happened. The fact that she was hundreds of pounds over weight made her want to give people a reason to look at her other than the fact that she’s enormous. What went through her mind on countless sleepless nights was a way to make people look at her other than her being fat. Her solution was to tattoo her face. What are you more likely to tell your friends about? Seeing a fat woman on the train, or seeing a woman with a tattoo on her fucking face in public?
The tattoo on her face was her way of dealing with being fat.
A new pair of running shoes and a reason to live are a much better decision.
July 18, 2012
PRODUCT REVIEW
As made famous by Ryan Hall, the Asics Hyper Speed 5 lives up to its name. While in the market for a very lightweight trainer with some substance to it, I was most impressed by the $65 price tag on these bad boys.
I strapped them on for an 8 mile threshold run. 4 mile warm up followed by 3 miles at 1/2 marathon pace and 1 mile, well, fast as hell.
As a firm believer that “breaking-in” running shoes is a waste of time, these shoes were the exception. The toe box is very narrow and small, which works well for me, but my right big toe was bumping the front of the shoe to the point where I nearly stopped to adjust the laces. By mile 4 they had loosened up and I felt as though I was running barefoot with a few cotton balls glued to the bottom of my feet.
My guess is they wont be much good for more than 150-200 miles, making the price tag relative, but at half the price of a clunky thick soled shoe, it’s worth putting these no-nonsense “minimal” shoes in your rotation assuming you don’t have wide feet.
Looking for something light way that wont blow out your knees? Try these fuckers. The price is right.
I give them a 4.5 out of 5.
Note: These could be worn for a full marathon or a distance race if you are feeling on top of your game and extremely lean, but I wouldn’t recommend them for long training runs. Optimal for a 1/2 marathon race, speed/threshold training, and occasional mid-distance easy training runs. Not recommended as your only running shoe. This is a really kick ass #3 shoe.
July 14, 2012
IT’S NICE WORK AND YOU CAN GET IT
I’ve come to terms with the fact that in order to run as much as I’d like to I have to make financial sacrifices. Running is much more than a hobby. It’s a full time job with a really shitty salary. But as with any job, if you don’t show up for work just one day, you paycheck will suffer at the finish line.
It’s one saving grace is that it it’s relatively inexpensive. Yes, the weekly races to add up, especially living in a big city where the races are anywhere from $25-$250. Although there are always non-sanctioned or smaller races that cost no more than a few bucks. And of course there’s the weekly yoga and spin classes to subsidize all the milage and protect my knees, hips, and ancles from injury, but who’s counting. Other than that, it’s a new pair of shoes every 300 miles and you’re out the door making yourself a better person.
Over a year ago I basically quit my job in order to run more and I don’t regret it one bit. As the saying goes, do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. It just so happens that what I love, doesn’t pay the bills, and frankly, I don’t give a shit.
July 12, 2012
I’M GIVING BIRTH AGAIN!
We’re gearing up for the paperback! It will have an actual “diet” section. I’ve learned through this whole process that people actually DO want to be told what to do and I have no problem telling you, therefore the paperback will have an actual “diet” section on how you can lose weight while drinking! It will also have a different cover. I’m working hard on it and very excited about it! 8 More months!!
July 10, 2012
LÜC’S MAILBOX
Message: Hey Luc, I have my first triathlon this Sunday, I was wondering if you have any suggestions for what time to eat before the race, what would be a good breakfast, and also what kind of training I should be doing this week? Should I be going full throttle, or do I do half-assed work outs to stay loose?
Thanks
Louie
Hey bro!
Eat exactly 2 hours before the start. Sip water continuously until 1 hour before the start and take a piss right before you walk to the start. Make sure you take a big shit somewhere in this 2 hours. Thats imparitive.
Eat the same breakfast you always eat.
Half ass is not the term but you should be about 50% this week. 75% last week.
Good luck and stay strong!
July 7, 2012
IT MUST BE DONE!
Scheduled for 12 miles on what was scheduled to be the hottest day of the year, no matter how early the alarm rings it’s not early enough. Even at 5:00am it was to be 80+ degrees, so what’s the point in waking up early? My plan was was to try to make it 6 outside and 6 on the treadmill in the air conditioning where a human being can actually get some oxygen in their lungs. After hitting the snooze on my Harley alarm clock about 17 times, I finally woke up and strapped my shoes on.
At the last minute I decided to hit the park which, after one loop and a trip back to my house would put me at 7 miles leaving me 5 more to tackle at the gym across the street on the well ventilated treadmill. On the way to the park, empty stomach, water in hand (which was cold 3 minutes prior when I bought it), I decided it was a good idea to do the bottom loop of the park a second time, tacking on another 2 miles before heading back home.
Aside from the first two hot, shitty miles of the run, I found myself feeling very strong. Healthy, confident, determined. I arrived at my front door after a solid 9 miles and opened my mailbox to retrieve my phone and headphones to hit the last 3 miles indoors at the gym under the comfort of conditioned air. I cranked up Ozzy’s Boneyard and blasted through 3 miles wishing I had more time to sneak in a couple more on my way out the door to the Met’s game.
I’ve done about four days of living in one Saturday, so I must bid you good night.
Happy running.
July 6, 2012
HOW TO KEEP A MAN
Ok Ladies, do you want to know the secret to keeping your man around for life?
Make him fat.
When we’re happy we get fat. When we get fat other women aren’t attracted to us and we’re too lazy to go out looking for them anyway.
Although this method will backfire when he looks in the mirror one day and no longer see the sexy guy he used to be.
Keep his belly full and his running shoes on and you’ll live happily ever after!
July 4, 2012
NEW QUOTE
“His enthusiasm is infectious, and you are basically hearing him talk through the page. That’s a rarity for any writer to achieve.”
4TH OF JULY SPECIAL!
Get a SIGNED copy of The Drunk Diet (Hardcover or Audio, your choice) and a T-Shirt for $25 with shipping!
Send $25 via PayPal to shop@drunkdiet.com
Don’t forget to include your Tshirt Size in the email!!
Happy 4th of July!
July 3, 2012
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope seems hardly worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride you are taking.”
-Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
