Lüc Carl's Blog, page 6

HOW TO GET YOUR GIRL TO GIVE YOU A SELFLESS ORGASM

Bring her bacon in the bathtub.

GUNS N ROSES GEAR UP FOR BIDS ON EBAY

Axl’s Roses are selling off old gear in order to “make room for new tour gear.” They will be releasing more items periodically and are not honoring any requests to autograph the equipment.

Check out the listings HERE

 

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ROCK N ROLL Vs. TOMMY HILFIGER

Rock n roll is an anomaly in that it is the only art form that is to be produced and reproduced by its original creator in order to bring forward any sort of demand or income.

When Tommy Hilfiger designs a new t-shirt, it is mass produced by machines and people acting as machines in a warehouse. In pop music, a hot young tart is chosen to sing a song written by a man in a studio with meatball stains on his shirt until her legs acquire too much cellulite to be concealed by fishnet stalkings.

Yet when a man with long hair and a guitar writes a hit song, he is expected to reproduce that moment over and over again each and every night for the rest of his life with the same men that were involved in the original writing process. If a new guitar player is brought in to reproduce what a previous guitar player created, despite not having written the actual song, the product is now worth significantly less and the venue becomes smaller which creates a downward spiral of a man forced to hold on to a 5 minute period of time in which the world thought he was amazing, and re-live it over and over again in order to make a living. Thus making him the Tommy Hilfiger, the Machine, and the Man acting as a Machine all rolled into one.

And you ask why the world hasn’t had a rockstar since 1991?

NEW YORK ROAD RUNNERS BRONX 10 MILE

What a beautiful morning for a run!

I knocked 3 minutes off my 10 mile PR in 6 months with a 1:10:27 (7:03 pace) to finish 337th overall in a crowd of nearly 6000. I’d love to sit here and chat about how I did it with early mornings, discipline, threshold runs, high milage, yoga, track work and 5Ks, but I’m tired as fuck and it’s time for a cold shower and a hot nap.

Thanks for checking in with me! I’ll see you on the streets.

WHY IS METAL FOR LOSERS?

This commercial is actually hysterical, and I’m happy to see Slayer getting 900,000 hits on youtube, but why is the metal head portrayed as a loser that lives with his mother? I’m a metal head and I’ve got my own apartment. I even have my own motorcycle. And my own car. And they’re bought and paid for. So fuck you.

 

LÜC ON OZZY’S BONEYARD

I’m filling in Mornings on Ozzy’s Boneyard Thursday September 6th through Friday September 21st while @TheKaylaRiley is out of town!

I hope you’re ready for a little whiskey in your coffee!!

My regular schedule will also remain the same.

Hair Nation 39 – Weeknights

Ozzy’s Boneyard 38 – Weekend Nights

Let’s do this!

Ozzy’s Boneyard

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PRODUCT REVIEW: BONK BREAKER

Just as in every industry, in the world of GUs and Energy Bars they’ll do whatever they have to  do to sell sell sell.

There is much confusion for novice runners in this area. I see many overweight men doing an afternoon jog with 5 water bottles and 17 GUs attached to their belt and I think to myself, do you really need MORE added weight to slow you down? Your gut has enough energy built in to get you wherever you need to go. Nonetheless, the old adage “whatever it takes” takes precedence here.

Everyone is different. If you feel like you need to eat 18 GUs on a 12 mile run, go for it. Personally, I don’t touch any sort of nourishment other than water unless I’m going over 16 miles. At which point I may take one or two GUs with me. And on a 20 miler I might actually eat them.

The higher my milage gets, the more I actually need to think about feeding myself during runs, and right now my milage is pretty damn high. As much as I enjoy strong drink, when it comes to food I really do try to eat healthy. (Although that doesn’t always keep me from over-eating healthy).

The problem: GUs are filled with all sorts of fake ingredients that you’ve never heard of. Stuff that was made in a lab and can probably be found in Mountain Dew. My quest brought me to a product called Bonk Breaker. I tried it last Saturday on a 21 miler and I loved it. It really brought me back to life. Baked and shipped daily, these bad boys are not filled with preservatives and HFCS like many other energy bars which have now replaced 3 Musketeers in many grocery store check-out isles.

Complaints: I wish these came in a resealable bag. Something easily closed while running so that I could eat it in shifts. It’s very difficult to get anything down while running and I’d like the option of putting it back in my pocket rather than carrying it with me for 3 miles. Also, the price is a bit high. I think I paid something like $4.50 at City Sports. Although they don’t have much competition and can basically charge whatever they want, (and I’m sure production costs are high as demand is not), in the grand scheme of things it’s only a few cents more for a gigantic footlong from Subway.

Pros: Who doesn’t love peanut butter? I have in fact made my own peanut butter and jelly sandwich with one piece of bread folded into 1/4 and shoved into the key pocket of my shorts in the past. These guys basically figured out a way to do that for me and charge me 400X’s the price.

Hint: By the 6 Pack Sampler on their website. With shipping it works out to just under $3 per bar.

Unless I stumble upon something new and fabulous in one of my many trips to the running store, I think I’ll be using these fuckers for runs over 18 miles for the time being.

CLICK HERE to check out their website. 

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LEAVE YOUR WATCH AT HOME

On your next recovery run, leave you watch, your Garmin, your iphone, your mayan calendar at home and let your legs set the pace.

Sometimes it’s not about competition. Setting a new record to write down in your journal, texting  all of your friends after a grueling bout with the road, sitting in an ice bath, pushing yourself to the limit. Sometimes, you just want to run.

There’s nothing like a nice long recovery run without a care in the world. Leave your watch at home and get reacquainted with running. It’s the same as it was when you were fat, you’re the one that’s changed.

 

DID YOUR CHICK STOP LAUGHING AT YOUR JOKES?

It’s time to give her an orgasm.

 

RUN TO DRINK

Monday September 17th join Team Drunk Diet for an 8.5 mile run over all 3 bridges of lower Manhattan!

Start is at the Brooklyn War Memorial off Tillary and Cadman Plaza West/East

Check in at 7:30pm – Race starts at 8:30pm

Run an 8.5 mile course over the Brooklyn, Manhattan, and Williamsburg Bridges

End at St. Jerome 155 Rivington where all runners will drink on our tab

$12 Advance – $15 Day Of Race

Runners Of All Levels Welcome!

There will be a Bag Check! All bags delivered to the bar. (Lost shit is not our problem)

CLICK HERE to sign up!