Mike Lester's Blog, page 6

Saturday Sinema #31 - A Quiet Place To Kill (aka Paranoia)

What do you get when you put Carroll Baker behind the wheel of a Formula-1 race car? You get fucking cinematic awesomeness. Then what do you get when you add Jean Sorel, the Côte d'Azur, sun, sea, murder, and plenty of J&B, all under the direction of auteur genius Umberto Lenzi? You get a celluloid orgasm, that's what. So it seems Sorel and Baker had a past, and as usual, Baker's character is nuttier than a goddamned PayDay bar. After she wipes out on the track and has to hang up her helmet, she decides to stay at Jean's pad to recuperate. His new wife doesn't seem to mind the setup at all. It's only when Sorel's naughty little stepdaughter shows up that things get sticky. Needless to say there's plenty of double-crossing and back-stabbing going on, quite literally. A great giallo from Lenzi at the peak of his career. So go mix your favorite poison and kick back. If you haven't seen this one yet, I envy you. Early on in the film one character says, "I call this my whiskey stop," and soon, hopefully, you will too.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiWet...

Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afBM7...

The bitch never knocks...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPnPp...

For more on the wild world of Carroll Baker:






Go to www.saturdaysinema.com if you dare...

Saturday Sinema #30 - The Legendary Curse of Lemora

They say life imitates art, or is it that art imitates life? Hell, I can't remember. It's like the whole "starve a fever, feed a cold" thing; I can never remember that shit. Anyway, it seems innocent young Lila Lee's daddy is a complete fuck up. He gets his ass handed to him by Lemora and her gang of vampires, who then decide to lure Lila to their pad. Lila takes the bait, and after a bus ride in which she's hassled by feral albinos, she finds she's been tricked by Lemora (who has her own nefarious needs) into coming. Not only does Lila have to deal with feral albinos, there's also creepy kids, funky pilgrim vampires, and a sneaker-wearing, nursery rhyme chanting old hag with a fucked sense of humor...not to mention rug muncher Lemora herself... And strangely enough, the case could be made that this film is a fairytale version of what lead actress Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith had to deal with in Hollywood. Her exterior innocence masked a streetwise inner life that ended far too soon. This film would make a great double feature with Valerie and Her Week of Wonders or any of the Russian fairy tales, like Viy, for instance. Check it out.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDTol...

Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNHMi...

A nice bedtime story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wmroy...

And a bath: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uq2Hz...

Check out www.saturdaysinema.com for more cool shit.

Saturday Sinema #29 - The Blood Spattered Bride

Hot damn! Lesbian vampires! Susan is an unstable young bride, prone to rape fantasies. Her husband is a complete asshole. She freaks on their wedding night and puts the kabosh on their honeymoon plans. So, they do what any young couple in dire straits does; they head to the ancestral family castle. One day on the beach, hubby digs up (literally!) Mircalla, an aloof, naughty bitch who takes a shine to Suzy. Much mayhem ensues, featuring daggers, boobs, and lotsa bush. Loosely based on LeFanu's "Carmilla," this one delivers the goods in spades... Check it out!

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1CA4S...

Full Movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBpS2q...

Don't be a dick - read the book:






For more, check out www.saturdaysinema.com

Saturday Sinema #28 - Messiah Of Evil

They say you can't go home again, but you know, in reality they're full of shit. Sure you can go home again. You can go back anytime you like; okay the place might be swarming with weird cultist cannibals, and you might find some refugees from Club Med crashing in your missing dad's pad, but hey, you're home baby. That's basically what happens to our heroine in this week's flick. Made in 1973, this stylish little film has been unjustly forgotten by the plebes. Part Suspiria, part Lovecraft (the story is loosely based on "The Shadow Over Innsmouth"), the end result is a massive dose of cult horror cool. If you haven't seen this one yet, I highly recommend you kick back for 90 minutes or so and check it out. Plus, it features regular genre barf-blaster Elisha Cook, Jr. doing his usual schtick, and an actress named Joy Bang! Gotta love Joy Bang. Fucking right on, man.

Not sure if any J&B shows up in this one, but keep your eyes peeled, these motherfuckers drink like there's no tomorrow...

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36nKC...

Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzrpF...

More good shit:






Believe it or not, there's even more good shit at www.saturdaysinema.com

Saturday Sinema #27 - City of the Living Dead (Paura Nella Citta' Dei Morti Viventi)

Ho-ly sheeit...Lucio Fulci's back with another pasta-land chunkblower! Back in the early 80s good ole Lucio had a string of hits in the horror genre. They had great titles like The Beyond, Zombie, House by the Cemetery, and The Gates of Hell (aka City of the Living Dead). The ads promised scenes of violence so shocking no one under 18 would be admitted - no matter what; it didn't matter if you had a signed letter from Dr. Phil saying you were mentally ok to check these out - you weren't getting in. So of course I had to see this shit. And what great shit it is! In this one a psychic has a vision of some fucked up priest hanging himself in a town called Dunwich...and what usually happens after a priest hangs himself, does - the gates of hell are thrown open and bad shit comes out. This royally screws the town: dead people cruise the streets and chill in peoples living rooms, brains are plucked from noggins, and one poor bastard ends up having the worst date of his life (you gotta admit, when your girl starts crying blood and literally barfs her guts out, you're not getting laid...). You gotta see this stuff to believe it! Zitto e mangiare!

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiXqd...

Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qq8sT...

Remembering Lucio: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMRiy...

Dig in:




Go to www.saturdaysinema.com for more

Saturday Sinema #26 - The Demon (Il Demonio)

Remember a few weeks back when we watched Possession and I said that Isabelle Adjani was the apex of fucked-upness, and that she was probably the craziest broad ever shot on film? Well, in this week's flick Daliah Lavi plays a contender for that title, and if she's not more fucked in the head than Adjani, she's certainly a runner-up. If this were a game show they'd send her home with some consolation prizes, like a year's supply of Turtle Wax or something. Anyway, seems our favorite dusky beauty Daliah lives in a rural Italian village, you know, the kind where the local priest holds sway. This wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't into casting spells and shit on her ex. He doesn't want anything to do with her, so she does what any other gal would do, shit like licking crucifixes and scuttling about the local church bent over backwards on all fours like a spider - you know, all the usual stuff that broads probably do behind closed doors. This kind of behavior does not sit at all well with the townies, needless to say... Made in 1963, this film was ten years ahead of The Exorcist in showing audiences the kind of crap that goes down when the Pope's crew tussles with a cutter. So grab your rosaries, kick back, and get down with your bad selves. Enjoy!

Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=la8c5...

The lovely Daliah Lavi, layin' it down: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiUl_...

Check this shit out:

Saturday Sinema #25 - Death Laid An Egg

Smooth motherfucker Jean Louis Trintignant is back for this week's flick, and once again he finds himself in another sticky love triangle. He's married to Gina Lollobrigida and doing Ewa Aulin on the side. What a cad, God bless 'im. He also runs a chicken factory. Anyway, seems he was witnessed murdering a young filly at a roadside hotel. The bummer for him is that the witness is a business partner of his... If Jean-Luc Godard and Luis Bunuel got freaky and had a baby, that baby would have grown up to make this movie. This giallo casts aside the usual genre cliches - there simply isn't another film quite like this one. The only one that comes close is A Quiet Place in the Country, and even that one seems linear in comparison. I mean, what other giallo features "playboy poultry in smoking jackets, at a poultry party?" Yep. So go get an 8 piece bucket of KFC and kick back, this is one strange flick.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsrEa...

Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jaztl...

A to Z of giallo cliches: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3slP...

Ewa Aulin, finger lickin' good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye7Uw...

Stop fucking around, read this:







Come on, live a little: www.saturdaysinema.com

Saturday Sinema #24 - Eugenie De Sade

Young, bored, naughty little thing Soledad Miranda rummages through her step-daddy's library one rainy day and finds his stash of sadomasochistic porn. She digs it and gets all squishy. This makes Daddy happy, natch. Pretty soon, they decide to get their kicks together by picking up wayward waifs and filming them engaged in various activities...and then one thing leads to another, so to speak. Filmed in 1970, this is one of only a handful of films Jess Franco made with the lovely Soledad Miranda (here using her Susan Korda alias) very shortly before her tragic death on a Lisbon highway. This was an especially prolific period for old Jess; the films he shot with Miranda have a dream-like magic impossible to duplicate. This, one of their lesser-known efforts, proves true the old adage that the family that fucks and kills together, stays together.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MG74V...

Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PNe9...

Get some:






Don't be a dick, go to www.saturdaysinema.com

Saturday Sinema #23 - Valerie And Her Week Of Wonders

Ah springtime...a time of awakening in which a fine layer of pollen covers everything and the air is teeming with birdsong and the sound of one thousand hymens snapping. So what better time to watch this weeks flick? I tell ya, nobody can capture the other-worldliness of the fairytale like those Eastern European filmmakers, especially those goddamned Russians. I'm thinking of films like Sadko, Viy, and others. But this weeks number comes from Czech director Jaromil Jires, and if you haven't seen it before I suggest you settle all your shit, turn off your phone, pop a cool one, and kick back with the lights off while you absorb this strange tale. The action kicks off when a young Amish Woody Allen playfully steals Tori Amos' earrings one night. From there we dive into the world of a young girl on the cusp of womanhood and all the fucked up shit pulsing through her hormonal life. There's vampires, creepy priests, a strange gang of self-flagellating ruffians, you know, all the usual stuff young girls fantasize about. This is probably what Ingmar Bergman's bedtime stories were like. So sit back, relax, and enjoy. Let the work week slide off you like mercury and step into another world. This is good shit. Dig it.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPyPE...

Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PYK0...

Joe Dante on Valerie (from the awesome Trailers From Hell site): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5YJx...

Read the book, homey:





To find complete enlightenment go to www.saturdaysinema.com

Saturday Sinema #22 - Tenebrae (aka Unsane, aka Shadow)

It's amazing the consequences one well-placed kick in the balls can have. I mean, in this week's flick just such a kick leads directly to the deaths of several people. That's fucked up. If ever a movie proved the viability of chaos theory, this is it. Dario Argento directed this stylish giallo in 1982 when he was still on top of the mountain, so to speak. All of his trademarks are featured in this one: beautiful women, multiple plot twists, dementia, murders bordering on abstract art (there's one nasty axe murder where the walls are literally painted red with a splash of arterial spray), and bravura cinematography (one sequence features a single continuous take where the camera prowls up and over a townhouse, peeking in windows as it goes, mimicking the killer's movements as he looks for a way in). Watching this triumph only leads me to one question: Dario Argento, what the fuck happened, man? Come back, come back, come back...

Oh, yeah, speaking of balls, Tony Franciosa must have balls of steel. Check out the way he rides his ten speed in New York traffic at the beginning. Holy shit man! An Oscar worthy stunt if ever there was one...

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2pKt...

Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOkcI...

John Saxon's hat trick: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OZ3E...

Buy this amazing fucking poster: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3K2o...

For more on Dario Argento and his amazing career, read this:






To completely blow your load, go to www.saturdaysinema.com