Beth K. Vogt's Blog, page 4

Choosing Not To Let Stress Run Our Lives

@bethvogt

I’ve been in an ongoing tug-of-war with stress … and right now stress is winning.

I stared at that sentence and considered deleting it, one letter at a time. Choosing another topic for today’s blog.

But I’ll go with the reality that, despite my best efforts to “Go placidly amid the noise and haste” … well, I’m not.

I’m overwhelmed.

I could give you all sorts of reasons why I’m anxious. The one that did me in yesterday was when one of my hearing aids stopped working, effectively cutting my ability to hear by 50%. On the way to the audiologist’s office to get the hearing aid repaired, I found myself crying as I waited for a red light to turn green.

I realized it wasn’t the malfunctioning hearing aid that brought me to tears. It was everything else leading up to that.

Stress is cumulative.

There’s no rewinding when you realize stress is ruling the day and wreaking havoc on your emotions.

But you can push pause. You can make choices that allow you to handle stress better going forward.

The first step for me was this blog: writing it out and recognizing I was allowing stress to run roughshod over me.

Now I have to purpose to make choices that lower my stress instead of adding to it. I can’t change some of my circumstances. But I can change how I respond to what’s happening in my life.

Instead of stress eating – Anybody else reach for sugary snacks when they’re stressed? – I’m repeating out loud, “I am not going to stress eat” and indulging in a lot of fresh fruit. Instead of retreating to naps – although naps can be a good choice, too – I’m determined to keep up my exercise routine and also take walks outside. There’s something rejuvenating about sunshine and fresh air, isn’t there?Instead of getting stuck in my head on a negative thought-track, I’m writing out my prayers in a journal – one with a friendly smiling llama on the cover. Humor always helps, right?Instead of focusing on the stress and the strain – we all carry burdens, don’t we? – I’m looking for joy and reasons to be grateful. We all have reasons to be thankful, too.

No more tug-of-war with stress. Life is demanding a lot of me right now. I’m choosing to be intentional about creating emotional and spiritual breathing space for myself, day by day.

How about you? What helps you navigate stressful circumstances?  

Choosing Not To Let Stress Run Our Lives https://bit.ly/3pd4THg #stress #choices
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'Don't believe every worried thought you have. Worried thoughts are notoriously inaccurate.' #Quote by Renee Jain https://bit.ly/3pd4THg #worry #perspective
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Leaning Into Grace As Life Goes On

@bethvogt

My youngest daughter Christa is having ankle surgery today.

Surgery and rehabbing her ankle were not part of her original plan for the summer. I talked about how her Plan A fell apart in my blog post “Why Can We Be Hopeful When Our Plans Fall Apart?”

Christa got through the last weeks of her spring semester at Bethel University (Minnesota) wearing one of those big black boots on her right foot – y’all know what I mean. She said when you’re wearing one you notice all the other people wearing them, too. It’s like how motorcyclists wave to one another when they pass each other on the highway.

She finished the volleyball season … on the sidelines, running the scoreboard. But, hey, she was with her team, and she had fun.

Christa hasn’t driven a car since the middle of April, which meant her boyfriend drove her back and forth to work – or to Starbucks – and other friends filled in when he couldn’t. (Thank you, Kiernan. Thank you, Katelyn.)

We’re all ready for her to be on the other side of surgery and commence with rehab. I don’t like the fact no one can be with her during pre-op or post-op – neither does her dad or her boyfriend, who arrived in Colorado yesterday to help her recuperate for the next week. But like so many other people who’ve had to have medical procedures during this crazy time of COVID, there’s absolutely nothing we can do about the “no family allowed” restriction.

 

Christa was going to write today’s blog post. A bad headache foiled that plan because we insisted she go to bed and be ready for surgery today. She wanted to write about how when things fall about, God catches you when you’re falling.

That truth is what’s gotten her through everything life has demanded of her since she was injured in mid-April.

She has a wonderful way with words, so stay tuned for her post later this summer.

 

Leaning into Grace as Life Goes On https://bit.ly/3ujn3Idn #challenges #hope
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'In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.' #quote by poet Robert Frost https://bit.ly/3ujn3Id #perseverance #perspective
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Choosing to Keep Christmas All the Year … or Not

@bethvogt

It’s time to take down our Christmas tree.

I know, I know, some of you are thinking, “It’s long past time to take that tree down, Beth!”

After Christmas, my husband Rob decided we needed light in our lives. Keeping our Christmas tree up was a perfect way to accomplish that. We also left our Christmas star up outside and the white lights on our big evergreen tree near our garage. I also left out one lighted glass snowman I named “Hope.” There’s something about getting up in the morning and plugging in hope … symbolic, yes?

Rob declared we’d keep the tree and the lights up until we no longer needed to wear masks to guard against COVID-19. This week, Rob looked at me and said, “It’s time to take the tree down.”

“What?”

“The CDC decision about not having to wear masks if you’re vaccinated? We can take the Christmas tree down now.”

Oh.

 (And no, this is not a post about choosing to be vaccinated or not.)

 I’ve gotten used to the Christmas tree sitting in the family room corner. To be honest, some days we turn it on first thing in the morning. Some days we don’t. We noticed just the other day that some of the lights burned out on the top of the tree.

Hope, though? I rarely miss turning on the smiling glass snowman. I need that reminder of hope. Every. Single. Day.

I’m not so sure I want to take the Christmas tree down. The whole “you don’t have to wear masks” mandate is muddled, if you ask me. There are a lot of caveats to it, a lot of “Ifs,” “mights,” and “stills.”

The reason for the tree remans: wanting more light in our lives.

Maybe it’s not about taking the tree down.

Maybe it’s about replacing those burned out lights with some new ones. Reminding ourselves why we left the Christmas tree up to begin with. Asking ourselves if we’re seeking the Light each day … being grateful for the Light … looking for opportunities to be light for others.

 

 

Choosing to Keep Christmas All the Year ... or Not https://bit.ly/33UPvFF #hope #perspective
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'I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year.' #quote by Charles Dickens https://bit.ly/33UPvFF #perspective #hope
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Choosing to Embrace a Season of Waiting

Life often seems so much about doing, doesn’t it?

 We make our To Do lists, either before we go to bed at night or first thing in the morning. Maybe you like S.M.A.R.T. goals or a bullet planner or a yellow legal pad to organize all that you have to accomplish.

Then there are the seasons of waiting.

Waiting for something as simple as an email. A package to be delivered. Or something more significant like waiting for a diagnosis — one that allows a sigh of relief or one that prompts the question, “What do we do next?”

We’re not always waiting on someone else’s action.

Sometimes we’re waiting on ourselves.

I’m in such a season right now. I have a decision to make, but it’s the kind of decision that can’t be rushed.

On the surface, the situation I’m facing seems to require a simple yes or no answer from me.

But there are too many questions that have to be answered before I can determine my answer. There are other people besides me who will be affected by my answer.

I’m sifting the situation through my values – thank you, Wise Guy – because whatever I choose has to align with what I believe in. Things like honesty and family and trust. I also never rush a decision if there’s no clear direction forward.

I’ve come to realize that waiting isn’t inaction.

Have you ever seen chess players study their chess pieces during a game? They’re not only pondering they’re next move, but also considering possible future moves, as well as their opponent’s moves. Of course, they can’t know with certainty what the person sitting across from them might choose to do. But they wait. Consider. Weigh their options. And make the wisest choice they can.

Pivotal life decisions are certainly more important than moves on a chess board. It’s true we can’t know how someone else will react to our choices, our actions. All the more reason to be confident in our decisions.

Waiting – prayerfully, patiently – is sometimes the wisest of options.

Choosing to Embrace a Season of Waiting https://bit.ly/33CnGBW #encouragement #hope
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'Waiting does not mean doing nothing. Waiting is a time of listening.' Quote by author Lisa Clements. https://bit.ly/33CnGBW #waiting #perspective
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Why Can We Be Hopeful When Our Plans Fall Apart?

@bethvogt

I love it when a plan comes together, don’t you? (Yes, an obvious nod to the A-Team.)

And when a plan doesn’t?

I scramble to scoop up all the falling apart pieces into my hands. Wanting to find a way to make my original plan work.

It was a good plan – or so I thought.

I’m not wrong. A plan falling apart doesn’t mean the plan wasn’t good.

My youngest daughter Christa made plans to live on campus this summer. She’d live in a dorm with her roommate, who also happens to be her bestie. Work a job. Work a budget. Experience a different type of independence from the go-to-classes and go-to-volleyball practice life they experience during college semesters.

A good, well-thought-out, prayed-over plan.

Then Christa was injured during volleyball practice in April.

Now her original plan for the summer has been replaced with a new one that includes ankle surgery, which means coming home to Colorado after finals and a summer of rehab.

A good plan replaced by the needed plan.

We’re still staring at the pieces of the original plan as we put together the new plan.

Back to my original thought: plans can be good … and still fall apart.

Because of accidents.

Because of someone else’s choices that somehow, someway, trump our choices.

Because sometimes, well, we simply change our mind.

God didn’t cause the accident that changed Christa’s plans for the summer. In the midst of all this redirection caused by an accident on the volleyball court, I’m remembering how often I’ve run across Proverbs 16:9 in recent weeks: “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.”

 God does have an overarching plan for my daughter’s life – a good one – and his plan won’t be stopped by this unexpected disruption to her summer plans. Philippians 1:6 NIV tells me: “… being confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Why Can We Be Hopeful When Our Plans Fall Apart? https://bit.ly/3nQWVmC #expectations #faith
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'If plan A doesn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters - 204 if you're in Japan.' Quote by Claire Cook https://bit.ly/3nQWVmC #changes #hope
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Choosing to Appreciate Now

@bethvogt

I’ve had a wind chime hanging in my office for years.

I know, I know – wind chimes belong outside, not inside.

I found this wind chime at a craft show, fascinated by the crafter’s display. Two copper tubes, along with a thin piece of agate, are suspended from a piece of burnt wood retrieved from one of Colorado’s wildfires.

Intriguing, right?

I bought the wind chime because I was drawn to the artist’s creativity. How she saw past what the fire destroyed and transformed charred wood and copper, wire, and a thin piece of stone, into something that changes wind into music.

I’ve kept my wind chime protected in my office because, well, it’s so beautiful. I didn’t want weather – rain, wind, snow – to mar it.

Yesterday I ran across these words by Lori Hetten, a poet and artist: “As a general rule, very few things ought to be saved for later.”

I’ve never used my wind chime as it was meant to be used. I made a wrong choice. What’s a wind chime for if not to make music in all of the seasons? How much music have I missed in my misguided attempt to protect a work of art?

Yes, the artist made something beautiful … but she also made something functional. Something meant to sway in the breeze … something to be played by the wind.

My husband is hanging my wind chime outside our front door as I write this blog post – and yes, there’s a storm coming.

I’ll listen for the first notes of the songs it wants to sing to me … embrace the beauty … and anticipate all the melodies to come.

What about you? Is there something you’re saving for a special occasion? Keeping it wrapped up, boxed up, for some who-knows-when-it-will-happen day to come?

Might I suggest you consider using the china tea cups? The lace tablecloth? The heirloom vase? Treasure the special memories while making some of your own.

Choosing to Appreciate Now https://bit.ly/32RIEfJ #perspective #today
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'Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Being alive is the special occasion.
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Why We Need to be Encouraged by Honest, Trusted Friendships

@bethvogt

I just spent three days in Florida with a group of writing friends and I’m once again reminded how friendship strengthens our hearts.

Our time was bookended on both sides with hugs, mixed with liberal doses of encouragement and insight and lots of laughter.

Getting together took planning and effort and yes, it cost us financially, too. But we all came home with our writing dreams renewed and our hearts refreshed.

That kind of friend-to-friend inspiration is priceless.

Each one of us has battled the less than mentality that has stretched through 2020 and into 2021. It’s affected our families and our careers. We’ve dealt with can’t and shouldn’t and loss and yes, fear.

During the past months, we’ve stayed connected through daily texts and phone calls and emails. We’ve listened to one another, prayed for one another, and cheered one another on.

Still, there’s nothing like being with friends who’ve known you for years. Who share like-minded dreams. Talking face-to-face. Dreaming out loud. Listening to one another. Brainstorming about book ideas and marketing. Walking along the beach and taking photos. Sitting back and being silent … and thankful.

When we’re younger, friendship can be, well, a bit self-centered. It’s often more about what we can get from our friends. Status, maybe. Or security.

As we get older – and if we’re wise – we’re more aware of the sacred give-and-take of friendship. We lean into all that our friends have to offer us – and all we can offer our friends.

Why We Need to be Encouraged by Honest, Trusted Friendships https://bit.ly/32uPd7E
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'Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you; spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life.' Quote by actress Amy Poehler https://bit.ly/32uPd7E #friendship #encouragement
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Choosing to Believe in More Than Fairytales

@bethvogt

I was the little girl who loved to get lost in books.

I loved fairy tales.

The magic of them.

No matter the dark forests to be traversed or dragons to be battled or evil queens to be outwitted, each story had a fantastical happy ending.

The authors of those stories, with their imaginary characters and magical overcoming of obstacles, of hardships, allowed me to escape.

Don’t we all want to escape sometimes?

I did.

A child living with abuse first longs for protection.

Not finding that, a child longs for escape.

For a time, a child wants to know why, but then stops asking questions. In all honesty, there aren’t any answers that will ever make sense of abuse.

If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know I don’t talk in detail about my history of abuse.

Why not? Because that was me then, this is me now.

But I’m writing this blog because I’m sitting here awake, praying over the heartache of someone I love.

One step the wrong way and I could sink into my past like so much emotional quicksand. Abuse is like that – always ready to overwhelm you with the tragedy of it all if …

… if you focus on the wound that was inflicted instead of the healing.

Abuse is a particularly deadly snare because it invalidates you. At its very core, abuse of any kind, be it physical or sexual abuse, says, “You are not worth kindness. Or love. Or respect.”

When abuse happens at a young age, it undermines your sense of worth for years to come, affecting your relationship with others and with God.

Is healing from abuse possible? Yes. Thank you, God, yes.

Healing is a hard, hard road to walk. You have to choose to exchange deeply engrained lies for stronger truths. To establish healthier boundaries after having your boundaries obliterated by people you should have been able to trust.

Healing isn’t magical. There’s no pixie dust. No appearance of a fairy godmother waving a magic wand and chanting, “Bibbidy-bobbidy-boo.”

The deepest, truest healing is supernatural. Anchored to the Truth.

That’s what I cling to tonight, even as my heart aches for someone else taking their first, faltering steps toward healing.

There is hope. There is healing.

If anyone ever asks me why I believe in God – this is why. He’s seen me through an overwhelming heartache, and pieced my broken heart back together again.

And He will do the same for anyone else.

 

Choosing to Believe in More Than Fairytales https://bit.ly/3siZtKC #hope #healing
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'Notice the word 'hope'... The Hebrew term literally means 'a cord, as an attachment.' Every one of us is hanging on to something or someone for security ...
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Choosing not to Fix Our Struggles with Nice Thoughts

@bethvogt

When I was a child and had trouble falling asleep because I’d had a bad dream, my mom would sit beside my bed and comfort me by telling me to think nice thoughts.

I’d remember swimming in the lake in Vermont during a family vacation. Or winning the class spelling bee. Or playing outside in the rain with the neighborhood kids.

Thinking nice thoughts worked until I grew up and confronted scarier life issues that loomed larger than any nice thoughts I could think.

Yesterday, I talked with a friend who is facing something hard. Something heartbreaking. The kind of situation that steals your breath away and makes everything else in life unimportant.

You can’t fix what’s wrong by thinking nice thoughts.

In the last month, I’ve kept running across the same Bible verse at random times. When I read the same verse in all sorts of different places, I’m reminded once again that, in God’s economy, nothing is random.

“These things I have spoken to you so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NASB

In context, Jesus is talking to His disciples and He tells them straight up they are going to have tough times.

It might have been nice if Jesus had offered a lighter, brighter message, but I prefer honesty.

After saying the world would have tribulation in it, Jesus didn’t say, “Think nice thoughts.” No. He said to be brave. The courage we need to endure suffering and pain and trials demands a whole lot more than conjuring up nice thoughts about fun times.

When I was talking with my friend about her situation, she said, “I know other people are dealing with hard things too. Harder things.”

As if she had no right to be rocked by the turmoil in her life because someone else’s situation was tougher than hers – worse than hers.

The comparison game is always a trap, and it’s never more dangerous than when we are hurting and begin to compare our pain to someone else’s. Believing the lie that we can’t express how we feel because our trouble is somehow less significant than another person’s struggle undermines our courage.

How can we be brave, how can we embrace the peace God offers us, if we feel we don’t deserve it? Or if we believe someone else deserves it more than we do?

Our struggles should never to be lined up against one another and weighed and measured. Instead, let’s accept when we need encouragement and prayer, knowing there’ll be a time when we provide it for someone else. And never forget that God promises us His peace.

Choosing not to Fix Our Struggles with Nice Thoughts https://bit.ly/3wwwmXz #faith #encouragement
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'Fear may fill our world, but it doesn't have to fill our hearts.' Quote by @MaxLucado #hope #courage
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How Do We Find Hope When Our Life Doesn’t Go According to Our Plan?

Has your life ever not gone according to your plans?

Some of you are thinking, “Really, Beth? You’re asking me that?”

Life rarely goes according to our plans.

We all experienced the upheaval of the COVID pandemic in 2020, and we’re still affected by it just over a year later.

The life we plan for ourselves gets derailed by all sorts of disappointments.

Illness. Abuse. Divorce. Job loss. Infertility. Betrayal. Closed doors against our longed-for, prayed-for dreams.

Sometimes our plans change through unexpected blessings. The chance to go to college. A promotion.

But then that opportunity leads us to unforeseen events – the loss of long-time relationships or a tyrannical boss.

We desperately want a do-over, but it’s not happening.

I was mulling over how life doesn’t go according to plan when my thoughts collided with, of all things, the upcoming celebration of Easter.

If ever an occurrence in history encapsulates how life can go off the rails, it’s the Easter story. One moment, Jesus is triumphant, entering Jerusalem while the crowd waves palm fronds and shouts, “Hosanna!”

Days later, Jesus is dead. Buried in a borrowed tomb. His befuddled disciples wonder, “What just happened?”

 The disciples had different plans for their rabbi than arrest, conviction, and crucifixion. Yes, they were willing to follow him – but their sights were not set on Golgotha.

Like so many of us when our plans are upended, the disciples gave into fear. They forgot so many things Jesus had said to them and listened to their own “what if” thoughts.

Here’s the most beautiful aspect of the Easter Story: It’s all about life not going according to so many people’s plans – plans that span generations – but still going according God’s plan. Through God’s power, Jesus overcame that desperate moment so that what seemed the ultimate failure became miraculous.

Was there waiting involved? Yes. Friday evening. Saturday. Sunday morning.

Was there loss of hope? Yes. During the waiting, the disciples fought against, and most likely gave into despair.

Was there doubt? Yes. People doubt the truth of the empty tomb to this day.

God is all about taking the worst circumstances, the “why did it have to go this way” events, and turning them into game-changing, life-changing events.

If your life isn’t going the way you want it to right now, then look to Easter.

How Do We Find Hope When Our Life Doesn't Go According to Our Plan https://bit.ly/3frIymz #faith #encouragement
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' ... Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best.' Quote by Unknown https://bit.ly/3frIymz #hope #encouragement
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