Garret Kramer's Blog, page 35

Ten Surprising Concepts that Teams (Organizations, Too) Should Adopt—Starting Now

Due to the nice response I received following my article about the signs of a low state of mind, I thought I would take a crack at another counterintuitive list.

These days, it seems that the same common concepts are stressed over and over in order to ensure team success. But I believe, from pee-wee to pro, that this standard coaching paradigm is simply not bringing out the best in our athletes. For evidence, just look at the erratic behavior of many well-known players. Not to mention that consistent excellence on the field—i.e., dynasties (yes, I am aware of salary caps)—has become a thing of the past.

So, if you and your team, company, or family are after steady achievement, reflect on these ten surprising concepts. Then see if any of them make sense for you.

 

1.     Keep goal-setting to a bare minimum, if instituted at all.

Goal-setting narrows focus, which, contrary to popular opinion, limits opportunities and shrinks the perceptual field (awareness). It’s okay to possess the burning desire to win. In fact, I prefer that teams do. However, because winning has no ability to regulate your happiness or self-worth, relish the journey and experience instead of single-mindedly setting your sights on a title. If you do, the imaginative path to success will become evident on its own.

2.     Recognize and embrace individuality.

Even within team environments, it is essential that individuality be fostered and encouraged. Why? Free will is the number one ingredient to productive behaviors and performances. A person will simply not perform to the best of his or her ability if the person’s inner wisdom (intuition or personal thought system) is compromised.

3.     Limit rules and expectations.

To me, codes of conduct do not work. The inner conflict between what a person thinks is right, and what an organization tells the person is right, binds and confuses all individuals. This bewilderment creates dysfunction. Rather, here’s a freeing alternative: Hold individuals accountable to acting from elevated states of mind and pulling back from deflated states of mind—stop telling them which actions are, or are not, acceptable.

4.     Encourage love for, and respect of, opponents.

Love and respect are the ultimate symptoms of a high level of consciousness—“the zone.” Hate and disrespect are symptoms of the opposite mind-set. So, just ask yourself, “How do I feel when I am not considerate of others, when I resent my opponents, or when I hold them in contempt?” Now why would you ever want your team to perform from this insecure psychological perspective?

5.     Discourage the creation of a pecking order.

When people operate from low levels of well-being, they dwell on their differences. They become insulated and egotistical, and, in a team setting, it often appears that certain members are more valuable than others. Not so. Although roles vary, if you remove one piece from the puzzle the team ceases to be whole and its natural chemistry and functioning become impaired.

6.     Do not stress communication.

Believe it or not, one reason that teams fail is because people overcommunicate. They speak when they are not capable (they are in a low mind-set), and listen when they should not (they are in a low mind-set). Lack of communication is never a real issue. A person’s state of mind when he or she communicates, or he or she does not communicate, is the only key to productive interactions between teammates.

7.     Do not adhere to a specific team “culture.”

When forced to adhere to the edicts of once-successful traditions, ethics, or customs, a team is adopting someone else’s recollection of the way to perform, which has no relevance now. Buying into a culture binds a person’s thinking, thwarts free will, and creates followers who are not capable of coming through in the big moment.

8.     Leave the past in the past.

The past, like a culture, is simply a thought system carried through time. No matter how hard you try, you cannot replicate a former triumph, technique, or feel. They are smoke; they no longer exist. Keep in mind, young players don’t care about the good old days. They intuitively live in the present—don’t lead them away from it.

9.     Drive effort with freedom.

There is a huge difference between hard work and best effort. Yet, teams continue to promote a grind-it-out paradigm that has little to do with success. Achievement is the result of fluent thinking, passion, and freedom. Why, then, when a team isn’t in this mind-set, do coaches preach diligence, desperation, or hard work? If a team isn’t giving its best there’s only one reason: The players are trying to control a natural instinct—effort. The biggest mistake a team can make.

10.    Teach that s tate of mind is relevant, while behavior irrelevant.

This last characteristic is the foundation for the rest of the list. The most clear thinking leaders recognize that judging a person’s behavior serves little purpose. So, since errant behavior spawns from internal suffering or a low state of mind, demonstrate the importance of understanding and supporting all members of your organization—no matter their behavior or how much playing time you give them. Remember, a high level of compassion always leads to a high level of consciousness, and, in turn, a consistently high level of performance.

 

There you have it. I look forward to hearing what you think,

Garret

 

Your Illusionary Past

Can your behavior become habitual? Yes. Can a habitual behavior originate from your past? Definitely. If you are struggling now, should you look to your past as the reason why you feel the way you feel, and for the cure? In my opinion, not for a second.

Indeed, the self-help world strongly disagrees. Virtually all therapists, life coaches, and counselors believe, and have been trained to believe, that conquering former traumas is the key to overcoming current difficulties. One famous self-help professional recently insisted, “The key to finding the truth is to go back to the past, to those haunting times, and resolving former traumas.” Oh boy, where do I begin?

Let’s try simplicity. If people delve into their past in order to explain or fix their current troubles, then they seek answers in the same misinformation that created the troubles in the first place. Or as Sydney Banks once said, “Going back to a troubled past is like putting your hand in a burning fire, pulling it out because it hurt, and then saying, ‘I think I’ll put my hand back in again’.”

The past no longer exists. Why do so many of us look to the past to explain our present troubles?

In short, the past is merely a memory carried through time, a thought. And like all thoughts, the past is not real. So if you attempt to solve your problems in this illusion, you’ll pretty much spin your wheels. As a personal example, for years I couldn’t figure out why at times I lamented my childhood, poor me; yet at other times, I relished it, lucky me. Same childhood, so why did I look at it in such dissimilar ways?

Then, one day I realized that my perception of my past was solely the result of the quality of my thinking and state of mind—which are always changing. Thus, it made no sense to look to my childhood as a concrete circumstance that had the ability to bring me down.

In other words, if I thought about my past one day and it made me miserable, and I thought about my past another day and it made me smile, it had to be something inside of me (my thinking) that was causing my despair or happiness. The past had nothing to do with it.

Your perception of your past is always changing. When you feel down, your past is problematic. When you feel up, your past makes sense.

Now, to be fair, I’m not saying that there are never times when a therapist takes a client back to a former ordeal and the client then finds clarity and feels more at ease. What I’m saying is that when this happens, going back to the past is not the reason. If the client’s thought system and level of consciousness are on the upswing at that moment, he or she will find tranquility no matter what the therapist suggests.

Here’s the bottom line about the past: If it had the ability to lead people to despair, then different individuals who experienced the same traumas would all be suffering now. Plus, your past misfortunes would affect you in the same way at all times. Of course, neither is the case.

To me, the self-help world needs to consider the negative impact of taking a person back to former low states of mind. It energizes and perpetuates suffering. Instead, let’s teach people that they perceive the past from the inside out; that the quality of their thinking and state of mind in the moment create all of their perceptions, including their perceptions of the past. Remember, challenging thoughts about your own life history will occur, but you don’t have to do anything about them—they are illusions—left alone they’ll wither away in no time.

Be Still: Twelve Intuitive Signs of a Low State of Mind

Awareness. That’s the subject of many of the questions I’ve received lately. Readers are wondering about the signs of a low level of awareness, consciousness, or state of mind. As one reader recently asked, “If I’m not seeing life clearly and prone to making poor choices from a low mind-set, then how do I know when I’m low and, therefore, stillpower is the best option?”

Good question. Here are twelve intuitive signs that you’re making decisions, changes, or corrections from a low state of mind and it’s time to ease off the gas and let the mind settle.

 

1.   You notice your thinking.

Productive states of mind are the result of fluent or undetectable thinking. Contentment, consistency, and excellence spawn from intuition or insight—never the intellect.

2.   You feel bound up, anxious, or angry.

Feeling out of options, lacking confidence, and volatility are clear-cut signals that your viewpoint is temporarily blurred. Insecurity is a normal byproduct of the fact that you think (and thus, at times, will ovethink)—it is not related to the events of your life.

3.   You are judgmental of others.

Judgment is the effect of a low state of mind; it has nothing to do with other people or their actions. From a high state of mind, you will have compassion and understanding for the same person whom you judge or disrespect from a low state of mind.

4.   You are blaming your circumstances for the way you feel.

Whether you grasp it or not, all people discern the world from the inside out, not the outside in. The way you feel about your circumstances (past and present) is solely determined by the quality of your thinking—which is always changing. That’s why you’ll perceive the exact same circumstance differently from moment to moment.

5.   You keep looking outside of yourself for answers.

If you are on a constant quest for fulfillment; jumping from relationship to relationship, team to team, school to school, city to city, guru to guru, self-help technique to . . . you get the idea, then you’re only preventing your mind-set from ascending on its own. Remember, if allowed to sit still, a glass of murky water always becomes clear.

6.   You try to think positively.

Negativity is a fundamental and necessary part of the human experience. Those who understand the arbitrary and meaningless nature of thought would never try to change or fix their thinking. If you combat wayward thoughts by trying to override them with positive ones, you will only energize and prolong the negativity.

7.   You are focusing on the illness and not your health.

Waging a continuous battle to overcome your perceived deficits is like fighting a paper tiger. From a high state of mind, we recognize our innate health and empower it; from a low state, we detect illness, and, if we buy in, it becomes the standard.

8.   You take things personally.

When in a low mind-set, we take things to heart; we’re sensitive and defensive. When in a high mind-set, outsiders can’t touch us. It’s okay to feel vulnerable; it will happen as you experience normal fluctuations of consciousness. But don’t forget, your feelings are a barometer of the quality of your thinking, not a barometer of the quality of your life.

9.   You are intimidated or afraid.

Fear is an intuitive signal. When fear is real, we instinctually respond in the moment—with no thought or tension. If you’re thinking about another person or situation and are intimidated, then what you’re thinking is a self-created illusion born from your momentarily low psychological perspective.

10.  You can’t find your passion.

Passion is 100 percent an inside job. We are passionate when our consciousness is elevated; we are passionless when it’s deflated. So, when you lack drive or enthusiasm, don’t look for the explanation in your career or your life. Consider it this way: Young children are passionate and wondrous about everything. Why? Peace of mind and consciousness are their norm.

11.  You believe that you’ll feel better when . . .

External events or milestones have no ability to regulate your level of satisfaction or joy. Your state of mind creates your experience; your experience (fortune, fame, health, or lack thereof) has zero effect on your state of mind.

12.  You are practicing awareness.

Often, this final sign is misunderstood. If you practice awareness, you turn a built-in process into a forced strategy or technique. Thus, your thinking revs up, intuition is stifled, and your perceptual field (options, opportunities, hope) narrows. Understanding that there is a direct connection between your state of mind and your perceptions is the only key to productive decisions.

 

Well, there’s the list. Please feel free to reach out with comments, questions, or your own personal additions.  As always, I look forward to hearing from you.

Thanks for reading,

Garret

 

Your Innate Potential and Mine

Did you know that when you disagree with the actions of another person, and are upset or frustrated, that you possess the potential to quickly get over your errant thinking and mood, to forgive, and to flourish? Whether you want to or not, that’s a different matter.

A few weeks ago, for example, I was stuck on a train of judgmental thoughts. Over and over, my thinking focused on my son’s baseball coach and one of his decisions regarding my son. I disagreed with the coach. And for two days, I went back and forth analyzing why he made this decision. Was he out to show my son who was boss? Had my son not set a good example for his teammates? How was this situation going to affect my son in his future baseball endeavors?

As you can imagine, the more I worked myself into this wayward mind-set, the worse I felt and the further from the truth I ventured.

Rule number 1: If you are upset about and disagree with the actions of another person, and think these actions are the source of your low mood, it’s you who isn’t seeing things clearly.

You see, my issue was not disagreeing with the coach. My issue was attributing my unhappiness to the coach’s conduct, when, in truth, my unhappy feelings originated from my own thoughts—and only my own thoughts.

My point is understanding that your thinking is the sole source of your feelings is the difference between allowing yourself to be a victim of uncontrollable circumstances, and realizing that you are steering the ship. In other words, if you believe that your life situations are in charge—outside in—you exist at the mercy of whatever happens to you; if you know that your thinking is in charge—inside out—you will naturally adapt from within (in spite of what happens to you) in order to maintain your own inner peace.

Now, this is not to say that I’ve grown to like the decision or agree with the coach. But since I realized that the quality of my thinking and state of mind were creating my perception of the matter, I ceased trying to make sense of it from such a low place. Thus, innately, my mood ascended to a perspective where I can make a sound choice about what to do next.

Rule number 2: The potential rests within you, no matter how disturbing a situation looks, to feel different about it—without trying to change it.

So, what did I decide to do next? Write this article, for starters, with the hope that you will profit from my temporarily misguided perception. How did I come to make this choice? Well, I certainly didn’t try to think positively, vent my frustration,  or pretend that I wasn’t  displeased—which would have only added more fuel (thought) to the fire, energizing my current negativity. Instead, I pulled back in the moment, went about my business, and, as my well-being automatically heightened, I started to view the same outside situation differently. To be specific, I recognized the value in the coach and recalled the productive choices he has made for my son over the years.

There was something else I noticed, too: Perhaps, innocently, the coach wasn’t seeing things clearly when he made this particular decision about my son—a tendency that, from time to time, we all have in common. 

Overcoming Obstacles

Do you think that performing certain actions can change your state of mind? Can you overcome obstacles by facing your fears? Some motivational gurus suggest that by accomplishing difficult feats, such as walking across hot coals, you can triumph over any circumstance that you are confronted with. Agree?

Before you answer, let's dig a little deeper into how we conquer our apparent difficulties.

Not long ago, self-help expert Tony Robbins said in a Today Show interview that he helped raise the state of mind of a handicapped young man by travelling with him to exotic destinations, sky-diving with him, and doing all sorts of exciting activities. Robbins claimed that in experiencing these external pursuits, this man realized his potential, expanded his horizons, and, thus, elevated his mind-set.

Similarly, I recently heard an announcer on ESPN insist that Tiger Woods's level of confidence would, finally, be on the rise going into this year's Masters Tournament. How come? Woods just won the Arnold Palmer Invitational.

Do you believe that your environment has the ability to alter your state of mind? If so, you won't find inner peace or success.

In truth, however, sky-diving, like winning golf tournaments, has no ability to alter a person's psychological functioning or self-assurance. These external circumstances are neutral and have no power over one's level of well-being. Think about it, do all individuals who travel to beautiful places automatically become peaceful and invigorated? Of course not. In fact, for me, sometimes going on vacation seems to clear my mind, while, at other times, not so much.

Why, then, do motivational specialists like Robbins, and many of us, mistakenly believe that our circumstances can elevate our level of well-being and assist us in overcoming obstacles? The reason is that there are times when a person does something, like take a vacation or sky-dive, and then finds himself or herself in a higher state of mind. But it's not because of the doing that freedom, self-belief, or happiness is uncovered. It's because, no matter the doing, the person's mind-set has arbitrarily defaulted to clarity and consciousness.

In other words, travelling, winning, or walking over coals is never the reason that you overcome fearful, wayward, or any other type of insecure thinking—only your own inherent functioning can do this. Why, for instance, do the overwhelming percentage of smokers who attend smoking cessation programs fail, but on occasion one of these smokers will forgo cigarettes forever? Because this person's state of mind has ascended all on its own (it had nothing to do with the anti-smoking program), and from this elevated level of awareness, he or she had the "aha insight" where the answers to quitting became obvious.

Fluctuations of your level of consciousness are normal, random, and have nothing to do with your circumstances.

The bottom line is that while it's certainly enjoyable to triumph or explore, Robbins and others are innocently encouraging people to become victim of their own life situations. Your experience cannot create your state of mind; your state of mind is what creates your experience. If Robbins's standpoint was accurate, what exactly is the handicapped young man supposed to do after his exciting travels, when his level of consciousness naturally descends? Is he supposed to keep looking outside of himself to find peace and tranquility? Should he embark on a continuous quest for fulfillment?

To the contrary, he and the rest of us must understand that even though we all struggle at times, our circumstances—a physical handicap, a golf victory, money, fame, a demanding boss—have no ability to regulate our level of contentment in any way. The human experience says that (in spite of our circumstances) sometimes we're up and sometimes we're down. So if you want to stay up more often, simply look within and realize that the potential always exists for any situation to appear differently based on your ever-changing mind-set.

What happens once you uncover the inside-out nature of the human experience? Life becomes a whole lot easier since you'll realize that you don't have to apply willpower, delve into your past, think positively, undergo therapy, buy an expensive plane ticket, or do anything to overcome your "obstacles." They are merely figments of a temporarily low psychological perspective—illusions, after all.

Your Inner Source of Freedom, Creativity, Contentment, and Excellence

Some coaches and teachers today have begun stressing the significance of creativity and free will. It's about time. In a recent interview, for example, New York Rangers Head Coach John Tortorella said that when his team has the puck, "I let the players' imagination and vision take over . . . I don't set offensive systems for them." No wonder the Rangers have been at, or near, the top of the standings for the majority of this season.

Insightful parents do the same thing. They know better than to set a strict code of conduct and thwart the intuitive functioning or inner wisdom of their children.

But why is it necessary for mentors to resist the urge to dictate? Why do teachers who promote independence and imagination have a lasting impact on others? Why does fostering intuition set the stage for clutch performances and future leadership?

We are often told that free will, creativity, and imagination are important—but rarely told why.

The answer is that imagination, creativity, openness, compassion, inspiration, competitiveness, resilience, and love—all take place absent of intellect. They are the result of our intrinsic functioning; of our built-in wisdom. The reason that the Rangers are such a dynamic team is because Coach Tortorella doesn't tell his players what to do—he doesn't bind them up by filling their heads with thought. To him, the game is always the best teacher.

Likewise, many people believe that the explanation for Tiger Woods's struggles is the death of his father. They think Earl Woods was a disciplinarian and kept Tiger in line. Not so. Earl Woods offered an environment in which his son's inherent potential could flourish. Thus Tiger succeeded, smiled often, and made sound choices. When Earl died, Tiger's handlers took over and supplied a dictatorial strategy that clashed with Tiger's inner acuity. You know the rest.

Freedom, like creativity and imagination, is the by-product of fluent thinking.

My point is that long-term excellence, in sports and life, only occurs when a person possesses consistently fluent and uncontaminated thinking. And the way to live near this lucid state of mind is to allow your own instincts to run the show—not follow someone else's game plan. Yes, if you are a member of a team, organization, or family, you must live within the structure provided. But that structure has no ability to obstruct your clarity. It can't make you think a certain way.

Here's why imagination and free will are paramount: They come from the pure state of consciousness from which you entered this world—a state of "no thought." This perspective is the essence of truth; of spirit. It rests within everyone before the do's and the don'ts of the outside world take over. Look in this direction and you'll see that your level of consciousness determines all of your perceptions. Keep looking and you'll know that even when your circumstances appear to be slightly off-kilter; freedom, creativity, contentment, and excellence are only found in one place—within you, always.

The Disconnect

Here's a question that you might find perplexing: If your most blissful moments and brilliant performances occur when you feel like you aren't thinking or when you're free from thought—why, when you're not in this state, do you willingly place thoughts into your own head?

The answer is that you want to "fix" your low level of consciousness; you want to help yourself. But rarely, if ever, are you successful.

To demonstrate, say you have an important job interview and for some reason you're stuck in a sea of unconfident thought: "How will I perform?" "I wonder what they're going to ask me." "Man, I need this job so bad."

As a result, your state of mind is descending fast.

Luckily, though, you recall a positive-thinking, sure-to-calm strategy that a friend once suggested: Take these pessimistic thoughts and replace them with affirmative or relaxing ones. You give it a try, but, much to your chagrin, it doesn't work right away. So you try harder, and then again. Soon your head is filled with quadruple the thoughts (affirmative, pessimistic, relaxing—whatever) and you're feeling worse than you did before the mind-altering experiment began. Sound familiar? Well, you're not alone.

Most people don't recognize that self-help strategies fly in the face of the human experience.

The fact is that a regrettable disconnect exists between virtually all self-help strategies—including the techniques of psychologists, motivational gurus, and performance coaches—and our actual experiences when we're at our best. That is, if "the zone" is a state of no thought—it makes little sense to throw thought at an unconscious mind-set longing to return there.

The human mind, in truth, is far less complicated than that. Its inherent operation is one of fluency and ease. Every now and then, however, a thought will arbitrarily get stuck in our heads and if we try to do something (anything) about it, while we might experience a short-lived placebo-like spike, our level of well-being is certain to plummet. In ancient times, for instance, fear set in every night when the sun went down. So people developed all types of aberrant rituals to help ensure that the sun would rise again. Yet once it was uncovered that the earth rotates around the sun and, thus, daylight was a sure bet, these rituals were abandoned and fear was automatically replaced with self-assurance and faith. 

Success, freedom, and peace of mind are the effects of insight—don't look to the intellect for solutions.

Remember, your finest moments are the by-product of a free-flowing and pure quality of thinking; a level of consciousness where you're unaware of the thoughts streaming effortlessly through your head. Therefore, the next time you are not at this basic level of psychological functioning—or you're stuck—do not look to the intellect (add more thought) for answers; you will only neutralize your own intuitive functioning. Instead, simply recall that just like the sun is sure to rise, if left alone the quality of your thinking is sure to clear. It's a built-in guarantee.

Waiting on Insight

Lately, I have received several messages from readers who insist they "get it." They see that their state of mind in the moment, and not their current life situation, is what determines their view of the world around them. However, they also report that since being pointed in this direction, their lives aren't much different. Sometimes they feel good; sometimes they don't. Sometimes they are successful; sometimes not so much. So then, as one reader asked me, "What's so great about seeing the world from the inside out anyway?"

Glad to answer, but first let me tell you something you may not know: Twenty years ago when my mentors, George Pransky and Keith Blevens, pointed me in the same direction, it frustrated me, too.

An intellectual notion and an insightful knowing are not the same thing.

You see, understanding on an intellectual level that human beings create their perceptions from the inside out is a start, but it won't assist you in your quest for inner peace and success. When Keith and George first taught me about the principles that guide all human beings, like you, I began to repeat the old pattern of forcing a fix. And why not? If human beings behave better from higher mind-sets, it made sense for consciousness or awareness to become a practice. But this line of thinking made my head spin and, thereby, thwarted my clarity and promise. I wondered: "Am I aware? I was aware two minutes ago. I'm more aware today than I was yesterday. Or am I?" See the disquiet and confusion that ensued?

What I didn't know, at the time, is that the human mind will regulate to consciousness without any interference from us. You don't have to be vigilant about your level of awareness; your feelings are doing this by design. Here's the rub, though: For this understanding to go into effect, you must see this "concept" as an irrevocable fact. If you're sitting on the fence—sometimes looking within to explain your mistakes, but other times blaming those around you. Or if you're still reaching for external techniques when you lose your serenity or patience—then that deep insight, that epiphany, will simply not appear.

For this understanding to truly go to work, you must see as a fact (not as a concept) that your  mood determines your view of your circumstances. Your circumstances don't determine your mood.  

To put it simply, understanding that your state of mind in the moment determines your experience (not your experience determines your state of mind) is essential because it is true. It's the way it works; there's no alternative to this principle. If you aren't thriving, there is only one reason: you're not convinced at a change-of-heart type level; you're not all the way there. A long time ago, for example, certain people had an inkling that the world wasn't flat, that you couldn't fall off. But it wasn't until they deeply believed in this principle, and accepted it as fact, that they felt free enough to expand their horizons. In other words, insights are always present—you just have to be all in to find them. 

Here's something else about me that you might find helpful: I must have listened to the song "Let it Be" 300 times without knowing what the Beatles were saying. Yet once I saw "inside out" as an absolute and unequivocal truth—taking the Beatles' advice became obvious, automatic, and effortless. That is, there is an answer to every apparent predicament, just let it be and you'll become clear enough to notice.

The Bad Fight

Here's something that, in my opinion, you should do as soon as possible: Start experiencing your struggles and stop struggling with your experiences. Sound tricky? Think of it this way: Everyone feels low from time to time; we all struggle. But if you can roll with the lows—experience what it's like to feel out-of-sorts as opposed to fighting it—then your lows won't be as crippling or last as long.

To illustrate, say you wake up in a lousy mood. You're thinking negatively and feeling blue. But rather than go about your morning, you try to figure out the external source of your blue mood; reasoning that once it's unearthed you'll feel better. Is it the client you had to deal with before you left the office last night? Is it the children you have to hurry off to school? Is it the meeting with your accountant scheduled for later? And as you continue this search, all of these things, and many more, become problematic. Why? It's simple, by searching outside you are combating your low mood instead of experiencing it.

Do you know the difference between having an experience and fighting it?

The truth is that it's impossible for any external circumstance to bring you down. Only your thinking can do this. So, in looking to your circumstances, you are not only giving them erroneous power, you are adding strength to your own innocent thoughts and feelings as well.

For example, the other day I met with a hockey player who, with the trade deadline fast approaching, was convinced that he was going to get traded. He was in a foul mood since he didn't want to go to another team, or so he thought, and he was sure that he was going to feel this way until the deadline past. However, once he grasped that his mood was the by-product of his insecure thoughts and not the external predicament of being traded, he began to settle into the experience of feeling insecure. That's not to say that he relished the experience, he just didn't battle it. And you know what? Without anything changing on the outside, his well-being started to ascend.

All experiences, even when it doesn't feel this way, are opportunities.

In other words, the hockey player didn't fight an inner fight that he could never win. He understood that his bound-up thinking was temporary; he was merely riding a roller coaster that would eventually carry him upward to a viewpoint of clarity, calm, and perspective.

The bottom line is that external circumstances are always neutral. The fact that you think is the one and only reason that you struggle. Thus, the next time you get stuck in your thinking and feel down, simply have the experience—don't fight it in any way. And one more thing: It won't feel this way at first, but even the most difficult experiences are, in reality, pointing you in a direction where opportunities lie. As I said, start embracing these experiences as soon as possible.

Hard Work

A hockey team is in a slump. The forwards can't find the net, the defensemen can't clear the space in front of their net, and the goaltender can't keep the puck out of the net. So what does the coach do? Usually, he or she tells the players to "work harder." And as a result, nine times out of ten, the slump perpetuates itself.

But why does the "hard work prescription," in truth, make matters worse? Why doesn't the idea of grinding-it-out lead to success? Plus, why do leaders keep looking in this direction when it doesn't pay dividends?

The answer has to do with what creates slumps in the first place. A slump—just like a lack of effort—is the by-product of a low level of consciousness. Nothing more; nothing less. Thus, trying to work harder from the same low level of consciousness that created the slump will only compound issues as simple answers become less obvious.

In spite of what we think is true, hard work does not lead to success.

As an example, in the sales world, if a salesperson isn't cutting the mustard, the standard advice is to go out and sell harder; pound the pavement, so to speak. However, if the salesperson does this with no adjustment to his or her low mind-set, these efforts will continue to prove fruitless. Why? Because the salesperson's awareness, and ability to learn from mistakes, remains limited. And not only that, the company's image will take a hit since the company has a downbeat salesperson representing it in public.

My message is that the old company line, "The harder you work, the better results you'll see," is simply not accurate. How hard you work is beside the point. The state of mind from which you work—now that's a different story. I've seen many pro golfers, for instance, pound balls on the practice tee only to see their on-course productivity decline. Reason being, grinding away at their performance issue actually holds in place the level of consciousness that created the issue to begin with. To the contrary, I've watched some of the most successful pro golfers arrive on the practice tee with hundreds of balls, only to hit several. Now why do you think that is?

The states of mind from which you work will determine your level of success.

Remember, if you take any competitive situation and add a low state of mind, what you get is the illusion of a performance problem. And the only way to melt away this illusion is to allow your state of mind to rise on its own. In other words, it's okay to keep working, just don't work hard, or force a fix, anytime you are low.

Here's one last way to look at it: Ask most people how they felt after an awesome and triumphant performance and they use basic words like effortless, free, and automatic. Ask those who fall short and, exasperatedly, they say, "I poured my heart and soul into it; I worked my butt off; I tried my best and that's all I can do."

But that's not so. What you can do is understand where effort and excellence truly originate—the freedom, clarity, and inspiration available when you simply stay in the game and allow answers to find you. Hard work—nothing to do with it.