Garret Kramer's Blog, page 33

The Shift

Recently, I agreed to caddie for a dear friend, Jay Blumenfeld, as he attempted to qualify for the US Senior Amateur Golf Championship, the most prestigious amateur golf tournament in the world for players 55 years of age and older. The qualifying round was at my former home course, and the championship is at the course in New Jersey where both Jay and I now play. While Jay is an accomplished player (although ten years my senior, when I used to play competitive golf, he was an awesome adversary), we both figured that having me “on the bag” might do Jay some good.

This story, however, is not about our friendship, my assistance as a caddie, and Jay’s play that day. This story is about a moment of stillpower in action, and it happened in the heat of the battle as Jay and I walked off the 15th tee.

But first, let me tell you about the prior fourteen holes.

Jay was paired with a man name Val. Right from the start, it was obvious that Val had entered a tournament for which he was not qualified to participate. Val had no golf etiquette—he was often in Jay’s line of sight, he moved and talked when Jay was hitting, plus his game was downright awful. He seemed like a nice enough person, but to Jay, being paired with Val was about the worst break a player could get. In fact, over the course of the first fourteen holes, my main responsibility was keeping Jay distracted from Val’s antics. A few times, though, I could clearly see my friend’s blood boiling.

Now, for the most part Jay understands stillpower, and he is a big proponent of my work. And even though I reminded Jay that Val was just another external circumstance, and like all external circumstances, he was neutral, or better yet, actually there to help us, Jay felt so frustrated at times that he wasn’t completely buying it. As a result, through fourteen holes, Jay stood at even par—teetering on the cut line.

Then we climbed onto the 15th tee, facing a difficult hole with water up the entire right side of the fairway.

Well, wouldn’t you know it, as Jay started his club back, Val stepped right behind him. Jay pulled his shot way left into the thick rough. This meant that, on his next shot, Jay’s ball would have to carry over the water out of an awful lie. Things looked bleak, or so I thought, and as we walked off the tee, I was prepared for Jay to complain about Val. I was also ready to advise him to “stay in the game” since we had four challenging holes left to play. Jay’s remarks, however, pleasantly startled me.

Out of nowhere, he said, “You know what, maybe Val is getting over some kind of illness like a stroke or something and that’s why he can’t play so well and his awareness isn’t so good. Who am I to judge him? He’s actually a good guy, and I’ve been treating him with disrespect all day.”

I quickly responded, “Right on, now you’re seeing it, buddy. Why don’t you walk with Val down the fairway? I’ll find your ball, no worries.”

Here’s where things get really interesting. I get to Jay’s ball in the deep rough, and to my delight, his lie isn’t so bad after all. Jay then arrives at his ball and, with an obvious shift in consciousness, tells me what a nice conversation he had with Val. He then pulls a club from his golf bag, swings, and sends his ball over the water and toward the green. It stops five feet from the hole. He makes the putt for a birdie, 3. He then pars the 16th hole, birdies the 17th, and birdies the 18th to close at 3 under par to qualify for the US Senior Amateur. Simply astonishing; what a performance!

*     *     *

Keep in mind, none of us have control over the thoughts that pop into our heads. Jay’s initial thoughts about Val were totally innocent. My message to Jay, and to you, is that no matter our circumstances and our thinking about our circumstances, if we can just hang in, stay in the game, or keep tending to the task at hand, the mind is so powerful that it will always regulate or shift back to consciousness—toward “the zone.”

In other words, even though frustrating thoughts kept coming and going, because Jay was wise enough to leave them alone (for most of the round) or not fix them, his innate functioning and clarity eventually won out over any passing belief in his own errant thinking. Truth be told, this heightened level of consciousness was available throughout the first fourteen holes, it just took a momentary glimpse of compassion for it to come flooding through.

One last thing: remember I mentioned to Jay that Val might actually be there to help? Well, on three of the last four holes, Val’s ball came to rest on the exact same line on the green as Jay’s but further from the hole. So as Val putted on these crucial holes, Jay and I got a chance to see the break on Jay’s upcoming putts.

What luck—thankfully, we were consciousness enough to notice. Thankfully, Jay found the perfect playing partner in Val.

 

 

 

Garret Kramer is the founder of Inner Sports. His clients include Olympians, NHL, NFL, MLB, and collegiate players and coaches, and he often conducts seminars about his revolutionary “inside-out” approach to performance excellence. Garret has been featured on WFAN, ESPN, FOX, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Sports Illustrated, and Forbes. He is the author of the book, Stillpower: Excellence with Ease in Sports and Life; foreword by NHL and U.S. Olympic star Zach Parise, www.stillpower.com.

Stop Looking Outside! Twelve Real Reasons Why You Sometimes Feel Low

A few weeks back, I read an article, “12 Surprising Causes of Depression.” The article listed external factors such as seasonal mood disorder, birth control pills, Facebook overload, and the city in which you live. While I won’t argue that there might be a correlation between these factors and depression, in my mind, there is not a cause-and-effect relationship between them. That is, spending time on Facebook has no ability to make someone depressed. If that were the case, all Facebook users would suffer, just like a lack of sunlight (seasonal mood disorder) would cause each sufferer to feel down all of the time.

But what factor do all depressed people have in common? To me, it’s a lack of understanding about the principle of thought. Simply stated, if people understood the illusionary and random nature of thought, very few would be depressed.

So, let’s look at some examples of this uncomplicated paradigm and how it might apply to you. Here are my twelve reasons why, at times, you (and me, too) have trouble shaking your wayward state of mind.

 

1.  You forget that errant thoughts are normal; thus you try to change your thoughts.

2.  You accept your errant thoughts as real; thus you try to change your thoughts.

3.  You focus on the content of your thoughts, not the quality (by quality I mean fluent or free vs. bound-up or stuck).

4.  You try to fix troublesome life situations from a temporarily low psychological perspective and outlook.

5.  You jump from one external fix or coping mechanism to another.

6.  You use your intellect to search for answers, when answers are only found via insight (from within).

7.  You fight your experiences; when you should be having experiences.

8.  You attribute your feelings to your circumstances, when they are purely the result of your thinking.

9.  You use your feelings as an indication of the quality of your life, when they are only an indication of the quality of your thinking.

10.  You overlook the fact that problems are not the cause of your lows; they are a symptom of them.

11.  You are convinced that experience creates state of mind, when state of mind creates experience.

12.  You believe that willpower (battling through your lows) is the appropriate and commendable response. In truth, however, stillpower (knowing that the human mind is designed to return to clarity on its own) is the only response that fosters your innate functioning and consciousness.

 

There’s my list.

Remember, external circumstances are always neutral. That’s why you’ll always feel worse if, as the referenced article above suggests, you point to your life situations as the reasons you feel low. To the contrary, your thinking—and only your thinking—creates your feelings. When you look outside, you manufacture, validate, and perpetuate problems that don’t really exist.

As always, I’m here to answer any questions.

Garret

 

 

Garret Kramer is the founder of Inner Sports. His clients include Olympians, NHL, NFL, MLB, and collegiate players and coaches, and he often conducts seminars about his revolutionary “inside-out” approach to performance excellence. Garret has been featured on WFAN, ESPN, FOX, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Sports Illustrated, and Forbes. He is the author of the book, Stillpower: Excellence with Ease in Sports and Life; foreword by NHL and U.S. Olympic star Zach Parise, www.stillpower.com.

Give the Stillpower Challenge a Try—Is Clarity Really Right around the Corner?

Here’s my challenge to you: The next time you feel bothered by something—I want you to leave it alone, totally, 100 percent. If your coach seems disrespectful, keep playing. If your spouse is acting in a way that upsets you, go about your normal daily activity. If you get cut off in traffic and feel violated, just drive. No matter the situation, if you sense any insecurity, negativity, ego, judgment, worry, or unsettledness—I am asking you to not act upon it.

If you are a consistent reader of my articles, or you have read my book Stillpower, you understand the reason why: Our problems are never the cause of a low mind-set; they are a symptom of a low mind-set. When any of us are in a low psychological perspective, we don’t see life clearly; our perceptions are skewed. So, if we act from that place, we validate and energize these temporary (and illusionary) issues.

To be clear, I am not saying that skewed perceptions are abnormal. We all get them from time to time. My message is that we don’t feel the outside world (if we did our feelings about our circumstances would be constant); what we feel is our thinking—which, if we allow it, or simply stay in the game, is always bound to improve.

Okay, you’re now on your own. My bet is if you can truly hold yourself accountable to not looking outside for the reason you feel low, and not trying to fix or control what you think is bothering you, you will find that clarity, perspective, and answers are really right around the corner.

Keep me posted,

Garret

 

P.S. In case you are wondering, I am also interested in your viewpoint on when is the right time to stand up for yourself—to speak out to your coach, spouse, or the guy in traffic? I look forward to hearing your thoughts on that one, too.

 

 

Garret Kramer is the founder of Inner Sports. His clients include Olympians, NHL, NFL, MLB, and collegiate players and coaches, and he often conducts seminars about his revolutionary “inside-out” approach to performance excellence. Garret has been featured on WFAN, ESPN, FOX, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Sports Illustrated, and Forbes. He is the author of the book, Stillpower: Excellence with Ease in Sports and Life; foreword by NHL and U.S. Olympic star Zach Parise, www.stillpower.com.

A Rewarding Example of Stillpower in Action

Among the most rewarding aspects of my work are the correspondences I receive from readers, subscribers to my articles, or random folks who are interested in the paradigm of stillpower. This week, with permission, I thought I would share the following correspondence with you. I have removed the author’s name for privacy reasons.

To me, this email sums up the value in looking at performance, and life, from the inside out. As opposed to using external methods to raise consciousness and performance levels (adding thought in order to get to a state of “no thought”), this email reveals what happens when we simply allow consciousness to naturally trend upward on its own. I hope that, like me, you find it helpful.

 

Hi Garret,

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing stillpower with the world. I am a master cyclist and have competed, with success, at the national and international level. However, I have increasingly struggled with motivation due to my self-defeating thought processes.

I now realize that I have been overthinking it; essentially, keeping myself in the basement as you have put it. I have read a lot of sport psych books, tried meditation, affirmations, life-coaching, and hypnosis to improve my self-confidence and approach to competing—all to no avail. I was at my wit’s end. I was searching for the “silver bullet.” Instead of gaining self-confidence and belief, I seemed to be losing my sense of self. Each external strategy would not produce a sustained improvement as they were extremely taxing on me, and only made me more confused and upset. The thought of trying another visualization or breathing technique did my head in.

Thankfully, I ran across your new book, Stillpower, and later your talks on YouTube. Suddenly, the light went on. My wheels had been spinning, and I knew it! With each strategy that I employed, I was becoming more exasperated by a sense of getting deeper into uncertainty.

But now understanding that my mind is designed to find “the zone” or become conscious naturally has put the power back with me. Stillpower puts me back at the wheel—it feels SO right.

I love my sport, I am good at it, and I am looking forward to experiencing the passion I felt when I first competed.

I will no longer try to fight myself out of the basement because I know it is temporary. All I need to do is to stay in the game and know the elevator will soon stop at the penthouse floor. Every day it gets easier and my time in the basement gets shorter. Simply amazing!

Many, many thanks.

 

Indeed, as some of you know, this type of realization is what happened to me many years ago. Like the cyclist’s experience, in looking outside of myself for the cause of my low mind-set and for the fix, I was fighting my mind’s natural ability to default to clarity (or heal) on its own.

Then one day it simply occurred to me to stop trying to feel better; to stop willing myself to happiness. And the minute I did—insight, understanding, and positivity flooded the system. The same realization is possible, and it is waiting, for you!

Remember, the next time you feel down and are struggling, simply look in the direction that there is nothing out there to fix. In other words, no matter how bad you feel, just stay in the game (as the cyclist said). It might take a little time, but, as stale thinking is replaced with fluent thinking, clarity and answers will arrive—it’s a built-in guarantee.

 

Note: As a reminder to my UK friends, tomorrow night I will be headed your way. I will be giving a one night talk on Thursday and a three day workshop (with an optional half day on Monday) beginning Friday morning; both in London and hosted by my friend and colleague, Jamie Smart.  Here are the links to the events:

http://www.jamiesmart.com/TTT/eveningwithgarret.php

http://www.jamiesmart.com/TTT/superbperformance.php

Hope to see you there,

Garret

 

 

Garret Kramer is the founder of Inner Sports. His clients include Olympians, NHL, NFL, MLB, and collegiate players and coaches, and he often conducts seminars about his revolutionary “inside-out” approach to performance excellence. Garret has been featured on WFAN, ESPN, FOX, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Sports Illustrated, and Forbes. He is the author of the book, Stillpower: Excellence with Ease in Sports and Life; foreword by NHL and U.S. Olympic star Zach Parise, www.stillpower.com.

8 Overlooked Factors to Overcoming Failure—in Sports, Business, Relationships, and beyond

Inevitably, people are prone to failure, upset, and disappointment. There are far more participants in sports, and in the business world, than there are champions. And not every relationship is destined for a life-long commitment. Why, then, do some people handle failure and go on to prosper, while others seem to be scarred by failure for life?

Consider the following list. Then see how these often-overlooked factors might apply to your own ups and downs, and to your personal quest for success, contentment, and long-term productivity.

 

1.  People who overcome failure do not try to control their thoughts.

The human mind is designed to find clarity by naturally replacing old thought with fresh thought. Those who thwart this process by trying to look on the bright side (forcing themselves to think positively) only perpetuate their own struggles, disappointments, and confusion.

2.  People who overcome failure know the difference between their life and their life situations.

Your life is a constant; your life situations are always in flux. One key to overcoming failure is to grasp that losing has no bearing on your level of self-worth or esteem. Understand that your life situations cannot penetrate your life and, win or lose, the perceptual field (your awareness) will remain expanded.

3.  People who overcome failure rarely set goals.

Goal setting limits your options. If you set a goal and don’t achieve it, it makes perfect sense for disappointment to fester. Even though they might feel down in the moment, people who overcome failure recognize that any and all outcomes are an opportunity for growth, new possibilities, and future achievement.  

4.  People who overcome failure know that their reality is created from the inside out.

Your experience does not create your state of mind; your state of mind creates your experience. It’s perfectly reasonable to feel upset if you don’t win, but those who learn from the experience of losing know that their thinking, and not the loss itself, is the cause of the upset. The outcome (the loss) remains, but your thinking and your perspective is guaranteed to change.

5.  People who overcome failure know that external circumstances are neutral.

Why is it that one moment we can be distraught about a circumstance like losing a competition, and then the next moment look at the exact same circumstance and wonder why we were so down in the first place? The reason is that outside events and situations are purely neutral. Your current state of mind creates all of your external perceptions; realize this and you can overcome anything.

6.  People who overcome failure use their feelings as their guide.

There is nothing wrong with you if you can’t shake a disappointment. But remember, the “off” feeling in your gut is actually an intuitive sign that your thinking and perceptions are momentarily off-kilter. Those who prosper from a loss know better than to fight through a momentary lack of clarity.

7.  People who overcome failure distrust their thoughts when they are low.

Human beings do not see life clearly when they are low. Therefore, one secret to overcoming failure is to not believe what you think when this type of mood sets in. Resilient individuals allow insights, and answers, to arrive because they know that in a low state of mind their thinking is not helpful.

8.  People who overcome failure employ stillpower —not willpower.

What happens if you press the gas pedal when your tires are stuck in mud? Right, you go deeper into the slop. Willing yourself through (or trying to fix) an impermanent and wayward mind-set only exacerbates your troubles and set-backs. Rather, the key to conquering failure is to see that if you leave your letdowns unattended, your state of mind will clear and the answers to your lack of success will become obvious. Win or lose, every competition, relationship, or experience is leading you inward—where the gold truly rests.

 

Questions or comments—I’m always within reach.

Garret

 

 

Garret Kramer is the founder of Inner Sports. His clients include Olympians, NHL, NFL, MLB, and collegiate players and coaches, and he often conducts seminars about his revolutionary “inside-out” approach to performance excellence. Garret has been featured on WFAN, ESPN, FOX, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Sports Illustrated, and Forbes. He is the author of the book, Stillpower: Excellence with Ease in Sports and Life; foreword by NHL and U.S. Olympic star Zach Parise, www.stillpower.com.

 

Do You Set Expectations for Your Organization? Here’s Why They’re Not Working

At my daughter’s summer camp, counselors have made a concerted effort over the past several years to eliminate bullying, wayward behavior, and mischief. In fact, the camp owner and management team recently decided to advertise their camp as an environment where meanness has no place. And, as such, this camp season they required all campers and parents to sign a code-of-conduct agreement where twenty-two camper expectations were listed in detail. Sounds reasonable and responsible, yes?

Well, regrettably, in spite of their sound intentions, behavior at this camp has not improved—it’s gotten worse. And this summer, several campers were repeatedly disciplined and threatened with expulsion for their unruly actions.

Indeed, this situation is comparable to what is happening on college campuses across the U.S. Are you aware that underage students are abusing alcohol at alarming rates? It’s true, and the standard university response is to set more stringent expectations and throw more rules at the student population, even though (as guidelines grow) behavior continues to spiral downhill. We see a similar situation in pro sports. Even with increasingly intense player-development strategies, the amount of dysfunctional actions are escalating by the day, both on and off the playing field.

How much more proof do we need that setting expectations does not inhibit errant behavior?

But why is this alarming trend occurring? And if setting stricter standards doesn’t work, what can be done to eliminate hurtful and disruptive conduct?

The answer, believe it or not, has to do with a person’s free will and inherent functioning—and what happens when these innate attributes are compromised. In setting expectations, leaders are actually pointing people in the direction of (and thus energizing) what they are trying to avoid in the first place. To illustrate, if I tell my son how to behave as he embarks upon his college journey this week, my expectations are likely to clash with his own intuition, resulting in bound-up thinking (the opposite of a clear head) when he finds himself in a sticky situation—his first fraternity party, for example.

Instead, what camps, schools, teams, leagues, families, and organizations must do is point their charges inward. Teach them that their mind-sets are naturally in flux—from a high feeling state (mood), their choices are automatically fruitful and empowering, but from a low feeling state, if they act, their choices will be desperate and destructive. We must promote and inspire free will by not telling others what is right or wrong, but by encouraging others to act when their state of mind is elevated and, thus, they are viewing life with compassion, love, resilience, and strength. From this perspective, a person’s behavior is always productive, for themselves and those around them.

The only way to encourage productive behavior is to point people inward. Expectations point people outward, toward somebody else’s definition of right and wrong.

The bottom line is that telling others what to do, what to look out for, or what behavior is and is not expected—points them away from their own freedom and instincts. Plus, rather than punishing or disciplining when they don’t fit an organization’s definition of “appropriate” (which only escalates the tension and bewilderment), leaders should be teaching others about what their feelings are trying to tell them. The “off” feeling in their stomachs before the 15-year-old boy campers raided a girls bunk, for instance, was telling them that their thinking was momentarily off course, and they were about to make a big mistake if they proceeded.

It’s time that we look away from behavior and toward the state of mind that creates the behavior. We’ve put the cart before the horse, and, sadly, our young people are paying an extremely steep price for it. After all, isn’t summer camp supposed to be a place where kids grow, discover, make mistakes, and prosper? Isn’t it a place where free will is supposed to bloom?

 

Author’s note: I am well aware that the preceding point of view is outside the norm. All I ask is that you consider it with an open mind. Our insecurities often tell us that we must set expectations and rules, and discipline accordingly—we should never listen to our insecure thoughts.   

Garret

 

 

Garret Kramer is the founder of Inner Sports. His clients include Olympians, NHL, NFL, MLB, and collegiate players and coaches, and he often conducts seminars about his revolutionary “inside-out” approach to performance excellence. Garret has been featured on WFAN, ESPN, FOX, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Sports Illustrated, and Forbes. He is the author of the book, Stillpower: Excellence with Ease in Sports and Life; foreword by NHL and U.S. Olympic star Zach Parise, www.stillpower.com.

How Stillpower Helped Save a Marriage

Lisa and Tim grew up together, became high-school sweethearts, went their separate ways in college, reunited afterwards, and got married two years later. They have three children, exciting careers, and a lovely home in the suburbs. Sadly, though, they also possess a concrete list of problems which, to them, are causing an increasing level of marital strife.

Because I know Tim and he is familiar with my work, I suggested that he and Lisa come see me. Although they had previously visited a marriage counselor to no avail, I mentioned that perhaps a perspective existed that they had not yet explored. He agreed, and eight days later they arrived, poised to get to the bottom of their list of problems.

“But not so fast,” I told them. I had two requirements during our time together:

We don’t try to fix your problems.I will meet with the two of you, but separately.

Although these requirements surprised both Lisa and Tim, they were determined to save their marriage, and nothing else was working, so we began.

Lisa was up first. After we settled in, I informed her that, for all people, problems are a byproduct of low states of mind. From a high state of mind, the exact same problematic circumstance is no longer problematic. For example, the problem of Tim playing golf on Sunday mornings was not the cause of Lisa’s discontent; it was a symptom of her discontent. Said another way, what she experienced—Tim leaving early on Sunday mornings—did not create Lisa’s low state of mind. Her low state of mind created how she experienced (or viewed) his leaving early on Sunday mornings.

In fact, it took her a minute, but Lisa soon admitted. “Actually, sometimes I understand Tim’s love of golf and his desire to be with his friends, and I encourage him to go. I don’t mind it at all.”

Now we were getting somewhere, and I could see (as a new line of thinking took hold) the tension lifting from Lisa’s shoulders. She then asked, “So, if my perceptions of Tim’s actions are more understanding from a high state of mind, what can I do to get to a higher state of mind more often?”

I replied, “Great, keep looking toward state of mind and away from behavior. From a higher mind-set, you won’t feel irritated by Tim’s behavior or your differences. Therefore, any time you feel angry or offended, understand that your thoughts and state of mind—and not Tim—are creating this perception and simply apply what I call stillpower.”

“Sounds interesting,” she said. “What is stillpower?”

“Stillpower is the opposite of willpower. You’ve been using willpower. You’ve been attempting to will yourself through marital problems that won’t even exist when your state of mind is elevated. With stillpower you leave your problems alone when you feel low, and, naturally, fresh thought arrives and answers become obvious to you both.”

As I said good-bye to Lisa, she hugged me and then exclaimed, “I can’t wait for Tim to learn this, too!”

Thankfully, my time with Tim was virtually identical. And as he left my office and headed toward the room where Lisa was waiting, I notice that he, too, seemed extremely at ease. The next thing I knew, Lisa and Tim walked out of my office—arm in arm.

*                 *                 *

Remember, at times, we all find ourselves in low states of mind. Low states of mind are normal, temporary, and occur independent of our circumstances. And since we don’t see life clearly from this wayward psychological outlook, problem solving from it only makes matters worse.

Rather, no matter the situation, when you feel low or out of sorts, simply apply stillpower. You probably won’t feel better in an instant, but if you look away from your illusionary troubles, you won’t perpetuate your low quality of thinking and your level of clarity will start to rise by itself.

As for Lisa and Tim, I’m proud to say that things continue to look up. Of course, they don’t always agree, but because they now understand that low mind-sets create errant perceptions, they are committed to discussing their differences from high states of mind—and finding something else to do (together) whenever they are low.

 

 

Garret Kramer is the founder of Inner Sports. His clients include Olympians, NHL, NFL, MLB, and collegiate players and coaches, and he often conducts seminars about his revolutionary “inside-out” approach to performance excellence. Garret has been featured on WFAN, ESPN Radio, FOX, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and Sports Illustrated. He is the author of the book, Stillpower: Excellence with Ease in Sports and Life; foreword by NHL and U.S. Olympic star Zach Parise, www.stillpower.com.

8 Surprising Characteristics of Winners at the London Olympics

What do successful Olympic athletes have in common? Do they train until exhaustion sets in? Are they positive thinkers? Do they grind through adversity? Have they set gold-medal goals? Indeed, these characteristics are often associated with athletic success. But when Olympic winners are asked about their state of mind, physical preparation, and journey to the top, they almost always define their experience in a different fashion.

So, what are the common keys to Olympic achievement?

Take a look at the following list. Then decide if these characteristics are present, or needed, in your own quest for success, contentment, and long-term productivity.

 

1. Winning athletes attribute their success to a lack of thought.

How many times during the London games have you heard a gold-medal winner say, “I wasn’t thinking about anything. Things just seemed to fall into place for me”? Olympic winners know that they cannot consistently reach this state of high performance by using their intellect or employing mental strategies. Why? Because both require deliberate thinking—exactly what is not present when an athlete is in “the zone.”

2. Winning athletes relish the ride.

Top Olympic performers understand that chasing a medal thwarts their own clarity, freedom, and creativity. Contrary to what many of us have been taught, the “goal” of top athletes is almost always to savor the journey, relationships, and experiences. They know that narrow-mindedly setting their sights on a title restricts awareness and reduces possibilities.

3. Winning athletes care, and don’t care, about outcomes—at the exact same time.

Obviously, Olympic champions strive to win, and their competitive spirit doesn’t take losing lightly. However, they also know that, win or lose, they will be perfectly okay. There is a big difference between one’s life (a constant) and one’s life situations (always in flux). The best athletes know that what occurs in their life situations (a particular Olympic event, for example) has no ability to infiltrate their life.

4. Winning athletes understand that competition is the ultimate form of cooperation.

Although athletes are often encouraged to perceive opponents as the enemy, the Olympics show us that respect, compassion, and love are far more conducive to consistent achievement. In fact, conscious athletes understand that their opponents are there to push them past their current limitations—to make them better. This reverence increases awareness, expands the perceptual field, and slows down thought—greatly increasing the odds for victory.

5. Winning athletes presume that they know little about their sport.

Openness is an almost always-overlooked characteristic of success. Believe it or not, the most insightful athletes know that there is always more to learn and more efficient ways to operate. As they arrive at the Olympics, these athletes put what they know on the back-burner; they start fresh. Like small children, they live full of wonder and constantly seek to soak up more. 

6. Winning athletes feel pressure and think negative thoughts.

Some of us think that champion athletes are immune to anxious thoughts, that they have ice water in their veins. But the truth is that they are subject to errant thoughts and feelings as much as the next guy. What champions know, however, is that low quality thoughts and feelings are a normal byproduct of the human experience; they have nothing to do with a specific circumstance. Therefore, great athletes understand that they can triumph no matter what thoughts and feelings might occur. 

7. Winning athletes use stillpower—not willpower.

Isn’t it obvious? The winners in the 2012 Olympic Games in London have a light, calm, and clear look about them, while the also-rans seem to be grinding and pushing. Olympic winners rarely try to will themselves through wayward perspectives and outlooks. Instead, they apply stillpower. They leave their low thoughts and feelings unattended, and, instantaneously, clarity and consciousness return once more.

 

Keep in mind, Olympic excellence—like excellence in any arena—is the natural result of high states of consciousness. And you can’t get to this powerful psychological perspective by forcing, exerting, or laboring. Compare Missy Franklin to Ryan Lochte; the U.S. women’s gymnastics team to the Russian team; Andy Murray’s state of mind in the Olympics versus his state of mind at Wimbledon—and it’s plain to see: Effort is only as productive as the state of mind from which it comes. Olympic champions know that their perceptions are created from the inside out—their state of mind in the moment will determine their experience (#8), the most essential characteristic of them all.

 

Thoughts or additions to the list?   Send me a note anytime.

Garret

 

 

 

Garret Kramer is the founder of Inner Sports. His clients include Olympians, NHL, NFL, MLB, and collegiate players and coaches, and he often conducts seminars about his revolutionary “inside-out” approach to performance excellence. Garret has been featured on WFAN, ESPN Radio, FOX, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and Sports Illustrated. He is the author of the book, Stillpower: Excellence with Ease in Sports and Life; foreword by NHL and U.S. Olympic star Zach Parise, www.stillpower.com.

 

Fourteen Attributes (That You Probably Haven’t Considered) of Great Coaches

There are many, many coaching manuals and books on the market today. Unfortunately, virtually all of them provide an external blueprint or “positive” guide to successful coaching and leadership. Very few, however, point the coach inward to an intuitive understanding that he or she already possesses.

Below are fourteen examples of the inside-out coaching paradigm revealed in Stillpower. Consider theses attributes of great coaches for yourself; then see how they might apply to you, your team, classroom, company, or family.

1. Great coaches think state of mind first; behavior (including “working hard, “staying positive, and “doing the ‘right’ thing”), a distant second.

2. Great coaches know that what they say pales in comparison to the state of mind from which they say it.

3. Great coaches know that their perception of others is based solely on their own state of mind—which is always subject to change.

4. Great coaches set few expectations if any. They know better than to make players victims of their own circumstances.

5.  Great coaches set few goals if any. They know better than to limit possibilities.

6. Great coaches act from inspiration (a high mind-set) and pull back from desperation (a low mind-set).

7. Great coaches know that a team culture must be flexible or it risks stifling the individuality, intuition, and free will of the players.

8.  Great coaches burn to win and can’t stand to lose.

9.  Great coaches understand that, win or lose, they’ll be perfectly okay.

10. Great coaches value imagination and creativity above a code of conduct or strategic system.

11. Great coaches rarely talk about or display past accomplishments. They know better than to take their team out of the here and now.

12. Great coaches are models of engagement and passion no matter the external circumstance (score, standings, opponent’s actions, referee’s call, etc.).

13. Great coaches do not force their belief system on others. They know that if a player replaces his or her own belief with the coach’s belief, success will be short-lived at best.

14. Great coaches love their players—and their opponents, too. They know that love fosters awareness, resilience, effort, and excellence. Resentment, disrespect, and hate foster nothing worth mentioning.

 

The bottom line is that the best coaches produce intuitive leaders who consistently come through in the big moment. And you don’t do this by dictating behavior or setting external standards. Instead, great coaches provide failure-free environments, and, thus, the instincts and free will of their players flourish.

Keep the comments and questions coming!

Garret

 

 

Garret Kramer is the founder of Inner Sports. His clients include Olympians, NHL, NFL, MLB, and collegiate players and coaches, and he often conducts seminars about his revolutionary “inside-out” approach to performance excellence. Garret has been featured on WFAN, ESPN Radio, FOX, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and Sports Illustrated. He is the author of the book, Stillpower: Excellence with Ease in Sports and Life; foreword by NHL and U.S. Olympic star Zach Parise, www.stillpower.com.

The Stillpower Perspective on Passion

The other day, my son Jackson and I stopped at a Denny’s restaurant in Vineland, New Jersey, for a quick breakfast. We were on our way to a baseball tournament and didn’t have time to spare, so we sat at the counter. Lucky for us, because from the counter seats we had a direct view into the kitchen and, as a result, we got a surprising look at stillpower in action.   

Now, Vineland isn’t one the most glamorous towns in which to live or work. It has seen its share of setbacks, most recently a tornado that ravaged numerous trees, businesses, and homes. That morning, however, Denny’s was packed and the kitchen was moving at break-neck speed. And as it did, the head chef set the perfect example of passion while also showing the powerless nature of external circumstances.

He led his team of four other chefs as if he were running a trading floor on Wall Street or a football team preparing for the Super Bowl. Amid the chaos of a bustling kitchen, this team was so engaged that their performance and food were flawless. Even in an extremely hot work environment (it was 95 degrees outside and we could feel the heat of the kitchen from the counter), they churned out meal after meal with smiles on their faces and the occasional outburst of laughter.

My question is, why?

By all appearances, working in the kitchen of a Denny’s restaurant in Vineland is about as dead-end as it gets. Why in the world would this cooking crew pour so much energy, love, and determination into its work?

The answer lies in the fact that passion is created from the inside out; not outside in. The night before, for instance, I watched a baseball game on TV and witnessed a player (who happens to own a 15 million dollar salary) loaf on and off a perfectly manicured field. And because he wasn’t giving his best effort in the last inning, he got thrown out at first base on what should have been an easy infield hit.

What do the Denny’s workers grasp that this ballplayer doesn’t? Passion always occurs independent of circumstance. From high states of mind, human beings are passionate; from low states, they are not. Therefore, the secret to becoming passionate (and successful) isn’t finding the perfect job, partner, or place to live. The secret is understanding that when you aren’t passionate, it is about you. Your state of mind has temporarily trended lower, and, thus, an “undesirable environment” has been created inside your own head.

What do you do when this errant perception occurs? Simply apply stillpower. If you leave your misguided thinking unattended, your state of mind, effort level, and outlook on life are sure to self-correct—no matter the circumstance or environment. And when this happens, you will realize (like the Denny’s crew) that passion isn’t found “out there.” Passion is 100 percent an inside job.

 

 

Garret Kramer is the founder of Inner Sports. His clients include Olympians, NHL, NFL, MLB, and collegiate players and coaches, and he often conducts seminars about his revolutionary “inside-out” approach to performance excellence. Garret has been featured on WFAN, ESPN Radio, FOX, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and Sports Illustrated. He is the author of the book, Stillpower: Excellence with Ease in Sports and Life; foreword by NHL and U.S. Olympic star Zach Parise, www.stillpower.com.