Cate Ellink's Blog, page 36

Phallic Friday - Advent

I noticed on FB that Rose Caraway has been linking to an Advent Calendar done by an author who had a short story in her Libidinous Zombie anthology, so I thought I'd go check it out.

When I did, I thought I had to share it here. It's a brilliant idea!

So if you'd like a daily dose of erotic, all you have to do is check out Tamsin Flowers' webpage - http://tamsinflowers.com/

The accompanying photos are steamy, so don't look at work :)

Each day a different erotic author is showcased, and a line at the end of each post suggests readers check out a few charities. This makes it an even better idea - it is the season for giving.

I hope you enjoy Advent, erotic style!

Wildlife Wednesday - rutting roos

Today's photo is of some kangaroos at the Nowra Zoo, making more kangaroos. I'm pretty sure the female in this photo has a joey in her pouch. It's not the best photo with that great pole in the shot, but Mr E was absolutely horrified that I was taking the photo, and was trying to drag me away, so it's all I could quickly snap! I don't think he was worried about me being corrupted...I think he was worried about having to answer any questions as there were kids with us - and you know how kids love their questions! And I always seem to give too much information (apparently!).

Phallic Friday - sex on TV

I'm really excited by this that I just saw on news.com.au (here) - it's about Channel 9 in Australia, planning on a new Sex Ed show for 2016.

After reading the article, my excitement has waned because it's saying that advertiser backlash might mean the end of the show - even before it begins. That is so incredibly disheartening.

The article says the show will be done by the people who did Married At First Sight. Now maybe the show was a bit dorky, and maybe the couples weren't all raging successes... but the show was good. The people who matched the couples were insightful and took risks. They were calm, professional, focussed and sensible. They used logic and rationale to arrange 'blind dates' and then could explain the couples' reactions at each stage of the process. It was fascinating to watch. I wrote a post on the Naughty Ninjas about the show - you can find it here.

So...back to the Sex Ed show. If it's an educational show...why would advertisers not support it? God, all the shit that's on TV where murder, violence, and all sorts of 'bad' sex is brought into your lounge room in the form of movies and news reports, the show that's going to make advertisers balk is an educational show about sex. Heaven forbid we tell people what sex really is about!

The article talks about the 1992 show called Sex (and seriously, there's no way it was THAT long ago!) where advertisers refused to be associated with the show, and after the first season, the presenter quit (it doesn't say why; but I wonder if being the host of the show caused a backlash for Sophie Lee?) and after another season the show was dropped because of the backlash.

I used to watch Sex, avidly. I think I've mentioned it in posts on here before. It wasn't a sensationalised show, it was informative and educational. We used to discuss it in the office at work, and I know sometimes we were educated by the segments that had been on.

As a society, we're hopeless at discussing sex in a matter-of-fact way. We treat it as something to be hidden, ashamed of, embarrassed by. When we're becoming so brave and starting to discuss domestic violence, and mental health, and other formerly taboo subjects, it's about time someone took a leading role and began to talk about sex openly.

Sex education needs to be freely available, especially for teens today. Porn is so readily available, yet often doesn't give positive sexual messages. I hope Channel 9 and Sex Ed does that. I hope they pave the way for Australian society to became more accepting and more open to sex discussions.

I for one will be avidly watching Sex Ed, and hopefully discussing the show with others - or at the very least I'll discuss it on here!

Wildlife Wednesday - Bonking Bugs

In the lead up to Christmas, I thought we'd celebrate with some bonking animal style!

When I was at uni, we used to do collections, one was for insects, and one of the guys joked that you got extra points for bonking critters but they had to still be joined. We all laughed.

But that comment has stuck in my mind (you know, those things have a habit of sticking!).

Every time I happen across bonking critters, I get this flash through my mind of, "Well, extra points today, Cate." If I catch it in a photo, I give myself an extra point again. I don't have a lot of points because it's not something I see often and because of that, it's special.

I think sex is sacred too...it's what animals are driven to do, to procreate. It's specially and specifically timed to give optimum chance for offspring. It's driven by pheromones, seasonal conditions, peak performance and health of the animal. It's not random like it often is when humans have sex.

And so, my celebration of bonking begins with two Harlequin bugs. I found a fun post about them here, with lots more mating shots. It's a gardening post, so you shouldn't get taken anywhere awful!

Cover Reveal - Down & Dusty: Lucky

Today I can let you into my other secret. There's another Escape Secret Confessions series with hot, hot stories! This time, instead of rich Sydney housewives, or Rock Stars, we're sharing stories from the outback.

Presenting: Secret Confessions Down & Dusty - Lucky



They say that no one has secrets in a small town – these women prove them wrong.
Eight brand-new stories from some of Australia's hottest writers in Australia's hottest genre. From the bar stools of the local pub to the wide open plains of the biggest stations in the world, these tales travel the dusty roads to the heart of Australia and the women who understand how to work hard – and play even harder.In the latest in the wildly successful Secret Confessions series from Escape Publishing, the women of Down & Dusty invite you into their lives – and their bedrooms.
As the single female owner  of Milpinyani Spring’s only pub, Lucky has learned that her behaviour has to be above reproach. She works hard at home, and when she needs to play hard, she does so – far away from the prying eyes of her neighbours and friends. So when the hot new cop swaggers up to bar, she knows the rules: look, don’t touch. But Dare doesn’t know how to play her game, and he’s about to show her that the only rules that count are the ones that you break. 


I loved writing this story because it merged my two selves - rural and erotic. Although, there's not a huge rural flavour, I hope there's a hint of the bush, the isolation of a small town, and the secrets that happen even when it's dusty!

I really love the clouds, the light and the tree in this cover - and the bloke's a bit of all right too ;)

If you want to know more about this series, or find out the other books in the series (there are 7 more), you can go to the Escape webpage for more series information.

Phallic Friday - What would you like me to do?

This article on the news.com.au website got to me this week. It's an article all about the question women find too difficult to answer - What would you like me to do? (sexually, to you)

It horrifies me that women cannot answer that question. What does it say about society's attitudes towards women and sex? It shows that women are uninformed about the choices available to them. It shows that not only do they not know the choices, but they've never discussed the choices with others (men or women). Or at least the writer of the article hasn't - although I don't think she's alone with her views.

I led a rather sheltered life. I was brought up in a conservative household, with parents who held strong religious beliefs. But I was lucky in that we were raised to be independent, to think for ourselves, and to analyse what we were taught/told.

In high school, I did sewing (because Mum was awesome at all sorts of craft, including sewing) and it was one of the best subjects I did - not because I learned to sew, but I was in a group where we could sit around and chat while we worked. The girls in my class were so much more worldly than me, and I absorbed everything they said. We were together between the ages of 13 and 16, and some of the girls in this group were sexually active in this time and, man, were my eyes opened. I learned things in that class that I'd never have heard elsewhere. I don't know if I ever spoke, but I soaked it all in like a sponge, then it filtered through my brain and was stored for later use.

In my 20s I met a guy who was so incredible interested in all aspects of sex, it kind of blew my mind. We started by discussing agriculture (I was doing study on soils; his was on sheep sperm) and ended up discussing every topic you could possibly imagine and more. We were scientists, so we discussed clinically at first, before a trust developed and we could speak more personally. He was very much into sexual equality. And was quite horrified, and unbelieving, about how sheltered many women's sexual lives were. He was always saying things like, "But don't you talk to your girlfriends about this stuff?" That made me realise how little women talked about sex (except in sewing class!).

I began to talk about sex more after that. Slowly. It's not something you can just bowl right in and start yarning about! But slowly my friends and I began to talk about sex. We discussed the merits of different acts, and how different people changed your reactions. Usually we were drunk when we had these D & Ms!

I think these events (and many others) led me to writing erotic stories. As women, we need to be aware of sex, we need to know what we like and what we don't. We need to know our limits. We need to know where we might like to explore. We need to be able to have discussions with friends, maybe even sober, and we need to know what we'd like a man to do to please us.

With books, you can read as many and varied sex scenes as you like. Let your imagination go wild while you read. What turns you on? What scares you? What makes you curl your lip and/or nose up? What makes you want to try it? What makes you want to steer well away?

Read and explore with words. They're powerful. Open your mind to that.

Then start to know your body.

Maybe even explore.

And when the next guy asks you want you'd like... come up with a list and work your way through it!

And maybe think about keeping that guy - the ones who care what you want aren't so easy to find! :)

Tonight She's Yours

Back in August, I wrote a post about cuckolding (here). I'd been doing a lot of research on it because I'd seen Rose Caraway send out a request for submissions to this anthology she was planning. It intrigued me. She'd earlier had a submission process for her Sexy Librarian book but I hadn't got a story written in time. I was determined to make it for this one. The trouble was that I was caught in the historical sense of cuckolding and I needed to update the terms!

A few years ago I was in a Rachel Kramer Bussel anthology - Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex - and Rose Caraway was responsible for bringing this anthology to the ears of readers. She produces audio books. I downloaded it at audible and her voice brought Pain Surfer to life. I thought I'd written a blog post about that but I can't find it if I did. I'm an Aussie and Rose is American, so immediately the accent threw me but once I got over that, she was good. Sexy. Sultry. She sold the story with her intonation, pauses, and melodious tone.

Over the last few years, Rachel has said how well her anthologies have sold as audiobooks because of the narration by Rose. It's that kind of 'publicity' that's priceless. As an Aussie introvert, promo is difficult. Promo into the USA is almost impossible. To be included in an anthology like this is amazing and gives me hope that I might reach a new audience.

More than that, though, being accepted for publication is a thrill. It's someone choosing your words, your character, your story. It's validation. It means you've connected with someone. Connecting with readers is what we all aim to do. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I'm so thrilled that this story connected with Rose. I can't wait to hear my story read in her sexy voice :) (It will be an ebook also - but the novelty of audio excites me still!)

Wildlife Wednesday - St Andrew's Cross Spider

Spider's webs intrigue me, but none more than this one. I mean check out that zig-zagging...it's better than a sewing machine!

You can find out about them at the Australian Museum's website here.

They're named after the patterns they make in their web. The yellow and red on the abdomen indicate that this is a female - the males and smaller and brown and cream.

Oh, you mightn't see these in WA, Lily, as it says they're only in NSW, Qld and Vic.

Mating occurs from summer to autumn. The male sits in the corner of the web and attracts the female by vibrating a mating thread it's previously attached to the web. If the female is unreceptive, she may attack him. If not, mating occurs and the egg sac is placed into these threads often among leaves.

I have lots of spiders in my yard and I really enjoy them. Mr E on the other hand is quite terrified of spiders and does this incredible panic-dance when he touches a web. I really do try not to laugh, but I usually fail!

Sunday Story

I'm griping today. I read a book this week that is not erotic, and maybe more a literary type book than genre, but it could slip into romance. I don't think I'll give the title because I don't want to be an author-basher or completely negative about this book.

There's a female lead character who's 29 and one of the best midwives in the district with almost as much education as a doctor. Okay, so health worker, knowledgeable, expert in her field.

She's pregnant, won't name the father, and has hidden the pregnancy for as long as she can (30 weeks I think it was).

So far, I was doing okay.

But as the book progressed I started to lose it a bit and by the end I was really shaking my head.

Within an eight month period, she has unprotected sex with at least 3 men (2 of whom are sexually active - we know that for sure because it's discussed). The reason for this is that she has PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) and can't fall pregnant...but I feel it's an author invention, to create uncertainty over the father's identity. Not only that, I feel the author has chosen poorly to do this.

Why isn't this health professional worried about having safe sex to be safe from any other risk factors, like sexually transmitted disease? We don't have safe sex just to stop pregnancy, not now days.

What really irks me is that she's a health professional and highly educated. She should know this. And 2 of the men are also health professionals - why don't they know it too?

To me that's a wrong premise. So wrong.

I know it's a work of fiction, but we're using a real profession, a real education system, and the story is showing that health professionals don't practice safe sex. That's wrong.

It's the wrong message to give to readers.

It's the wrong way to be showcasing health professionals.

I wouldn't be so riled up if these people weren't involved in occupations where they would be very well aware of the possible consequences of unsafe sex. The story relied heavily on showing how accomplished this girl was in her chosen field...yet her life showed the opposite.

Maybe I'm being overly picky because this safe sex thing is a topic I've wrestled with and have adopted (except when I forget and my crit partners notice!) - so maybe I'm a bit like a reformed smoker banging on about the risk factors of smoking. Usually I can glance over it - in this case, I just can't. It's just wrong premise for the chosen characters, in my opinion.

Does this premise bother you?

Phallic Friday - tradies

I'm late, again. So sorry (esp. Lily) but I think I have a good excuse. You see, last night we had electricity issues and I had to shut down way earlier than expected and my post was still in limbo.

A tree came down next door and landed on the power line to their house with such force it ripped their house as the extra wire was dragged out of insulation and fascia board, and then the powerpole moved about 3 inches in the sand and had a 20 degree slope towards our houses. Fortunately our powerline just danced a merry dance as all this happened. And how do I know? Because I was about 2 m from the front door when I heard the snap and as I ran outside the tree hit the ground and I saw the powerlines dancing. So, I turned around and went through the house and out the backdoor, still not knowing what happened. The trees on the other side of us are humungous and I didn't even think of the old Banksia in the other neighbours.

So, anyway, after all that excitement, the electricity mob turned up to sort out our issues. At first I thought the guy was too young and blase to know what he was saying. It seemed like a disaster - live wires on the ground under a tree, us on one side, neighbour on the other, with a precariously balanced pole. Recipe for disaster in my book. But not his. He talked through the options as calmly as if nothing had happened. He called a mate to help with the pole. Then he set to work.

He pulled this baby chainsaw from his ute. We all sniggered - me, Mr E and neighbour. Then he and baby got to work - and could they work! No more sniggering at chainsaw. It cut through that tree like a knife in hot butter. Mr E and I were only just keeping up with his cutting and our removal. And this guy could use his baby. Just as cool as you like slicing. No fuss. No extra energy. Just sweet as. It was a pleasure to watch a master at work.

Then his mate came in the bigger truck. In a little break I asked if this was a common problem. Yep, they get one or two a day! So no wonder it was a well-oiled machine at work here.

Once the tree was chopped and stacked (he did have to use the larger chainsaw for the trunk) they got to work on the pole, shimmying up an extension ladder right to the top to check out the lines and insulators and wedges and stuff. I've no idea, it was almost dark by then, but they had safety harnesses and they tied themselves off to the pole and the ladder was tied to the pole, and it was fascinating! Then they winched the pole straight using the ute-mounted winch. Yep, 1001 things you can do with a winch! If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't believe it. They rammed the sand back in around the pole and voila! It was like nothing had happened.

The tree fell just after 6 pm, by 8.30 pm we were inside with everything fixed. It was amazing. The two guys were incredible - calm, efficient experts. And that made me realise why tradies are so sexy in romance novels - they know what they're doing. They go about their business calmly and in a manner that exudes confidence (even when you think they're daft). They have safety measures but they treat them so matter-of-factly that you accept it as part of the job, nothing special. They do their work - get in, get out - with such efficiency you can't help but be impressed. And that's why tradies make great, sexy, heroes.

I might need to write some tradie stuff now!!

(PS No photos, because it was going on dark, which is a shame. You would have liked them - men and their poles!)