Randy Alcorn's Blog, page 90

How One Mom Prayed for Her Prodigal Child, and Her Encouragement for Other Parents

Many people have experienced the pain of a child who has walked away from Jesus. Just recently I received a message from a mom who is heartbroken over the choices of her grown child. The following article was written by a dear and godly friend of our ministry, in response to someone who asked how she prayed for her son throughout his years of wandering. I think it will be of great encouragement to Christian parents who are grieving over and praying for their prodigal children. —Randy Alcorn

If you’re reading this and have a prodigal child in your life, I’m sorry for the heartbreak you are likely experiencing. Your child is very blessed to have someone like you who is willing to significantly invest in their life with prayers on their behalf before a compassionate and merciful God—a God who hears and answers prayers.

I’ve been asked how I prayed for my prodigal. I’d like to also share some thoughts about my journey through these prodigal years, as these trials are used by God to not only bring about change in the prodigal but also in the lives of the parents. He can use these trials to grow us in Christlikeness and to bring Him glory, if we are willing.

Having a prodigal child has been the worst trial that my husband and I have experienced in our lives. It was a very painful and heart-wrenching time for us with a lot of emotional stress, anxiety, and loss of sleep. Early on we tried to talk with our son, reason with him, and plead, but to no avail. His heart was bent on following his friends and the ways of the world. We chased after him and also protected him from some of the consequences. We eventually learned that we needed to let him have the total burden of the consequences.

Telling others about our prodigal was difficult for many reasons. I soon realized that we needed others to come alongside of us to pray for him and to help us carry our burden. I asked God to provide those who would have a heart to pray for him. We were blessed to have some who actually prayed for him every day and many others who prayed for him regularly too. We are so grateful for all who have prayed.

At some point we realized we couldn’t change our prodigal’s heart—it’s the work of the Holy Spirit to bring about permanent change in a person’s heart, which results in changed behavior. We also realized that the most important thing we could do was to support him with unconditional love and persistent prayers and to persevere and not give up because of weariness. We made an effort to keep communication open by trying to have regular conversations with him and encourage him whenever we could. We also made an effort to connect by expressing love with our words, touch, and hugs, as well as speaking truth into his life. Certain expectations and guidelines were put into place that he had to live by to remain in our home (having a job or being enrolled in school, showing respect, not using drugs and alcohol, etc.) and, if he chose to reject them, then he was choosing to find a different place to live.

There were times during the eight-and-a-half-year journey that it seemed impossible that he would ever surrender his life to Christ. We learned that when we had our eyes on our prodigal it seemed impossible, but when we had our eyes on God everything changed to being very possible because of God’s power. We entrusted our son to Jesus, “For with God nothing will be impossible” (Luke 1:37). When I would become burdened and overwhelmed with fear and anxiety, I would pray and sometimes picture myself laying him at the foot of the cross or on the altar before God.

Even when we don’t see much visible evidence of change happening in our children, I’m reminded of something that John Piper said at a conference I attended: “God is always doing 10,000 things in your life (or others), but you may only be aware of three of them.” God is sovereign and He is working. Thank Him for what He’s doing, that you can and can’t see in your prodigal’s life.

I found that reading stories of other prodigals who returned to the Father was of great encouragement to me. Stories about Andrew Palau, Franklin Graham, Augustine, and others demonstrated how God powerfully answered the prayers of their loved ones and how He used the prodigal’s life for His glory.

It wasn’t long into our journey before I realized that God was calling me to also pray for other prodigals and their parents. I began by praying for my son’s friends and their parents and added others as I felt God’s leading.

It’s a spiritual battle, not against human beings but a battle against spiritual powers of evil. Ephesians 6:10-20 says we are to be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might. We need the power of God to stand against the evil forces of darkness using the armor of God.

When I read and study Scripture, I love to pray back to the Lord what touches my heart. When the Spirit brought my son to mind while in the Word, those were precious prayer opportunities that I really cherished.

I like what Al Mohler has to say about the key to effective prayer: “Although the Bible offers a great deal of guidance on how we can deepen our communication with the Creator, effective prayer has more to do with the one doing the praying than it does with how we are to pray.” Scripture says, “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” (James 5:16), and the, “Eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer” (1 Peter 3:12; Psalm 34:15), and, “The prayer of the upright pleases Him” (Proverbs 15:8).

In 2 Chronicles 20, Jehoshaphat called his people to pray and fast when a vast army of enemies was coming against him. He inquired of the Lord and sought His help, realizing he had no power to face the enemy. He cried out to the Lord in their distress to save them and said, “We don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” They praised God for the things He had done and what He can do because of His power. “Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you.” The Lord said to them, “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” So they worshiped God and praised Him with voice and song. The Lord set ambushes against their enemies, and they were defeated. My husband and I have used this idea in seeking the Lord related to our son or other major things in our lives. We have also set aside one meal a week to pray and fast for our children and grandchildren, as well as other things and people we are led to pray for. (This idea came from Dr. James and Shirley Dobson.)

When we focus on God’s character and power through praise and worship of Him, it’s amazing how our focus changes and worry and fears flee away. Praying and singing praise songs was helpful in this way too.

The following verses were meaningful to me through these years and encouraged my prayers.

God’s sovereignty:

 “You have kept a record of my wanderings. Put my tears in your bottle. They are already in your book. Then my enemies will retreat when I call to you. This I know: God is on my side.” (Psalm 56:8-9)

 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)

“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.” (Job 42:2)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

“God works all things according to the counsel of His will.” (Ephesians 1:11)

What the Lord will do:

“Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress.” (Psalm 107:19)

 “The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.” (Psalm 34:17)

“Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.” (Psalm 107:6)

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

Faith and Trust in Him:

“Turn all your anxiety over to God because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

 “Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.” (Psalm 37:5)

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

 “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)

 “The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” (Psalm 9:9)

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

 “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” (Psalm 56:3)

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:26)

“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:3)

Facing Trials:

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. Fix your eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)

“In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (1 Peter 1:6-7)

Dependence on the Lord:

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5, emphasis added)

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

“For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you.” (Isaiah 41:13)

“Pour out your heart like water before the face of the LORD, lift up your hands toward Him for the lives of your children.” (Lamentations 2:19)

“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)

Some Bible verses that greatly encouraged me, and I have prayed for prodigals:

“For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little. Those who have been forgiven much, love much.” (Luke 7:47)

 “But when God, who set me apart from my mother’s womb and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles…” (Galatians 1:15-16)

The above verses from Galatians are Paul’s testimony when he’s preaching the gospel. He tells the people that God set him apart from his mother’s womb and called him by His grace when He was pleased to reveal His Son to him. Before God called him, he was zealously persecuting the church. When I heard this verse shared by someone in light of God’s perfect timing in bringing people to Christ, I was struck that God may even bring prodigals to a surrendered life after a season of rebellion in His sovereignty and perfect timing for His purposes. This gave me peace.

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.” (Ephesians 1:18-19)

“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you.” (Ezekiel 36:26-27)

“Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear.” (Isaiah 59:1)

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten.” (Joel 2:25)

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

“You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” (Psalm 32:7)

“He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains.” (Psalm 107:14)

And finally, Luke 15:11-32, the Parable of the Lost Son, was a great encouragement.

Other Resources:

Prayers for Prodigals: 90 Days of Prayer for Your Child by James Banks was the prayer guide that I used the most.

I loved it because he uses Scripture-based prayers. He says, “Prayers for Prodigals will help you pray and remind you of the power of God to answer prayer for your prodigal child. Some of God’s best lessons are His most challenging. When we come to the end of our own strength, we learn to rely on His. Through prayer He takes us by the hand and leads us to fresh places of grace that we never have seen if the challenges had not come.”

Three Ways Parents Can Pray for Their Prodigal Children

12 Ways to Love Your Wayward Child

Six Ways to Love a Wayward Child

Seven Things to Pray for Your Children

Loving Your Prodigal

Ministering to the Prodigal Son or Daughter

Loving the Prodigal Child

May you experience closeness to God, and His comfort, strength, hope, and peace as you pray for your prodigal!

For more related to parenting with grace and truth, see Randy’s book The Grace and Truth Paradox.

Photo by Luca Baggio on Unsplash

Meet Dr. Mildred Jefferson, First Black Woman to Graduate from Harvard Medical School and a Passionate ProLife Advocate

In honor of Black History Month, Live Action produced a video featuring Dr. Mildred Jefferson, the first Black woman to graduate from Harvard Medical School, in 1951. I had heard of her before but had never seen her speak. She is articulate and exudes an inner strength and conviction that’s remarkable. I can see how she succeeded in persuading Ronald Reagan to become prolife and oppose abortion.

I read these words in an article about her death in an October 2010 New York Times. I’ve heard many excellent prolife speakers and tend to agree: “She probably was the greatest orator of our movement,” Darla St. Martin, co-executive director of the National Right to Life Committee, said Monday. “In fact, take away the probably.”

Having met many prolife advocates over the decades, I find myself wishing I’d met Mildred, and hope that I will meet her in a far better world and hear her stories over great meals in God’s kingdom. I am rarely so moved by the piece of history reflected in this video. Dr. Jefferson’s voice is timeless, and she needs to be heard today more than ever. Her message is pro–child, pro–woman, pro-African-American, and just plain pro-human. I wept at the eloquence and above all the truth and power of her words. Just listen and I think you’ll see why.

Here’s the transcript of her speech featured in this video, from 1978:

I became a physician in order to help save lives, not to destroy them. My earnest effort is to uphold medicine as a high calling, a sacred profession. The Hippocratic tradition, fused with the Judeo-Christian sanctity of life ethic, requires that a doctor demand of oneself a high standard of moral commitment and a code of disciplined personal conduct before undertaking the responsibility for another person’s life.

The United States Supreme Court’s 1973 decisions on abortion gave to my profession an almost unlimited license to kill when the High Court made getting rid of a baby a private decision between a woman and a doctor. The state may make regulations to the point of prohibiting abortion if it chooses only in approximately the last three months of pregnancy, and even then may make no law which would overrule a doctor’s medical judgment. There is a lure in this license which has a hook for the unwary doctor. The doctor who willingly accepts destroying life will have no grounds on which to object if the state should compel that doctor to destroy life. I will not accept the proposition that the doctor should relinquish the role of healer to become the new social executioner.

It is unconscionably unfair that the victim selected on which to test this social remedy of expendable lives is the most defenseless member of the human family—the unborn child, who cannot escape, cannot riot in the streets, and cannot vote. As a woman, I’m ashamed that the voices raised loudest in this demand to destroy the unborn children are those of other women. Blinded by an all-absorbing selfishness, these women are trying to force society to grant them rights without the responsibilities that our social contract demands, and privileges without the payment that our moral order commands. This is a difficult situation. The woman who willingly demeans the nurturing instinct and tries instead to deny or to cancel or destroy her own unique biological capability creates a new model of female being—one who isn’t changed into a man, somehow never quite grows into a woman, and becomes, in a metaphysical sense, a little bit less than human.

I am at once a physician, a citizen, and a woman, and I am not willing to stand aside and allow this concept of expendable human lives to turn this great land of ours into to just another exclusive reservation where only the perfect, the privileged, and the planned have the right to live.

Finally, if you want to know more about Mildred Jefferson, and I hope you do, here’s an 11-minute tribute from National Right to Life. It shares more about Dr. Jefferson’s life and legacy, including how she persuaded future president Ronald Reagan to become prolife. (In fact, during the first term of his presidency he wrote the book Abortion and the Conscience of the Nation, which I read immediately after its release. It was a joy for me to learn the role Mildred Jefferson played in influencing him and countless others.)

Browse more prolife articles and resources, as well as see Randy’s books Why ProLife? and ProLife Answers to ProChoice Arguments.

Sharing the Good News about Jesus Is a Joy, Not a Burden

Isaiah 52:7 says, “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness” (ESV). Here God tells us directly that as His followers, our mission is bringing everyone the “good news of happiness” about Jesus. This shouldn’t be seen as a grim duty, but as a sheer delight and a privilege for us to do so. After all, the gospel is the best news there has ever been or ever will be!

Consider these thoughts from Lesslie Newbigin (1909-1998), a British theologian, missiologist, missionary, and author:

There has been a long tradition which sees the mission of the Church primarily as obedience to a command. It has been customary to speak of “the missionary mandate.” This way of putting the matter is certainly not without justification, and yet it seems to me that it misses the point. It tends to make mission a burden rather than a joy, to make it part of the law rather than part of the gospel. If one looks at the New Testament evidence one gets another impression. Mission begins with a kind of explosion of joy. The news that the rejected and crucified Jesus is alive is something that cannot possibly be suppressed.  It must be told. Who could be silent about such a fact? The mission of the Church in the pages of the New Testament is more like the fallout from a vast explosion, a radioactive fallout which is not lethal but life-giving.

One searches in vain through the letters of St. Paul to find any suggestion that he anywhere lays it on the conscience of his readers that they ought to be active in mission. For himself it is inconceivable that he should keep silent. “Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!” (1 Cor. 9:16). But no where do we find him telling his readers that they have a duty to do so.

…[In] the sermon of Peter on the day of Pentecost…something is happening which prompts the crowd to come together and ask, “What is going on?” The answer of Peter is in effect a statement that what is going on is that the last day has arrived and the powers of the new age are already at work, and that this is so because of the life, ministry, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus. The sermon leads up to a climax in the citing of the Psalm 110 (Acts 2:34). Jesus, whom they had crucified, is now seated at the right hand of God until all things are put under his feet. This is the reality which all human beings must henceforth take into account. The real government of the universe, the final reality which in the end confronts every human being, is the crucified and risen Jesus.

And to the question “What, then, are we to do?” the answer is “Repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus.” To repent is to do the U-turn of the mind which enables you to believe what is hidden from sight, the reality of the presence of the reign of God in the crucified Jesus. …To be baptized is to be incorporated into the dying of Jesus so as to become a participant in his risen life, and so to share his ongoing mission to the world. It is to be baptized into his mission.

His mission. It is of the greatest importance to recognize that it remains his mission. One of the dangers of emphasizing the concept of mission as a mandate given to the Church is that it tempts us to do what we are always tempted to do, namely to see the work of mission as a good work and to seek to justify ourselves by our works. On this view, it is we who must save the unbelievers from perishing. The emphasis of the New Testament, it seems to me, is otherwise.

Even Jesus himself speaks of his words and works as not his own but those of the Father. His teaching is the teaching of the Father, and his mighty works are the work of the Father. So also in the Synoptic Gospels, the mighty works of Jesus are the work of God’s kingly power, of his Spirit. So also with the disciples. It is the Spirit who will give them power and the Spirit who will bear witness. It is not that they must speak and act, asking the help of the Spirit to do so. It is rather that in their faithfulness to Jesus they become the place where the Spirit speaks and acts.

—Lesslie Newbigin, The Gospel in a Pluralist Society (Grand Rapids, 1989), pages 116-118.

My thanks to Ray Ortlund for first posting part of this excerpt on his excellent blog .

For more on the good news of happiness, see Randy's book Happiness as well as his book Does God Want Us to Be Happy?

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

What About Those Who’ve Never Heard the Good News of Jesus?

The question of the eternal destiny of those who’ve never heard Jesus’ name is frequently raised.

God grants every person a lifetime (the length of which varies) to reform, to turn to Him for grace and empowerment. For those who die too young to place their faith in Christ, or who otherwise lack the mental capacity to respond to Him, many Christians throughout the ages have believed God may extend the atonement of Christ to cover them, as an act of grace. I agree. (I share more thoughts in this article.) Certainly, then, I believe He can take into consideration the unique needs and background and history of each person.

God gives people on this fallen Earth adequate opportunity to turn to Him. He has revealed Himself to us in the creation and in our conscience so that “men are without excuse” (Romans 1:20). Many people in a desperate time of need reach out and seek God. He says, “You will seek me and find me if you seek me with all your heart.”

Though Scripture makes clear that there is an eternal hell, and that the way leading to it is broad and the gate to salvation narrow (only in Christ), His desire to redeem all people cannot be questioned. Christ’s sacrifice for all is proof of that, as is the direct statement of Scripture: “He desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth” (1 Timothy 2:4).

Just as God went to great lengths to reach Cornelius with the gospel (see Acts 10), I believe God goes to great lengths to give people an opportunity for response, especially to any who genuinely seek Him.

If people respond to God, I believe He will send them further revelation of Himself through human agents, angels, direct intervention in dreams or visions, or however He chooses. I am completely convinced, for instance, that for decades the Lord Jesus has been appearing to Muslims in dreams, bringing many people to faith. The evidence is clear, repeated, and consistent. Open Doors USA says this:

In some of the toughest to reach countries like Iran, Pakistan, Afghanistan and so many others—we hear ongoing reports from our field workers about Muslims turning to Christ through dreams and visions. These dreams and visions don’t always lead to immediate conversions, but they often play a vital role in one’s journey toward Christ.

For example, they share this story:

We meet with Amir*, Rasha* and their two children, who fled from Homs. Proof of the extraordinary change lies in her arms sleeping—a five-month-old baby girl with the very Christian name Christina.

…The life of this family was and is still hard, but recently they found light in their life. “About three months ago, I was given a vision of Jesus Christ,” Rasha shares. “I was sleeping and all of a sudden I saw Jesus Christ in white. He said ‘I am Christ. You will have a beautiful daughter.’ I was eight months pregnant, and a month later we received our beautiful daughter.” At about the same time the husband had a dream, too. “I saw Jesus Christ. He was dressed in white. He said to me ‘I am your Savior. You will follow me.’”

Both Amir and Rasha made a bold decision after these dreams. “We decided to follow Him. We named our baby Christina. We left our old Islamic customs.”

*Names changed to protect identities

Of course, these miraculous dreams and visions in absolutely no way negate believers’ responsibility and calling to bring the gospel to those who’ve never heard:

“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? (Romans 10:13-15)

I share some more thoughts in this video:

Photo: Unsplash

Because Jesus Is Our Stability, We Can Be Open-Handed with Our Friends

We all have friendships. These can include genuine healthy ones, social media friendships, idolizing friendships, self-seeking friendships, and other friend-ish relationships. In her book Friend-ish: Reclaiming Real Friendship in a Culture of Confusion, Kelly Needham skillfully points us toward true biblical friendships. She shows us the beauty and necessity of biblical friendships and the ways friendships can assume the wrong place. With good-hearted and wise counsel, Kelly helps us see friendship as God intends it to be.

Hope you enjoy this excerpt from the book. —Randy Alcorn

When you are in friendship to give, you hold friends with open hands. Though this is one of the most challenging aspects of selfless friendship, it’s one of the most important. Because at the end of the day, we have no right to demand commitments from other individuals. While local churches do provide a committed community for us to be a part of…, as friends, inside or outside the church, we are individuals who answer to God.

Therefore, Christian friendship calls us to cultivate deep and meaningful relationships without individual obligations. This is the scariest part of friendship for most people. For many, it feels safer to wait until someone has committed to us before we share our hearts. But…the Bible gives us no space to create commitment or obligations in this arena. This is why Jesus must be our stability. It is our friendship with him that enables us to cultivate depth with others while remaining open-handed.

I have several really close friends who have recently moved away. We used to live five minutes away from each other, and now two of these women are on the other side of the Dallas-Fort Worth area (read: one hour away) and one is now twenty-five minutes away. Their respective moves have had a huge impact on the way we enjoy our friendships. The time and frequency with which we meet has been drastically reduced, something I’ve often grieved. But I have no right to demand that they continue to be present in my life in the same way they did when we all lived in the same town. I must hold them with open hands by allowing them the space to be obedient to God and to cultivate new friendships locally.

This happens all the time as friends of ours make familial transitions, get married, and have children and grandchildren. With each new season there are new responsibilities. And so with each new season there are new limitations and priorities. Our job in friendship is to be givers, seeking to fight for our friends’ obedience to God in these priorities, not take away from them by demanding they meet our needs.

The most Christ-like thing my friends have ever done for me is encourage me to obey God in new seasons by being flexible in what our friendship looks like due to the new responsibilities God gives me. They are only able to do this because their worth does not come from our friendship, but from Christ.

Our friends do not answer to us; they answer to God. He is their king, their Lord, their first loyalty. It is not right to put ourselves above God in others’ lives. If, in God’s purposes and sovereignty, he changes their season of life, their availability, their responsibilities, it is our role as a friend to encourage and support that, even if it means a loss for us. This is the sacrificial love we are called to in friendship.

Being open-handed also means we allow our friends to have other friends. We do not own them; they do not own us. They do not belong to us. So when and if new relationships crop up in their lives, we can celebrate that, not grieve it. And when seeing our good friends cultivate new friendships produces insecurity in us, we run to Jesus and take another drink of living water so that we can continue coming to the arena of friendship with a spirit of giving, not taking.

If being this open-handed in your friendships feels terrifying, it may be a sign that friends have too high a place in your life. When our souls are well fed at the fountain of living water, we can continue extending friendship through the ebb and flow of these life changes.

But being open-handed doesn’t mean being unemotional. The loss of a good thing is always worth grieving, and friendship is a really good thing. When a friend moves away, tears rightly reflect the value of that friendship. When new responsibilities in our lives limit our connectedness in certain friendships, sorrow is normal and good. Good friends grieve to be separated. As David wept to leave Jonathan, so we should grieve the losses we experience in friendship, but those losses should not undo us. Healthy friendship grieves with open hands, allowing and encouraging our friends to go where God leads. It’s when we tighten our grip and demand our friends stay near us that we can know our grief is not flowing from a good place.

Learn more about Kelly's book Friend-ish: Reclaiming Real Friendship in a Culture of Confusion.

Photo: Christianpics.co

God Has Given You a Unique Platform

If you are working a “secular” job, you are not second class in God’s Kingdom. You are no less called or gifted than a pastor or a missionary. Your ministry is to represent Jesus in your own sphere of influence and to provide financial support that enables others to do the work God equips them to do.

So if God has wired you to be good at what you do—whether business or art, manufacturing or farming, music or medicine, or anything that allows you to freely help the needy and further the cause of Christ—rejoice! This is a great use of your life.

Leaving your job for “full-time ministry” may not be a step up for the Kingdom of God but a step down. God may have given you the ability, right where you are, to help churches and missionaries reach those God has called them to, as well as the ability to reach others in your own unique sphere of ministry.

Whether you are a grocery clerk, an assembly line worker, a salesperson, a nurse, a flight attendant, a stay-at-home mom, or a professional athlete, or whether you have a primary ministry of prayer or encouraging people, God has given you a unique platform. In all likelihood, no pastor or missionary will reach your neighbors, teachers, coworkers, coaches, or teammates. We each have our own God-given mission fields to serve every day. So use your platform for the glory of God, and then give generously to the causes of evangelism, justice, and mercy that are close to His heart.

God doesn’t just call His people to the far reaches of the Earth for His Kingdom. He also equips many servants to support and supply workers and to meanwhile represent Him in their own territory right where they live and work. Whatever He has called you to do, do it with your whole heart, giving generously out of the overflow He’s entrusted to you.

May each of us live daily in such a way as to look forward to hearing the Lord say to us, when we meet Him face to face, “Well done, you good and faithful servant! . . . You have been faithful in managing small amounts, so I will put you in charge of large amounts. Come on in and share my happiness!” (Matthew 25:21, GNT).

Adapted from Randy's book Giving Is the Good Life.

Photo by Luis Melendez on Unsplash

The Faces of Choice Video Reminds Us Abortion Is About a Child, Not a Choice

I have met abortion survivors who have told me their stories, just as I have met people conceived in horrific acts of rape and incest. In each case these are precious people, made in the image of God, with the same value in His sight, and the same right to live as the rest of us.

The following powerful video, produced by Faces of Choice, features adults and children of different ethnicities but with one thing in common: they are abortion survivors. (The group had planned to have the ad shown during the Super Bowl, but Lyric Gillett, their founder, says Fox ultimately rejected the ad.)

May God use this video to awake viewers to the reality that abortion isn’t just another issue; it’s about a baby. It’s not about a choice; it’s about a child. It’s not about politics; it’s about a human being cre­ated in the image of God.

Browse more prolife articles and resources, as well as see Randy’s books Why ProLife? and ProLife Answers to ProChoice Arguments.

The Ethics of Ghostwriting: Does It Matter Who Actually Wrote a Book?

Years ago, I wrote a critique of the practice of ghostwriting in Christian publishing, which put me in multiple difficult discussions with publishers and ghostwriters alike. I also joined several dozen other Christian writers in signing a letter to our publishers expressing our ethical objections to ghostwriting.

Just what is ghostwriting? It’s when someone else writes a book that is credited to a celebrity as if he or she wrote it. The rationale is that because the real writer’s name isn’t well-known and marketable, the book won’t sell well unless it’s released under the celebrity’s name.

I’m not talking about the legitimate process of coauthoring, in which authors invest varying levels of work and expertise into the writing. Nor am I talking about books that, after being written, need substantial editing provided by the publisher. By ghostwriting, I’m talking about when the actual writer’s name is not on the cover, or when a person’s name is on the cover (even as a coauthor with the real writer) who did little or nothing to write the book. It’s perfectly fine to say this is a book about X written by Y. X’s name can be more prominent that Y’s since it’s about him or her. BUT what’s not fine, in my opinion, is to put X’s name as the author of the book when they’ve done nothing to actually write it.

I know of cases where the celebrity didn’t write a word and only skimmed through the book for the first time late in the editing process. The book may be about them or say things they agree with. But is it honest to present them as the book’s author?

Ask the average person what it means when a name is on a book cover, and they’ll tell you it means the person actually wrote it. That’s what book buyers believe. Hence, the book is sold to them under false pretenses. I’ve been told, “The ghostwriter knows what he’s agreeing to, and if he doesn’t need to see his name on the book, that’s up to him.” But the question isn’t what the ghostwriter or celebrity believes—it’s what the potential book-buyer believes, and is led to believe.

Isn’t it reasonable for both Christians and non-Christians to be able to buy a Christian book with the confidence that the person identified on the book and publicized as the author actually wrote it?

There have been some improvements in the years since we sent that letter to Christian publishers, but as the following article from WORLD News Group points out, there are still no industry standards. My thanks to journalist Jenny Rough for this carefully researched, well-written, and informative article. (And yes, Jenny actually DID write it!)

Invisible Hands

Anyone can be an author nowadays, but knowing who wrote the book may be a different story

by Jenny Rough

Writer Angela Hunt works fast. In her 30-year career, she’s published over 180 books. “I may not be the best writer in the world, but I do try to be fast and professional,” she says. In the early days, she took whatever assignments she could. “I wrote magazine articles, catalog copy, you know, anything anybody would pay me to write.” One day a ministry representative asked Hunt to ghostwrite the biography of a famous preacher. She accepted the gig, and her career as a ghostwriter took off.

Ghostwriting is when one person writes a book, but it’s published under somebody else’s name. It’s an umbrella term that covers two big branches. In the first, the writer’s name doesn’t appear anywhere on or in the book; the writer is a true phantom. In the second, the writer’s name appears somewhere, usually in the acknowledgments or on the title page, but credit isn’t obvious (here, some prefer the trendier term collaborative writer).

Ghosts write for authors who don’t have the time, desire, or ability to craft a book. Ghostwriter Frank Ball says a lot of people have no idea what it takes to write a book: “They assume, I can write this in my spare time over the weekend.” But writing a book involves multiple drafts of obsessively arranging and rearranging words, agonizing over sentence structure, and thinking deeply to develop a narrative arc. A speaker who excels at verbal communication doesn’t necessarily have writing talent. Same with Biblical counselors—they might be great at talk therapy, but their writing can be bogged down with clinical language. Ghostwriting has long been the standard practice of the industry in both secular and Christian publishing houses. 

You’ve probably heard of Gary Sinise, the Hollywood actor who played Lt. Dan in Forrest Gump. But have you heard of Marcus Brotherton? Brotherton wrote Grateful American, Sinise’s book about converting to Catholicism and his military service work. Over the years Sinise poured his time and energy into founding Steppenwolf Theatre Company and honing his acting chops, not his English composition skills. When it came time for his book, he looked for help. 

“It would have to be someone who could hear my voice and tune in naturally and easily to what I was trying to communicate,” Sinise says. Sinise and Brotherton had lengthy conversations over FaceTime and met in person four times so Sinise could talk out his story. Brotherton, who received title page and acknowledgments credit for Grateful American, has also written books for Atlanta megachurch pastor Louie Giglio. He describes his job as “taking a person’s work, whatever it is, and developing that into a written message.”

Not all authors are as transparent as Sinise, who talked openly with WORLD about the partnership. Literary agent Madeleine Morel works with about 100 professional ghostwriters, including a coterie of ghostwriters who specialize in what she calls “soft God” books in the Christian market. Her unscientific guess is that 60 to 70 percent of books on The New York Times nonfiction bestseller list are ghostwritten. Joey Paul, senior acquisitions editor for Thomas Nelson and Zondervan, thinks the practice is less common with Christian nonfiction books. (Paul defines ghostwriting more narrowly than Morel does and would exclude certain collaborative projects from the term.)

Adam Bellow, formerly of Broadside Books, the conservative nonfiction imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, says almost all politicians’ books are ghosted, and that Sarah Palin and Ted Cruz had ghostwriters for books he published. He notes that most ghostwriters earn about $30,000 to $60,000 for a book but that some may receive as much as $250,000 plus participation in royalties.

Having a skilled writer at the keyboard is smart, but critics of ghostwriting say trouble pops up when it’s unclear to book buyers that the author and writer are two different people.

Read the rest.

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

Addressing the Exodus of Young People from the Church

This article is well done and is on a vital subject I’m deeply concerned about: the numbers of young people leaving the church, in what this article calls “the church exodus crisis.” I encourage pastors, parents, and those serving with youth to read this and take it to heart. —Randy Alcorn  

Rediscovering Evangelism: Curbing the Exodus of Christian-raised Teenagers from the Church

This article was written by Samuel Bodnar , a junior at Indiana University studying journalism and religious studies. He conducted three interviews for a class project:

Isabella McCoy scowled at her church’s dusty, stained glass windows. No more early Sunday mornings. No more midweek Bible studies trapped beneath the church’s leaky and splintered floors. No more judgmental people who know little about their faith. She tried seeking answers from her parents, her youth group leader, even her pastor. Nobody answered her objections to the Bible. Nobody equipped her to defend her faith against non-believing friends. McCoy, a born and raised churchgoer, was done. She has joined the 70 percent of Christian-raised teenagers who have abandoned their faith. Prominent Christian figures hesitate on labeling students like McCoy as “Christian.” Once one joins the body of Christ and experiences His love and power, they never leave.

However, playing semantics with terminology distracts from a legitimate crisis getting worse by the day: young men and women raised in the church are walking away and few are returning.

Dozens of studies have highlighted the mass exodus of high school and college students from Christianity. Yet, few expound upon resolutions to this issue. Here are a few individuals within ministry-type occupations striving to stifle this trend with suggestions for students, parents, pastors and college ministries:

Jack Hibbs, Pastor of Calvary Chapel Chino Hills (CCCH) in Chino, Calif.

Christian-raised teenagers are not equipped, not involved with their church and not in a real relationship with Jesus, according to Hibbs. It is these deficiencies that allow skeptical students and college professors to easily rattle the beliefs of ill prepared Christians.

“We are putting them in the lion’s den without the pure fundamental of the Bible,” Hibbs says.

Not Equipped : Hibbs sees Scripture as the roadmap that guides everyone through taking opportunities and responding to tragedies. Without the proper navigation tools, however, students going into college will be unable to defend their faith or make disciples. According to a LifeWay survey cited in Ken Ham and Britt Beemer’s “Already Gone,” only ⅓ of Christian-raised college students who left the faith actually plan on returning. For this California pastor, parents and youth ministries must challenge students with the tough questions and provide resources they can learn and share.

Hibbs invites apologists to his congregation and encourages his high school pastor to teach apologetic tactics like the moral and cosmological arguments. He also challenges parents to read up on early church history and material that soundly defends the authority and inerrancy of Scripture.

“You’ve got to hand the baton,” he says.

Norman Geisler, the late author, theologian and founder of Southern Evangelical Seminary, joins Hibbs in the belief of passing the baton. For him, however, he reminds the body of Christ about answering— and teaching others to answer— with tact and humility.

“Humility is how it’s done and content is what’s being done,” he says. “We need to concentrate on winning the soul not the argument.”

Not Involved: Growing up, Hibbs’ church brought the congregation to the streets of Newport Beach for evangelizing. Initially, the experiences were uncomfortable and scary. Over time, however, they taught him about why Jesus sent His disciples to preach the good news without Him.

“Students need a faith that does,” he says. “They aren’t connected with active ministries and have never shared the gospel to see the power of God at work.”

Hibbs wants parents acting as vehicles. They should remind their kids that what they are doing glorifies God and to stop second guessing if sharing the gospel with strangers “feels right.”

“I want to be the most loving person in the world knowing I’ll be hated,” Hibbs says. “I want them to leave everyone with a picture of Jesus.”

No Relationship: When a believer shares their testimony, it often contains moments of doubt and struggles involving abuse, drugs, sexual urges, etc. No matter the sins before accepting Jesus, a redeemed son or daughter can articulate how God has transformed their heart throughout their “faith crisis.” “You can be religious because it’s recreational, cultural or convenient but that’s not what counts,” Hibbs says. “Overcoming a faith crisis involves a genuine encounter with Christ that changes them internally and externally.” A personal relationship with God follows from a healthy devotion life. Long time believers hear this echoed repeatedly but students going into college don’t know what it means. Youth pastors and parents should start and continue asking their students about their prayer life and how their actions reflect God’s heart to others. Hibbs believes if more students can acknowledge how God delivered them, they would be more grateful to Him and less resistant to serve, pray to and praise Him.

Jim Warner Wallace, author and apologist

As a cold case homicide detective, Wallace uses circumstantial evidence to carefully constructs his cases. Through analyzing eyewitness statements of people he never met and researching case information that’s decades old, he has been able to help convict men and women of their crimes. Interestingly enough, he did this job as an atheist during a portion of his career.

Although unanswerable questions can frustrate this detective, Wallace explains how examining Christianity’s direct and circumstantial evidence from nearly 2000 years ago brought him to Jesus.
“I had to remove presuppositional bias the same way we ask juries not to be locked in one side,” he says. “Today, believers need to take away the lame excuses and answer the objections of today’s age.”

What Wallace believes can help combat the church exodus crisis is a refocus on talking about evidence itself. He encourages incoming college freshman, their youth pastors and parents to familiarize themselves regarding objections brought against the faith and avoid first search results on Google. Proper preparation to answering objections is key.

“Give two whys for every what,” he says. “The internet is full of whats and pastors and parents should be able to convey why the student should care.” Christian-raised teenagers should distinguish facts from false information. They need to be coached on how to approach basic questions with well-constructed, reasoned responses. To do this, Wallace says a distinction between teaching and training should be made.

“Teaching imparts knowledge but training requires an activity,” he says. “We need to provide for our people by getting them involved in evangelism so they can do life together and serve actively.” By preparing the youth ministry groups of today to understand what it means to examine evidence, they will produce credible answers to raised objections. If mature believers encourage students to evangelise and properly understand the evidence behind their beliefs, Wallace thinks they will be well equipped to defend the faith and make disciples on their college campuses.

Dr. Frank Turek, author, apologist and founder of Cross Examined

Similar with Hibbs and Wallace, Turek recommends introducing apologetics at churches so the body of Christ can strengthen itself and be prepared to share it with the youth. That 70 percent margin, Turek believes, would probably decrease.

“Suppose the past 50 years churches had been teaching apologetics. What would the number of students leaving actually be?”

Exactly how much the exodus percentage would decrease is unknown. Nevertheless, Turek professes it would make a decent impact on the numbers. Throughout the year he travels the country giving presentations from his and Geisler’s book I Don’t Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist. The hope behind presenting through his Cross Examined ministry is showing church congregations and college campuses that Christianity is true beyond a reasonable doubt.

By fortifying the faith of believers and challenging skeptics to reconsider their positions, Turek and his ministry demonstrate the importance of taking the gospel to everyone. There is one issue, however, with presenting the truth behind Christianity. Teaching truth will only accomplish so much.

“I can’t force people to accept the truth,” Turek says. “I can’t force people not to deny the truth. You can’t bring everyone to Christ but you can bring Christ to everyone.”

Turek recognizes that some non-believers carry volitional reasons for why they reject Christ. Intellectually, the faith can make sense, but some suppress the truth so they can live the lifestyle they desire.

For Turek, he wants mature Christians to make sure that qualms with a particular aspect of Christianity are intellectual, not volitional. If it’s intellectual, apologetics and a firm biblical knowledge will help answer the questions. If the qualms are rooted in volitional reasons, Turek poses this question:

“If Christianity were true, would you become a Christian?”

Asking the youth in today’s churches and teaching them to use this question in their interactions with non-believers will help the body of Christ understand the position of non-believers and respond informatively. Along with Turek, fellow apologist Josh McDowell also acknowledges these non-believers’ reservations and encourages the body of Christ to speak the truth in love
moving forward, even in the face of negativity.

“Almost all other people in their faith are commanded to love the lovable, but as a Christian, you’re commanded to love the unlovable,” McDowell says. “It’s so great being a Christian.”

For more information about strategies to help you teach Christian worldview to the next generation, please read So the Next Generation Will Know: Training Young Christians in a Challenging World. This book teaches parents, youth pastors and Christian educators practical, accessible strategies and principles they can employ to teach the youngest Christians the truth of Christianity. The book is accompanied by an eight-session So the Next Generation Will Know DVD Set (and Participant’s Guide) to help individuals or small groups examine the evidence and make the case.

This article originally appeared on Cold-Case Christianity and is used with permission.

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

What Will It Be Like to See Our Savior Face to Face?

The God who lives in unapproachable light became approachable in the person of Jesus (John 1:14). In fact, it was Jesus Himself who made God visible to us: “No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known” (John 1:18).

Consider the dialogue between Philip and Jesus in John 14:8-9:

Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”

Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?”

Jesus also says, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God” (Matthew 5:8). This is all a precursor to what God promises we’ll experience after the resurrection, on the New Earth: “No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face” (Revelation 22:3-4).

“Without holiness no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14). For us to see God would require us to undergo radical transformation between now and then. And that’s exactly what will happen. By faith in Christ, God’s children already have His righteousness, which will allow us into Heaven (Romans 3:22; 2 Corinthians 5:21). Because we stand completely righteous before God in Christ, once we’re glorified and forever made sinless, we’ll be able to see God and live.

That’s why the most astonishing sight we can anticipate in Heaven is not streets of gold or pearly gates or loved ones who’ve died before us. It will be coming face-to-face with our Savior. To look into Jesus’ eyes will be to see what we’ve always longed to see: the person who made us and for whom we were made. And we’ll see Him in the place He made for us and for which we were made. Seeing God will be like seeing everything else for the first time.

I sometimes ponder what it’ll be like to see Jesus, to fall on my knees before Him, then talk with Him and eat with Him and walk with Him as a resurrected person living on a resurrected Earth. Like Job I’m struck with the realization that “I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!”

In my novel Deadline, the character Finney, having just entered Heaven, meets His Savior face to face:

At the back of the crowd stood one being glowing with a soft light that did not blind, but attracted and captivated the eyes. He smiled at Finney, who trembled with joy at the immediate realization of who it was.

This was the ageless one, the Ancient of Days, who is eternally young. He stepped forward.… He who had spun the galaxies into being with a single snap of his finger, he who could uncreate all that existed with no more than a thought, extended his hand to Finney, as if the hand he extended was that of a plain ordinary carpenter.… For the moment, it was impossible to look elsewhere, and no one in his right mind would have wanted to.

“Welcome, my son! Enter the kingdom prepared for you, by virtue of a work done by another, a work you could not do. Here you shall receive reward for those works you did in my name, works you were created to do.”

And then, with a smile that communicated more than any smile Finney had ever seen, the Great One looked into his eyes and said with obvious pride, “Well done my good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord!”

As the crowd broke out in cheers, Finney felt overwhelmed, and dropped to his knees, then flat on the ground, face down, as if the knees were still too lofty a position before the Lord of Heaven.

Deadline , Dominion , and  Deception on Sale from EPM

Right now, you can purchase Randy Alcorn’s novels Deadline, Dominion, and Deception for $8 each (53% off retail $16.99), plus S&H.

Offer ends Thursday, January 30 at 12 p.m. PT (noon).

“Great book (Deadline)! I read this years ago and loved it. I ordered this time for a gift. This book totally changed my perception of what the afterlife might be like. It is also just a very gripping storyline. I highly recommend it.” —Reader Review 

Photo by Florian Cario on Unsplash