Randy Alcorn's Blog, page 88

Life Is Hard, But God Is Greater

Live long enough and you will suffer. In this life, the only way to avoid suffering is to die. Unfortunately, most of us don’t give focused thought to evil and suffering until we experience them. This forces us to formulate perspective on the fly, at a time when our thinking is muddled and we’re exhausted and consumed by pressing issues. Those of you who have “been there” will attest that it’s far better to think through suffering in advance.

That’s why I’ve written a lot on this subject, in my big book If God Is Good, the medium sized devotional 90 Days of God’s Goodness, the small The Goodness of God, and the booklet If God Is Good, Why Do We Hurt?

Having given the subject a lot of thought and effort, I loved this article from Jason Helveston, an elder for teaching and vision at a church in Chicago and the author of Tell Me Everything: How Jesus Told Me His Story. —Randy Alcorn

Life is hard.

No matter who we are, we all experience difficulty. To be sure, the degree of life’s severity differs from person to person. As I write this, many around the world are experiencing heartbreaking realities.

In every season of our lives, in every place of our existence, there is tension and conflict. From the wrenching reality of losing loved ones to silly inconveniences like warm drinks getting cold and cold drinks getting warm, life is hard.

What’s more, when the difficulties of life show up we crave explanation. We cannot help but search for meaning in the face of tragedy and pain. This inclination is part of what makes us, us. When we can’t find answers we often come up with our own. And, if you’re like me, your answer is often not a good one. Consequently, our bad answers cause us to respond to pain in ways that can cause more pain to ourselves and others.

Four Reasons Life Is Hard

In an attempt to alleviate the complication of grief and find deeper meaning in our hardships here are four reasons life is hard, plus specific ways we can respond to our difficulties.

1. Life is hard because the world is broken.

The Christian story begins with the Creator creating everything (Genesis 1:1). Then creation rejects the Creator. And this rejection fractured the entirety of creation (Genesis 3:14–19). As a result, nothing is as it should be and life is made more difficult. We are all to blame for this brokenness because we have all rejected God and his goodness. So we each have a responsibility to confess our part in our fallen world and work together to seek the welfare of it, making our surroundings more reflective of God’s initial intentions.

God’s holistic restoration plan includes us! The good news is that God desires for us to join him now in making his plans for restoration, unity, and peace a reality (Colossians 1:15–23). Jesus suffered for his suffering world so that we would find holistic renewal in him, a renewal that will be completed when Jesus brings heaven and earth fully together in the age to come (Revelation 21:4).

Life is hard because the world is broken, but Jesus is restoring all things from the brokenness of the world by his power and through his people.

2. Life is hard because of you and me.

Sometimes our lives are hard because we are sinners (Romans 3:23). We make bad decisions — accidentally and willfully — and these choices make our lives a lot harder. Often, life is hard because we not only do evil things, but then don’t respond well when the consequences come (Proverbs 19:3). Life is not hard because of us all the time, but it is a lot more of the time than we care to admit.

No matter the sin it is vital that we do not simply say, “This is just who I am,” and fail to pursue revision. No. In this case we must confess sin and repent. That was the initial call to action of both John the Baptizer and Jesus (Mark 1:4, 14–15). Only on the other side of confession, repentance, and belief will the hardness of our sin be eased in Christ. In him we find true wisdom, righteousness, and redemption from our sin (1 Corinthians 1:30–31).

Life is hard because of you and me, but Jesus graciously forgives us when we confess that our sin has dishonored him and made life complicated and difficult (1 John 1:9).

3. Life is hard because of someone else.

Sometimes life is hard — not because the world is broken nor because we personally sinned — but because others sin against us. This is the story of Job (Job 2:7). This is the story of the man who was left for dead in the parable of the good Samaritan (Luke 10:25). This is the story of Jesus (Luke 23:34).

Jesus responded to the great need of humanity by allowing himself to take the position of a victim and bearing the sins and folly of the entire human race (Isaiah 53:5). Therefore, when we are victimized, we should remember that Jesus not only can identify with us in our unjust treatment. Since he put shame to shame on the cross, we also find power and cleansing in him.

Life is hard because of others. In love Jesus washes and cleans us when the sins of others have harmed us (1 John 1:7).

4. Life is hard because God is good.

Many of life’s difficulties are by design.

In his kindness, God has intentionally shaped the world in such a way that effort would be required to accomplish significant change, progress, and reward (2 Timothy 2:6). From the beginning, Adam is given a job to work the ground (Genesis 2:15) and to cultivate and shape creation. In other words, work showed up in the beginning. When embraced as a gift from God, work makes us stronger, more collaborative, smarter, more skilled, and so on.

In fact, there can be great joy in this aspect of the hardness of life because it matures us (James 1:2–4). Paul even writes that we should do whatever work we do as worship to the Lord and from the very center of who we are (Colossians 3:23). And so we should never pray away this type of difficulty; rather, we should embrace it, discern its purpose, look to Jesus, and pray to be made more like him through it all. Through many of life’s difficulties we are made more like Jesus. “We who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’s sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh” (2 Corinthians 4:11).

Life is hard because God is good. Jesus uses these hard things in life to make us strong and more like him. Praise God he does.

Life Is Hard, But God Is Greater

Here’s the point: life is hard, but there is always hope.

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. (2 Corinthians 4:8–10)

Life is hard for many reasons, but through it all we are being made more into the image of God. Jesus is greater than every hardship; he is victorious over every pain. All of life’s tragedies, sorrows, and iniquities should ultimately lift our gaze to the day when the sinful difficulties of life will be taken away and the formative tensions of life will only and fully point us toward the goodness and glory of Jesus. In other words, we should long for the day when our craving for meaning will be fully and finally satisfied in God himself.

This article originally appeared on Desiring God and is used with permission of the author.

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How to Cultivate Courage

God calls us all to do certain things that require courage (although He doesn’t call us all to do the same things). How do we cultivate it? It’s as simple as when we hear God speaking to us (through His Word, the counsel of others, and in our hearts when we feel a compulsion from the Holy Spirit) and telling us to do something, we do it.

Let's say you have an uncle who is resistant to the Gospel, and he’s been diagnosed with cancer. You feel God has laid on your heart to share the Gospel with him. Does it take courage to do that? Yes, it takes courage, but on the other hand, let’s compare it to the courage of a martyr, perhaps someone in the first century who was taken into an arena and killed for their faith, or people around the world who still the ultimate price for following Jesus. We can ask ourselves, “Is anything like that going to happen to me? What’s the worst-case scenario?”

I often ask myself when I’m sitting next to someone on the plane, If I share the Gospel with this person, what’s the worst that can happen? Are they going to disapprove of me? If they do, so what? Is it really that big of a deal?

I’ve found that the biggest hurdle is finding the courage to simply open my mouth and say the words. Once I start speaking and sharing the good news, it gets easier because now I’m committed to following through and to pleasing our Lord.

In observing the Christian community, I don’t think we have enough courage in our lives—I know I don’t. But in my experience, when I have followed the Lord step by step, He has provided the courage I needed in increments. He’s the one who tells us, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).  

It helps to remember that Jesus is the ultimate example of courage. I love how Tim Keller puts it: “If you think it takes courage to be with Jesus, consider that it took infinitely more courage for him to be with you. Only Christianity says one of the attributes of God is courage. No other religion has a God who needed courage.” May the Lord give us courage never to be ashamed to speak of a Savior who was not ashamed to die for us!

Sinclair Ferguson writes in Grow in Grace, “The fear of the Lord tends to take away all other fears… This is the secret of Christian courage and boldness.” If we fear God, we don’t have to be afraid of anyone else. We’re all going to fear somebody. The question is, who? Fearing Him alone gives us great courage because we want to do what pleases Him and hear Him say, “Well done!”

Another key to developing courage is to remember that on the other side of courage is great happiness. There is joy in sacrificing for Christ by doing things like standing up for the innocent and being bold for Christ. There is joy in giving away a large portion of your income, nursing a sick spouse, taking care of children, serving the needy, and sharing the gospel. In Acts 20:35 (the one saying of Jesus quoted outside of the Gospels that isn’t included in them) our Lord Jesus said it is more blessed to give than to receive. The word translated “blessed” means “happy-making.” There’s great happiness in doing what God has called us to do.

I share some related thoughts in this video, filmed several years ago at a Desiring God conference:

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If God Exists, Won’t He Need to Apologize to Us for Making Us Live in a World of Suffering?

We have great staff members at EPM, and one of those is Doreen Button. She has worked as one of my editors for many years and does an excellent job. She also serves with Life Impact Ministries, an outstanding organization that offers hosted places of rest, retreat, and renewal for ministry leaders. This was an important question that came to us, and Doreen’s response reflects not only her knowledge and communicative skill, but also her heart for people. —Randy Alcorn

Question from a reader:

If God exists, and I truly don’t believe he does, he will know that there are limits to human understanding. He was the one who created this confusion in which there is poverty, injustice, greed, and loneliness. He doubtless had the best of intentions, but the results have proved disastrous. If God exists, he will be generous with those creatures who chose to leave this Earth early, and he might even apologize for having made us spend time here.

Answer from Doreen Button, EPM staff:

Here is what I understand you to be saying:

God doesn’t exist, but if He did, life here on Earth should look much different than it does now.
God is responsible for everything that’s bad.
God will reward/commend those who commit suicide and He owes the rest of us an apology.

My first and most pressing question is, are you contemplating suicide? If so, I strongly urge you to reach out for help. Whether or not you believe in God, your life is precious and there is a reason He put you here. Yes, this world is a mess, but your early exit will not make it a better place for you or anyone else. Please, for your sake and the sake of those who love you, ask God to show Himself to you and give Him time to answer. (Here’s a link to one of Randy’s video messages discussing happiness, depression and suicide.)

There’s a reason the world is a mess and that reason isn’t God. He made a beautiful world and placed innocent people in it. We chose to ignore the rules He set in place to keep the world a beautiful place. We chose to set up and run our own kingdoms our own way and are reaping the considerable consequences. It is we who owe Him an apology. Yet, instead of wiping us out, He chose to take our guilt upon Himself in order to reverse the evil we set into motion.

Those who choose to follow Jesus instead of their own path enjoy the peace and freedom of living the way He made us to live. And one day they will receive what they want most: life with Him on the New Earth where all the old bad stuff will be wiped away. Those who continue to choose their own path doom themselves to depression and addiction and one day will also receive what they want: eternity without God. And since He is the source of all that is good, including love, kindness, and beauty, that eternity will be empty of all that is good.

God’s existence in the face of all that is wrong in this world is an age-old conundrum. Randy has written extensively on the topic, including his book If God Is Good…Faith in the Midst of Suffering and Evil. My favorite book on this topic is a smaller one distilled from If God Is Good, called The Goodness of God.

I encourage you to continue seeking God. Read about His life and what He says about Himself in the first four books of the Bible’s New Testament. He promises that when we seek Him with all our heart we will find Him (Deuteronomy 4:29).

Here is a link to a summary of If God Is Good that you might find helpful. You can search "suffering and evil" on EPM’s website and find several blogs and articles such as The Sentence Against God and Why Doesn’t God Do More to Restrain Evil and Suffering?

I’ve found the deepest happiness and fulfillment since choosing to follow Jesus and I wish the same for you.

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Four Reasons Christians Distinguish Between Happiness and Joy

When I was writing my book Happiness, I knew that the chapter on “What’s the Difference Between Happiness and Joy?” would likely prove to be one of the most controversial. To verify my assertion that joy and happiness are synonyms, I cited more than one hundred verses in various translations that use joy and happiness together, as well as numerous quotes from trusted Christian pastors, writers, and thinkers who use the two synonymously. (A summarized version of the chapter is available on my blog.)

Still, the idea that the two words are synonyms can be radical to many readers. In response to a post I shared about happiness, a sincerely concerned person wrote me, “Joy, peace, and contentment do not equal happiness.” To some, the difference between the two words is as central as believing in the deity of Christ or the resurrection!

In talking to believers and researching the two words, I think there are at least four reasons why Christians see a need to distinguish between happiness and joy:

1. Many believers have been frequently taught through books and sermons, or have taught others, that happiness and joy are two completely different things.

A pastor friend wrote to tell me why it would be a big mistake to write a book about happiness: “Happiness changes from moment to moment and is reflected by our moods and emotions. Joy is a spiritual peace and contentment that only comes from God and is strong even during times of sadness. God’s desire is not to make us happy in this life but to fill our lives with joy as a result of our relationship with Christ.”

The following is typical of the artificial distinctions made by modern Christians:

Joy is something entirely different from happiness. Joy, in the Biblical context, is not an emotion. . . . Joy brings us peace in the middle of a storm. Joy is something that God deposits into us through the Holy Spirit. . . . There is a big difference between joy and happiness. Happiness is an emotion and temporary; joy is an attitude of the heart.

Judging from such articles (and there are hundreds more out there), you’d think the distinction between joy and happiness is biblical. It’s not. But when something like this is repeated often enough, as it has been from the last half of the 20th century until now, it’s easy to see how it becomes widely accepted truth. Yet there’s a long, rich history of equating joy with happiness in Christ, as shown by writings from the Puritans, Wesley, Spurgeon, and many others. As just one example, consider these words of Charles Spurgeon: “May you so come, and then may your Christian life be fraught with happiness, and overflowing with joy” (“A Happy Christian” Sermon #736).

2. Many Christians believe it’s important to use words to clearly differentiate between the Christian’s experience of godly happiness (specifically called “joy”) and the world’s false happiness.

Oswald Chambers, who I love, was the first I found to speak critically about happiness and make it opposed to joy. Chambers wrote in his book Biblical Ethics, “Happiness is no standard for men and women because happiness depends on my being determinedly ignorant of God and His demands.” Unfortunately, because Bible teachers such as Chambers saw people trying to find happiness in sin, they concluded that pursuing happiness was sinful in and of itself. It’s true that as sinful people, we chronically seek happiness in sin, but the core problem isn’t seeking happiness but choosing sin instead of God.

As Christians, don’t we know that when Scripture speaks of peace, hope, justice, and love, it routinely attaches deeper and more Christ-centered meanings to those words than our culture does? By all means, we should explain that there’s a difference between Christ-centered, God-honoring happiness, and secular, sinful happiness!

Happy isn’t the only word with baggage. Love is commonly used in superficial ways, as popular music has long demonstrated. People say they love hamburgers, hairstyles, and YouTube. They “make love” to someone they barely know. Since the word love has been so trivialized, should we remove it from Bible translations and stop using the word?

Of course not. Instead, we should clarify what Scripture actually means by love, holiness, hope, peace, pleasure, and yes, happiness. We should contrast the meaning in Scripture with our culture’s superficial and sometimes sinful connotations.

So can someone have false, superficial, and ungodly joy? Of course! Just as happiness can be spiritual or unspiritual, so can joy. Isaac Watts (1674–1748), who wrote “Joy to the World,” spoke of “carnal joys.” Charles Spurgeon recognized the difference between false and true joy:

Christ would not have us rejoice with the false joy of presumption, so He bares the sharp knife and cuts that joy away. Joy on a false basis would prevent us from having true joy, and therefore, . . . the joy we may get may be worth having—not the mere surf and foam of a wave that is driven with the wind and tossed, but the solid foundation of the Rock of Ages! (“Christ’s Joy and Ours,” Sermon #2935)

Someone can have Christ-centered happiness or Christ-denying happiness. The former will last forever; the latter has an exceedingly short shelf life.

3. Other Christians don’t want to accept that we should experience happiness that touches our hearts and emotions perhaps because they don’t feel happy, and don’t want to be told it’s what God desires for us.

An e-mail I received from a Christian leader said, “In Scripture we find that God is not about the pursuit of happiness. . . .What, then, of the widespread ambition to be happy? Is it, perhaps, an ultimate idol meant by God’s Enemy to distract us from joy?”

So what’s our problem with happiness? Does it stem from anti-world Christoplatonism? Are we suspicious that someone who’s happy must be sinning? Is it because we think we’re taking the spiritual high ground? Do we feel like “We are above this happiness nonsense,” but since we all want to experience heart-felt happiness and delight, we just call it something else (in this case, “joy”)?

Perhaps we marginalize happiness because something inside us testifies that we—who were snatched from the jaws of Hell to Heaven’s eternal delights, who are indwelt and empowered by a happy God—should be happier than we are. Maybe by defining joy as unemotional, positional, or transcendental, we can justify our unhappiness, in spite of God’s command to rejoice always in Him. Maybe saying that joy isn’t happiness allows us to lower the bar and accept a downtrodden, cheerless Christian life. And if that’s the case, we need to evaluate whether our attitudes are in need of a major paradigm shift.

Of course, no treatment of joy and happiness should deny or minimize the importance of realism and sorrow in the Christian life. The happiness described in Scripture is all the richer because it doesn’t involve denial or pretense and can be experienced amid severe difficulty. Christ-followers don’t preach the flimsy kind of happiness that’s built on wishful thinking. Instead, our rock-solid basis for happiness remains true—and sometimes becomes clearer—in suffering.

4. Satan has vested interests in keeping us from embracing what Scripture teaches about God’s happiness and ours. By convincing us that we can achieve a “joy” that’s stripped of all happy emotion and warmth, he blinds us to the truth about the God-honoring happiness Christ intends for us.

The prophet Isaiah said of a human king who appears to also represent the devil, “How you have fallen from heaven, morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the earth” (Isaiah 14:12, NIV). Jesus was actually there when this event happened. He told his disciples, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven” (Luke 10:18).The devil has been unhappy ever since he rebelled against the God of happiness and was evicted from Heaven, the home of happiness.

Satan forfeited his own happiness, and he bitterly hates us—the objects of God’s love. His lie from the beginning was that God doesn’t care about our good. The truth is, God wants us to seek real happiness in Him.

The devil tempts us toward what will dishonor God by telling persuasive lies to convince us that the things that make us miserable will actually make us happy. After thousands of years of doing this, he’s remarkably good at it. Jesus said of Satan, “When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44, NIV).

Satan hates God, he hates us, and he hates happiness—God’s and ours. He’s not about happiness; he is about sin and misery, which come from seeking happiness where it can’t be found. God is the one who planted our desire for happiness and joy. 

So what difference does it make whether we see happiness and joy as synonyms?

To declare joy sacred and happiness secular closes the door to dialogue with unbelievers. If someone is told that joy is the opposite of happiness, any thoughtful person would say, “In that case, I don’t want joy!” If we say the gospel won’t bring happiness, any perceptive listener should respond, “Then how is it good news?”

We need to reverse the trend. My hope is that we can redeem the word happiness in light of both Scripture and church history. Our message shouldn’t be “Don’t seek happiness,” but “You’ll find in Jesus the happiness you’ve always longed for.”

Because this issue is so important, I’ve written a small hard cover book called Does God Want Us to Be Happy? that expands and develops the themes of this article.

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Keep Your Eyes on the Prize: Discipline, Endurance, and the Christian Life

I’ve been reflecting on 2 Timothy 2:3–7:

Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in civilian affairs, but rather tries to please his commanding officer. Similarly, anyone who competes as an athlete does not receive the victor’s crown except by competing according to the rules. The hardworking farmer should be the first to receive a share of the crops. Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this.

What do the solder, athlete, and farmer all have in common? They work hard. They discipline themselves, which means saying no to certain foods and habits, and sometimes saying no to sleep. But they say yes to keeping their end product in view—the farmer gets up before dawn because his eyes are set on the harvest; the soldier looks at the goal of being fit for battle that the war may be won; the athlete has his eyes on the prize, and therefore puts up with everything necessary (training included) to accomplish his goals.

We’re called to a life of endurance empowered by Christ, and accompanied by joyful thanksgiving. Endurance requires patience, because reward for today’s right choices will come, but it may be months or years from now, or not until we leave this world. Those who drum their fingers waiting for the microwave to finish demonstrate that patient endurance and discipline don’t come naturally.

“Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor’s crown unless he competes according to the rules” (v. 5). The “according to the rules” part isn’t mainly about avoiding penalties on the playing field. Rather, as one of the commentaries on the Logos software (Pastoral Epistles: An Introduction and Commentary) says,

This expression includes the idea ‘in the correct style’, applied to fully fledged athletes, professionals as opposed to amateurs. Each athlete for these Olympics had to state on oath that he had fulfilled the necessary ten months’ training before he was permitted to enter the contest. Any athlete who had not subjected himself to the necessary discipline would have no chance of winning and would in fact lower the standard of the Games. There were severe penalties imposed on any who infringed the rules.

Here’s what The New American Commentary says:

In 2 Timothy 2:5, Paul used the picture of the athlete to illustrate the importance of complete devotion and stamina in Christian living. Performing as an athlete demands a commitment to a regimen of training and to the rules for the game. Paul may have been emphasizing either or both, but the context appears to spotlight the self-discipline and stamina needed for training and preparation. He implied that the Christian athlete could expect suffering, but he also held out the promise of a prize for the committed devotee. The ultimate prize would come at the time of final judgment for the believer (2 Cor 5:10). The type of training that would prepare for this reward is godliness (1 Tim 4:7–8).

In the Pastorals, Paul had used athletic images in 1 Tim 4:7–8; 6:12 in order to emphasize that the Christian life demands the practice of self-discipline which affects both personal behavior and inner attitude. Christians must practice self-control. Each Christian must also have an inner preparedness to endure cheerfully the demands and hardships that spiritual commitment will bring. Paul made a similar point in 1 Cor 9:24–27.

If you want more, here are 9 minutes from a message related to this subject I did several years ago (the PowerPoint’s a bit funky, but at the time it seemed cool).

Or if you prefer, here’s a short blog on the cumulative effects of the small daily choices we make.

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How One Mom Prayed for Her Prodigal Child, and Her Encouragement for Other Parents

Many people have experienced the pain of a child who has walked away from Jesus. Just recently I received a message from a mom who is heartbroken over the choices of her grown child. The following article was written by a dear and godly friend of our ministry, in response to someone who asked how she prayed for her son throughout his years of wandering. I think it will be of great encouragement to Christian parents who are grieving over and praying for their prodigal children. —Randy Alcorn

If you’re reading this and have a prodigal child in your life, I’m sorry for the heartbreak you are likely experiencing. Your child is very blessed to have someone like you who is willing to significantly invest in their life with prayers on their behalf before a compassionate and merciful God—a God who hears and answers prayers.

I’ve been asked how I prayed for my prodigal. I’d like to also share some thoughts about my journey through these prodigal years, as these trials are used by God to not only bring about change in the prodigal but also in the lives of the parents. He can use these trials to grow us in Christlikeness and to bring Him glory, if we are willing.

Having a prodigal child has been the worst trial that my husband and I have experienced in our lives. It was a very painful and heart-wrenching time for us with a lot of emotional stress, anxiety, and loss of sleep. Early on we tried to talk with our son, reason with him, and plead, but to no avail. His heart was bent on following his friends and the ways of the world. We chased after him and also protected him from some of the consequences. We eventually learned that we needed to let him have the total burden of the consequences.

Telling others about our prodigal was difficult for many reasons. I soon realized that we needed others to come alongside of us to pray for him and to help us carry our burden. I asked God to provide those who would have a heart to pray for him. We were blessed to have some who actually prayed for him every day and many others who prayed for him regularly too. We are so grateful for all who have prayed.

At some point we realized we couldn’t change our prodigal’s heart—it’s the work of the Holy Spirit to bring about permanent change in a person’s heart, which results in changed behavior. We also realized that the most important thing we could do was to support him with unconditional love and persistent prayers and to persevere and not give up because of weariness. We made an effort to keep communication open by trying to have regular conversations with him and encourage him whenever we could. We also made an effort to connect by expressing love with our words, touch, and hugs, as well as speaking truth into his life. Certain expectations and guidelines were put into place that he had to live by to remain in our home (having a job or being enrolled in school, showing respect, not using drugs and alcohol, etc.) and, if he chose to reject them, then he was choosing to find a different place to live.

There were times during the eight-and-a-half-year journey that it seemed impossible that he would ever surrender his life to Christ. We learned that when we had our eyes on our prodigal it seemed impossible, but when we had our eyes on God everything changed to being very possible because of God’s power. We entrusted our son to Jesus, “For with God nothing will be impossible” (Luke 1:37). When I would become burdened and overwhelmed with fear and anxiety, I would pray and sometimes picture myself laying him at the foot of the cross or on the altar before God.

Even when we don’t see much visible evidence of change happening in our children, I’m reminded of something that John Piper said at a conference I attended: “God is always doing 10,000 things in your life (or others), but you may only be aware of three of them.” God is sovereign and He is working. Thank Him for what He’s doing, that you can and can’t see in your prodigal’s life.

I found that reading stories of other prodigals who returned to the Father was of great encouragement to me. Stories about Andrew Palau, Franklin Graham, Augustine, and others demonstrated how God powerfully answered the prayers of their loved ones and how He used the prodigal’s life for His glory.

It wasn’t long into our journey before I realized that God was calling me to also pray for other prodigals and their parents. I began by praying for my son’s friends and their parents and added others as I felt God’s leading.

It’s a spiritual battle, not against human beings but a battle against spiritual powers of evil. Ephesians 6:10-20 says we are to be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might. We need the power of God to stand against the evil forces of darkness using the armor of God.

When I read and study Scripture, I love to pray back to the Lord what touches my heart. When the Spirit brought my son to mind while in the Word, those were precious prayer opportunities that I really cherished.

I like what Al Mohler has to say about the key to effective prayer: “Although the Bible offers a great deal of guidance on how we can deepen our communication with the Creator, effective prayer has more to do with the one doing the praying than it does with how we are to pray.” Scripture says, “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” (James 5:16), and the, “Eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer” (1 Peter 3:12; Psalm 34:15), and, “The prayer of the upright pleases Him” (Proverbs 15:8).

In 2 Chronicles 20, Jehoshaphat called his people to pray and fast when a vast army of enemies was coming against him. He inquired of the Lord and sought His help, realizing he had no power to face the enemy. He cried out to the Lord in their distress to save them and said, “We don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” They praised God for the things He had done and what He can do because of His power. “Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you.” The Lord said to them, “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” So they worshiped God and praised Him with voice and song. The Lord set ambushes against their enemies, and they were defeated. My husband and I have used this idea in seeking the Lord related to our son or other major things in our lives. We have also set aside one meal a week to pray and fast for our children and grandchildren, as well as other things and people we are led to pray for. (This idea came from Dr. James and Shirley Dobson.)

When we focus on God’s character and power through praise and worship of Him, it’s amazing how our focus changes and worry and fears flee away. Praying and singing praise songs was helpful in this way too.

The following verses were meaningful to me through these years and encouraged my prayers.

God’s sovereignty:

 “You have kept a record of my wanderings. Put my tears in your bottle. They are already in your book. Then my enemies will retreat when I call to you. This I know: God is on my side.” (Psalm 56:8-9)

 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)

“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.” (Job 42:2)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

“God works all things according to the counsel of His will.” (Ephesians 1:11)

What the Lord will do:

“Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress.” (Psalm 107:19)

 “The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.” (Psalm 34:17)

“Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.” (Psalm 107:6)

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

Faith and Trust in Him:

“Turn all your anxiety over to God because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

 “Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.” (Psalm 37:5)

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

 “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)

 “The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” (Psalm 9:9)

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

 “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” (Psalm 56:3)

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:26)

“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:3)

Facing Trials:

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. Fix your eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)

“In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (1 Peter 1:6-7)

Dependence on the Lord:

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5, emphasis added)

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

“For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you.” (Isaiah 41:13)

“Pour out your heart like water before the face of the LORD, lift up your hands toward Him for the lives of your children.” (Lamentations 2:19)

“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)

Some Bible verses that greatly encouraged me, and I have prayed for prodigals:

“For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little. Those who have been forgiven much, love much.” (Luke 7:47)

 “But when God, who set me apart from my mother’s womb and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles…” (Galatians 1:15-16)

The above verses from Galatians are Paul’s testimony when he’s preaching the gospel. He tells the people that God set him apart from his mother’s womb and called him by His grace when He was pleased to reveal His Son to him. Before God called him, he was zealously persecuting the church. When I heard this verse shared by someone in light of God’s perfect timing in bringing people to Christ, I was struck that God may even bring prodigals to a surrendered life after a season of rebellion in His sovereignty and perfect timing for His purposes. This gave me peace.

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.” (Ephesians 1:18-19)

“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you.” (Ezekiel 36:26-27)

“Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear.” (Isaiah 59:1)

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten.” (Joel 2:25)

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

“You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” (Psalm 32:7)

“He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains.” (Psalm 107:14)

And finally, Luke 15:11-32, the Parable of the Lost Son, was a great encouragement.

Other Resources:

Prayers for Prodigals: 90 Days of Prayer for Your Child by James Banks was the prayer guide that I used the most.

I loved it because he uses Scripture-based prayers. He says, “Prayers for Prodigals will help you pray and remind you of the power of God to answer prayer for your prodigal child. Some of God’s best lessons are His most challenging. When we come to the end of our own strength, we learn to rely on His. Through prayer He takes us by the hand and leads us to fresh places of grace that we never have seen if the challenges had not come.”

Three Ways Parents Can Pray for Their Prodigal Children

12 Ways to Love Your Wayward Child

Six Ways to Love a Wayward Child

Seven Things to Pray for Your Children

Loving Your Prodigal

Ministering to the Prodigal Son or Daughter

Loving the Prodigal Child

May you experience closeness to God, and His comfort, strength, hope, and peace as you pray for your prodigal!

For more related to parenting with grace and truth, see Randy’s book The Grace and Truth Paradox.

Photo by Luca Baggio on Unsplash

Meet Dr. Mildred Jefferson, First Black Woman to Graduate from Harvard Medical School and a Passionate ProLife Advocate

In honor of Black History Month, Live Action produced a video featuring Dr. Mildred Jefferson, the first Black woman to graduate from Harvard Medical School, in 1951. I had heard of her before but had never seen her speak. She is articulate and exudes an inner strength and conviction that’s remarkable. I can see how she succeeded in persuading Ronald Reagan to become prolife and oppose abortion.

I read these words in an article about her death in an October 2010 New York Times. I’ve heard many excellent prolife speakers and tend to agree: “She probably was the greatest orator of our movement,” Darla St. Martin, co-executive director of the National Right to Life Committee, said Monday. “In fact, take away the probably.”

Having met many prolife advocates over the decades, I find myself wishing I’d met Mildred, and hope that I will meet her in a far better world and hear her stories over great meals in God’s kingdom. I am rarely so moved by the piece of history reflected in this video. Dr. Jefferson’s voice is timeless, and she needs to be heard today more than ever. Her message is pro–child, pro–woman, pro-African-American, and just plain pro-human. I wept at the eloquence and above all the truth and power of her words. Just listen and I think you’ll see why.

Here’s the transcript of her speech featured in this video, from 1978:

I became a physician in order to help save lives, not to destroy them. My earnest effort is to uphold medicine as a high calling, a sacred profession. The Hippocratic tradition, fused with the Judeo-Christian sanctity of life ethic, requires that a doctor demand of oneself a high standard of moral commitment and a code of disciplined personal conduct before undertaking the responsibility for another person’s life.

The United States Supreme Court’s 1973 decisions on abortion gave to my profession an almost unlimited license to kill when the High Court made getting rid of a baby a private decision between a woman and a doctor. The state may make regulations to the point of prohibiting abortion if it chooses only in approximately the last three months of pregnancy, and even then may make no law which would overrule a doctor’s medical judgment. There is a lure in this license which has a hook for the unwary doctor. The doctor who willingly accepts destroying life will have no grounds on which to object if the state should compel that doctor to destroy life. I will not accept the proposition that the doctor should relinquish the role of healer to become the new social executioner.

It is unconscionably unfair that the victim selected on which to test this social remedy of expendable lives is the most defenseless member of the human family—the unborn child, who cannot escape, cannot riot in the streets, and cannot vote. As a woman, I’m ashamed that the voices raised loudest in this demand to destroy the unborn children are those of other women. Blinded by an all-absorbing selfishness, these women are trying to force society to grant them rights without the responsibilities that our social contract demands, and privileges without the payment that our moral order commands. This is a difficult situation. The woman who willingly demeans the nurturing instinct and tries instead to deny or to cancel or destroy her own unique biological capability creates a new model of female being—one who isn’t changed into a man, somehow never quite grows into a woman, and becomes, in a metaphysical sense, a little bit less than human.

I am at once a physician, a citizen, and a woman, and I am not willing to stand aside and allow this concept of expendable human lives to turn this great land of ours into to just another exclusive reservation where only the perfect, the privileged, and the planned have the right to live.

Finally, if you want to know more about Mildred Jefferson, and I hope you do, here’s an 11-minute tribute from National Right to Life. It shares more about Dr. Jefferson’s life and legacy, including how she persuaded future president Ronald Reagan to become prolife. (In fact, during the first term of his presidency he wrote the book Abortion and the Conscience of the Nation, which I read immediately after its release. It was a joy for me to learn the role Mildred Jefferson played in influencing him and countless others.)

Browse more prolife articles and resources, as well as see Randy’s books Why ProLife? and ProLife Answers to ProChoice Arguments.

Sharing the Good News about Jesus Is a Joy, Not a Burden

Isaiah 52:7 says, “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness” (ESV). Here God tells us directly that as His followers, our mission is bringing everyone the “good news of happiness” about Jesus. This shouldn’t be seen as a grim duty, but as a sheer delight and a privilege for us to do so. After all, the gospel is the best news there has ever been or ever will be!

Consider these thoughts from Lesslie Newbigin (1909-1998), a British theologian, missiologist, missionary, and author:

There has been a long tradition which sees the mission of the Church primarily as obedience to a command. It has been customary to speak of “the missionary mandate.” This way of putting the matter is certainly not without justification, and yet it seems to me that it misses the point. It tends to make mission a burden rather than a joy, to make it part of the law rather than part of the gospel. If one looks at the New Testament evidence one gets another impression. Mission begins with a kind of explosion of joy. The news that the rejected and crucified Jesus is alive is something that cannot possibly be suppressed.  It must be told. Who could be silent about such a fact? The mission of the Church in the pages of the New Testament is more like the fallout from a vast explosion, a radioactive fallout which is not lethal but life-giving.

One searches in vain through the letters of St. Paul to find any suggestion that he anywhere lays it on the conscience of his readers that they ought to be active in mission. For himself it is inconceivable that he should keep silent. “Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!” (1 Cor. 9:16). But no where do we find him telling his readers that they have a duty to do so.

…[In] the sermon of Peter on the day of Pentecost…something is happening which prompts the crowd to come together and ask, “What is going on?” The answer of Peter is in effect a statement that what is going on is that the last day has arrived and the powers of the new age are already at work, and that this is so because of the life, ministry, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus. The sermon leads up to a climax in the citing of the Psalm 110 (Acts 2:34). Jesus, whom they had crucified, is now seated at the right hand of God until all things are put under his feet. This is the reality which all human beings must henceforth take into account. The real government of the universe, the final reality which in the end confronts every human being, is the crucified and risen Jesus.

And to the question “What, then, are we to do?” the answer is “Repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus.” To repent is to do the U-turn of the mind which enables you to believe what is hidden from sight, the reality of the presence of the reign of God in the crucified Jesus. …To be baptized is to be incorporated into the dying of Jesus so as to become a participant in his risen life, and so to share his ongoing mission to the world. It is to be baptized into his mission.

His mission. It is of the greatest importance to recognize that it remains his mission. One of the dangers of emphasizing the concept of mission as a mandate given to the Church is that it tempts us to do what we are always tempted to do, namely to see the work of mission as a good work and to seek to justify ourselves by our works. On this view, it is we who must save the unbelievers from perishing. The emphasis of the New Testament, it seems to me, is otherwise.

Even Jesus himself speaks of his words and works as not his own but those of the Father. His teaching is the teaching of the Father, and his mighty works are the work of the Father. So also in the Synoptic Gospels, the mighty works of Jesus are the work of God’s kingly power, of his Spirit. So also with the disciples. It is the Spirit who will give them power and the Spirit who will bear witness. It is not that they must speak and act, asking the help of the Spirit to do so. It is rather that in their faithfulness to Jesus they become the place where the Spirit speaks and acts.

—Lesslie Newbigin, The Gospel in a Pluralist Society (Grand Rapids, 1989), pages 116-118.

My thanks to Ray Ortlund for first posting part of this excerpt on his excellent blog .

For more on the good news of happiness, see Randy's book Happiness as well as his book Does God Want Us to Be Happy?

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

What About Those Who’ve Never Heard the Good News of Jesus?

The question of the eternal destiny of those who’ve never heard Jesus’ name is frequently raised.

God grants every person a lifetime (the length of which varies) to reform, to turn to Him for grace and empowerment. For those who die too young to place their faith in Christ, or who otherwise lack the mental capacity to respond to Him, many Christians throughout the ages have believed God may extend the atonement of Christ to cover them, as an act of grace. I agree. (I share more thoughts in this article.) Certainly, then, I believe He can take into consideration the unique needs and background and history of each person.

God gives people on this fallen Earth adequate opportunity to turn to Him. He has revealed Himself to us in the creation and in our conscience so that “men are without excuse” (Romans 1:20). Many people in a desperate time of need reach out and seek God. He says, “You will seek me and find me if you seek me with all your heart.”

Though Scripture makes clear that there is an eternal hell, and that the way leading to it is broad and the gate to salvation narrow (only in Christ), His desire to redeem all people cannot be questioned. Christ’s sacrifice for all is proof of that, as is the direct statement of Scripture: “He desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth” (1 Timothy 2:4).

Just as God went to great lengths to reach Cornelius with the gospel (see Acts 10), I believe God goes to great lengths to give people an opportunity for response, especially to any who genuinely seek Him.

If people respond to God, I believe He will send them further revelation of Himself through human agents, angels, direct intervention in dreams or visions, or however He chooses. I am completely convinced, for instance, that for decades the Lord Jesus has been appearing to Muslims in dreams, bringing many people to faith. The evidence is clear, repeated, and consistent. Open Doors USA says this:

In some of the toughest to reach countries like Iran, Pakistan, Afghanistan and so many others—we hear ongoing reports from our field workers about Muslims turning to Christ through dreams and visions. These dreams and visions don’t always lead to immediate conversions, but they often play a vital role in one’s journey toward Christ.

For example, they share this story:

We meet with Amir*, Rasha* and their two children, who fled from Homs. Proof of the extraordinary change lies in her arms sleeping—a five-month-old baby girl with the very Christian name Christina.

…The life of this family was and is still hard, but recently they found light in their life. “About three months ago, I was given a vision of Jesus Christ,” Rasha shares. “I was sleeping and all of a sudden I saw Jesus Christ in white. He said ‘I am Christ. You will have a beautiful daughter.’ I was eight months pregnant, and a month later we received our beautiful daughter.” At about the same time the husband had a dream, too. “I saw Jesus Christ. He was dressed in white. He said to me ‘I am your Savior. You will follow me.’”

Both Amir and Rasha made a bold decision after these dreams. “We decided to follow Him. We named our baby Christina. We left our old Islamic customs.”

*Names changed to protect identities

Of course, these miraculous dreams and visions in absolutely no way negate believers’ responsibility and calling to bring the gospel to those who’ve never heard:

“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? (Romans 10:13-15)

I share some more thoughts in this video:

Photo: Unsplash

Because Jesus Is Our Stability, We Can Be Open-Handed with Our Friends

We all have friendships. These can include genuine healthy ones, social media friendships, idolizing friendships, self-seeking friendships, and other friend-ish relationships. In her book Friend-ish: Reclaiming Real Friendship in a Culture of Confusion, Kelly Needham skillfully points us toward true biblical friendships. She shows us the beauty and necessity of biblical friendships and the ways friendships can assume the wrong place. With good-hearted and wise counsel, Kelly helps us see friendship as God intends it to be.

Hope you enjoy this excerpt from the book. —Randy Alcorn

When you are in friendship to give, you hold friends with open hands. Though this is one of the most challenging aspects of selfless friendship, it’s one of the most important. Because at the end of the day, we have no right to demand commitments from other individuals. While local churches do provide a committed community for us to be a part of…, as friends, inside or outside the church, we are individuals who answer to God.

Therefore, Christian friendship calls us to cultivate deep and meaningful relationships without individual obligations. This is the scariest part of friendship for most people. For many, it feels safer to wait until someone has committed to us before we share our hearts. But…the Bible gives us no space to create commitment or obligations in this arena. This is why Jesus must be our stability. It is our friendship with him that enables us to cultivate depth with others while remaining open-handed.

I have several really close friends who have recently moved away. We used to live five minutes away from each other, and now two of these women are on the other side of the Dallas-Fort Worth area (read: one hour away) and one is now twenty-five minutes away. Their respective moves have had a huge impact on the way we enjoy our friendships. The time and frequency with which we meet has been drastically reduced, something I’ve often grieved. But I have no right to demand that they continue to be present in my life in the same way they did when we all lived in the same town. I must hold them with open hands by allowing them the space to be obedient to God and to cultivate new friendships locally.

This happens all the time as friends of ours make familial transitions, get married, and have children and grandchildren. With each new season there are new responsibilities. And so with each new season there are new limitations and priorities. Our job in friendship is to be givers, seeking to fight for our friends’ obedience to God in these priorities, not take away from them by demanding they meet our needs.

The most Christ-like thing my friends have ever done for me is encourage me to obey God in new seasons by being flexible in what our friendship looks like due to the new responsibilities God gives me. They are only able to do this because their worth does not come from our friendship, but from Christ.

Our friends do not answer to us; they answer to God. He is their king, their Lord, their first loyalty. It is not right to put ourselves above God in others’ lives. If, in God’s purposes and sovereignty, he changes their season of life, their availability, their responsibilities, it is our role as a friend to encourage and support that, even if it means a loss for us. This is the sacrificial love we are called to in friendship.

Being open-handed also means we allow our friends to have other friends. We do not own them; they do not own us. They do not belong to us. So when and if new relationships crop up in their lives, we can celebrate that, not grieve it. And when seeing our good friends cultivate new friendships produces insecurity in us, we run to Jesus and take another drink of living water so that we can continue coming to the arena of friendship with a spirit of giving, not taking.

If being this open-handed in your friendships feels terrifying, it may be a sign that friends have too high a place in your life. When our souls are well fed at the fountain of living water, we can continue extending friendship through the ebb and flow of these life changes.

But being open-handed doesn’t mean being unemotional. The loss of a good thing is always worth grieving, and friendship is a really good thing. When a friend moves away, tears rightly reflect the value of that friendship. When new responsibilities in our lives limit our connectedness in certain friendships, sorrow is normal and good. Good friends grieve to be separated. As David wept to leave Jonathan, so we should grieve the losses we experience in friendship, but those losses should not undo us. Healthy friendship grieves with open hands, allowing and encouraging our friends to go where God leads. It’s when we tighten our grip and demand our friends stay near us that we can know our grief is not flowing from a good place.

Learn more about Kelly's book Friend-ish: Reclaiming Real Friendship in a Culture of Confusion.

Photo: Christianpics.co