J.T. Kalnay's Blog, page 25
August 25, 2012
Dear CrossFit, “Kiss My @ss”
Go ahead, kiss it.
I go your gyms and do your exercises and what do I get? I get sore, I get miserable, I get over-heated, I get crushed by brutal metcons and I get humbled by light weights. I get screamed at by trainers and other CrossFitters. Sure they’re encouraging me, sure they’re trying to help me get fit. But they’re still screaming. So kiss it. It’s not where it was six months ago, it’s about two inches higher. And, there’s a lot less of it. Also, you might bruise your lips on the marble hard glutes all those effin squats produced. So go ahead CrossFit, kiss my @ss.
I wonder what tomorrow’s WOD will be…
USADA Admits Wrongdoing In Armstrong Affair
The USADA today allegedly made an “admission of guilt” by refusing to co-operate with JTA-USADA-A (JT’s anti USADA assocation) proceedings. The proceedings were designed to probe rumors that the USADA had fabricated, destroyed, or ignored evidence concerning Lance Armstrong. The proceedings were also designed to get to the bottom of rumors that the USADA had improperly conducted hundreds of drug tests on Armstrong. The rationale for the proceedings included parody statements that “they must have destroyed evidence because everyone knows Armstrong is a doper” and “the tests must have been administered incorrectly or else Armstrong certainly would have failed at least one.”
Suspicions were initially raised when it was revealed that rumors allegedly existed that the USADA was purportedly in possession of both evidence fabricating and evidence destroying equipment. Agency officials point to unsubstantiated statements concerning the presence of printers, shredders, and garbage cans at the USADA office. One purported former USADA official was overhead admitting that “everyone copies, everyone prints, of course we copied and printed items concerning Armstrong. If you wanted to be competitive, you had to copy, you had to print, you had to shred.” Further critical evidence to be discussed at the arbitration included testimony from the wife of an individual rumored to be a former USADA official. The wife was rumored to have overhead a conversation that include the statement that “I know they’ve shredded things at the USADA, I know they’ve thrown things out, don’t ask me how, I just know it, okay, I feel it.”
Based on this overwhelming evidence, the JTA-USADA-A has concluded that the only possible explanation for the alleged presence of both evidence fabricating and evidence destroying apparatus was for fabricating and destroying evidence in the Armstrong Affair. One unnamed source potentially connected with someone somehow alleged to have visited the Agency was thought to have been overhead suggesting that “there’s no other possible explanation for why not just one, but at least four different pieces of equipment used to manufacture or destroy evidence are rumored to be located at the USADA offices. Therefore, the USADA must have been engaged in these activities.”
The JTA-USADA-A has consistently pointed to the fact that the computers that may or may not reside at the USADA must include delete keys, and backspace keys. ”We haven’t actually seen a delete key or backspace key, but they must be there,” one source close to the investigation was rumored to have repeated.
After the initial suspicions came to light, subsequent innuendo suggested that the USADA may have been rumored to have been at fault for improperly administering several hundred drug tests to Armstrong. The tests were carried out during a decade of competition. These drug tests were allegedly performed by USADA and other anti-doping agencies after every stage victory, after every overall victory, and randomly throughout the year, both in season and out of season. The JTA-USADA-A became convinced that the USADA was not following proper witch-hunt protocol because, as one unnamed source allegedly leaked, “it is impossible that they could have actually properly administered so many tests properly on Armstrong when these exact same tests caught, among others, Landis, Hamilton, Jones, Agassi, Almendinger, Andreu, Berard, Bergman, Bonds, Boston, Cameron, Caminiti, Conseco, Cushing, Frankling, Giambi, the other Giambi, Gooden, Grimsley, Hamm, Hardy, Harrison, Jones, Lawton, Leogrande, Lewis, Lo Duca, Mayo, Merriman, Monahan, Moninger, Mosely, Palmeiro, Papp, Pettite, Phelps, Randleman, Rios, Robbins, Roberts, Sbieh, Segui, Saurbrun, Shamrock, Sheffield, Stubblefield, Thomas, Toney, Vargis, Williams, and Woods (not Tiger).”
The JTA-USADA-A commenced its Salem-like proceedings against the USADA to determine (a) how the USADA could have been so incompetent to have administered so many tests on Armstrong without acquiring a single positive result and (b) what the USADA did with the evidence from the failed blood and urine tests.
USADA officials compounded their admission of guilt in the Armstrong affair by not being quoted by the JTA-USADA-A. The head of the agency was rumored to have been overhead saying “we are left with no choice but to strip the USADA of their title of most active and ridiculous medal-stripping agency.” The JTA-USADA-A will naturally take that title. One source purportedly close to the investigation might have been overhead whispering “I know a guy who might have worked with a guy at the USADA and when he was having his wisdom teeth pulled (and apparently his wisdom), he said they might have botched the Armstrong tests because they’d never found anything and how is that possible because in all those tests they must have found something.”
Federal officials likewise were not quoted by the JTA-USADA-A. Rumor has it that the Federal officials who failed to indict Armstrong on any charges after a two year investigation (the same officials who indicted Barry Bonds) were not involved in the USADA decision.
Agency officials appear unwilling to face scrutiny concerning how they failed to acquire a single positive test against Armstrong when they, or their international counterparts, were able to acquire positive tests, using allegedly identical techniques, on Schleck, Contador, << insert names of over 100 Tour de France Cyclists here>> and others.
One commentator mentioned that another commentator had heard that a blogger had repeated a rumor that “it was unlike the USADA to give up on something like the JTA-USADA-A proceedings since we know they will extrapolate the smallest mole hill into the biggest mountain.” This report is unconfirmed.
Bloggers may have heard that the JTA-USADA-A may be involved in a rumor and innuendo campaign concerning an investigation that the USADA will be alleged to return their budget of approximately $8.9M US.
The JTA-USADA-A is the self-proclaimed arbiter of USADA sanctioning. Accusations exist that the JTA-USADA-A (allegedly like the USADA) has no actual authority to conduct any investigation, has no connection to any government, is not recognized by any sports body of any type, and should not attempt parody.
One Billion Dollars For Apple, For A Claim That Could Have Been Designed Around…
This post provides a link to patent 7,469,381, the “bounce back” patent, which is referred to as the ’381 patent. This post also provides a clean copy of claim 19, which is the claim that the jury found Samsung infringed. Finally, this post provides an annotated version of a portion of claim 19. The annotations may suggest how Samsung could have designed around the claim, rather than willfully infringe it…
Here’s a link to the ’381 “bounce back” patent.
Here’s a clean version of claim 19, which is the claim that the jury found Samsung infringed.
19. A device, comprising:
a touch screen display;
one or more processors;
memory; and
one or more programs,
wherein the one or more programs are stored in the memory and configured to be executed by the one or more processors, the programs including:
instructions for displaying a first portion of an electronic document;
instructions for detecting a movement of an object on or near the touch screen display;
instructions for translating the electronic document displayed on the touch screen display in a first direction to display a second portion of the electronic document, wherein the second portion is different from the first portion, in response to detecting the movement;
instructions for displaying an area beyond an edge of the electronic document and displaying a third portion of the electronic document, wherein the third portion is smaller than the first portion, in response to the edge of the electronic document being reached while translating the electronic document in the first direction while the object is still detected on or near the touch screen display; and
instructions for translating the electronic document in a second direction until the area beyond the edge of the electronic document is no longer displayed to display a fourth portion of the electronic document, wherein the fourth portion is different from the first portion, in response to detecting that the object is no longer on or near the touch screen display.
Here’s an annotated version of two elements that might have been a potentially useful design around. The portions being designed around are in bold, the potential design arounds are << bracketed in italics >>. The ease with which these claims could have been designed around is a caution to to claims drafters, who may wish to consider the effect of every word in their claims, and who may wish to consider viable alternatives to their claims. Companies that are aware of other companies products and patents may wish to consider designing around, rather than copying… Instead of getting worked up that you just got run over by a bull, consider how easy it would have been to have stayed out of the bullring by designing around.
instructions for displaying an area beyond an edge of the electronic document and displaying a third portion of the electronic document, wherein the third portion is smaller than the first portion, in response to the edge of the electronic document being reached << display the area beyond the edge in response to determining that x% (but not all the way to the edge, x < 100%) of the electronic document has been reached>> while translating the electronic document in the first direction << temporarily stop the translation>> while the object is still detected on or near the touch screen display
instructions for translating the electronic document in a second direction until the area beyond the edge of the electronic document is no longer displayed << until y% of the area beyond the edge is no longer displayed, (take action when y < 100% of the area is gone)>> to display a fourth portion of the electronic document, wherein the fourth portion is different from the first portion, in response to detecting that the object is no longer on or near the touch screen display
August 17, 2012
50 Shades of CrossFit
I really suffer at the box. Sometimes I have my wrists bound before doing thrusters, or before trying to really get into a snatch. Sometimes I need to get my feet wrapped up in the power bands before going chest to bar. Just today I got whipped and flailed a dozen times while practicing double unders. And I PAY for this treatment at Carl & Larry’s black box of pain. Now I know where E.L. James got the idea for fifty shades. It was after a trial period being submissive at a CrossFit box…
I wonder what tomorrow’s WOD is…
August 16, 2012
221 Americans KIA in Afghanistan So Far This Year
Another helicopter shot down yesterday.
Can anyone explain to me what ten-plus years of war in Afghanistan have accomplished? Anyone? Some estimates price the ten-plus years of war at 4 Trillion dollars.
The 4 trillion is so absurd it’s nearly an irrelevant number. Here’s the number that I care about. Can anyone justify the nearly 2,000 American KIA in Afghanistan? The nearly 3,000 coalition KIA? Anyone?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coalition_casualties_in_Afghanistan
August 15, 2012
Free Joshua Tree Guide Passes Milestone
Once again I am humbled but thrilled that another one of my free books has passed a download milestone. With the cooler temperatures of fall just around the corner, downloads of the first installment of the 5.Fun Guide to Josha Tree (Trash Can Rock) have now exceeded their next power of ten. I hope everyone gets out climbing and I hope everyone gets to visit JTree at least once in their climbing career. As always, I appreciate the emails and questions.
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/126355
August 14, 2012
Congratulations to Dr. Boyd Upper
From the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee Medal Presentation to Dr. Boyd Upper
“Dr. Upper has been a long time advocate for Canada, Ontario and our community. Over his professional career, he advised Prime Ministers and provincial leaders and dedicated himself to improving the health of all Canadians. Starting in 1959, he helped to develop the proposal for a national health care system in Canada. At home in Mississauga, Boyd is best known for his community activism. The focus of his efforts has been on improving air quality in Mississauga. He has been one of the most vocal and knowledgeable proponents of reducing local emissions and has successfully influenced local and provincial government to make improvements. Dr. Upper has sat on a number of committees to make our community’s voice heard, including the Clarkson Airshed Advisory Committee, the Petro Canada Public Liaison Committee and the Southwest GTA Air Quality Task Force Community Advisory Committee, to name a few. Dr. Upper received the Diamond Jubilee Medal for his lifetime of work to improve the health of Canadians, protect our local community and pass that legacy on to future generations.”
Congratulations Uncle Boyd!
August 12, 2012
And Free on Itunes!
Yet another place to pick up this short novella about magic arrowheads, magic relationships, and trauma induced time travel!
http://itunes.apple.com/ie/book/the-keeper/id453393217?mt=11
Finally Free On The Nook
The Keeper is now free on the Nook as well. So far there’s only one review on B&N, “This is one of the most boring books I have ever read.” One star. Anonymous. Once upon a time these one star reviews bugged me, now I see them for what they are….
Anyway, if you’re looking for “the most boring book ever”, it’s now FREE on the Nook!
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-keeper-jt-kalnay/1103406741?ean=2940032938200
August 11, 2012
When CrossFit Goes Too Far
CrossFit trainers are really good at saying 3-2-1-GO, and then keeping you going. I’ve gotten through some workouts I never thought I would because the trainers can motivate and keep me going. But the other day, the trainer did something even more important than keeping me going. He got me to stop. I didn’t want to stop. But my body clearly needed to stop. Crouched under the bar, sweat running off me in unhealthy and unusual amounts, my eyes ready to roll back in my head, the trainer got me to see reason. ”You need to stop. You need to go on the side and rest. You need to end this one, so I don’t lose you for a week,” he said. He was right. It would have been easier to get loud and try to motivate his client, but the trainer saw the right thing to do and got it done. Sometimes CrossFit, and I suppose everything else, has to be about saying “it’s time for a rest day.” Thanks to the trainer at Ctown CrossFit for knowing when to say when. I’ll be back on Monday, rested, and ready to go. I wonder what Monday’s WOD will be…
