J.T. Kalnay's Blog, page 16

Lance Armstrong Looked Up The Definition of Cheat

And decided that he wasn’t a cheater. What made him look up the definition? Some need to find a justification for what he knew was wrong? For what he knew was against the rules? He said “I did not feel like I was cheating. It was just like putting air in the tires. I looked up the definition of cheat, it meant gaining an advantage, I didn’t gain an advantage, I just levelled the playing field.” So in Lance’s opinion the sport was so rampant with doping that you couldn’t win without doping and thus event though doping was against the rules it wasn’t cheating. That is really parsing a word to your own advantage. He was so competitive, and wanted to win at any cost, that he wanted to be the best cheater there was. In so doing, he also became one of the best liars and one of the biggest bullies in sport. When speaking about the culture of doping, Lance said “I didn’t invent it, but I didn’t try to stop it.” How many times through history have we heard this excuse? From bullies, from criminals, from athletes. It was difficult to watch the interview last night, not because of what he was saying, but because of how he said it, and what he still maintains. Lance maintains he raced clean since 2005, even though the evidence says otherwise. Lance won’t name names, which means he still isn’t trying to stop the culture of doping. Lance didn’t do anything except talk to Oprah for his own personal gain, and no-one seems to know what that is. That’s not enough Lance. It’s not enough for you, and it’s not enough for me. Here’s the thing that Lance still hasn’t realized. Even though he didn’t create the culture of doping in the sport, he created it on his team. And even though he didn’t create the culture in his sport, he did nothing to try to change the sport. If he had tried, the victory in the attempt would have been infinitely more profound than the seven tainted wins. Bradley Wiggins’ one yellow jersey, if it is clean, is worth more than all seven of Lance’s tainted jerseys put together. Lance said he wanted to control every outcome. By maintaining his purity after 2005, by refusing to name names, by taking the positions that he took last night, Lance is controlling one outcome, that all of us who believed him, will never believe him, even if we forgive him at some distant point in the future.

CrossFit Is The Worst

Years of off and on again CrossFit, and a solid year of dedicated CrossFit have produced what?  Nothing!  That’s what.  21-15-9 of anything still kicks my *ss.  Like the other day, 21-15-9 of 20# WBS and 24″ box jumps made me just as tired as substantially the same workout a year ago.  So what that a year ago it was an 8# WBS and 12″ step ups?  So what that a year ago it was a 45# back squat and now it’s a 300# back squat?  Back squats still hurt!  Isn’t this supposed to be getting easier?  Shouldn’t CrossFit have made me better at something?  Like jumping rope?  Last year I could jump over the rope a few times, now I can do 38 dubs in a row.  But I still lose my breath and the rope still hurts when it hits my feet and eventually I miss.  Shouldn’t I be able to jump rope to infinity and beyond by now?  Come on.  CrossFit is the Worst, it does nothing… I wonder what tomorrow’s WOD will be…

CM Punk Loses to the Rock, Rock Loses to Cena, Ziggler Cashes In

The Rock is going to beat CM Punk.  This is a foregone conclusion.  With GI JOE: Retaliation coming out, the opportunities for cross-marketing are too big to ignore.  Once the movie buzz has died down, the Cena can beat the Rock, or the two can so damage each other in a classic matchup that Ziggler can then cash in the briefcase and sneak away with a title.  But, there is zero doubt in my mind that CM Punk will lose to The Rock.

CrossFit Time Machine

If I had a time machine, one of the things that I would do is travel back to the Paleolithic Era and add these foods to their diet:

Pop Tarts

Klondike Bars

Hagen Daz

Graeters

Anything with chocolate in it.

Anything with beer in it.

All pasta dishes ever cooked by my mother-in-law (an amazing Italian cook).

Chicken & Dumplings as cooked by my sister.

I know it might not be the best use of a time machine, but d*mn it that’s what I’d do!

CrossFit: The Worst 24:40 Of My Life?

Dear Crossfit, today we were supposed to do Kalsu.  It was supposed to be, every minute on the minute, do 5 burpees and then in the time left over do as many 135# thrusters as you could do until you got to 100.  Our coach confessed to never having finished the WOD.  He’s young and fit and a fire-breathing CrossFit, I am none of the above.  So I tried Kalsu-3-65, (3 burpees, 65#) and then switched to Kalsu-2-65 after 50 thrusters.  As the title says, it felt like it was the worst 24:40 of my life, but then I started thinking, trying to get some perspective, and realized that while it is certainly in the top ten, I doubt it’s #1.  Here’s the rest of the list (this deals only with physical discomfort, the mental discomfort list is different, though it does have some overlap)

Top Ten Worst 24:40

1. Any 24:40 in the three days suffering from food poisoning in Mexico,

2. Any 24:40 of the six hours spent bleeding after the bear encounter,

3. Any 24:40 of the hour spent hanging in a belay with a separated shoulder and broken finger while  keeping brake hand on the rope while unconscious climbing partner spun below,

4. Any 24:40 of the half hour spent in the dark smoke-filled fire escape in the WTC on Feb 26, 1993,

5. Any 24:40 of the hour spent on the LIRR on December 7, 1993,

6. Any 24:40 of the hour spent swimming 1.2 miles in 58F water in Lake Erie,

7. Any 24:40 of the hour(s) spent swimming back to shore against the wind and tide in the Atlantic after a thunderstrom interrupted an open water swim,

8. Any 24:40 of the first time I did Fran (or Grace, or Helen, or Murph),

9. Any 24:40 of the 4 hour butt-scoot hike down from a fourteener with a broken ankle,

10. Kalsu 3-65-2-65

Here’s the thing though, I plan on doing Fran, Grace, Helen, Murph, and Kalsu again.  So should these items appear on the list because they were chosen using my own free will?  Shouldn’t these types of lists only include unplanned calamities?  Kalsu is already scheduled for next year on this same date, our coach’s birthday.  It won’t be any easier though, because hopefully it’ll be Kalsu-4-85 or something similar.  CrossFit never gets easier.  I wonder what tomorrow’s WOD will be.

Lance Armstrong Admits To Using Performance Enhancing Drugs, I Admit To Using Performance Destroying Foods

In a rare coincidence, Lance Armstrong and JT Kalnay both gave heart-wrenching interviews to Oprah Winfrey today.  LA admitted to using performance enhancing drugs to win his 7 Tour de France titles.  JTK admitted to using performing destroying foods to lose his fitness, physique, and pride.  Armstrong had long been reputed to have lead the most sophisticated doping program in all of professional sports.  Kalnay had long been reputed to have lead the most sophisticated Pop-Tart, Hagen-Daz, and Klondike bar consumption program in all of obesity.  Winfrey at times appeared to have difficulty idenitying with Armstrong’s acts, but had no difficulty identifying with Kalnay’s.  In one particularly touching moment during the interview, Winfrey could be seen comforting Kalnay with a precious leftover twinkie.  Both Armstrong and Kalnay have promised to mend their ways.  And while observers believe Armstrong wil likely be able to avoid EPO, Testosterone, HGH, insulin, amphetamines, and other performance enhancing drugs that are pervasive in racing culture, due in part to the heightened scrutiny under which all cyclists now find themselves, those same observers say that it is unlikely that Kalnay will be able to completely avoid the sugar, high-fructose corn syrup, and other performance destroying foods that are even more pervasive in American Culture.  Both interviews are scheduled to air Thursday on OWN.  I wonder what tomorrow’s WOD will be….

Dear CrossFit, Today Kim Rocked Indy

Some CrossFitters compete.  And some CrossFitters do amazing things in competitions.  Today, in Indianapolis, four of the athletes from the box where I train competed in the first day of the Great Lakes Invitational competition.  As a team, they won the first event, which was max reps of bench press.  Here’s a link to the competition website.

http://crossfitindynorth.com/2013-gli/

Remarkably, to those in attendance, but not to those of us who’ve seen her in action, Kim Williams did the most reps of anyone in the comp.  Which of these facts is more amazing: that Kim is a woman, or that the other competitors are generally half her age?  CrossFit is for everyone, you can come as you are, and you can be the best you that you can be.  But sometimes CrossFit is also about putting it all on the line in competition.  Congratulations to this coach and athlete and friend, who is one of the nicest, most helpful people you’ll ever meet.  Just don’t challenge her to a lifting contest, she’ll go beast mode on you!

Here’s a link to the first day’s results.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/pub?key=0AvR5Zq5LraOMdFRjaE9JbWpTcUozSG5HemdPVGxhSFE&single=true&gid=1&output=html

I wonder what tomorrow’s WOD will be.

Dear CrossFit, Today We Scaled, Even While Using Our Superpowers

Today was a classic day at the box.  Things started off GREAT when one of my favorite CrossFitters and I got to sit and talk for ten minutes before the WOD.  Things got even better when there was just a small class where everybody knew everybody and the coach was able to give us each good amounts of personal attention.  Have you ever noticed how every CrossFitter has their holes (goats) but also has their superpower?  Today, I got to exercise my superpower (push press) but then also got to scale (OHS).  I looked around, and everyone else was able to push themselves really hard and get the most out of their WOD by scaling or adapting one way or another.  One athlete did single unders instead of dubs but jumped really high on each jump.  She’s really close to getting her first dub.  One athlete used a slightly lower box for cross jumps.  One athlete used a slightly lighter weight on the OHS.  I scaled both the OHS and the box.  But every one of us was working super hard, helping out the other guy, and in it together.  So today at the box had it all.  Friends, coaching, hard work, flexing the super powers, and scaling or adapting to get the most out of the WOD while working towards Rx.   Thanks Sara and Jen and Corey and Carl and Kenny.  A great day in the box.  I wonder what tomorrow’s WOD will be… (Actually, I know what tomorrow’s WODs will be for four athletes: Kim, Karen, Kenny, and Mike)  Good luck in Indy, you will do great.  I wonder what tomorrow’s WOD will be…

CrossFit Games, The Open, 2013, Why you should compete

The worldwide Open is fast approaching.  Please allow me the opportunity to persuade you to compete.  Since Rich and Annie don’t read my blog regularly, you should compete because you can’t win.  You should enter knowing that no matter what you do someone else is going to be better.  This alone is worth entering the competition.  Equally important is that you should compete because you are going to realize that you are better than you think you are.  Until you measure, you don’t know.  Measuring in the world wide Open will allow you to measure against thousands of other people, zealots, recreationals, newbies, everyone.  You are going to be better than some, and you aren’t going to be as good as others.  But you will be part of the great experiment known as CrossFit.  You will establish a line in the sand, and then next year, when you compete again, you will know where that line is and you will know how you have fared over the next year of training.  You should compete so that you are forced to confront your holes (aka goats).  You have them, you know you have them, you duck WODs when you know they’re coming, you shave reps or you shave weight.  You can do none of these things in the Open.  And these are things you need to stop doing at least once.  The public scrutiny of the Open will make you address those holes.  You should compete because it is FUN!  Yes it’s fun to check the rankings and to see how other athletes did.  It’s fun to see how your friends did.  It’s fun to see how you did.  It’s just FUN.  You should compete because it’s a 5/6 week commitment, during which time you will train harder, you will eat better, and you will connect with your coaches and community in ways you may not even realize exist.  You should compete because you can.  I wonder what tomorrow’s WOD will be.

Dear CrossFit, Happy New Year

You and I will be on different terms this year. I will be Paleo fueled and free of Diet Coke. The absence of sugary carbs may cause you to think I have slowed down. Similarly, the absence of carbonated caffeine and aspartame may cause you to think I am sleeping, or at least not very excited. Don’t be fooled. Watch out CrossFit, it’s 2013 and I’m coming for you. I’ll be the quiet guy in the corner working hard and watching your every move. I wonder what tomorrow’s WOD will be…