J.T. Kalnay's Blog, page 14
February 18, 2013
Dear CrossFit, Respect Others
Respect marathon runners, they can run a really long way much faster than you can. They’ve trained exceptionally hard for a difficult task. If you run out of gas twenty miles from a gas station, a marathon runner is a great person to have in the car with you.
Respect power lifters, they can lift really heavy stuff, heavier than you can. They’ve trained and grunted and sweated and worked on strength in ways you can’t imagine. If you have a flat tire and you don’t have a jack, a power lifter is a great person to have int he car with you.
Respect people who do yoga, they can bend in ways you can’t even imagine, and they meditate regularly. They are strong in positions you can’t attain. You don’t need to be in a car to have a reason to have a yoga person around. They’re just cool, and usually great to look at and hang out with.
Respect people who do Zumba. They are getting their *ss to the studio and moving and trying to be better people, just like you. They have chosen a different path, but they have chosen a path. They are not on the couch.
Respect everyone who gets to the gym and gives an honest effort. Respect the light person who is trying to gain some muscle and respect the not-so-light person who is trying to lose some fat. Respect the less co-ordinated person who is trying to move better. Respect the young person who is trying to establish a new habit of fitness. Respect the not so young person who is trying to retain or re-acquire some functional movements that may keep them at home and able to care for their grandchildren.
Respect the newbies at the box. You were a newbie once. Remember the things that people said and did that helped you and, when appropriate, share those things. Remembver the things that people said and did that didn’t help, and avoid those behaviors.
Respect your coaches. This is their job. It’s their job to correct the newbies, to correct you, and to do the programming. If your coach asks you to help out, do the best you can. But please consider offering your advice sua sponte. You’re not the coach.
And, most importantly, respect yourself. You’re doing this for some reason. It’s gotta be a d*mn good reason if you’re still doing this more than a month after you started. So respect yourself and your reason. Don’t dog your workouts, don’t cherry pick your WODs, don’t sabotage through unecessary scaling. Respect your effort and respect your goal.
I wonder what tomorrow’s WOD will be…
February 13, 2013
Burpees at Globo on the Left Coast
There are mirrors at globo here on the left coast. Which is a good thing, because there are lots of really beautiful people: model beautiful, movie-star beautiful, with show muscles that just don’t quit. All those mirrors offer the stars, and others, endless opportunities to gawk at these sculpted specimens.
I haven’t been to globo in over a year, and I’ve never been to a globo like this. I used to think that globo was it. I used to think I was working out. We all know how wrong I was. I didn’t want to go to globo, but there just wasn’t time to go to the beach for burpees on the beach, or to get to a box for burpees in the box. But there was a globo right where I was staying, and I only had an hour, so it was time for burpees at Globo. When you only have a few minutes, burpees and air squats and holding some planks will do the trick. Anyway, I entered the globo, where things quickly went south.
To protect the innocent, I will change the names of the offensive parties to Bambi, Ken, and Rex. Bambi was the “host personal trainer” that had been arranged for me. She was obviously concerned that I was a coronary risk b/c when I arrived she suggested that a half hour of walking on the treadmill at 2.0 mph followed by some curls would be a great workout “based on your body type.” I indulged Bambi and did ten minutes on the treadmill to warm up, but then I let her know I wanted to do some burpees and air squats and head back to the hotel. “What’s a burpee?” Bambi asked. After I explained it, she tried to encourage me to stick with the treadmill and the curls. I considered trying to explain “functional movement” but decided that since I only had an hour, that might not be a wise decision. Bambi is a prototype for a certain type of hair-color joke.
Because of the abundance and variety (does that qualify as a ‘plethora’) of machines it took a few minutes to find a suitable place for the burpees. Luckily there was a “cardio studio” that wasn’t in use and I was able to persuade Bambi to let me use it. The cardio studio had floor to cieling mirrors on two sides, and floor to cieling glass on another side. I did 50 burpees in 7 minutes, during which time I managed to spray sweat (and a little slobber) in several directions. Bambi kept backing further and further away while she kept count. Did I mention that there are mirrors in globo? Lots of mirrors. Note to self: It’s not pretty watching the de-evolution of the species during 50 burpees. It made me recall Carl’s 600+ burpees last summer. Darwin really should have warned us about de-evolution. Anyway, while I was sitting down with sweat running off my nose and chin, and while Bambi was mentally reviewing CPR, or at least trying to remember the number for 9-1-1, Ken and Rex felt compelled to come in and counsel me about the evils of burpees.
Who walks up to a sweaty fat guy and tells him he shouldn’t be doing burpees? Who does that? WHO? It was okay though, sorta, b/c Ken was beautiful, and Rex was, well, nearly god-like, at least from the front. I have since learned that Ken is in fact a former model and that Rex is a soap star. Anyway, with my CrossFit calibrated eye I surreptitiously checked out their posterior chains and found them seriously wanting. Apparently the camera only ever shoots from the front.
I politely thanked Ken and Rex, and Bambi, for their concern, and almost got off the hook and out of the situation. But, as those of you who know me best, it wasn’t over, because Rex just couldn’t let it go. After one or two more comments, which included something about people “my size” and “my age” exercising too strenuously and disrupting the serious people who were trying to work out, I casually asked Ken and Rex what their max clean and jerk was. Ken shrieked, actually shrieked. “Clean & Jerk? Are you kidding? You’d get hurt doing that.”
You know where this is headed. I know you know where this is headed. I asked Ken and Rex how many thrusters they could do. Bambi nearly spit out her gum and Rex looked ready to fight. Ken blushed then defused the sudden tension by letting me know that no-one was better at thrusters than Rex. I demonstrated the movement to make sure that Ken knew what I meant. He didn’t, neither did Rex. “What about pullups? Can you do pullups?” I asked. Bambi informed me that there wasn’t a pullup bar in the globo. This was my second chance to get out of it, to just let it go, to go back to the hotel and get ready for the next appointment. But Rex wouldn’t let it go.
“Why do you want to know? Do you think you could beat me at pullups or something? Or at anything?” The dismissive tone was exactly right for pressing the button. You know that button, the one that when you look back on your life you wish you had more control of? The button that switches you from regular guy to “that guy?” Right now Tim and Jeff are wincing because they know what happens next. “Yes Rex, I think I could beat you at clean and jerk, or snatching, or deadlifting, or squatting, or probably any movement that actually mattered.” I stared into his exceptionally spell-binding, movie-star beautiful eyes while channelling my inner circa-1980 Clint Eastwood. Ken drew in his breath (apparently Rex doesn’t get talked to like that very much, and never gets challenged at globo).
“Wanna bet?” Rex said. How many stories, scrapes, and scuffles have started with “wanna bet?” So we bet. Not a lot, because I didn’t have much on me. After too much haggling and too much demonstrating and agreeing on exercises and standards, we decided on three rounds of 10x ground to overehead with a 65# dumbell and 10x goblet squats with the 65# dumbell. That’s just 60 movements. I figured 5 seconds per movement for me, and predicted I would take six minutes to finish, knowing I can’t move for five minutes unbroken. Rex predicted he would finish in three minutes, “or at least twice as fast as “fat-ass”. At some point during the negotiations I became “fat ass”. I’m not particularly good at squatting, and everyone knows I get tired doing wall ball shots and GTOs. Still, I was trusting my posterior chain, (which had, in my opinion, been mischaracterized as ‘fat ass’) and our psychotic coach’s programming to carry me through this. By the time we were ready to go, perhaps 25 people had gathered to watch. Rex made one of them put down her cell phone because he didn’t want to be videod in the gym.
“I’ve never seen anyone actually die,” one onlooker said. I’m pretty sure she was referring to my apparently imminent demise. A nearly apopleptic Bambi managed a meek “on your mark, get set, go!” (which will never replace 3-2-1 go) and we were off.
It took me seven minutes. Practically everyone at CTown would have beat me, by a lot. But here, on the left coast, in front of these beautiful beautiful people, actually surrounded by these beautiful people in all the globo mirrors, I won. Why? Because Rex quit. He just quit. No amount of cajoling or encouragement from Ken could get him to start. He quit after the fifth goblet squat, on the first round, after just 15 movements. Luckily there were enough people watching that he couldn’t see his glorious head hung in shame in all the mirrors. Luckily there were enough machines that one was close enough for him to lean against while he gasped. Luckily Ken was there to comfort to Rex, and then to help him to his feet. When I was finished, I offered my sweaty hand to help him up, but he wouldn’t take it. I told him he didn’t have to pay on the bet, but then I told him he ought to reconsider before offering advice to someone who can do fifty burpees. I tried to channel my inner Clint again.
Bambi walked me to the door. “Where’d you learn to do that?” she asked. I wasn’t sure whether she meant my Clint Eastwood imitation (which is lame) or GTOs and goblet squats. “In a garage,” I answered. “Can you really do a pullup?” she asked. I nodded my head yes. “Will you sign this book for me?” she asked. I did. A drop of sweat ran off my nose and splashed on the autograph. “That’s alright,” she said. Yes it was. It was alright by me.
I wonder what tomorrow’s WOD will be…
February 11, 2013
Wow, Amazing Review of The Topsail Accord
Thank you dear reader for taking the time to read the book and to write such a thoughtful review. I was sincerely worried that no-one would “get” Shannon and Joe, and the relationship they try to piece together. I’m absolutely delighted at your insights into the book. Thank you.
(here’s the link http://onlinefictionwriting.blogspot.com/2012/06/book-review-of-topsail-accord-by-jt.html)
here’s the review:
Joe, a coffee shop owner, and Shannon, a geologist, agree to see each other four times a year. Joe agrees to ask no questions of this very private woman. The story is told from each persons point of view in alternating sequences. It is easy to follow, and written in a Hemmingway-esque style of simplicity.
The vivid imagery sticks with you; the colors of the sunset on the beach where they walk, holding hands in a loose relationship in which lack of commitment, rather than commitment, is the glue that holds them together.
It is not because they do not care about each other. Quite the opposite, although the reader sometimes experiences the same anxiety that the characters feel about that very question. It is frustrating of course, to be with someone whose only promise is not to promise anything, and whose only request is not to request anything. But you get to watch the challenges from an intimate view that beset this couple. You experience the same tension they do. You watch them learn and grow from this rather unusual agreement that they have formed.
Both characters have a past, of course. They both have relationships which have left them scarred. These are not young lovers, they are mid-lifers who are world wary, and wounded. Shannon had been in a marriage that demanded more of her than she was able to give, no matter how she tried. The damage from that stays with her. Joe lost his only child to cancer, and feels the guilt and frustration of having done too little to save her. His wife, who had prevented him from getting their daughter the medical treatment she needed due to her fundamentalist religious beliefs, committed suicide from the guilt of that. Joe, of course, is scarred and wounded due to all of this.
Perhaps in a metaphorical way this is why he walks with a limp. Shannon sees him on the beach and notices him walking, or jogging as best he can and something touches her about him. Perhaps it is this very woundedness that makes her trust him somehow.
Shannon is as interesting and intriguing, meanwhile, as a beautiful, exotic butterfly. Joe notices her, as do many who see her, and sits mesmerized to just watch. She is a powerful female, as well. No shrinking violet. She is fabulously wealthy due to her discovery of oil, which her career as a geologist has allowed her to perceive. She is perceptive, a risk taker, and brave enough to believe in her contrary views. She knew there was oil when the others did not, and was willing to place her bets on it. So she got rich where they did not.
It is this strength of her own convictions in her non-traditional views that make her willing to set the terms of this relationship in which they will only see each other for a month in January, a month in July and two short vacations in spring and summer. It is Joe’s own self-assuredness and compassion that allows him to accept her terms. He respects her boundaries, and seems to know intuitively what those boundaries are without her having to spell each and every one of them out to him. She appreciates this in him.
Not all relationships have to follow some orthodoxy. Our culture sets these arbitrary rules for couples to follow, these invisible yet highly controlling rules. When we choose as individuals or as couples to follow our own path and set our own guidelines, we might raise the eyebrows of our neighbors, or family, our friends. But the special rules we choose to follow may work out best for us. This book, The Topsail Accord, might serve as a template for some, or perhaps just free up the space in your mind to create your own template.
The leisurely pace of this book, and the restful tour of not only their relationship, but the places they chose to visit gave me the vicarious experience of their travels. When I had finished I felt as if I had taken a vacation. I was sorry to see the book end, and definitely plan to read other books by this talented author.
February 10, 2013
Dear CrossFit, The Superpower/DNF Spectrum
We all have some CrossFit thing we are best at (deadlift ). And we all have some CrossFit thing we’re worst at or haven’t got yet (muscle up, handstand push up, pistol). All the other CrossFit things fall somewhere in between best and worst. Many of the athletes I know have been competing recently, and are going to participate in the Open. Here’s some interesting math to consider. The difference between 0 double unders and 1 double under in a compWOD that includes double unders isn’t one. The difference is infinity. The difference between 0 HSPU and 1 HSPU isn’t one, it’s infinity. The difference between 1 MU and 0 MU isn’t one, it’s infinity. The difference between a 300# deadlift and a 310# deadlift is ten pounds, around 3%, and maybe worth a few places in a compWOD. The difference between 1 pistol and 0 pistols in a compWOD that has pistols is 77 trillion gazillion percent, the difference between a score and a DNF, and in the Open, produces a step discontinuity that may be worth 1,000 places. People I mentor have heard me say many times, “the difference between 0% done and 1% done (e.g., started)) isn’t 1%, it’s infinity, and the difference between 99% done and 100% done isn’t 1%, it’s infinity. The difference between 53% done and 54% done is just 1%. Not all one percents are the same. What I’m trying to tell them that is the two most important parts of a project are starting and finishing. Yes grinding through the 98% in the middle is important, but those 98% never start without the first 1%, and the 98% are profoundly disrespected without the last 1%. So what does this mean to CrossFit? To you? To competition? If you don’t have a HSPU, have you recently tried to get one? Have you got that first magical 1%? If you have started working on them, are you sincerely committed to reaching that even more magical final 1%? Yes the 98% in the middle takes time, energy, and committment. It’s easy to give up and never get the first 1% and even easier to give up and never get the final 1%, especially while you’re grinding through the middle. But something incredible happens at the end of the spectrum (the end of the rainbow?). At the end of the spectrum, competitions are won and lost. They are won when you demonstrate your superpower. They are lost when your weakness is publicly exposed. At the end of the spectrum, new movements are discovered and attained. They are discovered when you see that new movement and try it. They are attained when you get that first muscle up, that first hspu, that first pistol. One of the things about CrossFit is that there are plenty of spectrums, and thus plenty of times to get that “first” something. If you think about your CrossFit journey, you can probably partition your life into times “before/after pullups”, ”before/after dubs”, “before/after muscle ups”. It’s how our minds work. Can anyone not remember their first kiss? Their first love? As parents, do we ever forget witnessing a first step, a first word, a first birthday? These things are so powerful because they only happen once. Yet CrossFit provides a nearly infinite supply of new firsts, no matter how young, old, co-ordinated, unco-ordinated, weak, strong, tall, short, lean, not lean, whatever. All of which can be witnessed by and shared by your friends. One of my friends asked me yesterday “why do you do CrossFit?” I dashed off a short answer that touched on what I felt in that moment. Now that I’ve thought about it overnight, my more complete answer is “because every day there’s a chance to be part of a first, my first or someone else’s first.” A first movement, a first comp, a first cert, a first meeting with a new friend at the box, a first place, a first miss, a first. I wonder what tomorrow’s WOD will be…
February 7, 2013
Dear CrossFit, Today We Did Bench Press
Yes I know BP doesn’t usually appear in a CrossFit WOD. But today was special, because, well, yesterday I slipped and fell on the ice. My achilles was already sore before falling, but then it, and my prosthetic hip, were really sore after falling. So that left me wondering what to do today… I thought about swimming with a pull buoy, but that’s on tap for Sunday I’d have to walk to my car to drive to the gym and blah blah blah. Anyway, decided to find 1rm bench press in my gym at home. I don’t think I’ve done BP once since starting at Ctown. Coach always tells us that the programming will make us stronger, so today was a real test. Would all that lifting and pulling and swinging stuff and squatting and programming translate to bench press? Turns out the anwer is an unequivocal “Yes”. Got a 260 BP and then chickened out and wouldn’t go any heavier. I’m not sure, but I think my pre-hip-replacement PR was 250, and my PR before CrossFit was around 225. So yes, apparently the programming makes you stronger for everything. CrossFit coaches always say that, and today we found out that it’s true. I wonder what tomorrow’s WOD will be…
February 5, 2013
JT Kalnay Compared to Nicholas Sparks
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars
Sometimes you need to spill you coffee, February 1, 2013
By David Richardson – See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
This review is from: The Topsail Accord (Kindle Edition)
A good book about what I would consider to be a terrible way to have a relationship. Well written and in a style that will remind you of Nicholas Sparks. Very touching at the end.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Topsail-Accord-J-Kalnay/product-reviews/1466388668/ref=cm_cr_pr_top_recent?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending
February 4, 2013
Dear CrossFit, Meeting Motivational People
One highlight of this weekend was getting to spend some time being trained, both physically and mentally, by Lindsey B. Smith (http://www.lindseybsmith.com/). Not only is Lindsey a phenomenal athlete, but she is also clearly devoted to her family
. Lindsey just lit up when she shared funny stories about day-to-day family life. It’s remarkable to watch such a talented athlete move so easily in the worlds of competition, instruction, and family. If you ever get a chance to work with Lindsey, don’t pass up on that opportunity, because she is a skilled, talented, genuine person who is passionate about what she’s doing.
Dear CrossFit, Lifting Heavy Sh*t With Doug Chapman
Doug was in charge of the distance running and other endurance sports portions of our weekend. (insert smiley here). Like me, Doug likes to lift heavy sh*t. Unlike me, Doug actually lifts really heavy sh*t. Doug brought his own brand of high-energy, sometimes irreverent but always funny approach to the weekend in Columbus. Thanks Doug for taking the time to help me figure out some adaptations for me and for my over fifty demographic. Things just go different when you’ve “got some miles on the chassis.” Thanks also for the pointers on how to communicate different cues to an athlete. If you haven’t had the chance to work with Dan, consider dropping by his box in Ann Arbor (http://www.hyperfitusa.com/hyperfit_usa/) to 
lift some heavy sh*t. Thanks Doug.
Dear CrossFit, Getting Trained by Veteran Games Athletes
This weekend in Columbus was led by Cherie Chan. While Cherie has finished as high as 15th in the Games (http://games.crossfit.com/article/ready-endure-cherie-chan) and while Cherie looked very fit this weekend while pounding out presses and box jumps, Cherie may be even more talented at organization, inspiration, and leading from the front. Cherie led a team of top trainers in a motivated, focussed way that kept the program, staff, and athletes on time and on topic. Cherie also freely shared some of her personal experiences training athletes, and these shared thoughts brought a real human touch to a lot of very technical material. Well done young lady.
Dear CrossFit, 415 Pound Back Squat
I got to spend the weekend in Columbus with a talented, professional, and dedicated group of CrossFitters. One of the people (abi) who really went above and beyond in coaching is pictured here beside me.
One of the two people in this picture can back squat 415#, and one of the two people in this picture can back squat 315#. Can you guess which is which? Abi has the 415, I have the 315. Isn’t it fantastic how both numbers defy so many stereotypes? Here is a beautiful young lady with incredible athletic talent who is professional, pretty, well-spoken, and dedicated to fitness, and she has a 415# back squat. She took time out to help a hip-replacement CrossFitter work on his air squat, front squat, and overhead squat technique. This is one of the best parts of the CrossFit community. You check your egos and your prejudices and preconceptions somewhere outside the box, and then you get to work in the box. When you work, people help you, because what happens in the box matters. I wonder what tomorrow’s WOD will be.
