Lisa Loomis's Blog, page 22

I need you

Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'

Erich Fromm





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Working

A dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.

Colin Powell

Sexy arms

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         He was outside the tent, wearing a white tank top, black sweats, and
his running shoes. I admired his body as he stretched out his legs against the
bench, his sexy, defined biceps, those arms that held me last night. Arms I
wanted to hold me again, but only if things could change. The butterflies
inside me quivered with uncertainly.

Party

My sons 21st birthday party at our house last night. Can hardly remember when I was able to see 4:00 a.m.--not me, but him and friends. Good time for all.

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            “I
expected a call from the airport.” she paused. “Why didn’t you run, Morgan,
why?”

            I’d
thought about this, over and over, knowing she would ask and I just didn’t have
a very good reason, except maybe she’d been right, I’d loved him forever. Maybe
I didn’t know how to stop.

           “He
wouldn’t let me,” I said quietly. “He pushed softly as only Mathew can do. He
took me to Jack’s. We had drinks in the yard. It was hot outside. I kept thinking
I needed to go, but I didn’t. I even picked up the phone to call you and then
hung it back up. I drank wine instead, and then he played his guitar for me,
like he used to.”

            “Morgan, that’s like foreplay to you,”
Gayle said.

Bittersweet

No writing today. Today I get to help my daughter move down the hill in preparation for her second year at the "U". No dorms this year, moving in with her brother and two other roommates. It was so fun having her home for the summer. Will miss her even though she's not that far away.





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Look forward

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            Ryan was reclined in his torn jeans and T-shirt on his bed, when I came
back into his room, his expression now relaxed.

            “What
happened today?” he asked, sitting up on the edge of the bed.

            I sat down
next to him.

           “Nothing specific, I guess. It was a beautiful day. Liz and I talked
about things that made me reflect back, think about the past. Sometimes it’s
just depressing,” I said with a shrug.

          “Why’s that?” he asked, trying to understand.

            “I
don’t know, things that happened, things that didn’t,” I reflected.

            “I try
not to look back,” he said. “Better to look forward.”

            He put his hand on my leg and gave me a reassuring squeeze.

Writer

His dick

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      I picked
a piece of grass, stuck the root end in my mouth, and chewed on it. The texture
was crispy and the taste sweet, like honey.

      “She’s
fucking him,” I said absently.

      Gayle
sat up quickly and looked at me.

      “No
shit? She tell you that?”

      I pulled
the grass from my mouth and threw it away. I smiled a big shit-eating grin at
her.

     “Yeah,
in fact, since they started, that’s all she talks about. ‘How fine’ he is. How
his dick is so big and how she likes to suck on it. So your question is
answered, and I didn’t even have to ask.”

       “Gross,
really? She talks about his dick?”

      “Yeah,”
I laughed.