Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 68
December 6, 2013
'Tis More Blessed Giveaway and Runaway Dog
Every Friday in December, as part of the 'Tis More Blessed Giveaway, hosted by Milo James Fowler, I am giving away free copies of both of my books (That Mama is a Grouch, and That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN) to one lucky winner. Even if you already have copies, feel free to participate, because they could make great gifts for anyone you know. Just leave a comment below for a chance to win. These are hard copies of my book, and I am willing to mail them anywhere in the world. Be sure to visit Milo to find out who else is participating and have a chance to win their books as well.
Now for the story:
Schultz, our three-year-old German Shepherd, has generally been pretty good. When he was a puppy, he was in trouble just about every day, and had numerous time-outs in his crate. Well, his "good streak" ended yesterday. My husband let him outside for a potty break. He even stood outside waiting, because we still don't have a fence for our yard (city permits take forever to get down here in the south!). After Schultz did his business, he started meandering around, sniffing.
"Schultz, come," my husband said.
Schultz didn't listen. He wandered into the woods.
"Uh oh," my husband said. "Come!"
Schultz still didn't listen. Apparently he was on the trail of another deer.
"Schultz!" my husband bellowed.
And what do you think Schultz did next? He ran! Away from my husband to God only knows where.
It took thirty minutes for that beast to find his way back home. And boy, was he in trouble. His Daddy yelled at him and stuck him in his crate for the rest of the day! I don't think he'll be doing that again, any time soon. I hope.
December 5, 2013
Dream Destination Blog Hop
It's time for Lexa and Julie's Dream Destination Blog Hop. I'm supposed to tell you about my dream destination and then invite you over to Lexa or Julie's blog where a Rafflecopter is going on. You can win one of nineteen prizes!Where's my dream destination? That's really a tough one. There are so many interesting places to see in this world, that it's hard to choose just one. I love Paris, because there's always something new to see or do. And I really like Cozumel, Mexico for the SCUBA diving. But I'm going to say my dream destination is Bora Bora. Doesn't it look just heavenly?
So how about you? What's your dream destination?
One more thing: Yesterday, my son informed me that jellyfish are immortal, which is true. Then he said lobsters were immortal. So I had to look it up. And guess what? He was right! Here's the article: http://voices.yahoo.com/lobsters-immortal-7446390.html.
December 4, 2013
Immortal Jellyfish
"Mama," my nine-year-old son said. "Did you know jellyfish are immortal?"
"What?" I couldn't believe it. "Nothing is immortal."
"Jellyfish are. I learned it in school."
"Yeah right," I said.
"But Mama, it's true!"
"Okay, I'm going to look this up." So I did. And guess what? One kind of species of jellyfish is indeed "immortal."
If you want to get enlightened, here's the article.
(Now my son says lobsters are immortal. I'm off to check this out, too!)
"What?" I couldn't believe it. "Nothing is immortal."
"Jellyfish are. I learned it in school."
"Yeah right," I said.
"But Mama, it's true!"
"Okay, I'm going to look this up." So I did. And guess what? One kind of species of jellyfish is indeed "immortal."
If you want to get enlightened, here's the article.
(Now my son says lobsters are immortal. I'm off to check this out, too!)
December 3, 2013
The Good Old Days
One thing I've had my kids do every year since they could write, is create an Illustory book. They come up with a story, illustrate it, and then mail it to a company which turns it into a hard-cover book. The kids like to reread them, looking back and see how their writing and drawings have improved, and seeing what exactly was on their minds each year.
Yesterday, my nine-year-old son found one of the books he had written when he was six. He sat on the sofa and read through it. After reading it, he became rather sentimental. "Mama, this reminds me of when I was a kid."
"When you were a kid?" I asked. "Aren't you still a kid?"
"No," he replied. "When I was a kid, we lived in Cincinnati, and I had a lot of friends. It was fun back then. Now I'm grown up. Not so much fun. I wish I could go back to the good old days."
(Hate to tell you, kid, you're still in the good old days. Just you wait until you become a real grown-up!)
Yesterday, my nine-year-old son found one of the books he had written when he was six. He sat on the sofa and read through it. After reading it, he became rather sentimental. "Mama, this reminds me of when I was a kid."
"When you were a kid?" I asked. "Aren't you still a kid?"
"No," he replied. "When I was a kid, we lived in Cincinnati, and I had a lot of friends. It was fun back then. Now I'm grown up. Not so much fun. I wish I could go back to the good old days."
(Hate to tell you, kid, you're still in the good old days. Just you wait until you become a real grown-up!)
December 2, 2013
Face Painting
Yesterday my kids and I put up the Christmas tree. It's a tradition that after we do so, we make a fancy cup of hot cocoa and drink it while listening to Christmas music and admiring the tree.
I placed a steaming cup of hot cocoa in front of my nine-year-old son and told him that he could put the whipped cream and toppings on it. He grabbed a can of Reddi Wip and sprayed a mountain of the white stuff on top. Then he got the Hershey's chocolate sauce and squeezed about a third of the container onto the mountain he already created.
I looked at that boy and shook my head. "Have a little hot cocoa with your toppings!"
"Mama," he said. "This isn't all for the cocoa. Watch." He dipped his finger into it and spread the goop onto his face. When he was done, he had a white mustache and beard (and a few sprinkles). "See. I decorated my face for Christmas. Now I'm Santa Claus!"
I placed a steaming cup of hot cocoa in front of my nine-year-old son and told him that he could put the whipped cream and toppings on it. He grabbed a can of Reddi Wip and sprayed a mountain of the white stuff on top. Then he got the Hershey's chocolate sauce and squeezed about a third of the container onto the mountain he already created.
I looked at that boy and shook my head. "Have a little hot cocoa with your toppings!"
"Mama," he said. "This isn't all for the cocoa. Watch." He dipped his finger into it and spread the goop onto his face. When he was done, he had a white mustache and beard (and a few sprinkles). "See. I decorated my face for Christmas. Now I'm Santa Claus!"
December 1, 2013
The Squeaky Ball Crisis
Our hundred pound German Shepherd's favorite toy is a rubber squeaky ball. He runs around all day with that thing in his mouth, squeaking away. I find it incredibly annoying, but since the dog enjoys it so much, I let him play with it.
Well, the other day, Schultz broke the squeaker.
Good, I thought. Less noise!
Apparently Schultz did not share my sentiments. He ran around with the ball, dropped it, and stared at me, wondering what the heck was wrong with his toy. He did the same thing with my husband. When he didn't get a reaction from either of us, he shoved the ball in a corner and lay down on the ground, looking completely dejected.
My husband saw how sad the poor beast was. "We really should get him a new squeaky ball."
I looked at the dog. "I suppose."
So that's what we did. We went to the pet store and got Schultz a brand new squeaky ball. Needless to say, when we presented the new toy, Schultz was delighted.
He grabbed that ball and resumed the noise making. And he's still doing it. Too bad it doesn't have an off switch!
Well, the other day, Schultz broke the squeaker.
Good, I thought. Less noise!
Apparently Schultz did not share my sentiments. He ran around with the ball, dropped it, and stared at me, wondering what the heck was wrong with his toy. He did the same thing with my husband. When he didn't get a reaction from either of us, he shoved the ball in a corner and lay down on the ground, looking completely dejected.
My husband saw how sad the poor beast was. "We really should get him a new squeaky ball."
I looked at the dog. "I suppose."
So that's what we did. We went to the pet store and got Schultz a brand new squeaky ball. Needless to say, when we presented the new toy, Schultz was delighted.
He grabbed that ball and resumed the noise making. And he's still doing it. Too bad it doesn't have an off switch!
November 30, 2013
Phone Meal
My kids still keep in touch with their friends from Cincinnati. In fact, they spend hours on the speakerphone, talking with them and playing online video games. Yesterday, they were on the phone. I heard the two boys on the other end giggling and carrying on, just as my kids were. It sounded like my house was full of kids.
I sat down at the kitchen table and listened in on their conversation.
"Dude," my son said to one of the boys. "My mom can hear you. She's right here."
"Oh, hi Mrs. Ellis. I'm hungry," the boy said. "Do you have something to eat?"
"Sure. I'll send you a slice of pizza and some chocolate chip cookies through the phone lines," I answered.
Can't let a thousand miles stand in the way of a hungry boy!
I sat down at the kitchen table and listened in on their conversation.
"Dude," my son said to one of the boys. "My mom can hear you. She's right here."
"Oh, hi Mrs. Ellis. I'm hungry," the boy said. "Do you have something to eat?"
"Sure. I'll send you a slice of pizza and some chocolate chip cookies through the phone lines," I answered.
Can't let a thousand miles stand in the way of a hungry boy!
November 29, 2013
Salmonella Poisoning
I hope all of you who celebrated Thanksgiving had a great day. I sure did. Thank you for all the well-wishes in your comments!
I don't know about you, but I have a lot of leftover turkey. What does one do with leftover turkey? Make sandwiches, of course! This afternoon, for lunch, I piled up a bunch of turkey between some slices of bread, along with apples, poppy seed dressing and cheese. I plopped it in front of my kids and told them to eat it.
My son made a face, but bit into it. "Mama," He said after he swallowed. "Can't you get salmonella poisoning from eating raw turkey?"
"Yes, Bubba, you can."
"Then why are you feeding us raw turkey?"
I laughed. "It's not raw. It's cold. And you won't get salmonella from eating cold, cooked turkey."
"Are you sure, Mama. Because I can taste the salmonella. I think you're trying to poison us."
Oy gewalt!
I don't know about you, but I have a lot of leftover turkey. What does one do with leftover turkey? Make sandwiches, of course! This afternoon, for lunch, I piled up a bunch of turkey between some slices of bread, along with apples, poppy seed dressing and cheese. I plopped it in front of my kids and told them to eat it.
My son made a face, but bit into it. "Mama," He said after he swallowed. "Can't you get salmonella poisoning from eating raw turkey?"
"Yes, Bubba, you can."
"Then why are you feeding us raw turkey?"
I laughed. "It's not raw. It's cold. And you won't get salmonella from eating cold, cooked turkey."
"Are you sure, Mama. Because I can taste the salmonella. I think you're trying to poison us."
Oy gewalt!
November 27, 2013
Donut Dillemma
It's Hanukkah at my pad, which means it's time to make potato latkes and eat jelly donuts. (I know, real healthy, but I didn't invent it, so don't give me any snide remarks!)
I went to the store to pick up the donuts. I scoured that place, but could not find even one jelly-filled donut. Since I don't know where any other donut stores are, and I don't feel like making them from scratch, I bought a dozen glazed donuts. Good enough, I thought.
Unfortunately, my kids didn't think so. "Mom, this isn't right," my daughter said. "We need jelly donuts."
"Listen, this is all I could find. Just deal with it."
"I can't deal with it," my daughter said. "It's Hanukkah and we need jelly donuts!"
I went to the refrigerator and pulled out a jar of grape jelly. I opened it, and smeared a layer of the purple stuff on top of a donut and handed it to her. "There you go. A jelly donut, just for you!"
I don't know if I'll be here tomorrow, but I'd like to wish all of you in the USA who celebrate Thanksgiving, a very Happy Thanksgiving! And in the spirit of the holiday, I'd like to thank all of you for following me and being my blog friends!
I went to the store to pick up the donuts. I scoured that place, but could not find even one jelly-filled donut. Since I don't know where any other donut stores are, and I don't feel like making them from scratch, I bought a dozen glazed donuts. Good enough, I thought.
Unfortunately, my kids didn't think so. "Mom, this isn't right," my daughter said. "We need jelly donuts."
"Listen, this is all I could find. Just deal with it."
"I can't deal with it," my daughter said. "It's Hanukkah and we need jelly donuts!"
I went to the refrigerator and pulled out a jar of grape jelly. I opened it, and smeared a layer of the purple stuff on top of a donut and handed it to her. "There you go. A jelly donut, just for you!"
I don't know if I'll be here tomorrow, but I'd like to wish all of you in the USA who celebrate Thanksgiving, a very Happy Thanksgiving! And in the spirit of the holiday, I'd like to thank all of you for following me and being my blog friends!
November 26, 2013
The Makeup Guru
My twelve-year-old daughter knows a lot about makeup. That's probably because she spends all her free time watching You tube videos of makeup tutorials.
Today, she gave me a makeup tutorial. "Mom, you really should do your eyeliner differently. I think Urban Decay eyeliner would work better than what you're using."
Okay.
"Here, let me show you what kind of makeup you should use to make yourself look pretty." She brought up the Sephora website. If you don't know what Sephora is, it's a huge makeup store. "Here," she said. "Naked Urban Decay eye shadows. That's a basic palate."
I looked at the price - $18.95.
She scrolled down. "You need some lip stains, too."
"Lip stains?" I said. "What's wrong with my lipstick?"
"It doesn't last all day."
Oh.
Price of the collection of lip stains: $365.00.
She continued this way, going through eyeliners, foundations, blush, brushes, and mascara. By the time she was finished, she had about $800 worth of products. "That should do it, Mom. If you get all of these and use them, you might look good."
Might.
Today, she gave me a makeup tutorial. "Mom, you really should do your eyeliner differently. I think Urban Decay eyeliner would work better than what you're using."
Okay.
"Here, let me show you what kind of makeup you should use to make yourself look pretty." She brought up the Sephora website. If you don't know what Sephora is, it's a huge makeup store. "Here," she said. "Naked Urban Decay eye shadows. That's a basic palate."
I looked at the price - $18.95.
She scrolled down. "You need some lip stains, too."
"Lip stains?" I said. "What's wrong with my lipstick?"
"It doesn't last all day."
Oh.
Price of the collection of lip stains: $365.00.
She continued this way, going through eyeliners, foundations, blush, brushes, and mascara. By the time she was finished, she had about $800 worth of products. "That should do it, Mom. If you get all of these and use them, you might look good."
Might.
