Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 67
December 22, 2013
Winner of the Giveaway and Conch Phones
Thank you to all who visited my blog and commented during the 'Tis More Blessed Giveaway. The winner of my books is Kristy Marie Feltenberger Gillespie (Wow, that's a mouthful!) Congratulations, Kristy! I hope you enjoy the books! There will be one more chance to win next Friday, so be sure to stop by.
Now for the story.
My nine-year-old son brought out a couple of conch shells and handed one to me. "Mama, talk into this quietly."
I held it like a microphone and started talking.
"No, Mama. Like this." He put his conch shell up to his ear like a telephone and started talking.
I looked at him kind of funny. "Don't you need some kind of connecting wire between the two shells for it to work like a phone?"
He shook his head and spoke into his shell. "Can you hear me?"
"Yes, Bubba. I hear you."
He walked into the other room and did the same thing. "Can you hear me?"
"Yes, Bubba."
He came back to where I was. "Mama, conch shells are perfect phones. They echo real far, so you don't need wires!"
Okay. Maybe I should suggest using conch shells to the telephone companies. Then we can all walk around with shells plastered to our heads!
Now for the story.
My nine-year-old son brought out a couple of conch shells and handed one to me. "Mama, talk into this quietly."
I held it like a microphone and started talking.
"No, Mama. Like this." He put his conch shell up to his ear like a telephone and started talking.
I looked at him kind of funny. "Don't you need some kind of connecting wire between the two shells for it to work like a phone?"
He shook his head and spoke into his shell. "Can you hear me?"
"Yes, Bubba. I hear you."
He walked into the other room and did the same thing. "Can you hear me?"
"Yes, Bubba."
He came back to where I was. "Mama, conch shells are perfect phones. They echo real far, so you don't need wires!"
Okay. Maybe I should suggest using conch shells to the telephone companies. Then we can all walk around with shells plastered to our heads!
December 20, 2013
'Tis More Blessed Giveaway and an Award
Every Friday in December, as part of the 'Tis More Blessed Giveaway, hosted by Milo James Fowler, I am giving away free copies of both of my books (That Mama is a Grouch, and That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN) to one lucky winner. Even if you already have copies, feel free to participate, because they could make great gifts for anyone you know. Just leave a comment below for a chance to win. These are hard copies of my book, and I am willing to mail them anywhere in the world. Be sure to visit Milo to find out who else is participating and have a chance to win their books as well.
I'd like to thank Deanie Dunne and Susanne Drazic for giving me the Wordpress Family Award.
The rules for this award are:1. Display the award logo on your blog.2. Link back to the person who nominated you.3. Nominate ten others you see as having an impact on your WordPress experience and family.4. Let your ten family members know you have awarded them. That’s it! Just make sure these people have taken you in as a friend/family member, and then spread that love! Here is my list of ten bloggers. All of these people visit my blog regularly. Special thanks to them for always stopping by and leaving comments! If you don't know any of these people, be sure to visit them. They're awesome! DanaThe Happy WhiskDavid WalstonDezmondJanie JunebugPat HattCrystal CollierLiz BlockerHoly Ghost WriterHeather Holden
December 19, 2013
Underwear Overhead
I'm always complaining about my family members not cleaning up their dirty clothes. I don't understand why it's so difficult for them to get their things off the floor and put them in the hamper.
Well, today my husband had a brilliant solution to the problem. I walked into my bedroom and looked up. Hanging from the ceiling fan, was a pair of underwear, an undershirt, and a pair of socks.
"Really?" I said.
My husband came in with a huge grin on his face. "They're not on the floor, are they?"
He had a point. But I bet it took a lot longer to get those things on the fan, than it would've taken to walk over to the hamper and toss them in!
Well, today my husband had a brilliant solution to the problem. I walked into my bedroom and looked up. Hanging from the ceiling fan, was a pair of underwear, an undershirt, and a pair of socks.
"Really?" I said.
My husband came in with a huge grin on his face. "They're not on the floor, are they?"
He had a point. But I bet it took a lot longer to get those things on the fan, than it would've taken to walk over to the hamper and toss them in!
December 17, 2013
Ebook Giveaway and Bringing Back the Dinosaurs
I'm giving away free ebooks on Facebook as part of a Christmas Author Fest that's going on over there. I'm also celebrating getting 500 likes on my Facebook fan page. Because you are all so awesome, I didn't want to leave you guys out of the fun, so here's the information on how to get free electronic copies of That Mama is a Grouch and That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN. (I'm still giving hard copies of them each Friday in December, so be sure to stop by again for that.)
That Mama is a Grouch is available on Smashwords. Use coupon code ZW62Y. Offer expires December 31, 2013.
That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN is available on Amazon. Offer expires December 22, 2013.
Now for the story:
"Mama," my nine-year-old son said. "Wouldn't it be cool to have a Tyrannosaurus Rex?"
I looked at that kid. "No. T-Rexes are pretty fierce. I wouldn't want one running around my house!'
"But Mama, if you trained it when it was a baby, I'm sure it could be good."
"No, Bubba. A T-Rex is not a creature that can be domesticated. And even if it was good, it would take one step and demolish everything!"
He thought about that. "How about a pterodactyl? It would be like a big parakeet."
I shook my head. "You couldn't have a dinosaur even if you wanted one. They're extinct."
"I could bring them back to life from fossils."
"Really?"
The boy grinned. "Yeah. You can extract their DNA from the rocks and grow a new one."
"I don't think so, Bubba."
"I know it can be done. And when I'm a grown up, I'm going to do it!"
So, ladies and gentlemen, if in about twenty years you see a triceratops in your backyard, you can thank Bubba.
That Mama is a Grouch is available on Smashwords. Use coupon code ZW62Y. Offer expires December 31, 2013.
That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN is available on Amazon. Offer expires December 22, 2013.
Now for the story:
"Mama," my nine-year-old son said. "Wouldn't it be cool to have a Tyrannosaurus Rex?"
I looked at that kid. "No. T-Rexes are pretty fierce. I wouldn't want one running around my house!'
"But Mama, if you trained it when it was a baby, I'm sure it could be good."
"No, Bubba. A T-Rex is not a creature that can be domesticated. And even if it was good, it would take one step and demolish everything!"
He thought about that. "How about a pterodactyl? It would be like a big parakeet."
I shook my head. "You couldn't have a dinosaur even if you wanted one. They're extinct."
"I could bring them back to life from fossils."
"Really?"
The boy grinned. "Yeah. You can extract their DNA from the rocks and grow a new one."
"I don't think so, Bubba."
"I know it can be done. And when I'm a grown up, I'm going to do it!"
So, ladies and gentlemen, if in about twenty years you see a triceratops in your backyard, you can thank Bubba.
December 16, 2013
Where the Socks Go
Have you ever wondered where socks disappear to when they get washed and dried? I always seem to have at least one sock without a pair when I finish the laundry. Well, now I have the answer. The dryer eats them! How do I know? Let me tell you.
I had finished another load of laundry, and as I always do, I took the lint catcher out to clean it. I normally do not look in the space where the lint catcher sits, but out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a dust bunny. I bent down for a closer inspection. Sure enough, it was a dust bunny. A giant one that looked to be about the size of a hare. I pulled it out. That's when I discovered that the dust bunny was attached to a pair of underwear.
Hmmm, I thought and tossed it on the floor. I looked inside and saw that there was something else still down there. I couldn't reach it with my fingers, so I grabbed the closest thing I could - a paint brush. I maneuvered the handle into the crevice and came up with something else. A sock!
To make a long story short, the paintbrush and I pulled out two pairs of underwear, and four socks - all covered in dust.
So ladies and gentlemen, learn from me. If your socks go missing, open up your dryer, lift out the lint catcher, and see what your machine has been snacking on.
I had finished another load of laundry, and as I always do, I took the lint catcher out to clean it. I normally do not look in the space where the lint catcher sits, but out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a dust bunny. I bent down for a closer inspection. Sure enough, it was a dust bunny. A giant one that looked to be about the size of a hare. I pulled it out. That's when I discovered that the dust bunny was attached to a pair of underwear.
Hmmm, I thought and tossed it on the floor. I looked inside and saw that there was something else still down there. I couldn't reach it with my fingers, so I grabbed the closest thing I could - a paint brush. I maneuvered the handle into the crevice and came up with something else. A sock!
To make a long story short, the paintbrush and I pulled out two pairs of underwear, and four socks - all covered in dust.
So ladies and gentlemen, learn from me. If your socks go missing, open up your dryer, lift out the lint catcher, and see what your machine has been snacking on.
December 15, 2013
Winner of the Giveaway and Finger Thermometer
Thanks to everyone who left a comment during the 'Tis More Blessed giveaway. Helena is the lucky winner! There will be two more chances in December to win, so be sure to stop by this Friday for another opportunity.
Now for the story.
My nine-year-old son, Bubba, hasn't been feeling well. He wanted me to take his temperature.
"Sorry, Bubba," I said. "All the thermometers in the house are broken." I felt his forehead. "You feel okay. Maybe it's just a cold."
"No, Mama. I have a fever." He stuck his finger in his mouth.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
He held up his other finger, indicating that I should wait. When he was done, he pulled out his finger and looked at it. "Just what I thought. 99.9 degrees. I have a fever."
"A finger thermometer?"
He nodded. "Yep. They're the best kind!"
Now for the story.
My nine-year-old son, Bubba, hasn't been feeling well. He wanted me to take his temperature.
"Sorry, Bubba," I said. "All the thermometers in the house are broken." I felt his forehead. "You feel okay. Maybe it's just a cold."
"No, Mama. I have a fever." He stuck his finger in his mouth.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
He held up his other finger, indicating that I should wait. When he was done, he pulled out his finger and looked at it. "Just what I thought. 99.9 degrees. I have a fever."
"A finger thermometer?"
He nodded. "Yep. They're the best kind!"
December 13, 2013
'Tis More Blessed Giveaway and Mr. Conversationalist
Every Friday in December, as part of the 'Tis More Blessed Giveaway, hosted by Milo James Fowler, I am giving away free copies of both of my books (That Mama is a Grouch, and That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN) to one lucky winner. Even if you already have copies, feel free to participate, because they could make great gifts for anyone you know. Just leave a comment below for a chance to win. These are hard copies of my book, and I am willing to mail them anywhere in the world. Be sure to visit Milo to find out who else is participating and have a chance to win their books as well.
And now for the story:
My nine-year-old son likes to talk to everyone he meets. He'll go up to random strangers and just start asking them about their day.
Yesterday, I took the boy to get a hair cut. When it was his turn, he sat in the chair and yappity yapped about whatever was on his mind at the moment. The stylist, an Asian man, interjected a comment or two.
After we had left, Bubba commented, "Mama, I didn't understand a word that guy said. But since I'm so good at talking, it didn't matter!"
December 11, 2013
Mama Marinade
I pulled a pork loin out of the refrigerator and slopped a mixture of mustard, apple cider vinegar, and basil on it. Then I tossed it in the oven. "I have to go to work," I announced. "Can you pull this thing out of the oven when it's ready?"
"Sure," my husband said.
I left. A few hours later, when I came back, I asked my husband how the pork was.
"It was good, but it took a lot longer to cook than you said."
"Oh. That doesn't surprise me," I replied. "It was a little bit frozen when I put it in the oven."
"What? You marinated a frozen loin?"
"Partially frozen," I corrected.
"Woman, that's like frosting a frozen cake."
"So? You can frost a frozen cake. Just like you can marinate a partially frozen loin. Just deal with it!"
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I don't work in a fancy restaurant!
"Sure," my husband said.
I left. A few hours later, when I came back, I asked my husband how the pork was.
"It was good, but it took a lot longer to cook than you said."
"Oh. That doesn't surprise me," I replied. "It was a little bit frozen when I put it in the oven."
"What? You marinated a frozen loin?"
"Partially frozen," I corrected.
"Woman, that's like frosting a frozen cake."
"So? You can frost a frozen cake. Just like you can marinate a partially frozen loin. Just deal with it!"
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I don't work in a fancy restaurant!
December 10, 2013
The Magic Belly Button
Every day, I test my nine-year-old son on his math facts, using flash cards. Yesterday, we worked on multiplication. He did well for a while, then he had a harder problem. He grabbed the card from my hand, pulled up his shirt, and shoved the card in the little crease by his belly button.
"What exactly are you doing?" I asked.
"Math," he said.
"How is shoving a flash card in your belly button, doing math?"
"It's a magic belly button. It reads the card and tells me the answer." He looked down at the card and jiggled it around his belly button. "Eighty-one," he announced.
I took the card from him. "Right." I gave him another problem and he did the same thing.
"Sixty-three," he answered.
"Mmm hmmm," I said.
"See, Mama. It works. Don't you wish you had a magic belly button?"
Um, yeah.
"What exactly are you doing?" I asked.
"Math," he said.
"How is shoving a flash card in your belly button, doing math?"
"It's a magic belly button. It reads the card and tells me the answer." He looked down at the card and jiggled it around his belly button. "Eighty-one," he announced.
I took the card from him. "Right." I gave him another problem and he did the same thing.
"Sixty-three," he answered.
"Mmm hmmm," I said.
"See, Mama. It works. Don't you wish you had a magic belly button?"
Um, yeah.
December 9, 2013
Winner of the Giveaway and Cut Out Cut Out Cookies
Thank you to everyone who visited and left comments in the "Tis More Blessed Giveaway hosted by Milo James Fowler. The winner of my two books is Janie Junebug! Congratulations, Janie!
I'll do the giveaway again this Friday, so please stop by for another chance to win.
Now for the story:
'Tis the season for baking Christmas cookies. Yesterday, I made cut out cookies - sugar cookies in fancy shapes, decorated with way too many sprinkles. When they had cooled, by kids naturally wanted to try some.
"One cookie," I said.
They each grabbed the biggest one they could find.
My son, who had taken a bell-shaped cookie, started meticulously biting into it. I watched him, fascinated. After he had taken a few bites, he showed me the result. "A moose," he announced.
"Nice," I said.
He munched some more. After a few more bites, he held up a star.
"Pretty good," I said.
Finally, he munched his way to a circle. "A snowball."
He plopped that thing into his mouth. "I didn't have one cookie, Mama. I had four!"
What a genius!
I'll do the giveaway again this Friday, so please stop by for another chance to win.
Now for the story:
'Tis the season for baking Christmas cookies. Yesterday, I made cut out cookies - sugar cookies in fancy shapes, decorated with way too many sprinkles. When they had cooled, by kids naturally wanted to try some.
"One cookie," I said.
They each grabbed the biggest one they could find.
My son, who had taken a bell-shaped cookie, started meticulously biting into it. I watched him, fascinated. After he had taken a few bites, he showed me the result. "A moose," he announced.
"Nice," I said.
He munched some more. After a few more bites, he held up a star.
"Pretty good," I said.
Finally, he munched his way to a circle. "A snowball."
He plopped that thing into his mouth. "I didn't have one cookie, Mama. I had four!"
What a genius!
