Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 146
May 3, 2011
Life
This afternoon my six-year-old son and I played the game of Life. In case you are unfamiliar with the game, it's a game in which players move around a board earning money and losing money while following the natural progression of life (getting married, having kids, retiring, etc.).
My son decided he wanted to be the banker. I hestitated on that one, but decided to let him give it a try. He sorted the money his way. When he was done, I looked at the piles. He had all of the hundred thousand dollar bills, while I had all of the promissory notes.
"What's this?" I asked.
"It's life - I have all the money, and you're broke!"
(They learn young, don't they?)
My son decided he wanted to be the banker. I hestitated on that one, but decided to let him give it a try. He sorted the money his way. When he was done, I looked at the piles. He had all of the hundred thousand dollar bills, while I had all of the promissory notes.
"What's this?" I asked.
"It's life - I have all the money, and you're broke!"
(They learn young, don't they?)
May 2, 2011
Dog Genious
Our seven-month old German Shepherd puppy decided he wanted to watch TV today. I was busy teaching, and I had the dog leashed on the back door. The dog is now tall enough to unleash himself. So that is what he did. He promptly walked into the family room, found the remote on the table, and chewed on it, causing the television to turn on.
I heard the TV, so I decided to investigate. The dog genious was lying down in front of the TV, chewing on the remote, watching a hockey game. He seemed to be pleased. I most certainly was not!
I heard the TV, so I decided to investigate. The dog genious was lying down in front of the TV, chewing on the remote, watching a hockey game. He seemed to be pleased. I most certainly was not!
May 1, 2011
The Egg Story
Last weekend I boiled some eggs so that my kids could color them for Easter. I thought I had boiled them long enough. I turned off the stove and let them cool. When they had cooled sufficiently, I put them back in the egg carton and placed them in the refrigerator. I little while later, when my kids were ready to color them, I took them out. They colored them beautiful shades of purple, pink, orange, yellow, and green. When the dye dried, I put them back in the egg carton and placed them in the refrigerator once again.
The next day was Easter. I had planned to make stuffed eggs with the colored Easter eggs. I took the eggs out of the refrigerator and proceeded to crack the eggs. Much to my surprise, I found the eggs appeared to have not been boiled enough. I could see the yolk was still quite runny. I checked all of the eggs, and they were all the same. "Oh well," I thought. "It's just another culinary malfunction." I tossed the eggs and didn't think any more about it.
Today I was planning on making scrambled eggs for my family's breakfast. I went into the refrigerator and pulled out the remaining carton of eggs. I cracked an egg. It didn't spill out as expected. I took a closer look. It was a hard boiled egg! They were all hard boiled eggs!
Silly mommy!
The next day was Easter. I had planned to make stuffed eggs with the colored Easter eggs. I took the eggs out of the refrigerator and proceeded to crack the eggs. Much to my surprise, I found the eggs appeared to have not been boiled enough. I could see the yolk was still quite runny. I checked all of the eggs, and they were all the same. "Oh well," I thought. "It's just another culinary malfunction." I tossed the eggs and didn't think any more about it.
Today I was planning on making scrambled eggs for my family's breakfast. I went into the refrigerator and pulled out the remaining carton of eggs. I cracked an egg. It didn't spill out as expected. I took a closer look. It was a hard boiled egg! They were all hard boiled eggs!
Silly mommy!
April 30, 2011
Craziness at the Haircutter's
My daughter was in serious need of a haircut. Because of my teaching schedule, it is very difficult to find time to get the job done. Tonight we finally got around to it. When we got to the shop, it was late, so my little guy was a bit over tired. You know how over tired kids get: silly! Well, he was in super silly mode. He absolutely could not sit in his chair. On top of that, it was a forty minute wait for the haircut. I decided we simply could not stay in the shop for forty minutes. We killed some time at a nearby store . My son was rather hyper, so when the sales clerk gave me one of those, "When are you going to get out of here, lady?' looks, I decided we should exit.
As soon as we got into the haircut place, he got on his belly and started slithering like a snake. The other customers looked at me kind of funny.
"Please sit in the chair and try to behave," I said.
He sat under the chair. (At least he was sitting.) Then he started crawling around under all of the chairs.
"What are you doing?' I asked.
"Exploring a cave system," he responded.
"What are you finding?"
"Cave spiders."
I looked under the chair. Yes, there was a dead spider.
One of the customers gave me one of those, "You have your hands full" looks.
Twenty minutes later the haircut was done and I dragged my crazy little boy out of there - with an orange helium balloon that didn't have a string. I'm still trying to figure out where that went.
As soon as we got into the haircut place, he got on his belly and started slithering like a snake. The other customers looked at me kind of funny.
"Please sit in the chair and try to behave," I said.
He sat under the chair. (At least he was sitting.) Then he started crawling around under all of the chairs.
"What are you doing?' I asked.
"Exploring a cave system," he responded.
"What are you finding?"
"Cave spiders."
I looked under the chair. Yes, there was a dead spider.
One of the customers gave me one of those, "You have your hands full" looks.
Twenty minutes later the haircut was done and I dragged my crazy little boy out of there - with an orange helium balloon that didn't have a string. I'm still trying to figure out where that went.
April 29, 2011
Rainbow Land
We've had a lot of rain here in Cincinnati. This evening, while the sun was shining, it continued to rain. The result was a rainbow. Actually there were several rainbows. I saw a double rainbow, a regular rainbow, and a blotch of rainbow in the sky. My kids, of course, were thrilled, especially since one of the rainbows seemed to be hovering close to our house.
We admired the pretty sky on the way to taking my daughter to dance class.
When we entered the dance studio, my son proudly announced to anyone who would listen, "I live in the house next to the rainbow."
Does that mean there's a pot of gold nearby? Maybe I should start looking. I could really use a pot of gold for all of those dog expenses!
We admired the pretty sky on the way to taking my daughter to dance class.
When we entered the dance studio, my son proudly announced to anyone who would listen, "I live in the house next to the rainbow."
Does that mean there's a pot of gold nearby? Maybe I should start looking. I could really use a pot of gold for all of those dog expenses!
April 27, 2011
Twenty Reasons Not to Own a Big Dog
Our dear German Shepherd puppy was at it again today. My husband had just fixed the screen door that the dog ripped out a couple of weeks ago. So what did the dog do first thing this morning? He ripped it to shreds! So, as I sit staring at the tattered screen blowing in the wind, I feel compelled to write a list of reasons why you should absolutely positively not get a big dog.
Here they are:
1. He'll bark and wake you up at 6:00 AM.
2. He'll dump your garbage all over the floor and try to eat it.
3. He'll eat your grill cover.
4. He'll eat your grill ignition switch
5. He'll eat your tulips and garden plants.
6. He'll eat your trees.
7. He'll chew your kitchen chairs.
8. He'll pee on your kitchen floor.
9. He'll leave giant turds all over your yard.
10. He'll play with other dogs and end up with mangled body parts.
11. He'll dig holes in your yard.
12. He'll leave muddy paw prints all over your carpet and furniture.
13. He'll leave hair and drool wherever he goes.
14. He'll nip at your fingers and toes.
15. He stinks even when he's clean.
16. He'll shred your screen doors.
17. He'll bleed all over your floor if you trim his nails the wrong way.
18. He'll eat your wind chimes and garden ornaments.
19. He'll chew your kids' toys.
20. He'll make you end up in the poor house with all of the vet visits, pet store purchases, and home repairs!
If you're thinking about getting a big dog, DON'T DO IT! Learn from my mistake!
Here they are:
1. He'll bark and wake you up at 6:00 AM.
2. He'll dump your garbage all over the floor and try to eat it.
3. He'll eat your grill cover.
4. He'll eat your grill ignition switch
5. He'll eat your tulips and garden plants.
6. He'll eat your trees.
7. He'll chew your kitchen chairs.
8. He'll pee on your kitchen floor.
9. He'll leave giant turds all over your yard.
10. He'll play with other dogs and end up with mangled body parts.
11. He'll dig holes in your yard.
12. He'll leave muddy paw prints all over your carpet and furniture.
13. He'll leave hair and drool wherever he goes.
14. He'll nip at your fingers and toes.
15. He stinks even when he's clean.
16. He'll shred your screen doors.
17. He'll bleed all over your floor if you trim his nails the wrong way.
18. He'll eat your wind chimes and garden ornaments.
19. He'll chew your kids' toys.
20. He'll make you end up in the poor house with all of the vet visits, pet store purchases, and home repairs!
If you're thinking about getting a big dog, DON'T DO IT! Learn from my mistake!
April 26, 2011
Mud
Now that the bloody dog drama is over, I can concentrate on other things - like mud.
"Mom, can I go outside and play?' my six-year-old son asked.
"Yes, but stay away from the creek," I replied. "It's a muddy mess from all of the rain."
A few minutes later, my daughter asked if she could go out. I gave her the same instructions. I watched my kids for a while to make sure they were listening. They seemed to be doing a good job, so I went about my business cleaning up dog hair.
Thirty minutes later my kids came back in the house. They were filthy! Obviously they had gotten into some mud.
I looked at my son. He was soaked.
"What happened to you?" I asked.
"I fell into the creek."
"I thought I told you to stay away from the creek," I replied completely exasperated.
"Yeah, but we were playing a spy game, and it was muddy, and I slipped."
As my kids went to their rooms, I looked at the floor. I now have muddy kid footprints and doggy prints streaked across my beautiful hardwood floor. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother cleaning.
"Mom, can I go outside and play?' my six-year-old son asked.
"Yes, but stay away from the creek," I replied. "It's a muddy mess from all of the rain."
A few minutes later, my daughter asked if she could go out. I gave her the same instructions. I watched my kids for a while to make sure they were listening. They seemed to be doing a good job, so I went about my business cleaning up dog hair.
Thirty minutes later my kids came back in the house. They were filthy! Obviously they had gotten into some mud.
I looked at my son. He was soaked.
"What happened to you?" I asked.
"I fell into the creek."
"I thought I told you to stay away from the creek," I replied completely exasperated.
"Yeah, but we were playing a spy game, and it was muddy, and I slipped."
As my kids went to their rooms, I looked at the floor. I now have muddy kid footprints and doggy prints streaked across my beautiful hardwood floor. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother cleaning.
April 24, 2011
Wrestling the Dog
This is part two of yesterday's madness with the dog. A quick recap: Our seven-month-old German Shepherd puppy (if you want to call him that) had a toe nail trim that didn't go so well. The result was a bloody mess that just wouldn't stop. After two hours of bleeding, my husband and I decided we needed to try to do something else for the varmit.
And so began Operation Bandage Puppy. We hauled the bloody beast outside and washed him off. Then it was time to hold him down to wrap his foot. I had the job of holding him. I am a rather petite person, so that was a very good trick. Of course the weather didn't cooperate. There I was, in the pouring rain, at night, wrestling a very strong eighty pound hairy, bloody beast. Let's just say, it wasn't my idea of fun!
Fortunately, the operation was a success. The bleeding stopped. He'll still have to see the vet tomorrow, but at least he'll be okay. As for my husband and me, I think we have been completely truamatized by the experience. And my arms are still aching!
And so began Operation Bandage Puppy. We hauled the bloody beast outside and washed him off. Then it was time to hold him down to wrap his foot. I had the job of holding him. I am a rather petite person, so that was a very good trick. Of course the weather didn't cooperate. There I was, in the pouring rain, at night, wrestling a very strong eighty pound hairy, bloody beast. Let's just say, it wasn't my idea of fun!
Fortunately, the operation was a success. The bleeding stopped. He'll still have to see the vet tomorrow, but at least he'll be okay. As for my husband and me, I think we have been completely truamatized by the experience. And my arms are still aching!
April 23, 2011
Bloody Paws
Didn't I just write a post about blood a couple of weeks ago? Well, here we go again. This time the dog's toe nails got clipped a little too low. Blood started oozing everywhere.. There was blood on the floor, blood all over the dog, blood on my socks, blood on my pants, and blood all over my husband's shirt.
"That's nothing," my husband said. "It looks worse than it is."
I looked at him quizzically. "Are you sure?" It certainly didn't look good to me.
We put the dog in his crate and cleaned up the mess. Meanwhile, the dog was going around in circles licking the blood off of the floor of his crate.
"I'm going to go to Walgreens and get something for him," my husband announced.
"Okay," I said.
He came back with some cauterizing stuff. I tried to hold the dog down as my husband attempted to apply the stuff to the wound. That didn't go well. I think it made it worse. The dog was yiping and more blood oozed out. There was blood on the floor, blood on my socks.....you get the picture.
It's two hours later and the dog is still in his crate, going around in circles licking his blood. Of course the vet isn't in now.
Will this dog saga ever stop?
"That's nothing," my husband said. "It looks worse than it is."
I looked at him quizzically. "Are you sure?" It certainly didn't look good to me.
We put the dog in his crate and cleaned up the mess. Meanwhile, the dog was going around in circles licking the blood off of the floor of his crate.
"I'm going to go to Walgreens and get something for him," my husband announced.
"Okay," I said.
He came back with some cauterizing stuff. I tried to hold the dog down as my husband attempted to apply the stuff to the wound. That didn't go well. I think it made it worse. The dog was yiping and more blood oozed out. There was blood on the floor, blood on my socks.....you get the picture.
It's two hours later and the dog is still in his crate, going around in circles licking his blood. Of course the vet isn't in now.
Will this dog saga ever stop?
April 22, 2011
30 Seconds to Destruction
The kids came home today after being gone for four days. First, my son charged in the door. He had the remains of Oreo cookies plastered on his face. He planted a cookie crumb kiss on my cheek and deposited his suitcase and coat in the middle of the kitchen floor. Then my daughter came in. She was considerably neater in appearance, but she still deposited her suitcase and coat in the middle of the floor. Then the grandparents came in. They deposited an assortment of things on the kitchen table and countertop.
A few seconds later my son called down. "Mom, can you fix my Lego starfighter? The wings fell off."
I went upstairs and saw that the loft was completely covered in Lego pieces.
In thirty seconds, my neat and tidy house became a scene of utter destruction. It's so nice to have my kids home!
A few seconds later my son called down. "Mom, can you fix my Lego starfighter? The wings fell off."
I went upstairs and saw that the loft was completely covered in Lego pieces.
In thirty seconds, my neat and tidy house became a scene of utter destruction. It's so nice to have my kids home!
