Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 144
May 28, 2011
Turtle Day Care
My son was playing in the woods with his friends when he found the box turtle he had harrassed last fall. Somehow the reptile had survived the harsh winter. That turtle must have a really bad memory, or he's a glutton for punishment.
The boys picked him up and put him in the cold creek water. Fortunately I happened to be there when they did this and put an immediate stop to it. I told them that they needed to be nice to the turtle.
That gave them the brilliant idea to open a Turtle Day Care. The boys took turns caring for the animal. They groomed his shell. They found leaves and worms for him to eat. They even built him a little shelter. With all of that pampering, the boys might find themselves with a few more shelled visitors!
The boys picked him up and put him in the cold creek water. Fortunately I happened to be there when they did this and put an immediate stop to it. I told them that they needed to be nice to the turtle.
That gave them the brilliant idea to open a Turtle Day Care. The boys took turns caring for the animal. They groomed his shell. They found leaves and worms for him to eat. They even built him a little shelter. With all of that pampering, the boys might find themselves with a few more shelled visitors!
May 27, 2011
Catnip Crazy
Our cat loves catnip. We sprinkle some on the ground and he rolls around in it like a mad man. My son observed this strange behavior and decided to see if catnip had a similar effect on him.
He grabbed the container of catnip, opened it and sniffed.
Then he started rolling around on the ground just like the cat.
The cat stopped, stared at him, and ran off.
Needless to say, I'll be keeping the catnip away from my boy.
He grabbed the container of catnip, opened it and sniffed.
Then he started rolling around on the ground just like the cat.
The cat stopped, stared at him, and ran off.
Needless to say, I'll be keeping the catnip away from my boy.
May 26, 2011
Ant Eater
"I have some new friends," my six-year-old son announced.
"Oh, yeah?" I asked. "Who are they?"
"One's an ant, one's a bee, and one is a spider. Do you want to meet them?"
"Sure," I said.
He took me over and introduced me to the ant, the bee, and the spider.
Unfortunately our dog had to get in on the action. The ant was particularly interesting to the big bad beast. He watched the little insect scurry around. Then he sniffed it. He must've decided that it would taste good, because then his big pink tongue flicked out and scooped the ant into his big old mouth.
Needless to say, my son was very upset that his friend became dog food.
All I can say, is I hope that little ant bit up that pink tongue before it was swallowed!
"Oh, yeah?" I asked. "Who are they?"
"One's an ant, one's a bee, and one is a spider. Do you want to meet them?"
"Sure," I said.
He took me over and introduced me to the ant, the bee, and the spider.
Unfortunately our dog had to get in on the action. The ant was particularly interesting to the big bad beast. He watched the little insect scurry around. Then he sniffed it. He must've decided that it would taste good, because then his big pink tongue flicked out and scooped the ant into his big old mouth.
Needless to say, my son was very upset that his friend became dog food.
All I can say, is I hope that little ant bit up that pink tongue before it was swallowed!
May 25, 2011
The Demise of the Lamp Shade
The lamp shade collar my German Shepherd puppy had been wearing is finally gone. I didn't remove it though. The dog's Husky buddies next door helped him out.
He was driving me nuts with his barking again, while I was trying to teach. So I let the beast outside. I don't know quite how it happened, but the Huskies got a hold of the collar, tore it off, and dragged it under the fence into their yard.
I found out about this when my neighbor rang the door bell.
"Hi," she said. "We have of few of your things in our yard."
"Uh, oh," I thought.
She told me about the cone. Then she said there was a tent in her yard.
I had set up my kids' tent on the other side of the fence so they could play in it. Apparently after being liberated from the collar, our beast poked his head under the wire fence and grabbed the tent, dragging it into our yard and shredding it. Then he gave it to the Huskies as a present for helping him out of his collar.
Those nasty, cunning, wild animals!
He was driving me nuts with his barking again, while I was trying to teach. So I let the beast outside. I don't know quite how it happened, but the Huskies got a hold of the collar, tore it off, and dragged it under the fence into their yard.
I found out about this when my neighbor rang the door bell.
"Hi," she said. "We have of few of your things in our yard."
"Uh, oh," I thought.
She told me about the cone. Then she said there was a tent in her yard.
I had set up my kids' tent on the other side of the fence so they could play in it. Apparently after being liberated from the collar, our beast poked his head under the wire fence and grabbed the tent, dragging it into our yard and shredding it. Then he gave it to the Huskies as a present for helping him out of his collar.
Those nasty, cunning, wild animals!
May 24, 2011
The Big Storm
I was on the road, taking my daughter to her dance lessons when the storm sirens went off. The sky looked ominous as the black clouds rolled in.
I rolled into the parking lot as the first flashes of lightening streaked across the sky. We dashed into the building. What we found was mass pandemonium. The weather channel was playing on the radio. Tornadoes had been sighted nearby.
"What should we do with the kids?" one teacher asked.
"Put them in the storage room. Put them them in the bathroom. Get them out of the classrooms!" the adults shouted.
So that's what they did. All of the students were bunched up in a bathroom and a storage room. That's where they stayed for thirty minutes.
Meanwhile, I took a seat at the front of the building. I had a great view of Mother Nature's big show. It was just a thunder storm. Nothing more.
Now if we were in Missouri it would have been another story.
I rolled into the parking lot as the first flashes of lightening streaked across the sky. We dashed into the building. What we found was mass pandemonium. The weather channel was playing on the radio. Tornadoes had been sighted nearby.
"What should we do with the kids?" one teacher asked.
"Put them in the storage room. Put them them in the bathroom. Get them out of the classrooms!" the adults shouted.
So that's what they did. All of the students were bunched up in a bathroom and a storage room. That's where they stayed for thirty minutes.
Meanwhile, I took a seat at the front of the building. I had a great view of Mother Nature's big show. It was just a thunder storm. Nothing more.
Now if we were in Missouri it would have been another story.
May 22, 2011
Lamp Shade Head Strikes Again
You would think that a dog with an Elizabethan collar that covers his face would not get in trouble. Our dog could find a way to get in trouble even if he was in a straight jacket!
The poor creature was getting stir-crazy from being in his crate for four days. (He had been neutered, so we were instructed to keep him relatively quiet. Ha ha!)
Lamp Shade Head was driving us nuts with his barking, so we let him out. The hope was that he would blow off some steam and be a content, quiet dog. Let me just say, he had a lot of steam! He promptly located the grill ignition wires and ripped those out. Then he attacked the nice plastic box we keep the hose in. Now it's missing the handle which cranks the hose. I swear, if that dog had access to our cars, he would rip apart the wheels and tear off the hub caps!
What the heck am I going to do with that animal?
The poor creature was getting stir-crazy from being in his crate for four days. (He had been neutered, so we were instructed to keep him relatively quiet. Ha ha!)
Lamp Shade Head was driving us nuts with his barking, so we let him out. The hope was that he would blow off some steam and be a content, quiet dog. Let me just say, he had a lot of steam! He promptly located the grill ignition wires and ripped those out. Then he attacked the nice plastic box we keep the hose in. Now it's missing the handle which cranks the hose. I swear, if that dog had access to our cars, he would rip apart the wheels and tear off the hub caps!
What the heck am I going to do with that animal?
May 20, 2011
Lamp Shade Head
It's day three of our German Shepherd puppy's banishment to the crate. He was neutered, and as a result he's had to wear a funky collar that looks like a lamp shade over his head. It's driving him crazy!
As soon as I let him out of the crate for a potty break, he charged around the kitchen, pulling me with him as he went. He crashed into the table. He knocked over chairs. He rammed into the sliding glass doors. The dog is a maniac! Why can't he carefully manuever his way around? That's what I would do if I was a dog!
But I'm not a dog. I'm a mom - a loving, nurturing mom. So I guided him outside and spoke to him quietly, trying to calm him down. He sat for a moment and listened. Then he lay down and attempted to pull out his stitches. (Thank God he was wearing his cone!). Then he suddenly bolted and dragged me around the yard. It was a sight to behold. Little me being dragged around by a dog with a lamp shade over his head.
Gosh darn it. Why did we have to get an eighty-five pound puppy?
As soon as I let him out of the crate for a potty break, he charged around the kitchen, pulling me with him as he went. He crashed into the table. He knocked over chairs. He rammed into the sliding glass doors. The dog is a maniac! Why can't he carefully manuever his way around? That's what I would do if I was a dog!
But I'm not a dog. I'm a mom - a loving, nurturing mom. So I guided him outside and spoke to him quietly, trying to calm him down. He sat for a moment and listened. Then he lay down and attempted to pull out his stitches. (Thank God he was wearing his cone!). Then he suddenly bolted and dragged me around the yard. It was a sight to behold. Little me being dragged around by a dog with a lamp shade over his head.
Gosh darn it. Why did we have to get an eighty-five pound puppy?
May 19, 2011
Hair Goop
It's that time of year when the dancers at the dance studio prepare for their showcase performances. Do you know what that means? It means moms have to plaster their kid's hair into unnatural styles and cake way too much makeup on their kid's faces.
This evening my daughter got out her big green tube of hair gel. "Here, Mom, I need you to do my hair."
"What's the style?"
"A side pony tale with a right part." Of course that's the exact opposite of her natural part.
I brushed her hair. I sprayed her hair. I put her hair in a side pony tale and pinned it in place. Then the goop came out. We slicked back her bangs. We tamed the wisps. Then we sprayed it all in place. Her hair was like a cement slab when we were done. And my hands were a sticky mess.
I love hair goop!
This evening my daughter got out her big green tube of hair gel. "Here, Mom, I need you to do my hair."
"What's the style?"
"A side pony tale with a right part." Of course that's the exact opposite of her natural part.
I brushed her hair. I sprayed her hair. I put her hair in a side pony tale and pinned it in place. Then the goop came out. We slicked back her bangs. We tamed the wisps. Then we sprayed it all in place. Her hair was like a cement slab when we were done. And my hands were a sticky mess.
I love hair goop!
May 18, 2011
The Cone of Shame
Our German Shepherd puppy got neutered today. He came out of the vet clinic wearing a huge plastic cone-shaped collar that covered his head. He looked ridiculous. He bumped into walls. He bumped into furniture. He crashed into the car trying to get in. He was a mess.
When we got home, I took him into the back yard to do his business. The two huskies next door came over and stared at him. What humiliation! The poor dog not only has a sore bottom, but he has to look like an idiot for two weeks, enduring ridicule from the animals next door. And he can't even have a proper sniff.
My heart goes out for him, even if he is a big, dirty, smelly, obnoxious dog!
When we got home, I took him into the back yard to do his business. The two huskies next door came over and stared at him. What humiliation! The poor dog not only has a sore bottom, but he has to look like an idiot for two weeks, enduring ridicule from the animals next door. And he can't even have a proper sniff.
My heart goes out for him, even if he is a big, dirty, smelly, obnoxious dog!
May 17, 2011
Dog Dirt
I really wish it would stop raining in Cincinnati! I don't really mind the rain. I do mind the mud. I'm talking about the mud my big old German Shepherd puppy tracks in.
Normally the dog has a nice tan colored underbelly. This afternoon after I had let him out, he came back in the house and his underbelly was completely black. His legs were black. His face was black. Even his tongue was black. In short, he was an absolutely disgusting, filthy mess.
Then the dog had the nerve to track up my nice clean kitchen floor. He shook himself and the mud landed on the walls. Did I mention how much he stunk? Wet dirty dogs do not smell good!
I got out the mop and started mopping. I washed the walls. I cleaned everything except the dog. I don't think I'm ever going to let him out of his crate again. Oh, wait a minute. That would mean even more messes if he doesn't go outside for a potty break. Ugh. Does anybody out there want a dirty, stinky, sometimes loveable dog?
Normally the dog has a nice tan colored underbelly. This afternoon after I had let him out, he came back in the house and his underbelly was completely black. His legs were black. His face was black. Even his tongue was black. In short, he was an absolutely disgusting, filthy mess.
Then the dog had the nerve to track up my nice clean kitchen floor. He shook himself and the mud landed on the walls. Did I mention how much he stunk? Wet dirty dogs do not smell good!
I got out the mop and started mopping. I washed the walls. I cleaned everything except the dog. I don't think I'm ever going to let him out of his crate again. Oh, wait a minute. That would mean even more messes if he doesn't go outside for a potty break. Ugh. Does anybody out there want a dirty, stinky, sometimes loveable dog?
