Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 72
October 15, 2013
Hot Rod Driver
I took my nine-year-old son to a pizza place for lunch today. Inside was an arcade.
"Mama, can I play the video games?" he asked.
"Sure," I said.
He found a race car game. "I want to play this one!"
I gave him some tokens and let him go to town. For the first run, he picked the Sonoma Valley option. You should've seen him speed through those farm lands! He banged into fences, plowed over a few cows, and knocked cars off the road.
"Bubba," I said when the ride was over. "Only you could tear up cow country like that!"
He grinned. "Can I play again?"
I nodded and gave him a few more tokens. This time he chose the big city option. Same thing. He plowed into guard rails, construction vehicles, and buildings. Then he decided to drive in a mall. He killed a few screaming people in that place. When he was done, he laughed. "That was great!"
I just shook my head and led him out the door.
When we got to the car, he asked, "Mama, can I drive your car home?"
Right. Not in a million years!
"Mama, can I play the video games?" he asked.
"Sure," I said.
He found a race car game. "I want to play this one!"
I gave him some tokens and let him go to town. For the first run, he picked the Sonoma Valley option. You should've seen him speed through those farm lands! He banged into fences, plowed over a few cows, and knocked cars off the road.
"Bubba," I said when the ride was over. "Only you could tear up cow country like that!"
He grinned. "Can I play again?"
I nodded and gave him a few more tokens. This time he chose the big city option. Same thing. He plowed into guard rails, construction vehicles, and buildings. Then he decided to drive in a mall. He killed a few screaming people in that place. When he was done, he laughed. "That was great!"
I just shook my head and led him out the door.
When we got to the car, he asked, "Mama, can I drive your car home?"
Right. Not in a million years!
October 13, 2013
Frog Man
"Mama," my nine-year-old son said. "Did you know we're closely related to amphibians?"
I looked at that boy funny. "What do you mean, Bubba? Amphibians are cold-blooded animals, and humans are warm-blooded."
"Humans and frogs can both hang out in water and on land."
"But what about the warm-blooded, cold-blooded thing?" I asked.
He thought about that a second. "Well, frogs are cold-blooded and they croak. When humans become cold-blooded, they croak."
Brilliant!
I looked at that boy funny. "What do you mean, Bubba? Amphibians are cold-blooded animals, and humans are warm-blooded."
"Humans and frogs can both hang out in water and on land."
"But what about the warm-blooded, cold-blooded thing?" I asked.
He thought about that a second. "Well, frogs are cold-blooded and they croak. When humans become cold-blooded, they croak."
Brilliant!
October 11, 2013
Dizzy Dog
My husband thought it would be a good idea to make our hundred pound German Shepherd spin in circles. I kid you not. Here's what happened:
At ten o'clock at night he took the dog out to play. And guess what he had with him? A flashlight. He shined that thing on the ground and let the dog chase it. Schultz was thrilled! Back and forth across the yard Schultz ran.
Then my husband got creative. He shined the light so that Schultz would have to spin around in circles to chase it. I've never seen a dog spin so fast!
Eventually Schultz got so dizzy, he could barely stand up.
"What's the matter, Schultz?" my husband asked.
I looked at that guy. "What do you think is matter?"
He shrugged and reversed the spin. The dumb dog went in circles again. He was so dizzy he looked like he was going to vomit.
"Enough!" I said. "Give the dog a break!"
Boys!
At ten o'clock at night he took the dog out to play. And guess what he had with him? A flashlight. He shined that thing on the ground and let the dog chase it. Schultz was thrilled! Back and forth across the yard Schultz ran.
Then my husband got creative. He shined the light so that Schultz would have to spin around in circles to chase it. I've never seen a dog spin so fast!
Eventually Schultz got so dizzy, he could barely stand up.
"What's the matter, Schultz?" my husband asked.
I looked at that guy. "What do you think is matter?"
He shrugged and reversed the spin. The dumb dog went in circles again. He was so dizzy he looked like he was going to vomit.
"Enough!" I said. "Give the dog a break!"
Boys!
October 10, 2013
Another Dumb Mama Story
I can't believe how stupid I'm getting.
Yesterday, my son had an after-school activity. Surprisingly, I remembered. I kept track of the time, making sure I wouldn't be late to pick him up. (You know how it is when you get involved with things.) Before I left, I cooked some pork chops on the grill. I knew I wouldn't have time to do it when I got home, because I'd have to run out the door again to go to work. Noticing that it was getting dangerously close to time I had to leave, I enlisted the help of my husband to finish the grilling. Thankfully, he obliged.
I dashed to my car, certain that I'd be a few minutes late. And that would not be good, because the teacher specifically said that tardiness would not be tolerated. Parents who were tardy would be fined. (Can you believe it? Talk about pressure!)
I got to the school expecting to see a line of kids waiting to be picked up. There was no line. I looked at my watch. I was two minutes late. Panic set in. I knew I was going to be in trouble.
I walked over to the module where I knew the kids had class and knocked on the door. The teacher answered. I peered inside and saw all the kids sitting happily at their computers. What? "Um, hi," I said. "I'm here to pick up my son."
The teacher looked at me funny. "We just started," she said.
I looked at my watch again. Yep. I was an hour early.
All the kids in the class laughed. What can I say? I'm just a dumb mama!
Yesterday, my son had an after-school activity. Surprisingly, I remembered. I kept track of the time, making sure I wouldn't be late to pick him up. (You know how it is when you get involved with things.) Before I left, I cooked some pork chops on the grill. I knew I wouldn't have time to do it when I got home, because I'd have to run out the door again to go to work. Noticing that it was getting dangerously close to time I had to leave, I enlisted the help of my husband to finish the grilling. Thankfully, he obliged.
I dashed to my car, certain that I'd be a few minutes late. And that would not be good, because the teacher specifically said that tardiness would not be tolerated. Parents who were tardy would be fined. (Can you believe it? Talk about pressure!)
I got to the school expecting to see a line of kids waiting to be picked up. There was no line. I looked at my watch. I was two minutes late. Panic set in. I knew I was going to be in trouble.
I walked over to the module where I knew the kids had class and knocked on the door. The teacher answered. I peered inside and saw all the kids sitting happily at their computers. What? "Um, hi," I said. "I'm here to pick up my son."
The teacher looked at me funny. "We just started," she said.
I looked at my watch again. Yep. I was an hour early.
All the kids in the class laughed. What can I say? I'm just a dumb mama!
October 9, 2013
The Nature of the Universe
There was some deep thinking going on at my pad yesterday.
"Mama," my nine-year-old son said. "If the universe is flat, what would happen if you got to the end?"
"Well," I answered. "If the universe is flat, then you'd fall off into a giant void."
"That doesn't make sense. What if you lived on a planet that was right on the edge of the universe? You'd be worried about falling into the giant void all the time!" I thought that was pretty good reasoning coming from a kid his age.
"You're absolutely right, Bubba. It's like in the days of Christopher Columbus when everyone thought the world was flat. But it's not flat, is it?"
He shook his head. "Then how does the universe look?"
"I think it's a big bubble," I said. "You'll never get to the end. If you could, you'd probably just go around and around and around."
He wrinkled up his eyebrows. "But then what's outside the bubble?"
"Dark matter."
"Huh?"
"Yeah. I don't get it either. But if you study physics, you might figure it out. And if you do, enlighten me!"
So what do you think? Is the universe flat, or is it round? And if it's flat, what happens if you get to the end? And if it's round, what's outside of it?
"Mama," my nine-year-old son said. "If the universe is flat, what would happen if you got to the end?"
"Well," I answered. "If the universe is flat, then you'd fall off into a giant void."
"That doesn't make sense. What if you lived on a planet that was right on the edge of the universe? You'd be worried about falling into the giant void all the time!" I thought that was pretty good reasoning coming from a kid his age.
"You're absolutely right, Bubba. It's like in the days of Christopher Columbus when everyone thought the world was flat. But it's not flat, is it?"
He shook his head. "Then how does the universe look?"
"I think it's a big bubble," I said. "You'll never get to the end. If you could, you'd probably just go around and around and around."
He wrinkled up his eyebrows. "But then what's outside the bubble?"
"Dark matter."
"Huh?"
"Yeah. I don't get it either. But if you study physics, you might figure it out. And if you do, enlighten me!"
So what do you think? Is the universe flat, or is it round? And if it's flat, what happens if you get to the end? And if it's round, what's outside of it?
October 7, 2013
Wedding Plans
Sorry I've been a little remiss about posting. This past weekend was my daughter's birthday, so we had family come visit. I've also been ridiculously busy with other things. So, I'll do my best to post every day, but don't be surprised if I don't show up on occasion.
My daughter is now the ripe old age of twelve. I'm not sure if she's thinking about boys yet. But she's certainly thinking about weddings. She likes to watch the TV shows about brides picking out their dream dresses. Mermaid dresses are her style of choice.
So when we went to Lake Lanier islands this weekend, she immediately felt it would be the perfect place for a wedding. "Mom, I think I'll get married here. The view is so beautiful!"
I looked at that girl. "Married? You're looking at water and sailboats and thinking about weddings?"
She grinned. "Yeah."
"Girlfriend. You're going to be thinking a long time. Because you're not allowed to get married for at least another thirty years!"
My husband overheard the conversation. "No. Seventy years!"
Oy!
My daughter is now the ripe old age of twelve. I'm not sure if she's thinking about boys yet. But she's certainly thinking about weddings. She likes to watch the TV shows about brides picking out their dream dresses. Mermaid dresses are her style of choice.
So when we went to Lake Lanier islands this weekend, she immediately felt it would be the perfect place for a wedding. "Mom, I think I'll get married here. The view is so beautiful!"
I looked at that girl. "Married? You're looking at water and sailboats and thinking about weddings?"
She grinned. "Yeah."
"Girlfriend. You're going to be thinking a long time. Because you're not allowed to get married for at least another thirty years!"
My husband overheard the conversation. "No. Seventy years!"
Oy!
October 4, 2013
The Vanished Knight Book Release and the Spritz Drink
Misha Gerrick has a new book out, and I'm helping to spread the word. It's called The Vanished Knight. Here's the blurb:
The Black Knight, Nordaine’s crown prince, has no legitimate blood heirs, meaning someone must be appointed to succeed him. With two of the candidates’ families willing to kill for the appointment and the third candidate being seen as a threat to all, peace is balanced on a sword’s edge.But then the Black Knight vanishes.Darrion and Gawain, two of his possible heirs, set out to find him, but after they rescue an earth-girl from Merithian soldiers, they discover she has possible ties to Nordaine. Not only that, but Callan Blair could be an Elvish princess. And war looms on the horizon…
You can find The Vanished Knight on Amazon.
Congratulations, Misha!
Now for the Spritz Drink:
I walked into my daughter's room to help her with her homework last night. What did I find her doing? Spraying water into her mouth with a spray bottle.
"Excuse me," I said. "Why are you sucking on a spray bottle?"
"Because I'm thirsty," she replied.
I looked on her night stand. There was an empty glass sitting there. "Why don't you act like a civilized human being and get yourself a glass of water?"
She picked up the glass and looked at it. Then she sprayed water from her bottle into it and took a sip.
I shook my head. "Girlfriend, why don't you just go to the kitchen, and fill it up with water from the refrigerator or tap?"
"It tastes better when it's spritzed."
Right. It couldn't be that she's just being a lazy teenager who doesn't want to walk twenty feet to get herself a glass of water! Could it?
October 3, 2013
What Does the Fox Say?
"Mama?" my nine-year-old son asked. "What does the fox say?"
Huh? "Bubba, I think foxes bark."
"No, Mama. They go A-oo-oo-oo-ooo!"
I looked at the kid funny. "Where did you get that notion?"
"From You Tube."
Why didn't that surprise me?
My daughter overheard the conversation. "Yeah mom, and they sing and do hip hop, too!"
Wow. I had no idea foxes were so talented!
So now my kids are driving me crazy singing the "What does the fox say" song. Here it is:
October 2, 2013
Moonless Cover Reveal
Crystal Collier has a new book that's going to be released on November 13th. I'm helping to spread the word. Isn't that the coolest cover?
Here's the scoop on it:
It's the first book in a series called Maiden of Time, and it's a YA Historical Paranormal Romance.
Log line: Alexia must choose safety and an arranged marriage, or true love and being hunted by the Soulless every moonless night.
Short Description: Alexia's nightmares become reality: a dead baron, red-eyed wraiths, and forbidden love with a man hunted by these creatures. After an attack close to home, Alexia realizes she cannot keep one foot in her old life and one in this new world. To protect her family she must either be sold into a loveless marriage, or escape with her beloved and risk becoming one of the Soulless.
MOONLESS is Jane Eyre meets Supernatural.
Crystal Collier, author of MOONLESS, is a former composer/writer for Black Diamond Productions. She can be found practicing her brother-induced ninja skills while teaching children or madly typing about fantastic and impossible creatures. She has lived from coast to coast to coast and now calls Florida home with her creative husband, three littles, and "friend" (a.k.a. the zombie locked in her closet). Secretly, she dreams of world domination and a bottomless supply of cheese. You can find her on her blog, and Facebook, or follow her on Twitter.
October 1, 2013
The Proposal
My husband came home today with a lovely bouquet of flowers for me. I put them in a vase and set them on the table.
When my son saw them, he sat down in front of them and admired them. Then he pulled one of the flowers out.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Making a proposal," he said, handing the flower to me. "Will you marry me?"
I shook my head and laughed. "Sorry, Bubba. Daddy beat you to it!"
When my son saw them, he sat down in front of them and admired them. Then he pulled one of the flowers out.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Making a proposal," he said, handing the flower to me. "Will you marry me?"
I shook my head and laughed. "Sorry, Bubba. Daddy beat you to it!"
