Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 112

Surprise Party

"Mama," my daughter said. "Do you know my friend who is moving? We're going to have a surprise party for her." "That's nice," I replied. "When are you having it?" "Monday." "Where's is going to be?" She got quiet. "Well, my other friend was going to have it at her house, but the friend who's moving found out about it, so now we're having it here." "What?" I said. I wasn't exactly prepared for hosting a party. "Yeah. Here's a list of things we will need." She handed me a piece of paper with everthing she wanted, including chocolate for a chocolate fountain. "Um, okay," I said. "What time is this party going to be?" "I don't know," she said. "You'll just have to be ready." Great. (Why do I have a feeling this surprise party was more of a surprise to me than to anyone else?) Wish me luck on this. I'm going to need it! (Oh yeah, and she said every girl in her class was coming. That's about 15 girls. Oy!)

Spider in My Hair

Wasn't I just commenting on how I needed a haircut? Well, apparently a little critter decided to take up residence in my long tresses. I was cleaning the bathroom sink, when I happened to glance down at some strands of hair that were hanging over my shoulder. I had to take a second look, because what I saw was small and brown, and it had legs. Then it started scurrying up a piece of hair, like it was a web, or something. It was an itsy bitsy spider, the same color as my hair! "Aghhh!" I yelled. I quickly brushed that thing out of my hair and into the sink. Then I turned on the water, and flushed it down the drain (please don't call the animal protective agency to report me. It was self defense - I swear!) I'm thinking that little guy must've hitched a ride when I was outside weeding. My hair must've looked like the perfect camoflauge. So tomorrow, I'm getting a haircut. Hopefully there are no spider brothers and sisters hiding out in my hair . I don't need any more pets!

Guest Blogging Today

Hey everybody, I'm over at Dawn's blog, Since You Asked, sharing a story about another one of my Mama mess-ups. Come on over and read all about it!

Home Away from Home

My son was a little upset with me today, because I refused to get a red-eared slider turtle for him. "I'm never going to forgive you for missing my poetry reading!" he announced. (Yes, he still is throwing that in my face.) "I'm going to go to my other home, since you're not being very nice." "Okay," I said. "Just be sure to come back in time for dinner." "Hmph," he said. And off he went. I figured he needed to blow off a little steam, so I let him go. About fifteen minutes later, I went out to check on him. I knew just where his other home was. I followed the path in the woods. It went over the creek and through a "jungle" with vines. Finally I arrived at the spot: an abandoned playset in the woods. "Hi, Mom," he said. "I like your home," I said. "So, is this where you live?" "Yeah, except it doesn't have a refrigerator." "Hmmm," I said. "That could be a problem if you get hungry." Then I looked at the sky. Dark clouds were gathering. "What are you going to do when the storm comes?" "Hmmm," he said. "That could be a problem." He was quiet a moment. "I think I'm done at this home. I'll go to my other home now." "Okay," I said. So over the river, and through the woods we went, hand in hand - back home."

One Lovely Blog Award

I am just so amazed by how many awards are floating around out there. Another one landed at my pad. It's the One Lovely Blog Award. Thanks, Jenni Steel for giving me this lovely award! Be sure to visit her blog. According to the rules, I'm supposed to list seven random facts about myself. This might be a little challenging, since you already know a lot about me. But, I'll try anyway. Here we go: 1. I'm a freeze baby. Yep. I hate the cold. And I'm one of those nutcases who can still be quite comfortable wearing jeans and a long sleeved shirt when it's eighty degrees outside. 2. Supposedly, I have an IQ of 141 (measured when I was ten). Does that make me smart, or stupid, or doesn't it matter? (I reckon I've probably lost a few points anyway, since I'm getting so old!) 3. I slept only 0-4 hours per night for 4 years when my kids were babies. Believe me, I wasn't too thrilled about it. The good news, is that it inspired me to write my first book, That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN! So began my career as an author. 4. My second book, That Mama is a Grouch, was inspired after I broke a toe, tripping on my kid's toys. 5. I haven't had a haircut in about 8 months, which means my hair is considerably longer than in my picture. Hmmm. I better do something about that, or I'll be looking like a mountain woman soon. 6. I'm very near-sighted. My prescription is -7.5 in both eyes. (Aren't you glad I told you that?) 7. My favorite popsicle flavor is grape. Were those random enough? Now I have to pass this award on to seven more lovely bloggers. Be sure to stop by and visit them. 1. Zantippy Skiphop 2. Elysabeth42 3. J. L. Campbell 4. Liz Fichera 5. Elizabeth Twist 6. jdracecar 7. Laura Josephsen Again, I'm sorry about the run-on paragraph. Maybe someday Blogger will fix the problem!

Smashing Chairs

The dog was at it again. First thing this morning, he busted a chair. How did he do that? Well, let me tell you. I took the hairy ginormous German Shepherd outside to go potty. I had him on a leash. As he walked across our patio, his leash somehow got tangled around the arm of one of our wrought-iron patio chairs. The chair scraped across the cement patio, making a horrendous sound. This spooked the dog. He took off like a bat out of hell, dragging the chair behind him. It didn't go so well for the chair, because in the process, one of its legs snapped off. Can you believe it? This patio set, which was only about a month old, and cost over $1000.00, snapped because that stupid dog freaked. "Schultz, stop!" I commanded. He stopped. "Look what you just did," I said holding up the broken leg. Schultz knew he was in trouble. He lowered his head. "Get in the house, dog." I swear, that dog is more trouble than he's worth! (Just so you know, I was easy on the dog. I know it was just an accident, so he didn't get punished. This time.)

Bad Mama

Today was my son's poetry reading session in his first grade classroom. Parents were invited to come and listen. And of course you know who forgot. I could blame it on my husband, because he asked me to come out to lunch with him at that time. But the truth is, I would've totally forgotten about it anyway. I'm just trying to juggle too many things at once. So the young man came home very upset. "Mama," he said. "You forgot about my poetry thing." After that little bit of news hit me, I apologized profusely. "I'm sorry! I totally forgot. How did it go?" "It was fine, but now you owe me something special." Uh oh. I couldn't wait to hear what that something special would be. "You either owe me a pet red-eared slider turtle, or a Nintendo DSL." Geez! "How about something else? Those are a little out of my acceptable range." "Nope. A red-eared slider or Nintendo DSL. Otherwise I'm never going to forgive you." I guess I'm doomed.

Blocked Toilet

Didn't I just get a new five-star toilet for Mother's Day? Wasn't it supposed to end my daily plungings? Well, it didn't work! "Mama," my son called from the upstairs bathroom. "I blocked the toilet!" "Seriously?" I asked. That just couldn't be. I went upstairs to have a look. Yep. It was blocked. I sighed and went to get the shovel. The bad news about that toilet is that it's deeper than the previous one, which makes it harder not to get wet when you're digging (I know, such a pretty picture!). The good news, is that it plunges much easier. I told my husband that the five-star toilet was overrated. It couldn't handle my son's six-star dumps. He just laughed and said, "Happy Mother's Day!" Ha Ha. Next time he's doing the digging!

Snacking on Stakes

Yes, I did spell that right. It's stakes. Not steaks. Who do you think might be snacking on stakes? Yep. You guessed it. My big old German Shepherd, Schultz. Today I planted my tomatoes and put in the stakes. The thought went through my head that my dumb dog would probably destroy those things, but I hoped I was wrong. Perhaps the fence around the garden would deter the hairy beast. No such luck. I let the dog out when I was done, and went about my business. Later, when I went out to pick up my kids from school, I noticed that something wasn't quite right. One of the tomato stakes was lopsided and in pieces. I walked over to take a closer look. Sure enough, that stupid dog had reached over the fence and grabbed a stake with his big teeth. That thing was bent and broken and riddled with teeth marks. I went in the house with the busted stake. "Schultz!" I bellowed. He cocked his head and looked at me. "Listen, dufus. This is a stake. Not a steak. No eating stakes!" He cocked his head the other way. He didn't get it. Apparently he needs to go to school to learn about homonyms.

Muddy Mama

It was only a matter of time before I got involved with the mud scene around my house. Today was the day. "Mama," my son said. "Can you help me move the tadpole tank to a different place in the woods?" "Why?" I asked. "I'd just like it closer to our fence so I don't have to cross the creek." I agreed to move the tank. But I knew it was going to be a ridiculous job when I got a look at the muddy mess that was in the woods. At first I thought I could just lift the tank, water and all, and relocate it. But I guess even this wonder woman can't lift a full ten gallon glass tank. So I emptied half of the water. My son put the tadpoles and the frog into a five gallon bucket. I lifted that muddy tank and attempted to cross the creek. Big mistake. That thing was still pretty heavy, and as I tried to cross, my feet sank into the mud. When I tripped on a rock in the creek, it was all over. That tank hit the ground and splintered. Water gushed out. I was covered in mud. My tennis shoes were soaked. And I was supposed to teach violin lessons in ten minutes. I hauled myself and the tank out of the creek. I dumped out the rest of the water and hauled the busted tank to the garbage bin. Just then my student arrived. She looked at me kind of funny. "One minute," I said. "Let me go change!" I looked in the mirror and laughed. I looked like a real swamp thing. I'm surprised my student stuck around for lessons!