Z. Allora's Blog, page 30
November 19, 2015
Gender Queer
(From Dictionary.com)It's a hard definition to pin down because personal experience, expression... repression affects how each person relates to this word.
Gender queer is a spectrum like every other identity and orientation.
Let's play show & tell...
Big hugs,
Z. Allora
November 12, 2015
Ode To The BIG MISUNDERSTANDING
Oh, I’m aware how some readers HATE the big misunderstanding.(SHRUGGING) I don’t know about you but throughout my life goofy things have happened or I thought one thing was the cause but actually it was another.
Many wrong interpretations of words and actions impact life.
Granted the “too stupid to live ones” annoy EVERYONE. Juliet offing herself before checking to see if the jackass Romeo was really dead. (Come on Billy S. come on enough with the morality tale)
Drastic measures=major overreactions (My boyfriend didn’t respond to a text therefore I moved across country changing my name and we lost contact for forty years...) Seems intense and maybe something more was at play then the text...
I try to judge romance novel misunderstandings through the eyes of the characters: Their Age, Their Filters, Their Location Or A Combination of Factors are determine how realistic the BIG misunderstanding troupe is...
Age of the characters: needs to be taken into account. Looking at my own actions/beliefs from when I was younger 18 or 20… I think WOW, no way in FUCK would I have said or done that. How could I have thought that? Why did I see this person’s action as so much stronger than it was? Why did I react that way?
Illusions & Dreams: At 23 my beautiful Boon-nam launches head over heels in love with a bad boy while her bestie Lalana 28 dig in her heels and fights her feelings for Randy because her experience tells her she’ll be hurt by the man she has feelings for... The younger inexperienced 23 year old whose never had her heart crushed is open to love where Lalana’s age and experience gives her more caution.
Filters: Everything we see, hear, and experience is put through our personal filters. Our filters have developed over our life time: childhood, where have you lived, education, acceptance and expression of our sexuality & gender identity, family interactions, jobs, experiences, travel, love/sexual relationships, interactions with others, etc. So many things build our network of how we process information.
>>>This is why it can be difficult to really understand someone else’s actions or words. We don’t have their filters and are forced to process their actions by our own filters. The actions may or may not make sense with our filters.
Finally Fallen: Dusty Davis has two younger brothers who he’s had a big part in raising. He was forced to remain calm when crazy happened and he cast used to the role of fixer/caretaker his entire life. So when Justin Cohen’s hot mess of a past comes up… Dusty bounces it and finds workable solutions. When Dusty’s mom goes off on him he remains calm. He rolls with whatever life throws at him because his filters developed into less reacting and more finding a solution where Justin’s original filters told him to head for the hills and avoid problems instead of finding a solution.
Location: Where the characters are from shapes their choices and as well as options available. Club Zombie: Zombies Ahead German ex-pat Kai doesn’t have at the option of exploring his sexuality. If he wants to live with his homophobic uncle (& protect his cousin) he doesn’t analyze his feelings that closely because he doesn’t feel there’s any options open to him. When he moves to Club Zombie he’s able to take a look at himself and figure out who he is in relation to other people and the open world around him. It still takes him a little time to figure things out.
Combination of Factors: Sometimes there’s so many things happening at once and processing what they mean to our world freezes us and puts us into denial.
With Wings: Darius Stone never thought of himself as anything but straight so being raised by a homophobic father the result of being bi-sexual have far reaching consequences… one’s that he’d rather avoid. When he finally does accept that fact he’s insecure. (Mind you being in love with the rock god Angel Luv doesn’t make it easier on him.) Dare and Angel are the only couples I’ve published that have a happy for now ending… don’t worry you know they will have their happily ever after. They showed me how it finally works out… but because their big misunderstanding(s) happened through so many layers and was so BIG… they need more time to work things out between them.
I think BIG misunderstandings happen in real life. I know they’ve happened to me… so yes they will from time to time find their way into one of my plot lines… not because it’s “easy” but because it happens.
Hugs, Z.
Many wrong interpretations of words and actions impact life.
Granted the “too stupid to live ones” annoy EVERYONE. Juliet offing herself before checking to see if the jackass Romeo was really dead. (Come on Billy S. come on enough with the morality tale)
Drastic measures=major overreactions (My boyfriend didn’t respond to a text therefore I moved across country changing my name and we lost contact for forty years...) Seems intense and maybe something more was at play then the text...
I try to judge romance novel misunderstandings through the eyes of the characters: Their Age, Their Filters, Their Location Or A Combination of Factors are determine how realistic the BIG misunderstanding troupe is...
Age of the characters: needs to be taken into account. Looking at my own actions/beliefs from when I was younger 18 or 20… I think WOW, no way in FUCK would I have said or done that. How could I have thought that? Why did I see this person’s action as so much stronger than it was? Why did I react that way?
Illusions & Dreams: At 23 my beautiful Boon-nam launches head over heels in love with a bad boy while her bestie Lalana 28 dig in her heels and fights her feelings for Randy because her experience tells her she’ll be hurt by the man she has feelings for... The younger inexperienced 23 year old whose never had her heart crushed is open to love where Lalana’s age and experience gives her more caution.
Filters: Everything we see, hear, and experience is put through our personal filters. Our filters have developed over our life time: childhood, where have you lived, education, acceptance and expression of our sexuality & gender identity, family interactions, jobs, experiences, travel, love/sexual relationships, interactions with others, etc. So many things build our network of how we process information.
>>>This is why it can be difficult to really understand someone else’s actions or words. We don’t have their filters and are forced to process their actions by our own filters. The actions may or may not make sense with our filters.
Finally Fallen: Dusty Davis has two younger brothers who he’s had a big part in raising. He was forced to remain calm when crazy happened and he cast used to the role of fixer/caretaker his entire life. So when Justin Cohen’s hot mess of a past comes up… Dusty bounces it and finds workable solutions. When Dusty’s mom goes off on him he remains calm. He rolls with whatever life throws at him because his filters developed into less reacting and more finding a solution where Justin’s original filters told him to head for the hills and avoid problems instead of finding a solution.
Location: Where the characters are from shapes their choices and as well as options available. Club Zombie: Zombies Ahead German ex-pat Kai doesn’t have at the option of exploring his sexuality. If he wants to live with his homophobic uncle (& protect his cousin) he doesn’t analyze his feelings that closely because he doesn’t feel there’s any options open to him. When he moves to Club Zombie he’s able to take a look at himself and figure out who he is in relation to other people and the open world around him. It still takes him a little time to figure things out.
Combination of Factors: Sometimes there’s so many things happening at once and processing what they mean to our world freezes us and puts us into denial.
With Wings: Darius Stone never thought of himself as anything but straight so being raised by a homophobic father the result of being bi-sexual have far reaching consequences… one’s that he’d rather avoid. When he finally does accept that fact he’s insecure. (Mind you being in love with the rock god Angel Luv doesn’t make it easier on him.) Dare and Angel are the only couples I’ve published that have a happy for now ending… don’t worry you know they will have their happily ever after. They showed me how it finally works out… but because their big misunderstanding(s) happened through so many layers and was so BIG… they need more time to work things out between them.
I think BIG misunderstandings happen in real life. I know they’ve happened to me… so yes they will from time to time find their way into one of my plot lines… not because it’s “easy” but because it happens.
Hugs, Z.
November 5, 2015
Reviews Matter
Most writers I’ve talked to and posts I've read about reviews suggest a mix of feelings about reviews. Reviews are an odd dynamic. I mean we give blood, swear and tears to our work... then hand people a knife and wait. No it's not that dramatic but people are affected deeply by the words we share.
Everyone believes people have the right to an opinion and the right to express that opinion. Writers maybe better than most understand the time it takes time to stop and write a review so most of us truly appreciate the effort.
Some writers read reviews and some don't. Some study and utilize the feedback so they can apply it to their writing and their critique partner’s work. Some engage and well, we’ve seen how that plays out. Mostly we try not to talk about reviews... but they matter.
But back in 2011 I was alone. I published my first novel while living in a complete vacuum aka China. I had no critique/beta partners, no Facebook, no GoodReads, didn’t even know other review sites existed, didn’t use English much in my day to day existence, got my news from the Daily Show with Jon Stewart and I had limited access to anyone in the M/M romance community. I was in my own little bubble… I didn’t even know an entire tribe existed. (Yes, it was a dark time).
I had NO clue how readers would receive With Wings. On my next visit to the USA at 230am I braved GoodReads (which is banned in China). I’ll admit I was terrified. I got a decent number of four and five star reviews but almost every new writer knows those aren’t the ones you carry with you…
My self injurious nature allowed my confidence to be shredded: “A too faithful copy of a Jet Mykles story without any of her charm and way too sappy.”“The writing style just didn’t gel for me…”“Not a bad effort, but the author has a way to go to achieve the charm and quality of the "Heaven Sent" series.” ((Which was a four star review))“Not working for me, so stopped reading.”Someone else shelved it as junk.
My low self-esteem triedto wipe out the five and four stars: “A beautifully written book Z.Allora has made a fan of me, and I want more.”“Pure, sexy, rock star yuminess!” “This was such a GREAT book!”
Well, case closed. The reviews were clear to me: I should NEVER EVER share my writing again. I wouldn't stop writing because no one could make me do that but I'd stop publishing. That was the answer. This would appease the writing police so they wouldn't come crashing through my door and scoop up my laptop to save the world from my drivel.
In my devastated and jetlagged state I don’t remember how but I found Elisa Rolle’s review of With Wings, which gave me perspective (& hope).
“A pure yaoi novel, like it was long I haven't read; it’s like the author wanted to claim, I love Yaoi, and so what? She never once tried to make it pass for something else, and she pushed all the by the book buttons: young, cute and pretty characters, long hair, big eyes, pop start, I’m straight/I’m not gay, Gay for You, Gay Virgin, and if you toss some other rule, it’s probably here. So no, this is not a novel for whom doesn’t like this type of story, otherwise they will start to find the “flaws”: yaoi is yaoi, and we all know it’s to entertain and not for realism.” http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/1733227.html ((At the GRL 2015 I was finally able to verbalize to Elisa how much her words meant and how she kept me from hiding under a rock))
Her review helped me gathered up all my ratings and make sense of my world.
The one and two star reviews made complete sense now. While all opinions are absolutely validate, Elisa’s review helped me realize that some of these reviewers may not be my target audience. The same way I’m not the reader for a bittersweet romance, these folks do not like the over the top nature of my yaoisque writing style. And that's okay.
Whew! I don’t have to stop sharing (aka publishing) my writing!!! But I needed to make sure the readers understand what they are getting when they pick up a Z. Allora book. This has to do with "branding".
I started thinking about how to clue in readers so I could help readers make the right decisions. I don’t want to disappoint them with my yaoified smexy world view. My covers are distinctive and thus far drawn with a clear yaoi style. I try to ensure my blurbs are clear. My e-mail Z.AlloraHappyEndings@gmail.com suggests HAPPILY EVER AFTER as well as SEX. When in conversation I’m the first one to say if you read my rockers or sexy zombies as a contemporary you are going to think I’m a loon!
Now some of the negative comments about my writing style, editing or issues were dead on and I spent 2014 re-writing my entire first and second series. The feedback encouraged me get a beta/critique partner team together to help untangle my Z. speak because I didn’t get it all on the page the first time. The reviews helped me strive to become a better writer.
Reviews are critical. They can help guide people to or away from your books. And if you see over the top, insta-love, and lots of sex as a negative please follow your instincts and don’t buy my book.
Not every book is for everybody and that’s okay.
While reviews still scare me but I’ve tried over the past four years to develop perspective. Much like more established writers, I designed a kind of a filter to help me utilize the information.
Reviewers know your words can impact the writer, other writers, readers, publishers... Words matter continue to use them with care.
Much love and appreciation to the reviewers and review sites who help guide the readers toward and away from our books. Hugs, Z.
October 29, 2015
ORGASMS...
It distresses me when a man/woman says he has NO idea if his partner came...
ONE: I'm wondering why s/he didn't ask?
TWO: I'm wondering why the female didn't say?
>>> Clear communication as well as setting an EXPECTATION EVERYONE gets to the destination might be key in evening up the orgasm gap.
No rolling your eyes...
It's very simple: If women have an orgasm every time she had sex... She'd want more sex...
But we live in a society where there are tons of articles of How-To-Fake-An-Orgasm...
WHY?
Reasons vary:
1) Didn't want to hurt his/her feelings (cause lying to him/her wouldn't do that)
2) You were tired (you could simply say that... and if you make it a habit to fuck when you're not into it... guess what sex becomes a favor...)
3) You couldn't (it happens... but is there anything your partner can do or do you need some alone time)
4) Never had an orgasm (not surprising in a world that discourages and demonizes female sexuality... many have been disconnected from their sexuality)
5) S/He was too quick (that's fine now it's your turn)
Faking your orgasm denies your partner the right & ability to satisfy you. (S/he is learning techniques that don't get you to your climax).
Am I advocating for an orgasm economy? Not really but I believe people do things they are reinforced to do... orgasm is the ultimate reward... You DESERVE it.
This video gives a simple suggestion: MASTURBATE!
30% of women have trouble orgasming
80% have trouble orgasming through intercourse alone (>>> That means fingers or vibrators should be active)
Most women need at least 20 minutes of stimulation to reach climax (sometimes LONGER)
>>>>I've heard these basic figures before here's a source (http://www.womansday.com/relationship...
Suggestions:Communicate with your parnter(s)
Accept what turns you on... toss out society's rules of what's appropriate
Work on your self esteem (Love yourself... and yes I mean literally)
If there's a medical condition or medication impeding your pleasure talk to your doctor
Set an EXPECTATION of ORGASM (by hook or by vibrator CUM)
Here's something interesting: Energy Orgasm
People can think/read/mediate themselves into a "no hands" orgasm.
Hugs, Z.
ONE: I'm wondering why s/he didn't ask?
TWO: I'm wondering why the female didn't say?
>>> Clear communication as well as setting an EXPECTATION EVERYONE gets to the destination might be key in evening up the orgasm gap.
No rolling your eyes...
It's very simple: If women have an orgasm every time she had sex... She'd want more sex...
But we live in a society where there are tons of articles of How-To-Fake-An-Orgasm...
WHY?
Reasons vary:
1) Didn't want to hurt his/her feelings (cause lying to him/her wouldn't do that)
2) You were tired (you could simply say that... and if you make it a habit to fuck when you're not into it... guess what sex becomes a favor...)
3) You couldn't (it happens... but is there anything your partner can do or do you need some alone time)
4) Never had an orgasm (not surprising in a world that discourages and demonizes female sexuality... many have been disconnected from their sexuality)
5) S/He was too quick (that's fine now it's your turn)
Faking your orgasm denies your partner the right & ability to satisfy you. (S/he is learning techniques that don't get you to your climax).
Am I advocating for an orgasm economy? Not really but I believe people do things they are reinforced to do... orgasm is the ultimate reward... You DESERVE it.
This video gives a simple suggestion: MASTURBATE!
30% of women have trouble orgasming
80% have trouble orgasming through intercourse alone (>>> That means fingers or vibrators should be active)
Most women need at least 20 minutes of stimulation to reach climax (sometimes LONGER)
>>>>I've heard these basic figures before here's a source (http://www.womansday.com/relationship...
Suggestions:Communicate with your parnter(s)
Accept what turns you on... toss out society's rules of what's appropriate
Work on your self esteem (Love yourself... and yes I mean literally)
If there's a medical condition or medication impeding your pleasure talk to your doctor
Set an EXPECTATION of ORGASM (by hook or by vibrator CUM)
Here's something interesting: Energy Orgasm
People can think/read/mediate themselves into a "no hands" orgasm.
Hugs, Z.
October 22, 2015
Surviving Devastion
Twenty years ago Oct 22nd, I lost half of my world. My mom died after a quick diagnosis ten days prior. The devastation spun my life out of control and forced me to look for an out. (So Pretty ones when I say I understand the depths of pain life can give you… I truly do).
I’m not going to focus on my misery or the intense desire I had to exit. I will say I’m grateful to be here now… (thrilled more than you know to have my Pretty ones!) At the time, I couldn’t live for myself so I lived for others until I found reasons to strive for me.
So why am I writing this? I guess I want to save the events that occurred during that time because I don’t want time to dull them. I want to put down some curious things, which allows me to take comfort that this isn’t the end of our stories. I really believe once we leave this existence we continue elsewhere and here’s the crazy that allows me the belief.
*Moments prior to having my world smashed to bits:My mother always hated the idea of flowers at the cemetery. She made my sister and I promise to just buy yellow flowers for ourselves and put them on our tables. My love and I were in a hotel and someone set out their room service tray. They hadn’t appreciated the small vase of flowers so I nabbed for more room… carnations they wouldn’t make me sneeze. My husband returned the call from his family to learn of my mother’s death as I was putting the yellow flowers on the table.
*Day of funeral: My mother would have wanted her floor mopped (people would be coming over)… My father yelled at me when I tried. His watch stopped working. I was insisting on cleaning the house and my husband suggested I didn’t need to do that… his watch stopped working too. Another five minutes passed and the washing machine that wasn’t running began to spew water out of the hoses and all over the floor… I got the mop with a smile and mopped the floor like my mommy would have wanted me to…
* First year exceptionally hardMy loss was encouraging suicidal ideations which I fought but at times the appeal was almost overwhelming. I wanted so badly to just make the pain stop… during these times a ladybug would appear. (My mother and I used to love ladybugs… it was our thing) I found 54 throughout that first year (including in my freezer!) Occasionally my love or my best from college would get one and tell me about the odd places they would show up.
I continued to go through the motions of life. One day on the drive between my offices, I was sobbing (as I did whenever I was alone). I was losing it in a grand fashion. I demanded “Send me a fucking ladybug if you love me!” I stopped at a red light. Something was in the crosswalk in front of my car… it was a beanie baby. I got out of the car and picked up the ladybug stuffed animal. I screamed, “That’s not enough but thank you!”
I thought I was losing my mind… I went for help.
*TherapistI poured out my guts to a sympathetic therapist. On the third week I talked about my adventures with ladybugs. I could see the sad look in her eyes because I was clearly diluting myself. I was self-soothing by connecting ladybug appearances to my mother letting me know everything was alright.The therapist wrote down my ramble down. Tap.She brushed her yellow pad.Tap. I asked, “What?” She brushed off her pad again. “Just a bug.”Tap.We looked up and her light was filled with ladybugs milling around. There was a line of them marching from the window to the light.She ended the session early.
I should write more and tell you how amazing my mom was but I can’t see the computer screen. She accepted me (even though she didn't quite understand me), encouraged me to reach for my dreams and she loved me.
Time doesn’t heal all wounds it allows you to figure out how to deal with your loss.
I say it once again: If you can’t live for yourself live for someone else. In between devastating events that shatter your world please find happiness (or give happiness to others). Eventually your world will reform and you’ll find new purpose. I believe to do so honors the ones who've left before us.
Much love and many hugs to my Pretty ones,Z. Allora
(BTW Since I've started to write this I've had five ladybug encounters)
October 15, 2015
The GRL: Gay Romance Literature Retreat
Every October many writers & readers of gay romance gather. We have panel discussions, readings, book signing and parties. It's an amazing (& overwhelming) experience.
You see many of us don't fit in our worlds (though many do). Many of us were assigned female at birth and people don't understand why the fuck we write about gay romance. The questions are endless!
1) What could YOU possibly know about GAY sex?
Well, apart from one body part (which we usually have complete and total access to) and a gland... SEX IS SEX.... and since this is romance it's not all about the sex (or so I'm told repeatedly by my critique partners).
WARNING!!! SHOCKING INFORMATION: People with female parts CAN have anal sex & can love it. (BTW some of my Pretties assigned female at birth seem to adore anal sex more than some of my Pretties assigned male... I know it's subjective self sharing but there you have it). Writers of gay romance can round out personal experiences with a huge array of gay porn... not to mention many of us have friends who are happy to overshare their personal experiences.
2) How do you write about men when you're a straight woman?
Excuse me need to correct the basic premise: Assigned female at birth is not that same as gender identity. Many writers and readers of this genre consider themselves somewhere on the rainbow (gender queer/non-binary, bi, trans, asexual, etc.). How many writers will laughingly tell you they feel like gay men in a women's body... BTW that statement might not always be a joke...
Basic Information: One does not write with their genitals... Though one could physically do so with the insertion of a writing implement...but trust me if that was really a thing I'd have seen a sex show featuring it.
BTW males have been writing female characters for eons and no one ever wondered HOW that was possible. (Smells kind of like sexism at play).
Newsflash: Most of the murder mystery writers haven't committed the horrific crimes they depict... and I'm going out on a limb but Anne Rice isn't a vampire.
3) You're objectifying men.
Um... romance genre focuses on love, relationships and sex.
4) Why don't you write NORMAL romance?
Who defines NORMAL? LOVE IS LOVE. This is normal...
5) Men aren't like that?
Um... okay. The world is a BIG place and while someone who throws this at me at a criticism might not know men like some of our/my characters... they do exist. BTW people on the edges of any spectrum don't feel comfortable sharing with people who have a narrow attitude. We need to stop trying to paint people with the wide brush of HOW YOU SHOULD BE... I dislike when people refuse to acknowledge everyone DOES NOT fit into labeled boxes because it implies people on the fringes are somehow wrong.
The questions of WHY and HOW go on and on but at the GRL for this glorious span of days the question is WHEN? WHEN is the next book in your series coming out? WHEN will you write about this kind of character/plot? WHEN is such a better question than why or how...
The GRL is a gathering of tribe. Readers, writers, reviewers, publishers all together in one place to celebrate what the rest of the world doesn't quite understand... but we do.
If you are attending the GRL find me and give me a hug (if you're a hugger). I adore my tribe they know me best.
Hugs, Z.
You see many of us don't fit in our worlds (though many do). Many of us were assigned female at birth and people don't understand why the fuck we write about gay romance. The questions are endless!
1) What could YOU possibly know about GAY sex?
Well, apart from one body part (which we usually have complete and total access to) and a gland... SEX IS SEX.... and since this is romance it's not all about the sex (or so I'm told repeatedly by my critique partners).
WARNING!!! SHOCKING INFORMATION: People with female parts CAN have anal sex & can love it. (BTW some of my Pretties assigned female at birth seem to adore anal sex more than some of my Pretties assigned male... I know it's subjective self sharing but there you have it). Writers of gay romance can round out personal experiences with a huge array of gay porn... not to mention many of us have friends who are happy to overshare their personal experiences.
2) How do you write about men when you're a straight woman?
Excuse me need to correct the basic premise: Assigned female at birth is not that same as gender identity. Many writers and readers of this genre consider themselves somewhere on the rainbow (gender queer/non-binary, bi, trans, asexual, etc.). How many writers will laughingly tell you they feel like gay men in a women's body... BTW that statement might not always be a joke...
Basic Information: One does not write with their genitals... Though one could physically do so with the insertion of a writing implement...but trust me if that was really a thing I'd have seen a sex show featuring it.
BTW males have been writing female characters for eons and no one ever wondered HOW that was possible. (Smells kind of like sexism at play).
Newsflash: Most of the murder mystery writers haven't committed the horrific crimes they depict... and I'm going out on a limb but Anne Rice isn't a vampire.
3) You're objectifying men.
Um... romance genre focuses on love, relationships and sex.
4) Why don't you write NORMAL romance?
Who defines NORMAL? LOVE IS LOVE. This is normal...
5) Men aren't like that?
Um... okay. The world is a BIG place and while someone who throws this at me at a criticism might not know men like some of our/my characters... they do exist. BTW people on the edges of any spectrum don't feel comfortable sharing with people who have a narrow attitude. We need to stop trying to paint people with the wide brush of HOW YOU SHOULD BE... I dislike when people refuse to acknowledge everyone DOES NOT fit into labeled boxes because it implies people on the fringes are somehow wrong.
The questions of WHY and HOW go on and on but at the GRL for this glorious span of days the question is WHEN? WHEN is the next book in your series coming out? WHEN will you write about this kind of character/plot? WHEN is such a better question than why or how...
The GRL is a gathering of tribe. Readers, writers, reviewers, publishers all together in one place to celebrate what the rest of the world doesn't quite understand... but we do.
If you are attending the GRL find me and give me a hug (if you're a hugger). I adore my tribe they know me best.
Hugs, Z.
October 8, 2015
Pansexuality
Someone who can be physically &/or romantically attracted to others regardless of gender or gender identity (men, women, third gender, bigender, two-spirit, genderqueer, gender fluid, agender/genderless).Pansexuality (coming from the Greek = ALL) is also known as omnisexual.
But REMEMBER: just because someone's attraction is not limited by gender identity or assigned sex at birth… it does NOT mean they are. (Individual preferences still apply).
Difference between Pansexual and Bisexual:Bisexual suggests attraction to two sexes (Bi=Two). Pansexual means potential attraction to all.
In the past bisexual meant potential attraction to males and females... but now in a world where gender identity is being clarified, it still means two (due to the prefix of BI) but it could mean transguys and guys or transguys and transwomen or... any combination. It's no longer limited to only male and females assigned at birth.
There you have.
Hugs, Z.
October 1, 2015
ASEXUALITY
Asexuality is when an individual lacks sexual attraction toward others. They are NOT intrinsically drawn to have sex. However they can still chose to have sex.
Asexuality like other orientations is a spectrum. The individual's relationship to sex varies.
Some are sex repulsed.
Others are indifferent. For them, sex is meh, whatever. Take it or leave it.
Some view sex as favorable and are okay with sex as an activity.
And others are sex aversive and avoid it.
Keep in mind just because someone is asexual doesn’t mean they can’t have sex. Some do. Some asexuals can experience sexual arousal. Some asexual people masturbate… some do not. If they do it doesn't affect their orientation. Like all the other orientations the expression is unique to the individual.
Keep in mind just because someone is an asexual doesn't mean they are aromantic. Aromantic is experiencing little or no romantic attraction to others beyond friendship.
Someone who is asexual can lack sexual attraction to others but may still crave a romantic connection. They can still find an intimate emotional bond with someone that doesn’t involve sexual attraction.
I thought you might gain a richer understanding listening to people share their stories.
Asexuality.org is a great resource for finding out more information.
Hugs, Z.
Asexuality like other orientations is a spectrum. The individual's relationship to sex varies.
Some are sex repulsed.
Others are indifferent. For them, sex is meh, whatever. Take it or leave it.
Some view sex as favorable and are okay with sex as an activity.
And others are sex aversive and avoid it.
Keep in mind just because someone is asexual doesn’t mean they can’t have sex. Some do. Some asexuals can experience sexual arousal. Some asexual people masturbate… some do not. If they do it doesn't affect their orientation. Like all the other orientations the expression is unique to the individual.
Keep in mind just because someone is an asexual doesn't mean they are aromantic. Aromantic is experiencing little or no romantic attraction to others beyond friendship.
Someone who is asexual can lack sexual attraction to others but may still crave a romantic connection. They can still find an intimate emotional bond with someone that doesn’t involve sexual attraction.
I thought you might gain a richer understanding listening to people share their stories.
Asexuality.org is a great resource for finding out more information.
Hugs, Z.
September 24, 2015
Bisexuality Celebration
Bisexual individuals have the ability to be attracted to both men and women. Someone who is bisexual can face a lot of prejudice and confusion about their orientation. They can be accused of being indecisive or greedy or just going through a phrase.
It's true for some people the label of bisexuality is a steppingstone on the way to coming out as gay or lesbian. For these folks, bisexuality is category they tried on to see what feels right. I’m sure many of us have known people who say they are bisexual but than later come out. Though remember identity for some individuals can evolve over time... and that's okay >>> cause we don't judge and we aren't the orientation police!
Here’s a cute man setting the record straight…
Here’s a lovely lady sharing silly things that show some people are confused by bisexuality.
I think SOME of the GAY FOR YOU or OUT FOR YOU sub-genre characters are bisexual and not aware of it. As with all sexualities & orientations there’s a spectrum so a dude could be all about the ladies then… BAM meet a gorgeous male hot rocker and lose his damned mind.
That’s what happens in With Wings. Darius Stone was “straight”. His switch was never flipped for a guy… but damn he couldn’t shake his attraction and eventual feelings for Angel Luv. (Totally understandable!)
BUY
September 17, 2015
Pride & Z. Allora's Zombies
PRIDE
Pride is about celebrating, educating and raising awareness about the LGBTQIA community. It's a place that people gather and realize they aren't alone. It's a place young people can see equality. Pride celebrates give unconditional acceptance and a place where everyone can be exactly who are. ((You don't have to be on the rainbow to attend you just need to be supportive!))
Sorry I was too short to capture the crowd!
As a rainbow romance writer I wanted to let the people of South Carolina know there are romances about people on the rainbow. Love is love and EVERYONE deserves a happily ever after (if they want one).
Eden Winters & Z. Eden is one of my critique partners who is an incredible writer and an amazing friend who is generous with her time... dealing with Z. trauma drama, untangling Z. speak and shaking the pretty out of my head.
In the middle between Eden & Z. is one of the pioneers of the gay romance genre. Ally Blue!!! Who stopped down for a visit.
There will always be haters. My first Pride 3 yrs ago there were 16 people screaming we'd be going to Hell. Each year people celebrating PRIDE grows and each year the protesters dwindle.
Here's the sad group on the wrong side of history this year.
The only reason why I'm showing you their negative bullshit so that you understand why it's important for everyone who can go to PRIDE events to go. Your participation as a sane normal person speaks volumes. You wearing a rainbow might reach someone who felt alone. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!!
Here's a list of PRIDE festivals all over the country. See which one is closest to you and make a plan to go!
PRIDE CELEBRATIONS
Zombies Suck... but mine SWALLOW
September 18, 2015 Club Zombie: Zombies Ahead returns to the shelf. It's been polished and re-written into a novel (20,000 words have been added). PL Nunn made me a snazzy new cover.
Now before you turn away with an EW! I don't like ZOMBIES... I don't like the traditional zombies either... mine are sexy. My lovely young men don't stumble around seeking brains... No, though warning they may drop to their knees to receive what they need to survive male ejaculate...
I know some of you are shaking your head thinking: What the hell has Z. Allora done this time? Just correcting the zombie lore one blowjob at a time... LOL. Check out Zombies Ahead and see all the creative ways Club Zombie helps them in searching for their mates.
Amazon Nook/Epub
Happy PRIDE & Happy Zombie Release!
Hugs, Z.
Pride is about celebrating, educating and raising awareness about the LGBTQIA community. It's a place that people gather and realize they aren't alone. It's a place young people can see equality. Pride celebrates give unconditional acceptance and a place where everyone can be exactly who are. ((You don't have to be on the rainbow to attend you just need to be supportive!))
Sorry I was too short to capture the crowd!As a rainbow romance writer I wanted to let the people of South Carolina know there are romances about people on the rainbow. Love is love and EVERYONE deserves a happily ever after (if they want one).
Eden Winters & Z. Eden is one of my critique partners who is an incredible writer and an amazing friend who is generous with her time... dealing with Z. trauma drama, untangling Z. speak and shaking the pretty out of my head.
In the middle between Eden & Z. is one of the pioneers of the gay romance genre. Ally Blue!!! Who stopped down for a visit. There will always be haters. My first Pride 3 yrs ago there were 16 people screaming we'd be going to Hell. Each year people celebrating PRIDE grows and each year the protesters dwindle.
Here's the sad group on the wrong side of history this year. The only reason why I'm showing you their negative bullshit so that you understand why it's important for everyone who can go to PRIDE events to go. Your participation as a sane normal person speaks volumes. You wearing a rainbow might reach someone who felt alone. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!!
Here's a list of PRIDE festivals all over the country. See which one is closest to you and make a plan to go!
PRIDE CELEBRATIONS
Zombies Suck... but mine SWALLOW
September 18, 2015 Club Zombie: Zombies Ahead returns to the shelf. It's been polished and re-written into a novel (20,000 words have been added). PL Nunn made me a snazzy new cover.
Now before you turn away with an EW! I don't like ZOMBIES... I don't like the traditional zombies either... mine are sexy. My lovely young men don't stumble around seeking brains... No, though warning they may drop to their knees to receive what they need to survive male ejaculate...
I know some of you are shaking your head thinking: What the hell has Z. Allora done this time? Just correcting the zombie lore one blowjob at a time... LOL. Check out Zombies Ahead and see all the creative ways Club Zombie helps them in searching for their mates.
Amazon Nook/Epub
Happy PRIDE & Happy Zombie Release!
Hugs, Z.
