Z. Allora's Blog, page 11

Samhain

Merry meet and merry part and may we meet again.

I'm lazy so I'm going to quote an article on Samhain from the Huff Post 
By Antonia Blumberg
1. Samhain typically celebrated from sunset on October 31 to sunset on November 1, almost halfway between the autumn equinox and the winter solstice.2. Samhain is pronounced “sah-win” or “sow-in.”3. Some modern pagans consider it the “witch’s new year,” and the end of the harvest season. It is a time of renewal and spiritual intention-setting.4. Rituals surrounding Samhain include bonfires, dancing, feasting and building altars to honor deceased ancestors. Some pagans bake special loaves of Samhain bread and leave offerings to the spirits outside their homes.5. Samhain is one of eight annual festivals commonly celebrated by pagans of various traditions, along with Yule, Imbolc, Ostara, Beltane, Midsummer, Lughnassad and Mabon.6. It’s considered a liminal time, when the veil between life and death grows thin. Food is set aside for ancestors and protective spirits and rituals honoring the dead take place.7. Samhain is believed to be one of the original festivals behind the holiday we know as Halloween. Some also associate it to the Christian All Saints’ Day on November 1.
8. Some of Halloween’s most common traditions are rooted in Samhain’s harvest festival roots, such as the carving of pumpkins and bobbing for apples.9. The Yellow Book of Lecan, a medieval book of tales, reported that people referred to Samhain as the “Feast of Mongfind,” a legendary witch-queen who married the King of Tara in old Ireland and was central to ancient Samhain celebrations, Selena Fox of Circle Sanctuary writes.10. Some celebrate Samhain with a ritual to guide the dead home by opening a western-facing door or window and placing a candle by the opening." 
By Antonia Blumberg10/28/2016 02:32 pm
Curious how Samhain became Halloween? Check out this interesting video.

Sparking Joy With Marie Kondo

As some of you know I ADORE organization and cleaning. Ask any number of my characters who either love and get into all things tidying up (maybe a bit too much) or hide from me. LOL

Anyway, Marie Kondo came out with a Netflix show about Tidying Up. I watched all episodes. She inspired me to organize deeper and to simplify my life.

One unexpected side effects of doing the KonMari method is I started approaching my life differently.

DOES IT SPARK JOY?  >>>>> If it doesn't thank it and pass it on.
It's magical to give yourself permission to let go of things that don't bring you happiness.

Here's a summary video:


Enjoy!

Big hugs, Z.

Cleaning!!!!!

Sick truth is I watch cleaning videos to relax. I know it might some like a nightmare but it gives me new ideas, educates me, and inspires me.

Things I do every day:
1) Make my bed
2) Spot vacuum floors
3) Laundry 1 load of clothing 1 load of towels (smaller loads = less time folding & putting away)
4) Errands
5) Reset the room I'm leaving
6) One of the things from my cleaning schedule

*** Resetting a room means before I leave a room everything is returned to it's place. Resetting is probably the biggest habit I have that keeps my world calm.
But to reset everything has a place. If things don't have a home things can become cluttered.

**Decluttering your items is essential for your peace of mind and your calmness of space.**

My informal cleaning schedules:
Monday: Bathrooms
Tuesday: Dust & Vacuum 2nd floor (Review refrigerator: clean & toss & plan)
Wednesday: Dust & Vacuum 1st floor
Thursday: Clean car
Friday: Organize something
Saturday: LOL > nothing unless I have to
Sunday: LOL  > nothing unless I have to
or (if I have less time I use this schedule)
Monday: Dusting
Tuesday: Vacuuming & Mopping
Wednesday: Kitchen deep clean (everything off the counters)
Thursday: Organize something
Friday: Deep clean something/Errands
Saturday: LOL  > nothing unless I have to
Sunday: LOL  > nothing unless I have to

I'd be remiss not to include Zack and Andrew. Yes, cleaning & organizing is HOT! At least Zack thinks so... it's the control. When your environment is clean and organized it suggests you're in control of yourself and your world and sometimes NOTHING IS HOTTER.


Rejected. Heartbroken. Devastated.

Zack Davis wanted to serve only one man, Andrew Nikeman. He was denied because Andrew thought he was too young and because their brothers were together. So Zack crushed his submissive tendencies and focused on being the perfect Dom, giving every sub he played with something he couldn’t have.

After years of denying his submissive side, Entwined’s charity auction “Are you Dom Enough to be a sub?” gives Zack an excuse to get a little of what he’s always craved.

Andrew doesn’t know when his infatuation turned into more, but it kills him to see Zack with a constant parade of submissives. He’d refused to jeopardize his brother’s relationship or become Zack’s regret; however, Zack isn’t a kid anymore, and his brother’s relationship is unbreakable. Now Zack’s popularity and success as a Dom might ruin Andrew’s dreams of collaring him, but he can’t wait any longer to confess his feelings or he risks losing the man he loves forever.



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Happy Cleaning!
Hugs, Z.

Zombies Suck

As you know I've re-written, re-covered, and re-edited the entire series. Club Zombies 1-3 will be out by the end of 2019.
I'm currently working on Club Zombie #4:  Zombies Blow.
I've decided to put the series in Kindle Unlimited and on Amazon. I'm hoping folks who don't know me will give my zombies a chance.
Remember Z. Allora's zombies are hot & aching to find their mates!
Zombies suck... but mine swallow!

Here's the blurb: 



Forget undead corpses searching for brains. These zombies crave a different kind of head that keeps them young forever. Club Zombie offers a safe haven, providing sexy ways to extract what zombies need from patrons, and the opportunity to find their destined mate.
Alex Waterman lives in a desolate world of loneliness and suffering until discovering… it’s not his life. Suddenly he’s swept away to a place where his desires aren’t evil—they’re a mark of the dominant he’s born to be—and appreciative stares and aggressive flirting replace fear and self-loathing. But one-night stands aren’t on the menu: Alex seeks “the one” to complete the missing piece of his soul.
Boy-next-door Ulrich calls to Alex, as does the gorgeous but self-destructive Cutter, and an element of irresistible danger clings to bad boy Storm. How can Alex decide between three tempting possibilities?
Maybe he should keep them all…
This is a sexy happily ever after with much lighthearted fun. Zombies suck but mine swallow.

Buy Link

Dick Tricks Penis Puppetry

Because it's fun.
Hugs, Z.

Interview I did on Editing

 As I'm in the process of re-editing my Club Zombie series for the third time I can tell you I've learned the importance of a professional editor, copy editor, and proofer. (Also fascinating how much I've changed as a writing since these were first released by Stiff Rain 10 years ago)
The Interview on Editing1)    Tell us a bit about you and your writing (e.g. what do you write, how did you get into it, are you with a small press or do you self-pub?)I write rainbow romances involving BDSM, and contemporary about characters who are on the fringes and edges. I explore different orientations like demi-sexual, pansexual, BDSM-oriented, etc. as well as writing about people scattered along the gender spectrum. My goal is to validate everyone’s experience.
I partner with Dreamspinner Press on most of my work but I’ve done some self-publishing for the books that need more of a niche audience. Like I’ve just re-edited and re-covered my Club Zombie series polishing the book for their first release on Kindle Unlimited later this summer.
2)    What do you enjoy most about the editing process?Polishing my words and stories so everyone can enjoy my Z. speak. Each round from rough draft to beta readers/critique partners to editors to proofing the manuscript becomes more of what is in my head. The process is thrilling. I’m so appreciative of all the wonderful people who spend time on my words to make sure I’m getting all my words on the page.
3)    What do you find hardest about the editing process?Sometimes when someone finds something I’ve missed a thousand times or something I didn’t mean a certain way gets picked up I’m happy but I feel incredibly stupid for having missed that.
4)    What are your general thoughts on editing as part of the overall publishing process? Authors should understand what their priorities are. Is it to write a best seller or to write your heart song. I define heart song as the story you long to tell but you don’t know if you’ll find the audience for it. Yes, I know everyone wants to do both… awesome but only a handful of authors are able to do both. Everyone else needs to understand the consequences of their decision. If you’re writing in a popular genre and sub-genre which is consistent to your brand chances are you will do as well as you do with your other such books in your backlist. However, if you’re writing your heart song that may only be read by your core fans, then you need to be okay with that. Granted it might be a huge hit if so great but the reward to writing exactly what you want is just that: writing exactly what you wanted while not caring about the market or your intended audience.

5)    What are your top editing-related tips for authors?A) Listen to your trustedbeta/critique partner/editors. Take a day or a week to sit with the feedback given to you. See what makes sense. Ask them clarifying questions. (Keep in mind these are the people who don’t want you kicked in the teeth in reviews. Remember you trust them, that’s why you have asked them for feedback.)B) Paint with paragraphs. Most readers don’t like long paragraphs with a ton of stuff happening. It’s difficult to keep it all straight, and skimming can result. (Keep in mind if you write romance, you want the readers come to with you on a journey of love and excitement so they need all the important parts.) I love white space. It moves the reader and allows them a moment so the action or dialogue can have impact before moving to the next thing. C) Sex scenes are about connection and love (usually if it’s a romance). This isn’t about you and what you do or don’t do in the bedroom. Allow the characters to be themselves. D) Read dialogue out loud. (Keep in mind where they are from, where they live, their educational background all impacts their word choice and how they speak.)E) Know your brand and your audience. No matter how awesome a hamburger joint is it’s not going to do well in a vegan town… It’s not about the burgers it’s the wrong audience. Don’t try to force a romance reader to choke down non-happily ever after (unless you’re branding yourself as such). Fulfil your contract with the reader to the best of your ability. Brand yourself accurately.

Social Media as Rocking Thin Ice’s Matchmaker

In a long ago dark time before the Internet, I found my own true love by taking out a personal ad, so I’m always fascinated to explore how hook-up/dating sites and social media play a part in today’s romance. Many real-life romances I know of have started with the use of a phone app, a retweet, or a Facebook like.
We live in an age where people can Google you, and see what you are doing via your social media presence. It’s exciting and a bit worrisome but I must admit I love the idea of websites helping people find love for thirty minutes or love for a lifetime.  
My guitaristDrake Keys has watched Blaze Parker skate on YouTube for years. He follows him on Twitter, and since he’s made a name for himself as Midnight Shadow’s guitarist he’s thrilled when Blaze Parker likes one of his tweets.
Blaze isn’t immune to likes either.
Check out this excerpt of Rocking Thin Ice :Blaze checked his Instagram. Pictures of last night’s competition got a little under ten thousand hits. Not bad. He checked his Twitter.

A shiver of excitement ran through him when his notification said Drake Keys liked three of his posts. No big deal. He had several actors, actresses, and singers following him. But every time the guitar player hearted his entry, it felt like the ultimate approval.


He loved that he’d be skating to music Drake Keys helped create. Scrolling through the pictures Drake posted, Blaze caught his breath on one—Drake onstage, playing the guitar, his head thrown back like the picture captured him in the middle of ecstasy. Each frozen pose held poetry in his body language that spoke to Blaze.
Blaze caught himself. Stupid, but he couldn’t stop from liking a couple of Drake’s pictures, but not all, because he didn’t want to look like he rode the like train to Stalkerville.
He saved the one of Drake onstage. Was that his orgasm face?
Drake orgasming... the thought got lodged in Blaze’s brain, so he jerked off to the delicious vision.


May you find your happiness with or without social media!
Thank you for letting me share Blaze and Drake with you. I hope this introduction to Drake and Blaze has whet your appetite for more.

 Buy Link
Rocking Thin Ice’s BlurbCan a sexy rock star show a relationship-phobic ice skater that there’s more to life than gold medals?  
When ice-skating’s bad boy Blaze first glimpses Drake, every fantasy he’s ever had flares to life. Not only is rock star Drake sexy as sin, his songs awaken a longing in Blaze that he’s denied for years. But Blaze Parker doesn’t believe in relationships—at least not those that last more than twenty minutes. 
Drake Keys has dreamed about the sensual ice skater for years. When Drake is kicked out of his band because of his bisexuality, he drives across the country to finally see the man he’s had a crush on skate live.   
Though the attraction is instant and intense, both Blaze and Drake have baggage that puts any relationship on thin ice. Blaze is driven by a long-ago betrayal to prove himself a champion, and Drake, uncertain about the future, hopes to resurrect his music career. As they take a road trip together, Drake romances Blaze, hoping to melt his heart and show him that love is possible… but not without some tough decisions.
BUY LINKSDreamspinner: eBook PrintKoboiTunes

Big hugs, Z.

Know The Definitions of Labels You Use

Whenever labels are used I always worry we will use them to pathologize (to treat as unhealthy or abnormal) or that those labels are used to justify certain actions or behaviors without looking deeper.
BDSM roles/labels often get negative assumptions slopped on them because people’s definitions can be sketchy. We’ve talked about how subs are not doormats a lot but people still can see subs as less than. People who identify as sadists can be seen as psychopaths. People who identify as Dom/Master/Mistresses/Top can also be seen as uncaring, overbearing assholes… now while that is the case for some it has nothing to do with the definition of their role.
Identifying with one role does not completely describe any single one of us, so let’s try not to paint with a wide brush.
I’m going to share an excerpt from Secured and Free because my researcher Orion can explain it better than I can.

Excerpt from Secured and Free :
Orion opted to ask Marcus a question. “So do you really identify as a sadist?”
“It’s what I am. I don’t mind labels....”
Orion added, “As long as they aren’t used to pathologize....” “What?” Marcus stared at him.
“Sometimes people take a label and then make sweeping assumptions about every person who identifies with that label, or the label is used like a diagnosis that may or may not fit.”
Marcus exhaled hard. “Yeah, like when I say sadist, everyone jumps to Silence of the Lambs.”
“My guess is most people don’t understand the difference between sociopath, psychopath, and sadist. And they probably assume every sadist expresses himself or herself the same way.” Marcus made a quiet noise and changed the color he used.
Orion erupted with facts. “Did you know that sadists have a greater capacity to have their amygdala stimulated?”
Marcus stopped coloring, dropped his marker, and raised his head. His big eyes probably took in Orion’s nervousness. His lips turned up, and one perfectly shaped eyebrow arched. “Are you talking dirty to me, Orion?”
“Only if you want me to.” Marcus opened his mouth, but Orion didn’t want to go down that path, so he shook his head. “Um, the amygdala is part of the brain that’s connected with strong emotion.”
Marcus leaned forward, put his elbows on the table, and started playing with his purple strands. “Oh.”
Did the man realize how sexy that twirl-twist action was? The slow, rhythmic, sensual swirling of Marcus’s hair made Orion hard. Ah, from the knowing expression, Marcus understood exactly what he was doing.
Orion shook his head to think beyond the lust. What was he saying? “Um, yeah, usually a sadist is super tuned in to what others are feeling.” Sitting back, Marcus gripped the table. “Yeah, I don’t need someone on a mental crucifix experiencing anguish, but I’m into witnessing the exquisite sensations I’m providing someone else.... The intensity....”
He raked his fingers through his hair. “It’s perfection.”
Holy fuck! Orion wanted to beg him to share the depths of power exchange. No words came to mind, and the moment dragged out between them.
Marcus grabbed Orion’s hand. “You’re trembling.”
Orion couldn’t meet his gaze, so he stared at his half-colored mandala. He was desperate to taste the extremes Marcus could offer, but there was no path between that desire and action. Marcus studied him, which caused Orion to shift in his seat.
He beat a hasty retreat to the safety of his mind, reaching into the files where he stored information on studies. “Do you believe in Decety’s theory of sadism?”
“What? Who? Dirty talking to me again, you tease.” Marcus’s russet eyes sparkled, and his dark red lips twitched.
Orion grabbed on to facts to allow himself some sanity. “The concept that love and pain are somehow linked in infancy and that connection creates the sadist’s hunger to mix the two.” Marcus shook his head. “My mother, who I love very much, never hurt me or laid a hand on me. So that isn’t me.”
At the risk of sounding like he was conducting research, Orion asked, “So why do you suppose your sadistic tendencies developed?”
A pop song came on. The bouncing music and lyrics seemed to make their conversation heavier. Marcus shrugged and leaned forward. “I can’t speak for everyone, but I have a theory about how I became me....”
Excitement spiked within Orion. He’d already guessed Marcus wasn’t the type of person to build himself up at the expense of those around him, and he wouldn’t get off on someone cowering in fear. But begging to come—
Focus. “Yes?”
“Masochists get off on pain.” Marcus tugged on his hair.
Orion nodded in complete understanding. “Yes, we’re sexually gratified by physical and sometimes mental pain. It fulfills a need others don’t have.”
“Subs want to serve. Masochists want to hurt.”
The oversimplification didn’t liquefy Orion, but the wave of desire almost drowned him. He yearned to do both of those things for someone worthy.
“Well, as a masochist, I crave that torment, and as a sadist, I want to provide the pleasure of pain to others.”
“So the sensation you seek is what you give?” Orion asked. “And with your heightened senses, you might even experience a scene in some ways more fully than a Dom.”
“Exactly!” Marcus exclaimed. “I think you’re the first person to get what I’m saying.”
Yes—no! Backing up. “Well, there’s not a lot of research on sadists. There would be ethical issues, but there was a study that showed sadists aren’t that rare.”
Marcus opened his eyes wider. “Really? What study?”
Orion loved that Marcus wasn’t put off by his verbal deluge. He got off on sharing information; maybe he really should have listened to his parents and gone into teaching. “A couple of years ago, Dr. Paulhus published a study in Psychological Science. Students were asked to choose among distasteful work tasks. Over 50 percent chose to be exterminators or exterminator’s assistants as opposed to cleaning toilets or enduring pain from ice water.”
Marcus frowned and tilted his head. “Okay?”
“The bug killers were given three bugs in a container. The bugs were given cutesy names like Muffin. The exterminators needed to drop the bugs into a coffee grinder.”
Marcus scrunched his face. “Ew!”
“Don’t worry, there was a hidden compartment. No bugs were hurt. But the machine made crunching sounds.”
Marcus winced. “That’s sick! I couldn’t do that.”
“A couple of subjects quit, but some asked for more bugs....” “Really?” Marcus appeared green and about ready to make a run to the trash bin.
Nodding, Orion continued, “In later studies, Dr. Paulhus had subjects compete, using computer games in separate rooms. The winner could blast the loser with noise from zero to ten, even though the winner had to finish a boring assignment if they wanted to blare noise. The subjects who scored high on the sadistic tendencies would go out of their way to punish the loser. And it wasn’t even about retaliation, because when the subject lost, the participant who was connected to the experiment always chose zero.”
Marcus hmmmed.
“Dr. Paulhus believed this showed sadists are not rare but vary in degree of expression. Sadists function like everyone else. I mean, of course you know that.”
Marcus chuckled. “But even though I’m a sadist, I wouldn’t want to blast noise for the fuck of it.”
“Exactly. I also never understood why most depictions of people who are sadistic also characterize them as being psychopaths.”
Marcus twirled a marker between his fingers. “Okay? Why?”
“Psychopaths hurt people as a byproduct of getting what they want, whereas a sadist will make an effort to hurt people because they want to experience the pain through their subject.” Orion couldn’t seem to shut up. “That, and psychopaths lack empathy.... I guess movies linking sadism with psychopathic personalities don’t ring true for me. Not that there aren’t some people who might be both, but I think it would be the exception not the rule.” Orion’s dissertation ground to a halt.
Marcus nodded. “It’s true. I’m all about the empathy... but I wouldn’t want to hurt or inflict pain on someone who wasn’t going to get into it. I need them to want the sensation.”
Orion would so get into the pain Marcus could offer and love every excruciating second of whatever—
No! “I think when we step away from the labels and strict definitions, we find that most things are on a spectrum.”
“So I’m on the sadistic spectrum?” Marcus asked.
“Yes, and your streak of masochism pulls you off the median.” Seeing he’d lost his coloring partner, he clarified, “Top of the bell curve.”
“Off-center?”
“Right.” Orion added purples to his mandala.
Marcus cleared his throat and swapped out his markers for silver and gold. “That’s why Hunter and I need a third. Someone who can enjoy the pain I want to share and be submissive to Hunt.” Orion saw one problem. “Hunter doesn’t—”
“I can play the sub for Hunter, but I don’t long for direction. Following instructions and staying within boundaries, that’s just not me.” Marcus made quick strokes of the gold along the rim of his artwork. “He’s not into the sensation I need to share. Though he’d tolerate it for me, I want to do that with someone who craves pain... who needs the experience as much as I do. To have someone allow me to make them feel to that extent is heady. In his profession, pain doesn’t equal good.”


How people express/experience BDSM roles are unique and individual. But understanding the basic definitions and then making sure those actually fit can help.

Entwined Dreams: Book Two      Secured and Free
An abusive Dom robbed Orion Gordon of his love of BDSM, destroying his confidence and leaving him unsure he’ll ever find peace through submission to another. Still, deep inside, his longing continues.
Marcus Sadir loves Hunter Dixon, yet can’t be the one thing Hunter truly desires: a sub to control. And Hunter can’t find satisfaction in the sadistic aspects of the BDSM lifestyle, while Marcus thrives on inflicting and sharing pain. When Marcus convinces Hunter they should find a third on a permanent basis, they discover Orion might be the key to bridging their differences and joining them on a deeper level.
But they must help Orion move past his trauma enough for him to enjoy new facets of BDSM and kink again. Their journey toward becoming whole—together—won’t be without challenges. Can Orion trust enough to try again?



Buy Links Dreamspinner PressAmazonKoBo Barnes& Noble GooglePlayShakespeare & Sons

Always seek your own truth.
I’d love to hear from you so comment here or use the contact information to touch base with me privately.
Many hugs, Z. Allora
To contact Z. Allora: E-mail: Z.AlloraHappyEndings@gmail.com FACEBOOK :   Z Allora AlloraWebsite: www.zallorabooks.comTwitter: @ZAlloraBlog: http://zallora.blogspot.comDreamspinner: https://bit.ly/2Jv14r1
BIO: Z. Allora believes in happily ever after for everyone. She met her own true love through the personals and has traveled to over thirty countries with him. She’s lived in Singapore, Israel and China. Now back home to the USA she’s an active member of PFLAG and a strong supporter of those on the rainbow in her community. She wants to promote understanding and acceptance through her actions and words. Writing rainbow romance allows her the opportunity to open hearts and change minds.

Original plot bunny of Rocking Thin Ice

I was raised in Upstate New York and learned to skate when I was two years old. I loved the freedom that gliding over the ice gave me. Though I never had any formal training, I can skate backwards, and I used to be able to do some simple jumps. When I received the contract for Rocking Thin Ice I announced it while skating.
Origin story of my Olympic skater Blaze Parker: A few years ago, two wonderful friends on Facebook kept tagging me in ice-skating videos. The talent, the grace… those asses! The plot bunny for Rocking Thin Ice hopped in my bunny hutch while I watched Johnny Weir doing an exhibition skate on YouTube to a Lady Gaga song. His presentation and artistry forced my hand, and I started taking notes on Blaze Parker—who would become the main character in Rocking Thin Ice .


Blaze was talented and sexy, but he’d been betrayed by another skater he had a crush on. He responded by working harder and longer than any other skater. Blaze only had time in his life for his brother, his dog, and skating. There were phone apps if he needed to get laid, relationships were not necessary.
Olympian Blaze Parker doesn't do relationship longer than twenty minutes until he brings home rock star Drake Keys….
I was on a roll with him and just as I figured out who the other main character would be the anime Yuri On Ice came out.
Sigh…
Don’t get me wrong I adore Yuri On Ice. Yurio is my angry little potato chip and he rocks! I also respect how Yuri On Icechanged anime forever. Though I didn’t want it to seem like I was copying so I put my badass skater on hold for about two years.
Finally, I couldn’t wait to write Blaze and Drake any longer and the story poured out of me.
When Adam Rippon came out as the first openly gay figure skater going to the Olympics, I applauded him and I was well into my third draft. Nothing was going to stop me from sharing this story.
There was some worry that I had embellished the homophobia too much. How could a sport like men’s ice skating be homophobic? (I guess to some it feels welcoming with the sequins and pastel? Stereotype much?)
But then Adam Rippon shared his story of how he was afraid of being “too gay” to skate. His coaches told him to butch it up. So unfortunately, Blaze’s experiences in Rocking Thin Ice echoes what skaters have experienced in real life. Maybe that will start changing but for right now, the fact that Adam Rippon was the first openly gay skater to be out during Olympic competition tells us we have much further to go on the road equality and acceptance.
Here’s an excerpt during Blaze’s competition:
He stepped onto the ice and felt everything start to change.Across the rink, Blaze felt emboldened by his fury, which funneled into determination, and he inhaled the brisk air laced with popcorn, soda, and the smell of possibility. This was destiny.He stretched his arms out and did a slow circle on the ice. Luke and Anna always teased him that he marked his territory the same way his puppy did. In a way, he did. He swayed his hips to skate to the middle of the ice, giving the crowd languid movements to refocus all their attention onto him.Once in the center, he spun to a stop and went into a stance with hands behind his back. The audience hushed.Every second he was on the ice had been a fight, and everything boiled down to these moments of battle. Like all athletes, he fought his body to push past limitations, and he usually won the daily battle. The fight against expectations wasn’t always an easy win.Not even “butching it up,” as his first coach recommended, had worked, because his delicate, more feminine, features weren’t something he could change. The fact misogyny is one of the factors that contribute to homophobia hadn’t been lost on him, but instead of addressing it head-on, he fought the ugliness by not giving people the opportunity to invalidate him.The throbbing guitar of “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” blared over the ice, filling him. Pat Benatar’s song had become his theme song through the years, and a dare to the Skating Federation. However, when you issued this kind of invitation, you had to back that with skill and perfection.He might look breakable, but he’d show the audience his core had been forged of titanium from the hell he’d gone through. The song got everyone clapping while he danced into his first quad and then his second. The driving ’80s backbeat fit his jump-heavy program.The lyrics of the song fed his intentions. He’d dealt with feeling like a loser for too long, and he was done. The time had come to retrieve what Trent had taken from him.Hard-rocking lyrics demanded he take back his power as he soared over the ice and into a triple. So, unless Trent had left every bit of himself on the ice… this competition would be Blaze’s. No one and nothing would take this away from him.He lost himself in the music, moving his body and allowing muscle memory to take over. The culmination of years filled with hurt and anger morphed into triple axels and lutzes that would ensure his victory.Winning this competition and dealing with Trent would finally allow him to break free of the chains that had kept him bound to his past mortification and feelings of unworthiness. He’d be able to move beyond Trent and stupid decisions—although Anna would point out, not if Blaze kept making dumbass decisions.What was I thinking with this bet?Focus!At the halfway point, Benatar’s fighting words transmuted into the slower “We Are the Champions” by Queen. Blaze needed to live the music. The transition worked and allowed him a few seconds to breathe. He skated by the judges mentally, singing how he had paid his dues….Fuck. He gave more than his fair share. The judges, in turn, lowered his score whenever they could get away with the travesty, even the ones not from openly homophobic countries. It was the reason he’d worked incredibly hard to seek perfection, because anything else wouldn’t count.The pinging keys of the piano echoed through the rink, paving the way for some intricate footwork. Queen’s music allowed him to use his more feminine movements as a foil, making his next set of jumps seem that much more unexpected and powerful. He’d fuck expectations of the feminine being weak as often as he could.Freddie Mercury sang how he’d committed no crime. Blaze gained speed, thinking about his biggest mistake. How many times would he be punished for simply giving head to someone he’d liked?Fury at needing to prove he wasn’t the hurt kid they’d tried to shame out of competition attempted to invade him. He crushed the emotions and accessed the control that drove him forward.The music ramped to a climax, and all the way, Blaze did lutzes, salchows, toe loops, triple axels, and ended in a motherfucking quad. All in the second half of the program… because he could.The crowd lost their minds and screamed for him. When Freddie sang about taking bows, Blaze glided past the judges, showing them more respect than most of them ever showed him.If the closed-circuit TV got a close-up of his face, surely the irony at the lyrics he skated to could easily be read in his expression. But like the song, he would keep fighting well past the end.Exhaustion caught him, but he nailed the last two jumps ’cause he was a goddamnned fucking champion and no one would take that from him.Final spin, ending in Freddie Mercury’s victorious pose with fist raised, and done.A sea of dragons rained down on the ice around him as he desperately sought air. Familiar tears slipped down his face as the plushies made the loss of his parents surface. His mom and dad hadn’t been there when he’d claimed his silver medal at the Olympics, and they wouldn’t be there in physical body this time either when he hopefully took home the gold. He scooped up one of the plush dragons closest to him and hugged the little plushie. Once again, he was reminded that death didn’t end a relationship… death only changed it.He took a lap to blow kisses to the audience and clapped for their appreciation and support of him. Gratitude for them being there for him—even if the skating community wasn’t always in his corner—never failed to close his throat with emotion.
Blaze Parker had a tough time but his fans and his love for the sport got him through. I thank you for reading romance, and those who gifted me with the plot bunny that did a backflip into Rocking Thin Ice .
Here’s Rocking Thin Ice’s Blurb:Can a sexy rock star show a relationship-phobic ice skater that there’s more to life than gold medals?  
When ice-skating’s bad boy Blaze first glimpses Drake, every fantasy he’s ever had flares to life. Not only is rock star Drake sexy as sin, his songs awaken a longing in Blaze that he’s denied for years. But Blaze Parker doesn’t believe in relationships—at least not those that last more than twenty minutes. 
Drake Keys has dreamed about the sensual ice skater for years. When Drake is kicked out of his band because of his bisexuality, he drives across the country to finally see the man he’s had a crush on skate live.   
Though the attraction is instant and intense, both Blaze and Drake have baggage that puts any relationship on thin ice. Blaze is driven by a long-ago betrayal to prove himself a champion, and Drake, uncertain about the future, hopes to resurrect his music career. As they take a road trip together, Drake romances Blaze, hoping to melt his heart and show him that love is possible… but not without some tough decisions.

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Big hugs, Z.
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Facebook: Z Allora Allora and join Z.’s Yaoified Love group (for fun, character chatters, giveaways, and silliness)Website: www.zallorabooks.com Blog: zallora.blogspot.comDreamspinner Press: www.dreamspinnerpress.com/books/z-all...

Humiliation

Humiliation
I guess this is on my mind. I'm in edits for The Longest Night .  A solstice BDSM story... humiliation is part of how the two guys like to play. But sometimes one person's humiliation is another's happy place. More on this story in other posts. It should be out toward the end of 2019. But back to humiliation....
Humiliation can be part of BDSM play and usually falls under edgeplay.
The usual Sane, Safe and Consensual rules may not apply because this activity can cause mental anguish and/or can triggering. The humiliation may have some unforeseen impacts.
This means the Dom/Master/Top should do more of a RACK assessment (risk-aware consensual kink) to mitigate the unintended consequences of this activity. Humiliation (by its very nature) is a potentially damaging activity which is why care should be taken.
Those in charge of the scene need to negotiate the scope of the humiliation with the submissive. Where are the limits, soft spots, and deliciousness so the Master/Dom/Top knows how to proceed.
They need to determine: What’s hot? What’s not? What harms and what doesn’t even register.
Dom/Master/Tops need to be mindful of past traumas experienced by the sub and how it is connected to the humiliation. Self-esteem issues in to be considered.
Talking with the sub is key to understanding how best to make humiliation work for them and to achieve the desired goal. 
Why Would Anyone Want to be Humiliated?I hear the question without even you asking it because usually in day-to-day life that’s something most people avoid.
Though there are people in the world that have a deep desire to be made to feel embarrassed (humiliated) or even to be dehumanized (treated like an inanimate object or animal). The same parts of the brain that are affected by physical pain are stimulation by humiliation. If physical pain excites the sub, humiliation might also have the same effect.
Like much of BDSM activities, humiliation is about pushing your limits. In some cases, you are taking the power of the action (humiliation) back. Owning the humiliation and turning it into a more positive energy can empower the sub.
Humiliation can put the sub in an extremely submissive position. The Dom/Master/Top doing this humiliating thing to the sub/slave/bottom gives them the pleasure of being “put in their place” so they can worship their Master/Dom/Top better. It’s a mind fuck.
With the power we exchange in BDSM is about trusting someone to do something humiliating to them and then bringing them though the other side where we are stronger for having gone through it.
Some people just get off on mental pain.
It’s freeing to do some of the role playing. Things that you would never want to be called outside a scene could light your hidden fires.
During the power exchange with the Master/Dom they can get that need met in a “safe” way.Exploring in a safe contained environment can be healing and empowering.

Some examples of Humiliation
VerbalUsing words as insults, name calling, ridiculing the sub, forcing the sub to say things that may not be true (forced flattery) or things they don’t want to admit, mockery, public scolding or belittling.
At a BDSM club, I witnessed a sub being told he had a tiny dick. His Mistress started off whispering to him, then to others. Then she started laughing at him. She berated him for his little cock and told him how it was too small to satisfy anyone.
Based on his blush, and demeanor (head down unable to meet anyone’s gaze, etc.) he was totally humiliated in front of the small group of people watching him.
He had an erection as he apologized for his “tiny” (appearing quite averaged sized) penis. (He didn’t cry but it was a possibly.)
The sub was able to explore being ridiculed in a contained environment about something that (maybe) was worrying/upsetting for him in a safe way, and while it made him embarrassed it also got him off. He faced his fear, and afterwards he seemed happier.

PhysicalSome examples of physical humiliation: spitting, golden showers (urinating on the person), ejaculating on sub’s body/face, forced penetration, micro-management (needing permission to use the bathroom, eat, anything), kneeling, collar and leash, body worship, or having your hair cut.

As always humiliation is very individualized to the sub. Keep in mind what might be humiliating to one sub might not even register as discomfort for another.
I spoke to someone about golden showers and for him, it had nothing to do with humiliation for him it was receiving something from the man’s body. It was joyous and made him happy. Someone else would find that degrading.
Here’s a video I thought was pretty good. https://sexpositivepsych.com/humiliat...

Always seek your own truth.
I’d love to hear from you so comment here or use the contact information to touch base with me privately.
Many hugs, Z. Allora