Z. Allora's Blog, page 13

Total Power Exchange

What is that?
BDSM is about exchanging power with another/others. Total Power Exchange (TPE) is when there is a consensual agreement that the Dominant takes complete responsibility for the sub/slave and the sub/slave agrees to adhere to the Dominant’s authority in all realms. The dynamic doesn’t stop after a scene but it continues 24/7.
(Since some people don’t like to term slave I will use both sub/submissive and slave… and yes, some would criticize me with love that TPE by definition means the sub is a slave. And for the fact I use the term person/people to include the slave/sub so mark me down as a rebel with too many causes but sub/slave is how I’m moving forward.)
I will say I’ve met many people who believe in the all or nothing way of BDSM and that filters through to Total Power Exchange. If it works for them great, but after 30+ years, I live in the real world: What works for some doesn’t may not work for others.
Just because you don’t take TPE to the extreme doesn’t make what you’re doing any less valid than folks doing everything by the “rules” 24/7.
**To me there is NO wrong way if the people engaging in this type of relationship are contented and no one else is being harmed I say go for it in the way that sparks your joy and fits YOUR reality**
A Total Power Exchange is a HUGE deal. Emphasis on the world TOTAL, you are exchanging power on all levels and without an end.
Many times, this is the ultimate fantasy for a sub. To give themselves over completely and the Master will fill their life with purpose. Providing the gift of service to a Master who gives you what you need seems flawless. What could possibly interfere with the deliciousness of TPE?
How does total power exchange translate into public life? Are both Master and slave/sub comfortable with the idea of EVERYONE knowing including but not limited to: family, non-BDSM friends, work peers, bosses, grocery clerks, kids, etc. EVERYONE? Or do you need to negotiate who knows. Also, what are the consequences of people knowing and of not knowing? How can you lessen the negative impact?Does the slave/sub continue to work outside the home?
What is the extent of the Master’s authority?Total? Great, let’s step beyond the sexiness of the Master controlling the slave’s orgasms, and commanding them about while they prance around with fluid grace. How about when and where (& in some cases how) the slave is able to go to the bathroom? Financial decisions? Health decisions? Family decisions?
To what level does the Master and slave/sub want the slave/sub’s schedule micromanaged. That’s no small undertaking if they want it to be “total” control. Even if you have a nice routine ironed out what happens when the unexpected occurs? Are there contingencies in place? Should the sub/slave contact the Master? What if they can’t be reached? If there’s an emergency how should the slave/sub react? Call their Master before 9-1-1?
On one extreme the Master decides everything and the relationship is known to everyone. The sub/slave doesn’t work outside the home and is given a routine from the Master and all contingencies are taken-into-account. There’s a secure safety plan in place. There is no softening of how the Master and slave/sub interact regardless of the situation. Some people can manage this and be extremely happy for their entire lives. I’ve met a handful and I think it’s amazing and beautiful.
But perhaps people who are in a forever relationship and are in a TPE there might be times when things come up where the sub/slave should/must/needs (gasp) to have an equal say in a particular matter so they use a loophole of 23/7.
23/7 makes allowances for reality. In many total power exchange relationships there is no safeword. If an unexpected and unplanned emergency happens and the slave/sub needs to stop the TPE for a time and deal with the situation as a full partner 23/7 takes that into account. I don’t have kids but I’d imagine both parents might want a say in raising them, decisions on elderly parents, moving, huge financial commitments, etc. (Again, when other people are impacted a closer look needs to be given.)
ContractThere is usually a contract (though some people don’t have one). A contract can help each person clarify responsibilities, expectations, goals, etc. The contract can be written as specific or open as the individuals chose. Maybe 23/7 isn’t enough and more equality, at times is needed to enhance the relationship. Contract negotiation is the time to figure these variables out to the best of your abilities.Here’s site offers that offers TPE Contracts:  https://bdsmcontracts.org/master-slave-contract
((SIDE NOTE for sub/slaves: Please be EXTEMELY careful of the partner(s) you chose to enter into a TPE with because this could quickly turn into a nightmare. Your mental and physical health is important make sure it’s being addressed by someone who takes their responsibilities seriously.))
Adapting a Total Power Exchange to RealityI believe with enough creativity you can get around almost any obstacle. So, if this is something you crave FIGURE IT OUT. Here’s some off the cuff ideas for making TPE work.
Dealing with Others: Some might be down with the sub/slave kneeling at their Master’s feet while others might not be. Or the people in the relationship might not want to share such personal information with others. Some work arounds might be:*Put the 24/7 on hold until alone (though that can be jarring for everyone involved).*Find other ways to reinforce the dynamic. Many BDSM type interactions could be exchanged for something that passes as sweetness between couples.    *Changing the titles to endearments, instead of Master honey or sweetheart might work.        *Instead of kneeling at the Master’s feet maybe they choose/order the slave/sub’s meal. At a dinner party the sub could fill the Master’s plate with food.     *Perhaps instead of asking permission to eat/do X the sub might say “Mmmm, everything looks so good.” And the Master could reply, “Try the string beans they’re delicious.” > Gives permission as well as direction.    *Subtle requests could be done with a raised eyebrow, a hand squeeze, a touch… morph the typical couple’s signals into BDSM speak.
Micromanagement: As with any good job description there is a section of clear responsibilities. The more specific the sub/slave’s routine the better it is for all concerned. Remember there is always that phrase “And any other assigned duties” that gives wiggle room to add and refine.    
Bottom line if you want a total power exchange to work:1)    Discuss with full disclosure all of your needs, wants, misgivings2)    Creatively figure out how to overcome obstacles3)    Plan4)    Possibly run a trial period to work out (or in) the kinks. 5)    Have a contract6)    And don’t invalidate yourself if your TPE isn’t perfectly by someone else’s rules7)    Don’t be afraid to revisit the contract as people evolve and their needs change

Total Power Exchange is considered in Lock and Key.   BUY LINK

Always seek your own truth.
I’d love to hear from you so comment here or use the contact information to touch base with me privately.
Many hugs, Z. Allora

No outrage over gay actor playing a gender non-conforming role...

 First let me applaud the CW for having a gender non-conforming character in their new show (Glamorous) However, the CW cast an openly gay actor to play a gender non-conforming role. 
We' seen the outrage in the past people have lost it when a straight actor/actresses plays a gay character or a cisgender actor/actress plays a transgender character they should be consistent. Don't gender non-conforming people deserve the same standard? But I'm hearing silence... not outrage.I ask why not? Does the fact this actor is gay just automatically check the LGBTQIA+ box & cover CW's casting decision? 

What's the difference between a straight actor vs a gay actor playing a gender non-conforming part? Gay doesn't equal gender non-conforming anymore then cisgender = transgender.
For me personally as a nonbinary of the transmascine variety: I'm thrilled to see a character who is at least voicing one perspective of the gender non-conforming experience I'm not going to bitch about whose going to play the person.
>>> Though I'm not a gender non-conforming actor/actress looking for work with so few gender non-conforming roles<<<
Again for me: I almost see this as part of the road to visibility. A necessary part of the journey of having more gender non-conforming understanding. Having more nonbinary and gender non-conforming roles in movies/books/tv help people to understand what it means.
So I'll remain thrilled this is happening! I WANT MORE! If I can get more nonbinary and gender non-conforming actors/actresses/people to play these roles AWESOME! Here's a video on gender non-conformity. (Remember it's only how one kid expresses it... it's not the only way.)   Hugs, Z. 

BDSM as a Cure

Cue the eye roll... Stay with me, Pretty Ones
BDSM DOESN’T CURE EVERYTHING, BUT IT DOES HAVE BENEFITS THAT CAN PROMOTE HEALING.

(As always, results will vary based on individual differences)

1) BDSM as a break. There’s no thinking/worrying/obsessing when you hit deep subspace. You’re completely in the moment. At times, it can be an almost meditative state (comparable to yoga). Top space/subspace—or “the flow” as some refer to it—reduces stress hormones. The mental break can sometimes help you find a solution or new perspective just by focusing on BDSM.
2) AttentionHaving someone truly hear and see you is incredible. I’d bet most of us can remember when we didn’t get the attention we craved from a parent, friend, teacher, lover, etc. Not a big deal, right? Sometimes, it can leave scars that even we don’t attend to and it can affect our self-esteem, how we interact with others, how we trust, etc. BDSM steps in and provides attention. Both the sub and the Dom(s) are focused on each other. The rest of the world fades away.
3)Acknowledging the HurtI’m going to quote Ani who wrote these words in How BDSM Heals My Childhood Wounds: “When someone hurts me (during a scene), they acknowledge that they are hurting me. They want to hurt me. And they know that I am hurting, because I am moaning or screaming or begging them to stop. And they tell me that they know it hurts. And there is something healing to that, this witnessing of my pain, even as they are causing it. There’s a shared knowledge, a secret covenant, between sadist and masochist: ‘I will hurt you. You will suffer for me. In exchange, I will see your pain and guide you through it. I will help you transcend it.’” (How BDSM Heals My Childhood Wounds Posted by Ani | Dec 29, 2016 | Kink  Link: http://www.thestoryofa.com/bdsm-heals-childhood-wounds)
Maybe it’s because I’m in edits, but her words remind me of a romance arc: the characters meet, spend time together, go through some trauma/drama, and emerge on the other side stronger for the journey. Reading about a characters overcoming obstacles and triumphing reassures us, gives us hope, helps us think beyond our current issues to a happily ever after.
 
4) BDSM can release endorphins. Endorphins regulate pain, stress, and cravings. >>> In Secured and Free, Marcus uses a bit of torment to help Orion through his anxiety over even discussing BDSM. One of the ways to get through anxiety is alternate stimulation.
Excerpt from Secured and Free Marcus’s Cock Therapy: (Orion is shying away from communicating with his Doms because he sees it as topping from the bottom.)“I consider it more like communication.” Hunt was firm, but Orion shook his head as if he missed the point.
“Sexy one, Hunter’s all that, but he’s not infallible. No Dom is.” Why did Marcus feel like he was telling a kid the Easter Bunny wasn’t real? Marcus slid his finger around the crown of Orion’s cock in compensation for the loss.
“Oh God! Marcus!” Orion’s head hit the back of the sofa.
Marcus spread the wetness from the tip all over Orion’s cock. “God Marcus... that has a ring to it.”
He could be developing the first ever cock therapy. Imagine all the difficult issues people could deal with as he tormented their dicks. Nah, he liked the two dicks he had to tease.
5) BDSM strengthens bonds between couples. There was a study published a few years ago that suggested BDSM couples “felt more secure in their relationships and had an increased sense of well-being. They were more conscientious toward others, more extraverted, more open to trying new experiences, had decreased anxiety, and were less sensitive to others’ perceptions. Interestingly, they were also more aware of their own sexual needs ….” ((http://sexualhealth.about.com/od/sext...))


 I do believe the trope of BDSM healing is based in reality (at least in my experience).

In Secured and Free, during a sub meeting, a member explains how the use of a bracelet that can be turned into cuffs is helping her deal with her extreme shyness.


This is a simple bracelet... but for someone with anxiety, it can remind them of the calm they experience when secured with rope as well as grant some of the benefits BDSM has been shown to give.




And if the bracelet isn’t enough of a reminder, they open up into sturdy cuffs.
They come in various colors and designs. I worked with a charming man who custom made these for me. His website is: Leather Wood Studios
This is an excerpt from Secured and Free’s sub meeting. Orion has given up on BDSM. A violation stole the trust he needed to have to do a scene. After meeting Hunter and Marcus, Orion longs to find a way back to BDSM...

Excerpt from Secured and Free: Circling the room before taking his seat, Zack said, “I’d like to invite Erin to share.”
“Erin’s here?” “Erin’s going to speak?” and variations on the question made its way around the room. Applause broke out when she took the floor.
She grinned. “Yes, Erin is here, and I wanted to share.” Erin, a collared submissive who Orion rarely heard speak above a whisper and who usually hid behind her wealth of red hair, had more confidence than he remembered.
Erin rubbed two fingers across a red leather bracelet decorated with a grouping of three black hearts. “Most of you know about my severe anxiety.”
Her anxiety kept her out of most play parties, sub meetings, and demonstrations because she couldn’t handle the stimulation of a crowd. Seeing her stand and speak to about fifty subs in attendance was nothing short of miraculous.
Throwing her wavy hair over her shoulders, she said, “I don’t think I’ve found a cure for anxiety or anything, but I found assistance.”
Most subs leaned forward.
She held out her braceleted wrist. “This is my secret weapon.” Ross squinted. “A bracelet? It’s pretty and all, but—”

“It’s actually cuffs.” She stepped over to Zack. “Would you please?”
 “Of course.” Zack unsnapped the leather, opened the bracelet into two bands of leather, and then resnapped the circles so a loop wrapped around each wrist.
Erin held up her hands, which were now cuffed, and tugged. “Now I know everyone views things differently. Some people see bondage as....”
“Sexy and hot.” “Punishment,” a newbie called out. “Allowing the sub’s beauty to be displayed, and a way of creating living art,” Zack, who was one of the best in Japanese erotic bondage, added.
Erin nodded. “It’s different for everyone. For me, when my Mistress and Master put me in bondage, it’s like a day at the spa.”
Orion blocked out the envy and the wishes of his rope-laden fantasies. He’d heard tales of Hunter’s prowess with suspension work. Oh, the positions—stop!
He refocused on Erin. “As soon as the ropes start to wrap around me, I relax. I trust Mistress Jess and Master Ralph will take care of everything, and I can just be.”
Sam grinned. “So how does the magic bracelet work?”
Erin giggled. “It’s not magic, but wearing it allows me to access a bit of that calm I experience when in bondage. Each morning my Mistress and Master will call me over to them and put the bracelet on me. They both tell me to remember I’m loved and safe.” She shrugged. “I’ve been able to do more and more stuff that my anxiety used to stop me from doing.”
“The bracelet puts you in subspace?” Sam asked.
Orion had gotten tiny tastes of subspace while having Hunter and Marcus sex him up.
“Um... not really... maybe.... It lets me remember that heavenly place and gives me a relaxed feeling. Even though I’m still nervous standing here. Talking to a group was never something I’d have done ever before.”
By the way, I used this bracelet at the Denver GRL. I’m terrified of talking in front of a large group of people, so between the legal pot and the bracelet I was able to sit there and not flee. Erin had more success than I did but I was able to survive it. (Though a number of people asked what was going on because I was twisting the bracelet. I was desperate for it to be tighter and to hurt… no worries, no more panels for me!)

Entwined Dreams: Book Two An abusive Dom robbed Orion Gordon of his love of BDSM, destroying his confidence and leaving him unsure he’ll ever find peace through submission to another. Still, deep inside, his longing continues. 
Marcus Sadir loves Hunter Dixon, yet can’t be the one thing Hunter truly desires: a sub to control. And Hunter can’t find satisfaction in the sadistic aspects of the BDSM lifestyle, while Marcus thrives on inflicting and sharing pain. When Marcus convinces Hunter they should find a third on a permanent basis, they discover Orion might be the key to bridging their differences and joining them on a deeper level. 
But they must help Orion move past his trauma enough for him to enjoy new facets of BDSM and kink again. Their journey toward becoming whole—together—won’t be without challenges. Can Orion trust enough to try again?

BUY LINKS: EbookPaper

Many people take issue with the idea BDSM can heal.That’s fine… for some people, maybe it can’t assist them, but I’ve used aspects of BDSM in my life and have found it makes me happier and healthier. Did it solve my problems? No, but the practice gave me a break from anxiety, and in some cases the courage and strength to deal with issues in a more productive way. Again, everyone’s different.Many Hugs,
Z. Allora
Always Seek Your Own Truth
To contact Z. Allora: E-mail: Z.AlloraHappyEndings@gmail.com FACEBOOK :   Z Allora AlloraWebsite: www.zallorabooks.com Twitter: @ZAlloraBlog: http://zallora.blogspot.comDreamspinner: https://bit.ly/2Jv14r1
BIO: Z. Allora believes in happily ever after for everyone. She met her own true love through the personals and has traveled to over thirty countries with him. She’s lived in Singapore, Israel and China. Now back home to the USA she’s an active member of PFLAG and a strong supporter of those on the rainbow in her community. She wants to promote understanding and acceptance through her actions and words. Writing rainbow romance allows her the opportunity to open hearts and change minds.

The Penis Festival

In Kawaski, Japan I attended the 2019 the Shinto Kanamara Matsuri or the Festival of the Steel Phallus. The ceremony takes place at Kanayama Shrine each spring usually the 1st Sunday in April.

I'm a bit of a planner so we got the area the day before the celebration officially began. It was the best thing EVER! We were able to see and appreciate the tiny shrine without the hordes of people.
Here's some pictures of the shrines outer buildings.


The ceiling of one of the outdoor the shrines
Close up the ceiling (didn't want you to miss it)
More ceiling On the wall



On the Shrine beams
On the Walls
Prayer plaques with hand drawn artHow did all this get started?
"The legend being that a jealous sharp-toothed demon hid inside the vagina of a young woman the demon fell in love with and bit off penises of two young men on their wedding nights.[6] After that the woman sought help from a blacksmith, who fashioned an iron phallus to break the demon's teeth, which led to the enshrinement of the item.[7] This legend in Ainu language was published as "The Island of Women" by Basil Hall Chamberlain" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanamar...)

Here's the iron phallus that defeated the demon. 

 
"The Kanayama Shrine was popular among prostitutes who wished to pray for protection from sexually transmitted infections.[9]
It is also said the shrine offers divine protections for business prosperity, and for the clan's prosperity; and for easy delivery, marriage, and married-couple harmony.[ citation needed ]
The festival started in 1969.[10] Today, the festival has become something of a tourist attraction and is used to raise money for HIV research."[11]"  (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanamara_Matsuri)

Part of the parade
Treats sold in the shops along the path to the Temple More shopping
Shopping on the Shrine grounds prior to claiming my place We got there at 830am. The parade was due to start at 1130pm. By 9:15 they roped off the Shrine grounds and people could wait outside. There were thousands of people gathered to celebrate.
Two of the Priestesses in training
The Priest after he blessed the floats & the carriers

Cause everyone needs something to suck on...


Me & a lovely man from San Fran Fashion
Before a million people came... (pun intended cause this is me and I am obligated!)
So if you happen to be in Japan the first Sunday of April (which usually means cherry blossoms) you might want to celebrate.

Many hugs, Z.

Shibari Do's and Don'ts

Beginners Guide to Rope Bondage from UberKinkygives a concise list of the things to do and the things not to do. (As with any list it doesn’t cover every person or situation. Always be aware of individual differences and those must be considered.)
Do Expand pressure points by using multiple coils (wraps) Make sure coils are side by side; never cross the ropePractice tying and untying knots beforehandApply warmth after scene to get the blood flowingDiscuss boundaries and decide on a safe word/action Stop immediately if the bottom experiences pain or signs of circulatory problemsRemove restraints carefully to prevent rope burnHave a pair of blunt scissors handy. Ideally, they should be angled like EMT scissors
Don't Tie knots too tightly; follow the finger rule and allow additional space around the rib cage Leave a bound bottom unattended Attempt suspension bondage without proper trainingUse a gag, unless a safe action has been decided uponEngage in rope bondage if the bottom has a heart/respiratory/circulatory condition Play in the dark – the bottom needs to be watched overUse a slip style knot around the neck, or restrict breathing in any way
This information can be found here: https://www.uberkinky.co.uk/essential-guides/restraint-guides/beginners-guide-to-rope-bondage.html

What rope should I use?
A question that will usually get you the frustrating answer of: It depends.
Why? Because it does.
Every scene has a different set of factors and goals, add in each individual’s needs, limitations, experience level… you get the picture on why it depends really is the most responsible answer.
In order to do a quick rundown of some different types of rope available, I’m going to sum up an article Bondage Rope: What Kind of Rope Is Best for Bondage? posted On the Bondage Connection by Pete Riggs published on July 24,2015. (I’m using a basic article to sum up the rope types because I went through this process decades ago so ruled out things and evolved to address where I am now >>> I don’t want to affect your decision based on my filter and I’m here to explore not prescribe > only the people involved have the details to get the knowledge they need to make the right decisions for them.)
Types of Rope Available 
CottonPros: Cheap, knots hold well, washable, strong, lightweightCons: Knots hold tight so untying is slow. (Tend not to be use for suspension work)
Hemp Pros: Favored for Shibari, very strong, good in suspension work, strong tooth (holds in place), look beautiful, various textures (soft or scratchy).Cons: Can be pricey, find a trusted manufacturer or deal with shedding fibers.
JutePros: Favorite with Shibari masters, lays well but it is less flexible, good for hitches and suspension work, durable, gets better with use. Cons: Expensive, can cause friction burn if you work too fast with it.
Polypropylene with core intact Polypropylene Webbing (core removed)Pros: Almost no tooth (= much less friction) which allows a skilled rigger/Rope Master to untie quick without much fear of friction burn, light weight, easy to untie, prettier knots that sit flatter on skin (especially if you remove the core) which means the pressure is more diffused, and it’s washable.Cons: Can melt with heat so might need to avoid using wax with this type of rope. Can’t use slipknots, less tooth so can’t depend on the rope tension to hold weight.
NylonPros: Different kinds of rope marks (what’s left after removal by the lines and knots), strong, flexible, soft, washable.Cons: Expensive and not recommended for Shibari
((https://www.ropeconnections.com/kind-...))

START SLOW. Remember you LEARNED to drive a car you didn’t jump in and drive off. PLEASE use the same respect with this practice. (BTW some of the best Rope Masters out there will say they practice Shibari because they constantly strive to improve and expand their knowledge).
Shibari and any rope play can be an incredible experience. Individual differences and preferences may apply. Please play with someone who is experienced, or take a class, watch videos, go to demonstrations, ask questions of people you trust. And because you know I’m paranoid I beg you to please take a look at this website (and others) about injuries:  https://www.shibariclasses.com/courses/shibari_1/lectures/110914

Keep in mind your needs/limits/life/physical body may change meaning you should revisit your choices (in every aspect of BDSM) on a regular basis.
Have fun and be safe!
Always seek your own truth.
I’d love to hear from you so comment here or use the contact information to touch base with me privately.
Many hugs, Z. Allora



To contact Z. Allora: E-mail: Z.AlloraHappyEndings@gmail.com FACEBOOK :   Z Allora AlloraWebsite: www.zallorabooks.com Twitter: @ZAlloraBlog: http://zallora.blogspot.comDreamspinner: https://bit.ly/2Jv14r1
BIO: Z. Allora believes in happily ever after for everyone. She met her own true love through the personals and has traveled to over thirty countries with him. She’s lived in Singapore, Israel and China. Now back home to the USA she’s an active member of PFLAG and a strong supporter of those on the rainbow in her community. She wants to promote understanding and acceptance through her actions and words. Writing rainbow romance allows her the opportunity to open hearts and change minds.

Traveling and Trips RESEACH before you go! (& my Japan Itinerary)

1)    Figure out what do YOU want to see? I usually do this by finding out what are the top tourist destinations & then adjust it to what I like. Then I look for off the beaten path (museums, animals, shopping, shows, experiences & food) I develop an A-list (must do’s), a B-list for if there’s time and I’m ready to be flexible based on weather. (Okay I also have a C & D-list but I’m a bit special with my anxiety of missing something.)
2)    Get your phone a SIM card at the airport or look into ways of getting WIFI (portable devices). It makes getting around easier (Google maps tells you not only driving directions but which trains & buses)
3)    Figure out if you need the train pass getting it while you’re in your country is cheaper. If a 21 day pass for JR Line (includes most of where our travels take us is $750 if I were to purchase separate tix in Japan it would be 3x the cost.)
4)    Timing: Only plan for 4-6 hours of planned activities for each day because things happen when you are traveling. You may find a wonderful something and you want time to explore or experience the unexpected. This way you can get lost and enjoy without rushing. Those are some of the best experiences. Plus down time keeps you sane so you can remain stable and rested for you can truly have a lovely time.
5)    Shit happens. It SUCKS! You’ve paid a lot of money for the vacation and you want to enjoy every second of it. Unfortunately, life happens and all you can do is make the best of it and find the joy in the unexpected and if nothing else your misery will make a great story. (While it’s happening, I envision the creative way I will explain the fuckery.)
6)    Being prepared for some of the what if’s can help avoid some of the downsides. Find out what they are ahead of time. (Ex. I knew Cambodia’s sun would be brutal from 1130 to 330… we arranged are exploring to pre-dawn and were having breakfast by 1030am, spent lovely afternoons in bed or swimming in a shaded pool and would go out at 330 until twilight. It was rather magical.)
7)    Getting your ass out of bed. There’s a reason it’s crowded by late morning that’s when everyone does things… get up and get there early. You’re experience will be so much richer. BTW you’re already jetlag so use it to your advance.
8)    Find happiness in the experience
9) Download google translate and make a basic list of words to practice (please, thank you, hello, where's the bathroom, excuse me) and make a favorite list of words of other things related to food, medical, clothing, questions, etc.
10) Make sure to have a taxi card of the hotel.
11) Have copies of your passport and leave one with a friend who can fax it if need be.  
12) Use basic safety: money in two places, lock your valuables in a safe at the hotel, etc.

This is my itinerary.  We've been 2x to Japan before for business trips with long weekends but this is the 1st time we're going for 21 days for just pleasure!
Tokyo: Staying right in Ikebujuro (Staying for 8 days & back for a day at the very end of the trip) Centurion Hotel Ikebujuro *Animate & Otome Road (Yaoi Central)*Ikebujuro District *Tsukiji Fish Market*The Pokemon Center*Harajuku District (*Takeshita- cosplay & boutique Takeshita distinct btw Meiji-dori & Harajuka on Sundays) *The Robot Restaurant: (http://www.shinjuku-robot.com/pc/?lng=en)*Japanese Folk Crafts Museum* Tokyo National Museum (maybe if time)*Purkura (print club funny photo shots)*Japanese Sword Museum *Shinjuku= neon lights*Shibuya Scramble = crosswalk of 3,000 people every light Cafes : *The Butler’s Café = Ikebukuro Boys Love Academy (in Japanese 池袋男子 BL 学園 Ikebukuro Danshi BL Gakuen or even shorter called Ike-Gaku) *The Owl Café*Akiba Fukurou Owl Cafe*Ikebukuro Cafe*Cafe Baron*Tori no Iru Cafe*Uobei: High-Speed Sushi*The Vampire Café*Harry: Hedgehog Cafe*Kawaii Monster Cafe
PENIS FESTIVAL 1.5 days(Hotel within walking distance of the festival... we'll be there extremely early cause I don't want them to run out of penises... you know you've got to be careful of such things! LOL)
Karatsu:Yuri On Ice 2 daysScott found a chef who LOVES Yuri on Ice who hopefully we'll get reservations at his restaurant (this is our one big expensive meal... this fan has a Michelin Star!!! Which I find fantastic and crazy because he gives you baskets of plushies to decorate your placemat with LOLOL) We have an actual guide to ensure we find all the places they show in the anime (shopping arcade, the onsen, restaurants, etc.) The town is on the beach so that should be relaxing & there's this weird creepy black tree forest right next to our hotel that we want to see. (Who knew… I did cause I stalked the hell out of the location.
Kyoto: 6 days *Kyoto Handicraft Center *Arashiyama (Bamboo forest) & Iwatayama Monkey Park (on Mt. Arashiyama) near Otagi Nenbutsuji Temple *Kiyomizu-dera  (Temple on the Mountain) (6a-6p) ((Lit in evenings during cherry blossom)*Sanjusangen-do (Temple 1001 life-sized Goddess Kannon statues)*Kinkaku-ji*Gion*Philosopher’s Path Nishiki Market (food hall) Aritsugu=knife shop & Zohiko=lacquer wareHigashi Honganji (whimsical dragon fountains) (maybe)Kyoto International Museum (maybe)Eating:*Pontocho Alley for dinners*Kaboku TearoomSide trip to Nara for the deer park & temples
Osaka:1 day & overnightDotonbori: neon nightlife Osaka Castle Tenjimbashisuji Shopping Street
Back to Tokyo for the final evening.
At the time of this post hopefully we'll be returning from an amazing trip or I'll have lots of terrible stories to tell in creative ways. 

Shibari to Tie

History of Shibari Shibari is the Japanese word that means “to tie.” Originally, the rope bondage was simply a way to restrain a captive. In the 1400’s to the 1700’s, the Samurai Code of Conduct required they treated their captives well. The higher to status of the prisoner the more intricate the rope were tied, so even while the knots tormented the care in which the captives were tied showed respect.
In the late 19th century and early 20thcentury, Shibari morphed into Kinbaku . Kinbaku is the art of erotic bondage aka knots for love and sex. However, in the West we tend to just called the practice Shibari and it’s no longer considered part of the martial arts.
I like this analogy about bondage: A rope master in the art of Shibari uses the ropes as paint and the person/model/sub they are tying is the canvas the master creates something beautiful, and erotic.
Shibari to HeavenAs with many BDSM practices, Shibari increases endorphins and hormones which can push the person into subspace or topspace.
Path to Sub space: Having someone you trust enough to incapacitate you is a mindfuck. You’re handing over everything to another. Once your mind accepts your trust was well-place the ropes begin to work on easing you or cranking you up depending on your individual reaction.
The pattern of rope wraps and knots stimulate pressure points which can be amazing (or could lead to possible nerve damage >>> which is why I CONSTANTLY beat the drum of SAFETY 1st& ALWAYS!)
Some people liken Shibari to Shiatsu (type of Japanese massage) or acupuncture which helps the tied person’s energy flow. Suspension can be added which increases the pressure put on each knot and tie which can intensify the experience. Also adds to the feeling of helplessness. The subspace that can be found is sublime.
Road to Top Space: Another person/sub/bottom is entrusting their entire being to you. They are allowing you to restrict and, in some cases, even take away their ability to move. They trust you will honor their safeword, help them escape if need be and to provide aftercare so their landing back to earth is soft.
With the ropes you can stimulate both pleasure and pain making those sensation mix together feeding your Dommy inner sadist. Making a sub crave pain can be an incredible rush of power. Not only is another dependent on you for their pleasure or pain but for their safety. Definitely fulfills one’s need to control.
Entwined Dreams: Book Two
An abusive Dom robbed Orion Gordon of his love of BDSM, destroying his confidence and leaving him unsure he’ll ever find peace through submission to another. Still, deep inside, his longing continues.
Marcus Sadir loves Hunter Dixon, yet can’t be the one thing Hunter truly desires: a sub to control. And Hunter can’t find satisfaction in the sadistic aspects of the BDSM lifestyle, while Marcus thrives on inflicting and sharing pain. When Marcus convinces Hunter they should find a third on a permanent basis, they discover Orion might be the key to bridging their differences and joining them on a deeper level.
But they must help Orion move past his trauma enough for him to enjoy new facets of BDSM and kink again. Their journey toward becoming whole—together—won’t be without challenges. Can Orion trust enough to try again?

BUY LINKS: Dreamspinner PressAmazonKoBo Barnes& Noble GooglePlayShakespeare & Sons

Orgasm Delay, Denial and Edging

What’s the allure of NOT coming? Ever go on a diet? All of a sudden, you are craving everything you shouldn’t have. For many, the concept works the same way with orgasm denial. If you’re told not to come, all you want to do is come. Some subs become consumed with the idea. Their entire world can shrink down to notdoing exactly what they want to do. It also might get some into subspace quicker.
Why do it?*GiftYour orgasm is something you can give to your Dom(s).
*Mind FuckIt’s a predicament: the sub is gagging to orgasm but doesn’t because they want to follow the Dom’s instructions, to willingly make the sacrifice. The choice to participate in denial is done of the sub’s free will (during negotiations) and it can cause much suffering, which can feed a masochistic need to give until it hurts.
*Part of PlayGames of control are easily played in this arena, and usually no equipment is involved. The intensity and level can be easy to extreme. Be mindful of what you are agreeing to, and always remember your safeword is there to save you from things beyond your limit.
*PleasureWhen it finally comes, the resulting orgasm can be intense and mind-blowing. Although, depending on the sub, it might be weak and unsatisfying, especially if their mind didn’t adjust to the idea it was okay to orgasm. Their body came, but their head couldn’t experience it as pleasure, making it more of a ruined orgasm. Or, in a sadistic relationship, it would be easy to ruin that orgasm by removing stimulation so all the buildup results in crossed messages and the sub’s body doesn’t process the pleasure.
*Lots of other reasonsAs usual, this is not an exhaustive list. The reasons to participate can vary, might be a combination of facts, and can change over time.
EdgingThe sub is denied permission to come but either stimulates themselves or their Master(s) do. The object of edging is to get to the razor’s edge of orgasm and then pull back. Stepping back from the pleasure can be extremely difficult, especially when everything in the sub’s body wants to orgasm. Edging can easily be used in sub assignments or control games.
Some subs can transfer their ecstasy from the craving an orgasm to not having an actual release. The following of instructions and pleasing their Master(s) supersede their transitory moment of physical bliss.
Orgasm DelayDepending on the sub’s negotiated limits, this is a scene that can last for minutes, hours, or days and then possibly end in orgasm.
Orgasm DenialThis is more often days or weeks… and in some cases, months. (Of course, there are the stories of denial lasting years and ever forever… but those would be rather rare.)
Chastity BeltsThere’s a variety of devices out in the world to help prevent orgasm.
If you use chastity devices, please make sure you have a plan to deal with hygienic issues. Not having access to your body can lead to major health risks. You must read and study so you aren’t harmed.
You have to know and trust your keyholder. Have an extra key (or six) in case of accidents and medical emergencies. (I hear the gasps and the murmuring that having a key defeats the purpose… I will always land on the side of safety.)
All this being said, accidental and on purpose orgasms can happen while in chastity. One only has to look on the Internet to see subs outsmarting chastity belts with vibrators, penetration, or various other techniques. If the sub is asked to edge they can slip over without meaning to do so. Some Masters will milk the prostate of male subs, which is a way of releasing the buildup of fluid but gives little or no pleasure. Female subs may be a bit more of a challenge. As a number of my readers and myself can attest, they may struggle with hands-free orgasms.

TriggersSomehow, there’s a general belief that all subs can and want to give their pleasure to their Master(s). This seems to be the first unwritten rule of BDSM. Perhaps for some it is, but not all subs can participate in it. There might be baggage that can restrict the sub’s freedom to hand themselves over in this way. These limits should be respected, discussed, and the subs should not be shamed for this limitation.
Remember, limits are opportunities for the Dom to become more creative.
This is one of the reasons I call myself a broken loveslave. As intriguing as orgasm delay/denial appears, this is a hard limit of mine after a rather terrible experience. If a scene involves sex, fuck anyone who thinks I shouldn’t be allowed to orgasm. Sexual assault plays a part in my damage, but when you are speaking to other subs, don’t make assumptions that the answer is simply they should just try harder to be more submissive. The baggage they are saddled with may have nothing to do with submission.
The other side of orgasm denial is forced orgasm. In Lock and Key , the Master does a forced orgasm scene where he takes the sub well beyond his endurance for pleasure.
But since this blog is about orgasm denial, I wanted to share an orgasm denial scene in Lock and Key. Zack is a sub who has loved Andrew (Master Drew) for years. This scene takes place during the weekend Andrew has won Zack in the audition for Are you Dom enough to be a sub? (This is the last scene during that weekend.)
Please enjoy the excerpt from Lock and Key:
“Oh God!” Fuck! Why had he chosen to explore orgasm denial? He could have picked anything else. But no, this insane, desperate hell was his own damned creation. He loved the feeling of dying to orgasm... as he had for hours... days... forever. Even during his rest periods, he was tormented with dreams when he escaped into sleep. Visions of being collared by Master Drew, being fucked on stage at Entwined for all to see, and hot vanilla sex, dipped in love, filled his head. Sometime in the middle of the night—or was it day, impossible to tell with Drew’s blackout curtains—a friendly hand teased Zack. The quiet manipulation left him breathless and panting but without satisfaction. He shuddered, frantic for relief. His Master had dragged him to the precipice where each stroke made him dance maddeningly close to giving up and letting go. His Master’s knowledge of his body was once again used against him as the fist tightened and set up a rhythm to bring him off. Shit! God, why did Master Drew have to stroke him perfectly? The speed increased by a fraction.
Fuck! Zack might have been tempted not to confess the orgasm he edged. All he needed to do was remain silent, and he could so easily slip over into the bliss that beckoned him. But deep inside, even more than the transcendent feeling of orgasm, it was vitally important to him to be Drew’s perfect sub. That accomplishment meant more to him than any release. Kneel. Serve. His. Fuck! He tightened his grip on the damp sheets. When the weekend ended, Zack wanted to be the one Drew would regret never having again. He choked out the words through a groan. “Close. Um, oh so close.” The delicious pressure vanished, leaving his cock to pulsate in the cool air. Was this the eighth time or eightieth? Zack had lost track of the number of orgasms he hadn’t been allowed to have.
“Such a good pet,” Master Drew purred to him as he traced his hands down Zack’s quivering body.
He tried to speak, but only a whimper came out.
His Master licked the palm of his hand and traced wetness over the length of Zack’s cock. When he reached the tip, he pressed the shaft down, stretching Zack’s cock toward his thighs. The turgid member held there, pointing at his toes for a moment before Master Drew released the staff and allowed the length to snap up, slapping Zack in the lower belly. “Oh.” Zack breathed out a groan at the tingling. He was in the zone. Every sensation his Master gave him became a precious gift he wanted to savor. His Master danced his fingers along Zack’s body to stroke his face. Drew pressed a soft kiss on Zack’s lips, which made his heart sing. “You love this, don’t you, pet?” Yes. No. Zack managed an affirmative grunt. Master Drew wrapped his hand around Zack’s cock and pulled upward on the shaft. “Can you answer me, pet?” Oh fuck! He did adore the overwhelming feeling and unidentified emotions. Totally focused on his body, finding words to answer the question proved difficult. He wanted to suffer for Drew and prove himself worthy of being Drew’s. Master Drew tipped a bottle of oil over his cock. Zack held his breath as the line of lubricant hit his oversensitive flesh, making him keen with tormented pleasure as the liquid slid down his shaft. The sensation was almost enough to make him come, and then Master Drew massaged the oil all over to force Zack even closer to the edge. His cock dripped with the glistening substance. Master Drew cupped Zack’s full balls and squeezed.
Mmmm.
His Master pulled his sac down and held him. Any stimulation was amplified. Zack shook his head to deny the irresistible pleasure trying to defeat him. No! Oh God. No! His Master’s fist glided up and down, easier with the lubricant. Resistance to his ministrations was futile. The pressure increased slightly, pushing the stimulation closer to the threshold of pain. “Answer.” The clipped word demanded Zack’s attention and respect as his Master tightened his grip. Answer? Answer what? Oh, he’d asked something. Zack forced past the torturous stimulation in order to obey his Master’s command. What was the question he asked? Oh yeah: You love this? The answer was easy. “Yes, Master Drew. I love....” A groan prevented him from answering completely. Thank God! To admit such a bold truth would surely make any sense of normalcy in their future impossible. He wouldn’t share how deep his affection ran or he’d push Drew away completely. Zack panicked and changed his words to something completely obvious. “I love what you’re doing to me.” The squeezing discomfort ended, and a loving stroke was given to his cock. Zack’s mind and body responded to the simple black-and- white world of reward and consequence. If he succeeded in his task, he’d be rewarded, so it stood to reason if his attempt failed, he would be punished. Although Master Drew enjoyed blurring the lines, punishment became pleasure and reward a torment. Trust was the only thing Zack could do. Kneel. Serve... his. Zack panted as Master Drew pumped him slowly from the root to the tip of his erection. “You love it but at the same time hate it. You want me to stop?” Stop? Yes! No! He’d die if his Master didn’t continue. Zack tried to thrust up against the maddening ecstasy and torture to get a little more of the friction he craved. Not enough! More! Never enough! Ropes held him in place, however. He was grateful Master Drew made him secure against Zack’s own selfish actions. His Master helped him succeed in achieving his gift of submission. It was a deceptively simple bondage structure but completely effective. His thighs and above his elbows were wrapped with three inches of cotton bands. The bands were attached to a lead of rope that disappeared under the bed, secured to his other side. There was only enough play in the rope to allow him to squirm. “Don’t stop, Master” sounded more like a sob than a response. Master Drew wrapped one hand around Zack’s balls and tugged them lightly while teasing around the crown of Zack’s penis with the fingertips from his other hand. Zack leaked so much precome he didn’t know what he was wetter from, the lubricant or his own fluids. His Master’s attention to his body couldn’t have been more complete. He rubbed each droplet of fluid exiting his slit along Zack’s flesh.
When Master Drew wrapped his fist around Zack’s erection again, he almost shouted his demand to orgasm. The strokes started out light and unhurried. The caresses built up in strength and speed. He was paralyzed; all he could do was lay there and endure for his Master. Trust. Serve. His. He was there as a toy to be played with or ignored as Master Drew deemed fit. Surrender. Trust. His. “That’s right, my little sub. Relinquish your control. Believe in me to give you what you need. You’re doing well,” his Master praised him. His. Submit. Always. Zack no longer struggled against achieving his own satisfaction. He’d given Master Drew everything he had and everything he was. His Master gave him a deep, approving growl. “That’s right. Surrender to me, my pet. Just be.” The cadence of his Master’s words was hypnotic. The request was a balm soothing Zack’s soul. He’d wanted this for so long, and he could do nothing but grab his submissiveness with two hands and see where this ended. His needs didn’t vanish, but they were reorganized into the background as he flew higher than he’d ever imagined possible. Physical desire mounted in Zack, but he separated from the excitement to focus on his Master’s actions. He’d do his Master’s bidding regardless of the toll it took on him. Zack required his Master to make him pay a price, to make his submission worthy of his Master. His balls constricted, and he tried to push the need to ejaculate away, but he couldn’t. He whined, hoping to be saved. “Master!” “Do not come.” The command brokered no room for confusion. The words froze Zack’s orgasm within his trembling body and stopped his imminent eruption. Master Drew didn’t give him any relief but tightened his grip, causing Zack to shake with the added tension. His cock jerked angrily at the denial as the strokes continued to force him to ride the razor’s edge. “You’re so good, Zack.” His Master sounded pleased with him and made the accomplishment worth the painful struggle. Sweat dripped off Zack’s body as he strained against his need. Master Drew stroked him at the perfect tempo as if he dared Zack to come. “Now, I’m going to pull out your plug, and I’m going to fuck myself inside of you until I come.” He wiped some of Zack’s sweaty hair out of his face. “Will you enjoy me taking my pleasure inside you?” Zack croaked out something he hoped might be passable for a yes. His Master stared down at him. “You won’t come. Understood?” Impossible! A whimper escaped as Zack contemplated the task in front of him. He squeezed his eyes shut for a brief moment. He wanted to please his Master, but his body didn’t seem up to the continued deprivation. He’d never attempted sex without orgasm. Was he capable of succeeding in this task? Failing his Master was unacceptable. Kneel. Serve. His. “Do you understand?” Zack recognized the concept, but setting it into practice was another matter. “Yes, Master.” Drew paused and smiled at him. He grabbed Zack’s hand and kissed the palm. “You’re incredible. You know that, right?” Zack’s love for Drew expanded the seams of his heart a bit more. He’d do anything asked of him. Drew caressed the side of Zack’s face and then slipped back into the Master role. He retied Zack’s legs with impressive efficiency so they were bent at the knees to accommodate having a pillow tucked under his ass. The angle put his opening in perfect position for Master Drew’s cock to enter him. The slick plug was twisted out of Zack’s ass, leaving behind an empty void. Master Drew rolled on a condom, traced a palm covered in lube over his jutting cock, and pushed into Zack. The head of Drew’s cock moved past the tight ring of muscles on a slow glide until Zack was full of his Master. “Yes.” Zack hissed at being filled. Joined. Connected. Heaven. At that moment, his orgasm no longer mattered. His whole being now focused on pleasing this man he loved. Master Drew trembled against him when he was fully seated. A zap of power coursed through Zack. He wanted to cause this magnificent, dominant man to lose his tightly held control. In. Out. In. Out. The rhythm remained leisurely, his Master’s breath was coming in pants, his eyes squeezed closed. Zack’s muscles strained with the lack of orgasm, but his mind rejoiced at having an opportunity to satisfy his Master. He dug his heels into the mattress to eliminate the give. He not only held still for his Master’s gratification, but he thrust as much as the ropes allowed, helping his Master achieve greater heights. Master Drew’s eyes widened as he sighed with appreciation of the unrequested change. Zack was probably topping from the bottom, but he wanted his Master to feel as good as he did. He squeezed his ass muscles. Drew gasped out a moan. His name fell from Master Drew’s lips like an accusation and exaltation all at once. Zack throbbed for release. His total concentration was on bringing his Master to orgasm. Master Drew gripped Zack’s thighs as he sped up his thrusts. He continued to welcome his Master’s invading cock, as much as being tied down granted. The angle was perfect for hitting him in exactly the right spot. He could have easily enjoyed a powerful hands- free orgasm, but Zack wouldn’t fail. No. Zack pushed away his need and focused on Master Drew’s impending climax. Again and again his Master thrust into him and withdrew. He leaned down to crash against Zack’s lips to claim a hard, passionate kiss. Drew snapped his hips forward and back, continuing to fuck Zack hard and fast. Master Drew’s grunts turned into a long groan, and he held himself deep inside of Zack. A thrill raced through Zack when he imagined he felt the heat fill the condom. When the peak of his orgasm passed, Master Drew fucked into Zack to extend the last few seconds of bliss. His Master collapsed on top of him, pinning Zack’s aroused cock down to his stomach. The pressure was delicious. His cock was positioned in a way that if he rocked a little, he’d be capable of climax. Don’t come. Don’t come. Don’t come. His body trembled with his pent-up lust. He remained still, awaiting permission, concentrating on the feeling of his neck being nibbled and teased. His Master pulled his head back to smile down at Zack, causing butterflies to dance and flutter about. “Your restraint was admirable.” Master stroked Zack’s wet hair off his neck and face. “You need beautifully.” Tears pricked the back of his eyes. Fuck, Zack’s control over his emotions vanished with a few choice words of praise. “Thank you, Master.” “Shall I untie you?” Master Drew slid out of him and tossed the condom into the waste bin near the bed. Disappointment washed over him. Was the scene over? Was Master Drew going to make him continue to experience orgasm denial? He quivered with the concept. What had seemed like a very exciting idea hours ago sucked in his current reality. Zack decided he rather liked orgasm delay, but orgasm denial, not so much. By Master Drew’s smirk, Zack realized his face broadcast his thoughts. “Or should I continue?” “Continue,” Zack blurted out. He quickly added, “Master.” Frankly, he didn’t care what Master Drew meant by continuing, just as long as he didn’t stop. He wasn’t ready to leave this place. “Zack, I’m thirsty.” What? Now? A stab of desire passed through him at the idea of tending to his Master’s simpler wants. Anything Drew needed, Zack wanted to provide. “Um, if you untie me, I can get you something.” Though bottles of water were in the mini fridge in a nightstand cabinet only a few feet away from the bed. A sexy smile crawled over his Master’s lips. “I need you to quench my thirst.” What? As the man slid down his body, he teased every part of Zack with his sexy slither. “I need to taste my pet’s completion.” “Oh.” The word squeaked out as if Zack had turned into a mouse. He only hoped his lust-addled brain was right about where his Master was going with this discussion. Drew dipped his dark head of perfectly styled hair toward Zack’s aroused cock. “You’ve done incredible today. You’ve earned the right to satisfy my need to drink you. Would you like to quench my thirst?” Zack’s cock was more than ready. “God, yeah. Please!” His Master grinned. “Yes, that’s what I want. I want you to beg me as I suck you off.” Hell yeah! He could do that. “Master Drew, please suck me off,” Zack choked out, totally ready for the sweetest death ever. “Try to hold back, so you can enjoy a little more buildup.” After saying that, he lowered his head and licked the trail of wetness that seeped from the tip of Zack’s cock. He backed off to add, “You’ve made me very happy. Come when you want, my sweet little sub.” My. Aw, that word touched Zack’s empty places inside and filled them. He’d made Drew happy. That’s all he’d ever wanted out of life. His cock pulsed, reminding him of something else he wanted at this moment. “Yessssss,” Zack hissed from a desperate place only hours of denial could locate. His Master covered Zack’s cock with his mouth. Slurping pulls of suction teased him. He slid his mouth farther down to envelop more of Zack’s shaft. Zack wanted to beg in a sexy way, but his brain was fried. His Master started bobbing his head with purpose. No matter how manfully Zack tried to hold out, he couldn’t stop the floodgates Drew opened with his sucking. “Please.” Zack’s arousal had built into an inferno that Drew had stoked and ignited countless times. This time Zack wasn’t going to be stopped. His Master was thirsty, and Zack’s duty was to quench his Master’s thirst. Zack reached for his climax. It was impossible to catch his breath as his balls drew up tighter. His core started to tingle. The trembling sensations radiated through his belly and thighs. The feeling no longer could be contained. Ecstasy chased up his body, and with thrusts of his hips, come shot out of his cock. Long waves of pleasure rocked him as his Master swallowed around him. Again and again his cock pulsated with spurts of his delayed climax that seemed to shake him forever. He lay there in a daze. Drew released the knots one at a time. The sliding of rope loosened up and freed Zack in a way he never wished to be liberated. He drank from the bottle of water his Master held for him. His Master. No never his. Zack closed his eyes as Drew wrapped the covers around him. Why couldn’t he stay here forever? He wanted to remain locked at Master Drew’s side. Their forever was about to end all too soon. This was only a fantasy, not a key to the future. 
BUY LINKS for Lock and Key:eBook: http://bit.ly/21doXpnPaperback: https://bit.ly/2PU7xm5

Always seek your own truth.
I’d love to hear from you so comment here or use the contact information to touch base with me privately.
Many hugs, Z. Allora
To contact Z. Allora: E-mail: Z.AlloraHappyEndings@gmail.com FACEBOOK :   Z Allora AlloraWebsite: www.zallorabooks.com Twitter: @ZAlloraBlog: http://zallora.blogspot.comDreamspinner: https://bit.ly/2Jv14r1
BIO: Z. Allora believes in happily ever after for everyone. She met her own true love through the personals and has traveled to over thirty countries with him. She’s lived in Singapore, Israel and China. Now back home to the USA she’s an active member of PFLAG and a strong supporter of those on the rainbow in her community. She wants to promote understanding and acceptance through her actions and words. Writing rainbow romance allows her the opportunity to open hearts and change minds.

Japan & Queer Manga

If you know me, you've heard me defend yaoi/bara/manga. Many people rail against the queerbaiting (the practice of hinting at a same sex romantic relationship but never showing it), non-consensual sex scenes (no, no, no, until YES now), "loving" rape, etc that can fill the pages giving people a twisted view of same sex relationships.

BUT: It many cases there are pages and pages of exploring feelings (previously) forbidden, readers finding out they are not alone in their desires, etc.

In the past, LGBTIA+ people were not discussed openly. That is changing now and I believe partly due to yaoi/bara/manga. Readers are being exposed to pictures and stories that light their imagine and explain some of the basics.

Recently, it's also changed dramatically. We are beginning to see middle stream manga with loving relationships that are simply in the background. (Can I hear a shout out for Yaoi On Ice?) But the same way allies/advocates aren't born with all the right words and phrases Japan (as is much of the rest of the world) are evolving in their understanding of LGBTIA+ and what that means for each individual.

Here's an article that leads to a documentary on an exploration of queer manga. (I haven't watched it yet but I'm looking forward to it). 

BUT before you go here's the link to my free Yaoified Love.






ON to the article! Hugs, Z.



Read Article

4 out of 5 men don't think mutual masturbation is a 'gay' act

Sometimes M/M romance is criticized for not being realistic.

How could a 'straight' man start a sexual relationship with another man?

Let's ignore that some men are bisexual & may not be aware of their orientation or demisexual - need a connection to experience attraction and maybe not be aware of it.

This article discusses a mindset not everyone is aware of... instead of summarizing I'm going to quote Joe Morgan.

"...to his surprise, he found 82% of 565 respondents said mutual masturbation isn’t gay.

For the second question, he also asked about various actions which ‘makes’ a man gay.

Most men then responded with ‘kissing another guy’ and ‘becoming emotionally involved with a male sex partner’.

‘According to these responders,’ Mustain wrote, ‘touching a cock isn’t gay; lips touching lips is gay; and for that matter, heart touching heart is really gay.’

He added: ‘It can be frustrating, seeing straight men debate the infinitesimal difference between touching your own cock and someone else’s, hearing each one hand-wring about “how far he’ll go,” and whether double penetration or using a Fleshlight on a friend is gay.’" (Gay News Dec. 18, 2018)


Read the article
So if this is the case > how unrealistic is it for some of these guys 'who have sex with men' to develop feelings?
Hugs, Z.