Amber L. Carter's Blog, page 62

Lists. Top of lists. THE VERY TOP OF LISTS!

Last week's free giveaway promotion on Amazon was probably two of the most exciting days of my entire life. Not only did we hit #15 on Top Literary Fiction on Amazon, but we climbed to #315 overall! That is HUGE, considering that there are a MILLION books to compete with on there. Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who either downloaded a copy, shared the news with their friends and networks, or simply just liked a status about the news.

But instead of the fun stopping after Friday, it picked up. Lookit this! - 

We're #21 on the Best Independent Novels list on Goodreads! 
Click to enlarge. You can go vote for it (or not, if you wanna be a real jerk about it) here.

And, btw, if you like books and reading even a little bit, you should join Goodreads. It's like Facebook for readers! And we can be friends on there, even. And then you can join me when I state very strong opinions about whether the show or books are better when it comes to Game of Thrones and whether or not the Hunger Games is a bunch of "kid" books.

It'll be fun! I promise!

IN OTHER RELATED-KIND-OF-BUT-MAYBE-NOT NEWS:

It's already/only two months and 4 days until ALL THE THINGS YOU NEVER EVEN KNEW is due to come out (!!!!). But even more bigs is that you only have 11 days (until May 1st) to get your name INSIDE THE ACTUAL BOOK by pre-ordering it here. You can still pre-order the book at the discounted price up until June 24th, but you won't be able to get an extra special dedication to you, with your name, in print, that you can show to all of your friends and that super snotty coworker if you miss the boat and wait until after May 1st.

So that's the news in all things cool. Or at least all things cool when it comes to books. Or all things cool when it comes to my books...

You get it.[image error]

We're Not Young (video parody)

It's funny because it's true.


[image error]

Coffeeshop horror shop.

Whenever I'm in a coffeeshop with my ear buds in and I'm writing stuff on social networks, I get this super paranoid fear that I'm actually talking out loud and just can't hear myself because my ears are filled with music. Because I actually do that, at home. The talking out loud thing. If something's funny or if I'm writing something that might be funny, I reflexively laugh to myself and repeat the funny thing out loud. "Ha ha ha! 'And then he said, "Unicorns." HO HO HO HA HA HA!". And at first, it was one of those things that I just did because I lived alone and could - who's gonna stop me? Pooks doesn't know how to say, "Shut up", which is one of the reasons why I got her in the first place - but then I started realizing that I was doing it at home when other people were there, too. So now I'm all scared that I've lost my public filter and if I have my ear buds in and I'm listening to music I won't be able to hear myself when I do it and then everyone at the coffeeshop is going to think I have Tourettes or am just plain crazy WHICH BECOMES MORE REAL WHEN YOU SUDDENLY REALIZE THAT THE PLACE HAS MYSTERIOUSLY GOTTEN MORE AND MORE EMPTY.

So anyway, that's been my day.[image error]

Eastern call.

It’s been a while, I know. Things here are hard. And different. And hard. And different. And did I mention hard? Life is new and unfamiliar, my footing is shaky and uncertain, my surroundings are foreign, but not all together unfriendly. It is very much the adventure I signed up for, which is simultaneously gratifying and terrifying. What happens when you get everything you wanted and it turns out to be nothing you expected?

I stopped returning emails and reading your blogs and checking facebook and answering telephone calls in any sort of timely manner (if at all) because it reminds me too much of what I left behind. That sounds dramatic and I don’t mean to be overly dramatic, but it’s sort like that first time you went away to summer camp and realized how to cope on your own and somehow talking to your parents actually made it worse. Made the missing more acute. The reminders of how things used to be are too much, lately. I can’t be mentally there and physically here and so I choose the only thing I can. I choose here.

The thing is, this space was born and struggled and thrived back there. And so many of you were there. Offering encouragement, lifting me up, convincing me I was big enough and strong enough and good enough to endure the tough shit. You helped me arrange the pieces back together, to form a better woman - more resilient and courageous and unbreakable than I ever thought possible. But that was Heartbreak and this is Real Life and somehow I feel like I should instinctively already know how to make it better. How to cope and survive in a new city. And I’m trying. And failing. And trying harder.

Sometimes it feels like I’m in this unfamiliar ocean wearing ill-fitting arm floaties with leaky valves and I’m kicking and treading and coughing a little and some days, I just want that fucking Navy chopper to stir up the water and throw down the rope and take me home already. Take me back to Simple and Easy. Some days I want that and I suppose that’s normal. It takes time, people keep saying, as if this sort of advice is in any way helpful or remarkable.

There’s also this piece - this show behind the curtain - this illusion I want to show you that THINGS ARE AMAZING HERE! And lots of times, they are. My job is to market beer. I MEAN, RIGHT? I get paid good money to drink good beer. THE JOKE IS SURELY ON SOMEONE, NOT ME! And I drive around all these fantastic East Coast cities and meet incredible people and host cool events and this is my life and it’s amazing. And then I come home and it’s dark and quiet and it’s just me and my two-beer buzz eating single serve microwave popcorn on the floor holding my computer up to the window like a 1999 flip phone trying to steal my neighbor’s wireless internet. On Twitter, from 1,000 miles away, life is good and the only way you would know otherwise is if you get me on the telephone and ask me what I miss most about Minnesota. This is the trigger point when I will predicatively fall apart into an ugly, sobbing mess. To voicemail you go, my friends.

... Sometimes we choose life’s tests. We gut our bellies by our own hand and we heal or we don’t. We sink or we swim. We quit or we endure. It all feels extremely black and white right now, because everything feels abnormally huge when your footprint in a new town is no larger than a dot on a map or an inconsequential pushpin. No one said it would be easy. I know I never said those words, but I never knew it would be so hard, either.

Holly Go Nightly: The Leveling

I read this last night, my head nodding up and down at every word like a bobber in the water and my heart squeezing and hurting for where Holly is. When I think back to camp or moving up north (both way back when and only a little while ago), I always get this visual of sliding into the cab of an old rickety truck stuck on an old logging trail in the middle of the woods. The road's not that great, but you know you've got to just keep your eyes straight ahead and drive forward.

And she's right: Sometimes, the fact that you chose the adventure makes finding it a not-too-altogether-happy one even harder. I always wanna be the brave soul. The one who casts out and then shouts to shore, "Look! This is even better than I told you it was gonna be!" And when it's really not, even if it's due to things that have nothing to do with you, it feels personal. Like you should have known that this wasn't going to be all awesome balls covered with the fudge of constant good times. You should have expected this, silly girl.

The biggest thing I learned, I think, is that, when you've struck out to a new place that is wholly and totally without friends, you really do get to know yourself better. The true value of your company. I remember standing in the back of a room at camp one night, wanting to shout, "You know, there are people who really do think that I'm cool!" It can be upsetting and yet freeing. A litmus test to how much of you is you, and how much is an identity you've created through your friends. This is the thing that most people figure out when they go to college. This is the thing that I still have to figure out, every time I move and make or lose friends. And while it might be a worthy thing, ideally, the experience of grappling with who you are when no one you know is around is still a lonely and quiet one.

But here's what I also love about this, and Holly - if you haven't caught on yet, reading this will show you that she is fucking brave and amazing. Independent. A goddamn woman. She's the kind of girl you write a movie about, starring Julia Roberts, a ridiculously amazing farmhouse, and a really great pair of boots. I want her to write a book about her adventures - or let me write a book based on what I think her adventures should be (please see movie idea above) - and this is what makes it that. The grit of it, the hardscrabble honesty. And right now I know that reading blogs and catching up on Facebook and calling and emailing feels a little like looking in the mirror after leaving The Labyrinth, but when it gets hard, we are here to help.

And if we need to fly out there to help you drink your $300 worth of beer, then that's the kind of sacrifice we're willing to make. But only for you.[image error]

The Easter Basket. Also the aptly named, "Thanks, Grandpa, for the Type 2 Diabetes!" Basket.

I made it all the way to noon without digging into this baby.
Because my willpower is AWESOME! 

And also because I was too busy fighting about wolves with people on Facebook, telling people on Twitter that holograms are stupid, and writing and reading about feelings to even remember that they were there. 
And some people say that hanging out on the internet all day makes you gain weight! What do those jerks know, right?! *stuffs handful of M&M's into mouth*[image error]

10 Minimal Disney Movie Posters | ChurchMag

 
 Art is neat, you guys.

In The Kingdom of Free.

Today and Friday something super exciting is happening: Holiday Chick is free on Amazon in Kindle and Cloud format (which means that even if you don't have a Kindle, you can still download the book and read it on your computer).

While giving away free books seems like the opposite of what an author would want to do, the reason why it's great is because it will get Holiday Chick into the hands of more people.

And the reason why it's really super great is that, with each download of the book, the bigger chance Holiday Chick has of making an Amazon Top 100 list, which are becoming a huge deal when it comes to books sales. A place on a Top 100 list could launch Holiday Chick book sales into the stratosphere.

So if you still like me and have a few extra minutes today and Friday, please download a copy of Holiday Chick (even if you've already read it...because it's fah-reeee!) and pass the tip on to everyone you know.

Thanks, pals!

Another gem from our resident poet-in-motion.

She's becoming a really big deal, you guys. 

The Visionary Two separate men sitting by the tree…both wondering and dreaming about what they may be.

A painter sat down about 10 feet away…was organizing his brushes and paint set for the day.

The two men could not help but notice his passionate face…as the colors hit the canvas and paint spread all over the place.

A yellow stroke…some blue… add some green for the grass…the painter was revealing some thoughts from his past.

On to the canvas he painted a dove…it represented peace and unconditional love.

Next was a man sitting quietly in a chair…reading a book representing time that he shared…

With his grandfather and all that it meant…creating a masterpiece and fully content.

The one man got up and tapped the painter on the shoulder…he asked him what he wanted to be when he was older.

The painter said the same thing that I am today…a visionary and creator that loves each day.

A visionary? What is that? Please describe…the second man walked over and said a man with blue skies.

His goals are far fetched…his dreams are not real…the guy with high hopes…you know the deal.

The two men chuckled as the painter grabbed a blank canvas and said…when you see a blank slate…what do you see? What will you get?

Confused man #1 said I see a white piece of cloth…man #2 said a boring art thing that has been bought.

The painter just smiled and grabbed his paint brush…he painted and painted until it was dusk.

He finished the piece …he explained to the men…it is my vision that I knew before I began.

I love to create…I love to see…visions that start from nothing and allow you to flow free.

You two saw a white boring canvas that I bought…I saw love exploding and a lesson to be taught…

To you two gentlemen…that you have to see…you have to know it can happen and truly believe.

Ten years later the museum displayed…that painter's artwork and people ask each day…

How did you get here...you are lucky I see…

He always shakes his head no and says you have to believe…

You must be persistent and tenacious... even when it gets scary…

It is deep in my heart…I am a Creator and Visionary.

I'm in the business of making dreams come true. And now...so are YOU!

Inspired by a conversation with mah moms and this post, I'm excited to announce a new Dig This for the ALL THE THINGS YOU NEVER EVEN KNEW pre-order.

I know June 24th seems really far off right now, and knowing myself, I'd probably wait a while myself before pre-ordering a book that wasn't coming out until June. Who wants to buy something they won't even get until summer?

But you see, the thing is, there's a method to the madness behind the pre-order of a book. If you're an independent author like m'self, pre-sales can do the awesome task of building up buzz and generating excitement and all that shiz... But the REALLY great thing that pre-orders do is give the author needed time and resources to complete the book. Basically, the money you pay for the pre-order gives me more time to write and more resources to contribute toward making a killer final product. And that's a really big fucking deal to me. Every pre-order of ALL  THE THINGS is a vote of faith and confidence, as well as a big high-five when it comes to this crazy dream of mine to make it as an independent author.

So, since I consider every pre-order an investment in the book, it seems only fitting that I officially thank every investor within the actual book.

Thus, everyone who has or does pre-order the book ALL THE THINGS before May 1st (aka, before it goes to print) will receive a special dedication inside the actual book. Printed. In type. For everyone to see. It's something you can show to your friends and family and brag about around an open fire. "Hey, check this out," you can smugly say, as you slowly pull the book off the shelf and open it to reveal your name in print. "My name's in this totally awesome book." When they ooh and aaah and rub your shoulder appreciatively, you can brush your hair back, shrug, and say, "Yeah. I know the author. No big deal." (Even if you don't know me, this will be the one time when it will be okay with me if you say that anyway).

Think about it - your name in print! And you don't even have to write a book or a super shitty editorial to make it happen! Look at you. You're so smart. Yeah, you are! Why'n't you just put your feet up for a minute, rest your hand back in your hands, and relax for a little while. Congratulate yourself for being a fine human being. A fine human being whose name is listed in many fine, paperback-bound books.

HOLIDAY CHICK: UNCUT!

The full scenes and monologues from the very hilarious stars of HOLIDAY CHICK: A Very Special Book Trailer. You will laugh out loud at least once. I promise.