Cleffairy's Blog, page 189

Keeping a Fresh Marriage: It Can Be Done

Too often, schedules, tasks and commitments rule our lives and our marriages. It can feel impossible to manage busy lives while maintaining excitement and surprise in our relationships. Have you been married for just a few months and want to know good habits to start that will last long into the future and keep you excited about one another? Or have you celebrated a couple of decades together and find yourselves facing monotony? No matter how long it's been, it is never too late to infuse new life into your marriage and enliven your connection with your partner.

Never Stop Dating  Even though you are no longer in the dating phase of your relationship upon getting married, the truth is this: You should never stop dating. Make the effort to set aside quality time that is so easily lost in the shuffle. Spending intentional time together allows you to reconnect and enjoy each other's company in the midst of your busy days. Go out alone and do something you enjoy. Take turns planning a special evening. It will infuse life and romance into your everyday partnership.
Use Your Words  The simple act of talking can work wonders in bringing couples together. There is a reason why communication dominates the top of every relationship to-do- list. Just listening to one another and voicing thoughts fosters trust within your relationship. Leaving things unsaid, on the other hand, means expectations and frustrations go unknown, unmet and unaddressed. This breeds contempt when simply conversing with one another leads to understanding. If there is something you need that you're not getting, make it known. Listen if your partner is sharing thoughts or concerns with you. As communicating can be the hardest thing to do sometimes, a third-party counselor specializing in marriage can be a helpful option to get things back on track.
Know Your Role  As a husband or wife, you have a particular role unlike any other in your partner's life. You have the power to make the other person feel either loved and appreciated or completely invisible. Remember to give due attention to your spouse and let them know that they are on your mind. It doesn't require grand gestures (though those are encouraged, too), but simple notes, texts, phone calls, and other small gestures that validate the other person. You chose this person, signed up for a lifelong commitment and little acts of love go a long way. They serve as a reminder that each other is valued, which means more coming from a spouse than anyone else. Strengthen that bond and encourage those supportive roles within each other.
Break the Routine Enough with the everyday list of things to do. That is not going anywhere and there are a thousand ways each day that we can fill our time, sometimes without a second thought. Bring spontaneity back into your marriage and leave the routine behind now and again. Instead of jumping into chores first thing on Saturday morning, go explore somewhere new in your city or strike out on an adventure together. Being spontaneous can break through the mundane and set a new tone for your time together. Look for new ideas from Love Blogs and be open to possibilities you can try. Try a wine tasting, farmer's market or hike. Throw a Frisbee or rent bikes for a few hours in the middle of the day. On a rainy day, take the time to learn a new game or attempt a new recipe. Sprinkling your marriage with different activities helps keep the relationship fresh and the average at bay.

No matter what, you have to try. As soon as you stop paying attention, you may not even recognize when your marriage changes and becomes stale. Keep it alive and flourishing, you won't regret it.

Article Sources

Tips for Keeping Your Marriage Fresh (2012) CT Department of Children & Families

Marriage Help: How to Keep Your Relationship Fresh (2012) Strengthen Your Relationship

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Checking it twice

Remember I blogged about my period going MIA not long ago? I got a negative result on both pregnancy tester provided in the home pregnancy test kit.

But I wasn't convinced with the result and I thought I was pregnant as I had pregnancy symptoms. For peace of mind, I decided to go to the doctor to confirm it with me. It's a good thing that I decided to check it twice, because if a woman is not pregnant and she's not in menopausal phase of her life, any irregularities in her menstrual cycle can be dangerous. They usually mean hormonal imbalance, ectopic pregnancy or fibroids, which is deadly for a woman.

I may sound paranoid to most, but there's no harm in checking things twice as sometimes, it saves lives.

I implement the 'checking it twice' habit in various expects of my lives, including when it comes to choosing growing up milk for my boy. You see, most growing up milk powder contains excessive added sugar, which is absolutely not good for growing up children.



Take a look at the video above. It's similar to the one that I saw in Hospital Danau Kota's waiting room (refer to my previous post HERE: http://cleffairy.com/?p=6439).

According to the video interview above with Professor Peter Davies (a member of Key opinion Leaders), it is recommended by The World Health Organization (WHO)  that we should keep added sugar intakes to less than 10 per cent of our total calorie intake.

It is reasonable recommendation, I must say as young children, particularly those ageing 2 to 3 years old and above only needs about 150 kcal or less than 7 teaspoons per day maximum.

Yes, children do not actually need much sugar in their diet while they are growing up. Whoever claims that children needs alot of sweets and sugar in their diet is a big liar. It's definitely a myth that children needs alot of sugar in their daily diet.

But then again, feeding them excessive sugar can sometimes be unavoidable, as most growing up powder in the market contains a lot of added sugar. Trust me. I know so because I've tried many growing up milk samples that's given to me, and most of them taste rather sweet. Artificially sweet, I must say. I'm not lying. If you don't believe me, you can try taste your children's growing up milk like me too. Try it, and I daresay that most of them taste very sweet, and it is important to note that growing up milk are not supposed to taste sweet. Ask any paediatrician and they will tell you the same thing: growing up milk are not supposed to taste too sweet like chocolate milk or honeyed milk.

I am very particular when it comes to choosing growing up milk for my son as he's an ADHD child, so it's really tricky for me to choose a growing up milk that does not contain any added sugars. I can't afford my son getting sugar rush as he'll get hyper and rather uncontrollable, which is very dangerous as he'll jump up and down, even when I told him not to do so. Once his sugar level is higher than it's supposed to be, his concentration will go AWOL too.

I've been called many names. Cruel and controlling mother tops the list. Why? Because people have this perception that children should be given sweet things, and I happen to be strict in that department, especially growing up milk.

I know alot of modern parents are placed in an awkward predicament like me where sometimes the in laws interfere with parenting and says something like "Why don't you allow your kids take milk with added sugars or Milo in it? It taste much nicer and they'll definitely finish the whole glass faster". Good God, as if added sugars in most growing up milk is not bad enough! Such statement is really horrifying.

Some growing up milk already had added sugars in in it if we're not careful, we could be feeding our children sugar more than they needed. Parents should be firm when it comes to providing growing up milk to their children. Choose those with no added sugars in it, and remember to be firm with your stand as excessive added sugars will do more harm than good to your children's body.

It is important for parents to read labels on children's food products. When buying growing up milk, it's important to look for the presence of these added sugars and not just look at the expiry date.

If an added sugar name appears near the top of the ingredient list, or there are more than one name present, then it's a good indication that the food has high contents of added sugars.

If you're a smart mummy and daddy and wants the best for your children, you should opt for foods and beverages labelled "no added sugars" or "less sugars" or "sugar free" on the packaging.

But be really careful, though, as sometimes sugar contents could still be there  in these children food products. Take this for an example: a product claiming "no added sucrose" or "sucrose free" could still contain other types of added sugars. If you see  '"no sucrose" but the label says that the products contains corn syrup solids or glucose syrup solids, then the product in question still contains added sugars.

So again, I'd like to say, be extra, extra careful. It can be rather tricky, I know, but I assure you that it's worth spending our time checking the label twice or more before buying any food products for our children in the long run as it concerns their health in general.

It is important to  use a no added sugar products, especially no added sugar growing up milk. Growing up milk powder are supposed to be all about good nutrition for growing children, not added sugars that could increase the risk of various medical problems like obesity and diabetes(and extreme hyperactivity in ADHD children's case)

 

I also saw something interesting in the Star newspaper a few weeks back. It was an advert from the Ministry of Health about their sugar reduction campaign they started last year… you know the one… telling us we should all eat a little less sugar. Anyway, it mentioned that added sugars can have many different names, such as corn syrup solids, sucrose and glucose syrup solids. And also that we need to be aware of claims made on packaging about specific types of sugar s of added sugars in these products such as products claiming "no added sucrose" or "sucrose free"; it could still contain other types of added sugars.

These two things got me thinking… since the Ministry of Health already said that corn syrup solids, sucrose and glucose syrup solids are added sugars, it is still quite amazing (not in a good way) how some children's milk such as Mamil and Enfa can still included so much of these added sugars in their formulations. Why? Are they trying to make hyperactive children like my boy even more hyper, not to mention it is unhealthy for children to partake so much added sugars? Since the MOH also said that "no sucrose" doesn't mean there isn't any "added sugars", I think it is even more important to read the ingredient label even more closely to check if there are other types of added sugars. I noticed Mamil Gold has a "no sucrose" claim on their packaging. I guess it is time for me to go check the ingredient label out although I think Anmum Essential is still best suited for my child as it contains no added sugars.

So, mummies and daddies out there, what growing up milk did you give your children? Is the content beneficial to your children? Does it contain any added sugars in it? Do check the label and let me know if your kids' growing up milk contains any added sugars in it or not.

I'd be pleased if you share what growing up milk you feed your children with, and your opinions in regards to choosing growing up milk for your children. To me, what matters most is that I nurture my child with something that doesn't do harm to his body in the long run. How about you? What's important for you when you choose growing up milk powder for your children?

Anyway, as far as I'm concern, Anmum Essential is the only growing up milk powder with no added sugars in the market so far, and I intend to continue using that for my boy, considering that he's okay with the milk and all that too.

 

Cleffairy: Remember, folks, it is important to make an informed decision when we buy growing up milk for our children. Sweetness comes in many forms, but it shouldn't come in the form of growing up milk powder.

 

 

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They made my life easier

Can you imagine your life without copy machines? I don't know if you could imagine your life without it's existence, but I certainly cannot imagine my life without them, not when they played an important part in my life as both a teacher and a student. Copiers has made my life easier.

As a teacher, it enables me to make copies of exercise sheets for my students while as a student, it allowed me to make copies of lecture and tutorial notes whenever I couldn't make it to class in time to take notes from the board. You see, it's not easy to study part time. Juggling between your study, work and family can be really exchausting, and more often than not, I'm guilty of skipping lectures and tutorials. I can only be thankful that there's always a copier or two around that i can use to copy notes from my classmates and whatnot.

Yes, copiers like Canon Copiers has made my life easier. It not only allowed me to make duplicates of documents within seconds, but it also allow me to print, scan and fax documents. Yups, some copiers are just Godsent. They allowed you to do more than just making copies of your documents.

I don't know how my parents and the parents before them survived without having a copy machine when they are studying. Copying notes from friends and whatnot doesn't seems to be an effective thing to do if you need them urgently. It also wouldn't help if you don't have a copier around if you need to copy certain documents urgently. I wonder how they do it back then before copy machines are introduced? How do they copy or make duplicates of certain documents that they need to use?

I don't know how they do it, but I'm certainly glad that I'm living in an era where machines like copiers made my life much easier and hassle free.

 

 

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STOP LYNAS, SAVE MALAYSIA

This is a public service message from the author of Over A Cuppa Tea to all Malaysians. Go green. Stop Lynas and save Malaysia from being turned into a land of nuclear wastage.

A very special thanks to my friend Si Pet a.k.a Jack for being a model for this message.

Cleffairy: Strip it off! Go back to basic and save the environment!

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Facebook: YES or NO?

Do you communicate with your other half through Facebook or other social media websites? I don't know if you do it, but I do. Some may find it queer, and distateful, even, but I don't. I find it a rather effective means of communication where I can be extremely sure that my other half gets my message.

You see…despite of the convenience of communicating through the phone… via sms and calls…I find Facebook a much more effective means of communication. Calls are always missed (Sometimes he's driving and he will forget to return my calls). Sms-ses are always ignored, forgotten, and sometimes, regarded as SPAM but Facebook? Nah… the message stays there safely and I can be sure that the message is sent to his email as well as he's usually subscribed to those update notifications. Facebook is not all evil, you know? Nothing is ever really evil if you really make good use of it. A gun on it's own is not evil. The one who pulls the trigger to shoot the innocents is evil. Not the gun itself.

You might find it funny, amusing and irritating when you see me tagging my husband or my friends on Facebook for trivial or personal matters. You may wonder why I don't choose to do it through a much more conventional means of communication…but hey…I don't see communicating with my husband through Facebook is wrong.

I, for one, can proudly say that I don't go around flirting with other people's husbands and wreck people's marriage while I'm at it on Facebook like some manipulative and pretentious bimbos. I use it for my own good, and while you see I rant and whine and complain in my status updates all the time, how do you know what really transpire in private messages? *gRinZ*

How do you know I don't do sexy, flirty messages to my husband through Facebook private messaging system? LOL! I'm an author, you know. I can be quite good with words when I chooses to be. And I can assure you that when I chooses to be flirty, I can be very seductive.

Cleffairy: So, ladies…and gentleman…do you do sexy talks or communicate with your spouse through Facebook? Don't be jealous, ya…I have my husband to flirt with on Facebook.

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Bihun goreng pattaya

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Goreng Pisang/Fried Bananas Kids these days are terribly deprived of the simple joy...

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Forbidden Fantasies

Title: Forbidden Fantasies

Publisher:Carina Press

Pub Date: March 05, 2012

ISBN: 9781426893339

Author:Griffin, Jodie

Never before I've read an erotica that made me think. Most are trashy and rather distasteful. 'Forbidden Fantasies' by Jodie Griffin is not just your ordinary erotic read. No, not when there's many issues in a marriage that has been brought up in her book. Definitely not 'wham-bang and bye bye' kind of book.

While there's so many erotic and kinky things were written in this book, I found that I was attracted to the message the author is trying to deliver more than the sensual scenes. She touched quite a lot of things in this book, mainly open communication between spouses and fidelity, and bringing one's marriage into a much more exciting heights.

How many of us married couples found our sex lives are rather predictable after being married for years to each other? How many of us husband and wives has been really open with each other in regards to sex? And how many of us has been really honest with each other about what we want, what we need, and what we would like to try with each other in bed?

I could completely relate to the heroine. Sometimes sex is quite a touchy subject and we wives are not always open and honest with our husband when it comes to the things we wanted to do in between the sheet. Most of us find it embarrassing to discuss such things with our husbands(or wives) in fear of being rejected, etc, and we could see such thing clearly through the heroine of this story, Jessica.

Many of us are afraid to be open with our spouses when it comes to sex. Most of us wants to bring our marriage to another height where we could be fully open with our spouses but could not bring ourselves to do it, and I suppose, picking up this book gives me some clue on how to start making my own marriage far more exciting than it's already is.

'Forbidden Fantasies' is a dream come true for people like me…who have been married for quite some time and finds my sex life is rather mundane and predictable. Not only this book encourages couples to be more honest with their feelings with each other, but it's pretty descriptive too. A gem, I must say. This is the first erotica that I've read twice… okay, okay… I've read it more than twice. I've read it three times in one sitting. It is mesmerizing, beautiful, sensual and very inspiring.

Thumbs up to the author for such a wonderful work. And for the first time in my life, I'll give an erotica a gleaming 5 stars for being such a tasteful and inspiring read. Bravo, Ms. Griffin.

I received an ARC of this book from Carina Press via Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review for this book. For more information on this title, please refer to the sites below:

Publisher Website : click here Author Website : click here

Author's Facebook page: Jodie Griffin

Book description:

After fifteen years of marriage, Jessica Meyers's sex life is, well, a little predictable. Her handsome husband turns her on, but missionary style once or twice a week? It just can't compare to the hot new world she discovers in the pages of erotic romances. Her fantasies fuel the fire of her desire, adding a new spark to her and Alex's lovemaking. But Jess is afraid to tell her husband what she really wants in bed-and her secrets start coming between them.

State trooper Alex Meyers is a master at uncovering the truth-except when it comes to his sweet, shy wife. She's clearly keeping something from him. An affair? She wants out? When he finally confronts Jess, he's shocked to learn she wants to turn her forbidden fantasies into nightly realities. But when he takes her to a unique B and B-Bondage and Breakfast-catering to couples and multiples, Alex is about to find out just how far he'll go.

 

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R.I.P, Faris

Remember my post a couple of days ago on both Facebook and my blog where I appealled to the public to help in any way that they can and spread the word about a child who is strickened with blood cancer? Well…if you haven't help and intends to help, it is too late for you to help or do anything now. The child has passed away at about 1 hour ago as of writing.

The child's body will be released by Sime Darby Medical Centre ( SJMC) at about 12:30pm, 23rd Feb 2012. His body will be laid to rest at Kampung Budiman, Shah alam.

Those who wishes to pay their last respect may do so at:

No 1, jalan pulau lumut U10/76j

Alam Budiman, seksyen u10

Puncak Perdana,

Shah Alam, Selangor Darul Ehsan.

 

Cleffairy: My condolence to Faris's family. May God bless his soul.

A note to cynical bastards: You folks must be really happy now that there's less 'one scammer' who will scam your precious money. Go and throw a party now instead of staging up some crocodile tear's act. The grievance of others must have made you folks happy.

 

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Change of Plans

If you are one of my book reviewers, I'm sorry to say that this is not an update about my novel of the same name,but about the change of my schedule and priorities. Ever since school term commenced, I no longer have much time to spend unnecessarily and therefore, if I don't drop by your blogs and whatnot to comment like I used to do, please don't feel offended. It is not because I am unhappy with you or I no longer have interest in what you have to say in your blogs, but it is because time is envious of me and does not permit me to do so. There is so much things to be done in a day and 24 hours is no longer sufficient for me.

My priorities are different now that my schedules has changed greatly. I hope you guys understand and excuse me for it.

I will try to drop by whenever I can, though.

And do take note that most of my blog entries are scheduled. My response to your comments might be slightly delayed as well and I am sorry for that too. Should you need to contact me urgently, feel free to do so via email. I can be contacted at cleffairy(at)gmail.com for personal matters and admin(at)cleffairy.com for business purposes like paid reviews and whatnot.

Thank you in advance for your kind understanding. I really appreciate it.

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Help needed…

There's a lot of bad news lately, and the most recent is that my husband's friend's son is admitted into the hospital for Hemophagocytic Lymphohistiocytosis (HLH). It's some sort of blood cancer.

This boy's name is Faris. He's 6 years old, and as of writing, he's battling for his life in Sime Darby Medical Center Subang Jaya (Subang Jaya Medical Center).

As of writing this entry, the poor child is battling for his life in Sime Darby Medical Center Subang Jaya (Subang Jaya Medical Center). Initially the parents of this child wanted to transfer this child to government's hospital to reduce cost, but the doctors adviced them against is as he's critically ill and unstable.

Faris and his family desperately need your help.The medical bills are escalating, and right at the moment, we're trying all we can to raise Rm30,000 for Faris and his family.

And if you wish to help this poor child, you may donate any amount of money into this Maybank account:

Maybank 1628-5200-2738 (Shamrulismawi Ismail).

Blood donation is also welcomed. The child needs O blood type, and if your blood happens to be O type and you wish to donate blood to this poor child, you may go to Sime Darby Medical Center Subang Jaya (Subang Jaya Medical Center) to donate blood.

Further details can be obtained from Faris's father's Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/Abahko

 

Cleffairy: Please spread the words. Thank you.

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