Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 81

A 'No Go'

If there was a surprise in all this, it was only that he didn’t give a damn anymore.
Olen Steinhauer,
THE NEAREST EXIT

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 19, 1987
Friday

There was practically no sign of Stacey all week. She rarely sleeps here. It’s fine with me. I just want the rent check.

This was a ‘no go’ day for the gym.

Mom had the night off, so I went over to keep her company. I had dinner and simply hung out over there.

I was home by 10:30PM and simply went to bed. It was a quick and relaxing Friday. Yawn.

If looking at someone with desire was as bad as satisfying the desire, if having an active fantasy was as bad as the act you were fantasizing…then why not the satisfaction and the act itself? As the days went on, I discovered that I couldn’t stop thinking sinful thoughts. In which case I also wanted the sin itself.
-Bernhard Schlink
THE READER

A 'No Show'

Wasn’t that the definition of home?  NOT where you are from, but where you are wanted?
-Abraham Verghese
CUTTING FOR STONE

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 18, 1987
Thursday

I caught the express bus to The City easily today.

I telephoned high-school classmate, Julie Roth. She works at a Travel Agency.
“How about lunch,” I asked
Julie said, “I have Sundays and Mondays off.”
“Would you like to have lunch with me next Thursday?”
“Okay, you know…I was thinking about you. I just got my pictures back from the reunion and I wasn’t sure if you gave me your business card or not.”
“I didn’t…but I’m calling now.”
I laughed. She didn’t. We’re set for a lunch in The City next week though.

I walked over to see my ex-boss, Stephanie. We’re going to do lunch next Wednesday.

Freddie and I ate at PIZZA BOAT today.

When I arrived home to Alameda I peeked in and saw that Stacey was sleeping in her bed. The phone rang. It was Stacey’s mother, so I woke her up.
I telephoned my mom today.“You know…I’m off tomorrow and for the next two weeks.”“That’s great! You deserve the time off!”
Stacey left to have dinner at her mom’s house. The doorbell rang at about 7PM. I thought it was Chris Cordellos but he pulled a ‘no show’. It was Tom, the bearded boyfriend.
“Oh, Stacey is at her mom’s house.”

A little later, Stacey came home with her mom, a close family friend, her step dad and brothers. They all attempted to carry a couch upstairs into the spare bedroom. They had to use a saw to chop the sofa to get it through the door. How ridiculous! These are the trials, tribulations and stresses of having a roommate. I left for SAFEWAY because I couldn’t watch the nightmare of it all. I wanted it to be over by the time I returned home.

When I did return home it seemed mellower. It was nice to be home. I made a salad and a lean cuisine dinner. I sort of watched ROCKY III (or was it IV or V?). I got into watching the 20/20 Newsmagazine show. They were interviewing Donna Rice about the Gary Hart (Presidential Candidate) controversy. I love 20/20. It’s a good show.

One gains the most if one can sufficiently heighten the yield of pleasure from the sources of psychical and intellectual work.
-Sigmund Freud
Civilization and its Discontents

It's Beyond Me

With the intoxication of youth in him, as the poet wisely noted, a man will see Helen of Troy in every woman.
Thomas Mann
-Fallen, 1894

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 17, 1987
Wednesday

The card I sent to Paloma returned back to me a ‘second time’. How aggravating! This time I failed to denote the country: FRANCE. Sheesh!

My Security Pacific MasterCard account is now closed and paid in full. Hurrah!

Freddie and I ordered Chinese Food and decided to remain in the building. We did take a pit stop over to the Pharmacy though. Freddie had to pick up some medication.

Work is always so busy.

Johnny and I are going camping next weekend. How fun! Then, the weekend after that I’ll be on my way to Hawaii.

Mom starts her vacation on Friday.

I made it to the gym tonight and burned two-hundred and forty-six calories on the LIFE Rower machine. It’s good, considering I ate a REESES Peanut Butter Cup and KIT KAT today (two-hundred and fifty calories for each bar). I worked off only one of them.

I missed my express bus to The City this morning. I had to drive in which wasn’t so bad.

Oh yes, while at the gym I met a fellow named Ken who worked-in with me on one of the machines. Mark Geberhardt also showed up and we worked out together on a couple of the machines as well.

I showered at home and decided to give Eileen a call. She wasn’t home. Why did I even choose to call her? It’s beyond me.

I telephoned Rachelle Davies and we made plans to go out this coming Tuesday evening.
Rachelle said, “I’m going to Orange County this weekend.”
“Why there?” I asked.
“Oh, my cousin is getting married.”

Stacey didn’t spend the night. It’s like I have a paid roommate who never stays here. Nice.

Yesterday, I received a phone call from Chris.
“I can come over this Thursday.”
That’s tomorrow! Maybe he’ll cut my hair. I could use a trim.

“Believe it. We’re all wandering in the dark.”
-Olen Steinhauer
THE NEAREST EXIT

A Good Influence

He raised himself from the bed, grabbed his martini, and lifted it. “To knowing what to do, and when.”
-Olen Steinhauer
THE NEXT EXIT

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 16, 1987
Tuesday

I rode my bike after my work day and happened to see a high-school classmate named John Zahn. I waved to him and he waved back.
During our recent high-school reunion the other night he had said to me, “I always see you riding your bike and you never wave back.”
I explained, “Oh…I’m ‘into’ my music on my headphones when I ride and I probably don’t see you.”
It’s funny because I was thinking about him saying those words and I happened to see him today. I’m glad I waved.

I had lunch with Mark Gebhardt (from my gym) at THE HAVEN in San Francisco today. I had a good talk with him. He made me reevaluate my career plans for the future.
“Is there anything else you’d like to do?” Mark asked.
“Well, I do have an inspiration to be in the Entertainment Industry in some way or another. I don’t mean in front of the camera but while in college I wrote a few programming story ideas for television.”
“You should look into that.”
“Yeah, maybe…it’s funny; I remember writing a story about a sort of a soap-opera for night time television. My Marketing professor was so impressed by it that she suggested I send it to ABC-TV. And you won’t believe what happened.”
“What?”
“Well, I sent it back in early 1980 and ‘sure enough’ all of these shows began to appear on prime-time TV a year later like FALCOLN CREST and DYNASTY. I almost feel like whoever received my pitch package…stole my idea.”
Mark encouraged me: “You never know. You should pursue the writing.”
“Yeah…maybe; I’ve always wondered why I never got a reply with my programming idea and stories. It’s all very suspicious.”
“Sounds like it.”

I went ahead with my visit to Eileen. She showed me a glass statuette that her Italian beau gave here.
She screamed excitedly, “And Dave gave me new speakers for my car!”
I thought, “Give me a break.”
She drove me around in her Volkswagen and we stopped for ice-cream at Double Rainbow. We had intentions of going to see the movie BEVERLY HILLS COP II. Instead, we ended up looking at the view of the San Francisco Airport. I pulled my pants down to show her the bruise I got from bumping into a machine at the gym the other night. She got a kick out of my quick ‘pull down of the pants action’ by laughing aloud. I think I wanted her to be surprised. As time passed Eileen realized that her car wouldn’t start. She had ‘juiced it out’ by playing the radio and showing off her new speakers. I ended up pushing her car a good length (luckily it was only a VW bug). It took some jumping cables and a couple of Good Samaritan “dudes” to get the car started again. I wasn’t back in Alameda until about 12:15AM.

Stacey didn’t sleep over.
She had confessed with me, “My meetings that I’m having are ‘sort of’ rehab meetings because I was really into cocaine.”
I imagine she slept with that bearded guy, Tom, again. She certainly won’t be influenced by ‘coke’ around me. I’m not into that sort of stuff. I hope this Tom character is a good influence.

“We are the result of our histories…not the result of our present.”
-Olen Steinhauer
THE NEXT EXIT

Home-Cooked Goodies

“You can make more friends in a month by being interested in them than in ten years of trying to get them interested in you.”
-Charles L Allen
ROADS TO RADIANT LIVING

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 15, 1987
Monday

Stacey moved in.

I came home from work via the express bus. I walked in and noticed that Stacey had only painted one wall in her bedroom. She left in the middle of her move-in to go out with Tom. Tom is her bearded thirty-five year old beau. She didn’t even spend the night. I can only assume she slept with Tom. Such is life (OH well).

I went to the gym and saw Scott. He was wearing my gray gym shorts! Is that a sign?
“Could you give me your address?” Scott asked.
I gave it to him, wondering why he asked for it.
“I’m off to OHIO and I want to send you some home-cooked goodies.”
“Oh…that’ll be great.”
We’ll see if he keeps his word. He’s a nice fellow. He just might…

I called Jeff and announced my news: “You know…I will have a rent-a-car for my entire stay while in Hawaii.”

Carla was suspended from work for two weeks! The reason was bad attendance. She’s too much.

I’m still thinking about the fun at my class reunion the other night. It was really great. I tried calling Julie Roth on Monday but she had the day off. We both work in The City, so I’m hoping to arrange a lunch date.
PHOTO: June 13, 1987, Sue Miller
I called Sue Miller.
Sue said, “I found out who that jerk was at the reunion.”
I asked “Which one?”
“The Harley Davidson motorcycle one.”
“Oh yeah…who was he? He looked scary!”
“His name is Bruce Pardee.”
“Oh wow…I remember him from sixth grade…that was him! Listen, do you want to go to breakfast at OLE’s on Saturday morning?”
“Okay.”

Take the risk of saying, ‘I LIKE ME’.
Everything a person has can be shared.
Everything a person has is unique and special.
There’s no limit to ‘human potential’.
-Michael J Armijo
PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENTS

Mexicali Rose Anniversary Margarita's

“Do not abandon yourself to a sort of melancholy gloom that can harm you and retard the development of your faculties and prolong the weakness of your temperament. You happiness, your existence is all that makes mine precious.”
—in a letter Philippe wrote to his son Francois Clicquot

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 14, 1987
Sunday

I burned off my alcohol from last night with a morning run to the end of Shoreline Avenue.

I enjoyed breakfast with ma and pa. Sherri, Ashley, mom and I went to see a few of the new model homes on Bay Farm Island. It was depressing when I analyzed the price offerings.

I slept at mom’s house for a restful Sunday afternoon nap. When I woke up I saw that my brother, Tony, and his wife, Helen, were there. I gave Tony an update on the happenings at the Alameda High Reunion from last night.

I came home and was surprised by a phone call on my answering machine recorder from Rachelle Davies!

Then Johnny called. It seems we’re going camping in two weekends.

Stacey came over with her mom, step-sister and aunt (?) and some other woman. I detected that she’ll be a fine roommate. I certainly hope so.

I took a drive over to Berkeley. It was a beautiful day and I discovered the estuary and rowing teams practicing. There was a guy there named Charles who was really good. I returned home and continued with domestic chores like washing clothes. It’s always a drag.

Oh yes…I took ma and pa out to the MEXICALI ROSE for their 30th Anniversary (which is officially June 15, 1957). It was my treat. The three of us shared two pitchers of Margarita’s. We had so much fun, laughing and eating. I love them.


"Presents are made for the pleasure of who gives them, not for the merits of who receives them."
-Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Ten Year Reunion

The friendships of those we serve are the foundation of our progress.
-Michael J Armijo
PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENTS

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 13, 1987
Saturday

I hit mom and dad’s house for a great breakfast.

I went to my cousin Lori’s Wedding Reception with mom, Ashley and Sherri. I thought I took some great snapshots.

After the wedding receptions festivities I took off for my ALAMEDA High School Ten Year Reunion which was conveniently held on Bay Farm Island. I had a blast. The keys stars in terms of my “swooping” and most interested-in were: Julie Roth, Cyndy Whitmore, Debbie Nelson (though she’s married and going through a divorce and has two kids).

I had a terrific time. I drank a little too much though. My pictures show some of the series of events on reunion night. Kathy Purvis took the photo I shot of her. That was annoying. Vicki Wiltens took her photo too. I didn’t like that. Oh well…

When we open ourselves
You yourself to me and
I myself to you,
When we submerge
You into me and I into you
When we vanish
Into me you and into you I
Then
Am I me
And you are You.
-Joseph von Eichendorff
MEMORIES OF A GOOD-FOR-NOTHING

At a certain point the memory of her stopped accompanying me wherever I went. She stayed behind, the way a city stays behind as a train pulls out of the station. It’s there, somewhere behind you and you could go back and make sure of it. But why should you?
-Bernhard Schlink
THE READER

La Bomba

‘When a man is a mystery to himself you can hardly call him mysterious.”
- Abraham Verghese
CUTTING FOR STONE

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 12, 1987
Friday

Carla wasn’t at work again. Why? I’ll never know. She’s so irresponsible and I even ‘told her so’ yesterday. She was supposed to have lunch with me. She cancels out on me at the last minute and I don’t like it.
“Michael, I have to meet with my attorney about that police harassment problem I had a couple of months ago.”
Like I said, she’s irresponsible and unreliable.

I went up and had pizza at my old SDC office. They invited me. Dale Orlando was there on a visit as well. It was almost like ‘old home’ week.
Cedric said, “I’m focusing on an Account Executive position now.”
I didn’t say it aloud but thought, “Give me a break.”

I took off on my bike once I arrived home. A bit later I was upstairs and naked when I heard the front door open. It was Stacey with her mom! Yikes! I quickly put on some pants and a shirt just as they came upstairs. I greeted them and shook hands politely with Stacey’s mom.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I said courteously.
Stacey said, “I’ll probably be moving most of my junk in this coming Sunday.”
“Great, I’m looking forward to your company.”
I called Suzy Miller.
I asked, “Are you going to our TEN-Year high-school reunion?”
“Yes, I guess I’m going.”
“Great!”
“Aren’t you nervous?”
“Not really, why don’t we go together?”
“Okay.”“Come to my house at seven-thirty and we’ll leave from here.”
“All right…I’ll be there.”

They’ve been playing LA BOMBA by Richie Valens on the radio a lot lately. I just LOVE IT! It reminds me of three specific things that I LOVE:
1. That scene in the Nicolas Cage/Matthew Modine movie BIRDY.
2. Paloma
3. Just plain dancing or bicycling ‘really fast’.

Eileen phoned and left a message on my recorder: “I guess you don’t want to talk to me (sigh). Call me tomorrow morning.”
I thought and asked myself quietly, “But why? Why am I wasting my time?”
I think I’m INTO Stacey now.

What counts in science is not being the first to do an experiment but being the first to publish the results.
-Bryan Sykes
The Seven Daughters of Eve

To Let Off Some Steam

Against the suffering which may come upon one from human relationships the readiest safeguard is voluntary isolation, the happiness of quietness.
-Sigmund Freud
CIVILIZATION AND ITS DISCONTENTS

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 11, 1987
Thursday

It was another “okay” day. There was a fire drill at our building this morning. Everyone had to evacuate. I saw Neil Austin, a former coworker from Pac Bell.
Neil said, “Hey Mike! I talked to Margaret Lai the other day and she said you don’t return her calls.”
“She did?” I asked.
“Yeah, she kept going on and on.”
“I didn’t even know she’d been calling. I know she can be very persistent with a lot of pressure, too.”
Neil laughed, “Yeah, that’s her!”

I did make it to the gym and Scott wasn’t there…yet again. Oh well, I lost my work out buddy—or so it seems. I worked out anyway.

Chris called me and we had a good talk.

Jeff called me and said, “I’m definitely going to stop in San Francisco next Sunday for an hour on my return flight from New York!”
I thought it was pretty ridiculous for me to drive all the way to South San Francisco to see him at the airport for an hour…but we’ll see.
I kept missing Stacey, my new roommate. She leaves me a note and I do the same. It’s like having an invisible roommate. I imagine a lot of relationships are like that.

I telephoned mom.
Mom asked, “Do you think you could return a blender for me to PAYLESS?”
“Yes, but it would be better if I could do it on Friday.”
She got on my case a little bit by saying something about how when she needs a favor I can’t do it. However, I didn’t say “no”. She cooled off. I guess she just had to let off some steam (as we all do at times).

I was home from the gym by 9PM and chose to turn in to bed early. I haven’t called Eileen back. She hasn’t called me either. Such is life. Yawn.

“One writes simply as one feels, such a work is like sunlight radiating from a source of infinite brightness, not like a spark from a fluid struck on iron or stone. This alone is true art. And such a writer alone is a true artist.”
–Lu Xun,
A Happy Family

Hot Summer Nights

A story should have a beginning, a middle and an end.  But actually, if you think about it, life isn’t like that. Life doesn’t have a neat beginning and a tidy end.  Life is always going on.  You should begin in the middle and end in the middle, and it should all be there.
-V.S. Naipaul
HALF A LIFE

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 10, 1987
Wednesday

Taking the OX express bus to San Francisco is becoming a great venue. I’m allowing my car to rest. It’s great and less expensive that using up all of my gas.

Freddie, Rhoda and I ate at ‘B and M Chinese’.

Rhoda and Steve got on poor Freddie’s case because she cancelled someone’s Yellow Page Advertising before giving the customer a chance. Apparently, Freddie called the customer after a week had passed and received no response to an intent to cancel letter (Poor Freddie).

I had another day of good accomplishments with my work load.

I came home after work and found a note from Stacey. She left some things in her room. I snooped and saw a sexy nightgown sprawled out on the bed. It looks nice. I’d like to see it on her.

I may have talked Sherri into going to Lori’s Wedding Reception this Saturday with my mom and me. She will bring Ashley along, too.
Sherri said, “Stacy doesn’t really have a boyfriend.”
I nonchalantly mentioned, “Well, she goes to some place two nights a week. Maybe it’s a YOGA-related thing or maybe she’s into that EST thing.”
Sherri confessed, “Well, she’s ‘sort of been seeing’ some thirty-five year old guy but I don’t know if it’s really that serious.”
“I don’t know anything about that. I think she’s cute though. I don’t know what I’m going to do on those HOT SUMMER Nights with her under my same roof.”
Sherri laughed and asked, “What if I said she thinks mutually of you?”
That sounded interesting. I wasn’t sure if she was serious or kidding.

I helped my dad out by moving his PINTO because they’re going to restructure dad’s front yard with some cosmetic cement work in a specific area to make the driveway have more space.

I received a postcard from Paloma. She indicated where she is living now. She wants me to send her my telephone number. I don’t think she has my new one. It would be fun to speak to her in France.

I also received a letter from Eileen. I finally broke down and called her. It was clear from her voice that she was so happy to hear from me and doesn’t want to lose me.
She whispered, “Listen…I can’t really talk now because Ann is calling me to help set the table for dinner.”
“Shall I call you around seven-thirty?” I asked.
“That would be PERFECT!”
“Well, I’ll be at the gym.”
“I’m going to BLACK ANGUS with Katrina and another girlfriend tonight.”
I said, “Okay then I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“I can call you later tonight.”
“Okay.”
It’s over between us as far as I’m concerned. We can still be friends but if she doesn’t want a relationship with me…why waste my time? I could hear Carla’s voice, whispering in my ear. She’s too young anyway.
Chris had even said the same thing last night, “She’s too young.”

Stacy seems a lot more mature.
Stacy left a message on my recorder: “I’m OFFICIALLY moving in on Monday.”

I went to the gym and Scott was not around to give inspiration. Could he be leaving early?   Is he avoiding me?

Martin Sheen is the guest host on THE LATE SHOW. It irks me that his son’s Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen got into show biz so easily. It’s nice having familial connections in the movie industry. It’s not always what you know but who you know. I only wish I had some significant connections. I only wish. Alas, only time will tell. It’s time for bed.

Do you ever think while something is happening, about what’s happening someplace else?
-Mitch Albom
FOR ONE MORE DAY