Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 127

A Delightful Change

She thought of the sheer pleasure she got from riding the bicycle, of the exhilaration that rose in her as she felt the bicycle gather speed under her, the panting sense of accomplishement as she reached the top of the slope and the rush of the wind in her hair and under her sari as she went down the other side. Then there was the freedom to come and go as she pleased.
-Shyam Selvadurai
"Cinnamon Gardens", a novel

Twenty-five years ago today

March 14, 1986
Friday

Well, I worked along merrily despite my latest feeling of blues over being at my current job. I hope I get this Copy Service Artist position. It would be a delightful change.

After work I went over to meet with Karen and Amy in the Marina district, near the Golden Gate Bridge. That's where they were shooting some photos. From there we went to LILY's to mingle. Then we moved over to BARNABY's and back to LILY's and over to BARNABY's one more time. I made it home by midnight. It was fun. I was feeling good.

When I arrived home Chad called me.
Chad said, "Yeah, I went to the gym tonight and I was wondering where you were."
"Oh, well I went out with SOME FRIENDS."
We actually made tentative arrangements to meet at my place tomorrow (Saturday). We're going to watch a TV movie that I taped starring Farrah Fawcett and Colleen Dewhurst called BETWEEN TWO WOMEN.

Of all of England's rulers, none has ever understood as well as Queen Elizabeth I that the key to monarchy is theater. Her courtier favorites, men like Leicester and Essex, had always pretended they were in love with her.
What is theater and what is real?
One mirrors the other.
-Edward Rutherford
"LONDON", the novel

Rain or Shine

"That much butter could kill a guy."
"That much woman could kill a guy."
-as heard in the 2000 film
"WOMAN ON TOP"

Twenty-five years ago today

March 13, 1986
Thursday

There is still no word to Chad. There is still no word from Chad.

I telephoned Amy Platt several times. It was her day-off, so she escaped the Lafayette household. I left two or three messages at her (temporary) home phone in Walnut Creek.

I did not work very hard today. I worked just enough to get by with a decent sales day.

I received a surprise phone call from Jim Koran in Los Angeles.
Jim said, "Hey Mike, I'm planning a trip up there in April."
"Oh yeah, well we have to get together."
"Yeah, and by the way—do you think you could look up a non-published number for me?"
I thought silently, "Oh, so that's why he called me."
"Uh, sure…who does the number belong to?" I asked.
"It's just some actor named Bill Beyers."
I gave him the information.

Margaret Lai is definitely moving on Saturday 'rain or shine'.
Margaret said, "You know, Michael. Whether it's rain or shine I feel my mother will watch over me."
Margaret's mother is dead, so I thought that was good for her to feel this way.

I telephoned Chris Cordellos to confirm his house call for cutting my hair.

Chris came by and cut my hair. We watched that show called THE COLBYS afterward. Chris shared a few stories about his job. He is in another world compared to mine right now. It seems as you lose touch with certain friends things are never the same. Chris spent the night—much to my dismay. I didn't really mind. We're good enough friends. He gave me a haircut, too.

Amy Platt returned my phone call while I was doing an acrylic painting of CHILLY WILLY on canvas. We confirmed lunch on Monday in Lafayette, CA. Amy disclosed that she had some modeling photo shots done today. I may meet up with her and Karen in San Francisco after work at a place called LILY's. If there's no meeting there is always Saturday or Sunday.

I also spent some time sketching a bicycle that Chad gifted me for Christmas.

I will have to make a decision soon about my vacation in May.

I was remembering what Amy had revealed to me before, "I was actually engaged twice."
"You were?" I asked. "What happened?"
"The first guy was killed in an auto accident only days before our planned marriage. The other one I just broke it off."
Karen interjected, "It was a good move because they were both too much alike."
I was excited that Amy knew of the character CHILLY WILLY. I hope I get this Copy Service Artist job now because I feel good about my art works now. I'm crossing my fingers.


Tony, my brother, reached excellence last month in the SDC office. This is a rare occurrence for a new person to the department. I confronted him.
"So Tony, did Dennis Reno give you some leads?"
Tony replied, "Oh no, I just take a lot of calls."
I thought to myself, "Right…sounds fishy—but whatever."


"Why don't you pick up a pen and correct people's misimpressions?"
-Abigail Adams to John Adams
2008 Film, JOHN ADAMS

Pondering the Idea

"Do you intend to torment me much longer?"
-Daniel Deronda,
2002 Film

Twenty-five years ago today

March 12, 1986
Wednesday

I hate that buzzard alarm clock!

I went to work and managed to complete a very good sales day (considering I was off the phone part of the day while taking care of service committee functions like our sub-sandwich sales).

I telephoned Steph Redding for inspirational talk but she didn't have any real big news. Her laryngitis is clearing up now.

I have not heard from Chad Mark Glen at all.
Chad had said, "I went to the gym last Thursday."
I know he knew that I wouldn't be there because of my Sushi night outing. I wonder if that's why he made a point of going at that time. I have chosen to NOT call him either.

I was able to acquire a great new residential number for Leonard Perillo: 655-0555. The number is for his new Emeryville apartment.

I worked out at the gym for a good hour. I dropped by SAFEWAY and bought some of my favorite mineral-filled foods (sardines, yogurt, almonds, milk, bananas and apples). I watched DYNASTY and went straight to bed.

I've been pondering the idea of calling on George Jones once again. I located his work telephone number. I may give him a ring. I have not heard from him since last October 1985.

I found out about air-fare to Palm Springs, Hawaii and Florida. Palm Springs is only $78 round-trip from Oakland. It seems to be the cheapest bet.

I ordered some new bib bike shorts from Los Angeles from a sports connected catalog. I hope I like them.

Chris Cordellos will be cutting my hair tomorrow.

I've decided to call Amy Platt. I'm going to see about she and her nanny kid, Daniel, having lunch with me and my niece, Ashley, on Monday. Time will tell.

"I soon was making the journey that changed my life forever--one that brought me from self-hatred, loneliness, and despair to self-acceptance and love."
-Michael Kozuch
"Telling Tales Out of School", edited by Kevin Jennings

Intellectual Expression

"Sometimes I think I can put up with anything."
-A WOMAN IN BERLIN, 2008 film

Twenty-five years ago today

March 11, 1986
Tuesday

Every time I call DIRECTORY Yellow Pages I hear not-so-good-news regarding current openings. There seems to be only Staff Clerk or Administrative type positions right now.

My sales day was not the greatest on this Tuesday.

Steph Bautista presented me with my most recent job evaluation. I was rated as all "HIGH". She is going to sign me up for the ASR (Account Service Representative) test. If I pass this test I don't think I will accept a job offer. It's not what I really want.

Steph Redding telephoned.
"Michael, I sent your pictures in as an entry for the GQ Contest to Eileen Ford in New York today."
I replied, "Well, that's a plus…but I think my chances are slim at best."
Her comments made me wonder what Steph actually wrote about me. I imagine it was only good things. She's sweet.

I bought bunches of lettuce and a SPORTS Fitness magazine that had a major feature about bicycling. It's good.

I telephoned Chris Cordellos today. He is coming over to my house on Thursday to cut my hair. He's so nice to do that. What a chum.

But beauty, real beauty, ends where an intellectual expression begins. Intellect is in itself a mode of exaggeration, and destroys the harmony of any face.
-Oscar Wilde
"The Picture of Dorian Gray"

Career Paths

"If there's one thing we Americans know is to fight for what we want."
-Anne Bancroft
"Haven", 2001 film starring Natasha Richardson

Twenty-five years ago today

March 10, 1986
Monday

I had a talk with Steph Bautista, my boss, about career paths today. We discussed ASR (Account Service Representative). She is hoping to lead me in that direction.
I said, "I guess I can take the test for ASR."
Now I am debating whether I want to take the ASR test at all. I'd rather transfer to another department altogether. I'm tired of being a Service Representative and/or an Account Executive. The ASR position is just another formal way of being a Representative in Business Marketing. Who dreams up these job titles?

I submitted some more job transfer requests. I chose one for 'Analyst' in San Francisco, San Jose or Oakland and 'Copy Service Artist' in San Jose. We shall see what happens.

I had a good workout at the gym. I saw Leonard Perillo. We had a nice and friendly talk.
Leonard said, "My employee, Patrick, will be calling you for a good telephone number."
"No problem, I'll look into it for him," I replied.
Leonard's really very cool. We shall see.

I meant to call the Travel Bureau today to find out how much a round-trip ticket to Palms Springs would be versus a round-trip ticket to Florida. Oh well, I'll add it to my list.

I received a letter from Paloma (see letter on February 27, 2010 BLOG). She seems to be in good spirits.

I spoke to Amy Platt a lot during my work hours yesterday. She is very sweet. I just don't know…

I keep thinking about my options: ASR (Account Service Representative), Directory Yellow Pages lateral move or downgrade, Analyst or Copy Service Artist. We shall see. I don't believe I want the ASR channel after all.

Suzy Miller telephoned last night. She received a job offer in San Francisco as Communications Tech. She is so very indecisive about accepting it. It sounds like my current predicament.

"The longest journey begins with a single step."
-PRECIOUS, 2009 motion-picture

A Singular Sensation

"I wish I could love...but I seem to have lost the passion, and forgotten the desire.  I am too much concentrated on myself.  My own personality has become a burden to me.  I want to escape, to go away, to forget."
-Oscar Wilde
"The Picture of Dorian Gray"


Twenty-five years ago today

March 9, 1986
Sunday

It was breakfast at mom's house again.

I telephoned Chad later and made arrangements to drive over to his place in Castro Valley.

I was feeling a bit down about Chad and I.  I felt a slightly uncomfortable when I first laid eyes on him.  We went to Southland Shopping Mall in Hayward in cordial spirits.  I  bought some new REEBOKS tennis shoes.  Then we went to BAY FAIR Shopping Mall in San Leandro for a bit and made it back to his place in Castro Valley.  We kind of took a nap.  We both felt lazy.

At about five o'clock we got up and got ready to go for an outing to the Chabot Theater.  Larry was kind enough to treat us to some noodles, so we took him up on the serving.

Before Chabot Theater we stopped at SAFEWAY fro snacks. We ended up seeing "TWICE IN A LIFETIME", starring Ann-Margret and "A CHORUS LINE".  It was good.  It was a singular sensation.  I enjoyed it.

PHOTO: Amy Platt, Summer 1988

While watching "A CHORUS LINE" I couldn't help but think of Amy Platt, knowing that she is from New York.  She also told me she was a ballet dancer.

"Always take the one you like best."
-"Just A Question Of Love",
a 2000 French Film

Staying Home

"Who knows what lies ahead?"
-UDAAN, 2010 film from INDIA

PHOTO: Michael J Armijo, Amy Platt
at my Christmas Party, December 19, 1987


Twenty-five years ago today

March 8, 1986
Saturday

I had breakfast at mom and dad's house this morning. I went bicycling but got caught in the rain. I got drenched.

Al Martinez, one of my coworkers, called me about the Chinese Parade going on in The City today. I wasn't in the mood to drive in to The City on my day off.

Chad ended up having to work late. As it turned out I felt nauseous. I didn't want to go out at all.

I learned from my telephone conversation with Amy Platt that she and Karen were going to Bobby McGee's tonight. Then they changed their minds and decided to go to "The Oasis" in San Francisco instead. I didn't feel like going, so I went to bed at 9:30PM. Yesterday and tonight were simply not 'outing nights' for me this weekend. I'm staying home. Yawn.

"It's dangerous to tell the truth.  If you tell the truth they may not love you anymore."
-HIS SECRET LIFE,
a 2002 Italian film

Time To Myself

"The other world is a club I wish not to join."
-Quentin Crisp
"The Naked Civil Servant", 1975 Film

Twenty-five years ago today

March 7, 1986
Friday

The weather is starting to look gloomy once again. I am supposed to be seeing Chad tonight. I just realized that at midnight it will be four months since we officially met.

Work passed. I didn't see Chad after all. He was photos assisting at an "Eddie and The Tide" concert at Centennial Hall in Hayward, CA.
"Why don't you come to the concert?"
Chad urged me to attend but I didn't. It was pouring down rain. I needed "TTM". I stayed home and watched FALCON CREST. I also created a glossary of acronyms (it the letters are in quotes the word is actually pronounced versus saying the letters):

OG: Old Geezer
OGMO: Old Geezer Grossing Me out
GMO: Gross Me Out
"OGMOSIS": A Group of Old Geezers Grossing Me Out
G"MAB": Give Me A Break
MT: My Type
PBL: Possibility
QBL: Questionably gay
OBV: Obviously gay
VVR: Very Very Ridiculous
"PineVok": A Pineapple Vodka
OW: Overweight
TOL: Tub Of Lard
SII: Suck It In
"LIAHO": Let It All Hang Out
LT: Like That (actually snap your fingers)
BB: Bleached Blond
NMT: Not My Type
JR: Just Right
"WAB": What a Bone!
"WAG": What a Gut or Geek or Goob!
PAE: Parts Are Edible
TMF: Too Many Freckles
QF: Quick Fuck
"ELF": Everlasting Fuck
"DA": Dumb Ass
NB: Not Bad
"NIM": Not In The Mood
OOI: Out OF It
GTTM: Grody To the Max
CFMP: Come Fuck Me Pumps
STS: She's Too Sleazy
"NOYB": None Of Your Business
OOS: Out of Shape
NBD: No Big Deal
BS: Bull-Shit
CE: Cute Eyes
GB: Great Body
SSB: Some Smooth Body
VCO: Vision the Clothes Off
CMF: Catch My Flight
"NAH": Nipples Are Hard
GTE: Getting Too Excited
TMO: Turn Me On (or OFF)
G"MAK": Give Me a Kiss
DYU: Do You Understand?
NP: No Problem
LOF: Lack Of Funds
"AYAGAYL": Are You As Good As You Look?
"JAF": Just A Fantasy
IMC: International Male Catalog 'material'
"GOOT": Get Out Of Town
TTM: Time To Myself
"WAC": Wise-Ass Chick
C"MUMM": Can't Make Up My Mind
SFH: Sent From Heaven
GTH: Go To Hell
YFS: Your Feet Smell/Stink
"TIBD": Tomorrow It'll Be Over
DPS: Damn Pretty Smile
L"FAP": Looking For A Prince or Princess
LBC: Let's Be Choosy
LBS: Let's Be Selective
FIL: Falling In Love
HF: High-Fashion
RMB: Ride My Bike
RH "Factor": Receding Hairline Factor
PG: Pretty Good
I"NAR": I Need A Raise
HS: High-Standards
E"FAT": Escape From All of This
CD: Calm Down
NMOT: Not Much On Top
NA: Nice Ass OR Not Applicable
SOS: Same Old Shit
"SAND": Start A New Day
TTR: "Try To Relax"
H"BAD": How Bout A Drink
G"FAN": Good For A Night
DP: Definite Possibilities
ANP: A New Position
DBS: Damn Big Schnozzel (Nose)
R"FAB": Ready For A Break
I"NAB": I Need A Break
GSD: Good Stiff Dick
PST: Play Some Tunes
JPR: Just Plain Relax
"WAFA": What A Fucken-Asshole"
"BAN" W: Buy A New Wardrobe!
MDC: My Dream Car
T"MAJ": Tell Me A Joke
G"FAK": Go Fly A Kite
OE: Old Enough
YMO: You're Missin' Out
GTB: Go To Bed
FOC: Full of Complements
"OMH": Over My Head
TDY: Too Damn Young
OTR: On The Rag
TDH: Tall Dark and Handsome
TDB: Tall Dark and Beautiful
TDO: Too Damn Old

"I had it both ways...just like Oscar Wilde."
-"The Borstal Boy", 2002 Film

The Symphony

"There's only one thing more pathetic than a woman drinking alone...
Two women, drinking alone."
-"Me and My Shadows",
a 2001 film about Life with Judy Garland

Twenty-five years ago today

March 6, 1986
Thursday

It's another day back at the old grind. I've only come to learn that all of my Directory Yellow Pages transfer requests have been cancelled. I have to call the jobs hotline based on new methods for applying for the Directory job listings. How annoying. I chose to simply take the JOBS HANDBOOK home. I am going to apply for the 'Copy Service Artist' position in San Francisco, Oakland, and San Ramon. I'm also looking at the 'Analyst' position in San Ramon. I may get lucky. Who knows?

Sushi night is tonight. Margaret Lai and I went to AVANTI's. We both browsed the JOBS HANDBOOK together. Geneva (Helen's sister), Helen, Brian and some other lug showed up and we "sushi'd out". The only problem was the twenty-five dollar ticket I received for parking partially in front of a driveway. Why me? Oh well…

Steph Redding telephoned and casually mentioned her birthday on March 28th. I received the tickets to the Symphony but I think I'll invite Amy Platt. Is her surname Platt or Pratt? And is Karen's name Craven or Kraven? Whatever. I'm glad I came across Karen and Amy, drinking alone that other night. Amy's cool.

Chad telephoned also.
"Chad, I've got these Symphony tickets from work." I stated excitedly.
"Oh, I want to go."
"I know—but I may have to go with someone from work."
Amy seems more interested in going, so I think I will go with her. I already 'sort of' asked her anyway.

Steph seems to think I have a real chance in this GQ Contest.
Steph advised, "You know—I've made a connection with some 'fella' who is part owner of MTV and other affiliations."
"Really?"
"Yes, really. And guess what?"
"What?"
"He wants me to choose all of his models for his advertising."
It seems she is a good connection (no doubt).

I was home late (like 9:45PM) because of Sushi night. I wrote out my four new Job Transfer requests. That was that. I hit the sack.

Tchaikovsky's 4th Symphony is one of his most revealing mid-career dramatic pieces. The 4th Symphony took Tchaikovsky's personal turmoil and experience and transformed them into something universal.
-Tchaikovsky, 2007 motion-picture

GQ Contest

"There is a talent to love."
-Daniel Deronda, 2002 Movie

Twenty-five years ago today

March 5, 1986
Wednesday

I telephoned Amy when I arrived at work this morning. She was pleasant. I enjoyed speaking to her. I slyly suggested our going out together some time.
Amy said, "Yeah, sure."
She had to get off of the phone because of Daniel. He is the kid born two days before Ashley that she cares for in Lafayette, CA. Daniel was being a nuisance. Amy was hired from the East Coast to be a sort of nanny but she got the job because of her Registered Nurse credentials.

I did fairly well at work today, considering I only worked a half-day.

I am beginning to think seriously about Amy—but then again—I'm not really sure yet.

Steph Redding is entering me in some GQ Contest. I could win work for the next two years totaling a minimum of $50,000 plus. She makes it all sound too good to be true. It's all dependent on if I win.
Steph says, "You could win, Michael. I just need two pictures of you."
"Well, I'm skeptical. I can't help it…but I'll send you a couple of pictures tomorrow."

I rode my bike from 3:45PM until about 5:30PM today. I ate a bit at home and crashed until 7:30PM when I proceeded to go to the gym for the Wednesday night workout. It was a fair, not-so-great workout. I made it home just in time for DYNASTY.

I telephoned Chad just before I went to bed and left him a message on his machine. He must've been home because he called me back within ten minutes.
"I've been working so much lately," Chad explained.
"Yeah, me too…so are you up for Friday?" I asked.
"Yes sure."
We had a nice talk. I learned that Randy has been hanging out with Larry a lot lately.
Chad readily revealed, "I don't like Randy much. I think he's out to use Larry."
"You think so?"
Chad continued, "Yeah, you know—I had this dream that I beat Randy up."

I soon went to bed.
I thought silently, "I hope I win that GQ Contest now.  If I do it would be fun.  Oh well…if I don't I'll still be happy.  Life could be worse."

With deep denial and shame, I unconciously believed that too would change.  I learned to ignore fleeting thoughts and shameful feelings that meant I was gay.
-"Telling Tales Out of School"
a book edited by Kevin Jennings